Marc and Angel Hack Life

This guest post was written by Bud, author of A Boundless World.

Do you remember that time when you came up short?  Do you remember that time when you failed miserably?  Assuming you have a pulse, it’s safe to say you do.

Falling short and making mistakes are part of being human.  They are the challenges that make our lifelong journeys so extraordinary.  While coming up short isn’t always easy to deal with at the time, looking back at our failures can teach us an amazing amount about ourselves.

When I ran cross-country in high school, I fell short numerous times.  But it was my shortcomings that fueled the fire inside me, forcing me to train even harder… and eventually, I reached my goal.

Freshman Year

During my freshman year in high school my parents and I decided that it was in my best interest to partake in a sport.  Not being the most coordinated kid in the world left me with very few options to pursue. It turns out cross-country running was the perfect sport for me.

Joining my schools cross-country team was perhaps one of the greatest decisions I have ever made.  The sport took a kid who was lazy and unmotivated, and transformed him into a student of excellence.  While I still had my moments of laziness, my outlook on life drastically improved.

One of the reasons cross-country was so beneficial for me was that our team was consistently one of the best teams in the nation.  So I was always surrounded by people who wanted to be extraordinary.

At first, I actually didn’t want to be extraordinary.  I figured it was too difficult.  I simply put in enough work to be “average” and nothing more.  But as I began to see my teammates succeed, I thought, “Hey why not me?” The attitudes of my teammates quickly rubbed off on me and made me strive for more.

One of my goals for freshman year was to run a mile in under 5 minutes – a respectable time for a high school runner.

Having a clear goal in mind, I got motivated and began putting in the necessary work.  And I was getting closer and closer.  But then, out of nowhere, I became ill.

An Unexpected Setback

Cross country running is not the easiest of sports.  This is especially true when you’re running with one of the top running programs in the nation.  Our weekly mileage training requirements often exceeded 50 miles.  Running demands an extreme amount of time and energy in order to succeed.  And my body began to reject the training.

One day during practice my legs became unusually sore.  But I initially assumed the soreness was just part of the sport, so I continued to run for a few days more.  Then during a light jog one afternoon I became light headed and fell to the ground.  My legs completely gave out.  And I realized then that something was seriously wrong with me.

It turns out that my immune system was taxed to the point where it literally began eating the muscles in my legs.  For an entire week I could barely move my legs on my own.  Over the next several months I was in and out of hospitals taking test after test, trying to figure out what was wrong.  Although I was prescribed various medications, I never learned exactly what it was.

And it took nearly six months before I began running again.

5:01

Coming back from such a large setback was extremely difficult to say the least.  Not only was I behind physically, but my mental game was off as well.  I was scared of pain.  I didn’t want to push myself because I feared that I might grow ill again.

These negative thoughts impacted my ability to perform at the level I knew I was capable of.  So even though I started training again, I continued to fall short of my five minute mile goal.  But through the guidance and support I received from my family and friends, I was able to forge ahead.

So I continued to dedicate myself to my goal.  When my sophomore track season began, I couldn’t have been more excited.  I was certain I was going to break five minutes on the opening race.

But as it turns out, I didn’t.  Instead of breaking five, I ended up running a 5:01 in one of the greatest races of my cross-country career.  And although I didn’t conquer my goal, I still remember the feeling of joy that shot through my body - not because of the time, but because I knew without question that I gave it my all.

Overcoming Obstacles

Our lives are naturally filled with obstacles.  It’s impossible to avoid them.  If you try, they will ultimately stop you from living.

Your failures and shortcomings are a healthy part of your life’s story.  So embrace them.  Experience failure, learn from it, and breathe.  At the end of the day you have the final say on how you experience reality.

Remember, the long road of falling short eventually leads to victory.  Because winning is simply the act of never quitting.

Oh… And during the later part of my sophomore year, I finally ran a 4:54 mile.

Bud Hennekes is dedicated to changing the way people think about themselves. His blog www.aboundlessworld.com empowers people to create and live in a blissful reality.  His hobbies vary, but more often than not he enjoys meditating, reading, connecting with people, and writing.

Photo by: Stuck in Customs

Somewhere Else

During my competitive cross-country running days it wasn’t uncommon for me to run five miles at 5AM and another ten miles at 10PM, six days a week.  I was competitive.  I wanted to win races.  And I was smart enough to know that if I dedicated myself to extra training, while my opponents were sleeping or socializing, I would be one step ahead of them when we crossed the finish line.

When I first started these early morning and late night runs, the experience was rather brutal.  My body didn’t want to cooperate.  It ached and cramped up.  And I found out that the only way to endure the extra training was to disassociate my mind from my body, putting my mind somewhere else while my body ran.

Can’t Relate

Over time, I became quite proficient at doing this.  I got so good at it, in fact, that I actually looked forward to the runs.  Because when I ran, my mind was clear and at peace with the world – especially when nobody else was around.  In the midst of what seemed to be a strenuous workout, my mind was in a soothingly relaxed state… similar to that of a deep meditation.

I don’t compete in races anymore, but I still run almost every day.  Even though I no longer have to, I typically still run in the wee hours of the morning or very late at night.  And since my friends know that I have a flexible work schedule, most of them think I’m a bit weird for running at such ‘odd’ hours.  I’ve tried to explain to them why I do it, and how it soothes my mind.  But they can’t relate.  So I’m still a weirdo in their eyes.

She Was Right

Last night, I went running on the Pacific Beach boardwalk at 11PM.  It was calm and quiet out – just the way I like it.  I was about three miles into my run when a peculiar looking woman sitting on the boardwalk’s barrier wall shouted, “Hey, you!” and then waved me down.  My first inclination was to just ignore her and continue running.  But my curiosity got the best of me.  So I stopped.

The woman had long blonde dreadlocks, several piercings in her ears and nose, tattoos on both arms, and a Grateful Dead t-shirt on.  She was strumming an acoustic guitar and had a thick, white joint burning in a small ashtray beside her.

She stopped strumming her guitar and began to chuckle as soon as she saw me looking down at the joint.  “Don’t worry,” she said.  “I’m legit.  I have a medical prescription for it.”

“It’s none of my business,” I quickly replied.

“Anyway,” she continued.  “Perhaps you don’t realize this, but it’s pretty late to be out exercising.  I’ve seen you out here a few times before, running after midnight.”

“So, what’s your point?” I asked.

“Well thousands of people run on this boardwalk every single day, but you seem to be the only runner I see in the middle of the night.  And it strikes me as being kind of weird.  So what’s your deal?”

I told her about my love for a quite landscape, and the way in which running soothes my mind. “…like a deep mediation,” I told her.

She smiled, strummed once on her guitar, and took a drag of her joint.  “Well then, I’m doing the same thing as you right now,” she replied.  “Only in my own way – a way that works for me.  Can you dig that?”

I stared at her for a second and then laughed, because I knew she was right. “Yeah, I can dig that,” I said.  She winked and started strumming her guitar again.  I winked back and started running again.

Conclusion

Some of us run in the middle of the night.  Some of us strum acoustic guitars and smoke joints.  And others go to church.  Or sip expensive wine.  Or surf on dangerous waves.  Or jump out of perfectly good airplanes.  When we try to understand people by personally relating to the things that they do, we usually can’t make any sense of it.  Because it’s easier to see weirdness in a sea of normality, than it is to decode the logical methods behind one’s madness.

But when we look just a little deeper, by making a noble effort to understand people by truly listening to why they do the things that they do, they never seem quite as weird.  Actually, they begin to seem…

Almost normal.

Photo by: Zara

This guest post was written by Sid Savara, author of Analysis Driven Personal Development.

Day One

The very first day of class, I walked in and addressed my students.

“You will be graded on your homework, weekly quizzes and two exams. I do not play favorites, I do not grant extensions, and I do not grade on a curve.”

One hand shot up “Is it true that less than half of your students pass?”

“Yes, that’s true. Last semester out of 17 students, 5 earned a B or better. You are welcome to switch sections if you want.”

Four of the students got up and left, but Albert, somewhat surprisingly remained. Albert was one of my students last semester. Last semester he wasn’t doing too well, and I told him he may be better off dropping the class - but he stuck it out to the end, and earned a D for his efforts.

I spoke to him after class again today, and he assured me this semester was going to be different. He was determined to do better.

Albert came in for office hours, frequently emailed me for help and struggled with the material. He did better, but continued to have difficulty with some of the same concepts he had struggled with the previous semester.

In the end, things did turn out differently. Instead of a D, Albert had earned a C, when a B was required to continue to the next level. He would have to repeat Introduction to Computer Science for a third time.

The Next Semester

The following semester I had a batch of 15 students - Albert among them. I gave them the usual speech, a few switched sections, but Albert stayed in his seat. I puled him aside after class.

“Albert, I hope you understand the situation. You could easily pass this class if you took a different section. You know that I grade strictly, I don’t accept late work, and I don’t grade on a curve. Are you sure you want to remain in my section - or would you rather switch?”

“You know, I appreciate your concern Sid. I’ll think about it” he said.

The next week he was back in class - my class. Albert was in my section to stay, but I wasn’t going to go easy on him just because it was his third time. In some ways, I was even harder on him. He was focused and tried hard, but he was no model student. His grades fluctuated from Ds to Bs, and I had to have the old mid-semester “Do you want to drop out?” talk with him once again. Once again, he opted to stay for the whole semester rather than take the incomplete.

Finally, this was to be his semester - he barely earned his B. I was proud of him - and a bit relieved I wouldn’t have him repeating my class a fourth time.

My Class Grows

After Albert made it out of my class, something interesting happened. A couple semesters later my section started to grow, and I soon had to turn people away because my section was full.

Why would people continue to sign up for my section when they knew they I was a harsh grader, and they stood a better chance of passing in a different class? I asked them, and learned that Albert had recommended me. Apparently, he was doing well in the upper level courses and when people asked him why, he told them he had learned a lot from being my student.

I had to go find out for myself what was going on.

Why didn’t you just switch?

I learned that Albert wasn’t just doing well in courses - he was now tutoring undergraduates in computer science. I caught up with him one day, and asked him for the full story.

He told me that as classmates struggled in the higher level classes, he was so thankful I had been hard on him and forced him to really learn the introductory material without passing him along. By letting him struggle, when he actually passed my course he knew he was ready for the next level, and that confidence helped motivate him in future classes. Because I was so harsh on him in his introductory courses, it didn’t faze him when later professors were strict with deadlines, because he was already used to it.

“I appreciate that, but you didn’t need three semesters to leaern that. Why didn’t you just switch sections your second semester instead of repeating my section over and over?” I asked him. “I gave you the chance to switch twice, and you know you could have passed in a different section.”

“I know,” he said, ” but I needed to know that I had what it takes.”

“If you can find a path with no obstacles,
it probably doesn’t lead anywhere.”
- Frank A. Clark

Conclusion

Albert may have learned a thing or two about computer science from me, but I learned a valuable life lesson from him. He already knew the value of hard work and persistence, but having him as my student has taught me that when you expect the best out of people, they’ll give you their best. People don’t want to be coddled, and they don’t want rewards they don’t deserve.

Just like Albert, many of us have the potential to accomplish great things, and will willingly struggle against obstacles time and time again.

We struggle because we believe the journey is worth it.

We struggle because we want to improve ourselves.

We struggle because we know we have what it takes.

Sid Savara is the author of Analysis Driven Personal Development, a blog where he discusses personal development, lifehacking and personal productivity. For more inspiration, sign up for his newsletter and receive a free copy of The Little Book Of Big Motivational Quotes.

Photo by: Greekadman

Magic Happens

I’ve always believed in the beauty of a great journey – discovering new places, seeking life experiences, fostering relationships and pursuing my dreams.  In fact, it’s all I’ve ever really wanted to do.  I just want to believe in something that’s worth believing in and then pursue it with every facet of my being.

Such journeys, I’ve found, are best when we share them with others who, like me, are ‘crazy’ enough to assume that our wildest dreams are just a brief distance away from reality.  These are the folks who realize that ‘impossible’ is simply a mindset – something we get when we haven’t trained our minds and our hearts to see past the systems that currently exist to ones that don’t yet exist.  Because when our minds and our hearts and our hands work together, magic happens.

Fear

And only one thing has ever prevented me from making this magic happen more often.  Fear.  Being afraid of what others might think.  Afraid of the repercussions of putting my crazy ideas out there for the world to see and judge.  Afraid to let go of my comfort zone and just go for it.  Because… What if I fail?  What if… What if…

Now, in most situations, fear no longer stands in my way.  But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.  It most certainly does.  I’ve just learned to curb my fears and adapt to change a bit more proficiently than I used to.  But I still feel the nerves of fear sneak up on me.  And the more important something or someone is to me, the more nervous I get, the more I stumble over my words, and the more I sound like an incoherent fool.

A few years ago when I began talking to my friends and family about my goal to write and start the blog that would eventually become Marc and Angel Hack Life, I mostly got half smiles, nods, and quizzical facial reactions. And when I tried to say anything meaningful to Angel when we first met back in September of 2000, she would often laugh at me because she literally found herself trying to decode my jumbled, shaky sentences.

Clarity

One of the most remarkable things about our lives is that clarity and progression occur with enduring love, passion, and patience.  This blog is now an easy topic for me to talk about… and now, it’s even easy for others to talk about, including my friends and family.  And although it may take her a second or two, Angel now gets the gist of my jumbled, shaky sentences almost immediately.

And that makes me smile.  Because I want to continue to evolve and grow with the people and dreams that inspire me.  After all, I only have one shot – like we all do – to make this life meaningful.  And I know for sure, after coping with my fears on numerous journeys, that I would rather sound stupid…

Than be stupid and take no action at all.

Photo by: Darwin Bell

This guest post was written by Dayne, the author of TheHappySelf.com.

Happiness can be elusive when life is too complicated.

As daily commitments multiply, we find ourselves becoming conditioned to shifting between multiple tasks, creating lengthy to-do lists and juggling complicated schedules.  When we’re not overwhelmed, we may feel proud that we can keep up with it all.  It’s all part of making a living, but in the end it can stand in the way of making a life.

Does your schedule leave you time for things that bring true happiness?

These things vary for each of us, but for most people true happiness consists of spending time with loved ones and engaging in activities that reveal the richness and beauty of the world around us.

To get the most out of these activities, you must approach them from a place of stillness, peace and calm.

A busy life can be personally fulfilling, but it may leave you feeling too frazzled to achieve the stillness and peace that will allow you to connect with deep happiness and the underlying beauty of life.  You can’t just walk away from the responsibilities that fracture your time, but you can simplify your life so that your mind is calmer and more open to the hidden treasures in life.

Here are 7 ways to get started with simplifying your life and working towards a more peaceful state of mind.

1. Question your dependence on material possessions.  Recognize the difference between things you need and things you want.  Our culture bombards us with messages about material things that will make our lives better.  The reality is that most of these things will clutter our lives without bringing true happiness.  Free yourself from the culture of excess and learn to be content with fewer possessions and greater simplicity.
2. Think for yourself.  If you spend your life playing out a role that society or someone else defines, you’re missing out on the chance to follow your own desires.  Your inner life is diminished when you are limited by conformity.  Why give up your freedom and allow all of your decisions to be defined by what you think you “should” do?  Become a non-conformist and think for yourself, letting your passions be your guide.
3. Rethink your commitments.  Life is full of opportunities to earn money, give service, learn new skills and make new friends.  Some of us want it all and fill up our calendars with activities and obligations.  Over-committing is the surest way to banish stillness and calm from your life.  Rushing from one activity to another leaves you with no time to slow down, observe and let things happen.  No matter how worthy you think your commitments are, rethink and prioritize them.  Keep the ones that are most important and eliminate the ones that are adding to the hectic pace of your life with little return.
4. Create more free time.  Once you’ve balanced your commitments, find ways to increase your free time.  Eliminate time wasters and re-evaluate your chores.  If you spend hours each week cleaning house, see if you can do a little less and have more free time.  Eliminating clutter from your home will make it easier to clean.  Once you’ve created more free time, fill it with activities that develop your inner self.  Spend some time alone and spend some with the people you care about most.  Focus on calming activities.
5. Savor the simple pleasures.  How often do you prepare a healthy and delicious meal and then savor every bite of it?  Instead of rushing through meals, barely tasting what you’re eating, take time to enjoy them.  Invest time in other simple pleasures – work in your garden, take a relaxing soak in a hot tub or bath, bike or hike through a nature preserve.  Unless you’re retired, you probably can’t do these things every day, but fitting them into your schedule even once or twice a week will have a calming effect on your life.
6. Focus on the present moment.  When you’re over-committed, you can end up rushing from one thing to the next without enjoying or even being very conscious of the world around you.  There’s always the hope that when things slow down you’ll have time to enjoy life.  Maybe you look forward to the weekend or an annual vacation, thinking that you’ll be able to find a way to slow down.  Instead of looking to the future, learn to focus on the present moment.  Enjoy what you’re doing in the here and now.  You can find serenity in even the most mundane task if you really give it your attention and do it mindfully.
7. Give up some control.  No matter how much we plan, we can never predict what the future will bring.  Trying to exercise too much control can just lead to frustration, in addition to frustrating the people around you.  Since you never know what the future will bring, it’s futile to try to control events.  Instead of attempting to control the outcome of events, learn to relax and enjoy the journey.  Letting go of the need to control will give you more freedom to live in the moment.  By planning less, you’ll be more open to unforeseen opportunities that come your way.  This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t still have goals, but that your focus shifts from the ends to the means.

Remember that simplicity is a process, not a destination.

For most of us, there is no escaping the inherent complexity of our lives.  However, by deciding to simplify your life and spend more time seeking true happiness, you’ve started on a road that can lead to profound changes in your life.

There is no final destination at the end of this road.

Because life is forever changing and evolving, and you are evolving along with it, you will never reach a point of perfect simplicity and endless happiness.  But each moment you spend on the path to simplicity does have the potential to bring more serenity and happiness into your life.

“If you want happiness for an hour – take a nap. If you want happiness for a day – go fishing. If you want happiness for a month – get married. If you want happiness for a year – inherit a fortune. If you want happiness for a lifetime – help someone else.” – Chinese Proverb

This is a guest post written by Dayne from TheHappySelf.com, a fantastic blog about personal transformation and simple self-development. Be sure to check out his blog, or follow him on Twitter. Lastly, don’t forget to download your free ebook Living Naked here.

Photo by: EJP Photo

A part of you has grown in me.  And so you see, it’s you and me together forever and never apart.  Maybe in distance, but never in heart.

The Running Soundtrack

For the last several days I’ve had the melody to a song I’ve only heard once or twice repeating over and over in the back of my mind.  I didn’t even know the lyrics, but my mind kept spinning the tune anyways.  This morning when I finally got around to looking up the lyrics, I smiled from ear to ear.  Because the song is perfectly suited to be the soundtrack to the past few wild weeks of my life.

And I think that’s one of the most extraordinary functions of the human brain – it thinks for us even when we’re not consciously thinking.  How is this possible?  Well, the scientific answer – which I’m always curious about – is that our brain is a sophisticated parallel processing system capable of intuitively assessing and reacting to data that our conscious mind is never even aware of.  Tuning into and playing the running soundtrack of our lives is only a small example of our unconscious mind’s true potential.

But despite my love for science, I don’t always want or need a scientific explanation for every little thing that happens in life.  When just the right thing happens at just the right moment, I simply want to believe that it was meant to be.  And even when complications arise, I want to believe that these complications are necessary evils – necessary because they force us to learn, adapt and overcome.  Which is, I think, a big part of why we’re here in the first place.

Distracted

This afternoon I walked to a local park with my laptop to get some work done in the fresh air.  But after a short time, I was distracted by a young boy entertaining himself with nothing more than a wooden stick and his imagination.  And it brought me back to a simpler time.  You know… that time during our youth when we weren’t scared to dream without reason.  Just watching him was a soothing experience – a reminder that we, as adults, occasionally need to overcome the precincts of maturity and just let our imaginations run free.  It was a healthy distraction to say the least.

Anyway, once I became conscious of the fact that I was getting no work done, I walked back home and sat down at my computer desk.  And I suddenly realized the melody that had been spinning in my head like a broken record had finally ceased.  Satisfied by this newfound mental silence, I got to work.  But before long, the absent melody was replaced by an overbearing, mouth watering craving for chocolate cake.  And the weird thing is, I usually don’t eat sweets.

After a few moments of contemplation, I decided that going to the grocery store to get a chocolate cake was a silly idea.  “You can eat chocolate cake later,” I thought to myself.  “But right now, you need to finish your work.”  So I did just that… I got back to work.

Connected

And I had almost completely forgotten about the chocolate cake until Angel came home an hour later with a to-go box from a restaurant.  She placed the to-go box on my desk and said, “Hey sweetie, my coworkers and I went out to lunch this afternoon and my eyes were bigger than my stomach.  So I figured I’d bring the leftovers home for you to snack on.”  I opened the lid of the to-go box to find a quarter of a turkey panini and a small slice of chocolate cake.

I laughed out loud.  Certainly, there are plenty of valid explanations for this kind of synchronicity.  The most basic being that when we are tuned into our feelings (a craving for example) and truly aware of our environment (actually opening the to-go box), these synchronous coincidences will seem to occur more often.  But as I stated earlier, even though I am fascinated by the science, I sometimes prefer to live in a more magical, philosophical world.

So my explanation, which needs no substantiation from any source other than my own life experience, is that when people are connected, I mean truly connected both emotionally and intellectually, the melody to a common soundtrack is always playing in the back of our minds.  And when we choose to listen to the music, and dance, we dance together even when we are apart.

Photo by: Atilla1000

This guest post was written by Nea, author of Self Improvement Saga.

A common misconception I’ve heard repeated over and over is that positive thinking depends on one’s ability to “fool the mind” into believing something is better than it actually is.  For those who hold this belief, positive thinking may seem like a bunch of hogwash.  After all, who wants to waste time with self-induced brainwashing?

If positive thinking was nothing more than a ploy to pull the wool over your own eyes, I wouldn’t bother.  But it is so much more.  So I want to share some facts about the value of deliberately guiding your thoughts and the best way to do so successfully.

What positive thinking is all about

Positive thinking means choosing thoughts that feel good rather than allowing outside elements to control the caliber of our thoughts.

It’s about choosing to look at life experiences from a pleasant perspective and harnessing our power to seize the best in any circumstance.

There are always flowers for those who want to see them.
- Henri Matisse

What positive thinking is not

Brainwashing is defined as “a forcible indoctrination to induce someone to give up basic political, social, or religious beliefs and attitudes and to accept contrasting regimented ideas.”

Unlike brainwashing, having a positive outlook should never make you feel like you’re forcing yourself to believe lies or to give up ideas that are important to you.  The purpose of positive thinking is not to distract you from the truth, but to refocus your attention on beautiful truths that you may often take for granted.

How to effectively apply positive thinking

Our lives are filled with a variety of experiences, circumstances, people and things.   Some trigger pleasing thoughts and feelings within us while others set off a downward spiral of negativity.

You may be wondering how positive thinking can be implemented when faced with something that is undeniably negative.  There are two basic options:  focus elsewhere or focus differently.

1.  Focus elsewhere when you’re able
Focusing elsewhere means you take your attention from the troubling subject to something that feels better.  There are times when this is clearly the best choice.  Here’s an example:

You’re with a group of people who are discussing political hot topics.  The discussion gets extremely heated as everyone defends their views on abortion, health care, prayer in schools, gay marriage, immigration and even President Obama’s Nobel Peace Prize win.

The tension gets high and the words get ugly.  You feel yourself becoming extremely angry and frustrated with some of the outrageous comments, personal jabs, senseless views and put downs.

In such a situation, you may simply decide not to be a part of the conversation.  Sure, others may take offense or respond negatively if you walk away.  So what!  What’s more important?  Doing what others think you should or doing what you know is best for you?

Bottom line:  If you can’t change the subject of discussion, just leave the room and find something else to do.  Your attention to political differences is unlikely to change someone else’s mind.  So, why bother with something unnecessarily distressing when you can put your focus and energy elsewhere?

2.  Focus differently when you can’t escape the situation
Although it’s not always possible to avoid an unpleasant experience, we can decide to bring our conscious awareness to a different aspect of it.  In other words, we can focus differently.

You don’t have to focus on the clouds just because it’s a rainy day.  You can focus on what the weather was like yesterday or on the day of your wedding or at some other time when you felt it was ideal.  You can even focus on the benefits of the rain and all the purposes it serves.  The flowers, grass and trees are surely pleased to have their thirst quenched.

If you lose your hearing, you can waste your life away feeling sad about the sounds that you’re missing out on.  Or you can celebrate the heightened state of your other senses.  You can appreciate and follow in the footsteps of Ludwig Beethoven, Marlee Matlin, Thomas Edison, Helen Keller and other famous hearing impaired people who achieved great success because they didn’t let their disabilities foil their outlook on the possibilities that lay before them.  Neither positive nor negative thoughts will spontaneously restore your hearing, but one type of thought leads to healthy living, while the other encourages endless misery.

A real world example of positive thinking

Positive thinking is most effective when you choose thoughts that your mind easily accepts as reasonable.  Hearing loss is a bit extreme, so how about a more practical example for using positive thinking in everyday life?

Let’s say your car breaks down.  It is unlikely that any thought will change the fact that the car isn’t working.  So while you could try to imagine that it’s running perfectly, it isn’t a very productive practice unless you have magical genie powers.

So as you put the key in the ignition and notice that the car won’t start, you can be angry, anxious and sad as you focus on how terrible it is that your car is broken.  You can gripe about the money it will cost, the time it will take, the inconvenience it will cause.  You can go on and on like this until you’ve taken on enough stress to raise your blood pressure to stroke level.  None of these thoughts will change the situation, but they will ensure that you feel horrible.

On the other hand, you could choose to think of the sexy (or skilled or nice) mechanic who will get you back on the road.  You can think of how reliable the car has been up to this point, the games you can play on your cell phone as you wait for a tow truck, or the funny hat that the lady is wearing in the car next to you.  None of this changes the fact that the car is not working, but at least you’re choosing to think in a way that is likely to attract an unexpected opportunity rather than a massive coronary.

Conclusion

You see, positive thinking is not about fooling yourself.  It’s about changing your outlook to a different side of reality.  As an avid believer in the Law of Attraction, I apply positive thinking to almost everything.  Notice I said almost, because I have my down-in-the-dumps moments like everyone else.

So, what about you? When you’re faced with something upsetting, do you find comfort in guiding your thoughts to a more positive outlook?  If not, why not?

Nea is the author of the Self Improvement Saga, a blog where she shares her passion for writing and personal development.  Her goal is to help others manifest improvements in both their daily lives and relationships.  If you enjoyed this post then consider subscribing to her RSS feed.

Photo by: Tourist on Earth

This morning I was writing at my favorite coffee shop when a cute Latin woman with big, bright eyes and rosy cheeks sat down at the table across from me.  She pulled a sketch book out of her backpack and began looking around the room.  Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her look in my direction, study my posture, smile, and begin sketching.

We sat there next to each other for nearly three hours while she sketched and I wrote.  And as I shifted back and forth, engrossed in thought, I felt a bit self-conscious.  Because I could feel her watching me as she practiced her art.

But I wasn’t too worried because I hadn’t planned on talking to her.  After all, she seemed completely satisfied sketching in silence, and smiling at her sketches and at all of the other people who surrounded us.  I did, however, glance up a few times just to see her smile.  Because her smile expressed a kind of passion I seldom see.

All of the World’s Beauty

A few moments later another customer came into the coffee shop and let a gust of wind in the front door.  The wind blew a completed sketch right off of the Latin woman’s table and onto the floor in front of me.  The sketch was rather amazing.  It perfectly depicted a man who looked a lot like me typing on a laptop computer.

I looked up at the Latin woman and smiled.  “Who’s that sharp-looking guy?”

She giggled and rolled her eyes.  “I don’t know,” she replied.  “He’s just a fairy tale character.”  She then handed me a few of the other sketches she’d been working on.  One of them was of the barista behind the cash register and the others were of other customers in the coffee shop.

“Wow!” I exclaimed.

She sighed, smiled, and said, “Sometimes I wish that I could capture all of the world’s beauty in my sketches, but I’ve come to realize that it’s simply impossible. So capturing still-frames of beautiful moments is what I settle for.”

I told her that all of the world’s beauty actually is captured in every sketch that perceives a moment just as beautiful.  And that her sketches are truly beautiful, just like her smile… because they reveal a gift and a passion to see beauty in common places – a beauty most of us overlook.

Time Ceases

She giggled again and said, “My mother once told me that beauty occurs when time ceases to exist.  And if she’s right, then perhaps my sketches are beautiful.  Because, for me, time ceases when I try to bridge my perceptions with the moments unfolding around me.”

I chuckled aloud and then turned my laptop around so that she could read the words I had written just moments before: “Time ceases to exist when she engages in this moment, because she wants nothing more than the beauty this moment has to offer.”

“Who is she?” she asked.

“She’s just a fairy tale character others will read about… and metaphor for hope to me,” I replied with a wink.

She winked back, as if to prove that she wasn’t just a metaphor.  And before I could even smile, I suddenly sneezed.  She laughed and told me that for just a moment in mid-sneeze I looked like Tarzan, and asked if I could hold that pose so she could sketch me looking like Tarzan.

I told her that I didn’t mind holding a mid-sneeze pose for a few minutes.  Because as she sketched, I got a chance to see the look in her eyes.  You know the look I’m talking about… it’s the look when beauty is perceived, time ceases to exist, and fairy tale characters come to life.

My buddy Chad, a 9th grade science teacher, called me at 7AM this morning in a bit of a panic.  “Marc,” he said. “I promised my students I’d have a guest speaker here today, but the speaker just canceled on me at the last minute.  I know you love motivating others, so is there any way you could come in this morning and be our substitute speaker?”

“What’s the topic?” I asked.

“How to save the world,” he replied with a chuckle.  “I’m kidding.  The speaker I had scheduled was from the city waste management counsel.  She was supposed to speak to the kids about the importance of recycling and conserving the environment and so forth.”

“I don’t know,” I replied.  “I don’t really have any…”

“Come on, Marc,” he insisted.  “Please.  Pretty please!  I know it would mean so much to the kids if you came in today.  And I’ve been meaning to ask you to be a guest speaker for awhile now.”

I thought about it for a second.  “Well… okay.  What time do you need me to come in?”

“Yes!  Thank you!  If you could be here at 9AM that would be awesome!”

“Uh, yeah… I’ll see you then,” I replied with a bit of uncertainty in my voice.

Crashing and Burning

I arrived promptly at 9AM.  After a short introduction by Chad, I walked up to the front of the classroom.  I didn’t have any cool props or cue cards.  In fact, I barely had enough time to think about what I was going to say.  But as 42 sets of inquiring eyes stared at me, I knew I only had one shot, just one shot to convince them that they could make a difference in this crazy world.  So I took a deep breath and said:

“What if I told you that you and your immediate family were personally contributing to catastrophic environmental issues around the world?  And what if I told you that it gets even worse?  What if I also told you that you were directly contributing to human starvation, water and energy shortages, widespread health problems, and so much more?”

The kids remained quiet but seemed irritated.  “It’s true,” I continued.  “You might not realize you’re doing these things, but you are…”  And with every word that left my lips, the kids seemed less and less interested in what I had to say.

I wasn’t lying to them.  Because I know for a fact that only a small fraction of American families live sustainable lifestyles.  But I wasn’t winning any friends or influencing a single kid with my approach.  I was actually doing the exact opposite – I was crashing and burning in a big way.

A Second Chance

And just when I started to seriously choke over my words, the fire alarm went off.  It was just a fire drill, but I was so relived because it gave me a chance to regroup and effectively organize my thoughts.  And as we walked back into the classroom, I knew I had less than thirty seconds to recapture the attention of my audience.  So I took another deep breath and said:

“How many of you have ever donated canned goods to the needy?  Wow, almost all of you!  That’s great!  Now, how many of you recycle on a regular basis?”  Everyone in the class raised a hand.  I smiled.  “Oh, this is inspiring!  And how many of you have ever held the door open for someone else behind you?”  Again, almost every kid raised a hand.

“Well, I’m really impressed,” I stated in a sincere tone.  “I’m so sorry.  Please accept my apology.  I was totally wrong about you all.  It appears that we have a whole classroom filled with go-getters who are already practiced in bettering our world.  You should be proud of yourselves.”

Smiles broke out across the classroom.

“Now let’s take a moment and think about something together,” I continued.  What if – without making much more of an effort than we’re making right now – we could join collectively as one and feed every starving person in the world, restore the environment, inspire positive change in the lives of others, and have fun in the process?  Would you do it?  Would you want to learn how?”

“Yeah!”  the kids replied collectively.

Well that too is inspiring!” I shouted.  “Because if we could convince enough people to think the way you do, together we could do all of these things and so much more… together we could save the world.”

Again, big smiles broke out across the classroom.

Conclusion

There are two methods for inspiring positive change in our youth.  The first is to ask them to look in the mirror and see the absolute worst of themselves, and hope that they have enough self-confidence to make a change.  The second is to ask them to look in the mirror and see the absolute best of themselves, which gives them the self-confidence needed to make a change.

Photo by: notsogoodphotography

This guest post was written by Diggy, author of Upgrade Reality.

No two people are identical, not even identical twins.  Everyone is a one-of-a-kind.  And do you know what a one-of-a-kind is worth?  Priceless!  Yes, this means YOU are priceless.

From the day we are born and open our eyes, we start to grow into the person we will ultimately become as a result of the environment we are exposed to and the experiences we endure.  And although our parents and mentors have a large impact on our upbringing, we rarely walk the exact path they had in mind for us.

There is only one success:  To be able to spend your life in your own way.
- Christopher Morely

Don’t Be Someone Else’s Puppet

Contrary to the way many people behave, we do not have to do what other people tell us to do all of the time.  We are constantly under siege from family, friends, strangers and the media to act, behave and live in certain ways.  But despite all of these external influences, we have the ultimate choice to make our own decisions.

Be True To Yourself

“Be true to yourself or you aren’t true to anyone.”

This is a powerful quote my mother told me a long time ago.  And whenever I make a decision I try to stick to it.  It is one thing to lie to other people, but it is much worse to lie to yourself.  Many people get into the habit of ignoring their true desires and instead they just do what they believe is expected of them by others.  I promise you, this path will only lead to failure on all fronts.

Find and Follow Your Own Values

If you want to please somebody, be honest.  Do what they ask of you only when their values and expectations align with yours, and not because you merely want to impress them.   Do not study to be a lawyer because your parents have been telling you to since you were ten years old.  Instead, become a pilot, or an engineer, or whatever, because it’s your passion.  In other words, figure out what makes you tick and pursue it!

Leave the Comfort of Your Nest

Never forget the definition of insanity:  Doing the same thing every day of every month of every year, and expecting different results.  If you want to truly live, and not merely exist, you have to leave the comfort of your nest.  You have to forge your own path through the uncharted waters around you - for it is these uncharted waters that will eventually lead you to the shores of your goals.

Make Choices and Take Risks

The best way to forge your own path and live a life of fulfillment is to listen to your heart and overcome your natural fears.  You’ll never get to the place you want to be if you’re afraid to make the necessary choices to get there.

Do not be afraid of what someone will think of you or say to you if you express your passion and tell them what you really want to do with your life.  Do not be afraid to make a choice that seems a little risky – everything in life, even getting out of bed in the morning, involves risk.  If you intend to live, you have to accept risks.

Conclusion

It’s your life to live and your life to enjoy, no one else’s.  Nobody on this planet walks the exact same path as you, and this is precisely what makes life so remarkable and fun.  Although others may be able to show you parts of the path, you must take the initiative to walk it on your own.  Because as Morpheus said in The Matrix, “Neo, sooner or later you’re going to realize, just as I did, that there’s a difference between knowing the path and walking the path.”

So stay true to yourself, follow your instincts, and listen to your heart every step of the way.

Diggy is the author of UpgradeReality.com, a blog that explores the beauty and simplicity of self-improvement.  If you enjoyed this post then consider subscribing to his RSS feed.

Photo by: Guilherme Cecílio