You’ve come a long way, and you’re still learning and growing. Be thankful for the lessons. Take them and make the best of things right now.
For my 18th birthday, many moons ago, my grandfather on my mom’s side gave me four lightly-used flannel shirts that he no longer needed. The shirts were barely worn and in great shape; my grandfather told me he thought they would look great on me. Unfortunately, I thought they were odd gifts at the time and I wasn’t thankful. I looked at him skeptically, gave him a crooked half-smile, and moved on to the other gifts sitting in front of me. My grandfather died two days later from a sudden heart attack. The flannel shirts were the last gifts he ever gave me, and that crooked half-smile was the last time a directly acknowledged him. Today, I still regret the little thing I didn’t say when I had the chance: “Thank you Grandpa. That’s so thoughtful of you.”
This was a huge wake-up call for me—one that has served me well for over two decades now.
And here are eight wake-up calls for you—some important lessons worth learning before it’s too late:
1. You might not have tomorrow to say, “I love you.”
About a decade ago a coworker of mine died in a car accident. During his funeral several people from the office were in tears, saying kind things like: “I loved him. We all loved him so much. He was such a wonderful person.” I started crying too, and I wondered if these people had told him that they loved him while he was alive, or whether it was only with death that this powerful word, love, had been used without question or hesitation.
I vowed to myself then and there that I would never again hesitate to speak up to the people I love and remind them of how much I appreciate them. They deserve to know they give meaning to my life. They deserve to know I think the world of them.
Bottom line: If you love someone today, tell them. If you appreciate someone today, tell them. There might not be a tomorrow. Today is the day to express your love and admiration. (Note: Angel and I discuss this in detail in the Relationships chapter of our NEW edition of 1,000 Little Things.)
2. Your judgments of others are often inaccurate.
You will never know exactly what another person is going through or what their whole story is. When you believe you do, realize that your assumptions about their life are in direct relation to your limited perspective.
Many people you believe to be successful are extremely unhappy. Many people you think have it easy worked their tail off achieve what they have. Many people who appear to be wealthy are in debt because of their extravagant tastes for material possessions. Many people who appear to you to be old and uncool were once every bit as young and hip and inexperienced as you.
3. Not trying is why most people fail.
It’s not the mistakes and failures you have to worry about, it’s the opportunities you miss when you don’t even try that hurt you the most. Trying always leads to success regardless of the outcome. Even mistakes and failures teach you what not to do next time. Thus, every outcome is a lesson that makes you stronger and wiser.
In the end, there’s only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the failure to try. The results you achieve are not based on what you plan to do or what you say you’ll do. Your results come from what you actually try and do consistently.
Your life will get better when you get better. Start investing in yourself mentally, physically, and spiritually. Make it a priority to learn and grow every day by building positive rituals and sticking to them. The stronger you become, the better your life will feel.
4. Patience does not mean waiting and doing nothing.
Patience involves productive activity. It means doing your very best with the resources available to you, while understanding that the results you seek are worth the required time and effort, and not available elsewhere for any less time and effort.
Patience is the realization that the quality of your life is much more significant than the quantity of things you fill it with. Patience is your willingness to accept and appreciate what you have right now, while you put forth a steady, focused effort into growing toward your dreams and goals.
5. You don’t need anything more to be happy.
Intuitively, you already know that the best stuff in life isn’t stuff at all, and that relationships, experiences and meaningful work are the staples of a happy, fulfilling life. Yet you live in a consumer driven society where your mind is incessantly subjected to clever advertising ploys that drive you, against your better judgment, to buy material goods you don’t need or even want.
At a certain point, the needless material objects you buy crowd out the emotional needs advertisers would like you to believe they are meant to support. So next time you’re getting ready to make an impulsive purchase, ask yourself if this thing is really better than the things you already have. Or have you been momentarily tricked into believing that you’re dissatisfied with what you already have? (Read Soulful Simplicity.)
6. You aren’t perfect, and neither is anyone else.
All humans are imperfect. At times, the confident lose confidence, the patient misplace their patience, the generous act selfish, and the knowledgeable second guess what they know.
And guess what? You’re human—we all are. We make mistakes, we lose our tempers, and we get caught off guard. We stumble, we slip, and we spin out of control sometimes.
But that’s the worst of it; we all have our moments. Most of the time we’re remarkable. So stand beside the people you love through their trying times of imperfection, and offer yourself the same courtesy; if you aren’t willing to, you don’t deserve to be around for the perfect moments either.
7. All the little things make a big difference.
Life isn’t about a single moment of great triumph and attainment. It’s about the trials and errors that get you there—the blood, sweat, and tears—the small, inconsequential things you do every day. It all matters in the end—every step, every regret, every decision, and every affliction.
The seemingly useless happenings add up to something. The minimum wage job you had in high school. The evenings you spent socializing with coworkers you never see anymore. The hours you spent writing thoughts on a personal blog that no one reads. Contemplations about elaborate future plans that never came to be. All those lonely nights spent reading novels and news columns and comics strips and fashion magazines and questioning your own principles on life and sex and religion and whether or not you’re good enough just the way you are.
All of this has strengthened you. All of this has led you to every success you’ve ever had. All of this has made you who you are today.
Truth be told, you’ve been broken down a 1,000 times and put yourself back together again. Think about how remarkable that is, and how far you’ve come. You’re not the same person you were a year ago, a month ago, or even yesterday. You’re always growing… stronger!
8. Excuses are lies.
Make no mistake, there is always a lie lingering in between a dream and too many excuses. And the lie is you lying to yourself.
The excuses and explanations won’t do you any good. They won’t add any value to your life or improve the quality of it by even the slightest margin. To fulfill your calling and get where you wish to go in life requires more than just thinking and talking. These feats require focused and sustained action. And the good news is, you’re perfectly capable of taking whatever actions are necessary. You just have to choose to actually do it.
No one else can succeed for you on your behalf. The life you live is the life you build for yourself. There are so many possibilities to choose from, and so many opportunities for you to bridge the gap between where you are and where you want to be. Now is the moment to actually step forward.
Now, it’s your turn…
Today, I hope you will have another inspired day, that you will dream boldly and dangerously, that you will make some progress that didn’t exist before you took action, that you will love and be loved in return, and that you will find the strength to accept and grow from the troubles you can’t change. And, most importantly (because I think there should be more kindness and wisdom in this crazy world), that you will, when you must, be wise with your decisions, and that you will always be extra kind to yourself and others.
And, please leave Angel and me a comment below and let us know what you think of this post. Your feedback is important to us. 🙂
(Finally, if you haven’t done so already, be sure to sign-up for our free newsletter to receive new articles like this in your inbox each week.)
Gina says
A million thank yous wouldn’t be enough to express the gratitude I feel towards both of you for writing such brilliant articles and emails each week. Your words inspire me every single day in every way possible! Every time I read them, I wonder “How do these people know exactly the advice I need…” 🙂
This article particularly hit home… and hard! Especially #7 and #8… I always keep coming up with excuses to not do things. I really need to work on not lying to myself. Thank you again for the constant encouragement you provide… your words always make my day. Bless u both! And I’m also enjoying your new book. 🙂
Liz Hurley says
yes lying to oneself it’s not good
Rachel Lima says
Beautiful post. Sometimes in my daily grind I tend to lose sight of what is really important. Your posts and emails are always the wake-up call I need. Thank you so much for sharing.
Sandy P. says
Marc, what an intimate and beautiful story about your grandfather. I can relate on so many levels. Also, number 1 is such a profoundly important message. I had an opportunity to express my forgiveness to my ex-husband for divorcing me after our son tragically died. He just couldn’t cope, and I knew that’s what it was. I am so grateful for that conversation because three weeks later he died. I’m sure it was of a broken heart.
Thank you for weekly inspiration and healthy reminders.
Kathy R says
Marc, when I was 18, my beloved grandmother died. I was finishing my first year of university and she was in hospital. The last time I saw her, she was in pain and barely conscious. I asked the nurse if she had enough medication to ease the discomfort, but I did not stay by her side. I have always regretted not doing so. My mother almost never went to see her as she was dying and I still struggle with our lack of deep empathy and love. I always try now to be there for the people I love. Thanks for your story about your grandfather. We do learn the value of the moment as we get older. I imagine your grandfather was wise and knew you loved him despite your momentary lack of gratitude.
Paul B says
I am beginning to accept that what I am, right now, in this moment, is all I need to be worthy of love and respect. I don’t need to wait for the “until” –
I am so grateful to read and practice the words you share with me regularly.
George says
Wow…
Thanks
Esther says
Thank you for this amazing article. It is apt👌
Perla milner says
Thank you again… ring tone on my phone for years… “I just called to say I love you” (Stevie Wonder)❤️ People seem to have no time to pick up a phone and say these three words that mean so much! I do!
Rupali R says
Absolutely loved the depth and insight with which this article has been written. It is true inspiration from source – eye opening in sections touching those blind spots so very gently – just enough for the light to start peaking though. Hugely appreciated! Thank You so much!
Erin says
These emails are so inspirational to me. I look forward to reading them. Thank you for always seeming to know the right things to say. You guys are the best!
Patrick J Sweeney says
Marc, an outstanding piece of work. It’s going out to my extended family as a must read — and a must do.
Di says
I so appreciate and love your articles. Gentle reminders of how we all should be conducting our lives. You are both very inspiring. A very BIG THANK YOU.
Helen M Rachel says
thank you i am always inspired by reading your articles.
Sue Troise says
Loved this! Gratitude and appreciation of the people in our lives and all of our blessings and gifts is critical! I also liked the part about standing by others when they have weak or difficult times. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences with us.
Nina says
The worst part for a person ,at least for me ,is to support myself when facing a difficulty This is the time when all the guilt comes out and little voices blaming me in the sense . Why is it so hard to look after ourselves without abandoning us why can’t we show compassion love and befriend ourselves ? Why can’t we be wiser ,more patient and optimistic I always blow things out of proportion with lots of anxiety and impatience Can anybody relate ?
Cathy M Ross says
I can…totally. Here is something I learned not too long ago, and I’m now 57 years old. It has been very freeing for me. It’s simply this: don’t say anything to yourself that you wouldn’t say to a friend. Ask yourself this each time a negative thought of yourself comes into your head: How would I respond honestly yet kindly to my best friend in this same situation? Would you call her fat, ugly ,lazy,etc? If not, don’t say those things about yourself either.
Maria Bennett says
You both are so much appreciated.
Jesus and you guys, led by Him, keep me going .
Have a wonderful day.
Love,
Maria
sarah says
Thanks so much for the instant pick up and motivation – awesome stuff as always, and it’s amazing how it arrives at just the right moment! 🙂
Abena says
beautiful. loved it!
Harley Semaken says
Hey there Marc,
I’ve been reading your articles for over a year now and I’m proud to say that I have learned to practice daily positive rituals and growing through experiences are important to me to appreciate what I have. Thanks for the boost! Have a good day!
Linda Fann says
Thank you for reminding me to say I love you to all the people I care about. Life is a cinch inch by inch, when we trust God.
Thanks for your inspirattions
Kala Ravishankara says
Everyday I start my day with your inspirational, insight email. It’s general yet so realistic, applicable to everyone in every situation. Thanks …Marc and Angel…..appreciate your effort in empowering people & emphasizing the need to understand the value of life.
Tom says
Thank you. I needed to read this today!!!
Susan E. Ronnfeldt says
Thank you for this email and post. Your insight into what is needed arrived at the most opportune time today. It was not by accident. God had a plan and I needed to hear the message. Thank you. My husband passed 10 months ago today from cancer. The kids and I loved him so much. He was a great husband, father, and son. We miss him dearly but we know he is watching over us and looking out for us. He and God send us rainbows regularly when it has meaning. Yesterday was our 52nd wedding anniversary, and our daughter saw a rainbow on her way into work, yesterday morning.. We are so Blessed. Again, thank you for all of your positive meaningful messages.
Elle says
Because of your email and your list I took action on several issues I am dealing with. I have been sitting in the “what if’s” and worries about the unknown I was dealing with. I made some calls to get some answers and was able to erase some fears and doubts today. All thanks to you Marc. Thank you so much for this blog post.
Priya Coelho says
Love this article
Marie G. says
Thank you very much❤
Kim says
A few years ago, on a day I was praying to St Michael, the archangel, to intervene on my behalf for strength and guidance, one of your hack life posts mysteriously appeared in my inbox. Based upon both your website name, content, and the unreal timing, I subscribed. As I sit here now and reflect, I know it’s time to share. After a bitter divorce and having to raise 3 young kids into adulthood, I am finally able to live for me. Through pain is growth. Through giving you receive. And the timing is not of our choosing. Sometimes, faith is the only thing to hold onto. And, it is enough. Tomorrow I move from Chicago to Colorado to fulfill my calling. I don’t know exactly what that is, but would like to sincerely thank you for your part in my evolution. Blessings to you both.
Lillian says
Thank you! i love your posts! Today, this reminded me about something I have been using excuses not to do!
Wendy Malmborg says
I was 19 leaving on my big adventure around Australia as I drove away I watched my Mum waving from the footpath. I gave her my little stereo as she always said she would get one when I leave .. just one of all the things she said she would get later .. she didn’t get all those things as she died suddenly a few months later .. I have always been grateful my last memory of her and the lesson to really seize the moment, you might never get another chance to hug someone or to dance crazy or visit a friend.. Make time and life will fit in around it .That was nearly 50 years ago and have no regrets.
Capt. Guru N. Misra says
I am overwhelmed with the wealth of information documented as guidance. I love you both. With warm regards. Guru
Syed says
Thanks so much for such wake-up words of wisdom! 🙏🏽💚
Korinyamg says
I am so thrilled to have ever met you in this blog… Everything you write affects me positively and moves me forward for better motives.. I love you dearly marc and Angel. Keep it up!
Korinyamg says
I am so thrilled to have ever met you in this blog… Everything you write affects me positively and moves me forward for better motives.. I love you dearly marc and Angel. Keep it up!
WD says
Thank you! I really needed this encouragement and validation in this message today. I now move forward with a better mindset than I had 5 minutes ago. Thank you!
Kathleen says
Awesome! This was great thank you for sharing your wisdom!!!
Jane Jones says
This was the post with my name on it. I am simply miserable in inertia, procrastination and fear. Stuck is an understatement. I feel if I had a mentor, accountability partner, I could get on with things I need to deal with. I’ve heard that is a good choice for someone like me. I have a therapist but that’s limited. Should you have advice how to find one for someone with limited income, I would be grateful. Thanks for this post, it was insightful and valuable.
Sincerely,
Stuck in pain.
Lynn says
Hi Jane,
I’m happy to help mentor you, even if by email to start. I’ve been there. Now I’m free. Love yourself, love your life, but it begins with self acceptance, and self love. You are so wise to reach out and ask for a mentor, I admire this, and it takes a lot of courage to do this. So be proud of yourself! May I ask how old you are? I’m 54. I too wish I had a mentor, and I did for little while, my dear mother in law, but she lived out of State, then passed away. God has now sent me my sister in law. She’s 62. Women need women, and women need to mentor other women. May you keep turning to God for wisdom.
Huong says
Marc & Angel ⭐️
The writing is so Powerful! I think they are very true about life.
The writer is really telling about the
Life of emotional grief and relationships. This article has been touched my heart so deeply. Sometimes ,
The path of life we’re on for the time
To time through out… but there are so
many thorns and rocks …
It’s very hard to conquer over that difficult path…
Thank You So Much to the Writer!!!
Alma V. says
Your words are truly delightful, inspiring, uplifting, and comforting. They are words to live by, to strive by, to just be. They are words that will never let you down because they are the words you tell yourself every day. They are words that will never leave you astray. This is not the first post I’ve read. Every blog resonates with me because its relatable. These posts are never discriminatory because we are all human, just living a human existence.
Laureen Bakhitah says
To be sincere I could not have said anything better than these words to anyone myself.
I love all the articles and I will surely live them myself.
Thanks Marc& Angel
Megan Hoffer says
I’m literally sitting in the airport tearing up right now over this post. Thank you. Hugs, Megan
Tina S says
Thank you. This post was much needed today. I have to have an uncomfortable conversation with a staff member this morning. Plus it has prompted me to realize that I have plateaued at my current employer. I submitted a resume to an organization that lights a fire in my belly. Keep believing in yourself.
+-Life. says
Thanks for writing this inspiring post!
I think that people are also afraid of trying due to the fear of the unknown.
Personally, I don’t mind failing but it’s all the “what-ifs” that keep replaying in my mind that deter me from trying out something new.
Amelia mansellthomas says
Focusing on your mental health is important and your article brings that out. It appears , one can only self actualize once they get all your mental “ducks “ in order. Then , you are in a position to help others.
Mary Weddle says
There is never a time that I don’t get a lot out of what you post. Generally too, it nails issues or thoughts that I am currently dealing with. There is nothing that I disagree with above and I am thankful for the reminders. We do take so much for granted, and I do not want to do that.