It is nearly impossible for anyone, even the most ineffective among us, to continue to choose a life of tedious grief after becoming fully enlightened to the fact that ineffectiveness is a choice. It is the direct outcome of unproductive beliefs and behaviors.
So here’s a quick reminder – nine things to stop believing:
1. “I don’t know what I want.”
Never let what other people expect from you dictate what you expect from yourself. Figure out what you want. Clarity about your true desires is so liberating because you get to stop proving yourself to everyone, including yourself.
When you get real about the true feelings you crave, you end up surprising yourself with an abundance of new opportunities and possibilities. Read Awaken the Giant Within.
2. “I can deal with it all later.”
Without a plan you’re going to stay where you are. It’s time to figure it out. It’s time to make a move.
You will not be judged by what you say; you will be judged by what you do. Wake up each morning determined, so you can go to bed satisfied. Have the courage and discipline today to do what is needed instead of simply what is convenient.
3. “That’s too much work.”
Life is not always easy. Wishing for a situation to be easier without taking action usually just makes it more difficult. The most effective way to handle what must be done is to do it.
The time-tested strategy for making life truly easier is to work through each challenge as it arises, persistently following through to the best of your ability. Use each challenge as an opportunity to create value and make a difference, and you’ll eventually get to wherever it is you hope to go.
4. “I don’t have the strength.”
Stand up to your obstacles and do something about them. You will find that they don’t have half the strength you think they have.
The struggle you’re in today is developing the strength you need for tomorrow. Even when you give it your best shot and you miss, it’s not a failure. Instead, it’s just another opportunity to step up to the plate and do it better next time. You are stronger than you think. Don’t give up. Read As a Man Thinketh.
5. “My relationship with someone else will solve my problems.”
The most powerful relationship you will ever have is the relationship with yourself. If you’re not comfortable enough with yourself or with your own truth when entering a relationship, then you’re not ready for that relationship. Because you are incapable of loving another unless you love yourself, just as you are incapable of teaching someone else something unless you yourself understand it.
6. “I will never forgive!”
You have to forgive.
You don’t have to like them, you don’t have to be friends with them, you don’t have to spend time with them ever again, but you have to forgive them, to let go, to let it rest, to let bygones be bygones. Because if you don’t, you are choosing to tie boulders to your ankles, which are way too heavy for your growing wings to carry.
7. “New paths and experiences are too risky.”
Have the willingness to feel the fear and do it anyway. It’s not the future that you need to be afraid of; it’s repeating the past that threatens your growth. Wouldn’t you rather attempt to do something great and learn a lesson, than attempt to do nothing and learn nothing for the rest of your life? Read Authentic Happiness.
8. “Starting over is not for me, no matter the circumstances.”
There comes a point in your life when you realize that nothing will ever be the same, and you realize that from now on, time will be divided in two parts: before this and after this.
But that’s okay. There’s no shame in starting over again, for you get a chance to rebuild things bigger and better than they ever were before, or reinvent yourself and do something you’ve always wanted to do.
9. “My unhappiness now will create happiness in my future.”
Maybe you think you’re entitled to more happiness in the future by forgoing all of it now, but it doesn’t work that way. Being happy takes as much practice as being unhappy. It’s by living with a smile that you smile more. By waiting you wait more. Every waiting day makes your lifetime as a whole a little less happy.
To be happy is to truly live. Every day you put off your life makes you less capable of living it to the fullest.
Photo by: Rick Harrison