8 Things Unhappy People Refuse to Admit

8 Things Unhappy People Refuse to Admit

“People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.”
―Abraham Lincoln

Everyone experiences an unhappy mood on occasion, but there is a big difference between experiencing a temporary bout of unhappiness and living a habitually unhappy life.  That’s what chronically unhappy people do.  And although many of these people are afraid to admit it, a vast majority of their unhappiness stems from their own beliefs and behaviors.

Over the years, Angel and I have helped thousands of unhappy people rediscover their smiles, and, in the process, we’ve learned a lot about the negative beliefs and behaviors that typically hold them back.  Even if you are generally a happy person, take a look at the list below.  Many of the unhappy people we’ve worked with initially refused to admit that they carried these beliefs and behaviors, even when the evidence stacked against them was undeniable.  See if any of these points are keeping you from experiencing greater amounts of joy.

1.  They struggle with self-respect.

Decide this minute to never again beg anyone for the love, respect, and attention that you should be showing yourself.  Be your own best friend.  Trust your inner spirit and follow your instincts.  Accept who you are completely, the good and the bad, and make changes in your life as YOU see fit – not because you think anyone else wants you to be different, but because you know it’s the right thing to do, for YOU.

Be the person you will be happy to live with for the duration of your life.  Don’t rely on your significant other, or anyone else, for your happiness and self-worth.  Know that our first and last love is always self-love, and that if you can’t love and respect yourself, no one else will be able to either.

2.  They are self-conscious about what others think of them.

The minute you stop overwhelming your mind with caring about what everyone else thinks, and start doing what you feel in your heart is right, is the minute you will finally feel freedom and peace of mind.  In fact, you can end half your troubles immediately by no longer permitting people to tell you what you want.

You have to put your life in your own hands.  Others may be able hold your happiness hostage temporarily, but only you can do it permanently.  (Angel and I discuss this in more detail in the “Self-Love” and “Happiness” chapters of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)

3.  They are holding on to old grudges.

You will never find peace until you learn to finally let go of the hatred and hurt that lives in your heart.  Life is far too short to be spent in nursing bitterness and registering wrongs.  Grudges are for those who insist that they are owed something; forgiveness, on the other hand, is for those who are confident enough to stand on their own two legs and move on.

In order to move on, you must know why you felt the way you did, and why you no longer need to feel that way.  It’s about accepting the past, letting it be, and pushing your spirit forward with good intentions.  Nothing empowers your ability to heal and grow as much as your love and forgiveness.

4.  The routines they follow imprison them.

Remember that the way you’ve always done it isn’t the only way.  It’s unlikely that one of the things you’ll regret when you’re 70 is not having consumed enough beer in your 20s, or not having bought enough $6 lattes from Starbucks, or not having frequented the same night club for years.  But the regret of missing out on opportunities is a real, toxic feeling.

The bottom line is that you’ve figured out drinking and going out.  You’ve had enough lattes.  It’s time to figure something else out.  Every corner you turn or street you walk down has a new experience waiting for you.  You just have to see the opportunity and be adventurous enough to run with it.  (Read Eat, Pray, Love.)

5.  There’s a lot they can’t control (even though they try).

Life is often unpredictable.  Some of the great moments in your life won’t necessarily be the things you do; they’ll be things that happen to you.  That doesn’t mean you can’t take action to affect the outcome of your life.  You have to take action, and you will.  But don’t forget that on any day, you can step out the front door and your whole life can change in an instant – for better or worse.

To an extent, the universe has a plan that’s always in motion.  A butterfly flaps its wings and it starts to rain – it’s a scary thought, but it’s part of life’s cycle.  All these little parts of the machine, constantly working – sometimes forcing you to struggle, and sometimes making sure you end up exactly in the right place at the right time.

6.  They let their fears numb them from life’s goodness.

“Numbing” is any activity that you use to desensitize your feelings so that you don’t experience vulnerability or hurt.  But by numbing yourself to vulnerability, you also numb yourself to love, belonging, empathy, creativity, adventure and all of life’s goodness.

Remember, every worthwhile venture in life – intimate love, friendship, a new business, etc. – is scary.  These things are inherently risky.  They are unsafe.  These things aren’t for the faint of heart.  They take courage.  And most importantly, they can’t coexist with fear.  When you open up to life’s greatest opportunities and joys it means you’re also giving life the opportunity to break your heart, but trusting that it won’t… that the risk is well worth the reward.

7.  They are addicted to avoiding themselves in the present moment.

This is something we all struggle with sometimes.  It’s also the root cause of nearly all of our unhappiness.

One of the hardest challenges we face in life is to simply live in our own skin – to just be right here, right now, regardless of where we are.  Too often we needlessly distract ourselves with anything and everything: food, booze, shopping, television, tabloid news, online social networks, video games, cell phones, iPods, etc. – basically anything to keep us from being fully present in the current moment.

We use compulsive work, compulsive exercise, compulsive love affairs, and the like, to escape from ourselves and the realities of living.  In fact, many of us will go to great lengths to avoid the feeling of being alone in an undistracted environment.  So we succumb to hanging-out with just about anybody to avoid the feeling of solitude.  For being alone means dealing with our true feelings: fear, anxiety, happiness, anger, joy, resentment, disappointment, anticipation, sadness, excitement, despair, and so on and so forth.

And it doesn’t really matter if our feelings are positive or negative – they are overwhelming and exhausting, and so we prefer to numb ourselves to them.  The bottom line is that we are all addicted to avoiding ourselves.  Acknowledging this addiction is the first step to healing it.  So begin today by just noticing with curiosity, and without judgment, all of the ways in which you avoid being in your own skin, right here, right now, in this present moment we call life.  (Read The Power of Now.)

8.  The grass isn’t greener anywhere else.

If you feel anxious because you constantly feel like you’re missing out on something happening somewhere else, you’re not alone.  We all feel this way sometimes – like the grass is greener somewhere else at this very moment.  But let me assure you, you could run around trying to do everything, and travel around the world, and always stay connected, and work and party all night long without sleep, but you could never do it all.  You will always be missing something, and thus it will always seem like something wonderful might be happening elsewhere.

So let it go, and realize you have everything right now.  The best in life isn’t somewhere else; it’s right where you are, at this moment.  Celebrate the perhaps not so insignificant fact that you are alive right now.  This moment, and who you are, is absolutely perfect.  Take a deep breath, smile, and notice the green grass under your own two feet.


Let me tell you a secret I’ve learned about happiness.  Nobody is happy all of the time.  It’s perfectly normal to experience considerable fluctuations in your level of happiness from day to day, month to month, and even year to year.  In fact, according to a recent scientific study, overall levels of happiness decline from one’s teens until one’s 40s and then pick up again until they peak in one’s early 70s.  So the chances are that your happiest days are yet to come.  Hopefully that gives you something to smile about today.

Your turn…

What would you add to the list?  What behaviors and beliefs often stand between you and happiness?  Please leave a comment below and share your thoughts with the community.

Photo by: Stephen Poff


  1. Will Sync says

    Serenity prayer:
    1) I can not change other humans. Their life belongs to them not me. Give up the insane idea you ever could. (Surrender)
    2) I have the ultimate power to change myself. No one can do it for me, just as I can’t do it for them. (Responsibility)
    3) This is the path to sanity and peace but it’s easy to forget. (Wisdom)

    The Classic version:
    God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change (others)
    the courage to change the things I can (myself)
    And the wisdom to know the difference.

  2. says

    I’ve found that lack of humility and a desperate need to tout one’s knowledge is a red flashing sign which indicates someone’s unhappiness. The more confident one is in one’s abilities, the less they feel the need to advertise them every chance they get. There are of course exceptions (like résumés, job interviews, competitions, etc.), but in day-to-day situations, I always respect the humble person.

  3. says

    I have experienced almost every factor you describe.

    One thing I cannot stress enough and totally agree with you on is that not everyone is always happy. We tend to fool ourselves into believing that the smiling person next to us is “happy”. No one knows what is going on in others lives.

    Great post.


  4. says

    Unhappy people thrive on their isms – negativism, skepticism, antagonisms, and many others.

    The problem is that they can be like magnets. In a noble effort to help them out, some people hang around.

  5. kathy h. says

    You are totally correct about the aging process and happiness. Trials and tribulations of life can make us unhappy, but it is ourselves who have to make the choice. We must choose tonot let unhappy situations bring us down. You have to be happy with yourself first and foremost! Great post once again!

  6. says

    As always, thank you so much for sharing parts of your stories with us. The insights you provide in your comments are just as valuable as our posts. Together, we really bring a topic to light.

    Instead of commenting to you each individually tonight, I wanted to briefly touch on something I thought about this weekend regarding this post. Although it may be obvious to many of us, it is important to mention that not all of us have healthy minds – i.e. some people struggle with deep seeded depression. The advice in this article is geared for the majority of us who are not dealing with this kind of medical ailment – for us happiness is a choice. For those who have been medically diagnosed with depression, or fear that they might be struggle with such an illness, I recommend seeing a medical professional who can further assist you. Depression is not something that should be ignored.

    Anyway, I hope you all have a lovely week. I just posted our latest article. I hope you enjoy it.

  7. Susan says

    I am constantly worried about real things that are happening right now. I don’t know how to control my worry. These worries have been going on for a year. My thoughts are exhausting me and it is leading to a high level of depression.

    Your article was good to read. Thanks.

  8. says

    Great advice here. I know that the times I have been unhappiest in life have usually been from a result of what you mentioned. Especially holding grudges…this is something I have worked on. Finally, I realized there is nothing I can do to change the past…so what does it matter. That has helped a lot.

  9. says

    You find what you look for. Look for reasons to be unhappy, there are plenty around. Look for reasons to be happy and you’ll find them, too. It’s just a matter of what you focus on.

  10. kris says

    Great list! I would add this to the list: inability to take responsibility for one’s own actions and consequences and blaming other people.

  11. Sayantan Roy says

    This is a good article.
    I would like to add a few points (if not mentioned by someone already):-

    1. Kindness & Helping others:
    We often demand help from others but we often forget this, but helping others creates a different self-satisfaction of its own. Helping anybody around us without anything in return spreads love across. Currently it is restricted to videos/messages only and seldom seen in practical.

    2. Complaining nature:
    We can’t have everything in life, we cannot do everything perfectly. Humans are prone to mistakes, and those mistakes creates experience. Complaining and passing the buck attitude leads to many other reasons of unhappiness mentioned in this article.

    3. Mistaking happiness with short term gains:
    We are too focused on short term gains, materialistic achievements, even short holiday tours, waiting for weekends to come, looking forward to parties and boozing as a source of happiness. We think that these are the moments of happiness. Are they actually are? Then happiness must be very short-lived which is not true. If we can bring out happiness from within ourselves, as mentioned in this article, then we shall stop depending on other people/things to be happy. We can enjoy each and every moment of our life.


  12. Julia Dennis says

    It has been a joy to read your post and all the comments above. I would just like to add something that changed my life – in case it would be useful to others.

    I was deeply unhappy between the ages of 13 and 34 with some depressions so severe, I was in hospital. What changed my life was a therapy called EMDR (eye movement desensitization and reprocessing). I had been brutally raped at the age of 13 and lost three close family member, went through a traumatic marriage, where I and my first child were abused. The trauma caused me to implode whenever stress became too great. I also suffered from low self esteem etc. The emdr reprocessed these life events from a place where they had become ‘stuck’ – like a tape playing over and over, and shifted them into memory.

    I can honestly say that over the past 15 years, instead of feeling that in my deeper core is a place of despair, this has been replaced by my inner core being a place bubbling with happiness – to the extent that I cannot help smiling walking down the street just because the sun is shining! I am a happily single parent to three wonderful sons, have my own house and run my own business in London. Believe me there were times in the past when a therapist had set me three tasks to achieve in a day – such as washing my hair. Nowadays people ask how I do all that I do!

    Of the points you mention, I think the most valuable to me is living in the present moment – because that is all we really have. Worrying about the future leads to anxiety and thinking about the past if it has been unhappy, leads to depression. The secret is to be fully in the moment and with enough of those wonderful moments strung together – you can look back on a happy and fulfilling life. I also admire Elizabeth’s comment. I have made my own job in life by following my passion – I am an artist, teach art and organize arts events for 5000 people. There is more than one way to feel rich in life – and meeting the people I meet and seeing the things I see, makes me feel richer than if I was a millionaire – which I’m not!

  13. Elissa says

    I would add blaming other people for your problems. That puts the onus on everyone else to change besides yourself. It keeps you stuck in a miserable cycle of self pity.

  14. lawson says

    Accepting responsibility for your own actions and not blaming others for your problems and failures. People rely on others to make them happy, when really the only person who can truly make them happy is themselves.

  15. says

    Believing my negative thoughts without investigating their validity keeps me from happiness. So many times my default setting is set to negative simply from former conditioning, and I allow these negative thoughts to march into my mind and take over. Out goes my happiness, along with my peace, and calm. I’m learning to “see”…to investigate without judgement, the negative thoughts that flow so naturally through me, this helps me to dispel ancient fears and unfounded phobias, and increases my sense of happiness!

    Thanks for this great post. I can always count on the two of you to say it simple and clear.

  16. says

    Nice points. BTW, out of the context : Happiness need to categorized like, healthy and unhealthy happiness. The happiness of a drunkard will be seen when someone offer him a bottle whiskey [unhealthy], but the happiness of a religious believer will be arriving the church, mosque or temple each day at time [believing in some blind spots, but still happy and healthy] 😉 happy opium for the masses! Lets reinvent the religions!

  17. Clair says

    Just wanted to say that I am a very happy person, but have never broken down why I am. I don’t think I’ve ever really let any of the things you listed bother me too much so I guess that validates your article!

  18. says

    Oh my goodness. This helped me so much. Thank you sooo much. I’ve bookmarked this article so that I can look at it any time I start feeling down or regretful.

    I’m seriously so glad I’ve read this.

  19. kellen says

    Loved the article: that’s a great list — and some great add-ons were made in the comments.
    Jip, there is a difference between depression and unhappiness. I have DI, and most people who met me would tell you I’m a fairly happy person. They’re right. The DI is a medical condition that I have to work around, the same way other people have to work around allergies or ADD or diabetes or any other chronic condition.

    My advice to anyone chronically unhappy is to see a doctor to eliminate any possible physical causes for their state of mind. As strange as it probably sounds, being diagnosed with DI was an incredible relief: I’d spent a decade beating myself up for not having the willpower to make myself change. Finding out that there was a reason for the way I was, that the way my brain was wired was something I just had to accept and work around was, for as corny as it sounds, the first day of the rest of my life. It hasn’t been all sunshine and roses, but people who don’t have DI aren’t happy all the time, either, and it’s infinitely better than feeling guilty and ashamed.

  20. Ted says

    Blaming others for one’s problems.

    We are all guilty of this at some point or another but it is a dangerous road to go down.

    Once we take responsibility for our own actions we are empowered to take action instead of making excuses and blaming others for our problems.

    …Thank u for the inspiration!

  21. Jean says

    Lately I’ve been submerging myself in painting and other forms artwork. I use art as expression to motivate and inspire others. I draw from my past and present experiences. I write and draw about the struggles I’ve had within myself and the struggles I’ve had with people throughout my life so far. I can actually reminisce and laugh at my pain. I don’t consider it as “holding a grudge”. My pain, happiness, misery, joy, & other emotions are explored territories.

    One thing I am familiar with is feeling wanted and accepted by the people around you. It’s an innate feeling to be wanted and cared for. If you think about it, that’s everyone’s primary but subtle objective. It’s OK to feel this ways. It’s wrong to manipulate, lie and hurt someone emotionally to accomplish self-gratification. We all have to find our own unique balance in life. The same rules don’t apply everyone. Finding happiness in oneself is to free yourself and look deep inside to find peace. Peace = Happiness.

  22. Colton says

    One of the worst things that unhappy people do is constantly compare themselves to others. You will never be good enough if you do that!

    Happiness is a choice. It is actually a series of choices a person must constantly make. It also comes from within. And everyone is capable of being happy.

    Honestly, I think some people prefer to be unhappy. It’s a safer and more familiar space for them.

  23. Bazeela Ashraf says

    Thanks a lot! This is a wonderful list and the comments were really great especially that of Julia Dennis. I am a teenager and I always feel like life has never given me enough. But the truth is very different. Actually I always think about the bad and negative things which estrange me from happiness. Yet what has comforted me a lot is solitude. I admire solitude for we, actually never give our own selves much time. Rather we expend our energy and resources in wasteful processes. Solitude is a beautiful thing to be with. You feel how important you are and the ideas of “humanly dependence” shun undeniably. Moreover it helps you to recognize yourself better.

  24. Mary says

    Wow!!! I have read a number of your posts before but this one really speaks to me. I went through a tremendous change in the last six months with letting go of a relationship that wasn’t right for me along with a job that was toxic. Every single point listed in this post described the person that I was. I still struggle with being self-conscious about what others think of me, but i’m working on it.

    If there is anyone that is reading this post and feeling like this describes them, for your own sake, do what it takes to make your life better. The work will seem very hard at times but it isn’t as hard as carrying around emotional baggage every day that will stop you from having the happiness that you deserve. I’m single and I’m looking for my next job which has tested me like nothing else, but I can tell you that I did the work and I have joy with a tremendous gratitude for the many blessing in my life. Each point listed above kept my spirit chained and happiness never lasted for very long. When I let it go and released myself, I realized that there is nothing better than standing where you are on your own two feet without needing anything to hold you up except your own spirit.

  25. StaceyK says

    Self-sabotage! Many definitions…always the same result. Can you elaborate on this? Why do we do it? It also adds to what may constantly make people unhappy when they are on the right road – but derail ourselves. We are more comfortable in the struggle – but do not know how to live a steady – no drama lifestyle. We are at our best when we are trying to get out of a hole – undo a disaster – react to a situation rather than deal with day to day responsibilities/ obligations on a normal basis.

  26. Frank Westgate says

    Great stuff – I remember being younger saying to myself “ I will laugh at least once a day” As I matured I became angry, and angrier eventually cursing everything and hating as much hate as I thought I could possibly hate. I ruined a lot for myself and for others… still blaming in any direction that would build up hatred. Part this is because “I do have to deal with depression” and the other part was my own doing. My own dad was always a happy go lucky guy and he didn’t like to see me so angry. My mother, she was more of a mixture; she could be very hateful to whoever or to the people she liked – a very well-likable person. Life has been mixture of rough roads and I have some good times to remember too.

    If you want to be happy you will find a way – but I don’t encourage being unhappy to the point of ruining yourself. “ if you can’t laugh once a day – I guess try to often… then one day you’ll be having a happy spell without thinking about it.

  27. Shawn says

    Perfect! I have been living in the “if only” rather than the present “is.” The if only was a bad, negative situation. The is is a supportive, loving situation. That is where my happiness will be.

  28. Thomas Toth says

    “In fact, according to a recent scientific study, overall levels of happiness decline from one’s teens until one’s 40s and then pick up again until they peak in one’s early 70s” – well goodness, this is going to be a looooonnnngg trip to 40.

  29. Kendra says

    I have been struggling to be happy, it seems that everything I’m doing is making me unhappy, I am 22 and have been through a lot more than most kids should have while growing up. I won’t get into that right now, my problem now Is when I make a mistake or make someone unhappy I hate myself for it. Its true I do not love myself the way I should. Right now I live with my boyfriend and his grandfather who we are taking care of. His grandfather is 89 with Alzheimer’s and dementia. I feel as if we have put a halt on our life, sometimes I feel that we are truely doing the right thing, and other times I feel as if we are being held back. My boyfriend and I take turns working and running errands while the other stays with grandpa. I am starting to become angry when he leaves and I cannot go with him. Please give me some advice or just motivational words. How can I make this an amazing experience rather than one I despise.

  30. Chad says

    @Kendra – I too have suffered from guilt at the most minor of mistakes. It’s buried in your subconscious from your days as a child to feel this way. I’m 41 & am guessing our childhoods mirrored each other in many respects. I would suggest two things – 1. research the subconscious mind and ways to overcome those thoughts & 2. try to catch yourself at the moment you’re thinking/feeling the guilt, realize that it is a creation of your subconscious & you DON’T HAVE TO FEEL THAT WAY….which is a tactic you will find through your research (guess I’m being redundant with the number thing).

    You probably have many reasons to be proud of yourself that you’re not allowing yourself credit for. Because of your post I know of one – just how many 22 year old women would sacrifice to help her man take care of HIS 89 year old grandpa? Answer: VERY, VERY FEW! This shows that you have a vast amount of empathy and love in your heart & (although I don’t know you personally) I am damn proud of you for that. The guilt you ALLOW yourself to feel blocks the joy you deserve for the love you are giving.
    Don’t worry as much about the right thing/held back conundrum. All we have is the present moment. The past is the past & the future may never be. You can drive yourself crazy with those thoughts. Do what you feel is right in your heart at each moment & trust it.

    While I believe you are doing great work, it is important that you tend to your own wants/needs as well. It’s about a balance that is hard for any of us to achieve, but one we must work towards.

    ABOLISH THE GUILT KENDRA! You don’t deserve any of it. TRUST YOURSELF, know that you’re not alone (ever) & may karma come back around and bless you many times over.

  31. Cindy says

    Most unhappy between 20-40… when you’re chuck full of hormones that control your mood… that sounds about right. :)

  32. Shir says

    I am in my late twenties, doing a double masters and starting a new life in Europe and have had moments of mind numbing unhapiness with the ”re-awakening”. Is all this pain worth it though? Is looking in the mirror and deciphering ”all the lies I tell myself” what we are all required to go through for the final breath of: wow I see the light? I hope it hurries up already!
    Loved the article though!

  33. angel says

    Yup, this post is for me. I knew why I was unhappy, but i was keeping it down inside because I was scared about what others thought of me. I retreated into an unsocial loner who wanted to take part in what was going on and be popular, but I was scared of the attention. Now, I realize to just go for it.

  34. Tomkitty says

    I searched for this article because there is a person in my life who makes me very unhappy. It became a source of self reflection. I think I only commit no 7 myself, I’ve made it past the other hurdles. I no longer care what others think, nor do I need validation. I am an orphan so one can imagine how difficult it was to find self respect, to stop begging for live from people who abused me, used me and abandoned me. I’ve learned to love myself, trust myself.

    I’m working on number seven. I need to live in the moment rather than the past or future. As E. Tolle points out, the past was always now, and the future will eventually be now.

  35. says

    One of the things I’ve noticed is that, as I approach 40, I feel like I can’t count on myself anymore. It feels like the old challenges are still present, but the energy, the guts, the malleability that got me where I am is fading. I guess it’s a natural part of life. Being open to whatever is thrown at you eventually gets replaced by being committed to those that depend on you. Control. That’s a big one. I used to get out of responsibility by not caring much about the benefits of it. So now I feel like I’m running out of time. Like I may never catch up to myself and my life if I can’t make some changes. I have this very strange mix of being very happy about my life will being filled with regret. I suddenly feel undeserving of what I have and I just wait for it all to be dissolved away. And I really can’t remember feeling this way when I was younger. But what I can sense is that this was below the surface all along. And the moment I couldn’t count on wit, energy, and a free spirit to bail me out…well. Here I am. No, actually I’m not sad. I’m not regretful. I’m terrified. I’m terrified that I’m not enough for my own life. What a strange thing to feel. Thank you for this very direct reminder that happiness is simple, it’s fickle, it takes work, and that’s ok. Because it got me thinking. And babbling. I’d love to wrap this up and make it inspiring. But…

  36. Vijay says

    I like the parts about “Avoiding oneself” and “the grass is greener on the other side”, how True, when comparing our lives we fail to see the beauty that is around us …

    A very encouraging article .

    God bless

  37. Dan says

    Here are two that I’ve struggled with, but it’s getting better:

    1) Projecting my shortcomings onto others. It’s a lot easier to get angry about the behavior of someone I can’t change than it is to work on myself. Furthermore, I have found that what aggravates me most about others are things that I really need to work on in my own life. As I work on improving myself, I find that the actions of others tend to bother me less and less.

    2) Replaying negative experiences over and over like a bad movie. I realized one day that I never replay the GOOD times….only the bad. Somehow, I thought that doing so would allow me to “change the past”, but it never has, and it has actually impeded my ability to move forward, live for today and plan for the future. Not that we should forget the past, but a lot more is to be gained by learning from it than reliving it and hoping to alter it. Let’s face it….no matter how many times you watch “Titanic”, the boat always sinks at the end.

  38. says

    For me, being unhappy has become a way of life. Finding myself doing things, like meeting new people, to motivate my feeling happy time is not working. I feel that, no matter how nice and careful I am when meeting a new friend it never ends well. They slowly drift away, it’s as if they get board with me. Even though, I am most of the time unhappy inside, I usually am a very social person who loughs and greatly enjoys company. Some times though, I compare myself to a big ancient whale who’s visible scars are there to stay and remind you that your personality trade has been compromised by the battles experienced since the beginning of your life.
    For me, happiness is a complex thing to obtain.
    Thank you.

  39. says

    You can choose to be happy or you will choose to be miserable.

    I just deleted everything I wrote. Why? I remembered that I don’t like pissing in the wind.

    Still, I have to say, the majority of the people out there in their 20s voted for the very folks who are to some degree the authors of their miseries.

    You reap what you sow.

    On the other hand, despite all efforts to the contrary by our government, the U.S. is STILL the best place to be.

    Anyone who will learn to live on 80% of what they make, become financially literate and disciplined enough to learn the difference between savings and investing as well as what a REAL necessity is versus a want can become financially independent before they are 50.

    But charging around with a pocket full of plastic blowing your money on WTFE because you are bored, stressed or lonely will not do it.

  40. Artchic6 says

    I shared this post with this comment above it:
    Seems that unhappy people truly want to go out of their way to hate people who are happy… It’s sad. I’m getting to the point in my life where I feel good about myself and I’m happy with who I am and if you don’t like, frankly, I don’t give a damn. Life is way too short to deal with people that seemed to be determined to be bitter, selfish and unhappy. I’m an empathetic person to be sure but sometimes you have to just know that walking away from the poison is the best solution.

  41. mroundy says

    Over the years ive tried to help many unhappy people find their happy place. What I found is that they gravitate to others who are unhappy as well. I found myself miserable and in some pretty bad situations. I dont let others unhappiness affect me any more and ive dropped alot of friendships because of it. My belief…eagles sore high…every so often we swoop down to pull some one up that we believe is worthy. Its a risk. Has many benefits when that person rises up and flies. But…dont stay down with them too long if they simply choose to remain in self sorrow because thats where their comfortable. Dont lose yourself in the process. Hard as it is…Pull yourself back up…someone else could benefit from your strength!

  42. Eugenia says

    Hi, im reading this because i considere myself a very unhappy person and it does not matter how hard i try, i can’t reach happiness. I wanna add something that happens to me all the time: though i have everything (a lovely husband, a healthy and smart son, nice house, i travel and have the chance to raise my kid because im a stay at home mom, my husband gives me everything i ask for) i feel like i need more to be happy and since this are my thoughts all day long, i can’t focus on what i have, because i keep thinking on what im missing, in this case i don’t live in my country and i miss my family. Thanks for sharing this amazing advices.

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