post written by: Angel Chernoff

7 Reasons You Struggle with Happiness


7 Reasons You Struggle with Happiness

“Happiness is when what you think, what you say,
and what you do are in harmony.”
―Mahatma Gandhi

It’s important to make someone happy, and it’s important to start with yourself.  But before your level of contentment can improve, your choices and actions must improve.

If you’ve been struggling to find happiness there’s a good chance…

1.  You let envy get the best of you.

When you feel envious, tell yourself not to feel envious.  Be blatant and direct.  Tell the ‘why not me?’ voice in your head to quiet down and tell the ‘don’t be silly’ voice to speak up.  It really is this simple.  You actually prevent envy by addressing it directly and stopping it dead in its tracks.

When you feel flustered because someone has received the very thing you want, force yourself to remember how much you have already been given.  Remember that there’s plenty for everyone, and that everyone gets one dose at a time.  Remember that what happened to someone else has absolutely no bearing on what happens to you.  Your success is unique to you.  Remember that a wonderful thing has happened to this other person, and if you keep working and pushing forward, something wonderful will also happen to you at just the right time.

2.  You don’t DO enough.

A significant majority of your anxiety and unhappiness likely stems from a subconscious disappointment in yourself for the great ideas and dreams that have been forever abandoned in your mind.

Although you will sometimes regret the things you carelessly say and do without thinking, you will never regret these things as much as the words and deeds you leave unspoken and undone.

Positive growth only occurs when you stretch yourself.  What you think has to affect what you say and do.  So say what you need to say and do what you need to do, starting now.  Read 1,000 Little Things.

3.  You’ve let too many problems fester.

Unresolved problems can quickly suck the life out of you.  Yet when you resolve just one small problem, you immediately inject a powerful dose of positive energy into everything else you’re involved in.

Instead of burdening yourself with problems, let them to inspire you to make changes.  Instead of wasting your energy worrying, invest your energy in doing.  Think about the soothing feeling you get when you finally take care of a something that has needed your attention.  This feeling is liberating, and it’s yours for the taking.  Allow yourself to experience it by finally getting a problem you’ve been avoiding resolved.

Sure, some problems facing you may take a fair amount of time to resolve, but the steps for doing so are still small and manageable.  It’s just a matter of starting.

4.  You hold all your feelings hostage.

Anything that’s true in your mind – feelings, fears, etc. – is mentionable to a good friend, and anything that’s mentionable can be more manageable.  When you can talk about how you feel, your thoughts become less overwhelming and scary, and more understood.  The good friends you trust with these important talks ultimately help you realize that you’re not alone in this world.

Sometimes sitting quietly and listening to a friend with a focused, humble ear is the beginning of a healing journey.  At other times, this journey begins when you allow a friend to listen to you.

5.  You’ve been ignoring an inner calling.

Passion is a funny thing.  No matter how hard you try, you can’t block your inner spirit from the ideas that move you at your core.  Trying to do so is an exercise in futility.  It’s like tearing your mind and heart away from each other and expecting to feel healthy inside.

Honestly, when it comes to your passions you just have to go for it.  Don’t get lost in apprehension.  Give yourself a chance.  Don’t be afraid to jump if the path in front of you indicates that one is necessary.  You can’t safely cross a chasm with a hesitant step.  Take the leap and go find the place that you’re wishing for.  Read The 52-Week Life Passion Project.

6.  Your relationships lack an honest, mutual understanding.

Love is the feeling you have for those you hold in high regard.  It can be as light as the quick hug you give a friend or as heavy as the sacrifices you make for your family.  Regardless of the type of love you’re dealing with, your primary obligation is to be open and honest – to express the nature of your feelings when such expression would be meaningful.

Love is not inherently burdened with stressful promises and obligations either.  The terms you agree to in any loving relationship are defined by what you desire to put into it.  In other words, the things you do should be done because you care and because you want to do them.

You get to define the boundaries of your love and your relationships.  You get to negotiate and articulate the complexities and contradictions of your feelings and expectations openly and honestly.  It’s simply a matter of communicating.

7.  You choose to be negative.

Whenever you find yourself falling short on temper and grim with words, whenever you feel yourself slipping into a damp, drizzly November rain in your mind, it’s time to catch yourself before you fall flat on your face.  Pull yourself away from the thoughts that make you feel bad – the ones that add zero value to your growth; see how doing so changes your life.  You don’t need these negative thoughts; all they have ever given you is a false self that suffers for no reason.

Have patience.  Instead of harsh criticism, offer genuinely helpful feedback to both yourself and others.  Forgive early and forgive often.  Set yourself free from the burden of resentment and move quickly beyond the pain.  Learn from your regrets, but do not punish yourself with them.  Live beyond the petty, fleeting concerns and focus on the profound possibilities that await your attention.  Read Learned Optimism.

Your turn…

What would you add to the list?  What struggles have been stealing your happiness?  Leave a comment below and let us know.

Photo by: Seite 3

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65 Comments

  • “Mentionable can be more manageable” - that’s a great line. And as always, an inspiring, insightful read.

    As for what I struggle with, right now it’s ‘communication’ all the way. I struggle with communicating my feelings to my wife, and sometimes that leads to unnecessary arguments and frustrations. This is something #4 reminded me of and for that I thank you - I intend to work on this.

  • I am guilty of #1 - all day, every day. It’s an unhappy habit and I know it.

    Thanks for this reminder. Honestly, that’s why I love your articles - they remind me of things I know, but often get too busy to pay any attention to. You’re slowly setting me straight, one inspiring article at a time. :)

  • Such an amazing post. You guys never fail to inspire me with your magical words.

  • “Unresolved problems can quickly suck the life out of you. Yet when you resolve just one small problem, you immediately inject a powerful dose of positive energy into everything else you’re involved in.”

    Also, a favorite:
    “No matter how hard you try, you can’t block your inner spirit from the ideas that move you at your core.”

    Too true…
    When I saw this post I thought it’d be a little cliche. Actually, very helpful advice. Our mind and spirit beg to be awoken. Thank you Marc and Angel.

  • Amazing post! Thanks a million!

  • Great thoughts in this post… communication is the key, to everything. Unfortunately we are not taught to label, understand and communicate our emotions effectively. In order to learn as we go along we have to unlearn a lot of bad emotional habits.

    Also, I think fear is the greatest stopper and stealer of happiness.

  • What I struggle with is giving myself a chance to experience more life. I get stuck in my comfort zone, unable to convince myself to try new things. Its something I’m working on, but it has stolen lots of potential happiness from me over the years.

  • Totally agree with the all the 7. And what is common to all is ME!

    The key to happiness is one self. It should not be a ‘Why me? Why me!’ drama but should be an ‘It’s me. It’s me!’ accountability.

    Blessings and happiness to everyone :)

  • Some people seem to live a life in the ‘Land of 7′, which I find odd. It’s such a change of perspective I simply can’t understand how they CAN inhabit that place comfortably. Then I realised that it is all about perspective and that they simply don’t see it that way.

    It might seem to be a choice (and, of course it is), but they don’t see it as a choice; nor seek it as a choice; yet are externally uncomfortable with what might be internally comfortable.

    If that makes sense.

    For those of us for whom such an attitude sucks our energy away, it’s WE who have the choice…

  • This is one of my favourite posts yet. Thank you for continuing to remind me to open my mind. There truly are endless possibilities in life for happiness. We must let the thoughts and events that are completely irrelevant and out of our control go… I always look forward to your blogs and inspiring outlook on life. You guys are amazing!

  • I have read your blogs and posts for over a year now and have never taken the opportunity to post a comment. I want to thank you for your inspiring words, they have literally been my light in a very dark time in my life. I save every word, re-read every article and remind myself often of the inspiration they bring me each time.

    I love your post today. I quickly reflected over the many articles that you have been shared over time and thought of one item that has been most helpful to me, and one that we often forget to do; love ourselves. I think we are afraid to think of needing to give ourselves love, not unlike what we share with others, for vanity’s sake, but have found self-love to be an important key in moving past many of the difficulties I have gone through in recent years.

    Thank you, thank you, Marc and Angel. You have helped me to learn so much about re-directing negative thoughts into positive ones that turned my darkness to sunshine.

  • Good morning. Its been a while since I’ve visited with your site. What a perfect day to visit. #4, 5, & 6. Expressing your true self, expressing your unique passion, & stomping out negative. I used to be really good at doing all of those things, but with self-discipline & practice, I’ll get those things back because I remember how it felt inside. If you try & it doesn’t turn out right you’ve got to try again. Every one of us has a different communication presentation style, & every one of us has a different way we hear what is said to us. We’ve got to be gentle & kind to everyone we talk to so we can hear or see if they understand & vice versa when we listen.

    I hope I make sense. My favorite thing is reading the community comments. We can all be alright if we stick together. Have a fabulous weekend.

  • Maintaining daily happiness for me is all about taking things one small step at a time. I try to take a large, seemingly overwhelmingly difficult task and break it down into more manageable tasks, and then each small success is a victory worth celebrating.

    I take care of my aging mother, and one of the hardest tasks is not getting her organized, but keeping her there. Rooms filled with 42+ years of memories in the home we grew up in become giant, daunting tasks to clean, organize and purge. I find that concentrating on one corner and working my way around the room to get the items in some semblance of order helps me to get through the tasks faster than if I walk in the room and look at the whole of it.

    The age old question: How do you eat an elephant? The answer: One bite at a time. Trying to work on the whole is best solved by the breaking down of the whole into workable pieces.

    Have a great day.

  • Hi,

    I would add that you either live too much in the past, or too much in your head.

    The past is the past, let it go. Forgive and move forward; otherwise, you’ll be stuck in the quick sand of your life.

    Get out of your head and stop making up for stories! Let’s face it; if you’re going to make up a story about your life, you may as create one that makes you happy.

    Also, stop worrying about what others say or think about you. Remember the words of Dr. Wayne Dyer, “What people think of me is none of my business.” People who talk usually have nothing to say; it’s idle chatter. Tune it out and know that you’re doing the best you can.

    Set an intention to be HAPPY and take action by doing something fun like coloring Easter eggs or picking up the trash when you go for a walk. It’s that simple and easy!

  • I read these messages everyday and draw inspiration to say, to do, and to act accordingly. Today I enjoyed the piece of love and how it is reserved for those we hold in high regard. Thanks for the constant inspiration.

    Montee

  • You never cease to amaze me with your insightfulness. It is quite apparent how much thought goes into each of the posts and I look forward to all of them.

  • Thanks as always Marc and Angel.

  • I often fear that if I’m too ‘happy’ - something bad will happen. This fear plagues my life - but not without reason.

  • Thank you Marc and Angel, I love this as I do all of your posts. I try not to envy others and if I find myself doing so I tell myself quickly that I am being selfish not to be happy for others. Usually the thoughts flee and I feel better. The only other thing I’ve learned that wasn’t mentioned is forgivness I am happier when I forgive others for things they do that hurt me. Hanging on to resentment and being unforgiving can really make for an unhappy life, just forgive them and that doesn’t mean you need forget if you forget you won’t learn but forgiving makes me happier.

    I love reading everything you write and you have helped me so much. Thanks again, Teresa

  • Ungratefulness — as I am grateful for what I have, I do sometimes ponder about and forget about all the wonderful things I have. Recently I have paved a new path for myself in which a journey of positive impulse shall surround my inner being, as well as my physical. If you forget about all the great things in life, big or small, your ultimate goal of happiness can never be reached. Not being happy is simply an ungrateful thought in your mind because you induce yourself with negative vibes and worries.

    I am guilty of this many times but unintentionally of course. Thank you so much for inspiring me everyday to feel positive which makes me feel better about myself.

  • This is again a wise article. My main problem has been grief that is difficult to resolve. Your articles, more than anything else, are helping me to get past this sad and depressing part of my life. Thank You.

  • #I love all of these..
    Confirmation to what I’ve already perceived.
    Your posts are always wonderful.
    Thank you :)

  • Since I have begun reading your posts I have made some major life changing decisions and have never felt better and I have never been happier. This one has inspired me to make a few more.

  • Every reason convicted me in some way. I realize how far I have to go to stop letting that negative spirit control my life. Thank you for insight. I must start by remembering your suggestions and go from there.

  • I would add a #8: You don’t think you deserve happiness.

    When we don’t realize our worth, we pass on any opportunity to fight for ourselves, and we remain stuck with the issues that weight us down. We need to wake up and say “hey, I am blessed, yes, but that doesn’t mean I don’t deserve better.”

  • Number 5 really touched my spirit. I’ve always wanted to be a motivational speaker but kept making excuses. Time and time again, life would point me back in the direction of being a speaker, son I embraced it. Best decision of my life.

  • Thank you, again and always, Marc and Angel.

    @michelle… thank you, too. You do make sense and it was lovely. The comments certainly add even more meaning to the messages.

  • I love the antidotes to envy that you present. I’m finding that being grateful for what I have stops envy (and a lot of other negative thoughts) in its tracks. Now I just need to remember to use gratitude all the time.

  • As always, your posts seem to come at the right time. I have been working on envy and judgement in my life. I realize that when I don’t fully use my own gifts, I tend to judge others more harshly, but really it is my own short comings rising up.

    Thanks again for another great dose of insight.

  • I woke up feeling unhappy this morning because of love troubles. Reading this definitly helped me to feel a lot better.

    I have a hard time with communication and keep things bottled up. I need to set myself free from resentment, learn from my regrets and not punish myself for them. Thank you so much for this reminder!! :)

    Your words definitely changed my day to be a better day!!

  • Amazing post, and beautifully presented. Great point about inner callings.

  • Feelings are just feelings. They are transient and also changeable. I’m not saying to ignore negative feelings- acknowledge them, but dont allow them to be incharge. Step back and reevaluate how you are interpreting a situation. Change your thoughts first. Feelings will follow.

  • I struggle with being able to give again. I have been considered so entirely worthless, “extra” and in the way for so long, that I deeply fear that whatever I have to give is either stupid and laughable or not enough.

    I also struggle with grieving. I want to grieve but I am sure that I have nothing to grieve about. To wallow in self-pity is yet another wasteful thing to do and it takes time away from being purposefully busy and productive.

    Thank you for your wonderful posts. You don’t have to print what I write, I just want to add food for thought, maybe for your next blog.

  • Listening to everyone else instead of ourselves can also make us unhappy. This past year I have learned to trust myself, and my instincts.

  • “Forgive early and forgive often.”
    Best advice for happiness I’ve ever heard. Once I found forgiveness didn’t mean something was right or that I wasn’t hurt, forgiveness is easier but it’s still not always easy. It’s just impossible to be happy without it.

  • Thank you for your (mostly) profound letters or blogs . From the height of my age I can tell you that it is not allays easy to live by those rules . Even the most saintly people have their times when they are wrong . But it is good as a reminder to try to live with the best intentions.

    Am I allowed to use/link to your blog(s) on another site? Of course with the mention of your names.

    Regards, Michal Ashkenasi

  • Thank you for such a good post.

  • I would add ‘Feeling sorry for yourself’ to the list. Every day since my separation from my wife, I cant help feeling sorry for myself, which makes me feel even worse, and very unhappy with my life. My depression is alienating me from those who I love and cherish. I stumbled on your site by chance, and find inspiration from your thoughts, and hope that I can learn from them to rebuild my life. I have my health, my wealth, and the love of my family, I have nothing to feel sorry about. There are people far worse off than me in the world.

  • I find I don’t do enough because of self doubt and I am not honoring my inner calling. Good reminders. Thanks for the insight!

  • Love all your words. They truly touch me.

    I am stuck in the forgiveness thing. I work really hard at embracing that. However — I get stuck in not being able to forget. Guess that’s a sign of not forgiving. But some things are so cruel and cold I find I no longer want to continue a relationship with a person capable of such self-involvement and insensitivity to others. I feel I need an apology, or at the very least an aknowledgement that this or that wasn’t handled as best it should have been.

    Input encouraged. Please. Set me free.

  • @Jeremy: Thank you!

    @Brett: Make an effort to try something new every day for the next 30 days. It can be a whole new activity or just a small experience, such as talking to a stranger. Once you get the ball rolling many of these new experiences will open doors to life changing opportunities.

    @Bendedspoon: A slight twist in words makes the world of difference. I like your strategy here. =)

    @Martin: You’re absolutely right; happiness is a choice – our choice.

    @Nay: Thank you! When we start feeling ourselves getting worked up we need to pause and question whether these events are something we can control; if not “let the thoughts and events that are completely irrelevant and out of our control go.”

    @Trina: Your words, appreciation and love mean the world to us. Thank you so much for taking the time to comment. Let your light continue to shine through.

    @Michelle: My favorite part is the community too! We all remind each other that we are in this together, and together we can conquer anything.

    @Amy: Absolutely true. Reminds me of the saying “Rome wasn’t build in a day.” Thanks for sharing your story.

    @Amandah: I love this: “Let’s face it; if you’re going to make up a story about your life, you may as create one that makes you happy.” Thank you for that breathe of fresh air. =)

    @Chris: Everyday you have two paths to choose from, follow your love, happiness and passion or follow your fear. Acknowledge your fear, but also acknowledge that you deserve happiness. There is no wrong doing in enjoying life.

    @Teresa: Check out this article on forgiveness: How To Forgive Yourself and Others. Thank you for your insight.

    @Maria: Being grateful creates happiness. =)

    @Heather: You can get through this! I am glad we are able to indirectly assist you. Stay strong.

    @David: Thank you! You just made me smile. =)

    @Tatiana: You’re the second person to suggest this topic, maybe we’ll have a whole post dedicated to it soon. In the meantime, know that you DO deserve happiness.

    @Sahil: Congratulations! True passion always peaks through.

    @Jackie: One of our primary goals… Thanks! =)

    @Andrea: You got it. Change your thoughts and you change your reality.

    @Jasmine: Thank you for the intuitive suggestions.

    @Michal: Of course you can link to our blog to share the material. We just ask that you give proper attribution by linking back to our site when you share our content elsewhere.

    @Mick: I wholeheartedly agree. Great addition! It really sounds like you’ve got a handle on a healthy perspective now. Best of luck to you.

    @Cydney: Go for it! If there was ever a time to follow your intuition, that time is now.

    @Andrea: Ultimately, you have to make the judgment call on your relationships. My feeling is that relationships should be built on honesty and alignment. This means you should be able to speak openly if the other person’s behaviors are bothering you. In addition, their values should align with your own. The first step is obviously open communication. Give it a try and let us know how it goes. And thanks for your kind remarks.

    @All: As Michelle mentioned above, the community we have built here is a huge source of our happiness and inspiration. Thank you for your continued support, love your comments and we read every one of them. =)

  • I’m stuck in a decision I made five years ago… A choice that I thought would make me happy. But I wasn’t thinking of the innocent person that made the decision for the right reasons, when I made it for the wrong reasons. I married someone for the feelings of security. Because he was a totally different guy than I would normally go for. He is a genuinely good guy - responsible, respectable. I care for him and love him, but the choice I made in my head is not being fulfilled with my heart. I don’t want to hurt anyone, including myself… I stay… and I have days of happiness, but most days I feel unfulfilled. I rarely see him, as he didn’t sell his business as he had promised 5 years ago, and he rarely has a day off. We rarely see each other and I feel like we have no chemistry when we do.

    I made a decision with my head and not my heart. Now I’m trying to figure out what to do with the mess I have made.

  • I struggle at times, but I always find beauty in small moments. In my darkest hours a beautiful sunset, a simple but delicious dinner, a glass of wine, a glowing candle, a smile from a stranger, a hug from a loved one, a short poem or great article, a hot bath or shower, holding the door for someone, a compliment - these cost virtually nothing and can go unnoticed. But these are the small things that make up real life and bring beauty into each day. This list cannot be complete without mentioning the joy and friendship of having a dog.

  • Had to post one more article: http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2013/03/how-nature-resets-our-minds-and-bodies/274455/

  • I am striving with number 7. I have same negative thoughts again and again and again. How to pull yourself from these thoughts that have an impact on your life. I’m trying to get this right.

  • A listening ear is quite helpful for someone in trouble. When you talk to your friend about the problems you’re facing, that means you don’t ignore them any more. Facing problems should be the first step to healing in any situation. And then we can try to solve our problems them continually, it will encourage us to take the right steps forward.

  • Thinking about the past again and again… that is regretting my decisions made before..c.also the habit of procrastination… all this makes me feel very guilty sometimes.

  • “Letting other people pulling you down” would be another one for me. You let yourself influence too much by the people around you, that even though you are happy, bang, there comes an argument from the right why you should not be smiling…

  • Hello, thanks very much for this post. The greatest thing that steals my happiness is the fact that I love people who always leave me in tears, making me feel I am not worthy to be loved. Please help me, this is the second relationship that i have invested my emotions, feelings and everything of mine but it has left me with nothing. Advice from you all would be appreciated.

  • I was feeling low and when I opened this site today, this article has many of the issues stated that I have been trying to cope with.

    I always feel like I have not achieved anything in my life till now and it makes me think as if i have been wasting my life in order to be or to do everything whereas i am nothing even after all this. I feel as in I have nothing as compared to others and even my friends whom am surrounded with. I often read such articles on this site and they always inspire me. But its like am happy one moment and am feeling the next moment. I even lack confidence in myself at times when am low. Don’t know what to go for or what to leave behind in my life.

  • Procrastination is the worst ill of mine.

  • @Lisa: This does sound like quite the dilemma. Truthfully, if you have seriously tried to make this relationship work for the last five years and you are still utterly miserable, it’s time to start looking making a change. This first step is being open and honest with your husband though. You have to be clear about how you feel. If there was any chance in saving your marriage and healing your inner battle, it starts with honest communication. I wish you all the best. Stay strong.

    @Marci: That’s beautiful. Thanks for sharing your viewpoint and that wonderful article.

    @Ahmad: The opposite of those negative thoughts is a positive one. It sounds silly but it’s true. When you notice yourself looking at the downside, force yourself to find an upside.

    @Jantje: Great addition. It’s important that we surround ourselves with people that lift us higher.

    @Tibah Solange: Perhaps it’s best if you take your new relationships a bit slower. If you find that others are constantly hurting you, it’s likely that these people never had your best interests in mind to begin with. Spend more time nurturing your own happiness. Get involved in a project or social group that excites you. When you involve yourself in the right work/activities, it will help you gravitate toward the right people.

    @D’coasta: Have you ever talked to a life coach or counselor. Oftentimes simply talking to a professional or a close confidant about feelings of disorientation helps a person find their direction. I think it’s something you should consider. Best of luck to you.

    @Karim: I feel you. Procrastination is something so many of us struggle with every single day.

  • Osita ikechukwu
    March 31st, 2013 at 9:30 am

    First of all I appreciate your motivational advice, it has also affected my way of thinking positively. Persisting on particular goal even after failing many times is what I struggle with. What can I do about it?

  • Thanks guys, this has really helped me. I just stumbled upon this site and I’m looking forward to reading everything you have!!!

  • Thanks to share this post. I think, it was really helpful for me. Really I appreciate your motivational advice.

  • This post could not be written any better! Reading through it reminded me of my previous roommate. He always kept talking about this. I will forward this write-up to him. Fairly certain he will have a good read and enjoy it. Many thanks for sharing!

  • As everyone has already stated, you make life so bearable. There are so many times I can just come here and find some guidance to get out of “stuck mode” and it’s not always what I want to hear, but I know it’s what I need to hear. That is friendship. So, this post will be added to my sources of enlightenment through this ever evolving life of growth that even in my late 30’s feels relentless at times. What have I learned most here? Gratitude. To be grateful for every twist and turn, it’s all part of the branching of the deep set roots that will forever make me and my life.

    I still struggle, with the disconnection my husband and I are having. Busy lives, both working, commute and 2 children ~ the dead tone on the other end is so loud it’s deafening. I know it. He fights to get it back. I’ve opened my heart and told him what has been lost. He is a good, trusted man who took me for granted and says its the biggest mistake of his life… He was my everything, but forced his hand on my growth with his complacency. I’ve outgrown him and that is my struggle.

    I know there is a hidden post in here somewhere… it just doesn’t say “Sandy this is it” or “What to do when you disconnect”
    Also, thank you for all the book recommendations, have not had a bad read yet.

  • I struggle with happiness. So does many other folks. Though in the heart of our heart, we know, happiness is not in arriving at a destination, but it is savouring the journey that make us happy, yet we still hanker for material possessions. Our achievement oriented society does not leave us alone. The way out would be to strengthen the inner calling so much that it will muffle all the noise and distractions of the world. And then I will be happy.

  • Very insightful post… Its now very clear for me why I have suffered so much in my life… It really made a change in my life. Thanks for this post

  • I’d like to add one (of course, that would make it 8 reasons, LOL!): not living in the now.

    Hope that didn’t come off too Garth-esque. It’s true, though. Regretting the past and worrying about the future are really not the paths to happiness. Enjoy what you have right now.

  • I think I am guilty of all of the things. Unfortunately something has to change and soon.. I read a lot of self help books and try to resolve all my anxiety on my own. I do good until someone comes to dump on me once again. And the cycle starts all over. How do you ignore the people that cause your stress. They r loved ones and I am with them everyday!!

  • Awesome article, thanks so much for all of your insights - I will share this with friends and family

  • I have one daughter, one granddaughter and we/ her parents are lucky is we are blessed with one phone call a week without asking. We were told that we need to have a “date” and it’s sad when it doesn’t happen or we have to initiate the call. It’s habits like these that make me very sad and very unhappy. It just points out to me that I didn’t do a very good job as a mother. This lack of interaction creates an enormous amount of stress!

  • I struggle with feeling happy. Only when I’m with my children am I truly happy; everything else, myself especially feels empty. A failed relationship and grief isn’t helping, but the blog articles you write help. Thank you.

  • I struggle with #2 quite often. I put off doing things I need to and then I get depressed for not having them done. It’s an unfortunate cycle, but I only have myself to blame for it. I know this and I am working to change it. All it takes is taking action on your part and a bit of motivation to keep it going. I know that if I just get some structure and a way to keep things going I will be stress-free and much happier because of it.

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