post written by: Marc Chernoff
11 Things You Forget You’re Doing Wrong
Don’t forget, when you stop doing the wrong things, the right things eventually catch you.
So make sure you’re not…
- Making blind judgments. – Don’t always judge a person by what they show you. What you’ve seen is oftentimes only what that person has chosen to show you, or what they were driven to show based on their inner stress and pain. Too often we jump to conclusions, only to cause ourselves and others unnecessary worry, hurt, and anger. So exercise restraint, be kind, and save the jumping for joy.
- Expecting people to be perfect. – When you open up to love, you must be open up to getting hurt as well. If you expect to love someone, and not have disappointment every now and then, then you don’t want love, you want something perfect that doesn’t exist. When you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can start appreciating them for who they truly are. Read The 5 Love Languages.
- Focusing on everything and everyone except YOU. – Make the world a better place one person at a time, and start with YOU. If you’re looking out into the world to find where your purpose resides, stop, and look inside instead. Look at who you already are, the lifestyle you choose to live, and what makes you come alive. Then nurture these things and let them grow until your current life can no longer contain them. And finally, as you’re being forced to grow, follow them into the world with courage, trusting that where they will take you will be where your purpose finds its home.
- Holding on to the wrong things for too long. – To let go isn’t to forget. Letting go involves cherishing the memories, overcoming the obstacles, and moving on. To let go is to be thankful for the experiences that made you laugh, made you cry, and helped you learn and grow. It’s the acceptance of everything you have, everything you once had, and the possibilities that lie ahead. It’s all about finding the strength to embrace life’s changes and continue taking positive steps forward.
- Denying your mistakes. – Mistakes are almost always forgivable if you have the courage to admit them. You have to be courageous and wise enough to know that if what you are doing isn’t producing the desired results, you must take different actions. Sometimes falling flat on your face is exactly what’s needed to help you see things from a totally different perspective, and get back on track. Read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
- Avoiding your fears. – Go to your fears, sit with them, and stare at them. Your fears are your friend; their only job is to show you undeveloped parts of yourself that you need to cultivate to live a happy life. The more you do the things you’re most afraid of doing, the more life opens up. Embrace your fears and your fears will embrace you.
- Accepting less than you know you deserve. – Do not sacrifice your heart or your dignity. Love yourself enough to never lower your standards for the wrong reasons. Do not get so anxious for something that you’ll accept anything. Hold to your standards and be willing to walk away, with your head held high.
- Storing mental clutter. – Just as you don’t move from one home to another without first sorting through what you’ve gathered over the years, throwing away what is broken and no longer useful, so too should you do the same with what you’ve mentally gathered, before you move on. Do some sorting, throw away regrets and old pains, and take only the treasures worth keeping: The lessons, the love, and the best of what you’ve lived.
- Worrying about things that can’t be changed. – One of the happiest moments ever is when you feel the courage to let go of what you can’t change. Refuse to ruin a perfectly good today by thinking about a bad yesterday. The past cannot be changed, forgotten, or erased. However, the lessons learned can prepare you for a brighter tomorrow. Read The Power of Now.
- Letting hope gradually slip away. – Every mistake, breakup, and setback in life is an opportunity to do it better next time. So keep your head held high. We can live without a lot of things, but hope isn’t one of them. Cultivate hope by latching onto stories of triumph, and words that inspire. But most of all, listen to the quiet whisper of your inner strength when it tells you that this is only temporary, and that you will get through this stronger than you were before.
- Thinking it’s too late. – Whether you know it or not the rest of your life is being shaped right now. You can choose to blame your circumstances on fate or bad luck or bad choices, or you can fight back. Things aren’t always going to be fair in the real world; that’s just the way it is. But for the most part you get what you give. The rest of your life is being shaped by the goals you chase, the choices you make, and the actions you take. The rest of your life is a long time, and it starts right now.
Photo by: Robert Fornal