You can’t lift a thousand pounds all at once, yet you can easily lift one pound a thousand times. Small repeated efforts will get you there this year.
Throughout a decade of life, relationship, and small business coaching, Angel and I have witnessed people reinventing themselves at all ages — 48-year-olds starting families, 57-year-olds graduating from college for the first time, 71-year-olds starting successful businesses, and more. How did they do it? They started making gradual progress in their lives, step by step. And by doing so, they changed the trajectory of their their lives.
What you need to remember most right now is that it isn’t too late or too early to start making positive changes in your life this year. Your future is always affected by what you start doing today. Yet so many people wait around for some arbitrary date and time, like next year, to take action. Don’t be one of them! Don’t stall on yourself! It’s time to…
1. Start putting your heart and soul into the things you do.
There’s a big difference between empty fatigue and gratifying exhaustion. This year aim for the latter. Too often we wait around because we think we need to “find” something new or different to be passionate about, but that’s not true. If you want more passion and satisfaction in your life, act accordingly right now. Put your whole heart and soul into the next thing you do. Not into tomorrow’s opportunities, but the opportunity right in front of you. Not into tomorrow’s tasks, but today’s tasks. Not into tomorrow’s run, but today’s run. Not into tomorrow’s conversations, but today’s conversations…
In the end, purpose is the reason you journey and passion is the fire that lights your way. So start believing in your heart that you’re meant to live each day full of purpose and passion — that each and every moment is worthy in its own way. I’m absolutely certain you have plenty in your life right now that’s worth your time, energy, and passionate focus. You have people and circumstances in your life that need you as much as you need them. You have a massive reservoir of passionate potential within you, just waiting. Stop waiting! Put your heart and soul into what you’ve got right in front of you! Become it, let it become you, and great things will happen for you, to you, and because of you.
2. Start stretching yourself in the right ways.
Again, many great things can be done in a day if you don’t always make that day tomorrow. Will it always be easy? No, but remember that when you’re struggling to make progress that’s when you actually are. You want to be stretched to the edge of your ability — it needs to be slightly hard and uncomfortable sometimes. Of course most of us don’t want to be uncomfortable, so we subconsciously run from the possibility of discomfort. The obvious problem with this is that, by running from discomfort, we are constrained to partake in only the opportunities within our comfort zones. And since our comfort zones are relativity small, we miss out on most of life’s greatest and healthiest experiences, and we get stuck in a debilitating cycle.
Choose differently starting today! Go to environments that expand your mind. Spend time with people who inspire you to stretch yourself. Read books. Grow. Get better. The rest of this year is in your hands.
3. Start subtracting what doesn’t belong in your life.
When you discover something that nourishes your soul and brings you joy — something that truly matters to you — care enough about yourself to make room for it in your life. And if you find that you don’t have enough time for what matters, stop doing things that don’t. In other words, start subtracting what isn’t working for you from the get-go this year.
Every time you subtract negative from your life, you make room for more positive. Let that sink in. When things aren’t adding up in your life, begin subtracting. Life gets a lot simpler and more enjoyable when you clear the emotional and physical clutter that makes it unnecessarily complicated. And there’s so much you can let go of in life without losing a thing. It’s called growth. Letting go of the old makes way for the new. Letting go of what isn’t working makes way for what will. When the pain of holding on is worse than the pain of letting go, it’s time to let go and grow.
4. Start upholding your boundaries.
Not all toxic relationship situations are agonizing and uncaring on purpose. Some of them involve people who care about you — people who have good intentions, but are toxic because their needs and way of existing in the world force you to compromise yourself and your happiness. They aren’t inherently bad people, but they aren’t the right people to be spending time with every day.
You simply can’t ruin yourself on a daily basis for the sake of someone else. You have to create boundaries and make your well-being a priority. Whether that means breaking up with someone, loving a family member from a distance for a little while, letting go of a social obligation, or removing yourself from a daily situation that feels painful — you have every right to create some healthy space for yourself this year. (Note: Angel and I discuss this in more detail in the Relationships chapter of “1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently”.)
5. Start leaving other people’s judgmental opinions alone.
When it happens, be sure to tune out the cheap shots people take at you. Don’t waste words on people who deserve your silence. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is nothing at all. So before you waste it on anger, spite, or frustration, think of how precious and irreplaceable your time is, and carry on with grace.
When Angel and I first started writing on this blog, I’d agonize over whether people would think what I was writing was good enough. I desperately hoped they’d like it, and oftentimes I’d catch myself imagining they didn’t. Then one day I realized how much energy I was wasting worrying about it. So I’ve gradually learned to relax with simply not knowing. Some problems in life, such as not knowing what others think of you, are not really meant to be resolved.
What you need to remember is that you can’t control how other people feel, or how they receive your energy. Anything you do or say gets filtered through a mindset occupied by whatever they are going through at the moment, which likely has nothing to do with you. Just keep doing your thing with as much love and passion as possible.
6. Start embracing your humanness.
“Human” is the only real label we are born with, yet we forget so easily. To become attached to a loaded label of overweight, divorced, diseased, rejected, or poor, is to be like the rain, that doesn’t know it is also the clouds… or the ice, that forgets it is water. For we are far more than the shape we’re currently in. And we, like the wind, water, and sky, will change forms many times in our lives, while forever remaining beautifully human.
So forgive yourself for the bad decisions you made, for the times you lacked understanding, for the choices that accidentally hurt others and yourself. Forgive yourself, for being young and reckless. These are all vital lessons. And what matters most right now is your willingness to grow from them.
Once we forgive ourselves and fully embrace our humanness, it’s almost funny to see how seamlessly we can adapt to life’s transitions — how we outgrow what we once thought we couldn’t live without, and then we fall in love with what we didn’t even know we wanted. Take this to heart. And don’t forget to pause regularly to appreciate how far you’ve come. You’ve been through a lot, and you’ve grown a lot too. Give yourself credit for the steps you’ve taken, so you can step forward again with grace.
7. Start reminding yourself of why every step matters.
In the end all the small things make a big difference. Every step is crucial. Life isn’t about a single moment of great triumph and attainment. It’s about the trials and errors that slowly get you there — the blood, sweat, tears, and the small, inconsequential things you do on a day-to-day basis. It all matters in the end — every step, every regret, every decision, every minor setback and minuscule win.
The seemingly useless happenings add up to something. The minimum-wage job you had in high school. The evenings you spent socializing with coworkers you never see anymore. The hours you spent writing thoughts on a personal blog that no one reads. Contemplations about elaborate future plans that never came to be. All those lonely nights spent reading novels and news columns and comic strips, questioning your own principles on life and sex and religion and whether or not you’re good enough just the way you are.
All of this has strengthened you. All of this has led you to every success you’ve ever had. All of this has made you who you are today. And all of this proves that you have the strength to deal with the challenges in front of you. So keep giving yourself grace, and carry on. (Note: “The Good Morning Journal: Powerful Prompts and Reflections to Start Every Day” is a great tool for this kind of self-reflection.)
Now, it’s your turn…
Yes, it’s your turn this year! I hope you will have a delightful one, that you will dream boldly and dangerously, that you will leverage the reminders above to create something that didn’t exist before you took action, that you will love and be loved in return, and that you will find the strength to accept and grow from the outcomes you can’t change. And, most importantly (because I think there should be more kindness and wisdom in this crazy world), that you will, when you must, be wise with your decisions, and that you will always be extra kind to yourself and others… for the rest of 2024 and beyond!
But before you go, please leave Angel and me a comment below and let us know what you think of this essay. Your feedback is important to us. 🙂
Which one of the points above resonated the most today?
Finally, if you haven’t done so already, be sure to sign-up for our free newsletter to receive new articles like this in your inbox each week.
Judy Cotter says
Fantastic read for me today. It’s a long story, but I am on a path of discovery this year again at age 57, and adhering to this essay will surely help me find a few of the right paving stones. Thank you. Onward!
Rhonda G. Patterson says
Just what I needed to hear. The thoughts on self forgiveness brought a couple of tears. Thank you.
Miles says
What an uplifting article, and , at age 71, most timely. I have been beating myself up lately for past decisions and mishaps . I never realized I have permission to forgive myself and look up.at the stars. Thanks so much for this insightful article. It’s time to enjoy life
Rene says
Thank you! I can resonate with everything said in your post here. You hit the nail on the head! I have been struggling with living MY life and the “aha” moment was when I woke up and realized I had lost my passion and purpose on the daily! We get lost in life by accommodating everyone else. Two years ago at age 49, I went back to school for my MBA, and it was a life-saver for me. It woke me up and now at age 51 with new degree and a new direction. Not only have I improved myself academically and professionally, I have rediscovered some of my passion and purpose. I’m taking life “On to the Next” this year 100 percent!
Samson Midigo says
Thank you for sharing this. You have nailed for me on every one or the the 7 essentials things discussed above, plus a great deal more.
Angie Emde says
For many years I followed my own path, traveled, got married, had kids, traveled some more. Somewhere along the way I started listening to the people around and I fell into a routine and society’s way. I got lost and discouraged but am now grateful to subtract things from life and am making my life more my own again. This is definitely coming about from swimming in new rivers. Thank you for the inspiration and these reminders today. Your weekly emails and essays have helped me stay on track over the past year or so.
Rudy says
I like this post because I think it encourages people to just be more of themselves, and start the year on a more sincere and focused note.
I think that something I have to work on more in my life is the ability to make mistakes. It’s okay to make mistakes–fail forward–and I think that sometimes I have to remind myself that, and really appreciate on the freedom to do so!
Robert okiria says
Number 7 resonated the most today. Great food for thought as we enter we get fully established in the year’s undertakings.
MJ says
I’m 75 years young today and I fully embrace your philosophy. Thank you for putting yourself out there for the rest of us. It take constant reminders to appreciate our gifts. I feel this year is going to e a good one for me.
Lynn says
At 72 I am trying to make my life my own this year. I resonate with the commenters before me too. Thank you for all your words of wisdom.
Janet amann says
Love the article Actually all of it was with thought and insight for me. It’s what I have been working on and feel I’m on the right track, a work in progress lol Thank you for making it easier to understand and giving me even more food for thought.
Cynthia says
“Embracing my humanness” – that hits home with me. I’m always too ‘something’ whether from my point of view or someone else’s. What a wonderful reminder to be grateful for the experience of just being a human being and forgiving yourself for the goof-ups you made in life. Thank you. I really appreciated that.
Arianne Comple says
It’s always a delight to read essays work, M&A. It’s longer than I would normally take time to read but it is absolutely worth it every time. So much wisdom and real life experiences in your words. I highly recommend your work to others, especially to those who are needing guidance in life. The final two points in this one really stuck a chord with me today too.
Barbara Vargas says
Thank you both so much for this inspiring reminder to really live each day and not just simply exist. I normally do not take time to read through blogs, but I am so glad I made the choice to read this one. (it certainly won’t be my last) I am experiencing some self-reflection and change in my own life that I continue to doubt my decisions on. This helped to give me the confidence to push forward. Have a beautiful day!!
Capt Dave says
“…the pain of discipline this year or the pain of regrets. The main difference is discipline weighs ounces while regrets weigh tons.”
-Jim Rohn
Roxann says
Thanks for your writings…I love lists and self-improvement ideas, so you meet both needs…I am keeping a journal of some of them to refer back to….today’s will definitely be one of them!
Gideon says
Enjoyed reading this essay. It has spoken to me in more ways than one. I will use some of the advice to tackle the year ahead.
Thank you.
Diana says
3 really spoke to me. I am working hard to clear out the negatives and make room for the positives. You and Angel are doing incredible work and helping so many. I found yours and Angel’s work online only 2 weeks ago and you are making a positive difference in my life. Thank you both!
Michele says
Forgiving yourself is essential regarding past mistakes. We don’t know what we don’t know. However, making amends is essential for the soul as well.
Patty says
Michele
I am all about apologizing and making amends. However I have learned that there are people who refuse to forgive and to move forward. When this happens I feel even more broken and in some cases have made multiple apologies (for small things) and they stubbornly refuse to communicate. I guess all one can do is to do the right thing and stay on the high road. As the article points out we cannot control their response or behaviour. It mystifies me how some people feel so sanctimonious.
Susan Stephens says
Thank you for writing this article at a crucial time in my life. I have cancer (stage 3) but in remission. Thank God. My back pain is constantly acting up. Time for me to stand up straight and move on. Thank you.
Gina says
Thank you!! You have brightened my day and tomorrows with your wisdom and practical suggestions here.
Geraldine says
Love your articles. It’s number 5 for me this time.
Zeena says
I really enjoyed reading this positive, motivating article. I always read your articles but this is my first time leaving a review because this one in particular resonates with my heart and emotions right now at this moment. After 13 years of marriage I’m going through a divorce process. I moved from NYc my hometown to Houston TX last year alone to restart my life and a new chapter of my life. I’m 40 years and feel like I’m still 21 and very happy with my job and blessed in life. Just getting this divorce finalized is my 1st priority, I just recently got my motorcycle license very excited. I have a 13 year old daughter with my husband but I will not fight over custody or or of his money or anything, I just want a apaper saying I’m divorced so I can move on. Keep me in your prayers and look forward to all your beautiful articles in the near future. ?
Mary says
Thank you so much for this reading today.
Each one was most inspiring to me. At 75 I am going through a difficult time with family member that has caused much pain to entire family. I continue to pray for resolution.
I look forward everyday for your messages. Thank you and God bless you both
John Hardy says
Hello Marc and Angel, happy new year.
Number 5 is the big one for me. To me, that is a mind your own business issue, unless you are a professional therapist who is paid to do this, then people need to get involved with other’s decisions.
Great articles as always.
Jinelle says
Two points that resonated the most with me were: subtracting the negative and making room for the positive and the power of saying nothing when persons try to offend you. Thanks for the article.
Beverly says
I have had a difficult last few months. Having been diagnosed with a chronic lung disease that requires oxygen and use of a nebulizer, I felt my life was slipping away. In the last few days, it had become clear to me that I’m wasting my life. #1 resonated with me. Instead of just waiting around for this disease to end my life, I’ve decided to start putting my heart and soul into the interests that are near and dear to me. This disease has made me feel my mortality and at 78, I have realized I still have a lot to offer, but if best start doing it now.
Marianne says
Thank you for the wisdom and insights you share. Your words are encouraging and helping me and others get through each day, with hope. My energy is renewed.
I pray I will live this year with these 7 insights you have shared. Especially with passion!
God bless you.
Elizabeth says
Very uplifting words…I like the thought of subtracting what doesn’t belong in my life. Your column helps me put a positive perspective on things that aren’t working in my life and encourages me to accept myself for being human. Thank you.
Sharon Bertsch says
I had my life planned before the pandemic changed my plans. Now is my time to make my plans again. I am struggling, it is difficult, yet, I am determined. Last week, my good friend passed. She had done this for herself. I am finding out what I want for my future, at 72. The things that worked for me ten years ago, are not what is helping me now. I am starting by giving away the excess stuff. And, the truly toxic people in my life…are gone forever, no contact.
Catherine says
This is a profoundly enriching article with so many nuggets. I particularly resonated with “Embracing our Human-ness”. It is true, in life we are human first and I see to forget that. And despite the labels I give myself or others give me, I am human first and I will exist in so many forms in this life. I felt this liberating the hard stance I take to who I should be forgetting, first, I am human. I can’t explain it but wow, mind blown!
Lou says
Wisdom and excellent I sometimes forget my humanness and forgiving myself. Thank you, they all resonate with me.