Marc and Angel Hack Life

I’m an advocate of productivity and simplicity, and I assume most readers of this blog are as well.  So today I figured I’d hit two birds with one stone and give you the best productivity advice possible in five words or less.  After all, simple, straightforward advice is often the best advice.

1. Define realistic goals.
2. Start now.
3. Plan, but not too much.
4. Do important things first.
5. One thing at a time.
6. Break complex goals into tasks.
7. Disconnect yourself from distractions.
8. Love what you do.
9. Learn from your failures.
10. Celebrate your successes.
11. Be early.
12. Handle small tasks immediately.
13. Batch process similar tasks.
14. Manage your time.
15. Use a planner.
16. Take notes.
17. Focus more on less.
18. Find and follow efficient patterns.
19. Learn productive shortcuts.
20. Tomorrow is today’s result.
21. Organize your space.
22. Clear clutter.
23. Be productive while you wait.
24. Automate tasks and reminders.
25. Read the manual.
26. Learn from others.
27. Teach others to help you.
28. Delegate.
29. Allocate and maximize your resources.
30. Use the right tools.
31. Work on goals every day.
32. Keep it fun.
33. Establish and maintain strong relationships.
34. Spend time with your family.
35. Take care of your health.
36. Get enough sleep.
37. Delete the unnecessary.
38. Trust your gut instincts.
39. Face your fears.
40. Solve problems.
41. Make your own decisions.
42. Take your own advice.
43. Try something new.
44. Follow your values.
45. Learn to say, “No.”
46. Spend minutes to save hours.
47. Validate your assumptions.
48. Follow and speak the truth.
49. Never cheat.
50. Never give up on yourself.
51. Small steps add up fast.
52. Be meaningful.
53. Ask questions.
54. Identify and strengthen your weaknesses.
55. Over-deliver on your promises.
56. Adapt to change.
57. Pay it forward.
58. Stay flexible.
59. Be open to new ideas.
60. Challenge yourself.
61. Be positive.
62. Disregard negative people.
63. Live below your means.
64. Listen more, speak less.
65. Think.
66. Continuously educate yourself.
67. Lead by example.
68. Always do your best.
69. Don’t settle.
70. Communicate clearly.
71. Treat everyone with respect.
72. Act when opportunities arise.
73. Quality over quantity.
74. Do the hard stuff first.
75. Set deadlines.
76. Reflect on your progress.
77. Keep track of important milestones.
78. Follow the 80-20 rule.
79. Urgent is not always important.
80. Done is better than perfect.
81. Learn skills few people know.
82. Provide tangible value.
83. Time trumps money.
84. Be yourself.
85. Find people with similar goals.
86. Reuse and recycle what works.
87. Patience is a virtue.
88. Ask yourself: “Why do this?”
89. Don’t worry about the uncontrollable.
90. Your thoughts create your reality.
91. Complaining just wastes time.
92. Excel at what you do.
93. Slow and steady.
94. Be here now.
95. Perform tasks with multiple positives.
96. View things from different angles.
97. Use your imagination.
98. Visualize your success.
99. Smile.
100. Keep it simple.
101. Finish what you start.

Please expand on this list by adding your own advice in five words or less in the comments section below.

Also, I highly recommend these best selling productivity books:

• Eat That Frog!: 21 Great Ways to Stop Procrastinating and Get More Done in Less Time
• Focal Point: A Proven System to Simplify Your Life, Double Your Productivity, and Achieve All Your Goals
• Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity

Photo by: Veo

This guest post was written by Karl Staib, author of Work Happy Now!

Last week I was talking on the phone with my brother, and even though we live 2,000 miles away from each other, he could still feel my sour attitude.  He asked me if everything was okay.  I was a bit surprised because I thought I was covering up my mood quite well.

I brushed off his question and told him I was fine.  He wasn’t buying it and the rest of our phone conversation struggled along.

People can feel the real message you are sending, whether you are talking to them on the phone, in person, or online.

Don’t Just Reach Out to the Fools

I’m convinced most people can smell fear and bull crap.  If you try to cover it up, they may be fooled at first, but eventually they catch on.

My subconscious usually picks up on whether or not people are sincere.  If someone is being insincere, I can feel this and I begin looking for validation.  Even if it’s just a split second feeling, I will be on the hunt to make sure I’m right.  My attention is distracted and I have trouble taking the person seriously.  That’s why as communicators (writing, speaking or body language), we have to believe that our audience is smart, savvy and ready to find faults in our message.  This also goes for an audience of just one.  It’s a problem that’s easily solved as long as you remain true to yourself.

If you believe in your message then other people will trust you.  This isn’t always easy, so I’ve devised three questions that I ask myself before I talk or write anything to anyone.

Rules for Communication:

1. Am I telling a story?  (People connect to a story, not just facts.)
2. Do I really believe this to be true?  (When communicating, we need to believe in everything we say.)
3. Is this valuable?  (Will the other person find humor or knowledge in the message?)

When I first started on Twitter, I was prone to just retweeting (sending out someone else’s tweet) anything that seemed cool.  There were times when I did not even take the time to check out the source.  So wrong on many levels. One time I retweeted a link then clicked on it and it took me to a jacked-up site that gave no value at all.  It actually had animated flying pigs on it.  And they weren’t even artistic.  Just a bunch of ugly pink pigs.

The bottom line is you have to concentrate on sending out the right message to other people, otherwise you won’t be creating a likable personal brand that separates you from the wannabes.  In this day and age of social media we all need to manage our personal brands.  Future employers will be Googling your name to see if you’re communicating certain messages online that don’t mesh well with their corporate culture.

You may not be trying to be an Internet superstar, but surely you’re trying to be the best communicator you can be.  Because if you can’t get your ideas across clearly and with conviction, no one will ever listen to you.

Putting It All Together

We live in the greatest era for communication – a time when we can create our own brand and package it in a way that makes us happy.  Twenty years ago we were stuck with the channels of communication that big business gave us.  Of course we could put out a printed newsletter or ‘zine, but it was costly and its reach was limited.  Blogging, Twitter, Facebook and other social media sites make it so much easier to spread our message and our brand.

You now have the ability to create your own happiness through communication of your expertise.

I write about work happiness and right now there are more people working happy than ever before because they are able to express their true selves while they work.  People like Brian Clark, Sonia Simone, and Leo Babauta (Check out Leo’s story – it’s fascinating) have communicated from their heart and now they have a dedicated following.  They did this by believing so strongly in their message that nothing could hold them back from success.

The key is knowing who you are and figuring out how to maximize your thoughts through communication.

How do you optimize your ability to communicate well?

It’s not easy, but worth your time to practice it.

Always remember the three words - Story, Heart, and Value.

Story

Make sure you tell a story that helps people connect to a specific concept.  Even the people who gossip about others know this because usually you are already intrigued by the person they are talking about.  That’s why it’s hard not to listen.  By sharing something about a person whom you already know, you can become more connected.

Gossiping is wrong if it’s done to tear someone down, but gossip can also be positive. (i.e. a mother sharing a story about her daughter’s relationship with a friend or a manager sharing a story with her employee about another co-worker’s accomplishment in order to motivate her.) This type of communication can help us get through a tough time or find a solution to a problem.

Heart

Before you say something, always check in with yourself for a half second to see if it’s really what you believe.  Do this again and again and again.  The time you take to develop this awareness, the more comfortable you will be with communicating to individuals and crowds.

You probably think you do this, but do you really listen?  The difference between a writer who makes it and a writer who is always trying rests in their passion for the truth.  You can’t believe what you want to believe because it’s easier.  You have to communicate straight from your heart… and that takes guts.

Value

Does this information help the person in some way?  When telling a story, try to think of it as an opportunity to teach.  I’m not talking about ‘after school special’ lameness.  I’m talking about opening a person’s eyes to new perspectives or motivating them to try something new.

When you communicate with the people in your life, you are setting the tone for future interaction.  If you create positive feelings then they will want more stories from you and more time with you.  If all you do is regurgitate other peoples thoughts and ideas, but don’t check in with your soul first, eventually the people around you will notice and stop caring.

Conclusion

You have to choose communication that will build stronger, healthier relationships.

How are you improving your ability to connect to your true self so you can communicate your message effectively?  Are you communicating from the deep depths of your heart?  If so, let us know in the comment section.

Karl Staib writes about unlocking and kicking open the door to working happy on his blog: Work Happy Now!  If you enjoyed this article, you may like to subscribe to his feed, follow him on Twitter or read one of his most popular articles, Creating A Project Ritual to Encourage Happiness.

Photo by: Scott Beale

Once upon a time, a young man and woman met, gazed into each other’s eyes, kissed, and knew – for certain – that they were supposed to be together forever.  In the subsequent days, weeks, and months everything fell into place just as they had anticipated.  He was perfect in her eyes, and she was perfect in his.

Oh, it’s the majestic certainty of young love!  When two souls who barely know each other believe they know everything that they must know to live happily ever after in their own blissful bubble.  They think this because it’s what their emotional hearts and minds tell them is true.

But you know what happens next.  It’s what always happens next in phony fairy tales like this.  For one reason or another, logic trumps emotion, their bubble bursts, and the two lovers tumble back down to Earth, bruising themselves along the way and realizing that their perfect partner isn’t so perfect after all.

Maybe he learns that she doesn’t like rock music – and rock music is extremely important to him.  Maybe she learns that he never makes the bed – and making the bed is extremely important to her.  Regardless of the specifics, our lovers are finally beginning to see each other for who they really are – imperfect human beings.  This is the turning point at which ‘falling in love’ ends and the test of ‘true love’ begins.

Either their mindset adjusts and they accept reality – that true love isn’t so much about perfection as it is about growth and patience – or they move on to the next short-term fairy tale romance in hopes of finding that one perfect soul mate who does everything just right.

Why am I telling you this story?

Because the fluctuating feelings that steer our romantic relationships are quite similar to those that steer our motivation to make a meaningful impact on the world around us.  A little passion is all that’s required to start, but only sustained perseverance makes it worthwhile.

Sure, short powerful bursts of effort and seemingly giant leaps in a single bound appear to be remarkable.  But they fade as fast as they arrive, and all we’re left with in the end is an unfulfilled void.

An enduring dedication – fulfilling promises by marching forward with one foot in front of the other, even when the going gets tough – is what true love is all about.  And it’s this kind of love, and only this kind of love, that can make the world a better place.

Photo by: Brandon Christopher Warren

A question that makes you think is worth asking…

At the cusp of a new day, week, month, or year, most of us take a little time to reflect on our lives by looking back over the past and ahead into the future.  We ponder the successes, failures and standout events that are slowly scripting our life’s story.  This process of self reflection helps us maintain a conscious awareness of where we’ve been and where we intend to go.  It is pertinent to the organization and preservation of our dreams, goals and desires.

If you would like to maximize the benefits of self reflection, our new sister site, Thought Questions, is for you.  A new illustrated thought question is posted daily.  We recommend that you read and reread these questions regularly when you have some quiet time to think.  After all, reflection is the key to progression.

Remember, these questions have no right or wrong answers.  Because asking the right questions is the answer.

Here’s a sample of 25 recent thought questions posted on the site:

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

Keep reading →

This guest post was written by Nicole, author of My Years Without Sugar.

Your health is your life.  Make it a priority.

There are a zillion nutrition tips floating around out there.  Here are a few simple ones that have worked well for me over the years.

1. Limit junk food or don’t eat it at all. – Whatever junk food you have in your kitchen, throw it out and replace it with healthy foods and snacks.  Look into other ways to comfort yourself and think of food as nutrition, not entertainment or emotional fodder.
2. Go on a healthy food shopping spree. – Don’t look at prices.  Buy items that are healthy and appealing.  Fill your cupboards, pantry and fridge with healthy foods so you will not feel like your kitchen is empty.
3. Limit eating out. – Most restaurant food has high amounts of sodium, sugar and fat.  There are few exceptions.  Spend more time with family or friends cooking together, or enjoy cooking for yourself.
4. Visit a farmer’s market. – Because farmers markets make buying healthy food fun and interesting.  Most of the produce will be freshly picked, and taste heavenly compared to the refrigerated and thawed produce we get at grocery stores.  Many farmer’s markets have healthy homemade jams, local honey, hot sauce, or pickled this and that.
5. Cut out the white stuff. – Sugar has zero nutrition.  Cut out high fructose corn syrup and artificial sweeteners, too.  Sugar is linked to the growing obesity epidemic in the US and the rising rates of diabetes.  It is also linked to heart disease, which remains the number one killer of people in the US.  Use natural sweeteners in baking like raw honey, date sugar or molasses, which retains high amounts of nutrients.
6. Exercise.  – No level of nutrition can make up the difference for lack of exercise.  Walking counts, as does taking the stairs instead of the elevator.  Dr. Walter Willett of Harvard’s School of Public Health places exercise at the foundational base of his food pyramid.
7. Eat at a table. – According to Michael Pollan’s latest book, Food Rules: An Eater’s Manual, “No, a desk is not a table.  If we eat while we’re working, or while watching TV or driving, we eat mindlessly, and as a result eat a lot more than we would if we were eating at a table, paying attention to what we’re doing.  When eating somewhere other than a table, stick to fruits and vegetables.”
8. Eat smaller portions by buying smaller plates. – I gave my giant-sized dinner plates to the Salvation Army and bought smaller square plates.  And I eat less because of it.  According to Brian Wansink, author of Mindless Eating: Why We Eat More Than We Think, in a study focused on size illusions, “People with a large bowl and a three-ounce scoop dished out 57 percent more ice cream than those given a smaller bowl and smaller scoop.”
9. Cut out ‘beverages’ and drink water. – Water is free, whereas most beverages come with a price – a health price and a financial price.  One popular 12-ounce soda boasts a whopping 150 calories, and it offers no nutrition.  As a treat, drink tea instead of soda.

Remember, it only takes 21 days of doing something to make it a habit.  So pick one of the tips above and start making it a healthy habit today.

Follow Nicole on her blog, My Years Without Sugar, where she shares tips on escaping the sugar addiction.

Photo by: Craig

The Same Experience

Last night, my buddy Anthony and I went out to a local bar for some drinks. Once inside, Anthony immediately saw a girl he was interested in. “Watch this,” he said.

He sat down at the bar next to her, smiled, and quickly introduced himself.  But before he could say another word, she asked, “What happened to your eye?”

“Oh, this,” Anthony said as he pointed to his black eye.  “It’s just a small battle wound from a triumphant, athletic victory.”

“Oh,” she replied. “In what sports game?”

“It’s not a game, it’s a battle,” he said with a smirk on his face. “I put my life on the line out there.”

“Oh,” she replied again.  And although Anthony’s extravagant self-proclamations of being a backyard football champ have worked before, they didn’t work at all on this particular girl.  So she turned toward me. “And what do you do for fun?” she asked.

“The same thing, I guess,” I said.

“You battle?”

“Well, I think of football more as a philosophical engagement.  I mean… when I’m competing against others, I try to deduce a series of logical next steps and then take action based on my calculations of weight, technique, past experience, and my gut instincts about how my opponents are engaging in the game.”

She laughed. “With all that extra time spent thinking, you must get clobbered out there.”

“Actually, he’s one of the most athletic players I know,” Anthony interjected, halfheartedly.

“So, how can one of you battle while the other philosophizes?” she asked. “Those are two completely different things.”

“Actually, they’re not,” I said. “Just different interpretations of the same experience.”

“Yeah… Marc has had one too many adult beverages,” Anthony quickly intervened. “Sorry about that.”

Then he directed me away from the girl and toward the other end of the bar. “I know you’re married, but I’m trying to make progress with the ladies tonight.  Don’t ever spew that philosophy crap again,” he said. “All it does is scare them away.”

I looked back at the girl from the opposite end of the bar.  We made eye contact and she smiled and winked.

All of Our Lives

In our daily lives, we share common experiences with friends, coworkers, lovers, and complete strangers we cross on the street.  But these experiences are rarely as similar as we expect them to be.

A man and a woman may share a moment.  To her, it’s a gesture of romantic interest, but to him it’s just a friendly, intelligent conversation.  A mother may discipline her teenage son.  To the mother, it’s good parenting, but to her son, it’s oppression.  Two Web 2.0 startup founders may work tirelessly to design a new social networking platform.  To one, the project is about helping people communicate more effectively. To the other, it’s about breaking new technological ground.

We all have different needs, different perspectives, and thus different means for understanding and describing our experiences.  This is why we rarely have the same exact interpretation of a shared experience.

These differences are often cited as the reason relationships don’t work. “We just weren’t meant to be together,” a woman might say.  “My mom doesn’t understand,” a teenager might say.  “Our vision doesn’t seem to be compatible,” one startup founder might say about the other.

But that’s just an easy out. And it’s oftentimes dead wrong.  Such differences can be precisely the reason relationships do work.

If that woman wasn’t initially disappointed by that man, they probably wouldn’t be business partners and good friends today.  If that teenager wasn’t disciplined and nurtured by his mother, he may have decided to get into the car with his drunken friends the night they wrapped it around a telephone pole.  If one startup founder didn’t focus on technology and the other didn’t focus on people, their vision and their work would be far more limited.

It’s important that we see things differently.  Because when our different visions eventually mesh together…

Positive change transpires in all of our lives.

Photo by: Carlo Nicora

Tonight, over a couple of cocktails, one of my good friends spilled her guts to me about all of her failed attempts to find the perfect lover.  Although her story was about her unique personal experiences, I couldn’t help but feel like I had heard the same story told by others in completely different circumstances a hundred times before.

It’s a story about the endless quest for perfection.  And I think it carries a valuable life lesson, so I’d like to retell it to you in my own words.

The Perfect Woman

Once upon a time, an intelligent, attractive, self-sufficient woman in her late twenties decided that she wanted to settle down and find a husband.  So she journeyed out into the world to search for the perfect man.

She met him in New York City at a bar in fancy hotel lobby.  He was handsome and well spoken.  In fact, she had a hard time keeping her eyes off of him.  He intrigued her.  It was the curves of his cheek bones, the confidence in his voice, and the comfort of his warm, steady hands.  But after only a short time, she broke things off.  “We just didn’t share the same religious views,” she said.  So she continued on her journey.

She met him again in Austin a few months later.  This time, he was an entrepreneur who owned a small, successful record label that assisted local musicians with booking gigs and promoting their music.  And she learned, during an unforgettable night, that not only did they share the same religious views, he could also make her laugh for hours on end.  “But I just wasn’t emotionally attracted to him,” she said.  So she continued on her journey.

She met him again in Miami at a beachside café.  He was a sports medicine doctor for the Miami Dolphins, but he easily could have been an underwear model for Calvin Klein.  For a little while, she was certain that he was the one.  And all of her friends loved him.  “He’s the perfect catch,” they told her.  “But we didn’t hang in the same social circle, and his high profile job consumed too much of his time,” she said.  So she cut things off and continued on her journey.

Finally, at a corporate business conference in San Diego, she met the perfect man.  He possessed every quality she had been searching for.  Intelligent, handsome, spiritual, similar social circles, and a strong emotional connection – perfect.  She was ready to spend the rest of her life with him.  “But unfortunately, he was looking for the perfect woman,” she said.

The Story of Our Lives

As human beings, we often chase hypothetical, static states of perfection.  We do so when we are searching for the perfect house, job, friend, or lover.

The problem, of course, is that perfection doesn’t exist in a static state.  Because life is a continual journey, constantly evolving and changing.  What is here today is not exactly the same tomorrow.

That perfect house, job, friend, or lover will eventually fade to a state of imperfection.  Thus, the closest we can get to perfection is the experience itself – the snapshot of a single moment held forever in our minds – never evolving, never growing.

So rather than chasing an imaginary perfection, let’s  start chasing life by flipping past the imperfections found on the cover of every entity we encounter and into the blank pages of possibility waiting beneath the cover that will eventually tell the story of our lives.

With a little patience and an open mind, over time, I bet that imperfect house evolves into a comfortable home.  That imperfect job evolves into a rewarding career.  That imperfect friend evolves into a steady shoulder to lean on.  And that imperfect lover evolves into a reliable lifelong companion.

Photo by: Farfie

What is not started today is never finished tomorrow.
- JW von Goethe

Yes, your goals are within reach.  In fact, achieving them is a simple process.  It just requires commitment and action on your behalf.

1. Set your sights on a clear goal – What is it specifically that you want to achieve?  Write it down if you have to.
2. Focus on one thing at a time and pick the next logical task – Ask yourself, “What can I do right now that will bring me one step closer to my desired goal?”
3. Educate yourself – What knowledge and skills are required to complete the task you chose in step #2?  Keep it simple.  Everything else can be learned along the way.
4. Start now – Why haven’t you started?  START!!!
5. Say “NO” to distractions – Is the phone ringing?  Door knocking?  Dog barking?  Unless the house is burning to the ground, IGNORE IT ALL!!!
6. Review and adjust – Are you making progress?  If yes, see the next step.  If not, why not?  Are there any small adjustments you need to make?
7. Press on until the task is complete – Revisit steps #5 and #6 as required.
8. Repeat – Once the task you chose in step #2 is complete, it’s time to repeat all the steps for the next logical task.  Revisit your goal in step #1 so it’s fresh in your mind, choose the next logical task, educate yourself as necessary, etc.

Note:  For complex, long-term goals, I tackle one simple task every day.  Nothing more, nothing less.

Also, I highly recommend these best selling productivity books:

• Eat That Frog!: 21 Great Ways to Stop Procrastinating and Get More Done in Less Time
• Focal Point: A Proven System to Simplify Your Life, Double Your Productivity, and Achieve All Your Goals
• Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity

Photo by: Zach Ancell

Whether you’re planning a four hour road trip or catching a flight to the other side of the world, you have limited space in your suitcase.  So pack these practical, space-saving, multi-function items and you’ll always be prepared without the hassle of lugging around additional gear.

1.  Smart Phone with GPS – A smart phone is an information and communication portal that will likely save your rear end someday.  My smart phone has certainly saved mine a time or two.  Here are some of the basic functions of most modern smart phones:

• Phone
• Maps and GPS
• Internet access (Google, email, etc.)
• Camera
• Can be used in the dark as a flashlight
• Clock (with an alarm)
• Calculator
• Note taking (voice recorder)
• Music and movie player (for entertainment)

2.  Hand Sanitizing Wipes – In my mind, hand sanitizing wipes are essential tools that prevent me from infecting my body with germs on a daily basis.  They have several practical functions:

• Clean hands and other body parts
• Disinfect small cuts and scrapes
• Clean various surfaces (public toilet seats, gas pumps, windshield, etc.)
• Remove small stains from clothing, upholstered furniture, etc.
• Remove makeup

3.  Spare Wallet with Identification and Cash – Let’s recite the Boy Scout motto: “Always be prepared.”  If you lose your primary wallet when you’re hundreds of miles from home, it’s nice to have a back-up plan.  Find a safe, hidden place to stash your spare wallet when you arrive at your destination. While this isn’t a multi-function item in the traditional sense, it can save you so much grief when disaster strikes that it’ll seem like the most functional item in the world.  There are four things I keep in my spare wallet:

• $100 cash
• Spare photo identification
• $100 prepaid visa
• Emergency phone numbers (just in case I lose my phone too)

4.  Credit Card Size Survival Tool – It’s the size of a credit card, made of rugged stainless steel, and has several practical functions including:

• Knife edge
• Screwdriver
• Ruler
• Can opener
• 4 position wrench
• Butterfly screw wrench
• Saw blade

5.  Large Zip-Lock Bags – A large zip-lock bag has hundreds, if not thousands, of practical functions when you’re on the go:

• Keep leftovers fresh
• Keep dry things dry when you’re around water (wallet, electronics, etc)
• Separate dirty, smelly clothes from clean clothes in your suitcase
• Lunchbox
• Organize things like socks, toiletries, small electronics, etc.

6.  Rubber Bands – Rubber bands are simple, functional and versatile.  There is an endless list of practical uses for a rubber band including:

• A simple wallet replacement – Just wrap a rubber band around your cash and cards and stick them in your pocket.
• Keep any wires or small objects in your suitcase organized and untangled.
• A bookmark
• Use a rubber band to strap an injured finger to a firm stick or piece of cardboard until it can be properly casted.
• A safety strap for eye glasses

7.  A Bottle of Water – Water is essential to life, so it’s probably a good idea to keep some with you wherever you go.  And similar to an empty zip-lock bag, water has hundreds, if not thousands, of practical uses:

• Drink it when you’re thirsty
• Cleaning/rinsing agent (lots of possibilities here)
• Pour it into your rental car’s cooling system if it’s overheating.
• Put out a small fire (non grease or electrical).

8.  Leatherman – It’s the all-in-one multi-tool you should never leave home without.  These little tools can handle a plethora of different jobs.  When traveling, I try to keep my Credit Card Size Survival Tool on me at all times (except in airplanes) and my Leatherman secured in my suitcase just in case I need it.  I personally own the Leatherman 830039 (linked above) and I love it.  Here are a few of it’s functions:

• Screw driver
• Bit driver
• Pliers
• Wire cutters
• Knife
• Scissors
• Wood/metal file
• Ruler

9.  Multi-Use Car Charger – Because a cell phone with no battery juice is useless when your car breaks down on the side of the road during a long road trip.  My multi-use car charger (linked above) allows me to charge up to four devices at once.  This unit turns one auto cigarette lighter port into two, has two USB charging ports, and provides a heavy-duty 20 amp capacity.

• Charge your phone
• Charge your camera
• etc.

10.  A Lighter and a Candle – It’s always a good idea to have the capability to create fire just in case you need it.  This one is simple:

• Light
• Heat
• Cooking

11.  Large Ace Bandage – Lots of practical uses including:

• Compression on a injured limb
• Bandage for an open wound or burn
• Tie things together
•  Scarf
• Makeshift glove or grip

12.  Small Roll of Duct Tape – Duct tape solves everything.  ;-)  If you’ve tried using duct tape and you’re still having problems, you just haven’t used enough of it.  Duct tape may very well be the second greatest invention after the hammer.  I’m not even going to attempt to summarize the extensive list of practical applications for duct tape.

Do you think we left an essential item off of the list?  Let us know about it in the comments section below.

Photo by: Pragmagraphr

We can’t solve problems by using the same kind
of thinking we used when we created them.
- Albert Einstein

Never Forgive Him

She showed up at my front door before work at 7AM this morning with the most troubled, despondent expression on her face (which is not typical of her disposition).  “I’m sorry I didn’t call,” she said.  “But I haven’t slept all night, and I really need to talk to someone.  I just need some advice.”

I invited her in and poured her a cup of coffee.  “So, what’s on your mind?” I asked.

“Last night, my husband told me something about his college years that he never told me before,” she said in a shaky voice.  “And I completely disagree with his actions.  It’s horrible, really… and I just can’t stop thinking about it!  I don’t know if I will ever be able to forgive him.”

“Well, before you tell me anything else… Why do you think your husband confided in you?  I mean… Why do you think he told you?”

“I don’t know,” she replied.  “I guess he finally trusted me enough to tell me.”

“Did he commit a crime?”  I asked.

“No.”

“Was anyone physically hurt by his actions?”

“No, not really.”

“So, how do you feel about him right now?  Do you still love him?”

“Of course I do,” she replied.

“And whatever he did back in college, do you think he learned his lesson?  Or do you think he would do it again?”

“Oh yeah, I’m fairly certain he learned a big lesson,” she replied.

“Okay, so let me get this straight… Last night your husband finally felt that he trusted you enough to tell you about a dark secret from his college years.  And although somewhat unsettling, he didn’t hurt anyone, and you think he learned his lesson – which means he grew emotionally from the experience.  And to top it off, you’re still completely in love with him.  So what exactly can you never forgive him for?”

She sat in silence for a second, made a crooked half smile, and then shook her head.  I mimicked her facial expressions and shook my head back at her.

Then she started laughing.  And so did I.

More About Us, Less About Them

Sometimes the problems we have with others – our spouse, parents, siblings, etc. – don’t really have much to do with them at all, because these problems are actually about us.

And that’s okay.  It simply means these little predicaments will be easier to solve.   We are, after all, in charge of our own decisions.  We get to decide whether we want to keep our head cluttered with events from the past, or instead open our minds to the positive realities unfolding in front of us.

All we need is the willingness to look at things a little differently – letting go of ‘what was’ and ‘what should never have been,’ and instead focusing our energy on ‘what is’ and ‘what could be possible.’

Because, as my friend discovered this morning, sometimes the only problem standing in our way is the one we created in our head.

Photo by: Phil H.