Oftentimes the hardest part of the journey is simply believing you’re worthy of the trip.
“Life hasn’t been the easiest on me lately. I won’t get into all the details now, but the tough times I’ve been living through have left me with many cracks. And although I’ve still managed to be a reasonably successful person, on most days I struggle desperately with my self-confidence. I just don’t feel good enough. I feel flawed. I feel like my cracks make me undesirable…”
Those are the opening lines of an email I received recently from a new reader of this blog. I’m sharing that excerpt today, with permission, because Marc and I have spoken to hundreds of other readers, clients, and live event attendees over the past 15 years who struggle in a very similar way. In fact, almost all of us wrestle with not feeling “good enough” at various points throughout our lives.
If you can relate right now — if today is one of those days — it’s time for a quick story about life:
Once upon a time there was an elderly woman who needed to walk down to the river every morning to fetch water for drinking, cooking and cleaning. She carried two buckets with her, filled them up at the riverbank, and walked back with them to her rural cottage home.
One of the buckets was newer, perfectly sealed, and held its water flawlessly. But the second bucket was older and contained a few thin cracks that would leak water onto the ground as the elderly woman walked. By the time she arrived home, typically about one third of the water in the second bucket had leaked through its cracks.
One day, on the walk down to the river, the cracked bucket — who had always felt like it wasn’t as good as the other bucket – said to the elderly woman, “I want you to know that I’ve been leaking water every morning for the past several years. I’m so sorry for being cracked and making your life more difficult. I understand if you need to replace me with a better bucket.”
The elderly woman smiled. “Do you really think I haven’t known about your cracks this whole time?” she asked. “Look at all the beautiful flowers that grow on the path from my cottage to the river. I planted their seeds, but every morning it’s you who does the watering.”
Remember:
Feeling good enough in life, in work, in business, and in our relationships has everything to do with how we personally judge the cracks in our own bucket. Because we all have a few cracks!
But are they cracks that wreck us, that taint us, and that ruin our experience and desirability?
Or do our cracks water a trail of flowers we haven’t even stopped to appreciate?
Let this be your wake-up call!
Choose to see the flowers through the cracks in your own bucket — choose to see how it’s exactly those cracks that make you good enough — and your whole universe will shift!
Now, it’s your turn…
Yes, it’s your turn to take a deep breath when you need one. Sometimes the pressure coming from peers, family, work, and society in general is enough to make us feel less than “good enough.” If we don’t have the “right” job, relationship, house, and so forth by a certain age or time frame, we assume we’re flawed — cracked! Again, Marc and I hear about this kind of self-defeating mindset from our clients, our students, and our readers/subscribers on a daily basis, and we aren’t immune either. Feeling good enough takes consistent practice.
It’s time to practice!
But before you go, please leave Marc and me a comment below and let us know what you think of this short story/essay. Your feedback is important to us. 🙂
Also, if you haven’t done so already, be sure to sign-up for our free newsletter to receive new articles like this in your inbox each week.
Christian says
Excellent parable and principles for finding self-worthiness. After a friend shared one of your older emails with me a couple weeks ago, this topic has been what I’ve been mulling over in my journal lately. In the past I have wrestled with not believing and trusting in myself. The key I’ve found is to embrace the reality that I do not need the approval of others to lead the life I want for myself. My biggest mistake with self-doubt was in believing my life should be run like city hall-where all the people I know and love have a say and a voice about everything, where I have to fight hard for what matters for me, where I have been outvoted time and time again. Well… that is a thing of the past. Thank you for helping me make gradual changes these past few weeks.
Sharon says
Sometimes the words we hear everyday when we are a child, stick with us and mess us up. You hear it from our fathers, family, men or women we marry and coworkers. The tongue is vicious and hurtful. No one is perfect, except Jesus. This story was greatly needed because at 70 years old I am finding out that the people we put in our circle, should be the ones who lift us up, not down. Today, I am on the road to healing and this road will take me closer to God. His words are what brings him to us, to open our eyes to the love of God and the people who follow Him. He will mend everything in us that is flawed. The evil one brings these cracks and Jesus seals them. Great story and I will be more confident and positive. Thank you both.
Jenifer Manz says
Just the story I needed today..I happen to love flowers so I will visually see my cracks as a chance to bloom
James W Hemwall says
It sounds like a “coup” has taken place and now you’re running the show!! Good for you, now get out there and shake things up!!
Dee says
Wonderful story! Goes right along with do you see the glass half-full or half-empty? My favorite “getting back on track” thinking is to realize that whatever it is- does NOT have to be perfect. It just has to be satisfactory or satisfying. Otherwise, we are missing out on the enjoyment of the journey…
Nan says
Thank you so much for this story. It has come at a perfect time for me. I never thought of it like this before. Being perfect seemed to be the only possible way that life could be beautiful. But now I see how wrong that way of feeling is. From now on, I will remember what beauty can come from the cracks.
John says
This story reminds me of The Velveteen Rabbit story. Until you’re all roughed up and worn a bit you are not real. I’ll be honest, with you. Being real sucks some days. It’s “why cant I be like everyone else?” But then I’ve found I am like everyone else. I’m doing the best I can with the tools I have to work with. My flowers along the path look different than your but we both grow beautiful flowers because we’re both beautiful people.
My bucket has lots of cracks in it and is even patched in a few spots, but it’s mine! All mine.
Rosalyn Spurlin says
Amen.
Amit says
Love this story. It is easy to make our opinions based on all that we see, and miss the larger purpose.
LuLu says
This is very timely. I was not invited to an important party by a couple people I thought were pretty good friends of mine. After several days of wondering why or what I did to cause this, I realized they aren’t the friends I thought they were. I am grateful for my friends who accept me cracks and all.
lucy says
Marc and Angel… your reflections are always a comfort and an encouragement….
Sometimes they are even a much needed “kick in the pants.” I appreciate you both.
Rickie Nez says
Love your passages. Definitely food for thought. We all have some cracks in our life .
Scott says
I have been reading your blog now for awhile. This one hits me directly. Thank you. All are good, but some are directly helpful for me.
I have passed on your site to many people; especially those I feel you can help. Hope you are both doing well.
Martin Galloway says
Your beautiful story reminds us that our perceived flaws and cracks do not define our worth or desirability. We all have moments of self-doubt and feeling inadequate, but it’s important to recognize the positive impact we can still have, even with our imperfections.
Thank you for reminding me that instead of focusing on our cracks, we should choose to see the beauty and growth that can come from them. Embracing our vulnerabilities can lead to a shift in perspective and a greater appreciation for ourselves.
I really love this post, Marc and Angel!
Imelda Terry says
Thank you for this story.
My favourite line from a Leonard Cohen song addresses this feeling beautifully.
“Ring the bells you still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There’s a crack in everything
That’s how the light gets in.
Anna says
Thank you so much for sharing this wonderful parable. The timing on this spot on for me. As I read this, I feel my shoulders lowering, my jaw less clenched and a taking a deep breath. I’ve been feeling less than for a few months, especially after a few blows personally and professionally that have left me feeling unworthy. Thank you Marc and Angel, for the wonderful encouragement.
Karen McDonald says
Beautiful story it really put perspective on my current feelings lately.
JR says
I can really relate to the story. I’m in the same boat. Knowing that I’m not the only on with problems but it still drags me down. Low self esteem and self confidence and other things are problems for me but unable to find someone to talk about it w/o sounding dumb. One of those issues is my baggage stemming from something that happened over 24 yrs ago but that is on me and no one else.
P Marshall says
I needed this! Everyday, I feel like I’m not good enough. I’ve always felt like the weakest link in my family, with my friends , on my job. But, reading this gave me the confidence to move forward. You guys are great!
anjuli says
Angel thank you for writing this.
I have been feeling anxious since few days and was blaming myself for everything. But after reading this essay I felt comfortable.
LeAnn says
I see the comments about people appreciating the story, but none have helped me to see the value of my cracks. I still feel “less than”. I don’t know how to get to the place of the others who have commented.
Rosalyn Spurlin says
Really! Who would we be without the cracks?
Denise Karpus says
As always these articles are piercingly informative. But this time I wish they would have given us some kind of words of instruction on how to practice feeling good enough. It sounds like such a simple thing to do but it feels so incredibly overwhelming.
MaryAnn says
What a wonderful example of how something seemingly negative turns out to be a positive. The ending made me smile, and I haven’t done much of that lately since my only child passed away about two months ago. I’m feeling pretty cracked these days but my son had an upbeat, energizing personality; spreading sunshine everywhere he went. So when I start to focus on my cracks, I must work harder at remembering he was MY son and I’ll always be his Mom.
Maggie says
My husband of 35 years left me suddenly, and although it’s been seven years, I still wish we were together. I thought we were among the lucky couples who know it’s ‘forever.’ I had no idea he had a mistress, to whom he is now married. I have been existing because of my two daughters, but I’ll be glad when this all ends.
Amberflora says
I needed this…thank you for keep keeping on… God bless the day I find this site. I’m overtly grateful.
Kalengo says
Nicely said, the acceptance of the cracks that occur in our lives forces us to crack a beautiful smile, the picture of the flowers are priceless too.
Nancy says
I enjoy reading your articles as they are very inspiring to start out my day. I have never commented on here because I’ve always felt that I can’t express my words as well as others do on this site. Anyway, I just want to say that I feel “good enough” (cracks and all) and I’m going to remind myself of this daily.
Thank you for another wonderful and inspiring story.
Nancy
Cynthia A Bare says
You never know where your blessings lie. There is a reason for everything. This story sticks with me. I need to look for the good iv all the bad surrounding me
LOU says
WHAT A WONDERFUL STORY I WILL ALWAYS REMEBER THIS ITS ALMOST LIKE SAYING THERE IS BEAUTY IN INPERFECTION