post written by: Marc Chernoff

20 Tiny Thoughts Crushing Your Biggest Dreams


20 Tiny Thoughts Crushing Your Biggest Dreams

It is ultimately only our own thoughts that hurt us.

The mind is your battleground.  It’s the place where the greatest conflict resides.  It’s where half of the things you thought were going to happen, never did happen.  But if you allow those thoughts to dwell in your mind, they will succeed in robbing you of peace, joy, and ultimately your life.  You will think yourself into a nervous breakdown, into depression, and into defeat.  I know because I’ve been there.

What can be done?  To start, say this to yourself every morning when you first wake up:

“I’m letting go of all the negative feelings, fears and thoughts from yesterday.  I have no room for them!  I will focus only on positive thoughts and resolutions today.”

And then practice what you preach.  It will gradually make a difference in your life, guaranteed.

Because truthfully, there is so much about your fate that you can’t control, it makes no sense to neglect all the things you CAN control.  You can decide how you spend your time, whom you socialize with, whom you share your life, money and energy with.  You can pick your words and the tone of voice in which you speak to others.  You can select what you will eat, read and study every day.  You can choose how you’re going to respond to unfortunate situations when they arise, and whether you will see them as curses or opportunities for growth…

And most importantly, you can choose your thoughts, which dictate pretty much everything else.

Train your mind to see the good in everything.  Positivity is a choice.  The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.

In other words, you are what you think.  You can’t change anything if you can’t change your thinking.

Here are twenty thoughts it’s time to change:

  1. “My dreams and goals can wait.” – Live a life you are proud of.  In the end, your greatest fear should not be of failure, but of succeeding at things that don’t matter to you.  We never tell ourselves that we will never live our dreams.  Instead we just keep talking about how we will start living our dreams tomorrow.
  2. “I don’t have time.” – Bottom line: “I don’t have time,” is really just another, perhaps politer, or perhaps naive, way of saying, “It’s not that important to me.”
  3. “I’m not talented enough.” – Learn the value of work and practice – just the repeated concerted effort to get better at things.  Forget the notions of talent and genius.  I can hear you thinking, “Oh, these other people, they just have something that I don’t have.”  When really, they are just people who work and practice more.  Understand this.  Work and practice are the keys to anything you want to do.  If you want to play the guitar – anybody can learn to play the guitar – you can be good at it.  Maybe you won’t be Jimi Hendrix, but you could be really good.  You can be good enough to write good songs or make music with others or whatever.  There’s no such thing as not having enough talent to get to that level.  Because persistence is talent, really.  Just sticking with it.  Talent is not stopping.  (Read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.)
  4.  “This problem is too big to solve.” – The problem is not the problem.  The problem is the incredible amount of over-thinking you’re doing with the problem.  Let it go and be free.
  5. “I’m not ready yet.” – The truth is nobody ever feels ready when an opportunity arises.  Because great opportunities in life force us to grow emotionally and intellectually.  They force us to stretch ourselves and our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel comfortable at first.  And when we don’t feel comfortable, we don’t feel ready.  But that doesn’t change the fact that sometimes the course of our lives depends on what we do or don’t do in a few seconds, a heartbeat, when we either seize an opportunity, or just miss it.  Miss the moment and you may never get a chance again.  So in case you never get a second chance, don’t be afraid!  And what if you do get a second chance?  Take it!  It’s as simple as that.
  6. “I knew I wasn’t good enough.” – Your struggle is part of your story.  Being rejected from something you want often means you are being directed toward something you need.
  7. “I’m a failure.” – Not trying is failing.  Everything else is just practice.  It’s OK if you mess up, that’s how you get wiser.  Give yourself a break.  And don’t give up!  Good things take time, and you’re getting there, one step at a time.
  8. “I just want everything to be easy.” – In every adversity there is a message.  Struggles and crises are nature’s way of forcing change – breaking down old structures, shaking loose negative habits so that something new and better can grow in their place.  So remember, just because you are struggling does NOT mean you are failing.  Every great success requires some kind of struggle to get there.  (Angel and I discuss this in more detail in the “Adversity” chapter of “1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.”)
  9.  “They have it so much easier than me.” – No one has it easier than you.  Every one of us is fighting our own private battles.  The strongest among us aren’t those who show strength we can see, but those who have won incredible inner battles we know nothing about.
  10. “I have nothing to be thankful for.” – Choose positivity today.  If you’re struggling to be thankful for what you have, think for a moment and be thankful for what you’ve escaped.  Honestly, it doesn’t really matter if your glass is half empty or half full.  Be thankful that you have a glass and that there’s something in it.
  11. “I have too many flaws.” – Wrong.  When you’re comfortable in your skin, even your flaws look beautiful.  And once you’ve embraced your flaws, no one can use them against you.
  12. “They don’t have what it takes either.” – We have enough critics.  Be an encourager.  One sincere word of encouragement after failure is worth more than a day of praise after success.  So start cheering for the people around you.  Not only will they feel empowered, but also what goes around comes around, and sooner or later the people you’re cheering for will start cheering for you too.
  13. “I don’t have time for anyone else.” – One of the most spiritual things you can do is embrace your humanity.  Connect with those around you today.  Say, “I love you,” “I apologize,” “I appreciate you,” “I’m proud of you”… whatever you’re feeling.  Send random emails and texts, write a friendly note, embrace your truth and share it.  Create a smile today for someone else… and give plenty of hugs.  This connectedness will strengthen you.
  14. “My closest relationships can wait.” – If you never stop to enjoy who’s beside you, someday you’ll realize you’ve wasted all your years looking for something, a sort of trophy you think you’ll get only if you really, really do enough to deserve it.  But then one day you’ll wake up and not want it anymore; you’ll want something else, something warm and sheltering, something you can turn to, regardless of what you do, regardless of who you have ultimately become.  Something that will just be there, always, like tomorrow’s morning sky.  And the only way to create this “something” is to nurture the amazing people in your life.
  15. “I can break my promise just this once.” – Be committed.  Commitment means staying loyal and keeping your promises, long after the time and mood you made the promises in has left you.  Doing so is vital to relationships and long-term success in every imaginable walk of life.
  16.  “One little lie couldn’t hurt.” – Lying is a vicious disease.  It spreads quickly.  And liars are the only people who expect acknowledgment for being honest.  Don’t be one of them.  Don’t lie.  Do the right thing, even if you are the only one who knows.
  17. “They care about me, but they are just too busy to keep their promises.” – It may be hard to accept, but when you are important to another person, they will always find a way to make time for you – no excuses, no lies, and no broken promises.
  18.  “I refuse to cry.” – We need never be ashamed of our tears.  Do not apologize or feel ashamed for crying.  Without this emotion, you are only a robot.  Crying is one of the highest devotional songs.  The ones who know crying, know what it means to be spiritual.  If you can cry with a pure heart – through forgiveness and acceptance – nothing else compares to such a prayer.  Crying includes all the core principles of humanity.  (Read Daring Greatly.)
  19.  “I refuse to forgive.” – Forgive the past.  It’s over.  Learn from it and let go.  People and situations are constantly growing and changing.  Do not cling to a limited, disconnected, negative image of a person or time in the past.  See your life now.  Your relationships and circumstances are always alive and changing.
  20.  “My heart has been broken too many times to take new risks.” – Sometimes it takes a heartbreak or a major letdown to shake us awake and help us see we are worth so much more than we are settling for.  Will letting go be hard?  Sure, but not nearly as hard as holding on to something that wasn’t real.  You have to put your heart out there.  Because the emotions that can break your heart are oftentimes the very ones that heal it and help it grow.

The floor is yours…

Truth be told, it is ultimately only our own thoughts that hurt us.

So think about it: What negative thoughts and destructive thinking patterns do you struggle with?

Leave a comment below and let us know.

Photo by: Lauren Rushing

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58 Comments

  • I struggle with judging myself in so many ways, especially my looks. It’s been a battle since I was a teenager, but practicing small gestures of self-love each day has really helped. I’ve been shifting my focus from simply seeing beauty as my outer appearance, to always seeing myself as a beautiful person, no matter how I look on the outside.

    Thank you so much for the encouragement you have given me over the past couple of years. You and Angel have been lifesavers to me. And you have also helped a close friend of mine. I bought her your book a few months ago and we have had several positive discussions about it (and her life) since then.

  • I often struggle with thinking that now is not yet the right time. I always put off taking the next step on the things I want to accomplish. In this area, you have helped me immensely. In fact, I now constantly remind myself with this affirmation: “Don’t put off living to next week, next month, next year or next decade. The only time you’re ever living is in this moment. LIVE IT, Jay!”

  • I really have to start forcing myself to smile on the inside and outside, and look at the good aspects of my life right now.

    I am just starting to take baby steps.

    Thanks for these reminders.

  • Great post. I have worked a great deal towards positive thinking and putting myself as priority and that is all thanks to you guys. Procrastinating on my work still sticks. Wish I could focus more and practice/work on my dreams.

  • Nice Post.
    I struggle with crying and forgiving. Both are difficult for me. I need powerful reminders to let go, such as without crying “we are only robots”.
    Thank you,
    Dewi

  • The voice in your head is not something YOU are doing, it’s something happening TO you. It’s based on long-term self-talk habits you must gradually change. Something we all need to wake up and work on.

  • Just as you say, I fully believe that mind is pliable and we can change how we think. Naturally, some of our patterns are very deep-seated so it takes time. Fear has been an ongoing thread in my life, but less so as I continue to see that most of the time it’s just another construction of my mind. Thanks for the encouragement to take hold of our negative patterns and turn them around.

  • I think probably 18/20 of these almost every day. Add in some more blatant ones like “I’m an idiot” and some other mean things I say to myself and that’s my thinking pattern.

    I am changing it though, learning to love myself and be nice to myself. Thinking positive has and is changing my life. It’s hard though, correcting 17 years of thought patterns, but I’m working on it.

    Thanks for another great post.

  • Wow! I am in love with your site. You are doing great job. Every single line here is so good and helpful. I really appreciate it.

  • I have battled negative thinking about myself for years, compliments of constant critique from my mom about how I would never be good enough, smart enough, and so on. The thought pattern has become so engrained that it has taken literally years to try and change. I do not have children but I have become too painfully aware of how a parents words can cause so much damage that lasts a lifetime. Thanks for the opportunity to share…

  • I needed to read this TODAY. Thank you for this kick in the butt. I’ve already journaled about it. Now to put it into practice. Thank you!

  • Wow, I think that all of us have struggled with one or more of these at one times in our life. For me, it was I don’t have the time. I have worked hard to create the margin that I need in my life to reach my goals, while maintaining the relationships with the people who matter most to me. Thanks for sharing!

  • I have been battling depression and anxiety, and the struggle I’ve been dealing with is this feeling that I am always going to feel this way.

    In my head I know this is not true- I have been down this path before and I have always gotten out of it. Everything is a temporary state, for better or worse.

    I have been trying to focus on the positive by choosing three things to be grateful for daily, but I am going to try to incorporate some more of your tips. You remind me there is a lot I can do still.

    Thanks :)

  • All this is me and then some. I am so guilty of making my life the way it is right now. I’m holding onto a thread of a so-called “relationship” with a woman who is so selfish and ungrateful. She never forgives anything and refuses to see the big picture. But I still hold onto hope that things will change. And all that just brings my self esteem crashing into the ground. I am so hard on myself and I blame me for everything. I need to get out of my dark bedroom of depression and out into the light of living. I have to stop thinking that I’m too far gone to turn it around. I just want to be happy again.

  • I super loved your words here. You are VERY WELL with words. I wish I could have the talent to write and to inspire people like you. Keep it up! I always love to read your very inspiring life messages. They help me a lot.

  • In recovery, I’ve learned that most of my fears are actually lies that I’ve acquired along the way. Here are some examples:
    - If you knew me you wouldn’t like me.
    - I’ll never amount to anything.
    - I’m not good enough.
    - I’ll never succeed.
    - The world is a scary place.
    - People are basically good.
    - I’ll never be able to measure up to my father’s standards.
    - My needs are not important.
    - I am unloveable.
    - My ideas, opinions and answers are not as good as everyone elses.
    - I don’t belong.
    - I dont’ fit.
    - If I rebel then I’ll get my way.

  • How does one become able to say, “I’m letting go of all the negative feelings, fears and thoughts from yesterday. I have no room for them! I will focus only on positive thoughts and resolutions today” without feeling like a phonie? I know I do when try. There is always that little voice that tells me this is bs. That things can’t go right anyway. *sigh

  • I’ve been stuck in a state of depression over a break-up. I have to let go of the past, move on, heal my heart.

    I just want to be happy again, but I’m realizing it’s really my choice. I can’t keep holding on thinking he’ll come back to me. He’s moved on. Now it’s my turn. I thought I didn’t deserve to be loved. I thought my life was over. I have to let go and be free.

  • This is a beautiful and fortifying post! I currently teach college writing, and I want to share these thoughts with my freshmen students. So many students arrive to campus afraid to fail, afraid to try. They need to embrace failure as freedom – failure as a chance to learn about themselves.

  • I too get negative thoughts often, but this morning’s exercise which you provided for letting go of the fears really helps me clear my mind a little.

    Thank you so much for wonderful post.

  • I struggle with my own self image and what I think I am capable of. I am beginning to see that it is the negative thoughts in my mind that hold me back. I don’t always believe those closest to me who remind me I am a beautiful, smart and loving person. I often see myself as ordinary in so many ways and doubt my capabilities. Thank you for putting your blog out there for others. It is positive and motivational not to mention it is a gift for those that struggle with whatever demon it may be inside or what life throws at us sometimes and knocks us off our feet. We all need to remember sometimes it is easier then others to stand back up and accept who and what we are and move forward in a positive way. We only have to believe in ourselves and give thanks for the good things in our lives. And find the good in the bad.

  • I struggle with number 17; they care about me, but are too busy to keep their promises.
    I am working on this one. Slowly, but surely ;)

    I love every article you write. You are so switched on and tuned in.

  • My limiting thought is, I won’t be able to keep it going. I’m currently in the position of a possible part time job (currently working full time), and part of me says, great, it would be an opportunity to really work on my bear making, make it pay, do it for the rest of the week. But then I remember that I have never stuck at anything, even the things I apparently enjoy, for very long. I get bored/fed up/run out of steam. And then a part time job wouldn’t pay me nearly so much. So I back away. All because I can’t stick at something.

  • Having recently left an abusive family (mother, brother, sister) I am struggling with becoming who I really am, because I’ve been brainwashed to be who they wanted me to be; subservient, inferior, not as smart. They always made me feel like taking care of myself was selfish. Being free of them is exhilarating, but their belief system, sick as it is, are chains that are coming off slowly. What holds me back from progress is how angry I am at them for their manipulative and controlling behaviors. Marc and Angel, I have overwhelming gratitude for your posts, thank you from the bottom of my heart!

  • Jennifer Bachman
    May 15th, 2014 at 10:40 am

    I struggle with being my own worse Judge and listening to the naysayers, which are my family.

    I love my family, but I need to start believing in myself and stop listening to anything negative they have to say. If I don’t I will never grow and better myself.

    Thank you Marc and Angel for the wonderful web-site. I really enjoy reading your articles. They have help make such a difference in my life and the way I think about myself.

  • I have always struggled with feeling ‘less than’, not good enough, unloveable, not smart, undeserving of all things good, if you knew the ‘real’ me you wouldn’t like me, and I’m so hyper-critical of myself. I really connect with much of what I read in your emails, although the most difficult piece is putting it in to practice. I have spent years treating myself poorly because of the script I have in my head. I realize that I have taken the anger my father had at himself and his dad (which was directed at me) and incorporated it into my beliefs about myself. Emotional support was not something I had growing up. My goal now is to learn how to be my own best friend.

  • May God bless each and every one of you who have posted here. We all have our own individual struggles and problems to overcome, and I hope and pray that all of you find the happiness you all deserve…

  • Great post. So much of this hits home. The last 15 years or so has been tough. I almost died twice due to a fluke heart virus and then 8 years later trying to fix the afib the virus caused. I’ve had a ton of other issues and despite getting out of law school have massive debt and a 17 year career that is unfulfilling. Anxiety and depression has come and gone. The reality is I have a wife and 3 great kids, a good house in a beautiful area and great family and friends. My issue is that the 15 years of what I perceive as horrible luck wore me down so I constantly see road blocks and have a hard time letting go to enjoy what is here. I feel like I chose the wrong career and am stuck because if the debt. When I want to turn it around I don’t seem to get out of the rut. I feel like I’ve had a lifetime of ills at 44 that most won’t see in their life. It’s frustrating because I want to feel better and do better for not just myself but family. Guess I need to work harder and work on concentrating that I’m now healthy and gave these great people in my life.

  • Congratulations on your enthusiasm and desire to share with as many people who need to hear words of support. Very helpful.

    A big hug from the southern hemisphere, in Chile.

  • To Lee: Thank you for your beautiful and warm comment. To you as well…

  • Wow…so many others in similar circumstances to my own. I love your site, and find myself buoyed by its daily affirmations and positivity. But today’s particular post is really something I’ve been struggling with. A long-term relationship that I valued highly fractured last year due to my honesty; I own that - yet no longer felt I could remain silent and expect things to get better magically on their own. This person chose to attack me and infect many of our mutual friends with cruel untruths. I initially cut off contact with him, and then, we both spent a great deal of time last year each taking turns attempting to reconcile. In December, it seemed as though we might. By January, it was clear that we wouldn’t. It has broken my heart many times over the past year and a half - and I often think that I will never recover. Neither will he, for each time we break someone’s heart, we break a piece of our own as well. It’s a daily struggle for me - this standing strong, and knowing that I didn’t do anything “wrong.” I’m a work in progress. And so, I hope, is he.

  • This blog is amazing and true - much needed advice to survive in the real world.

    Thank you for inspiring and educating us to live a mindful life.

  • I really look forward to your inspiring posts they give me a lift for the rest of the day . I always thought I was a positive person and saw the glass as half full but I’ve come to realise after an excruciating painful 6 months that my own thoughts made a situation 1000 times worse than what it was .. Luckily for me I have been given another chance which I was positive would never happen . I have learnt to banish negative thoughts as soon as they appear harder said than done but practice practice practice soon becomes a habit .. Thank you both I don’t think I could of done it with out you both x

  • Point 8 : ” Struggles and crises are nature’s way of forcing change”. Yes. But sometimes, struggles are natures way of telling you you’re doing it wrong. Not the goal maybe, but the approach/method. If the way you’re trying to achieve something is unremitting pain, have a think about whether there’s a better way.

    Point 17: “when you are important to another person, they will always find a way to make time for you”. This might be true, but’s terribly hard when you find no one ever makes time for you. All you can conclude is that no one actually cares. No wonder the lie is comforting.

  • So empowering. Thank you!!

  • It is ultimately only our own thoughts that hurt us

    :its like a revelation.

  • “5. I’m not ready yet.”

    Omg, it felt like you wrote that bullet point directly for me!

    I’ve missed so many opportunities because I thought I’d be better prepared after I delivered the baby (which I wasn’t ready for either) , after my baby was a toddler, after my toddler grew up, etc… but the truth is, the cycle never stops.

    I loved what you said about having the courage to seize the opportunity despite your reservations, to stretch, and grow, to reach for something just beyond your control because the truth is - unless you force yourself to be ready - you will just be sitting there on your behind missing all these opportunities that will take you in the direction of who you want to be.

    Thank you for another inspiring post. I’ve been lurking on your website for a couple years now - this one forced me to move off my behind and respond.

  • Great Post! I find myself being so much harder on myself than I ever would anyone else. Thanks for the reminder that you are what you think… Got to keep it positive.

  • Thought #2 really stands out for me. I work long hours, but recently made time for someone I’ve known for a few years, and didn’t know what a difference it would make. We spoke of our friendship, and we told each other how much it meant to us. We had never done that before. 3 days later he died suddenly. I had never given a thought to something like that happening. No way would I ever trade the money I would have made that day for the great conversation my friend and I had. I think that opened my eyes to see what is most important in life.

  • I thought I was a rare one with these problems. Now I realise many people have worse problems and if they improved, so can I.

  • I struggle with so many things. I never feel good enough for my family or my fiancé. I struggle with waiting for my mom to see how much I need her in my life during my struggle with ppd.

  • I have discovered your blog recently while searching for ideas how to live a life with passion. I am very impressed how most of the time you guys can get straight to the point of the issues presented. I like easy to read language and clarity of the text. Although, I am old enough to share my own wisdom, but I am still learning. Blogs like yours help people being aware of themselves and never stop improving. Keep up the good work!

  • @Susan Rae: Your story means the world to us. Thank you for spreading the love and inspiration. =)

    @Scott: It sounds like you know what you need to do. Start taking small steps every day to get there. Everybody deserves somebody who helps them look forward to tomorrow. If someone has the opposite effect on you, it might be time to let them go. I think it’s always better to be alone than to be in bad company.

    @Patrick: Thank you for sharing. I am sure many of us have said these lies to ourselves a time or two.

    @Stephanie: Don’t just say the words, believe it! This is your life, and it is made up entirely of your choices. Choose to let go of the negative feelings, choose to live a happier life through positivity and then do it! If you feel like a phony for the first couple of days, that’s ok, just keep doing it. It won’t happen overnight but you’ll feel more comfortable every day.

    @Melayahm: You have to try to stop reminiscing about the past. You might not be proud of all the things you’ve done in the past, but that’s okay. The past is not today. The past cannot be changed, forgotten, or erased. It can only be accepted. We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past. But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future. If you want to stick to something, you CAN!

    @India: Take small steps every day, and appreciate each of them for what they are. Separate the journey from the destination.

    @Lee: Beautiful, thank you!

    @All: It’s so wonderful to be apart of such a loving, honest, open community. Our vulnerabilities bring us together and remind each of every one of us, we’re not alone. It takes serious courage to push the limits of our vulnerability, to dig deeper and deeper into the core of who we are as a unique individual and not only love and accept the imperfect parts but also to expose them to someone else. Thank you for the continue support.

  • First, I want to say thank you. This post was fantastic!

    I suffer from horrible programming to the point where I pretty much am so worried and fearful all of the time. I had an upbringing full of destructive events and I’ve been trying to unravel them all of my life. Now that I’m almost 50, I still battle constantly with trying to be a better me.

    This list is so powerful.

    I resigned my job two years ago for two reasons. One, I worked for perhaps the most destructive and evil manager I’ve ever experienced in my life. Two, my dad was dying with cancer, a sudden diagnosis with short term of life left.

    I’m glad I resigned. I was there for my dad, then my mom. I took a long hiatus to help my family and to try and help me to heal.

    I’m now a part of the long term unemployed, struggling to survive.

    But you know what? With God’s help, I have experienced more love and friendship these past two years. I know in my heart that much of my life is better, while at the same time lack of finances are adding crushing debt and struggle.

    Life is too short, people are too valuable, and you are too important to hide your life away in a cubicle, or live in fear, or see the time in your life disappear while you don’t pursue the things that bring you happiness.

    I’m grateful to God for this adversity I’ve had. Yes, it is very hard at times. But in many ways, it has brought me closer to Him as well as my family (loving wife, four-legged son, mother, brother/sister, grandkids).

    It is so sad to see how many out there in this world have been so badly programmed. I think the reality is we all have struggles internally with self.

    The real choice is to put one foot forward each day, to try to not let the negative ways suck the energy and hope out of our lives. Yes, life is tough. Yes, life is full of adversity and struggle. But healthy thoughts rather than destructive ones will empower us to overcome those dark days and find rays of light and love, especially with God’s help through prayer. It may not be easy, and happiness is NOT a constant state of being. But your life can be so much better, even in hard times, if you fight the stinkin thinkin by using the ideas in this list of 20. they are powerful, and again I thank the author for putting them up.

  • THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SHARING THIS POST! Helped me a lot! I’m currently struggling of Anxiety and heartbroken.

  • I don’t. And am surprised that people today (especially women) fall into these traps with all the opportunities available to them.

    I am glad I was raised in the 60s and fought for equality for women in sports/workplace in the 70s. It’s called “life” and it is a roller coaster ride. Embrace all of it and don’t think too hard about it…just live it.

  • Number 21: It is too late because I am too old to learn everything I want to learn. I wish I had found my vocation when I was younger.

    Many (well, most!) of the points you make resonate with me. I have now followed your blog. I shall return for inspiration frequently!

  • Hey that’s a wonderful post on sharing the positive thoughts that we generally tend to forget when tough times come around. A strong belief on self is the best dose to have a worthy life. Thank you for sharing :)

  • Cathy Romanczuk
    May 25th, 2014 at 11:02 am

    I am glad I took the time to read this. I have terrible self-esteem and this speaks directly to me. I am so used to putting everybody else first that it is a difficult thing to change.

  • I have a wonderful husband, a good job, I am healthy and have a family that, though flawed, loves me very much. I have also struggled with anxiety and depression since I was a little girl. I can’t remember a time where I wasn’t afraid of life and the uncertainty it brings with it. If I could wish anything, it would be to walk out of this dark room I’ve been sitting in and be free. There are days when I almost make it out, and days when I fully make it out. There are also days when I am simply too afraid to leave that room because its become familiar, and that familiarity is a strange comfort when you’ve only been able to rely on about 30% of the thoughts in your head your whole life.

    Your post is a very powerful reminder that leaving that dark room, just as staying in it, are fully my choice. There are days when it just feels so hard, and I’m thankful for your words because it reminds me I’m not alone.

    I’m working towards a healthier, free state of mind and your words are helping.

  • Great tips to start a “new” life… in a nutshell.

  • I have struggled with thinking I was never good enough, handsome enough, smart enough even though I was a successful CFO and CEO .

  • I am trying hard to let go of the past, unleash the inner me and move on. I know I have a lot of potential to do my purpose on earth but they are just small things that are keeping from reaching my goals. I need to change my way of thinking cause that is were the problem is…thanks for such a powerful message.

  • Hello! Brilliant post. Your list is very helpful. Thank you! Sometimes we are our biggest obstacle. We need to just get out of our own heads. :) Have a great week!

  • Every word of this is golden…such good reminders for daily living and not giving up on your dreams. Something I say every morning before I start my day, is just a simple, “Thank You.” No matter what is going on, no matter how stressful things are in that moment, starting off the day just giving thanks makes all the difference in my mindset for the day–and reminds me of all I have to be grateful for. I also what you suggested, “I’m letting go of all the negative feelings, fears and thoughts from yesterday. I have no room for them! I will focus only on positive thoughts and resolutions today.” too! Awesome + Awesome. Thank you :)

  • I struggle with self forgiveness, which leads to a cycle of not being able to perform because of being angry at myself and then giving up on classes and taking them over and over again.

  • Thanks once again for your insights. When I heard my mother talk about the positives of a missing plane, I knew I could try to see the positive about anything. I have been experimenting with it and my stress levels have gone way down. My mental model for just about everything is that things happen for a reason and since we cannot really control anything outside of our own thoughts and decisions I give all that that up to a higher power and accept without fear. This keeps me moving forward in all sorts of conditions and environments and allows me to be open to all opposing views and a wide range of what we call “facts.” Multiple perspectives is intellectually, spiritually and emotionally a more rational platform from which to experience the universe.

  • Thanks once again for your insights. When I heard my mother talk about the positives of a missing plane, I knew I could try to see the positive about anything. I have been experimenting with it and my stress levels have gone way down. My mental model for just about everything is that things happen for a reason and since we cannot really control anything outside of our own thoughts and decisions I give all that that up to a higher power and accept without fear. This keeps me moving forward in all sorts of conditions and environments and allows me to be open to all opposing views and a wide range of what we call “facts.” Multiple perspectives is intellectually, spiritually and emotionally a more rational platform from which to experience the universe.

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