Learn to love yourself first, instead of loving the idea of other people loving you.
“Today I lost the respect of a few people I love, and the desire to kill myself, when I finally took your advice and told everyone the truth about who I really am and what I’ve decided to do with my life. In a nutshell, I’ve chosen to love and honor myself, instead of convincing others to do it for me every day.”
Those are lines right out of a live chat session I had this morning with a longtime reader and recent course member of ours. Although this person asked to remain anonymous, they gave me permission to share this with you, and I’m so glad they did.
Because the greatest struggle in life is the struggle to accept, embrace and love ourselves, with all of our imperfections. To be 100% honest about who we are, how we feel and what we need. To stop discrediting ourselves for everything we aren’t, and start giving ourselves credit for everything we are. And to be aware that not everyone we love will agree with us every step of the way, and to be OK with it.
We have to learn to be our own best friends, because sometimes we fall too easily into the trap of being our own worst enemies. We love the idea of others loving us, and we forget to love ourselves.
What we must realize is that our greatest task is not about discovering self-love; it’s about breaking down the walls we have built against it. When we have the courage to push through these walls – to know and embrace ourselves, despite our humanness, our flaws, and our rejections – we also open the door to connecting in more caring, empathic and intimate ways with others who are truly worth loving.
Which is why it’s time to…
- Start telling yourself what you love about yourself. – In your own life it’s important to know how spectacular you are. You really have to look in the mirror and be kind. Because what we see in the mirror is often what we see in the world. Our disappointment in others often reflects our disappointment in ourselves. Our acceptance of others often reflects our acceptance of ourselves. Our ability to see potential in others often reflects our ability to see potential in ourselves. Our patience with others often reflects our patience with ourselves. You get the idea – you’ve got to show yourself some love first and foremost.
- Be one with what is. – Something that’s really difficult, but totally worth it, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the journey of becoming your true self. The most beautiful part of this journey is simply returning to the peaceful feeling of being. This peace is the result of retraining your mind to process life as it is, rather than as you think it should be. [Read more…]