7 Behaviors to Stop Tolerating from Others

7 Behaviors to Stop Tolerating from Others

It is better to be alone than in bad company.

Your dignity may be attacked, ravaged and disgracefully mocked, but it can never be taken away unless you willingly surrender it.  It’s all about finding the strength to defend your boundaries.

The manipulators of the world will test you from time to time to see if you bend.  Don’t let them intimidate you.  When you catch them pushing on you, push back.  All it takes is once, and if they get away with pushing you around that once – if they know they can treat you like that – then it sets the pattern for the future.

You are stronger than them!  Stick up for yourself and stop tolerating…

1.  Bullying.

Bullying is not OK.  Period.  There is no freedom on Earth that gives someone the right to assault who you are as a person.  Sadly, some people just won’t be happy until they’ve pushed your ego to the ground and stomped on it.  What you have to do is have the nerve to stand your ground.  Don’t give them any leeway.  Nobody has the power to make you feel small unless you give them that power.

It takes a great deal of courage to stand up to your enemies, but just as much to stand up to your family and friends.  Sometimes bullying comes from the most unlikely places.  Be cognizant of how the people closest to you treat you, and look out for the subtle jabs they throw.  When necessary, confront them – whatever it takes to give yourself the opportunity to grow into who you really are.  (Angel and I cover this in detail in the Adversity and Relationships chapters of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)

2.  Physical abuse of any kind.

If you have survived the wrath of a physical abuser, and you tried to reconcile things… If you forgave, and you struggled, and even if the expression of your grief had you succumb to outbursts of anger… If you spent years hanging on to the notions of trust and faith, even after you knew in your heart that those beautiful intangibles, upon which love is built and sustained, would never be returned… And especially, if you stood up as the barrier between an abuser and someone else, and took the brunt of the abuse in their place…

You are a HERO.

But now it’s time to be the hero of your future.  Enough is enough!

3.  Supporting hatred.

As Gandhi once said, “An eye for an eye will only make the whole world blind.”

Regardless of how despicable another has acted, never let hate build in your heart.  Fighting hatred with hatred only hurts you more.  When you decide to hate someone you automatically begin digging two graves: one for your enemy and one for yourself.

Hateful grudges are for those who insist that they are owed something.  Forgiveness, on the other hand, is for those who are strong enough and smart enough to move on.  After all, the best revenge is to be unlike the person who hurt you.  The best revenge is living well, in a way that creates peace in your heart.  (Read Buddha’s Brain.)

4.  Negativity.

There are plenty of people in this world who will be generous when sharing their negativity and ignorance.  And while they may seem quite eager to feed you their rubbish, please remember it’s not the diet you need.  You need positivity.  So be cautious with whom you let feed your mind and soul.  Do not let the negative opinions of others destroy your inner spirit.

Throughout your life you will meet two kinds of people: those who are a drain on your energy and dreams, and those who give you the energy to pursue your dreams.  Avoid the first kind and cherish the second.

5.  Lies.

If someone fools you once, shame on them.  If someone fools you twice, shame on you.

If you catch someone lying to you, speak up.  Some people will lie to you repeatedly in a vicious effort to get you to repeat their lies over and over until they effectively become true.  Don’t partake in their nonsense.  Don’t let their lies be your reality.

Remember, an honest adversary is always better than a friend who lies.  Pay less attention to what people say, and more attention to what they do.  Their actions will show you the truth.  (Read In Sheep’s Clothing.)

6.  Disparaging remarks about your potential.

Never let someone’s opinion of you wash away your truth.  Never sacrifice who you are or what you aspire to be because someone else sees things differently.

Sometimes even your closest confidants will carelessly crush your potential with smiles on their faces.  They will discredit your ideas, exhibiting zero emotional support, and inadvertently persuade you to forget part of the person you are, along with the person you are capable of becoming.

Don’t let weak minds convince you that you aren’t strong enough.  You are.

7.  Attempts to decide for you.

When you feel out of control or a little lost it can be tempting to look for someone willing to take charge of your life for you, just to alleviate the pressure.  But before you do consider this: if you put a collar around your own neck and hand the leash to someone else, you’ll have no say about where they lead you in life.

When it comes to exercising your inner genius, you must listen to your inner voice.  Try what you want to try, go where you want to go and explore the depths of your own intuition.  Don’t accept false choices just because someone else doesn’t feel what you feel.  Don’t let others leash your dreams and your future.  If something feels right, it probably is.  Give yourself the fair chance you deserve.

Final Thoughts

This is your life.  You may not be able to control all the things people do to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.  You can decide not to let their actions and opinions invade your heart and mind.  And above all, you can decide whom to walk beside into tomorrow, and whom to leave behind today.

Your turn…

What would you add to the list?  What’s one behavior you will not tolerate from others?  Please leave a comment below and let us know.

Photo by: Alpha Designer

Comments

  1. Maria Gandia says

    Thank you so much for this post. I am constantly fighting to put boundaries to a member of my family, I grew up thinking her behavior was “normal” totally acceptable, what is more, I have been most of my life thinking it was a must do in our family to keep accepting them. And I grew up scared, and vulnerable to her intimidation. It cost me a lot to understand, but she is not finding any more acceptance from me.

    There is only one member of my family who still doesn’t understand how much long-term harm this toxic person has done. That’s my father, and it’s painful for the rest of us, it’s like yelling “fire!” all the time and having the way to extinct it, but he is blind to it.
    I have used several of this speak up, compassion, boundaries ways to make him see a different kind of relationship is possible, it may not be working bit he is starting to understand my point of view. All of you out there, I would add to this list:

    If the toxic behavior is accepted by your beloved ones, DON’T BE SCARED by toxic people, they may think they have the power but they don’t. Facts speak. Your happiness after stopping toxic behavior towards you shows how much they can change. And even if they are toxic with you again, you will never be afraid again to show their manipulative ways to others. That will give you back your confidence.

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