post written by: Marc Chernoff

11 Things You Should Leave in the Past

11 Things You Should Leave in the Past

You might not be proud of all the things you’ve done in the past, but that’s okay.  The past is not today.

Here are 11 things to leave behind and grow beyond:

  1. Letting other people write your life’s story. – You could spend your whole life worrying about what other people think of you, or what they want for you, but it won’t get you very far.  If you don’t take charge and design your own life plan, chances are you’ll fall into someone else’s plan.  And guess what they have planned for you?  NOT MUCH!  Read The Last Lecture.
  2. The fear of making mistakes. – Past mistakes should teach you to create a wonderful future; not cause you to be afraid of it.  Be less afraid of making a mess out of your life.  For oftentimes, our greatest achievements and our most beautiful creations ascend from the emotions we live, the lessons we learn, and the messes we make along the way.  Just ask a poet, an artist, a songwriter, a lover, or a parent; in the long-run things rarely turn out as planned, just better than you ever imagined.
  3. The belief that ‘perfect’ means the same thing to everyone. – Perfect people have scars on their faces and perfect complexions.  Perfect people have long brown hair at 60 and short grey hair at 35.  Perfect people wear wigs.  Perfect people have sex with men, women, both, or no one at all.  Perfect people can barely see over the grocery store counter, and sometimes bump their heads at the top of doorways.  Perfect people have waistlines that are infinite in size and geometry.  Perfect people have skin tones as light as vanilla ice-cream and as rich dark chocolate.  Perfect people come from every corner of this beautiful planet and can be seen everywhere – even in the mirror.  Yeah!  That’s right!  Perfect is the way we are born.  Perfect is the way we are now.  Perfect is exclusively unique.  We are all perfect just the way we are.
  4. Negative thinking. – If there is one thing I am certain of, it’s that our thinking can get in the way of our happiness.  It is our thoughts that really dictate the way we feel, so why not choose thoughts that make you feel amazing?  The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.  You can choose to make the rest of your life the best of your life.
  5. Doing something just because others are. – Give yourself permission to immediately walk away from anything that gives you bad vibes.  There is no need to explain or make sense of it.  Just trust what you feel.  Don’t make a decision based solely on popularity.  Just because other people are doing it doesn’t mean it’s the best choice for you.  Read The Art of Non-Conformity.
  6. Not following your intuition. – One day your life will flash before your eyes; make sure it’s worth watching.  Stop and think about it.  Really think about it.  What is it that you really want to do with your life?  Forget what you think you should do.  What excites you?  What feels impossible?  Be honest with yourself.  Your answers don’t need to make an impression on anyone but you.
  7. Procrastinating on your goals and passions. – The difference between who you are and who you want to be, is what you do.  Yes, it will hurt.  It will take time.  It will require dedication.  It will require willpower.  You will need to make healthy decisions.  It will require sacrifice.  You will need to push your mind and body to its max.  There will be temptation.  But, I promise you, when you reach your goal, it will be worth it.  And remember, nothing you have passion for is ever a waste of time, no matter how it turns out.
  8. The belief that failure is the opposite of success. – Failure is not the opposite of success, it is part of success.  Failure becomes success when we learn from it.  If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.  Instead of looking at what’s missing, and how far you still have to go, focus on what’s present, and how far you have come.  Read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
  9. Showing a lack of respect. – Sometimes you have to respect another person’s feelings even if they don’t mean anything to you, because your gesture could mean everything to them.  And remember, what goes around comes around in the world.  You get respect when you give respect.  So treat everyone with kindness and respect, even those who are rude to you – not because they are nice, but because you are.
  10. People who want you to be someone else. – Sometimes we grow strong when someone sets us free, and sometimes we grow even stronger when we let someone go.  Remember, you are too fabulous to fit in.  It is better to be hated for what you are than loved for what you are not.  Never change who you are.  Be yourself.  People will love you for it, and if they don’t, let them go.
  11. People who are already gone. – There are no failed relationships, because every person in your life has a lesson to teach.  Sometimes you simply outgrow people.  Don’t try to fix the unfixable, just accept it and move on.  When someone leaves you, it’s important to emotionally release them.  And know it’s not an ending – it’s a new beginning.  It just means that their part in your story is over.  Your story will go on.

Photo by: Swetlana Hasenjager

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  • I love the first two in this list. Enjoying the journey of life! Thank you, Angel and Marc, for putting life into such eloquent words. I ♥ every single blog post!

  • AMEN to number 3! Thanks so much for telling it straight. I feel just a little more perfect now than I did before reading this. =)

  • Your blog is like my new religion for positivity and inspiration :) Thank you for your everyday guidance…

  • True. I agree with every point here. Great reminders.

  • It just seems like whenever I have trouble moments, your post just appears to be the perfect one tht fits into my situation. I am truly thankful to both of you and I still could not figure out how I ended up searching this website about a year ago. Thank You Marc and Angel! You are absolutely an awesome pair of souls!

  • Your blog is amazing .. I really enjoy reading the articles…It’s very inspirational..
    In this post,I liked the Number #11
    Great work…

  • #11 !!!!

    Thank you so much. It’s what I needed today

  • #3 and #11 are my favorites today. But every point you make here is wonderful and beautifully said.

  • So many people live in the past or are waiting for something to happen so thay can start “really” living in the future. NOW is all we have! Start living.

  • I needed this. What a way to start the week…Happy Monday! :-D

  • Your bi-weekly blog posts are the positive fuel to my fire (:

  • Marc And Angel—You All Should Be The Leaders Of
    Our Country And I’m Very Serious About This!!!!!!

  • AMEN to #3, #7 and #11!
    This is the ignition to a fueled week ahead! :) Thank you Marc and Angel!

  • Just what i need, pls keep it coming.

  • Once again such words of wisdom … love reading your blog.

  • you know no 6 really got me thinking.. am a victim of that. that number 6 is going to change a lot about me. thanks for the great insight.

  • I feel happy each time I read your blogs cause they give me hope.

  • I always feel inspired and more sure of myself after reading your posts. Thank you for another great post.

  • It’s incredible to me that just about every time a new post is made here that speaks directly to internal struggles that I don’t speak of to anyone currently.

    While I have no contact with a recent ex, there are times that they pop up in my mind and feelings of resentment, anger consume my brain for a moment.

    Then it switches to, ” Why haven’t they talked to me?” and then I remember I’ve separated myself from them after they left me for my own sake and also remember that I’ve done a wonderful job not contacting them because its helping me to focus on what’s important…moving on.

    Number 11 really speaks to me quite a bit. I felt like I found the perfect person for me only for them to leave me, feeling as if I’ll never find someone else and I’ll just focus on money and career and be happy with that. I know now that part of my feelings of resentment is that I’m still holding on to what happened.

    Its really hard to let it go but I know that with all the other improvements in my life, I have let go of that last piece of heartbreak from this person and move forward.

  • Right on! Of course all of them are great, but number one is my favorite! I will be back to learn more from you!

  • Spot on, as usual.

  • Your number three reminds of my goal of perfection: It’s not when everything is going right, but when I accept that nothing is ever going to be perfect. And I’m still going to find my purpose and master it, because that’s why we are here. (Hey, that’s number 6! You’re good, Marc.)

  • Great post.
    I agree with we create our life, no one else.
    Many time before I afraid my fails, think more about them. But in fact them make myself down. Then I change my mind and ignore my fails and accept them as my experience.
    Many people want become perfect in short time, but things we need do as progress in our process growth.
    And negative thing only keep we stay with problems. In fact there are many things that we can do to change our results. Let think about solution and keep positive think.
    And more thing that I want mean agree with your post.
    Thank you

  • Dear Marc and Angel you both are doing great work for the society.

    amazing site . I am all in for it. thank you so much you have been doing a great work. I am following you regularly , I will also post some of your stories in my blog with credits to you.

    Thanks . please be member of Hrudayam . you can post your soulful posts there.

    thank you so much once again.


  • Life will continue to empower you. I cannot thank you enough for this great post. Remain blessed.

  • Another great list, and these are things more people should try to remember the past is the past, put it behind you and move on.

  • I’d be so lost without your blog. Thank you :)

  • There are many things that I would like to leave in the past, but Jaqi you’re NOT one of them. Sigh…

  • Such simple, yet profound advice is this post. A perfect compliment to your previous post of tough truths.

  • #9 today, I really needed that. Sometimes a good reminder is what we need :) thanks alot

  • I am officially addicted to reading your posts. I really love this list and I enjoyed reading it. I would say #’s 1,2, 7, 10, and 11 are the situations I definitely need to work on. Again, thank you for making this list.

  • Thanks for being a positive influence to those all around the world. Loved this one.

  • #9 for me. It can be hard sometimes to give respect to someone when they aren’t acting like they deserve it.

    I was reading “Autobiography of a Yogi” the other day and one of the gurus said something along the lines of “the temple of the lord dwells equally in every one of us.” I’m going to try and internalize that now.

  • I love you guys. The whole article is just another masterpiece of Marc and Angel, but the last two points are superb!

  • Thanks for your article, I love it so much.

  • This post never gets old to me.

    It reminds me that no relationship is a waste of time. It’s something that takes a while to take in but–is so detrimental in moving forward from a failed one.

    In retrospect, I realize that while my last relationship didn’t work out–I learned that Iwill be loved again, despite how you feel after having your heart broken. They also taught me to know my worth and that my life was (is) worth living.

    Leave all the negativity in the past and move forward. It’s hard but its definitely worth it!

  • Most importantly… to me is number 11. With 7 billion people in this world, you can replace friends. I learnt this the hard way and hated letting go!

    Now if they don’t want to be friends with me… GOODBYE!

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