Holding on is being brave, but letting go and moving on is often what makes us stronger and happier.
Here are ten signs it’s time to let go:
- Someone expects you to be someone you’re not. – Don’t change who you are for anyone else. It’s wiser to lose someone over being who you are, than to keep them by being someone you’re not. Because it’s easier to mend a broken heart, than it is to piece together a shattered identity. It’s easier to fill an empty space in your life where someone else used to be, than it is to fill the empty space inside yourself where YOU used to be.
- A person’s actions don’t match their words. – Everybody deserves somebody who helps them look forward to tomorrow. If someone has the opposite effect on you, because they are consistently inconsistent and their actions don’t match up with their words, it’s time to let them go. It’s always better to be alone than to be in bad company. True friendship is a promise made in the heart – silent, unwritten, unbreakable by distance, and unchangeable by time. Don’t listen to what people say; watch what they do. Your true friends will slowly reveal themselves over time.
- You catch yourself forcing someone to love you. – Let us keep in mind that we can’t force anyone to love us. We shouldn’t beg someone to stay when they want to leave. That’s what love is all about – freedom. However, the end of love is not the end of life. It should be the beginning of an understanding that love sometimes leaves for a reason, but never leaves without a lesson. If someone truly loves you, they will never give you a reason to doubt it. Anyone can come into your life and say how much they love you, but it takes someone really special to stay in your life and prove how much they love you. Sometimes it takes awhile to find the right person, but the right person is always worth the wait. Read The Road Less Traveled.
- An intimate relationship is based strictly on physical attraction. – Being beautiful is more than how many people you can get to look at you, or how others perceive you at a single glance. It’s about what you live for. It’s about what defines you. It’s about the depth of your heart, and what makes you unique. It’s about being who you are and living out your life honestly. It’s about those little quirks that make you, you. People who are only attracted to you because of your pretty face or nice body won’t stay by your side forever. But the people who can see how beautiful your heart is will never leave you.
- Someone continuously breaks your trust. – Love means giving someone the chance to hurt you, but trusting them not to. When you completely trust a person, without any doubt, you’ll automatically get one of two results – a FRIEND for life or a LESSON for life. Either way there’s a positive outcome. Either you confirm the fact that this person cares about you, or you get the opportunity to weed them out of your life and make room for those who do. In the end you’ll discover who’s fake, who’s true, and who would risk it all for you. And trust me, some people will totally surprise you.
- Someone continuously overlooks your worth. – Know your worth! When you give yourself to someone who doesn’t respect you, you surrender pieces of your soul that you’ll never get back. There comes a point when you have to let go and stop chasing some people. If someone wants you in their life, they’ll find a way to put you there. Sometimes you just need to let go and accept the fact that they don’t care for you the way you care for them. Let them leave your life quietly. Letting go is oftentimes easier than holding on. We think it’s too hard to let go, until we actually do. Then we ask ourselves, “Why didn’t I do this sooner?”
- You are never given a chance to speak your mind. – Sometimes an argument saves a relationship, whereas silence breaks it. Speak up for your heart so that you won’t have regrets. Life is not about making others happy. Life is about being honest and sharing your happiness with others.
- You are frequently forced to sacrifice your happiness. – If you allow people to make more withdrawals than deposits in your life, you will be out of balance and in the negative before you know it. Know when to close the account. It’s always better to be alone with dignity than in a relationship that constantly requires you to sacrifice your happiness and self-respect. Read Stumbling on Happiness.
- You truly dislike your current situation, routine, job, etc. – It’s better to be a failure at something you love than to succeed at doing something you hate. Don’t let someone who gave up on their dreams talk you out of going after yours. The best thing you can do in life is follow your heart. Take risks. Don’t just make the safe and easy choices because you’re afraid of what might happen. If you do, nothing will ever happen. Chances must be taken, mistakes must be made, and lessons must be learned. It might be an uphill climb, but when you reach that mountaintop it will be worth every ounce of blood, sweat and tears you put into it.
- You catch yourself obsessing over, and living in, the past. – Eventually you will overcome the heartache, and forget the reasons you cried, and who caused the pain. Eventually you will realize that the secret to happiness and freedom is not about control or revenge, but in letting things unfold naturally, and learning from your experiences over the course of time. After all, what matters most is not the first, but the final chapter of your life, which unveils the details of how well you wrote your story. So let go of the past, set yourself free, and open your mind to the possibility of new relationships and priceless experiences. Read The Power of Now.
And the one thing you should never let go of is hope. Remember what you deserve and keep pushing forward. Someday all the pieces will come together. Unimaginably good things will transpire in your life, even if everything doesn’t turn out exactly the way you had anticipated. And you will look back at the times that have passed, smile, and ask yourself, “How did I get through all of that?”
Photo by: Kelsey
Penelope says
Thank you. This post is filled with wonderful truths. Regarding #5 – My husband and I did not get along when we first met. Then we got to know each other and I found a friend for life. Then we began to trust each other… and I found the love of my life ?.
Terrence J White says
“How did I get through all of that?” I think this question is what provides hope through letting go; be it relationships, cared opportunities or things of the past. Thanks for the great reminder.
Rabb Eze says
Lovely and true. I simply love this… your posts always seem to speak directly to me. Thank you.
Rachel Lea Green says
I am amazed every day when I see your updates on Facebook and your latest blog posts: it’s as though you know exactly what I need to hear at the exact moment!
Thank y’all so much for being such good people; I too believe life is about helping your neighbor and that is what y’all do. We are all here in this life together and it’s folks like you who remind us to love and lookout for ourselves and others. Peace ? 😉
Mona says
Great food for thought! Thanks for writing this and sharing it with us.
Fardeen Alemi says
Thanks again for another timely post! I got my College Entry Exam scores. I got 280 , when I needed to get 306 if I wanted to get into my school of choice. I was feeling so blue , but your words here have given me hope.
Thanks.
Vita says
I am grateful every time I read your posts and I feel my worries fade away. Thank you for being generous!
Mary Kimberling says
I really enjoyed reading this, there is definitely a lot said here and a lot to think about.
Alex Simring says
I found this really interesting to read, mostly because it made me reflect on the ways that I can sometimes do all of the things in the “top 10” to loved ones, and it gave me pause for thought. In particular point 1, about expecting someone to be who they are not, is powerful. Accepting our partners, friends, family and selves for who we are can truly make us feel valued and valuable.
Thanks for your insights…I’m really liking the look of your blog
Dennis - selfhelpURLs says
Thanks for the great post! 🙂
Just my thought, to let go of a thing or a person is not always easy. It really requires lot of courage to make such move, agree? But it is necessary sometimes.
Cheers,
Dennis.
Kellyd says
Thank you for opening my eyes.. I was touched so much by this post. All of your writing has such beauty & meaning.. Amazing!!! Thank You For Sharing..
Doug says
Timely for me. Thanks for this.
MakieDoll says
I needed this one today – thanks!
Glen says
Hard to hear… but so so true. Thank you for reminding me.
Papri Ahmed says
This is one of my favorite articles on your blog so far. Thanks for sharing it with us. All the best…
Melissa P says
This is the best blog I have come across. You always seem to know exactly what is going on in my heart. Thank you for this!
Vinod says
Well said, all the points are 10/10. Might add turning towards prayers and meditations for healing. Thanks for another positive post.
Paola says
Thanks for this post… this came in one of the most difficult moments of my life. Your insights inspire me to continue walking forward and not lose the hope.
Thanks again.
Debbie@happymaker says
Wonderful tips for letting go. This is something we all have to learn about life and know when to let go.
5. Someone continuously breaks your trust. – Love means giving someone the chance to hurt you, but trusting them not to. This one says a lot.
And this part – a FRIEND for life or a LESSON for life. The thing we have to remember is that if that trust is broken to move on without taking it personal.
Many times we can take things personal and it will keep us from moving on.
Knowing when to let go of a relationship is like taking the garbage out of the stream, so the water can run smoothly.
Stephen says
Fantastic Post!
…And thanks, Marc. The ‘logical-side’ knew the truth long ago, but the ‘emotional-side’ nearly destroyed it. Sure, ‘emotions’ keep one from being cold & ruthless, but they can also cloud vision & enable scum to try to create a mess!
Everything needs balance. 🙂
Lan Hoang says
Many thanks as always! 🙂
Brian says
Lovely. Life is about constant change and growth. Something that was great for us yesterday can be not so good today. Know the difference and act accordingly. Thanks for another great post.
Lesli Doares says
So much time and heartache could be saved if people could let go of those who don’t have their best interests at heart. When someone tells you who they are, believe them. Trying to change them or make them love you just takes time and energy away from finding the ones who will love you for who you are.
MaryLou says
My only sibling decided about 6 months ago that she didn’t need me in her life anymore. This devastated me. We were extremely close, but our paths went in separate directions about 5 years ago. Reading the above blog and thinking through each sign, I must say, I can relate to about 7 of them. Thank you for helping me find some of the peace I’ve been praying for. You touch so many lives in a positive way, I hope you know how much wisdom and compassion you hold in your fingers as you type this blog.
Jerry Hislip says
Your posts set the tone for me daily. Thank You for sharing all your thoughts and wisdom.
Tapa King says
Ouch 🙂 But so true.
Marian says
I needed this today. Perfect timing. Thank you 🙂
CW says
Number 6 is my favorite…thanks for reminding me!!
Me says
Beautiful reminder of what to do and not do in relationships!
Thanks 🙂
Enas says
Totally loved it!!! Especially the “know your worth” point 🙂
Manuel says
Thanks for this wonderful thoughts… I always feel really inspired when I read your blog… I want to keep the hope that everything will be fantastic…
vijay says
Another great post, Marc. Thanks for sharing. In fact, I am so thankful to you for every post you write. You guys make our days.
Ene okwori says
Your site as touched me in so many ways, giving me the push I needed to discard the negative people and thoughts from my life. Thank you.
Jenna says
These are many of the reasons why I felt it was time to end my first marriage. It took me a long time to admit them to myself, and then to get the courage to tell him I had to let go of our relationship. But now, five and a half years later, we are both so much happier. I don’t regret the marriage or its end.
Vance Baldwin says
Thank you for always sharing spiritually guided messages for the heart. This really speaks for me at this time in life. I am shifting towards a new way of thinking and learning new and old things about myself. Truly blessed.
Marc says
As always, thank you, all of you. Your kind remarks mean so much to the both of us.
🙂 We hope you all are having a great week!
Adam says
I have to say, you guys are helping a lot of us through some difficult times.
What I got out of this is that the negative relationship to let go of is the one I have with myself. So many of us are in bad relationships with ourselves and it’s especially challenging to ignore the louder daimonic voice that keeps us in a negative space and try to make out what the much quieter loving voice is telling us.
Much love + respect
Axx
Talia says
You are amazing! Your posts are beautifully written and delivered so timely. Love this blog and look forward to each and every post.
Well done!
Megha says
Thanks. These relationship points are helpful.
jess says
Another great read from you two that made me think. Thanks for spreading such insight.
Mitch Mitchell says
Whew… these are tough to read, but man are they spot on! I think we all go through something like this every once in awhile; I’m kind of going through it lately as well. But we have to follow what’s going on and make the best decisions possible. Timely; thanks for writing this.
Nikky44 says
Loved it! Every point!
Noel says
Sometimes it’s easier to be said than done, but your post gave me the extra courage to do so. After all, sometimes we need to let go of the negatives and make space for something better, right? Thanks so much!
Sonia says
Love it!!! Mind Blowing! I really appreciate your work 🙂
ketki says
Thank you so much!!! This article means a lot to me… frankly, in a subtle way, I was waiting for such piece of advice. 🙂 it’s really helpful.
fatima says
From the bottom of my heart, I thank you for these great words. Truly appreciate them.
inthemidst says
I needed this wake-up call. Your words haunt me. They are the thoughts in my head I have attempted to avoid. These are realities in any relationship but when it is your partner in whom you have invested many years, it seems you spend more effort in looking at your own faults, your own insecurities and your own actions. This is the most painful experience of my life. The thanks I have for your thoughts may not become apparent for some time to come, but I know they were needed.
Stacey says
This is unbelievably relevant for me right now. I’m still trying to recover from getting dumped by a man who was cheating on me with a now-former-friend of mine. So much of this blog entry describes how our relationship was, and I didn’t see it at the time for how unhealthy it was for me. Thank You, Marc and Angel. I’m taking this one to heart.
Momma L says
This is spot on… great insight!
Marek says
Excellent article. I enjoy this blog, @ShamansWell led me to “15 Things Real Friends Do Differently” and I’ve been browsing. Love what I see. Bookmarking this blog ???