Want a flashback of crappy 1990’s web design? Visit MySpace!

MySpace Web Design SucksI think I’m one of the proud few who can honestly say: “I have never opened a MySpace account and I am darn proud of it!”  The web design and interface of an average MySpace user profile page is atrocious!  Everything that sucked about gaudy 1990’s web design is incorporated whole hardily into every facet of these pages.  And unfortunately for the rest of us, the trend of poor design seems to be spreading like a viral infection from one MySpace profile page to the next.

Do you want a MySpace page that is guaranteed to help you fit in with the majority?  Allow me enlighten you:

The more flashing graphics you have on your profile page, the better!  Add at least 100 digital photos, cropped in all different sizes, all over your homepage.  Organization is of no concern.  Have a loud rock or rap mp3 queued for auto-launch as soon as a visitor hits your page, and make sure the media player’s stop button is hidden amongst the clutter of random photos and flashing graphics.

Then, tile the background with a really bright, high contrast image… Or better yet, use a large, high contrast, fixed background image right in the center of your page.  No worries, your fellow MySpacer’s will be happy to scroll around your flashy fixed background image in order to read the insightful content squeezed into your two sentence “About Me” blurb.  Oh, and don’t concern yourself with populating that optional blog thingy with intelligent content.  Your MySpace friends just want you to mesmerize them upon a single glance, so continue to concentrate all your efforts on uploading more photos and animations.

Sorry for the sarcastic negativity… but, I just pray that this 90’s web design virus stays contained within the MySpace domain.  I understand MySpace uses sophisticated Web 2.0 technologies on the backend, but gosh, the front end is an open wound of bad taste.


  1. says

    I haven’t opened up a MySpace account yet either!!! They’re SO messy looking. But props to commenter #1 on the Geocities reference. I DID have a Geocities account wayyy back in the day. I was a fan of Facebook too…until the day they decided to add apps.


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