January 28th, 2015 - by: Marc Chernoff
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
Do you ever feel like you’re not good enough?
I bet you do! I know the feeling. We all doubt ourselves sometimes – it’s human nature. And the really crazy thing is, we think everyone else is doing better than us. But they aren’t.
Every day we’re comparing apples with oranges – comparing our insides with other people’s outsides. That colleague of yours who’s giving a really smooth presentation to the boss, while you wait nervously in your chair until it’s your turn? She very well might be panicking inside. You just can’t tell.
In fact, if she’s truly great, she likely is panicking inside. Research suggests that the so-called “impostor syndrome” may get more intense as people get better at what they do: the more accomplished you become, the more likely you are to rub shoulders with ever more talented and skilled people, leaving you feeling even more inadequate by comparison. So, in a backwards way, if you’re concerned that you don’t measure up, that could very well be a good sign that you actually do measure up just fine.
The late and great Maya Angelou, a renowned novelist and poet, once said, “I have written 11 books, but each time, I think ‘Uh-oh. They’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody and they’re going to find me out.” Angelou was an extraordinary talent, but she was also extraordinary in being willing to admit that she wasn’t always confident about that.
And in today’s always-connected world it’s even harder to keep things in perspective. Our lives are literally unfolding on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Snapchat. We use these social technologies, not surprisingly, to showcase the best parts of our lives: the beautiful weddings and enviable honeymoons, the finished projects, and the best smiles. But we forget that we’re only seeing everyone else’s highlight reel too – not the sleepless nights, the failed attempts, the moments of grief and self-doubt.
So with all of this in mind, if you’re not feeling “good enough” right now, it’s time to adjust your thinking. Let’s go over five time-tested ways to do just that:
1. Acknowledge that all emotions come from within.
It’s not outside forces that make us feel something, it’s what we tell ourselves about what’s happening that creates our feelings. People’s judgments, life’s unplanned events, and your unchecked to-do lists are not Keep reading →