5 Powerful Rituals of Mentally Strong People

5 Habits of People With Remarkable Mental Strength

“Nothing can dim the light which shines from within.”
―Maya Angelou

“My dad is a blind cancer survivor.  He lost both his eyes when he was in his early 30’s to a rare form of cancer.  Despite this, he raised my sister and I, and took care of my mom who was in and out of rehab for alcoholism and depression.  My mom is a fully recovered alcoholic now, my sister and I have graduated college, and my parents are still together and back to being happy.  I’m certain none of this would have been possible if my dad hadn’t been such a resilient, positive force in our lives.  My dad’s mental strength literally saved our family.”

Those are lines right out of an email I received this morning from Kristin, a coaching/course student of ours (I’m sharing this with permission).  Her portrayal of her dad is both inspiring and a wonderful reminder of the importance of inner resilience.  With enough mental strength, an ordinary human being can be an extraordinary hero.

And you don’t have to be born mentally strong either.  You can develop this vital trait with practice.  Here are five key things people with remarkable mental strength do daily:

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1.  They use passion and love to fuel their drive to get the hard things done.

Life is not easy, which is why you have to do hard things to be happy in life.  The things no one else is doing.  The things that frighten you.  The things others can’t do for you.  The things that make you question how much longer you can hold on and push forward.

Because those are the things that define you.  Those are the things that make the [Read more…]

40 Powerful Mantras to Help You Think Positive

40 Powerful Mantras to Help You Think Positive

When things go wrong, don’t go with them.

“I don’t want to feel overwhelmed.  I’m tired of the anxiety and stress.  Too often my mind is consumed with negative thoughts and my body is filled with physical tension.  It hurts.  I don’t want to feel like this.  I don’t want to feel like I live in a whirlwind of exhaustion 24/7.  I don’t want to just ‘get by’ day to day…”

Those are the opening lines right out of a live chat session I had last night with a long-time reader and recent course student of ours.  I’m sharing this with you today (with permission) because, in slightly different words, I’ve literally heard this same message from coaching clients, students and readers 1,000+ times over the past decade.

Can you relate?  To an extent, I bet you can.  Sometimes we all can.

Whenever I’m coaching someone who shares these feelings, I gracefully shift their focus from what they don’t want to what they DO want.  Because I know that what we focus on grows stronger in our lives.  I remind them that their life story is an expression of who they believe themselves to be – the thoughts and words they choose to express themselves, gradually shapes the core of their identity and destiny.

So let me ask you this:

How have you written your story so far?  Have you put your thoughts and words to positive use?  If I eavesdropped on your self-talk or your conversations with others, would I hear statements that create happiness, or statements that refute it?

Your ability to write a positive life story hinges on your language.  It is your inner and outer verbal expression that makes your joy possible and that infuses your life with purpose, meaning and vitality.

So today, I challenge you to replace your negative thoughts and words with positive alternatives.  Take a look at the quotes below that I have selected from our blog archive.  Pick one (or more) of them that relates to your present troubles, and use it as a mantra by repeating it to yourself every time you feel negativity creeping up inside you.

  1. If the grass looks greener on the other side…  Stop staring.  Stop comparing.  Stop complaining and start watering the grass you’re standing on.
  2. Satisfaction is not always the fulfillment of what you want; it is the realization of how blessed you are for what you have.
  3. Sometimes you just have to look back at your past and smile about how far you’ve come. [Read more…]

16 Simple Ways to Love Yourself Again

16 Simple Ways to Love Yourself Again

Learn to love yourself first, instead of loving the idea of other people loving you.

“Today I lost the respect of a few people I love, and the desire to kill myself, when I finally took your advice and told everyone the truth about who I really am and what I’ve decided to do with my life.  In a nutshell, I’ve chosen to love and honor myself, instead of convincing others to do it for me every day.”

Those are lines right out of a live chat session I had this morning with a longtime reader and recent course member of ours.  Although this person asked to remain anonymous, they gave me permission to share this with you, and I’m so glad they did.

Because the greatest struggle in life is the struggle to accept, embrace and love ourselves, with all of our imperfections.  To be 100% honest about who we are, how we feel and what we need.  To stop discrediting ourselves for everything we aren’t, and start giving ourselves credit for everything we are.  And to be aware that not everyone we love will agree with us every step of the way, and to be OK with it.

We have to learn to be our own best friends, because sometimes we fall too easily into the trap of being our own worst enemies.  We love the idea of others loving us, and we forget to love ourselves.

What we must realize is that our greatest task is not about discovering self-love; it’s about breaking down the walls we have built against it.  When we have the courage to push through these walls – to know and embrace ourselves, despite our humanness, our flaws, and our rejections – we also open the door to connecting in more caring, empathic and intimate ways with others who are truly worth loving.

Which is why it’s time to…

  1. Start telling yourself what you love about yourself. – In your own life it’s important to know how spectacular you are.  You really have to look in the mirror and be kind.  Because what we see in the mirror is often what we see in the world.  Our disappointment in others often reflects our disappointment in ourselves.  Our acceptance of others often reflects our acceptance of ourselves.  Our ability to see potential in others often reflects our ability to see potential in ourselves.  Our patience with others often reflects our patience with ourselves.  You get the idea – you’ve got to show yourself some love first and foremost.
  2. Be one with what is. – Something that’s really difficult, but totally worth it, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the journey of becoming your true self.  The most beautiful part of this journey is simply returning to the peaceful feeling of being.  This peace is the result of retraining your mind to process life as it is, rather than as you think it should be. [Read more…]

5 Ways to Find Beauty in Painful Life Changes

5 Ways to Find Beauty in Painful Life Changes

Stepping onto a brand new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation that no longer fits, or no longer exists.

The reason for our suffering, in all walks of life, is our resistance to life’s inevitable changes.

And life is all changes.  To have lived is to have changed often.

Sometimes this is hard to accept…

What you have today may become what you had by tomorrow.  You never know.  Things change, often spontaneously.  People and circumstances come and go.  Life doesn’t stop for anybody.  It moves rapidly and rushes from calm to chaos in a matter of seconds, and happens like this to people every day.  It’s likely happening to someone nearby right now.

Sometimes the shortest split second in time changes the direction of our lives.  A seemingly innocuous decision rattles our whole world like a meteorite striking Earth.  Entire lives have been swiveled and flipped upside down, for better or worse, on the strength of an unpredictable event.  And these events are always happening.

However good or bad a situation is now, it will change.  That’s the one thing you can count on.

And while I resist change, and suffer sometimes just like everyone else, I have learned to adapt.  I have learned to be flexible and look for the beauty in life’s changes, even when they aren’t what I want.  But before we get into how to do that, let’s take a look at…

Common Life changes All of Us Tend to Resist

  1. Someone you respect snaps and yells at you – The change is rooted in the fact that we expect certain people to behave a certain way.  Specifically, we expect them to always treat us kindly, fairly and respectfully, but the reality is that they don’t.  They lose their tempers sometimes.  And when they do, we resist this reality, and want things to be the way we want them to be.  It forces us to change our perceptions and expectations.  And so we get confused, agitated, or even offended. [Read more…]

40 Quotes that Will Quiet Your Mind

40 Quotes that Will Quiet Your Mind

Peace does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. Peace means to be in the midst of all those things and still be calm in your heart.

You know how you always turn down the volume on the radio when you need to think clearly about something complicated or confusing?

The same is true for your life in general.  The noise you need to cut out to concentrate?  That’s the noise in your head – the busy, worried thoughts screaming over your better judgment.

Turning down the radio refocuses your mind and offers you clarity when you need it most.  You don’t really think about how or why this makes such a huge difference, you just know that it does.

Now it’s time to apply this same strategy to all the other noise in your life, starting with the noise in your head.  And although it’s not quite as easy as spinning the radio’s volume dial, the good news is you can quiet your mind and train it to think more rationally simply by reminding yourself to do so every day.  Some people call them affirmations, or mantras, or convictions, but in any case these daily reminders keep you on track by keeping peaceful, productive thoughts at the top of your mind, even when life gets noisy.

Here are 40 quotes gathered from our blog archive that can be used as reminders to help tweak your thoughts and quiet your anxious mind:

  1. Everything is created twice, first in the mind and then in reality.  So pay close attention to the thoughts you choose.  They have a way of becoming real.
  2. There is absolutely nothing about your present circumstances that prevents you from making progress, one step at a time.
  3. Worry, and you get what you worry about.  Work, and you get what you work for.  It’s often just that simple. [Read more…]