The 15 Most Common White Lies and Why

White LiesEveryone tells a white lie on occasion, it’s just a question of why.  Some white lies save relationships, some ease a hectic situation, and others buy us time.  The list could go on forever.  Stretching the truth is a natural component of human instinct because it’s the easy way out.  We all do it, so there is no reason to deny it.  Honestly, I think the world is probably a better place because of our white lies.

As long as we aren’t hurting others or breaking the law, these innocent lies can make life more pleasant.  They can absorb potential friction between our varying personalities and vacillating moods as we nudge into one another on the quest through our daily routine.  Most of these white lies only stretch an interpretation of what the truth actually is anyways.  Given our rigid optimism to each lead a tailored ideal life, white lies simply cushion us from ourselves.

Here’s my list of the 15 most common white lies and why we tell them:

  1. It wasn’t me! – Because some things just aren’t worth taking credit for.
  2. The table will be ready in 5 minutes. – Because it sounds a lot better than 15 minutes.
  3. Oh, yeah.  That makes sense. – Because option B involves admitting that I am clueless.
  4. Thank you so much!  I just love it! – Because telling someone that their gift sucked would make me look like an insensitive jerk.
  5. Yeah, you look great in that dress. – Because it’s better than being slapped.
  6. Oh, things would have been different if I was there! – Because I’m Superman and I can always make a difference… or at least that’s how I want others to perceive of me.
  7. No, officer… I have no idea how fast I was going. – Because claiming ignorance is sometimes better than admitting to insubordination.
  8. I’m 29. – Because 29 is like 20 years younger than 30.
  9. Yeah, I’ll start working on that ASAP! – Because telling you I have 10 things to do first would just irritate you.
  10. Yes, John was with me last night. – Because that’s what friends do… we agree and ask questions later.
  11. My resume is 5 pages long for a good reason. – Because I’m darn good at bullshittin’!
  12. Man, that sucker was 10 feet long! – Because anything less would be boring.
  13. Yeah, I was a badass on my high school football team! – Because I want to be seen by others in an even stronger light than I see myself.
  14. I’m 21, 6’5, with a muscular build. – Because you can’t see me in this online chat room… ha ha!
  15. I thought I already sent that email out.  I’m sure I did. – Because telling you that it was a low priority and I forgot would probably hurt our relationship.

Also, check out these best selling books on common white lies:

Want a flashback of crappy 1990’s web design? Visit MySpace!

MySpace Web Design SucksI think I’m one of the proud few who can honestly say: “I have never opened a MySpace account and I am darn proud of it!”  The web design and interface of an average MySpace user profile page is atrocious!  Everything that sucked about gaudy 1990’s web design is incorporated whole hardily into every facet of these pages.  And unfortunately for the rest of us, the trend of poor design seems to be spreading like a viral infection from one MySpace profile page to the next.

Do you want a MySpace page that is guaranteed to help you fit in with the majority?  Allow me enlighten you:

The more flashing graphics you have on your profile page, the better!  Add at least 100 digital photos, cropped in all different sizes, all over your homepage.  Organization is of no concern.  Have a loud rock or rap mp3 queued for auto-launch as soon as a visitor hits your page, and make sure the media player’s stop button is hidden amongst the clutter of random photos and flashing graphics.

Then, tile the background with a really bright, high contrast image… Or better yet, use a large, high contrast, fixed background image right in the center of your page.  No worries, your fellow MySpacer’s will be happy to scroll around your flashy fixed background image in order to read the insightful content squeezed into your two sentence “About Me” blurb.  Oh, and don’t concern yourself with populating that optional blog thingy with intelligent content.  Your MySpace friends just want you to mesmerize them upon a single glance, so continue to concentrate all your efforts on uploading more photos and animations.

Sorry for the sarcastic negativity… but, I just pray that this 90’s web design virus stays contained within the MySpace domain.  I understand MySpace uses sophisticated Web 2.0 technologies on the backend, but gosh, the front end is an open wound of bad taste.

Jim Crammer, Mad or Right?

Here are a couple short (kinda funny) video clips for anybody that’s even slightly tangled up in the extremely volatile stock market swings that have taken place over the last couple of weeks.  Jim Cramer, long time hedge fund manager and host of CNBC’s Mad Money blew his lid last Friday during a discussion about the weak U.S. credit markets.  He went on to say that Fed Chairman Ben Bernake is playing “academic games” and that fixed income financial Armageddon is upon us.  The Monday after this segment aired the market rebounded 289 points, and then today it tumbled back down 387 points.  You do the math.

Critics say his advice is subjective nonsense.  Advocates say he’s the only big stock market guru who speaks the truth to the average American stockholder.  I personally like the guy because, win or loose, he’s passionate about what he does and he tells you exactly what’s on his mind.  This is a little off-topic with my recent posts, but I really thought it was worth sharing.

The original CNBC news feed:

A Comedy Central Colbert Report recap with Jim Cramer:

Made Me Laugh Out Loud

These two graphics made me laugh out loud… literally!  :-)  I hope that they will bring a smile to your face as well…

Men Have It Bad

Quality Advice

15 Things 2007 College Freshmen Do Not Remember

FreshmenThere are several things this year’s incoming college freshmen don’t remember that most mid to late twenty-something’s will never forget.  It’s a clear sign of the inevitable change in the times.  I was recently reminded of this when I spoke with an 18 year old college freshman at my cousin’s wedding last week.  We were joking around about the old-school selection of music the D.J. was playing.  I made a sarcastic comment about the D.J. stealing my old 80’s – 90’s radio recorded mix-tape collection in order to construct his wedding reception dance mix.  The girl looked at me with a puzzled face.  “You recorded all your music off of the radio?” she asked.  “Oh man!” I thought.  “I’m getting old!”

In reality, most 2007 college freshmen were born in 1989 and probably barely remember any the following… it’s scary:

  1. The Space Shuttle Challenger disaster
  2. Ronald Reagan
  3. The Cold War and the Berlin Wall
  4. Hardback (Funk & Wagnalls) encyclopedia sets
  5. Getting tangled up in a long kitchen phone cord
  6. Setting the record timer on your VCR
  7. When Michael Jackson and the moonwalk were cool
  8. Recording music off the radio
  9. Desert Storm
  10. A floppy disk
  11. Windows 95
  12. The Nintendo Entertainment System (and Duck Hunt)
  13. The Oklahoma City Bombing
  14. The O.J. Simpson Trial
  15. Life before the World Wide Web