post written by: Angel Chernoff

9 Ways to Find Peace of Mind in Tough Times


9 Ways to Find Peace of Mind in Tough Times

Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass,
it’s about learning to dance in the rain.
―Vivian Greene

Over the past decade Marc and I have dealt with several personal hardships of varying degrees, including the sudden death of a sibling, the loss of a best friend to illness, and an unexpected, breadwinning employment layoff.

These experiences were brutal.  Each of them, unsurprisingly, knocked us down and off course for a period of time.  But when our time of mourning was over in each individual circumstance, we pressed forward, stronger, and with a greater understanding and respect for life.

Here are some vital lessons we learned – ways to maintain peace of mind in tough times:

1.  Learn to trust yourself.

“It isn’t as bad as you sometimes think it is.  As you heal and grow, it will all work out.  Relax and trust yourself.”

Repeat that in your mind every morning.  Because the truth is, it all works out in the end.  Put your full trust in yourself by following your intuition and doing your best, and then move forward one step at a time with faith and confidence in the future.  Life will not forsake you.  Love, persistence and hard work combined rarely lead a person astray in the long run.

If you have faith in your abilities, if you stay true to the path that feels right, if you channel your passion into action, you will ultimately achieve a breakthrough.  In other words, as soon as you trust yourself you will know how to heal and grow.

2.  Focus on what you’re learning.

Mistakes and setbacks are simply a form of practice.

If the road is easy and free of bumps, you’re likely going the wrong way.  The bumps in the road teach you what you need to know to progress down a path that is all your own.  Sometimes things have to go wrong in order to go right.  Sometimes you need to change a flat tire or two before you can move on.

Bottom line:  Your journey isn’t supposed to be easy, it’s supposed to be worth it.  To never struggle is to never grow.  There is no perfectly smooth road to anyplace worth going.

3.  Ease your expectations.

Life is under no obligation to give you exactly what you expect.  Whatever it is you’re seeking will rarely ever come in the form you’re expecting.  Don’t miss the silver lining because you were expecting gold.

You must see and accept things as they are instead of as you hoped, wished, or expected them to be.  Just because it didn’t turn out like you had envisioned, doesn’t mean it isn’t exactly what you need to get to where you ultimately want to go.

4.  Open up to someone you trust.

You aren’t alone; let someone special in when you’re in a dark place.  You know who this person is.  Don’t expect them to solve your problems; just allow them to face your problems with you.  Give them permission to stand beside you.  They won’t necessarily be able to pull you out of the dark place you’re in, but the light that spills in when they enter will at least show you which way the door is.

Above all, the important thing to remember is that you are not alone.  No matter how bizarre or embarrassed or pathetic you feel about our own situation, there is someone in your life who has dealt with similar emotions and who wants to help you.  When you hear yourself say, “I am alone,” it’s just your insecurities trying to sell you a lie.  (Read Daring Greatly.)

5.  Use hope to drive positive action.

Only in the dark can you see the stars.  The stars are hope.  Look for them.

The very least you can do in your life is figure out what you hope for.  And the most you can do is live inside that hope as you work for what you want.  Do not admire what you hope for from a distance, but live right in it.  Get deeply involved with the thoughts and activities that keep your hope alive and your intention possible.

No, hope alone will not save you from despair.  Hope empowers you to strive and grow even when your circumstances are in shambles.  The road that is built with hope is more pleasant than the road built in despair, even though they both may seem to lead you to the same place in the short-term.  But it is the positive growth you attain on your way to this temporary place that will benefit your final destination.

It’s all about balance – accepting reality without giving up on what needs to be done to reach your desired destination in the long run.

6.  Move TOWARDS something instead of AWAY.

“Don’t think about eating that chocolate cookie!”  What are you thinking about now?  Eating that chocolate cookie, right?  When you concentrate on not thinking about something, you end up thinking about it.

The same philosophy holds true when it comes to freeing your mind from a negative past.  By persistently trying to move away from what you don’t want, you are forced to think about it so much that you end up carrying it’s weight along with you.  But if you instead choose to focus your energy on moving toward something you do want, you naturally leave the negative weight behind as you progress forward.

Bottom line:  Instead of concentrating on eliminating the negative, concentrate on creating something positive (that just happens to replace the negative).  (Read Learned Optimism.)

7.  Take a few steps back.

Everything seems simpler from a distance.  Sometimes you simply need to distance yourself to see things more clearly.

You are more than whatever is troubling you.  A very real part of you exists beyond your worries, beyond your doubts, independent from the troubles and frustrations of the present moment.  Step back and observe yourself as you experience each moment.  Be present.  Watch yourself as you think, as you take action, as you experience emotions.  Your body may experience pain, and yet that pain is not you.  Your mind may encounter troubles, and yet you are not those troubles.

Think of the most difficult challenge you face right now.  Imagine that it’s not you, but a close friend who is facing this challenge.  What advice would you give her?  If you could step back and, instead of being the subject, look at your situation as an objective observer, would you look at it any differently?  Think of the advice you would give your friend if your friend were in your shoes.  Are you following your own best advice right now?

Don’t allow your current troubles to cloud your thinking.  Take a few steps back and give yourself the benefit of this distance, and then give yourself some great advice.

8.  Give yourself time.

Take all the time you need.  Emotional healing is a process; don’t rush yourself through it.  Don’t let others force you through it either.  Moving on doesn’t take a day; it takes lots of little steps to be able to break free of your broken past and your wounded self.

Take today breath by breath, one step at a time.  Never let trouble from the past make you feel like you have a bad life now.  Just because yesterday was painful doesn’t mean today will be too.  Our wounds are often the openings into the best and most beautiful part of us.  Today you have a choice to explore these parts of yourself.  Give yourself the needed time and permission to explore and heal.  (Marc and I discuss this in more detail in the Adversity and Growth chapters of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)

9.  Look for the beginning in every ending.

A wise man once said, “Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.”  Today is a new beginning; treat it that way.  Stop thinking about what might have been and starting looking at what can be.

Say to yourself: “Dear Past, thank you for all the life lessons you have taught me.  Dear Future, I am ready now!”  Because a great beginning always occurs at the exact moment you thought would be the end of everything.

The floor is yours…

What’s gives you peace of mind when times are tough and stressful?  Please leave a comment below and let us know.

Photo by: Martina Photography

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82 Comments

  • I try to have a daily time of prayer and meditation during good times and bad.

  • I keep an Attitude of Gratitude Log Book, on bad days and good days. When I get discouraged, I write even more things that I am grateful for. With each major life transition, I create a Vision Board to remind me to move towards what I want and need with an open heart full of of hope. Worrying never helps, so it’s best to approach life’s challenges as an adventure, a game and with a playful spirit. My husband recently got laid off, and although we could be panicked, we are choosing to view this as an opportunity to find something even better for him! I was even able to get him to make his first Vision Board! Each morning I ask him what is the Word-of-the-Day. He is having fun thinking about these new qualities and aspects to his next job. So we found a way to connect, be supportive, and dare I say - have some fun with this latest challenge, er, opportunity! Blessings!

  • For me, keeping peace of mind in tough times is all about focusing on the next small step forward. When times are hard, all I look at is the couple feet in front of me and nothing else.

  • Thank you for sharing with us what you learned through tragedy, Angel. No doubt this gives hope to all of us.

    I cannot say I’ve ever been in times that were anywhere close as tough as you and Angel, but what gets me going is the knowledge that life goes on. I may be sad today but that doesn’t mean I won’t be a better man tomorrow who has learned from tragedy.

    There are still others out there living through life as the protagonist of their own story, each living a life as vivid as I am. What gives me the right to not enjoy the stories others are living? This reminds me of two things. Others are living through tragedies too and that perseverance is possible.

  • Hi Angel,
    Your Point #7 here is lovely …
    So true sometimes you have to take your own advice and apply it to your own problems. But its just that those problems have cluttered your mind so much that you cant find a way through. Time to step aside to be an observer to your situation … rightly said :)

  • Yeah, I agree with Gaurav about point #7. I see this a lot, both in myself and in the people around me. It’s very easy to give others advice but for some reason, we tend to forget our own best wisdom in stressful times.
    When we’re struggling, it’s important to remember to be as kind and forgiving to ourselves as we would be towards someone else.
    Thanks for sharing, Angel.

  • Hi, as usual excellent article. All 9 points mentioned here play a major part for a positive comeback in life. Thank you again for such a positive outlook.

  • I’ve gone through a tremendous upheaval over the last year. Events seemed so sudden, like an earthquake but then I stepped back and assessed the situation. I realized that the suddenness of the events was an illusion, little tremors were happening from the very start of the relationship.

    I’ve been blessed to realize that the destruction of my marriage was a tremendous gift. It was the universe showing me what happens when I don’t believe in myself and my intuition. At first I found darkness all around me but instead of giving up, I took deep breaths and finally ignored all the voices around me and I’m finally following my own path, taking my own advice, honoring my intuition and I feel amazing.

  • What’s gives me peace of mind when times are tough and stressful is the saying, “This too shall pass.” It also makes me hit the ‘pause’ button so I can look within myself to see where I may have conflict. After all, the conflict we see outside of ourselves begins within ourselves.

    Thanks for this uplifting post. It’s a great way to start the weekend. Relax, unwind, and have fun. Find your peace of mind.

  • I thank my past for all it has given me. It’s even led me to this wonderful blog full of insight and hope.

    Thank you for these gentle, simple and most profound truths.

  • Very good advice, as usual. All of us experience hardships at one time or another. As they occur to me, I try to think of them as challenges or, as you put it, new beginnings. I’m glad you mentioned sharing with others. Sometimes when we are going through something hurtful, we tend to avoid others or close ourselves up. There are others out there who can help us through the bad times. Friends and family and sometimes even strangers who listen and don’t judge. The attitude of gratitude is also of supreme importance during times of struggle.

  • For me it’s all about 6 and 7. Although they may seem like opposites at first glance, they are both so vitally important together. First change you direction toward a better goal (#6) and then from time to time, take a step back and give yourself the space to evaluate your situation without being IN it (#7).

    Thank you for this.

  • Think of someone that needs your help and do something for them. Getting your mind off your own problems helps you and doing something for someone else helps them…win/win situation.

  • Excellent article! I really needed to hear all of this today with all that I am going thru right now. Thank you for posting it.

  • As Pema Chodron would say “lean into” what ever emotion you are feeling along the way. Explore it. Sit with it. Understand it and embrace it. Then let it go and move on until it comes again.

  • It’s amazing how healing time and perspective can be. I agree #7 is lovely and I’ve gotten better at this by practicing meditation. Taking moments to be the observer of my life has been instrumental in getting me through tough times. It’s very powerful.

  • I have truly been inspired and moved into a better mindset of hope and peace from reading your stuff. What glorious compassion and light is birthed through hardship - my experience is that it is God’s love that lights our path and kindles our desire to encourage and help one another along the way. This life can be a treacherous journey but, as you have said, it is worth it!

  • For me, the most helpful thing is not to run from whatever I’m feeling, to give myself the time and space to acknowledge it. I think you actually captured that in a few of the steps here. :-)

  • I ask God to show me what I need to do. A “fix” isn’t always reasonable but coping skills are. I ask for strength and knowledge so I can move forward.

  • Hello Marc and Angel, this is my first time leaving a comment on your page. I have been reading your blog for quite some time now and it has always been so uplifting and insightful. I am astounded by the wisdom the two of you possess about life, love and personal growth. You two are very inspirational to me and I truly appreciate it. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us.

  • Peace of mind when times are stressful. I am actually completely revamping my my toolset here. I have grabbed 15 books up in the last 3 weeks to start my own curriculum for this year. And all of the books were referenced in these posts.

    So here is what I tell myself:

    David, this too shall pass. It is survivable. You can solve and resolve it. You have everything you need to get started. So start at the beginning, work your way through the middle, and when you get to the end, stop. If you get stuck, light up the phone lines with your best friends and/or family.

    This task was assigned to you, success or failure, so it is personal. Its the struggle within the challenge that will bring the results to you personally. Those results will help you develop: for the good, for the worse or indifferently. Tough it out.

  • Marc and Angel, it’s almost like you try and find inspriation for each person who shares themselves with the world on your blog. This whole read today was perfect. I’m going to print it and hang next to my other uplifting statements which I read regularly for inspriation. #1 and #4 - need to practice those.

    You gave me a smile today, with a tear, but still a smile :) The last thing I see every morning on the way out the door is a picture on my wall - “Faith is being sure of what you hope for, and certain of what you do not see”. That can be understood however it’s comfortable for you. For me it’s spritual. I’m glad you two met and still battle life together. Real people’s life experience is better than any phycologist book therapy any day. Experience is where it’s at. When you experience it, and win your battle, you can be there when someone else struggles too. There needs to be more couples out there like you :) Thank you!

  • #9 Wise man indeed :)

    Awesome line from Semisonic - “Closing Time”

    “Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.”

  • Usually spending time alone to review a situation helps me a lot, then I focus on moving forward. I believe everything happens for a reason, so I try to find what that reason is. What a great list above. I guess I could open up more to others & not be afraid to share what I am going through with someone I trust.

  • When times get tough I share my frustrations with my best friend. She has always been my rock.

  • I am working on the “move toward something” instead of “away”. That is such a good point and until now, something I couldn’t quite put my finger on…but I knew it was happening with me. You articulated it so well.

  • Good one. For me, I find peace of mind in a light morning or evening jog.

  • Thanks for bringing that Vivian Greene quote back into my life. I’ve heard it before, but really needed to hear it now. Enjoyed every paragraph of this post.

  • This is such a great post! I have lived thru a lot of adversity in my life and all these steps are a part of living thru and growing with them. I just came out of 9 years of some pretty hard times. I started my own business, a cafe, which was a very hard endeavor for my husband and myself. We had a lot of conflicts and upheaval along the way that was tearing us apart. During this time(actually the worst time of my life) we were struggling with our relationship, family and finances. This all came to a crashing head when I came down with an advanced case of breast cancer. This terrible news actually saved my life, our marriage and made me look at my(our) life in a whole new light. It was the new beginning we needed. I look at this time as a blessing now.

    I had started learning even before this to look at every hardship and find the silver linings in it. This started with great Faith and Trust in a higher power…God. I totally let go of Fear, didn’t let it even enter my mind. I didn’t live in fear of cancer. I knew in my soul that I was going to be all right … and believed it with all my being. I knew that this was just part of my journey and that it was going to take patience and time. I just took it all one step at a time. My husband took me and placed me on a pink cloud… protected me, loved me , encouraged me and showed me how much I had to live for. Almost everyone in my life rallied around me for support. Those that didn’t, showed me who didn’t deserve to be part of my life. We started a spiritual journey that is making our life here on earth a heaven, instead of a hell.

    I found this in a book “The Four Agreements”. It taught me that we all have the power and ability to Live Life in “Heaven on Earth”. It is all up to us individually to make a conscious decision that this is what we want out of the Life we are given. After all the treatments, surgeries, losing our business and all the other “losses” we found something so much better. It was not expected or planned that way but evolved into what became an intense spiritual awaking for all of us. I used every one of these steps in your post(plus some), and they really work. I now look at all the things that happened as blessings in my life, because they got me where I am today. Now all I ask for is… God’s will for me and the power to carry it out. It’s that simple.

    Thank you Marc and Angel for giving people the light to follow. We all need that from time to time. I knew a lot of these things before I started to read your blog, but we all need to be reminded and reexamine our lives and actions from time to time, find our way back when we become lost.

  • One of my favorite things to remember is that when one door of opportunity closes, another opens. So I focus on not trying to beat down that closed door, which gets me nowhere, but instead to look around and see where there’s another one open…

  • One way of totally cutting out the noise–because mental noise is the plague of someone neurotic like me–is to simply meditate. To concentrate.

    I used to think it was woo-woo and kind of lame, myself, but after going through insanely tough times, I can say that it’s the best medicine. Everything afterwards is like seeing in HD. Reality as it is, and not what you see it as.

    I’m just started reading “The Relaxation Response” by Herbert Benson, as well, which provides some scientific knowledge about it.

    Love these nine points, especially the Trust Yourself part, though I’d say that only comes as a CONSEQUENCE of the things you survive; not necessarily beforehand. But then again, people are different.

  • As with so much, this came to me at just the right time… brought tears to my eyes and hope in my heart & mind.

    Thank you Marc & Angel!

  • Daily your site gives me great direction - I’m on a path beginning today, of re-construction. It’s challenging mentally to look closely at things that cry out to be changed and we are so habitual - that is the challenge! I am in a place away from all my normal surroundings and am totally accepting. Trust is one huge issue for me, but that will come.

  • #6 is great advice that makes me want to stop reading for a while and rethink my direction in life. I finally received a wake-up call from this. Thank you so much.

  • It’s all about mastering the feeling of impermanence! Nothing is permanent and this too shall pass. It’s not easy, but it seems to keep things in perspective. To consider the alternative - that everything is permanent includes every thought, feeling, bodily sensation - is too awful to consider.

  • One day at a time… just one day at a time, trying not to look back.

  • Hello Marc and Angel, I really want to use this opportunity to thank you two so much for all your effort towards the motivation and inspiration of your readers. I personally have been marvelously transformed mentally and emotionally. Thanks so much and blessings.

  • Reading this blog and these posts written by people I don’t know, believing that the tight vice of my present life is not all there is - these are the breaths that gives me hope (#5) and the courage to take little steps forward (#8). Jasmine wrote a few posts ago - knowing that somebody is out there, under the same sky, and this person is special. This is true - out there is peace and it is actually as close as my closest open window. I lift up the glass and pull the freshness inside and I have reason to go on. I’ll make it, I know I will.

  • Majida.alsamara
    May 12th, 2013 at 2:11 pm

    Thank you for this useful article. I find that whatever you discus and write is helpful and interesting. Keep going on and wish you all the best.

  • Hey Marc & Angel,

    This would be my first time leaving a comment as I saw from some of the comments as well.

    I just wanted to say thank you, I’ve been reading your blog for about a year now. Since July, when my life took a complete turn for the worst.

    Lost my job, my best friend who I was also madly in love with (not in the death sense, although sometimes it feels like that, but to distance and a slew of frustration) and just went into a deep seclusion.

    Your blog posts I’ve discovered while on a quest to search for answers. Your site made me uncover a lot. About myself, about pain and suffering, how to cope with emotions and not let the past ruin the future.

    To find joy, today. And not wait for tomorrow, to discover love in the simplest things like enjoying a warm cup of coffee with a friend or enjoy the silence of being alone, not lonely but comfortable and courage to be alone.

    This blog post in particular encompasses what I’ve learned over the last year. Some of my friends had said to move on and find yourself a new person to share your life with. But I identified with both #1 #8 and #6.

    I Trust myself to do what is best for me in the long wrong. The decision to move through the pain rather than to replace the pain with joy with another person will only be a temporary fix. It doesn’t solve the problem.

    I also Trust myself, to learn from this experience to learn from it so as I don’t bring the pain and burden into the next stage of healing. Which is why I’m giving myself lots of time in-between to rediscover who I am. As I lost a lot in this previous relationship.

    From there, I will be able to Move Towards something instead of away from something in the end. It wasn’t until 4 months ago where I started to make great strides allowing myself to be me and not someone who everyone wants me to be.

    And most of all to be truthful to myself, and not make decisions based on emotions because I feel sorry for myself, or the idea of loneliness means I failed in life to make an emotional connection with people.

    Those emotional connections will come when the time is right. And not feel pressured by society or loved ones around to live up to their expectations but to my own expectations as to what I can and should do with my life at this point.

    So, in short, I really want to say thank you for continuing to create these blogs to help people during troubled times. To find strength in one own self to realize there is Joy out there just waiting to be discovered if you just open your eyes to the possibilities. But you have to be ready for it, you have to want that, because when you uncover the mysteries that unfold from there you will never feel an ounce of pain again because that pain you grow into will only make you a more beautiful person. And pain is only a perception of the human mind.

    Thank you Marc & Angel.

  • @Paisley Marks: Well said. Thank you for your story.

    @Sandra Hamlett: Congratulations! Great advice for both yourself and every one else reading this. I really connected with it.

    @Lisa: Great addition, thank you!

    @Mike: Thank you for taking the time to comment. We truly appreciate your continued love and support.

    @Michelle: Your kind and encouraging words mean so much to us. Together we can all get through life’s challenges. =)

    @Carol: What an incredible story, it gave me chills as I was reading it. Thank you so much for sharing your personal story. As you said, “This terrible news actually saved my life, our marriage and made me look at my(our) life in a whole new light. It was the new beginning we needed. I look at this time as a blessing now.” We all need to look for the silver linings. I am so happy for you. =)

    @Marilyn: Great analogy.

    @Raisa: I am so glad we are able to help. =)

    @Christian: It’s a true privilege to hear that we have a positive impact in your life. Thank you!

    @M: Very well said, “that pain you grow into will only make you a more beautiful person.” Welcome to the conversation and thank you for the continued support.

    @All: As always, your comments provide additional help and feedback to others through your own personal stories. Together we can get through anything. Thank you for sharing, and know we are truly grateful to have each and every one of you in our community. =)

  • And always, always, take time to breathe.

    Thanks Angel.

  • Great post! I enjoy just sharing the load with other people, but at times people are not realistic as one would expect them to be. Just sharing is a relief though.

  • Nothing calms the mind like nature. It can be on your back porch or in the woods… it’s all in the spiritual mind of just being in the real moment of peace being offered.

  • I usually get peace of mind when faced with difficulty by “knowing” that someone before me has already been here & paved the way & if not, then I get peace of mind knowing that I can be the one to pave the way for some one else :)

  • Thanks for this informative and inspiring post. Be blessed.

    Moses

  • I really like the idea of moving towards something instead of away. Instead of moving away from my unhealthy marriage, I will move towards a healthier relationship with myself and eventually a new partner.

  • Your timing’s always perfect! Thanks for another inspiring message, especially this:

    “Only in the dark can you see the stars. The stars are hope. Look for them.”

  • Great post! I would add one more thing - envision yourself over the hurdle. See yourself in your mind having gotten over the tough times and being OK. When you’re feeling helpless, pull up that image and immerse yourself into it. The more in tune you are with where you want to be, the easier it will be for you to connect with your inner wisdom and overcome the hurdles you’re facing.

  • Well, when I am stressed I usually have a cup of tea and that keeps me away from the stress for next 20-30 minutes. I also find peace when I walk, you know walking at least 2 kms a day will keep your mind more active I believe…

  • Meditation.

  • Point #3 is my problem, I always expect things to turn around exactly I want to, but slowly I have learned to face this fact, that there is nothing like magic, we have to work hard to get exactly what we want in our life.
    Good article.

  • All i can say with my resent experience is …When one door of opportunity closes, God gives another and definitely the better one …. I do agree life is not about a smooth ride, it is indeed your Karmas that get you places …

  • This was so nice … every word was something to ponder with. Thank you.

  • Thanks for this wonderful article. I feel burdened in life because of the huge emotional baggage I am carrying on my shoulders. I think a lot about could have beens. But that past is not coming back. I took some ugly decisions some bad ones and some crazy ones too. After reading this beautiful article I have come to realize how much I reminisce my past. My presents good too. I think I should not forget how blessed I am in my present moment. To hell with the Past.

  • Thank you…

    For your advice. Much appreciated.

  • A very nice article. I really needed this post with all that I am suffering today. All the 9 points mentioned above are so good and I am going to adopt them in my life. Thank you so much.

  • Thanks ….. Really needed this advice …. Love and light 😘 xx

  • That helped me big-time, quite encouraging. Thank you and stay blessed.

  • Boy I must be getting ready to win the lottery or something because I am getting plummeted! :- )

  • Beautiful thoughts … brilliant way of looking at life …

  • Very well written, like you know where I’m at right now. Thank You

  • Very well written. The teachings of Lord Buddha and The Gita also talk on the same lines. Embrace change as ‘Change’ is the only constant in this universe. We alone our own masters and our own slaves. We are the absolute owners of our mindrabnd soul. If we think in a peaceful and positive manner then we will emit peaceful and positive vibrations. Its all in our hands.

    Creation and then destruction and then creation is the only truth. Birth and death, Day and Night and then day again etc…

    We must understand that life is short so let us try and give love love and love

  • Thanks for this wonderful article, To be peaceful means to have thoughts filled with peace and power.

  • At first, I was imagining myself with my loved ones during bad times. But, as a matter of fact it is like I’m scared of reality & in seek of imaginary person taking care of me. Later, I learnt that sitting in a garden & preparing yourself for the worst actually makes your worries look easy to solve and that’s not all, you even get to smile with ease. The article here is just one thing that helps us. Thanks guys.

  • Thank you so much. Your words helped me.

  • I am unaware of myself ever being in a state of peace of mind, however I believe if you remain who you are, ignoring every negative aspect people imply, you will obtain a state of peace. This article helped quite much. Thanks for this. Negative things do not exist, their just the absence of something positive.

  • Thank you so much for this advice. Just by reading what you guys have written here is making me feel so much stronger in this current pathetic situation I am in. I wish you all the best.

  • Dear Angel,
    I guess meditation helps to calm the mind and lend inner strength to brace against the situation.

  • Thanks. I am actually now suffering “breadwinning employment layoff”, simply reading this entry is a release, and I am about to ACT.

  • Hi Angel, thanks for the words. They really did rekindle something positive in me. Yes, every thing is going to be alright…

  • This is amazing!! Thank you for sharing!

  • Thanks this is great information. I am struggling with loneliness as single dad of great 10 year old son but been alone most of my life . Hit about each biz goal I have set but personal life has been a wreck.

  • …music

  • Thank you.

  • Thank very much for such a great lines. These lines inspire me to do something fruitful in my life.

  • Thanks

  • THANK YOU…
    It is not that I did not know these things, but that part of my consciousness has been deeply buried. Thanks for waking it up!

  • Thanks for this article as it is most reassuring to rediscover ways to regain peace in the midst of agitated feelings. Peace and light will always rise again once you sit with the pain and sift through the debris to arrive at a point of deep calm and inner bliss. It is so true that most of us struggle to regain a sense of who we originally are beneath all the wounds and disturbing interactions that form a cloud over our perceptions of self. To uncover the original self is akin to sand-blasting all the faulty programming that has marred and scarred access to our true self. At our core we remain pure light and pure love and only we can regain this oceanic feeling by sifting through the rubble that has blocked access to this fact. Breath in and regain connection to this inner point of serenity: to me it appears a serene ocean with a sun slowly rising to engulf the sky.

    Muse on what you love, find a quiet place to reconnect with yourself and ground yourself, absorb yourself in nature and memories of who and what you love, and feel free to express whatever rises until you find the body feels lighter and freer. Learn to trust that there are others on a similar path who you will find along the way who can serve as anchors and mirror your potential to both love and be loved without shame or fear. Soak up the memory of such encounters and use them as precious gems to rid your sense of being all alone and abandoned by the world. Slowly we shift from dark moods and dark places to an expansive understanding that all of us are connected with a higher source of consciousness that provides grace and a reservoir of inner peace. Forgive the past to embrace the future with greater clarity and ease.

  • I’m going through a very difficult time right now, but after reading these steps, it is really helping me. I feel very very far away from my husband, connection is going away, but he won’t make any attempt to regain anything. Last night was the first time I stayed up all night crying my eyes out bc I was in so much pain. At about 4a.m., I started reading the steps and everyone’ comments. It really helped to put my mind at ease, everyone has such great comments. I woke up this morning and read everything all over again. The thought of someone not caring about you who you love can really bring someone down. But I’m a big girl and I can get through this.

  • Thank you. This is beautiful

  • “Whatever it is you’re seeking will rarely ever come in the form you’re expecting. Don’t miss the silver lining because you were expecting gold.”

    Such true words, especially when it comes to having children. When we have children we expect them to be “normal” and healthy and we project all these dreams and expectations on both them and the life we expect we will lead with them. Then some of us have a “not normal” child and the whole thing is constantly a challenge and often painful. Thank you, I appreciated reading your words today as I searched for some inspiration on a difficult day. Now I am going to spend some time thinking about and finding the silver lining brought to my life by my unique child (now a teenager) instead of focusing on what he will miss out on, have difficulty with, what I have lost or adapted to.

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