post written by: Marc Chernoff
9 Reasons You’re Stuck Where You Are
Life is change; it is forever moving. Staying stuck is a choice.
For it is a choice, not a chance, that determines your destiny. The road may be long, but it’s wide open. As Lao Tzu once said, “The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.” If you don’t like the way your life is at the moment, you have the choice to change it. Actually, you owe it to yourself to change it. But you can only shift your current situation one small step at a time.
In other words, to get through even the most difficult times and circumstances you need to take baby steps, and you must keep on stepping.
So if you feel stuck right now, it means you aren’t stepping. And it’s probably because…
- You haven’t taken responsibility for your circumstances. – Too many people have a habit of blaming their circumstances or mistakes on bad fate or bad luck. Too few will admit that their situation is a direct outcome of the choices they’ve made. In life, this is the foundation you need to correct in order to grow. You must accept your current situation, take responsibility for it, learn from it, make the necessary changes, and move forward. Read The Road Less Traveled.
- You’ve given in to your fears. – If you’re doing big things and pushing for your dreams, you are bound to encounter situations that scare you and make you feel uncomfortable. So what. Move forward with gusto. Remember that the extent to which we sometimes allow fear to rule our lives is truly startling and unnecessary. Especially when you consider one very important fact about fear: It’s a total figment of your imagination.
- You continue to ignore your calling. – What you seek, whether you realize it or not, is the actual feeling of being ALIVE and LIVING your life your own way. You don’t have to satisfy everyone else. You just have to find something to believe in – something that anchors you and keeps you looking forward, regardless of what others are doing or saying. For it is better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of somebody else’s life with perfection.
- You’ve become accustomed to negativity. – It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see. The biggest wall you must climb is the one you have built in your mind. If you don’t control your attitude, then it will control you. Negative feelings are like weeds; if you don’t fully extract their roots, they will keep coming back. So take control of your destiny. Believe in yourself. Ignore those who try to discourage you. Avoid negative people, places, things, and habits. Don’t give up, and don’t give in to consuming the garbage these negative sources are trying to feed you. Read The How of Happiness.
- You don’t appreciate what you have. – Pause for a moment. Breathe in slowly and deeply. Exhale. Feel the miracle of your breath. And say, “Thank you.” You probably woke up with a few aches and pains this morning, but you woke up. You’ve seen better days, but you’ve also seen worse. You might not have everything you want right now, but you have everything you need to move forward. Life isn’t perfect, but it sure is good.
- You keep worrying about a time that no longer exists. – You can’t have a better today if you’re still thinking and worrying about yesterday. Whatever could have been or should have been, doesn’t matter. This moment is here and now for you to live. It’s okay to not have all the answers yet. In fact, you’ll never have ALL the answers. Just continue the journey, focus on the present, do you best, and trust the process.
- You keep looking for happiness outside yourself. – Enlightenment is not the accumulation of knowledge; it is the full realization of who you already are. True wealth has nothing to do with material possessions; it is the surrender to an abundance that has no limit. What you seek is not somewhere else at some other time; what you seek is here and now, within you. The more you look for it outside yourself, the more it hides from you. Relax, remember the source of your deepest desires, and allow yourself to know their fulfillment.
- You’re still looking for the easy road. – Someday you will look back on your life and realize that everything worthwhile you’ve ever accomplished initially challenged you. And that is as it should be, because big challenges often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary success. Every struggle arises for a reason – for experience or a lesson. A great journey is never easy, and no dose of adversity along the way is ever a waste of time if you learn and grow from it. Read The Last Lecture.
- You need to let go and move on. – Sometimes being strong and moving on are the only choices you have. There are some things in life that you may never completely get over. The best you may be able to do is get through them slowly. But that’s okay. The struggle forward is worth the effort. There’s still a lot of beauty left to be seen on the road ahead.
Photo by: Kevin Dooley