post written by: Marc Chernoff

10 Signs it’s Time to Let Go

10 Signs it is Time to Let Go

Holding on is being brave, but letting go and moving on is often what makes us stronger and happier.

Here are ten signs it’s time to let go:

  1. Someone expects you to be someone you’re not. – Don’t change who you are for anyone else.  It’s wiser to lose someone over being who you are, than to keep them by being someone you’re not.  Because it’s easier to mend a broken heart, than it is to piece together a shattered identity.  It’s easier to fill an empty space in your life where someone else used to be, than it is to fill the empty space inside yourself where YOU used to be.
  2. A person’s actions don’t match their words. – Everybody deserves somebody who helps them look forward to tomorrow.  If someone has the opposite effect on you, because they are consistently inconsistent and their actions don’t match up with their words, it’s time to let them go.  It’s always better to be alone than to be in bad company.  True friendship is a promise made in the heart – silent, unwritten, unbreakable by distance, and unchangeable by time.  Don’t listen to what people say; watch what they do.  Your true friends will slowly reveal themselves over time.
  3. You catch yourself forcing someone to love you. – Let us keep in mind that we can’t force anyone to love us.  We shouldn’t beg someone to stay when they want to leave.  That’s what love is all about – freedom.  However, the end of love is not the end of life.  It should be the beginning of an understanding that love sometimes leaves for a reason, but never leaves without a lesson.  If someone truly loves you, they will never give you a reason to doubt it.  Anyone can come into your life and say how much they love you, but it takes someone really special to stay in your life and prove how much they love you.  Sometimes it takes awhile to find the right person, but the right person is always worth the wait.  Read The Road Less Traveled.
  4. An intimate relationship is based strictly on physical attraction. – Being beautiful is more than how many people you can get to look at you, or how others perceive you at a single glance.  It’s about what you live for.  It’s about what defines you.  It’s about the depth of your heart, and what makes you unique.  It’s about being who you are and living out your life honestly.  It’s about those little quirks that make you, you.  People who are only attracted to you because of your pretty face or nice body won’t stay by your side forever.  But the people who can see how beautiful your heart is will never leave you.
  5. Someone continuously breaks your trust. – Love means giving someone the chance to hurt you, but trusting them not to.  When you completely trust a person, without any doubt, you’ll automatically get one of two results - a FRIEND for life or a LESSON for life.  Either way there’s a positive outcome.  Either you confirm the fact that this person cares about you, or you get the opportunity to weed them out of your life and make room for those who do.  In the end you’ll discover who’s fake, who’s true, and who would risk it all for you.  And trust me, some people will totally surprise you.
  6. Someone continuously overlooks your worth.Know your worth!  When you give yourself to someone who doesn’t respect you, you surrender pieces of your soul that you’ll never get back.  There comes a point when you have to let go and stop chasing some people.  If someone wants you in their life, they’ll find a way to put you there.  Sometimes you just need to let go and accept the fact that they don’t care for you the way you care for them.  Let them leave your life quietly.  Letting go is oftentimes easier than holding on.  We think it’s too hard to let go, until we actually do.  Then we ask ourselves, “Why didn’t I do this sooner?”
  7. You are never given a chance to speak your mind. – Sometimes an argument saves a relationship, whereas silence breaks it.  Speak up for your heart so that you won’t have regrets.  Life is not about making others happy.  Life is about being honest and sharing your happiness with others.
  8. You are frequently forced to sacrifice your happiness. – If you allow people to make more withdrawals than deposits in your life, you will be out of balance and in the negative before you know it.  Know when to close the account.  It’s always better to be alone with dignity than in a relationship that constantly requires you to sacrifice your happiness and self-respect.  Read Stumbling on Happiness.
  9. You truly dislike your current situation, routine, job, etc. – It’s better to be a failure at something you love than to succeed at doing something you hate.  Don’t let someone who gave up on their dreams talk you out of going after yours.  The best thing you can do in life is follow your heart.  Take risks.  Don’t just make the safe and easy choices because you’re afraid of what might happen.  If you do, nothing will ever happen.  Chances must be taken, mistakes must be made, and lessons must be learned.  It might be an uphill climb, but when you reach that mountaintop it will be worth every ounce of blood, sweat and tears you put into it.
  10. You catch yourself obsessing over, and living in, the past. – Eventually you will overcome the heartache, and forget the reasons you cried, and who caused the pain.  Eventually you will realize that the secret to happiness and freedom is not about control or revenge, but in letting things unfold naturally, and learning from your experiences over the course of time.  After all, what matters most is not the first, but the final chapter of your life, which unveils the details of how well you wrote your story.  So let go of the past, set yourself free, and open your mind to the possibility of new relationships and priceless experiences.  Read The Power of Now.

And the one thing you should never let go of is hope.  Remember what you deserve and keep pushing forward.  Someday all the pieces will come together.  Unimaginably good things will transpire in your life, even if everything doesn’t turn out exactly the way you had anticipated.  And you will look back at the times that have passed, smile, and ask yourself, “How did I get through all of that?”

Photo by: Kelsey

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  • Thank you. This post is filled with wonderful truths. Regarding #5 - My husband and I did not get along when we first met. Then we got to know each other and I found a friend for life. Then we began to trust each other… and I found the love of my life ♥.

  • Terrence J White
    April 2nd, 2012 at 12:56 am

    “How did I get through all of that?” I think this question is what provides hope through letting go; be it relationships, cared opportunities or things of the past. Thanks for the great reminder.

  • Lovely and true. I simply love this… your posts always seem to speak directly to me. Thank you.

  • Rachel Lea Green
    April 2nd, 2012 at 1:02 am

    I am amazed every day when I see your updates on Facebook and your latest blog posts: it’s as though you know exactly what I need to hear at the exact moment!

    Thank y’all so much for being such good people; I too believe life is about helping your neighbor and that is what y’all do. We are all here in this life together and it’s folks like you who remind us to love and lookout for ourselves and others. Peace ♥ ;)

  • Great food for thought! Thanks for writing this and sharing it with us.

  • Thanks again for another timely post! I got my College Entry Exam scores. I got 280 , when I needed to get 306 if I wanted to get into my school of choice. I was feeling so blue , but your words here have given me hope.


  • I am grateful every time I read your posts and I feel my worries fade away. Thank you for being generous!

  • Mary Kimberling
    April 2nd, 2012 at 5:13 am

    I really enjoyed reading this, there is definitely a lot said here and a lot to think about.

  • I found this really interesting to read, mostly because it made me reflect on the ways that I can sometimes do all of the things in the “top 10″ to loved ones, and it gave me pause for thought. In particular point 1, about expecting someone to be who they are not, is powerful. Accepting our partners, friends, family and selves for who we are can truly make us feel valued and valuable.
    Thanks for your insights…I’m really liking the look of your blog

  • Thanks for the great post! :)

    Just my thought, to let go of a thing or a person is not always easy. It really requires lot of courage to make such move, agree? But it is necessary sometimes.


  • Thank you for opening my eyes.. I was touched so much by this post. All of your writing has such beauty & meaning.. Amazing!!! Thank You For Sharing..

  • Timely for me. Thanks for this.

  • I needed this one today - thanks!

  • Hard to hear… but so so true. Thank you for reminding me.

  • This is one of my favorite articles on your blog so far. Thanks for sharing it with us. All the best…

  • This is the best blog I have come across. You always seem to know exactly what is going on in my heart. Thank you for this!

  • Well said, all the points are 10/10. Might add turning towards prayers and meditations for healing. Thanks for another positive post.

  • Thanks for this post… this came in one of the most difficult moments of my life. Your insights inspire me to continue walking forward and not lose the hope.

    Thanks again.

  • Wonderful tips for letting go. This is something we all have to learn about life and know when to let go.

    5. Someone continuously breaks your trust. – Love means giving someone the chance to hurt you, but trusting them not to. This one says a lot.

    And this part - a FRIEND for life or a LESSON for life. The thing we have to remember is that if that trust is broken to move on without taking it personal.

    Many times we can take things personal and it will keep us from moving on.

    Knowing when to let go of a relationship is like taking the garbage out of the stream, so the water can run smoothly.

  • Fantastic Post!

    …And thanks, Marc. The ‘logical-side’ knew the truth long ago, but the ‘emotional-side’ nearly destroyed it. Sure, ‘emotions’ keep one from being cold & ruthless, but they can also cloud vision & enable scum to try to create a mess!

    Everything needs balance. :)

  • Many thanks as always! :)

  • Lovely. Life is about constant change and growth. Something that was great for us yesterday can be not so good today. Know the difference and act accordingly. Thanks for another great post.

  • So much time and heartache could be saved if people could let go of those who don’t have their best interests at heart. When someone tells you who they are, believe them. Trying to change them or make them love you just takes time and energy away from finding the ones who will love you for who you are.

  • My only sibling decided about 6 months ago that she didn’t need me in her life anymore. This devastated me. We were extremely close, but our paths went in separate directions about 5 years ago. Reading the above blog and thinking through each sign, I must say, I can relate to about 7 of them. Thank you for helping me find some of the peace I’ve been praying for. You touch so many lives in a positive way, I hope you know how much wisdom and compassion you hold in your fingers as you type this blog.

  • Your posts set the tone for me daily. Thank You for sharing all your thoughts and wisdom.

  • Ouch :) But so true.

  • I needed this today. Perfect timing. Thank you :)

  • Number 6 is my favorite…thanks for reminding me!!

  • Beautiful reminder of what to do and not do in relationships!

    Thanks :)

  • Totally loved it!!! Especially the “know your worth” point :)

  • Thanks for this wonderful thoughts… I always feel really inspired when I read your blog… I want to keep the hope that everything will be fantastic…

  • Another great post, Marc. Thanks for sharing. In fact, I am so thankful to you for every post you write. You guys make our days.

  • Your site as touched me in so many ways, giving me the push I needed to discard the negative people and thoughts from my life. Thank you.

  • These are many of the reasons why I felt it was time to end my first marriage. It took me a long time to admit them to myself, and then to get the courage to tell him I had to let go of our relationship. But now, five and a half years later, we are both so much happier. I don’t regret the marriage or its end.

  • Thank you for always sharing spiritually guided messages for the heart. This really speaks for me at this time in life. I am shifting towards a new way of thinking and learning new and old things about myself. Truly blessed.

  • As always, thank you, all of you. Your kind remarks mean so much to the both of us.

    :) We hope you all are having a great week!

  • I have to say, you guys are helping a lot of us through some difficult times.

    What I got out of this is that the negative relationship to let go of is the one I have with myself. So many of us are in bad relationships with ourselves and it’s especially challenging to ignore the louder daimonic voice that keeps us in a negative space and try to make out what the much quieter loving voice is telling us.

    Much love + respect

  • You are amazing! Your posts are beautifully written and delivered so timely. Love this blog and look forward to each and every post.

    Well done!

  • Thanks. These relationship points are helpful.

  • Another great read from you two that made me think. Thanks for spreading such insight.

  • Whew… these are tough to read, but man are they spot on! I think we all go through something like this every once in awhile; I’m kind of going through it lately as well. But we have to follow what’s going on and make the best decisions possible. Timely; thanks for writing this.

  • Loved it! Every point!

  • Sometimes it’s easier to be said than done, but your post gave me the extra courage to do so. After all, sometimes we need to let go of the negatives and make space for something better, right? Thanks so much!

  • Love it!!! Mind Blowing! I really appreciate your work :)

  • Thank you so much!!! This article means a lot to me… frankly, in a subtle way, I was waiting for such piece of advice. :) it’s really helpful.

  • From the bottom of my heart, I thank you for these great words. Truly appreciate them.

  • I needed this wake-up call. Your words haunt me. They are the thoughts in my head I have attempted to avoid. These are realities in any relationship but when it is your partner in whom you have invested many years, it seems you spend more effort in looking at your own faults, your own insecurities and your own actions. This is the most painful experience of my life. The thanks I have for your thoughts may not become apparent for some time to come, but I know they were needed.

  • This is unbelievably relevant for me right now. I’m still trying to recover from getting dumped by a man who was cheating on me with a now-former-friend of mine. So much of this blog entry describes how our relationship was, and I didn’t see it at the time for how unhealthy it was for me. Thank You, Marc and Angel. I’m taking this one to heart.

  • This is spot on… great insight!

  • Excellent article. I enjoy this blog, @ShamansWell led me to “15 Things Real Friends Do Differently” and I’ve been browsing. Love what I see. Bookmarking this blog ☮♥♫

  • I Googled “letting go” and brought me here. I let go of a good friend and am heart broken. She loves drama (makes decisions that gets her in trouble over and over again) but runs to me for help when things go wrong. Enough was enough. I’m hurting for feeling like I wasn’t recognize for my worth as a friend. Thank you for the read.

  • I was courting this girl who at first seemed to share my love for her. We made so many plans for the future together, and I made her a big part of my life. I know I loved her genuinely because I willingly made countless sacrifices for her, sacrifices that she seemed to appreciate only at the moment but forgot them as soon as some problems came along. She didn’t seem to want to make our relationship work. The more I tried to understand her, the more she pushed me away, and she eventually left me, just like that. I was devastated. Thanks to this article I came to realize that if something you want doesn’t happen despite your full effort to make it happen, just take it as a sign that maybe it wasn’t meant to be, because something better is out there waiting for you.

  • Uncannily synchronistic, as always. This is precisely what I needed to hear today. I fell deeply in love with someone who left me a couple of weeks ago, via email, with very little explanation, and now his explanation has proven to be untrue. The more I tried to open up and be vulnerable and honest with him, the more it pushed him away. It is time for me to let go of all of the hopes I had for us. It will be hard, but I know it’s the right thing to do. Thank you so much for posting this today.

  • This is one awesome article :) .. it made me so so so happy !! .. I only wish that I’d found it early today so that I didn’t have to crib all day long .. Thanks a million for sharing this article :)

  • “We can’t force anyone to love us. We shouldn’t beg someone to stay when they want to leave.” Love it! That’s what love is all about – freedom…

  • Sometimes all it takes is hearing it in another’s words to remind you of what you already know. Thank you. I needed a reminder about so many things on this list.

  • Talk about straight to the heart! I just recently had my hurt broken ….no shattered into million pieces. After reading this, it has opened my eyes! Thxs so much you blessed me!

  • You’re so inspirational and helpful, I feel a little stronger with each blog post I read. Thank you!
    Lots of Love <3

  • What a GREAT post! I’m stunned! Gonna save it - on my computer and in my heart <3
    Your page is really awesome - inspirational and helpful. Keep up the good work; know that a lot of people appreciate it! Thank you.
    Lot’s of love.

  • neha maheshwry
    July 8th, 2012 at 4:29 am

    Simply perfect. Thanks for sharing this.

  • True! Love this!

  • Thank you for the post (:

    Learning how to let go is something I’ve been trying to learn since that fateful day on 21 Dec 2010… A date of no significance to me anymore! I must move on!

  • Daryl, Jessie, and Erin I know exactly how you feel. This post was great and helpful in so many ways . Thank you!

  • excellent post as always

  • Your post really helped me. Thank you :) My heart still loves my ex boyfriend and reading your article really helps with perspective xx

  • Thank you so much!! Were currently going through a rough time and so many of this really speaks truth of our relationship. Its hard because we have a family together but this gave me hope that things will work out for the best!

    Appreciate it!

  • Your article resonates with me greatly and I believe I was destined to read it. Your insight has helped this slowly recovering heart. Thank you! Wishing you light and joy. Liz

  • Thank you very much. I needed this today. Reading this really helped me make a final decision about my relationship.

    Appreciate it.

  • Wow, fantastic. Yes, confirms what a wise friend once told me, “You can’t make anyone love you. Love will find you.” As difficult as it is to acknowledge, I get that now.

  • Katina Patterson
    August 22nd, 2012 at 9:35 am

    I thank you also for the wonderful post. I’ve read it on numerous occassions in an effort to “remind” myself that I made the correct decision when choosing to end a relationship with the person that I love so so deeply. Numbers 2, 3, 5 & 6 are all relative to that toxic life sucking relationship.

    As Stephen posted, “The ‘logical-side’ knew the truth long ago, but the ‘emotional-side’ nearly destroyed it. Sure, ‘emotions’ keep one from being cold & ruthless, but they can also cloud vision & enable scum to try to create a mess! Everything needs balance.”

    A mess he did create indeed, crushed me. But I’m gaining momentum & posts like this aid in this healing process. Thank you again. Peace & Love <3

  • Awesome article! It’s like we don’t have any shrinks in here where so, I open your website and feel like taking notes from you! You folks, are one of the best things to happen online in a long while.

    Peace and LOVE!!

  • This is really amazing… i feel the freedom now. Thanks for sharing this article, it has saved me grief and changed my view. I will read it again and again.

  • Thank you for your words of wisdom. 4 and 5 hit the nail on the head for me. I was with this man for a year, and always had doubts about what I meant to him. Well, I know for sure now. Superficial people are a menace. I’ve learned my lesson; let my intuition be my guide.

  • Thank you so much for your words.

  • Fab post, love all your meaningful tips. I can relate to the “trust” point here, it is so true some people really do surprise you.
    Thanx for sharing! x

  • This is a great insight and look on many people’s lives - I can definitely relate. I needed this it’s an easy way to make me look forward.

  • Thank you for telling me what I knew in my heart, but have been frightened for so long to admit to myself….One I shall be saving to my homepage for comfort when I need it.

  • Thank you for writing this post. I have been tormented with the decision to break it off with a man who emotionally abuses me with distance and the silent treatment and then love and affection and then immediately cold and distant once he gets what he wants from me. It’s hard for me because my heart was already invested when the coldness came about. He’s back and forth so much, I have two visions in my mind–one is leaving him and taking a chance on a brand new unknown life and the other is giving him the benefit of the doubt (yet again) and being loving and loyal. He’s coming to visit in two weeks (we are long-distance) and I’m scared that I won’t live up to my own expectations. I’m trying to gain strength through the positive articles I’ve found and my spiritual practice–I have to say this guy has been under my skin for 5 years now. I honestly don’t see myself with any other man, but I know that I cannot continue to be played by him. I’m very happy to have come across your blog. Maybe, it will give me the strength to say “no” to someone who de-values me, no matter how much I love him.

  • I am in the same boat…met a friend who claims to be a christian and a true friend, but her actions does not match her words. She is controlling in a subtle way; tries to make me feel guilty and always attempt to throw biblical verses at me for every actions I take. I cannot speak my mind without being corrected in a biblical sense. I believe but it is really ridiculous and suffocating. I decided to let go slowly and respectful. I feel better that this friendship did not become an obsession on my part. God does protect you if you ask. Thanks for the post…very helpful.

  • I can relate to all the signs because I went trhough all them. What I like most in this article are those hopeful words and thoughts you laid out here, it’s like I can almost taste them. I just did let go today.. I thank God as well for the graces He gave me so I can let go quietly, no revengeful or bitter heart, without committing acts I will regret and making me charitable and let go.. Thank you for your wonderful thoughts. God bless!

  • This is so soothing for the heart. Reading it over and over is definitely helping.

    Thank you.

  • Thank you for this. I needed some perspective as I have been spinning my wheels for a long while feeling helpless and yes, afraid. I am struggling to let go of a stressful family situation that has affected my health so badly my life expectancy has now been shortened. There have been so many glaring realities that I have chosen to put on the backburner while I cared for others and put myself last. Just by reading this has helped me make a choice for moving forward. Thank you for your wisdom
    Light and blessings to you!

  • This advice is so gratefully appreciated… I have struggled with these ten items all my childhood and my adult life, I have decided to draw that line in the sand and state from myself No More…. Its Time To Let Things Go That Bring No Value…

  • just what i needed, thank you :)

  • Thank you kindly for sharing this wonderfully written blog.

  • One of the most brilliant posts I’ve read on the topic of letting go.
    Thanks for the teachings.

  • Thank you for the advice on relationships and letting go. In the end, two people just have to mesh together. There is no such thing as a perfect match and you have to work at your relationships to keep them running. Sometimes partners take each other for granted and thus leads to one of them crossing the line somehow.

  • Boy, I really needed this list right now. There are some relationships (family and other) that I’ve been needing to re-evaluate and have surely been chasing after and need to let free. And it actually feels spiritually lifting to me right now to let them go, as challenging as letting go might appear to be. The chipping away inside, at the price of keeping and maintaining the relationships, at “any cost” - have been killing me. And I do deserve better. Thank you for writing this, it is much appreciated.

  • This blog is beautifully written, truthful and painful.

  • Wow beautifully witten piece. Thank you so much for sharing, just what I needed to hear today :)

  • Simply amazing!!! How do you come up with this fantastic stuff…?

    January 11th, 2013 at 4:22 pm

    This is awesome!

  • I read this every day and it goes someway to easing the pain of my love lost. I’ve just returned from a visit to Poland to yet again win the heart of someone I love(d), respected and cherished. She had a troubled past and many fears about relationships. I showed nothing but commitment, devotion and adoration. Yet she continually showed me a lack of respect and no compassion. I feel devastated and so very very alone. But as WEAK AS I AM, there are no tears this time. I pray to an angel that I’ll get through this.

  • I sometimes find myself feeling a bit frustrated while reading through these blogs of information and help!? For the majority, they pertain to intimate relationships. As for myself, it is a family pain!! Although I am very grateful for what the two of you do to help others, I would like to find a page which relates to family matters!? Any suggestions will be greatly appreciated! :)

  • TRUE & WISE!

  • Abuse is way too prevelant in today’s society. I hope we can all let go of the anger and downsides of people whom control others and let others be. Peace for today…. growth for tomorrow.

  • This blog is so insightful and just when I badly needed a “friend” to soothe away the pain in my heart…

    But the funny thing for me is that no matter how much my mind tells me to let go, my heart is still not ready…Why is it so?

    This is the one person who affects me so much and I have all the difficulties in the world to ignore and forget him…It is becoming insane…

    He is very loving but there is a sadness in my heart that he does not love me the way I want it to be…

    It would have been easier to let go if he was really bad…but he is not…May be he just does not feel the same love that i feel for him…

    Still letting go is so difficult and heartbreaking…
    But reading your blog, I finally understood what is best for me to do.

  • This is exactly what I needed to be reminded of this morning. Well written. It’s amazing how letting go of old ways of thinking and asking the right questions can free you from so much stress.

  • I feel ashamed saying that my relationship has every single one of the flaws on this article… I always knew that it wasn’t right, but he always says I’m crazy. I know I’m not crazy! I know he doesn’t treat me right.. I know this relationship isn’t right. He tells me he loves me, but his actions show the complete opposite. I just feel like I’m on a dead end relationship. It’s time to let go and make a change.

  • I love the messages. They uplift my spirit. I have been so down these days but stumbling upon your posts gives me a reason to smile and contemplate a better life. Thank you very much. More power to you. :)

  • Thank you for creating this website in the first place. I was at the lowest point of my life until I found this website. Today, I’ll make some changes because I deserve to be happy. <3

  • Thanks for sharing… it’s an amazing post.

  • Thank you for a wonderful post. This has helped in my life to let go of so much hurt from my husband and just move on. We have a 7 month old baby girl but I just felt overwhelmed thinking about his mistakes, my lack of strength and my daughters future. You guys are amazing for caring and sharing happiness.

  • This it’s just I needed to read to pat myself in the back as a sign that I’m on the right path. I can also pass it on to so many people out there who just need a little positive reinforcement or inspiration. This is wonderful and so powerful… Amazing.

  • awesome… just what i needed to hear… encouraging words

  • I’m in same place as Mira. I know he’s not right for me, and he told me himself that he loves me but is not in love with me. I’m one of his only friends so he still wants to be part of my life. When I met him 11 months ago I just got divorced and was going through cancer. I think i was at lowest point in my life, and his treatment of me was manipulative, disguised as spirituality, and in the end has killed my self esteem. We planned a future together… I was his eternal partner. Now he says he wasn’t in love with me. My heart is crushed. I can’t stop thinking about him. I know I have to take the advice from this post, but I miss him so much.

    Thanks for letting me vent! I will keep rereading this post. And the comments really help too! It helps to know you’re not the only one going through this.

  • I came across your site accidentally two months back. Ever since I have been a regular . I have subscribed to your daily email updates. Best thing about those emails are they always come with the right message for the moment. Like yesterday i was feeling really depressed over my ex boyfriend after seeing his picture on FB with a new woman and then on checking my mail I saw the mail with message ‘10 Signs it’s Time to Let Go. I felt really better after reading it. Thanks a lot for being there. You guys are doing really marvelous job.

  • Thank you for this article!
    I was constantly wondering whether I should be in this relationship I am currently in or should I let it go.
    My situation is best explained by #2,3,5,6,7,9,10
    All these days I tried to make up my mind and stick to my relationship thinking things will be OK soon and I should stick because I love this person.
    But A part of my mind kept me reminding YOU ARE NOT HAPPY.

    And now I know what I should do.
    I truly feel that that’s what I should do.
    Thank you :)

  • This was so beautiful and it was literally, i think, a sign from the heavens. I just finished praying my rosary.

    I just ended it with my boyfriend on Saturday and it was because of all these reasons. I wasn’t sure about my choice and slowly i was feeling like I made the wrong one, but reading this gave me all the assurance I needed!
    This definitely will keep me moving forward for what I truly deserve and need in my life. Thank you!

  • I have been struggling through the process of emptying my parent’s house after they both passed recently. This post helps me realize that at this point there is nothing left to “fix” other than my perspective on our relationship and what was left unsaid will always remain that way. Time to let go.

    Thank you, for this and all your other thought-provoking and inspiring posts. Thank you for sharing your insight in such a caring, accessible and inclusive manner. Thank you.

  • Why didn’t l bump into this site when l was going through my last relationship. Wow so insightful and very true. And those moments l made a fool of myself trying to make him see that l loved him. I can only laugh at myself but l have learned from my mistake and l believe the best is yet to come. Thank you for the blog.

  • I like the point about It’s better to be alone with dignity than staying in a relationship and sacrificing your happiness and self respect.

    This is what several women I know have done after many years in loveless marriages. They have taken what I think is a brave step, in starting a new life alone, but only after their children had grown up and left home.

    Their friends thought they were happy and content housewives, but it was a charade. Deep inside they were miserable and frustrated.
    They thought though it was their duty to keep the family unit intact while the children were growing up.

    I have seen one of them recently, the change in her whole outlook on life is amazing!

  • Thank you for this post! I am still in grieving mode but I have come to terms with the fact that this guy ‘Johnny’ doesn’t like me back. I have accepted that he will never call me, text me, ask me to hang out with him and actually follow through, or make the effort for me to be in his life. I am glad I’ve come to terms with this because holding on only makes my own spirit rot.

  • This is a good post but requires some further explanation.

    Physical attraction (sometimes the journey starts here), partners having expectations about each other, a little bit of mistrust, not keeping promises sometimes, overlooking partner’s worth are all what makes us humans. I am yet to find anyone with these ideal qualities. A relationship devoid of a hint of any these is ideal and tantalizing.

    Even though something as wonderful as this exists, it will make the partners complacent and as the human nature is, complacence permits us to screw up and we are back to square one.

    The point is: relationships can work despite these issues are just bumps on the road not walls that stop the journey.

  • Indeed, staying with one who does not respect you is to surrender your very soul. The recovery is painfully slow. This should be required reading for every high school student. AMEN!

  • 3 and 6 wow! Totally my situation. Reading all these articles are helping me understand and making me see things I didn’t (or chose not to) see before. Just need the strength to finally end it, though it’s gonna hurt me a lot.

  • Wow… Reading these just helped me let go of all my feelings with my ex. Thank you so much. I felt so close to her when things just fell apart and I was left heartbroken.

  • Hi Marc,

    Thank you for the article, really enlightened me. I am so confused right now about a relationship, but now I know what I have to do.

    Thank you.

  • I liked the “Living below your means” statement ..Many of us get caught up with keeping up with the Jones’s. Then if we lose our job or our income is lessened the first ones to ignore and dump us will be the “Jones’s..” Live your OWN life and never ever envy anyone… Because you just might get what the have.

  • So, I got a perfect score - 10 out of 10. It’s time to let it go. Even if it’s the week before Christmas and this means I’ll be spending it alone, at least I’ll be at peace.

  • Now i realize that it not necessary to force yourself onto someone who doesn’t know your worth. I know it is good to let go people like that… thanks to you Marc and Angel for the article.

  • I do wonder how I’m getting through this. Getting over him is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do - and I’ve done some hard stuff. I know it’s necessary. He fit 8 of the 10 on the list. I wanted him. He wanted revenge against someone else. I was the pawn. I can’t believe how bad it hurts. Letting go a little more everyday. Remembering I deserve so much better. And the sooner I let go, the sooner what I deserve will be here.

  • Seriously, I love your blogs. They really inspire me!

  • I really needed to read this. A few months ago I had to let go of a my “best” friend. He is not easily replaceable however, I felt that I had to speak up for myself (or rather email up for myself). My feelings and thoughts were dismissed as “my issues” which left me dumbfounded as I have always been there for him. That’s where #3 and #7 are fitting. They are just more reinforcement that the relationship HAD already disolved. I was holding on to the past. I do feel better about taking the chance of speaking up for myself even though the outcome was not what I had hoped for.
    Thanks guys!

  • Thank you for this and for taking the time to write it. Not only did it give me something to think about it, it felt soothing at just the right time.

  • This post was filled with the amazing words I have been looking for to inspire my heart.

  • I just needed this.
    thank you, this article is a big help

  • Good article. While I am not in a relationship, these points mentioned above have applied in other areas. One of the things that I have learned in life is that when you are connected to people who have come to just depend on you for things you do for them and nothing more, just about every point mentioned above applies. If you are always making yourself available to people, always saying YES, then they will not value you as a person, nor respect you. That is why it is important to say no probably more often than yes, when you have relationships where people only depend on you, whether it be work, at church, or a favor for a neighbor or a friend. If you limit how much you make yourself available for favors, you can find out how and where you fit in this person’s life, if at all.

  • This has put a stop to my sleepless nights. Soothing I must say.

  • Thank you so much Marc for these inspiring ideas :)

  • Wow!! Such a kind words felt so relaxed after reading this..Thank u soo much!! :)

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