“Nothing can dim the light which shines from within.”
?Maya Angelou
“My dad is a blind cancer survivor. He lost both his eyes when he was in his early 30’s to a rare form of cancer. Despite this, he raised my sister and I, and took care of my mom who was in and out of rehab for alcoholism and depression. My mom is a fully recovered alcoholic now, my sister and I have graduated college, and my parents are still together and back to being happy. I’m certain none of this would have been possible if my dad hadn’t been such a resilient, positive force in our lives. My dad’s mental strength literally saved our family.”
Those are lines right out of an email I received this morning from Kristin, a new course student of ours (I’m sharing this with permission). Her portrayal of her dad is both inspiring and a wonderful reminder of the importance of inner resilience. With enough mental strength, an ordinary human being can be an extraordinary hero.
And you don’t have to be born mentally strong either. You can develop this vital trait with practice. Here are five key things people with remarkable mental strength do daily:
1. They use passion and love to fuel their drive to get the hard things done.
Life is not easy, which is why you have to do hard things to be happy in life. The things no one else is doing. The things that frighten you. The things others can’t do for you. The things that make you question how much longer you can hold on and push forward.
Because those are the things that define you. Those are the things that make the difference between existing and living – between knowing the path and walking the path – between a life of defeat and a life filled with happiness and success.
Adversity is an inevitability, and it’s much like walking in to a turbulent windstorm. As you fight to push through it, you not only gain strength, but it tears away from you all but the essential parts of you that cannot be torn.
Once you come out of the storm you see yourself as you really are in raw form, still holding the passions and values that move you, and little else. These are the lusts that matter – the inner love and vows that define you. It is this kind of love that drives you forward and even when the going gets tough. It is this kind of love that strengthens the mind, body and soul. (Read The Road Less Traveled.)
2. They focus their energy solely on what they can control.
There’s a quote I’ve always loved that’s often credited to Ignatius: “Pray as if God will take care of all; act as if all is up to you.”
That’s a strong way to live. It’s about using your faith to fuel positive action.
And the same premise applies to luck too. Yet, many people feel luck has everything to do with where they stand in life – whether their lives are happy or sad, successful or unsuccessful, etc. If life is good, luck favored them, and if it isn’t, luck was against them. But that’s not the whole truth.
Mentally strong people know that good luck plays some role in their happiness or success, but they don’t wait around for good luck to strike, or sit around worrying about the possibility of bad luck. They do what they can right now with the hand they’ve been dealt. Incredible progress happens in our lives when we decide to take control of what we do have power over instead of craving control over what we don’t.
The truth is, 10% of your life is decided by uncontrollable circumstances and 90% is decided by how you react to those circumstances. By not wasting mental energy worrying about what should have happened, or what might happen, you can put all your effort into making the right things happen to the best of your ability. (And then if you do get lucky, hey, you’re even better off.)
Bottom line: You cannot control everything that comes your way, but you are in absolute control of how you react to it. And that changes everything.
3. They make every action a positive one.
The most effective way to prevent what’s negative is to promote what’s positive. The best way to influence bad behavior is not to control, regulate or demand, but to inspire, motivate and lead by example. You get more reward from your efforts when they’re applied in a positive direction. So instead of rebelling against what you dislike, work to build and support what you value and admire.
The answer to despair is not to despise it, for that only adds fuel to the fire. The answer is to overwhelm it with goodness, love and proactivity. Focus your attention and energy on what’s working, and make more of it. Praise what’s good and right, useful and valuable, and help it grow stronger. Nurture and promote what you love about life. Delight in the good things, and give the full power of your awareness to them.
Be a positive force by acting with positive resolve. Ultimately, happiness comes a lot easier when you stop complaining about your problems and you start being grateful for all the problems you don’t have. Although every day may not be good, there’s always something good about every day. Appreciating these good things, and feeding off their positive energy to create positive action, is what makes a good life in the end. (Read Begin with Yes.)
4. They are relentlessly consistent.
Years ago, when I was extremely focused on weight lifting and physical strength training, I gradually learned that you can’t be truly committed to any goal if you have a weak mind. To combat this, I wrote two simple questions on two different post-it notes and stuck one on my bathroom mirror and the other inside my gym locker:
- How many workouts have you missed because your mind, not your body, told you that you were too tired?
- How many workout reps have you skipped because your mind, not your body, said, “Nine reps is enough. Don’t worry about the tenth”?
To this day, the answer to both questions is probably thousands for most people, including myself. Weakness of the mind is a real dream killer, and the only way to fix this weakness is daily practice.
Far too often we think that mental strength is all about how we respond to extreme circumstances. How did she perform on stage during that nationally televised event? Did he bounce back after his business partner betrayed him and bankrupt their company? Can she keep her life together even after suffering from a major, debilitating physical injury?
There’s no doubt that extreme circumstances test our bravery, determination and mental strength, but what about common, daily circumstances?
Just like every muscle in the body, the mind needs to be exercised to gain strength. It needs to be worked consistently to grow and develop over time. If you haven’t pushed yourself in thousands of little ways over time, of course you’ll crumble on the one day that things get really challenging.
But it doesn’t have to be that way.
Choose to get to the gym when it would be easier to sleep in. Choose to do the tenth rep when it would be easier to quit at nine. Choose to create something special when it would be easier to consume something mediocre. Choose to raise your hand and ask that extra question when it would be easier to stay silent. Prove to yourself, in a thousand little ways, that you have the guts to get in the ring and wrestle with life.
Mental strength is built through lots of little victories. It’s the individual choices that we make on a daily basis that build our ‘mental strength’ muscles. We all want this kind of strength, but you can’t think your way to it. You have to do something about it religiously. It’s your daily actions that prove your mental fortitude.
The bottom line is that when things get difficult for most people, they find something easier to do. When things get difficult for mentally strong people, they find a way to stay on track. (Angel and I discuss this in more detail in the “Productivity” and “Adversity” chapters of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)
5. They act as if what they do makes a difference.
And it does!
This is perhaps the most fundamental way people with remarkable mental strength change the world. And you can be one of them!
What really matters in life is not what we have, but how we use it; not what we buy, but what we build; not what we own, but what we share with the world; not our capability, but our character; not our success, but our true significance. Live a life that makes you proud – one that matters and makes a difference.
- Your positivity will inspire the world today – let it ring loudly and frequently.
- Your gratitude will give life its beauty today – express it.
- Your efforts will make life richer today – be generous.
- Your passion and love and curiosity will make a whole new set of experiences possible – open your heart and mind.
You get the idea…
You are needed. You are significant. Whatever you do will matter immensely, going far beyond you and coming back in profound ways you can’t even imagine. So always go above and beyond, especially for those who need you the most. In a world full of people who couldn’t care less, be someone who couldn’t care more.
Your turn…
What’s one habit or belief that has helped you stay mentally strong through good times and bad? Or on the flip side, what’s one habit or belief that has slowed you down and weakened your mental strength? I’d love to hear from you. Leave a comment below and share your thoughts and insights.
Photo by: alex-stoddard
Megan says
Great post and is exactly what I was meditating on in my journal this morning (a practice I picked up from your advice).
What I’d add to the “beliefs/habits that slowed me down” category is not believing in yourself enough and thus believing you need the approval of others to lead the life you want. My biggest mistake was in relentlessly believing my life should be run like a democracy where everyone has a say and a voice, where I have to campaign for what matters for me, where I have been outvoted. Well… that is a thing of the past, never again.
Thanks for the continued guidance. Your emails and posts are truly enriching!
MES says
Great insight. Your comparison to a democracy really hit home, and was just what I needed to hear today. Thank you for sharing.
Bo says
Both of my children when they were little got to an age when they would say ‘you’re not the voice of me’.
It strikes me that this is a life lesson that many of us sadly forget as we grow older. Remembering this and embracing the concept that this ‘is my movie’ gives control back and can go a long way to helping us lead less stressed, more contented lives
Sarah says
One thing that has kept me going: “I’m not dead yet, so what can I do to make sure I don’t keel over tomorrow?!”
The downfall thoughts: “I’ve lost all of my identity of my past, and all potential for my future”
This comes from losing my parents within a year of each other. As an only child, it is difficult to communicate with others outside they sympathy they are willing to offer. Empathy in this situation has been nil-to-none only because very few people understand what it means to lose your only context of your past when it is held in the relationship of the only-child’s experience with both their parents and what it is like when that relationship was strained in whatever way. Not many people can understand this, but everyone is wanting you to move on and let-go and heal and grieve and be happy. It’s %$#$%# hard though because what these same people don’t realize is that there is no one to compare notes with, no sibling to stand by you and say “we survived and they are at peace”. I’m extraordinarily lucky I have an unbelievable amazing partner I have learned what “love” really entails and includes. He was with me throughout my parents painful loss, but was also their throughout our losses of my losing our 4 pregnancies. It is paralyzing, it makes you want to escape and yes, it makes you stronger. But I’m constantly fighting that which is my truth which s “I’ve lost my past and my potential for future” so moving forward, creating the new story is very intense and challenging. No one can understand it unless they have been through a similar aspect of the process I have. It just doesn’t work for someone to say, “I’m sorry” because it makes one (me) angry) because they just don’t know what it is to REALLY have to deal with their own identity to such a maximized level you feel like an atomic bomb keeps hitting you every day you’re figuring out how to grieve. yoke wrong choices along the way, choices that hurt people you love, and hopefully those people hang around long enough for you to realize you know how to come up for air. So in a nut shell, articles like this, evry little one, makes a difference because if I can feel some sort of inspiration to get up and find happiness and create artistically. Then by whatever g-d exists or universal fatness, it will happen with the mental discipline required. Mental discipline is a tough thing to learn, but one has to if they’re going to survive and be successful in a way that heals all the sadness.
J.J. says
Such a spot on post, guys. When life gets tough and I feel stressed I stay mentally strong by remembering that we can’t always control what happens to us, but we can control how we react. I just try to stay in the moment and not let my thoughts and feelings get the best of me. That’s easier said than done sometimes but it does get easier with patience and practice.
As I’ve said before, your “1,000 Little Things” book has been instrumental in getting my mindset right. I’ve used it religiously for quick daily reminders (reading or re-reading a page or two). And “The Power of Now”, which you often recommend on this blog, is what helped me learn to practice presence. So thank you, again.
Marc Chernoff says
Thank you for the continued support.
Paul D says
The first point hits home with me at this moment. Perfectly stated in my opinion. The idea that things should be easy is something I hear friends talking about too often these days. Success in life is about personal responsibility and effort. Too often, I think, we find that telling everybody that they’re special makes people think they have a right to ‘easy’ success in this world, when in reality success is something you have to fight for and achieve step by step, every single day.
This is something I actually used to struggle with. And I’m glad I’ve switched gears over the years.
Sandra Pawula, Always Well Within says
That’s such an inspiring story! These are powerful “rituals.” I especially connect with 2-4, focusing on what we can control, making every action a positive one, and being consistent. I want to tape these up in a visible place.
Marc Chernoff says
Do it, Sandra! 😉
Christine says
One belief that’s helped me: “Energy doesn’t come from you, but through you.”
Sequoyah says
Wow..that’s strong. And that energy begins with taking action-that first step. Take that first step and WHAM, crap gets done, your body becomes alive and it’s almost hard to stop! Mope about and procrastinate, and the body responds with lack. Lack of energy, lack of desire. I like it, Christine!
Carlo Cruz says
Thank you for another inspiring and challenging post!
It’s really tough to become mentally strong. And it’s impossible to be one in a short period of time. It really takes consistency like what you mentioned. Sometimes, it even gets frustrating when we realize we’re not quite there yet. But, we should never give up.
I guess in addition to being consistent, we just have to strive to be even a little bit better or a little bit stronger mentally than yesterday.
Thank you again!
JIthin says
Great post Marc, very inspiring, thank you
Viv says
Beautiful insight. Your emails and book have been instrumental in me becoming mentally stronger over this past few months.
tara dillard says
I invented a question: “What would I do tomorrow if I were not afraid?”
No matter the fear, now, there are always choices.
Ironically, those choices reduce the fear, and let me make the best choice. Once made, no looking back.
Perhaps this should be named the ‘lucky question’, because its action steps eradicate fear, and bring luck aka working hard.
Garden & Be Well, XO Tara
Russ says
That is a great question to ask yourself daily. Thank you for sharing it, I will make it part of my routine!
Marc Chernoff says
I love that question, Tara.
Elsie Goycoolea says
Ahh I love the last point which is similar to giving your all whenever you do something. Put your heart in! I think I am a mentally strong person. I have a strong sense of discipline and perseverance which has helped me a lot. However, sometimes that takes over the joy of things. A good balance is the key 🙂
Fred Thomas says
I really liked every point here – the 5 items are very enlightening!
Kay says
Very inspiring and helpful ideas here. I’m going to use these for myself and also encourage others too.
Thank you.
Becky says
I have been trying to figure out a way to explain prayer as it relates to my faith… this captured it completely. Thank you!!!
There’s a quote I’ve always loved that’s often credited to Ignatius: “Pray as if God will take care of all; act as if all is up to you.”
That’s a strong way to live. It’s about using your faith to fuel positive action.
Marc Chernoff says
Glad you resonated with that quote. It’s certainly one of my all-time favorites.
Jackie says
Very inspiring and motivating – your site has helped me in many ways , thank you. It’s very difficult to be motivated and uplifting to grown children that seemed to have forgotten a few lessons and people along the way . I continue to be giving and loving yet it is misconstrued as controlling and narcissistic. What’s a Mother to do?
I stay mentally strong everyday by knowing I’ve done the best I could and they are good people . I remember that I gave them some of the beginning tools needed and they went and found the others .
I continue everyday to write in my journal in hopes one day my words may help even 1 person somewhere.
I AM mentally strong because I’m choosing today to do so.
.
Sandy Peckinpah says
Great post Marc. “Number 4: They are relentlessly consistent.” I loved your analogy because I know for sure that attention to physical health is key to success in all other areas of life, including professional success. I learned when I fall short in staying consistent with my workout, it’s time to hire a trainer. When I fall short in being consistent with my business or personal life, it’s time to hire a coach or a professional who can support me in reaching goals. Even consistent reading of inspirational books and blogs, like yours, helps me get through those inconsistent rough patches. Thanks for your consistent support!
Marc Chernoff says
You’re welcome, Sandy. And I agree, coaching, counseling and self-development are vital to maximizing our potential, especially in trying times.
Elisavet Velentza says
When everything falls apart I just remind to myself: What are your dreams? What is your goal in life? And then I am just trying to continue following my purpose and my dream…. Although I end up doing no job at the beginning, I trust myself by saying “give yourself time”, now you cannot work… but the day will come that you will be able to get back on track again… maybe in a different one. Since as hard as adversities may be, will make you a better person if you decide to learn from them. I try to be patient..and say to myself keep on going…. you will eventually get up and be strong again and try again..
Holden Seguso says
What an excellent re-affirming post. All these 5 characteristics are remarkably spot on. It’s difficult for me to decide on which characteristic to comment on as they are all so good. One that really resonated with me and I think is important for others to remember is great mental strength is built by the little acts you do during the day. Now looking back, I realize that my spiritual journey, which I dedicated to strictly facing and mastering my fears, was just time spent reigning in my mind before I could even attempt to go after any real goals. Through insights on that journey, and insights discovered on my current path, I’ve realized that the feeling felt from achieving a goal is a fleeting high. The real wealth comes from the struggle/challenges in traveling to that goal of which they knock the dust off my heart/values, which allows them to further grow/beautify and consume who I am as a human being. I truly enjoyed this article! And will keep returning for more 🙂
Michael Gregory II says
Great post!
I’m still searching for ways to become as mentally strong as I can for myself. I remember doing some research about ways to embrace this mindset. A personal reference I used was reflecting off what I read from the 48 Laws of Power. Though there’s still a long chain of information I have to endure and study, it’s the gradual changes that I enjoy most.
Swati sharma says
Great post,
You know I always thought how my mom is so strong mentally and physically,today after reading this post I got the answer.
And it is that my mother is so disciplined in her day to day life, in all her household chores, her daily routine,her exercises everything. And I always use to wonder why she places so much importance on doing her tasks on time, without any delay,no matter how small the task is, and now I know because, she does all of this by abiding religiously to what she has decided to do in her mind. These are the traits of hers that has strengthened her mind over the time. Her mind doesn’t discriminate whether you are cleaning your house or making a big presentation for a client, it will always works greatly, and without further stress.
Anyway, Marc is right mental strength is developed daily, in our day to day lives. Again, a great post….
Lynne Lemke says
Your material in this email/post is so reassuring. It’s how I’ve lived my life and shared my beliefs since I was diagnosed with a brain tumor last August. After going through two brain surgeries and now having radiation therapy, from the start, I realized that I am not in control of the circumstances but am in control of how I handle it and I chose to handle it with not only a positive attitude but with a sense of humor as well. The cancer is what it is by no choice of mine, but I can choose to not let it break my spirit and live to enjoy each day as if it were my last. Thank you for your dedication to helping show others how to live a more pleasant and joyful life.
Janet says
I can relate, as I’m dealing with breast cancer now. I think we are both lucky to have the positive attitude we have. It allays my fears (and the fears of others). I’ve really surprised myself, and am happy that I have at least one of the characteristics of mentally strong people. This experience makes me enjoy every moment. And I hope it will help me realize what my real priorities are and help me get to know the real me. You are an inspiration!
S.G. says
Truly great article! Very inspiring and to the point. Without adversity presenting itself in one’s life you would get bored and not develop the mental faculties to create the pathway to greatness ! Whatever your path to greatness may be..
Cheers,
S.G.
Sherman Smith says
Hey Marc,
I really resonated with number 2. It’s true the 10% of our life is out of our control and 90% is. It’s a wonder how some people can progress while others are stagnant. I have progressed a lot and that comes from taking action. I make no excuses and I learn from my mistakes. Thanks for the share! Have a great week!
Ruby says
Thank you! This was a much-needed post! I like that you mentioned gratitude and that you just encourage people to be themselves, and be bold, daring, and courageous, even when it’s hard. Much appreciation and many thanks! 🙂
Glen says
The power of small steps, life is like a good walk it is not about reaching the end point but enjoying each step along the way.
Each small step adds up to and adds up. You are in a line of traffic and there is a lane merging into yours if everyone just let one car in the queue would be gone. A small step I can do.
Every day take a small step no matter how uncomfortable it may feel your life is worth it, and those around you.
Take care
Glen
Nancy says
“Relentlessly Consistent” – I love that! My new motto. Thank you.
Rick Yvanovich says
Great post – I’ll be using this as a quote – “Life is not easy, which is why you have to do hard things to be happy in life.”
BlackDiamond says
Another great and timely post. #4 really resonated with me regarding being relentlessly consistent. This paragraph hit home for me:
“Just like every muscle in the body, the mind needs to be exercised to gain strength. It needs to be worked consistently to grow and develop over time. If you haven’t pushed yourself in thousands of little ways over time, of course you’ll crumble on the one day that things get really challenging.” Powerful.
What has worked for me is this mantra that I’m competent, intelligent, resourceful and capable enough to succeed when I’m faced with uncertainty, uncomfortable situations and challenges and am reaching outside my comfort zone. I trust God that I’m enough and whatever I need in the moment will be provided once I’m able to ask or look for it within or from and external source. I know that I’m enough and I live and walk in that faith and confidence and it’s beginning to make the world of difference in my journey.
Alex says
Well, I think, my strength is persistence, and my weakness – apprehension:-). I would also like to note that, apart from five principles (or, as you called them, rituals) you listed, there is one more thing that can help to be mentally strong. I mean – some method of self-improvement: meditation, psychotherapy, and so on. It will make the mind healthier and, hence, stronger.
pippi hepburn says
I am working on following a daily routine. It is work, but some weeks I do well and others not. But the goal is to do it, regularly so I will continue. I love that you said “life is hard”. No one says that when they are trying to be positive and inspiring. I say life is work, easier to palate, so yes it is hard to do. Great quote per Chekhov, “any idiot can handle a crisis, it’s the day to day that can kill you! I think of this as I push on. Thanks!
Morgan Ryan says
The mental pattern of telling oneself “I’m not good enough.” Allowing the ego to take ahold of the mind instead of shining love. This is a habit I personally realized I have been replaying in my mind ever since I was a kid. It has in some regard propelled me forward, driving me to improve and become “enough” but I was always left feeling inadequate after any fleeting moment of success. After reading this and meditating tonight, I came to the realization you have to know you are always enough and these limiting beliefs are just blocking the abundance you seek from flowing. Thanks for the inspiration, perfect timing.
Xx,
Maverick Muse
Mister Meat says
So strong and as happens a lot with genius posts this appears on my screen on a early summer beautiful morning right when its needed (or perhaps even a necessity) for me right at this moment.
Amazing work of you guys, putting up this site for so many years already and cranking out words of wisdom every time.
(I was one who read your blog at the beginning times but then years passed by and now I can see all your writings even more clearly and it just comes very nicely timed back in my life.
I bet i can teach the world a lot about mental stuff, and how its most often not even due to psychological weirdness of humans…
(I’m graduating dietitian, resident in Belgium)
For those in the know with paleo AND fungus being root cause of many symptoms, including psychological, say hi and who knows marj discovers this too and will look back at this discovery with even more immense gratitude for what we can have and enjoy in this life 🙂
Thanks again you guys, brilliant people like the world (eventually) needs them! And love the new site too, this and all the stuff you’re already doing is what will keep leading you guys to heaven on earth
Ps: i really hope i sparked the discovery of a new world (or perhaps you already know about this stuff, but i don’t notice in your writings though). of psychological thinkings.
I myself have a rabbit hole ride of some 3 years educating myself with all sorts of this stuff. Discover the link between environment(which includes food, but also everything else is what i mean with ‘environment’) and everything psychological. It goes so far to influence everything, yes even to the little things like yet you have little gremlin voice in your head or why is it that you can’t seem to shake the negativity (with everything that you have taken knowledge of in your life).
I took the time for posting this and would be glad to see this little efforts resulting in something. Even if its just If Mark or Angel reading and hopefully understanding the words i’ve written here.
(I have got so many more other efforts to give the world. So even though I could very well to that, I won’t just put all my resources into convincing Mark to improve the success of his business and life, coming forth trough the better understanding of everything (eg why do we have selfsabotaging behaviors))
If anyone is sparked or enlightend in some way, feel free to contact me (i don’t really comment much of do forums etc, but were someone to want to share stuff I’ll often be happy take a listen/look)
Jane says
I have a strong belief system. I believe that I am indeed an important being that has the potential to change and move the world.
One thing that hasn’t been helping me become mentally strong is my anxiety. Sometimes I get those attacks that urge me to act upon it to relieve the anxiety without processing and thinking rationally.
I’m taking meds and getting the professional help that I need to recover from clinical anxiety.
My website is linked above for anybody who would like more insight on recovery from trauma.
Dimetri Cauveé says
Something I’ve learned is to use our verbiage in a way that empowers us. For example instead of saying “one that hasn’t been helping me become mentally strong…”
We could say “I’m working everyday on my mental strength, growing stronger daily. I have an anxiety and I what I do fix/cure/help it is XYZ”
Empowering yourself and the other readers by positive focus vs. negative.
🙂
I’ve been there so I understand. We fought and overcame depression.
Keep fighting! #LIO
Jessica says
Great article! Thanks again for the inspiration. I really like No.4 and I am in a constant argument with myself about No. 5. Sometimes I feel like it doesn’t matter at all what I do, and than again I try to remind myself that each one makes a difference. Would be great to read more about this challenge.
Ahmad says
This one is so powerful ! I really appreciate every word of this article.
Marc Chernoff says
Thank you, as always, everyone. Your comments have inspired us again. Angel and I are so grateful to have you in our lives.
Amy says
I’m navigating one of the most emotionally challening times in my life–have been for months now. I’m gaining a deeper empathy for others as I experience how unfair life can feel. How toxic some folks can be. Out of compassion for myself, I feel my feelings, let out my fear, outrage, heartbreak etc as authentically as I can in safe space with friends I can trust. Then I come back to the phrase, “And yet.” I say things to myself like, “Sweetheart, you’re right. This is unfair. It’s not OK. It’s really really hard and painful. And yet. Here we are. It’s happening. We have a choice. What will we do with this day? What’s the next right thing we can do?” This helps return me to a place where I can just take the next right step. Usually that’s some act of self care or something creative or of service. Self-compassion has been really key for me. Paired with “and yet” I’m doing as well as a human can in a tough situation. I’m proud of who I am, am committed to my own integrity, and am learning things I could not have learned any other way. Thanks for this essay. It helped.
Rose Costas says
Thanks marc for a another great post.
Kate Meyer says
I hope it is alright, I linked your article in my blog (linked above), because I had to respond in depth.
First, thank you so much for posting this– your words are both encouraging and enlightening (must love truth).
Second, and to respond to your question in brief, one thing that gets me through the good and the bad is knowing my personal limitations, admitting to them, and acting accordingly to produce prosperity in my own life and the lives of those around me. Making constant check points for myself when I fall into the habit of comparing myself to others is a big one for me.
Thanks again!
Merryrose says
I believe that every day we have the chance to start over. My father, who just turned 81, was a stranger to me for half of his life. I really did not understand the decisions he made: four marriages, child out of wedlock, drinking too much, and generally being a poor example of a father.
Now, in the past 20 years or so, he has settled down and become somewhat of a hero to me. He turned his life around and now focuses on his family and his legacies. I admire him and take note that he has become mentally strong, mirroring what you wrote about above.
My father is living up to his potential; I only wish he had done so sooner. Late is better than never, though, and I admire him for what he has done with his life.
Thank you for this article.
Lucy says
I love this post! So inspiring. I myself have endured some tough times within my 27 years, but I have established quite a lot of inner strength and always had constant support from my mother, so no. 1 is very true! I always think, ‘what will be will be’ but if you positively try to make life a little better through love and passion, things become easier to deal with 🙂
Dimetri Cauveé says
Definitely! I also would like to add by volunteering and helping someone can go a long way too! – Cauveé
Isaac says
Mental strength is very vital in day to day living. This article is great
Mara says
I love this post! Thanks.
Jason - KAC says
Marc, thanks again for an insightful piece.
Something I would like to draw attention to (and elaborate upon) is your hint in point #5 to the theory “fake it until you make it”.
Whether what you do makes a difference to others or not, is not relevant in the long term for self-growth. What’s more important is that you believe that what you’re doing will take both yourself and your audience on a journey – one that will lead to success for all involved. Actors for instance, could be seen as ‘faking’ their roles on stage. Rarely do actors represent themselves in real life. Instead, they act out a ‘fake’ life so many times (through rehearsals, cuts, etc.) that they eventually demand the award of Grammy’s and Golden Globes. Was their rehearsal a true representation of self? Doubtful. They got good at faking their role until they made it.
A similar philosophy can be had when coming to mental strength and believing in self. Even if you’re so full of doubt and insecurity at your ability to succeed, try faking it until you make it. Your projected confidence and enthusiasm will likely sway the disbelievers and dazzle the doubtful.
A great motto to try when times are low – “Fake it until you make it”!
Just had to share.
Thanks for your writing.
Jason
Dimetri Cauveé says
What I usually do to get my “power back” is watch something that makes me laugh. For me, something silly such as “Family Guy” or a movie can get my spirits on track. Once I have my “mojo” on par I keep it up by reflecting on something positive daily mixed with meditation. It has worked wonders! – Cauveé #LIO
Donna says
I consciously avoid feeling regret, because that past is over and done and can’t be changed. When something goes wrong, instead of seeking to place blame, my response is “It is why it is. What do we do now?”
Gabu says
Good piece of writing… Thanks Marc.
Roiann says
Powerful post…many times daily I rely on my deceased Grandmother’s advice,”two wrongs don’t make a right” always choose ‘to do right’ regardless of someone else’s behavior, circumstances, unpopularity or personal cost.