Holding on is being brave, but letting go and moving on is often what makes us stronger and happier.
Here are ten signs it’s time to let go:
- Someone expects you to be someone you’re not. – Don’t change who you are for anyone else. It’s wiser to lose someone over being who you are, than to keep them by being someone you’re not. Because it’s easier to mend a broken heart, than it is to piece together a shattered identity. It’s easier to fill an empty space in your life where someone else used to be, than it is to fill the empty space inside yourself where YOU used to be.
- A person’s actions don’t match their words. – Everybody deserves somebody who helps them look forward to tomorrow. If someone has the opposite effect on you, because they are consistently inconsistent and their actions don’t match up with their words, it’s time to let them go. It’s always better to be alone than to be in bad company. True friendship is a promise made in the heart – silent, unwritten, unbreakable by distance, and unchangeable by time. Don’t listen to what people say; watch what they do. Your true friends will slowly reveal themselves over time.
- You catch yourself forcing someone to love you. – Let us keep in mind that we can’t force anyone to love us. We shouldn’t beg someone to stay when they want to leave. That’s what love is all about – freedom. However, the end of love is not the end of life. It should be the beginning of an understanding that love sometimes leaves for a reason, but never leaves without a lesson. If someone truly loves you, they will never give you a reason to doubt it. Anyone can come into your life and say how much they love you, but it takes someone really special to stay in your life and prove how much they love you. Sometimes it takes awhile to find the right person, but the right person is always worth the wait. Read The Road Less Traveled.
- An intimate relationship is based strictly on physical attraction. – Being beautiful is more than how many people you can get to look at you, or how others perceive you at a single glance. It’s about what you live for. It’s about what defines you. It’s about the depth of your heart, and what makes you unique. It’s about being who you are and living out your life honestly. It’s about those little quirks that make you, you. People who are only attracted to you because of your pretty face or nice body won’t stay by your side forever. But the people who can see how beautiful your heart is will never leave you.
- Someone continuously breaks your trust. – Love means giving someone the chance to hurt you, but trusting them not to. When you completely trust a person, without any doubt, you’ll automatically get one of two results – a FRIEND for life or a LESSON for life. Either way there’s a positive outcome. Either you confirm the fact that this person cares about you, or you get the opportunity to weed them out of your life and make room for those who do. In the end you’ll discover who’s fake, who’s true, and who would risk it all for you. And trust me, some people will totally surprise you.
- Someone continuously overlooks your worth. – Know your worth! When you give yourself to someone who doesn’t respect you, you surrender pieces of your soul that you’ll never get back. There comes a point when you have to let go and stop chasing some people. If someone wants you in their life, they’ll find a way to put you there. Sometimes you just need to let go and accept the fact that they don’t care for you the way you care for them. Let them leave your life quietly. Letting go is oftentimes easier than holding on. We think it’s too hard to let go, until we actually do. Then we ask ourselves, “Why didn’t I do this sooner?”
- You are never given a chance to speak your mind. – Sometimes an argument saves a relationship, whereas silence breaks it. Speak up for your heart so that you won’t have regrets. Life is not about making others happy. Life is about being honest and sharing your happiness with others.
- You are frequently forced to sacrifice your happiness. – If you allow people to make more withdrawals than deposits in your life, you will be out of balance and in the negative before you know it. Know when to close the account. It’s always better to be alone with dignity than in a relationship that constantly requires you to sacrifice your happiness and self-respect. Read Stumbling on Happiness.
- You truly dislike your current situation, routine, job, etc. – It’s better to be a failure at something you love than to succeed at doing something you hate. Don’t let someone who gave up on their dreams talk you out of going after yours. The best thing you can do in life is follow your heart. Take risks. Don’t just make the safe and easy choices because you’re afraid of what might happen. If you do, nothing will ever happen. Chances must be taken, mistakes must be made, and lessons must be learned. It might be an uphill climb, but when you reach that mountaintop it will be worth every ounce of blood, sweat and tears you put into it.
- You catch yourself obsessing over, and living in, the past. – Eventually you will overcome the heartache, and forget the reasons you cried, and who caused the pain. Eventually you will realize that the secret to happiness and freedom is not about control or revenge, but in letting things unfold naturally, and learning from your experiences over the course of time. After all, what matters most is not the first, but the final chapter of your life, which unveils the details of how well you wrote your story. So let go of the past, set yourself free, and open your mind to the possibility of new relationships and priceless experiences. Read The Power of Now.
And the one thing you should never let go of is hope. Remember what you deserve and keep pushing forward. Someday all the pieces will come together. Unimaginably good things will transpire in your life, even if everything doesn’t turn out exactly the way you had anticipated. And you will look back at the times that have passed, smile, and ask yourself, “How did I get through all of that?”
Photo by: Kelsey
I Googled “letting go” and brought me here. I let go of a good friend and am heart broken. She loves drama (makes decisions that gets her in trouble over and over again) but runs to me for help when things go wrong. Enough was enough. I’m hurting for feeling like I wasn’t recognize for my worth as a friend. Thank you for the read.
I was courting this girl who at first seemed to share my love for her. We made so many plans for the future together, and I made her a big part of my life. I know I loved her genuinely because I willingly made countless sacrifices for her, sacrifices that she seemed to appreciate only at the moment but forgot them as soon as some problems came along. She didn’t seem to want to make our relationship work. The more I tried to understand her, the more she pushed me away, and she eventually left me, just like that. I was devastated. Thanks to this article I came to realize that if something you want doesn’t happen despite your full effort to make it happen, just take it as a sign that maybe it wasn’t meant to be, because something better is out there waiting for you.
Uncannily synchronistic, as always. This is precisely what I needed to hear today. I fell deeply in love with someone who left me a couple of weeks ago, via email, with very little explanation, and now his explanation has proven to be untrue. The more I tried to open up and be vulnerable and honest with him, the more it pushed him away. It is time for me to let go of all of the hopes I had for us. It will be hard, but I know it’s the right thing to do. Thank you so much for posting this today.
This is one awesome article 🙂 .. it made me so so so happy !! .. I only wish that I’d found it early today so that I didn’t have to crib all day long .. Thanks a million for sharing this article 🙂
“We can’t force anyone to love us. We shouldn’t beg someone to stay when they want to leave.” Love it! That’s what love is all about – freedom…
Sometimes all it takes is hearing it in another’s words to remind you of what you already know. Thank you. I needed a reminder about so many things on this list.
Talk about straight to the heart! I just recently had my hurt broken ….no shattered into million pieces. After reading this, it has opened my eyes! Thxs so much you blessed me!
You’re so inspirational and helpful, I feel a little stronger with each blog post I read. Thank you!
Lots of Love <3
What a GREAT post! I’m stunned! Gonna save it – on my computer and in my heart <3
Your page is really awesome – inspirational and helpful. Keep up the good work; know that a lot of people appreciate it! Thank you.
Lot’s of love.
neha maheshwry says
Simply perfect. Thanks for sharing this.
Renee Jones says
True! Love this!
Ms Green says
Thank you for the post (:
Learning how to let go is something I’ve been trying to learn since that fateful day on 21 Dec 2010… A date of no significance to me anymore! I must move on!
Daryl, Jessie, and Erin I know exactly how you feel. This post was great and helpful in so many ways . Thank you!
excellent post as always
Your post really helped me. Thank you 🙂 My heart still loves my ex boyfriend and reading your article really helps with perspective xx
Thank you so much!! Were currently going through a rough time and so many of this really speaks truth of our relationship. Its hard because we have a family together but this gave me hope that things will work out for the best!
Your article resonates with me greatly and I believe I was destined to read it. Your insight has helped this slowly recovering heart. Thank you! Wishing you light and joy. Liz
Thank you very much. I needed this today. Reading this really helped me make a final decision about my relationship.
Becky Livingston says
Wow, fantastic. Yes, confirms what a wise friend once told me, “You can’t make anyone love you. Love will find you.” As difficult as it is to acknowledge, I get that now.
Katina Patterson says
I thank you also for the wonderful post. I’ve read it on numerous occassions in an effort to “remind” myself that I made the correct decision when choosing to end a relationship with the person that I love so so deeply. Numbers 2, 3, 5 & 6 are all relative to that toxic life sucking relationship.
As Stephen posted, “The ‘logical-side’ knew the truth long ago, but the ‘emotional-side’ nearly destroyed it. Sure, ‘emotions’ keep one from being cold & ruthless, but they can also cloud vision & enable scum to try to create a mess! Everything needs balance.”
A mess he did create indeed, crushed me. But I’m gaining momentum & posts like this aid in this healing process. Thank you again. Peace & Love <3
Awesome article! It’s like we don’t have any shrinks in here where so, I open your website and feel like taking notes from you! You folks, are one of the best things to happen online in a long while.
Peace and LOVE!!
This is really amazing… i feel the freedom now. Thanks for sharing this article, it has saved me grief and changed my view. I will read it again and again.
Thank you for your words of wisdom. 4 and 5 hit the nail on the head for me. I was with this man for a year, and always had doubts about what I meant to him. Well, I know for sure now. Superficial people are a menace. I’ve learned my lesson; let my intuition be my guide.
Thank you so much for your words.
Fab post, love all your meaningful tips. I can relate to the “trust” point here, it is so true some people really do surprise you.
Thanx for sharing! x
This is a great insight and look on many people’s lives – I can definitely relate. I needed this it’s an easy way to make me look forward.
Thank you for telling me what I knew in my heart, but have been frightened for so long to admit to myself….One I shall be saving to my homepage for comfort when I need it.
Thank you for writing this post. I have been tormented with the decision to break it off with a man who emotionally abuses me with distance and the silent treatment and then love and affection and then immediately cold and distant once he gets what he wants from me. It’s hard for me because my heart was already invested when the coldness came about. He’s back and forth so much, I have two visions in my mind–one is leaving him and taking a chance on a brand new unknown life and the other is giving him the benefit of the doubt (yet again) and being loving and loyal. He’s coming to visit in two weeks (we are long-distance) and I’m scared that I won’t live up to my own expectations. I’m trying to gain strength through the positive articles I’ve found and my spiritual practice–I have to say this guy has been under my skin for 5 years now. I honestly don’t see myself with any other man, but I know that I cannot continue to be played by him. I’m very happy to have come across your blog. Maybe, it will give me the strength to say “no” to someone who de-values me, no matter how much I love him.
I am in the same boat…met a friend who claims to be a christian and a true friend, but her actions does not match her words. She is controlling in a subtle way; tries to make me feel guilty and always attempt to throw biblical verses at me for every actions I take. I cannot speak my mind without being corrected in a biblical sense. I believe but it is really ridiculous and suffocating. I decided to let go slowly and respectful. I feel better that this friendship did not become an obsession on my part. God does protect you if you ask. Thanks for the post…very helpful.
I can relate to all the signs because I went trhough all them. What I like most in this article are those hopeful words and thoughts you laid out here, it’s like I can almost taste them. I just did let go today.. I thank God as well for the graces He gave me so I can let go quietly, no revengeful or bitter heart, without committing acts I will regret and making me charitable and let go.. Thank you for your wonderful thoughts. God bless!
This is so soothing for the heart. Reading it over and over is definitely helping.
Thank you for this. I needed some perspective as I have been spinning my wheels for a long while feeling helpless and yes, afraid. I am struggling to let go of a stressful family situation that has affected my health so badly my life expectancy has now been shortened. There have been so many glaring realities that I have chosen to put on the backburner while I cared for others and put myself last. Just by reading this has helped me make a choice for moving forward. Thank you for your wisdom
Light and blessings to you!
Robert C. says
This advice is so gratefully appreciated… I have struggled with these ten items all my childhood and my adult life, I have decided to draw that line in the sand and state from myself No More…. Its Time To Let Things Go That Bring No Value…
just what i needed, thank you 🙂
Thank you kindly for sharing this wonderfully written blog.
One of the most brilliant posts I’ve read on the topic of letting go.
Thanks for the teachings.
Thank you for the advice on relationships and letting go. In the end, two people just have to mesh together. There is no such thing as a perfect match and you have to work at your relationships to keep them running. Sometimes partners take each other for granted and thus leads to one of them crossing the line somehow.
Boy, I really needed this list right now. There are some relationships (family and other) that I’ve been needing to re-evaluate and have surely been chasing after and need to let free. And it actually feels spiritually lifting to me right now to let them go, as challenging as letting go might appear to be. The chipping away inside, at the price of keeping and maintaining the relationships, at “any cost” – have been killing me. And I do deserve better. Thank you for writing this, it is much appreciated.
This blog is beautifully written, truthful and painful.
sam jones says
Wow beautifully witten piece. Thank you so much for sharing, just what I needed to hear today 🙂
Simply amazing!!! How do you come up with this fantastic stuff…?
BEBAPERE CHRISTOPHER says
This is awesome!
I read this every day and it goes someway to easing the pain of my love lost. I’ve just returned from a visit to Poland to yet again win the heart of someone I love(d), respected and cherished. She had a troubled past and many fears about relationships. I showed nothing but commitment, devotion and adoration. Yet she continually showed me a lack of respect and no compassion. I feel devastated and so very very alone. But as WEAK AS I AM, there are no tears this time. I pray to an angel that I’ll get through this.
I sometimes find myself feeling a bit frustrated while reading through these blogs of information and help!? For the majority, they pertain to intimate relationships. As for myself, it is a family pain!! Although I am very grateful for what the two of you do to help others, I would like to find a page which relates to family matters!? Any suggestions will be greatly appreciated! 🙂
TRUE & WISE!
Abuse is way too prevelant in today’s society. I hope we can all let go of the anger and downsides of people whom control others and let others be. Peace for today…. growth for tomorrow.
This blog is so insightful and just when I badly needed a “friend” to soothe away the pain in my heart…
But the funny thing for me is that no matter how much my mind tells me to let go, my heart is still not ready…Why is it so?
This is the one person who affects me so much and I have all the difficulties in the world to ignore and forget him…It is becoming insane…
He is very loving but there is a sadness in my heart that he does not love me the way I want it to be…
It would have been easier to let go if he was really bad…but he is not…May be he just does not feel the same love that i feel for him…
Still letting go is so difficult and heartbreaking…
But reading your blog, I finally understood what is best for me to do.
This is exactly what I needed to be reminded of this morning. Well written. It’s amazing how letting go of old ways of thinking and asking the right questions can free you from so much stress.
I feel ashamed saying that my relationship has every single one of the flaws on this article… I always knew that it wasn’t right, but he always says I’m crazy. I know I’m not crazy! I know he doesn’t treat me right.. I know this relationship isn’t right. He tells me he loves me, but his actions show the complete opposite. I just feel like I’m on a dead end relationship. It’s time to let go and make a change.
I love the messages. They uplift my spirit. I have been so down these days but stumbling upon your posts gives me a reason to smile and contemplate a better life. Thank you very much. More power to you. 🙂