We are not just what we know, but what we are willing to learn.
When my Grandma Zelda passed away a decade ago at the age of 90, she left me with a box of miscellaneous items from her house that she knew I had grown to appreciate over the years. Among these items was an old leather-bound journal that she aptly named her Inspiration Journal.
Throughout the second half of her life, Grandma Zelda used this journal to jot down ideas, thoughts, quotes, song lyrics, and anything else that moved her. She would read excerpts from her journal to me when I was growing up, and I would listen and ask lots of questions. I honestly credit a part of who I am now to the wisdom she bestowed on me when I was young.
Although I’ve shared some of her wisdom in the past here on the blog and with our newsletter subscribers, today is the day she became an angel ten years ago. So to honor her, I want to share some of my favorite excerpts from her journal that I actually remember her sharing with me back in the day. I’ve done my best to sort, copyedit, and reorganize her thoughts into twelve inspiring bullet points. I hope you find value in them.
1. Breathe in the future, breathe out the past.
No matter where you are or what you’re going through, always believe that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Never expect, assume, or demand. Just do your best, control the elements you can control, and then let it be. Because once you have done what you can, if it is meant to be, it will happen, or it will show you the next step that needs to be taken.
2. Life CAN be simple again.
Just choose to focus on one thing at a time. You don’t have to do it all, and you don’t have to do it all right now. Breathe, be present, and do your best with what’s in front of you. What you put into life, life will often give you back many times over. (Read “The Power of Now” — a book that once sat on my grandma’s nightstand.)
3. Let others take you as you are, or not at all.
Speak and walk your truth even if your voice and legs shake. By being yourself you put something beautiful into the world that was not there before. So walk your path confidently and don’t expect anyone else to understand your journey, especially if they have not been exactly where you are going.
4. You are not who you used to be, and that’s OK.
You’ve been hurt; you’ve gone through numerous ups and downs that have made you who you are today. Over the years, so many things have happened — things that have changed your perspective, taught you lessons, and forced your spirit to grow. As time passes, nobody stays the same, but some people will still tell you that you have changed. Respond to them by saying, “Of course I’ve changed. That’s what life is all about. But I’m still the same person, just a little stronger now than I ever was before.”
5. Everything that happens helps you grow, even if it’s hard to see right now.
Circumstances will direct you, correct you, and perfect you over time. So whatever you do, hold on to hope. The tiniest thread will twist into an unbreakable cord. Let hope anchor you in the possibility that this is not the end of your story – that the change in the tides will eventually bring you to peaceful shores.
6. Happiness is a priceless asset.
Don’t just educate yourself to be rich, educate yourself to be happy. That way when you get older you’ll know the true value of things, not the price. You will come to realize that the best days are the days when you don’t need anything extreme or special to happen to make you smile. You simply appreciate the moments and feel gratitude, seeking nothing else, nothing more. That is what true happiness is all about in the end. (Note: Angel and I discuss this in more detail in the Happiness and Growth chapters of “1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently”.)
7. Be determined to be positive on the average day.
Understand that the greater part of your misery or unhappiness is determined not by your circumstances, but by your attitude. So give yourself a break today. Instead of dwelling on people who have let you down, refocus your time and energy on appreciating those who lift you up. Remember, you can’t control the impolite things some people say and do to you, but you can decide not to be distracted by them.
8. Pay close attention to people you care about.
Sometimes when a loved one says, “I’m okay,” they need you to look them in the eyes, hug them tight, and reply, “I know you’re not.” And don’t be too upset if some people only seem to remember you when they need you. Feel privileged that you are like a beacon of light that comes to their minds when there is darkness in their lives.
9. Autonomy is a gift you can give.
Sometimes you have to let a person go so they can grow. Because, over the course of their lives, it is not what you do for them, but what you have taught them to do for themselves that will make them a successful human being.
10. You will outgrow some relationships.
Sometimes getting the results you crave means distancing yourself from people that don’t serve your best interests. This allows you to make space for those who support you in being the absolute best version of yourself. It happens gradually as you grow. You find out who you are and what you need, and then you realize that people you’ve known for awhile don’t see things the way you do. So you keep the wonderful memories, but find yourself moving on.
11. You don’t need anyone else’s permission to listen to your intuition.
It’s usually better to look back on life and say, “I can’t believe I did that,” than to look back and say, “I wish I did that.” In the end people will judge you in some way anyway. So don’t live your life trying to impress others. Instead live your life impressing yourself. Love yourself enough to never lower your standards for anyone.
12. Endings often create beginnings to wonderful journeys.
If you’re looking for a happy ending and can’t seem to find one, maybe it’s time to start looking for a new beginning. Brush yourself off and accept that you have to fail from time to time — that’s how you learn. The strongest people out there — the ones with a genuine smile — are often the same people who have fought the toughest battles. They’re smiling because they’ve decided that they’re not going to let anything hold them down. They’re letting go and moving forward, one step at a time.
Promise yourself…
As I’m wrapping up this short tribute to my grandma, I’m reminded of a poem excerpt by Christian D. Larson that she used to have hanging on her refrigerator when I was a kid. As soon as I was old enough to understand the poem, my grandma made a photocopy of it for me, and over 30 years later I still have that same photocopy laminated and hanging on my office bulletin board. These are words my grandma said she strived to live by:
Promise Yourself…
To think only the best, to work only for the best, and to do the best you can.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.
To forgive the mistakes of the past and press on to greater achievements in the present.
To wear a friendly countenance at all times and give every living creature you meet a smile.
To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others.
To be too focused for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too at peace to permit the presence of trouble.
To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud words but great deeds.
To live in faith that the whole world is on your side so long as you are true to the best that is in you.
Now, it’s your turn!
Before you go, please leave Angel and me a comment below and let us know what you think of this essay. Your feedback is important to us. 🙂
Which one of my grandma’s points resonated the most today?
Finally, if you haven’t done so already, be sure to sign-up for our free newsletter to receive new articles like this in your inbox each week.
Frances Logan says
Number 11 resonated a lot for me. “It’s usually better to look back on life and say, “I can’t believe I did that,” than to look back and say, “I wish I did that.”
Last year I took a lot of brave bold steps that created a lot of change in my life. I was feeling very good about the changes mostly but then recently started doubting myself as some of the results are not part of what I’d hoped for. Number 11 reminded me that if i hadn’t taken the steps I wouldn’t have had any of the wonderful experiences I had and that I still have a lot of flexibility for how to go forward.
Dawn says
Amen. Thank you so much for sharing. It means so much to me to know that by just letting go and allowing the chips to fall as they will. To not to be fake and act like they care only when needing something or someone. Life can be be a precious gift. If we all just learn to let go and live to the best of your ability. People still judge me from past mistakes but if I would have never made those mistakes I certainly would not be the strong woman and mother I am. Today. Sometimes you just have to be yourself and breathe. I used to blame myself all the time for my life mishaps but when I look back I realized that. I am ME and I am moving on. Thank you for your blog. Such a wonderful inspiration. Your Grandma was a wise woman. God bless you and Marc!!!!
Kerry Weaver says
I loved Grandma Zelda’s message about not trying to impress others. Very resonant with all of us!
Also, I am a grandmother myself and I’ve had that same poem hanging around. I’ve referenced it many times over the years.
You’re Grandmother left you with wonderful memories and great advice.
Humphrey says
I feel blessed to be receiving your articles. The truth is that these articles make my world beautiful and give me conviction that with the right attitude I can achieve my goals in life.
Thank you.
Debra says
“Promise Yourself…” had the greatest impact on me. I don’t want to waste my life on matters meaning nothing but, instead, to make a difference, if it’s only a difference I feel.
Wendy says
Thank you Marc and Angel, just signed my divorce papers today as I finally decided to let it go…Im printing this poem and framing it too, thank you your articles and emails are always in synchronization with my needs, I thank the Universe for sending you my way Love and Appreciation to you for your Wisdom
Dilinger Megan says
I love this. I’m a soon to be 49 year old woman with 3 little girls. And I have done a lot of growing and self resonating in the last few years. This has inspired me to get a journal myself and write down things and thoughts and new discoveries. It can go to my girls and then their children. Maybe leaving a piece of me with them. I thank you for sharing your grandmother. She was a wise woman. Im sorry for your loss of her. Thank you.
Julia Marable says
I absof’nlutely LOVE you guys! The only e-mail/article I get that’s worth my time! Every single email – every time – I learn SO much-realize SO much! Been a longtime fan (at least 5 yrs…been out of touch but I HAD to comment how great you two are & how grateful I am our paths crossed & that u guys do what u do. Thank you!! xoxo
Wolf Bennett says
I coach small children (of all ages) to ski, but really and truly I teach life skills. Yes, I teach Greek philosophy to 7 year olds … and it works. Adding in this wisdom will help. I wish we all had such good influences in our lives growing up. Thank you.
Kameela says
Thank you for sharing your grandmother’s wise words. She had a very open heart which is truly a gift. My grandmother did not keep a journal but would impart similar words of wisdom which have shaped who I am today.
michelle says
I love Grammy Zelda’s beautiful words! Thank you so much for sharing them that’s pretty awesome she kept an inspirational journal…she was ahead of her time. We are all lucky to have the chance to meet/learn from her! Thank you for sharing her with us.
Kathleen says
All these pieces of advice are so important to live a life that has purpose. #5 resonated with me as everything that happens in my life is for my growth, even the negative experiences. I’m grateful that God has been with me during my tough experiences. His presence made me realize that all things will work out for good as I seek to live for a higher purpose and to love others despite their toxic effects.
Catherine Cameron-Ramsay says
There are a lot of practical words of wisdom in these excerts/quotes to help you let go of the past and move in to the future. People even those closest to you can be cruel without even knowing it. Personally age has brought a maturity that makes me realize some people do not have the will or desire to forgive. Sometimes strangers learn to know you best and make great friends. We can’t choose our family but we can choose to forgive and rebuild. It’s just that first step that’s so hard. This is mine!
Maria says
Sitting here wiping tears as I type this…I have been a follower of yours for more time than I can remember, and this came at a perfect time for me. My mom just passed away last month, and she and I were never close, unfortunately. I wish I’d had a grandmother like yours to bestow this type of wisdom on me, but I do believe my dad did instill some of this in me. Life is hard, but it’s up to US to live it and respond it in the most appropriate ways. I’ll be copying this into my Google drive, as well as printing it out to put into my gratitude journal.
Happy Anniversary to you both, as well! Much love from Arizona…
TJ Chasteen says
Thanks for sharing Marc.
I lived with my Papaw until the age of 16 – when he lost his fight to cancer. He taught me a similar list of lessons and this has inspired me to devote a post to him. Your grandma was a wise woman, I am glad you had the blessing of her in your life.
Best,
TJ
Louise Borg says
#10 hits home for me these days as I say goodbye to long past toxic relationship and try not to be so hard on myself for having faith in them once again! But no more! I have seen their true colors once and for all and strive daily to have an attitude of gratitude…thank you so much for these blogs, so many of them have resonated with me and I read many of them regularly especially when I am feeling low.
Brenda Cannon Henley says
I was reared by my maternal grandmother and love any and everything you share about yours. Wisdom was much more of an open commodity during their generations.
I am an Inspirational Editor and Writer for two Texas newspapers, 13 statewide magazines, several blog spots, my church, and several other outlets. I have enjoyed reading your material since a friend sent me my first piece from you some time ago.
I have quoted bits and pieces from your thoughts and collections and have always given you attribution.
You both are a blessing and I appreciate you.
Debra Holland says
Beautiful words of wisdom. Several resonated deeply.
One thing my grandmother used to tell us (from the experience of her family losing everything in WWll) was, “Always get your education, because that cannot be taken away from you.”
Helen Linden says
Number 5 resonated with me. I always taught my children from something bad comes something good even though you can’t see it at that time. When my 23 year old son suddenly passed away, it was put to the test for me. What was my take away? I learned to appreciate life in a way that could never have happened if my son hadn’t passed away.
I have grown exponentially because of this experience. I truly enjoy your articles every morning. We need more people like you to infuse our world with positivity and hope.
Laura Lee Locheed says
SO very grateful here, as you Two share with Us All ” The Wisdom of the Ages.” A beacon of hope, and a fine example of how respecting Our Elders in a Western Society that often dismisses this Age Group. You’re widening the Paths of Love and Growth.
CC says
Thank you for sharing so much love and wisdom to guide me along this rocky road of life. I have never had a Grandmother and my Mother died when I was only two. Although I am now 70 , this absence of maternal wisdom, has sorely crippled me.
Please accept all my gratitude and love.
Jenny says
I read your mails every time they land in my inbox, because I know from experience they will be worth reading. Just want to say thank you for all the authentic and honest wisdom you have imparted over the years. It has been appreciated on a deep level by myself and certainly by so many others! As far as I can, I live by your advice.
Damacline Mwoma, Kenya says
Number three resonates with me. I have been fighting to let go of the past mistakes and the worries that the past brings to the present life. It has not been a walk in the park, but I am in a place of confidence, enthusiasm about life and above all I have surrendered the future to the Almighty. Thank you because I subscribed to this newsletter almost five years ago, and though sometimes I unsubscribe to many newsletters, it is hard to bid bye to your insights. I am aspiring to create a platform of exchanging health information, and you are surely my motivation.
Elle Pea says
Marc, you have no idea how much this post means to me today. You see, today also marks 10 years since my 95 year old grandmother passed away.
For a very long time I have been a people pleaser, but have recently been doing the work to learn to love myself and not be afraid to show up as my true, authentic self. # 3 really resonates with me! I am a big believer in signs and I can’t help but feel like my grandmother is sending me this as a reminder. These words might not have had the same impact on a different day of the year.
Thank you, for sharing these wonderful bits of wisdom!
Laura Brown says
I really like the picture touching hands, really remarkable seeing the pass of the times. I resonated with most of what you said. I also have the book “The power of now”. which is true “what you put on life it gives you back”. Another advice from a friend “smile” and keep me with the smile on the face. I really appreciated my old friends which gave me lots of saying that I can now still remember. Thanks for your words about your grandma and really enjoying reading.
Kasozi says
Thank you so much for these wonderful and inspiring words from your grandma. They made a difference to me today.
Lou says
All great wisdom. Thank you.
Lu says
All hitting close to my growing life rules. In my 59 years, I am Proud to call 3 friends of 40+ years My Family, they’re the true definition of ‘Unconditional Love’. Several years ago I decided
I’d had enough seeing how their standard & normal way of living was a toxic wasteland of lies & manipulation. I’m still growing & learning, but my #1 Rule: Never Lie to Me !!!
Ya’ll know it don’t take but a few days/weeks and then your Dead to me.
All My Thanks & Love to Amy, Maddy & Beth
Dead to Me if you do !!!
Martha Camacho says
Wonderful positivity … my grandmother was a bit progressive in her time working quietly behind the scenes, but still a force to be reckoned with. She had the serenity prayer (written in her embroidery) hanging in her kitchen and I notice some overlap in that message and your grandmother’s.
Marc says
The one that resonated with me the most was the one about being enthusiastic for OTHERS success as well as your own. That takes the pressure off of you, and builds other people up, and makes them more likely to want to Build you up as well. Kind of like giving compliments. A great person is one who sees the greatness in others, too.
Carla Mathis says
All of these are amazing thoughts to help guide me to a better place. Thank you! Some, I already use; Breathe in the future & exhale the past is one I use with meditation. I breath in thinking of all the beautiful people in or have been part of my life, the love they give or gave me. My Mother & her amazing love before she passed, my family, my animals especially my Bella’s love, all the nature that God puts in front of me. All these positive thoughts while breathing in knowing they were & are precious gifts. Then I exhale the past, breathing out any pain I’ve encountered throughout my life. Deep slow breaths. It lightens my load each day. ??