post written by: Angel Chernoff

5 Things to Stop Doing and Start Doing for Yourself


5 Things to Stop Doing and Start Doing for Yourself

When you stop doing the wrong things and start doing the right things, almost anything you want and everything you need comes within reach.

Which means it’s time to…

5 Things to Stop Doing

1.  Stop stalling and being lazy.

You can’t build a good reputation or a successful way of life based on what you could do or might do someday.  The quality of your life is in direct proportion to your commitment to get things done, regardless of your chosen path.

So don’t sit there and say, “Somebody should really do something about that someday.”  Be that somebody, and make today the day.  Read Eat That Frog!

2.  Stop neglecting your self-control.

Nobody ever wrote down a plan to be broke, lazy, out of shape, uneducated, etc.  These things happen when you lose your self-control.

Showing a lack of self-control is in the same vein granting authority to others: “Perhaps I need someone else to help control me.”  And if you’re lucky enough to have good friends and family, they might try.  But the truth is no one is going to look out for you every second.  No one is going to follow you around and say, “Don’t buy that, get off the couch, take a jog, go to the library, etc.”

You, and YOU ALONE, must make the choice between what is right and what is easy in your life.

3.  Stop looking outside yourself.

The problem is that when you think you have to LOOK for things in life like love, meaning, and inspiration, the LOOKING implies that these things are somehow hiding behind some bushes somewhere, just waiting to be discovered.  But that’s not the case.

In life you have to CREATE your own love, define your own meaning, and harbor your own inspiration.  This process starts on the inside, not somewhere else.  Much of this can be accomplished simply by staying true to your values, pursuing your passions, learning more today than you knew yesterday, and helping others smile as you go.

4.  Stop letting negative people drain you.

You might think being alone makes you lonely, but that’s not entirely true.  Being surrounded by the wrong people is the loneliest place in the world.

Before you diagnose yourself as an unhappy person, first be sure that you are not simply surrounded by negative people constantly trying to bring you down to their level.  Read Emotional Vampires.

5.  Stop belittling your efforts and your progress.

Appreciate where you are now and keep fighting for where you want to be tomorrow.  You are not a failure until you give up on yourself.  Keep going!

Hard times may hold you down for awhile but they will not last forever, and when all is said and done, you will be able to stand even taller than those who didn’t earn it.

Seriously, you may not be where you want to be yet, but look how far you’ve come.  Be thankful that you’re not where you used to be.  If you have no other testimony right now, you have this one: “I’m still here trying.”

5 Things to Start Doing

1.  Start living.

Don’t simply exist in this world, grab life’s full potential by the horns and ride it out.  Dare life to be all it can be.  Make it a memorable, gripping account of accomplishment.  Make it a thrilling, challenging, bold adventure.  Make life a passionate, enduring, poetic romance.

Whatever it is you decide to do with your life, LIVE it!  Get going!  Move forward, aim high, plan your takeoff.  Don’t just sit on the runway.  Adjust your attitude and gain some altitude.  Read 1,000 Little Things.

2.  Start taking chances that feel right.

Life will try to break you sometimes; nothing and no one can completely protect you from it.  Remaining alone in your comfort zone won’t either, for endless, stagnant solitude will also break you with yearning.

You’re human.  You have to love.  You have to feel.  You have to strive.  You are here to risk your heart by putting it into something you believe in.  If you avoid taking these chances, one thing is certain, you will make is safely to death someday, feeling empty and unfulfilled.

3.  Start indulging in meaningful challenges.

What a true blessing it is that there is always work to be done.  Because the real value of any accomplishment is not in the end result, it is in the process of accomplishment.

Success is a state of mind, and the most reliable way to reach that state is by working mindfully through a meaningful challenge.  Such a challenge might seem somewhat overwhelming when you first encounter it, yet as you progress through it, you transform the work from overwhelming to fulfilling.  Read The 4-Hour Workweek.

4.  Start nurturing your real family.

Family is built with love; it’s not determined by marriage certificates, divorce papers, and formal adoption documents.  Families grow from the heart, through mutual love and respect.  The only time family becomes nullified is when the ties in the heart are cut.  If you cut the ties, these people are not your family.  If you build the ties, these people are your family.  So build ties with the right people and nurture them with love.

5.  Start making time for YOU.

There is objective time meant for focused work, but also subjective time where the pulse of your life breathes – your relationships, your awareness, your hobbies, etc.

So find the time – the time to read, to smell the flowers, to take a walk in the wilderness, to share a laugh, to learn a fun craft, to try a new recipe, to explore somewhere new, to really be with someone you love, to paint your dreams, or even to just do nothing and relax for a while.

Find time for YOU.

Photo by: Trey Ratcliff

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36 Comments

  • Amazing, amazing, amazing! This is such a great read. There’s a lot to think about and paths to consider here. All of it is good food for thought. Thanks for putting this up. If they could be summarized, every single point would make a great bumper sticker.

  • A very powerful post. Great reminders of how we often live as we think we should rather than how we really wish to live our lives. It can take courage to take those first steps but when we do, life is suddenly filled with freedom and choices.

    Thanks for the beautiful thoughts.

  • A few of your points smacked me right in the face.

    Thank you? Yes, thank you! :)

  • Why do I get the feeling that you wrote it especially for me? Are you guys stalking me or something for the last couple of days? ;)

    Seriously though, wonderful post. Everything rings with the truth! Thank you so much. :)

  • Powerful, powerful, powerful beyond words!! This spoke to my deepest core.
    Thank you Marc & Angel.

  • This advice is gold. We are always our own worst enemies — we do the things that harm us and neglect the things that heal us.

    Fulfilling our potential requires trying something new, taking a chance, making the most of the opportunity life has presented us with.

    To truly live, we must stop doing the things that hold us back and start doing the ones that will push us forward.

    Cheers!

  • This post is very helpful and the tips can be applied in day-to-day life. I am a regular reader of all posts from this blog. I am very thankful to the authors for posting such simple yet helpful tips on life skills.

  • I’m really grateful to you for all the great lessons of life I learn from your posts every day. Bless you & thank you again.

  • Gold as always!!

  • Inspiring. Thank you very much for this wonderful message.

  • Mind-blowing post again!

    Luv u Marc n Angel. You are definitely making our lives better step by step.

  • Great post that has touched my soul. This is article is relevant to where I am at right now, and it provides the added push I need. Thank you!

  • Simply beautiful, beautiful and beautiful. This touched my heart in such a deep way. How come you always send the right message when I need it :)

    I lost self control and told my previous landlord how I felt about her, it wasn’t pretty. I decided today to drop off a letter apologizing for my behaviour towards her and felt a freeness, which is a good feeling.

  • Allright, this’ll sound pretty lame, dudes. My wife and I go back and forth with deciding which movies to watch. A few weeks ago she picked “Where the heart is” and we both watched it. If you don’t know the movie, it’s a chick flick. A big, fat, ol’ chick flick without a doubt. Don’t laugh, but, it wasn’t quite as bad as I thought it would be.

    One of your nubmers up there, “Start nurturing your real family” reminds me of that movie. The people that end up hanging out and helping each other out in that movie aren’t related at all. They just treat eachother well and help eachother out, and that’s the best family of all. Nurture that, like you guys say.

  • I’ve been stuck lately, blaming numerous factors but all the while knowing I had to pull it together. Your words today gave me the direction I needed. Thank you!

  • Simply Amazing Words!

  • Thank you both for all that you do! I see the all the comments and you are truly inspiring and helping so many of us. You give us hope and you are making a difference! Many thanks!

  • Wonderful advice! I will quote you on my blog. :)

  • I love these lists! Powerful!

  • I love you guys… in a non-sexual way of course ;-)

  • I like this list. For me, the second one is better. When I start doing things that I choose and I love to do, then I don’t have to worry about being lazy or my self control. When I feel better about myself those seem to take care of themselves, but if I beat myself up about what I’m not doing it only gets worse.
    Taking time for me is what that really makes a difference for me. :)

  • Great one! Is there a way to print your articles without getting all the ads and other stuff? There are some I would like to keep but it takes a lot of ink and paper to print as is.

  • Just amazing. I needed this extra motivation today. Thank you. :)

  • Thanks so much you two… I get so much from your lists. Always great encouragement.

  • I come to work every single day with inspired after reading one of your posts. What an Awesome way to prepare for the day. I get so so much out of your life changing words… Thank you so much.

  • Great Post! I’m new to your blog. But I love your passion for life. This is some great advice. Thanks.

    Chip

  • Thanks for your help. Very inspiring. Keep it up… :)

  • This gave me three great ideas for my upcoming month of self-growth. Thanks for the kick…

  • Another great read with so much passion and inspiration. You both rock.

  • To Linda Gebelein, when I want to keep a printed copy of an article, I copy it and paste into a Word doc, then remove all of the “extras” and set the font to the size I want, then print!

    To Marc and Angel - I so love this post…as many of the others have commented - I feel like you write exactly what I need to hear most, at the precise time I need it!

    Thank you for all that you do to lift us up!

  • @Kama: You are absolutely right!

    @Connie: Good for you for taking responsibility. We’re all guilty of letting our emotions get the best of us every now and then. But very few admit when their wrong. I am sure your landlord appreciated it.

    @TB and BlueCollarWorkman: So you would say there was a valuable message in that “ol’ chick flick”? ;)

    @Donna: I am glad we could help. Keep pushing forward.

    @Michelle: If you do not love yourself, you’re not much good to anyone else. Taking time for you is a great starting point!

    @Linda: You can copy and paste the text into Word.

    @All: Thank you for your encouraging words. You motivate and inspire me everyday! Keep them coming…

  • @ Angel , I owe you one “just” for this.

    You can’t build a good reputation or a successful way of life based on what you could do or might do someday.

    You have no idea how important this is for me… I have some belief system, anti-reality mindset.

  • Angel, Great post. I really like it - “5 Things to Stop Doing… “and they’re all so meaningful. I have a personal development blog / website myself and very often I find myself sharing with people what they should be doing. Sometimes sharing with people what they should not be doing is equally important and potent.

    I want this to be my greatest year so far, I will definitely “stop doing” 2,3,5 and really really really “start doing” 1.

    Thanks for this.

  • Simply wonderful. Your words make my world more interesting and my marriage enjoyable.

  • I needed this right now, thank you so much.

  • If I dont thank you for this inspirational list of 5 Do’s & 5 Dont’s, I will do something unfair. I am gonna bookmark it for future use. I will use this as my personal manual. Thanks again. Happy New Year 2014, by the way :)

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