In the end, the questions you ask of yourself
determine the type of person you become.
If you’re human, you’ve shared in the experience of seeking validation.
It may be a simmering, subconscious compulsion – to get promoted, to get another degree, to lift a heavier weight or do a harder yoga pose – to be more, in some way, than you are now.
Or maybe you’re on the front lines of your battle for self-worth, constantly questioning yourself. “Do I have a right to her love? Surely she’ll leave me.” “Am I good enough to let my voice be heard at this meeting? I’d better defer to my colleagues.”
Whatever your striving for validation looks like, you are not alone. Renowned social psychology researcher Albert Bandura showed that we’re constantly comparing ourselves against others and making decisions accordingly.
This is a smart strategy from an evolutionary perspective – fitting in is a good way to survive.
But we’re no longer trying simply to survive. The luxury and curse of our era is that we can do virtually anything we want with our lives.
And in this world of possibility, you are leaving your greatest potential unfulfilled by letting others define what success means for you.
When I look around at my peers, I see brilliant people who are changing the world: doctors, lawyers, humanitarian sector workers, blossoming corporate champions, entrepreneurs, etc. [Read more…]