What we do comes out of who we believe we are.
A good friend of mine, who graduated with honors from Cal Berkley several years ago, is now the co-founder and CEO of a successful start-up in Silicon Valley. Throughout grade school he struggled with reading and writing disabilities. He spent kindergarten all the way through 12th grade in English ESE classes. During a parent-teacher conference when he was a freshman in high school, two ESE teachers collectively informed his mom that it was highly unlikely he would ever graduate.
So how did he do it? How did he push through and overcome the odds? “Affirmations,” he told me with a serious smile when I interviewed him yesterday for a side-project I’m working on. “I literally told myself that they were wrong about me. I told myself exactly what I needed to hear, every single day, to move my life forward. It may sound like a cliché to some people, but it’s not; it’s powerful stuff!”
I love his sentiment, and I agree with him 110%. In fact, there’s a good reason why training our minds with positive affirmations works wonders like this.
Just like every muscle in the body, the mind needs to be exercised to gain strength. It needs to be worked consistently to grow and develop over time. If you haven’t pushed your mind in thousands of little ways over time, of course it’ll crumble on the one day that things get really challenging.
A mind well trained with positive affirmations has the right thoughts queued up and ready for retrieval at a moment’s notice.
If you’d like to begin (or enhance) this practice in your own life, here’s a selection of affirmations I often suggest to our course students, as starting point:
- “I cannot control everything that happens to me; I can only control the way I respond to what happens. In my response is my power.”
- “I will not get caught up in what could’ve been or should’ve been. I will look instead at the power and possibility of what is, right now.”
- “I have to accept whatever comes my way, and the only important thing is that I meet it with the best I have to give.”
- “Making mistakes is always better than faking perfections.” (Read The Gifts of Imperfection.)
- “I will never be as good as everyone tells me when I win, and I will never be as bad as I think when I lose.”
- “I will think less about managing my problems and more about managing my mindset. I will keep it positive.”
- “A challenge only becomes an obstacle if I bow to it.”
- “I will get back up. Again, and again. The faster I recover from setbacks, the faster I’ll get where I’m going in life.”
- “I will not try to hide from my fears, because I know they are not there to scare me. They are there to let me know that something is worth it.”
- “There is a big difference between empty fatigue and gratifying exhaustion. Life is too short. I will invest in the activities that deeply move me.”
- “If I don’t have time for what matters, I will stop doing things that don’t.”
- “I cannot build a reputation and legacy for myself based on what I am going to (maybe) do someday.”
- “The future can be different than the present, and I have the power to make it so, right now.”
- “Happiness will come to me when it comes from me.”
- “Getting ahead is essential, and I will never get ahead of anyone (including my past self) as long as I try to get even with them.”
- “I will focus on making myself better, not on thinking that I am better.”
- “I will be too busy working on my own grass to notice if yours is greener.”
- “I will eat like I love myself. Move like I love myself. Speak like I love myself. Live like I love myself. Today. (Angel and I discuss this in more detail in the “Self-Love” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)
- “My next step in the right direction doesn’t have to be a big one.”
- “All the small victories are worth celebrating, every step of the way. It’s the small things done well that make a big, exciting life in the end.”
And remember, one of life’s greatest gifts is the fact that it is often difficult. Because in dealing with life’s difficulties, we build invaluable strength. This strength enables us to successfully fulfill our deepest, most meaningful purposes. It is precisely because life is difficult that we are able to make it great. It is because life is difficult that we are able to rise above the difficulties. We are able to make a difference and we are able to leave our mark on the world.
Your turn…
What’s one of your go-to affirmations? What do you tell yourself when you need to hear it? Please share your thoughts with us by leaving a comment below.
Photo by: Peeratam Tangtua
J.J. says
Again you guys have opened the window of opportunity for me to tell you that I love your book and that I use it as my primary source of positive affirmations. Here’s one quote (a longer affirmation) I have enlarged and hanging on my bulletin board in my home office:
“Not until you are lost in this world can you begin to find your true self. Realizing you are lost is the first step to living the life you want. The second step is leaving the life you don’t want. Making a big life change is pretty scary. But you know what’s even scarier? Regret. Vision without action is a daydream, and action without vision is a nightmare. Your heart is free, have the courage to follow it.”
There’s just something about these words that always helps me think differently when I’m feeling lost and stuck.
And another (shorter) one I learned from you:
“You can have all the knowledge in the world, but it means nothing without building up the confidence to do something with it.”
Bruce says
Great comment!
I’m in the exact same boat…
Just trying to be brave and find my happiness now that I’ve stepped out of sthg I found wasn’t the life I wanted.
Sharon Mander says
Don’t let anybody define you! Only you, know yourself best. When, you love, and respect yourself, that is all that really matters!
Marc Chernoff says
Thanks so much for the continued support. We appreciate you, J.J..
thelma Ebere says
I totally agree with you. Self confidence is the antidote to self denial and the key to fulfillment.
Hillary says
“Be yourself! Everybody else is already taken.”
🙂
Tim says
I love me… I think I’m awesome!
Jeff Ray says
I’ve always loved this quote/affirmation from Peter Pan that I’m pretty sure I picked up from one of your blog posts a couple years ago:
“The moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease for ever to be able to do it.”
Ethan says
“Thank You for another day!” (Well, I may have to work more on my affirmations.) But in some situations, I also ironically say “Thank You.”
I say it every time I wake up. It does remind me that the problems I struggle with every day are only small compared to what I actually accomplish.
Also a reminder to keep doing the right things.
If something’s done wrong, simply fix it or apologize if you’ve hurt someone. Easier said than done, but peace comes tenfold when you keep things in the right place.
Marc Chernoff says
100% agree with your sentiment about keeping things organized and in the right place.
Dan Brook says
Our potential is always greater than our actual.
jithin says
Old beliefs never lead you to new opportunities. Go beyond your fears and embrace the change.
Adrian says
This is one I’m going to use from now on! Thanks!
Marc Chernoff says
Love this one, jithin.
Mathias says
Awesome list of affirmations!
I tend to use affirmations to “fake it ’till I make it” – meaning I tell myself things related to my goals that aren’t necessarily true yet. I find this really helps with shaping a brand new mindset in life!
Prasanna Dasari says
This is the perfect positive post 🙂 I started loving my weaknesses. Since I fell in love with those, I’ve developed self-respect. And later I worked on the issues that cause these weaknesses. Slowly I eliminated them and all the negativity.
I accepted myself completely, good and bad, incapabilities, fears and all. I built an attitude of facing these situations rather than running away from them.
All this needed much time to attain. And I am still fighting with many weaknesses. But, it is a friendly fight where I am not self-destructing.
I am so thankful to you both for your inspiration and guidance through all the posts. May God bless you 🙂
Glen says
Smile at the past, live and enjoy today and look forward to tomorrow.
Emma says
“I love you” and “Have faith”
Caitlyn says
“This strength enables us to successfully fulfill our deepest, most meaningful purposes.”
I’m questioning what my deepest, most meaningful purposes are at the moment. What’s your advice to solve this?
David Monaghan says
I look back on times in my life when i have said to myself just jump in and deal with what may come my way. I calculate the outcomes to the best of my ability. I am fascinated as to how the journey and the result have been exhilarating. I love the following quote from you and Angel:
“If you wait around until everything makes perfect sense and you feel 100% safe and ready, you will be waiting the rest of your life.
Sometimes you just have to get up and go for it…
Sometimes you’ve got to jump off a cliff and build your wings on the way down.”
Holden Seguso says
Hello Couple,
My favorite affirmation:
“I will eat like I love myself. Move like I love myself. Speak like I love myself. Live like I love myself. Today.”
This, to me, suggests a conscious and present mind. Spending each moment of the day seeking ways to cultivate more love is a life worth living :). Also, the affirmation written by the first commenter on this page struck a serious chord for those just starting their journey. It’s very wise:
“Not until you are lost in this world can you begin to find your true self. Realizing you are lost is the first step to living the life you want. The second step is leaving the life you don’t want. Making a big life change is pretty scary. But you know what’s even scarier? Regret. Vision without action is a daydream, and action without vision is a nightmare. Your heart is free, have the courage to follow it.”
Anyway, good energy in your posts and looking forward to some more :). Have a great start to the week!
Warmly,
Holden Seguso
Gary says
Awesome!! That is well said. After seeing the movie Help; I tell my 6 year old son: “You are smart! You are a leader! You are a good listener!” And other variations.
Sharon says
I love reading your posts. Seems like everytime I open one up and read it – it’s exactly what I need to hear. Struggling today. Need to get out of my own head sometimes. Your posts really help me see that I’m not alone and I can overcome. Thank you!
Sergio Rodrigues says
My most recurring limiting belief is “you are too old to change” (I am in my late 60), which I reply saying: “Don’t let your limitations determine your limits”.
Josh Andrews says
Thanks for this list! I will read ‘one’ a day, because let’s face it. We get so caught up in our daily lives. We all needed to be reminded and be mindful of the obvious but simple things that would make our lives less complicated.
Betty says
This is my favorite affirmation/quote/saying –
“I have come to accept the feeling of not knowing where I am going. And I have trained myself to love it. Because it is only when we are suspended in mid-air with no landing in sight, that we force our wings to unravel and alas begin our flight. And as we fly, we still may not know where we are going to. But the miracle is in the unfolding of the wings. You may not know where you’re going, but you know that so long as you spread your wings, the winds will carry you.” ― C. JoyBell C.
Jan says
What a tremendous image of our being XX
Ruth Holewinski says
This is exactly what my daughter needs to read… today. Two weeks ago, she graduated from high school. You’ve put into words what I want her to feel in her heart. My favorite affirmation: If you think you can, you’re right. If you think you can’t, you’re right.
Sherman Smith says
Hey Marc and Angel,
I really like the first one the best out of all of them. The fact that you recognize the power of control your response to negative situation shows much maturity and character .
Besides that I don’t do affirmation because they don’t work for me. I do something called afformations which I learned from the author Noah St. John. You basically instead of making a positive statement you ask a positive question like “why will I improve my relationship ships with other people?” or “how is it that I’m learning how to play piano so fast with dexterity?”….when it’s done like this for me I automatically come up with good answers.
Thanks for the share and I hope you to have a great week!
Marc Chernoff says
Excellent insight. Angel and I big proponents of self-inquiry as a method of growth and healing.
Mike Sherman says
To achieve what you have never achieved before, you must do what you have never done before.
Funmi says
Thanks for this post. It’s truly helpful.
Mariana says
Back in the elementary through high schools my math teachers told my parents that math was not my strong side and “c ” minus was my highest grade just so that I could graduate. But before my high school graduation test, my math tutor had told me otherwise. She kept instilling into me the thought that I was going to be a mathematician. I kept this affirmation throughout college when I got A’s in all of my math classes through calculus, graduated with high honors BS biochemistry and later medical school. Miracles happen when one affirms herself in positive thoughts which lead to desirable actions and success.
Marc Chernoff says
Beautiful! Way to go, Mariana!
Aya says
I’ve been realizing the great importance of self respect and love. Everything comes so beautifully into alignment when you love yourself unconditionally where you are right now, no matter what’s happening, no matter what’s going on in your life..
I also remind myself to be positive in the beginning of the day that way positivity is laced into everything I do.
I love the quote:
“Do what you can
With with what you’ve got
From where you are.”
Reminds me that we don’t have to have everything right now, we don’t have to have it all figured out right now BUT we can do amazing things right now with where we are and with what we have. I love it.
Marc Chernoff says
Yes. Self-love is vital!
Jo Morano says
Needed this. Been struggling with how the parents are treating us recently, now that they are getting more older. Sometimes you really have to secure your own mask first before being of help to others, to become a more effective caregiver. Thanks for having such a lovely post arrive at my email in times like these, where I question myself as a daughter to my parents.
Lei Lani Lucero says
One of my favorite lines that I paraphrase from Richard Bach’s “Illusions” is:
“If you argue for your limitations, you get to keep them.”
and
“if you embrace all that is not perfect about you, no one else can use it against you.”
Thanks, Marc & Angel. (and all of the people who comment, and teach, and ask the important questions)
Amadi says
Quite pushing! Ever inspiring! Thanks for this, Marc and Angel
Neil Q says
This is indeed a great list of affirmations, something that I would like to keep coming back to.
One of the affirmations that I feel really work is – I am physically, mentally and emotionally whole, healthy, fit , complete, strong, flexible and able to flow in any direction
Brittany B. says
Affirmations DO help…
I am not a religious person but do consider myself a spiritual one. Every morning I wake up, I thank God for another day, everyday.
I am not in the ideal career I want to be in, gave everything up two years ago to pursue a dream, and basically failed. I had a rough year, beating myself up and thinking I would never amount to anything.
But then I realized, the plan I have for myself is not the plan God has for me.
I take everyday by being thankful and realizing that I must be patient, I will be successful, and I have a lot to be thankful for now.
My affirmation is…. My future will not be like my present, if I keep my faith, pray for patience, positive mental attitude and confidence.
Ikee says
My inspiration and motivation when I open my eyes every morning- “With God nothing is impossible” and this followed by positive action..:)
Akhen says
I have mixed feelings about this blog entry. On the one hand, some of these bullet points seem like some of the best things you can tell an ego, and on the other hand, that’s entirely the problem (even though it’s really not a “problem”, of course.)
Personally, I think it’s better that one’s focus be on moving out of the egoic state of consciousness (regardless of the “price”, and how long it takes), rather than on manipulating one’s ego…like Play Doh. But then again, it’s good, and ultimately essential, to have a highly functional ego, especially in “western culture”. And yet, the most important thing in life is waking up out of the identification with the thought-based self. Then again “but”, in this culture one needs a good job to survive. And yet, being homeless for awhile may be preferable to being rich and completely deluded beyond all “belief”. And back again, conversely, that’s not an excuse for the ego to avoid dealing with life, which would be what? more ego “caught-upness”….and make for probably a miserable experience, ironically, especially for an ego. Of course, the ego, being a programmed self, frequently doesn’t have the ideal orientation for the human organism’s health and well-being.
Anyway, as we know, there are many seemingly paradoxical things in life, but finding the right balance is key. And it’s important to focus on waking up OUT of the egoic state, rather than on attempting to tweak and adjust it all of one’s life.
I think the more we have experience living from the standpoint of having realized our true nature, the more the right decisions will come as the moment dictates. And this is because one’s state of consciousness determines the way one navigates life. And the unconditioned state of consciousness, being unconditioned by definition, responds appropriately to the circumstances, rather than from a programmed script.
I thought of this quote, funnily enough, from the bible. I think it’s perfect here, “When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, and I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put away those childish things.”
Blessing Bassey says
Woah! Weldone Angel and Marc. Your post is thought provoking. As for me, when am going through stuff I just say to myself- Short term pain- Long term gain, trust me the effect is mind blowing. Itzz really amazing how affirmation works. Best Wishes.
Carlos Giron says
“Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever.” -Lance Armstrong.
This quote has gotten me through bad times and always reminded me to never loose faith and to keep pushing through it.
Jeffy J. says
Being positively minded and affirmative is important, really because if you are positively minded, you would affirm positivity into your life.
For as the bible quips –
“For out of the mouth proceeds the issues of life, ‘for as a man thinketh in his heart, so he is”.
I had a personal experience of affirming to myself positive beliefs at a moment of stress and physical exhaustion, it’s effect was immediate and reassuring. It made me realise the truth that we humans are intensely forgetful creatures, we need to remind ourself what we brlieve and positive affirmations is the best way to go.
“To do is to be.”
– Socretes.
Act now, regret later. But, actions are dangerous when there is doubt to their reason. Act without hesitation and realise your visions.
Cristhian says
Hi!
First of all I really want to thank you guys for being such an awesome people, I love your posts, they have helped me a lot into being what I am today, you have pushed me to follow my dreams and that’s exactly what I’m doing right now, I started my blog and created my own company with some help from you, so thanks a lot.
One of my favorites quotes is “life is too short not to try!” in fact I have it posted on my bedroom wall and I read it every single time I’m struggling with something.
I know some people dealing with some tough situations day to day, so definitely this post is worth sharing.
Justine says
“Every day may not be good, but there’s something good in every day.”
Shafiuddin says
“A challenge only becomes an obstacle if I bow to it.” This is very true thing… Speaking from experience.
Bryan Pumphrey says
My mantra is: “May you be safe, may you be happy, may your body be strong, and may you life unfold with ease…”
Luis says
Greatness is not this esoteric thing that only the few among us possess, it is something that truly exists in all of us.
Naomi Teeter says
For many years, my go-to saying when I fail or make a mistake has been, “Oh well”. I don’t get as angry as I used to… I just say “Oh well” and try again later. 🙂
Beatrice says
I absolutely love your article. I am such an overthinker I’m always and forever reading your amazing words of wisdom. I even move some of them in handwriting into my journals for easy reference (I’m very much a pen/paper kinda gal). So again thank you! This is such a great article on PERSONAL success that, if embraced, will lead into future success!
Bea
Jane says
During moments of self-doubt, I tell myself that I am smarter than what I think, more beautiful than what I think, and more deserving of love than what I think.
I also tell myself that thoughts are just thoughts, and the fact that I am great does not change because I’m having thoughts that oppose it.
Rich says
If you love life, life will love you back.
Ruby says
Thank you, these are wonderful reminders. I appreciate it very much.
Gerry MacManus says
My favourite: ‘If you believe you can’t do something, you probably can’t’ – gets the thought processes working, and I generally avoid then trying to explain it
Dee says
I love these affirmations! I am going to print this. Thank you!
Akanksha Srivastava says
Thank you , Thank you , Thank you Marc Sir and Angel Ma’am.
your all 20 affirmations are superb. . And one I most loved “Happiness will come to me when it comes from me.”
My mantra in life is : Life is too short too be unhappy.
So always be happy.
Whenever I feel sad I told this to me.
Marie says
Get a second opinion. Sharing your thoughts with someone can shed light where we dont see it.
Seema says
in whatever i do, i go the extra mile. that little extra makes all the difference.