“Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it.”
— Ann Landers
You are changing. The universe around you is changing. Just because something was right for you in the past doesn’t mean it still is. This could be a relationship, a job, a home, a habit, etc.
It happens to you slowly as you grow. You discover more about who you are and what you want out of life, and then you realize there are deliberate changes you need to make to keep up with the changes happening around you and within you.
The lifestyle you’ve been living no longer fits. The specific people and routines you’ve known forever no longer align with your values. So you cherish all the memories, but find yourself letting go and moving on.
If you’re currently dealing with this process you may feel a bit awkward, and that’s OK. This feeling is normal. I’ve been right there with you on more occasions than I can count.
Reasons to Let Go and Move On
- Someone’s negativity is rubbing off on you. – You are the average of the people you spend the most time with. In other words, who you spend your time with has a great impact on the person you are and the person you become. If you are around cynical and negative people all the time, you will become cynical and negative.
- You have grown apart from someone. – Sad but true, no matter what you do or how much you explain yourself, some people will gradually evolve away from your core values. As time goes on they will prove over and over again that they are committed to misunderstanding you and clashing with your needs.
- You are truly unhappy with your current circumstances. – It’s always better to be struggling at something you love than succeeding diligently at something you despise. (Read Quitter.)
- Your goals and needs have changed. – What was right for you then is not necessarily right for you now. Sometimes the hardest part isn’t letting go but rather realizing that you have changed, and then learning to start over with your new truth.
- Fear is holding you back. – Part of letting go and moving on is facing the fears and disappointments of the past that are binding your spirit.
- You catch yourself living in the past. – If all you do is attempt to relive something that has already happened, you’re missing out. The mental space you create by letting go of things that are already behind you gives you the ability to fill the space with something fresh and fun.
- An old grudge is still hurting you. – Holding on to the weight of anger, resentment and hatred will not only hold you back, but also block your present blessings and opportunities. You’ve just got to drop some things to move forward.
- You aren’t learning anything new. – Living is learning. All positive change is the end result of learning. If you aren’t learning, you’re simply dying slowly.
One Small Example of Letting Go
We had been friends since grade school when I finally told one of my childhood friends, “Enough is enough!” Although we had basically grown up together, we were now on different planets when it came to our goals and dreams. He believed there was one right way to do things – go to college, get a degree, get a job, and dedicate every waking moment of your life to it. I had other plans.
Although I did get my degree and a job after college, in our free time Angel and I started writing articles on the blog you’re reading now. As the blog’s reach grew, my friend discredited our success. Whenever I shared one of our small success stories, he would say something negative like, “Whatever. It’s just a blog. I have one too.”
When Angel quit her job to work on the blog full-time, my friend basically told me we’d fail. “That’s ridiculous! Angel had a good job,” he said. “You’re just playing with fire in this economy if you ask me.” To which I replied, “I’m not asking you.”
That was the beginning of the end of our story as friends. Years later, our relationship is now a mere shadow of what it was and my life is honestly far brighter for it. Letting my friend go wasn’t easy, but it was necessary for my own well-being and growth.
Ways to Let Go and Move On
Holding on is like believing that there’s only a past; letting go and moving on is knowing in your heart that there’s a bright future ahead. Let’s take a look at eight ways to design the latter.
- Accept the truth and be thankful. – To let go is to be thankful for the experiences that made you laugh, made you cry, and helped you learn and grow. It’s the acceptance of everything you have, everything you once had, and the possibilities that lie ahead. It’s all about finding the strength to embrace life’s changes, to trust your intuition, to learn as you go, to realize that every experience has value, and to continue taking positive steps forward. (This process is something Angel and I discuss in the Adversity chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)
- Distance yourself for a while. – Sometimes you need to take several steps back in order to gain clarity on a situation. The best way to do this is to simply take a break and explore something else for a while. Why? So you can return to where you started and see things with a new set of eyes. And the people there may see you differently too. Returning where you started is entirely different than never leaving.
- Focus only on what can be changed. – Realize that not everything in life is meant to be modified or perfectly understood. Live, let go, learn what you can and don’t waste energy worrying about the things you can’t change. Focus exclusively on what you can change, and if you can’t change something you don’t like, change the way you think about it. Review your options and then re-frame what you don’t like into a starting point for achieving something better.
- Claim ownership and control of your life. – No one else is responsible for you. You are in full control of your life so long as you claim it and own it. Through the grapevine, you may have learned that you should blame your parents, your teachers, your mentors, the education system, the government, etc., but never to blame yourself. Right? It’s never, ever your fault… WRONG! Your life is your responsibility! If you want to change, if you want to let go and move on with your life, you’re the only person who can make it happen.
- Focus inward. – It’s important to make a difference in the world. Yes, it’s important to help people, but you have to start with yourself. If you’re looking outside yourself to find where you fit in or how you can create an impact, stop and look inside yourself instead. Review who you already are, the lifestyle you’re currently living, and what makes you feel alive. Then nurture these things and make positive adjustments until your current life can no longer contain them, forcing you to grow and move beyond your current circumstances.
- Change the people around you. – Some people come into your life just to strengthen you, so you can move on without them. They are supposed to be part of your memory, not your destiny. The bottom line is that when you have to start compromising your happiness and your potential for the people around you, it’s time to change the people around you. It’s time to join local meet-ups, attend conferences, network online, and find a more supportive tribe.
- Take a chance. – When life sets you up with a challenge, there’s a reason for it; it’s meant to test your courage and willingness to make a change and take a chance on something new. There’s no point in denying that things are different now, or being fearful of the next step. The challenge will not wait even if you hesitate. Life only moves in one direction – forward. This challenge is your chance to let go of the old and make way for the new. Your destiny awaits your decision. (Read The Untethered Soul.)
- Focus on today. – You can decide right now that negative experiences from your past will not predict your future. Figure out what the next positive step is, no matter how small or difficult, and take it. Ultimately, the only thing you can ever really do is to keep moving forward. Take that leap without hesitation, without looking back. Simply forget the past, look straight ahead and forge toward the future.
The floor is yours…
What are you holding on to that’s holding you back? What’s the first step you need to take to let it go? Share your thoughts with us by leaving a comment below.
Photo by: Hartwig HKD
Just thank you………for all that you write. You create hope and offer inspiration for this amazing and blessed journey called life.
What a beautifully written piece on letting go, moving on, and taking control of your own happiness. Stumbled upon your blog doing a general search about finding strength in leaving something you know in your heart is not right. I have to say, your words echo what most minds and hearts tell us, yet we push away when torn. Bravo and thank you for clarity in this simple but powerful piece!
Leanna Dinwiddie says
Thank you so much for your wisdom and sharing!
I agree as well. I just broke up with my-Ex 4 months ago. My heart aches everytime I think about her. I understand after reading this beautiful article that LOVE is truly a “drug”. I am still learning to love myself more and letting her go. Love is beautiful , love is painful but that’s love , haha !
I wish anyone who’s reading this article a great life and love yourself. Learn to commit yourself before others because that way you will learn to appreciate life better.
Thank you for this article. I’m having problems with a woman who is supposed to be my boyfriend’s best friend, but she seems to just live to make my life painful. I have a hard time letting go. This article has inspired me to take hold of my own life and get the help I need so I can let go and move on.
hi, I’m facing the very same problem too. but you won’t believe it. I’m letting it go, so I can move on with life
Shubham Dwivedi says
Such a nice article!
It’s been a long journey to this current place in my life where I am seeing with new clarity that the key to my happiness is living each day from my own truth. Overcoming years of being a people pleaser and giving up my own power has given me the insight that living your own truth really does set you free. BUT….my biggest challenge was overcoming the people in my life that wanted to pin me to my old ways and not let me forget my past. I still get very tired of going through this ritual in conversations of listening to them tell me how I was. I walk away carrying a very heavy layer of negative sludge. I wear it for a few days. I am aware of it but it takes time to work it off. Thanks Marc and Angel for this article. It brought me so much enlightenment and comfort in reconnecting with my present truth. I love your book. I keep it on my coffee table and reach for it daily. I appreciate your journey.
Wow! This article really resonated with me. I have been on a quest to move on for well over 10 years now. Unfortunately, I grew up in a very negative and angry family. I met a wonderful man and we quickly got married, but my old family turned on me. They were so hurtful towards me and said so many cruel things. It took me aback because I hadn’t done anything except find a loving person to spend my life with. I cried a lot. I worried a lot. I prayed a lot. I realized that their jealousy was rampant because I was happy, and that if I didn’t choose to engage in gossip and belittling of others with them, they had no use for me. With God’s and my husband’s help, I am learning to let it go. It’s really difficult because my mother is so negative and harbors so much anger. I never know what will set her off and she has managed to ruin relationships with immediate family. I still feel compelled to look after her and converse with her (even though it harms me) because she is my mother. Sometimes we just need to move forward and let go of the past to protect the future generations and give them the loving example of our Heavenly Father.
I have been encountering this kind of thing for years now, involving my mother AND children. This weekend was extremely rough for me, and am at the point of needing to let go, but being that it’s immediate family, I am torn.
Am wondering though, do you still have contact with your immediate family, and how is it all going, either way?
Thank you for your input.
The less I talk to my sister the better. No anger, hate or hurt can come. The past is the past, think kind thoughts of what was. It take years to realize, it’s ok to be different. No need to rehash , just move on! I’m cool with my decision?
Thank you so much for this very nice article.
May God bless you always!
Well, it has been a year since that first downfall happened that I cannot let go of it. That is why I took the decision to search and read articles in the net and it happened that I read yours (this).
I always thought that maybe I needed time to wait for that someone but the longer I wait the more painful it may seem. So I really thank you about this article.
Moreover, I’m not really a person doing comments or responses to articles nor really a fanatic one to read articles yet if I may say, this is a good start though.
As a Christian I believe that I need to read and listen to the teachings of God which is in the Bible to relieve my situation but perhaps God painted something around, and made you His instrument to enlighten people whose life lives in the past and whose future is so glaring.
May you continue to inspire others!
Ritu Chowdhary says
This is what I needed right now…Thank you so much!!
I realized no one but we ourselves can make us free!! We cannot give the power to make us feel a certain way, we cannot allow others to drive us. I need to take responsibility of my own actions.
Thank you again.
This is great advice for moving forward, it is very difficult when you are in a situation where the paths you wish to take to move yourself on are blocked by those trying to bring you down. For example, during my time at university I tried to move forwards from bullies who continued to block my every move, through facebook stalking and rumour spreading, even to my academic staff. I felt completely trapped in this situation, and all my confidence had been undermined….which of course was the aim of this vicious behaviour.
I’m gonna do this. Your advice and article is really good, nice. I’ve been depressed for days but this article gave me a hope. To live my life to the fullest with or without him.
Wow this article really helps me a lot, in fact I was so connected while reading it, it’s been 6years from since that traumatic heart experienced happen and now I can completely said that I was totally overcome with it..it’s not that easy when I look back the past I couldn’t imagine how I survive. But after a long 6years here I am again fall in love with a wrong person. For me he is my ideal man,.. a man of my dreams a man who could simply make me feel happy and give smile on my face even by simply thinking of him. But sad to know that he was no longer free, I was so stupid to let myself believe that everything’s will be alright…that there is “someday” for us I keep on believing that fools reality. In myself I know it wasn’t right so I decided to stop this craziness that I feel even though it will cause to much pain.,.. I need to let go of things that makes me feel sad. And thank you so much for I found,…..this article it really a big help..God bless
i realy feel u… ive also been believing on a someday with a taken man its really hurting me deep…but i guess its about time…holding on is causing me so much pain and letting go is much worse
Really really thank you for this article.. I’ve been stressed for three years but this article gave me a hope. To live my life with or without him…from now I won’t sacrifice with my life for him… This article helps me to move on such things that makes me feel sad…
Karen Marsh says
Thank you for this reminder, I am a domestic violence counsellor and have been struggling for years under the stress of an under resourced organisation and being placed in the role of management and trying to fit!
With high blood pressure and burn out I have struggled on to meet client needs and organisational demands as well as working in system that mirrors the crisis and chaos so many clients face!!
Reading your article helped remind me of the things I know and tell others but that I am not really practicing in my own life! I have resigned from my job after 13 years, and will NOW work through the process of ‘Letting Go”
Thank you 🙂
I am finding it so difficult to let go, so am pleased to have found this article at a time when I need support to reflect and learn to move on.
rankin finitto says
I have to move on from an association that has been abusive on my part. I have been assaulted twice for deeds my elder brother did and am afraid that the scenario may replay again. I even thought of suicide but the world is not at fault, I am at fault and I have to make changes… I hope it’s not too late to do so.
I have been in denial for ten years thinking the father of my children will marry me and be a family together in the same house. For the past three years he haven’t taking me out, no birthday present, no holiday gift, ,and he want invited me to his home. Pain is killing me inside holding on to a man that don’t want my love. Thank you for helping me to realize I don’t have to depend on someone to live a happy life.
This breaks my heart. I spent 18 years with my children’s father waiting for a proposal. It never came and I finally had the courage to ask him to move out of my home 5 years ago. I won’t lie, it has been rough. It does get better though! Much to my surprise, I am better off financially, physically and mentally. I am finally starting to realize my worth, how strong I am. He told me I would be nothing without him. That I would fail. I did not! You won’t either sweetie!
Dear Marc and Angel, I normally don’t leave a comment to a public site, but I’ve been meaning to tell you both that your blogs are a godsend to many of us! I realize it more and more that when I’m struggling with something at the moment, yor post the right, positive and encouraging words just in the perfect time! I am also noticing that others do feel the same about it! Thank you both for what you do to help so many of us, It’s very much so appreciated!
Allyn :) says
A helpful article. Thank you!
Thanks. I know what is holding me back. And I’m pretty sure it will not have a value in my future. It is my falut and i need to correct it now. Therefore, your article can help me to move on from it. I hope I will have all strength to do so…
Thanks for this! I love your posts!
I wonder if you or anyone has practical tips for how to “let go” when you physically can’t? I’m in a job situation where I’m not able to move on at the moment, but it’s very toxic. I’m not sure how to stay sane amidst the chaos.
Glenda Kramer says
Was wondering some advice on something. I was adopted, I am 47 years old and recently within the last year I have realized that my adoptive family are somewhat toxic and distanced myself from them with only an occasional card or text. The thing is when I speak to them, my anxiety level goes through the roof and I dread any contact with them, and I am finally figuring out why. They are very nosy and critical and go behind my back to find out things about me and my goings on. My husband and I have been married for 28 years and of course have had minor ups and downs but my family, espcially my mother, is very critical of my husband and also my sisters husband and weve always blown it off and i just can’t anymore. When I try to voice my concerns they throw it back on me. It has gotten worse since I distanced myself and they still feel like I am in the wrong. The funny part is, Im happier without them. Is that wrong?
I’ve had to put up really strong boundaries with my family. I have an older sister who has caused a lot of drama in our lives. At 40 she is still living with my parents who’s is trying to parent her teenage daughter as well. Unfortunately I’ve had to pull back from visiting my parents as I couldn’t control what my sister might do or say if she saw me. We are not on speaking terms. I realised that this was the only way I could move on with my life. I still sometimes morn the loss of a sister when I see other sisters doing stuff together, but realising that I have a beautiful daughter who I can build a relationship with is a definite plus in my life.
Garth jr says
I really just want to thank you for providing this article. Its given me a sense of hope in moving on and letting go of my traumatic pass. Im currently trying to find peace within myself so i can continue my walk in life and have the future i deserve.
I’m struggling. I know I need to move forward. My mind won’t stop, I feel it’s and oppsetion of negativity and hopeless wishes he would follow through and be honest with me. When after 10 years, nothing has changed, still broken, still hopeful, still everything wrong. We are getting a divorce, but I can’t stand the thought of him being with someone else and fulfilling our dreams with someone else, that he promised me, time and time again. I am in a vicious circle and a down ward spiral, out of control of bitterness and brokenness. I am trying so hard. Some good days and a lot of bad days. It’s taking its toll on me emotionally, mentally and physically.
I had a girlfriend….. she loved me. I took that love for granted and wasn’t serious about her. Its not like i was cheating on her, No. I just didnt loved her same way she loved me. I was a dramaboy hahaha…. playing hard to get close to…. i gave her a very hard time for a long period. Couldn’t wait for a chance to start a quarrel and make her begging for my love.
I was rude, very rude to her. But eventually i figured out why am I behaving like this to her. She is a human and she loves me dearly… Eventully i started having feelings for her. Started to develop sweet feelings towards her, but as it is said it was ‘too little too late’ the moment i developde true feelings for her and started loving her with all of my heart the table turned…. pushing her away for a long time now she got used to it and decided to back off.
I was hurted, she didnt loved me anymore. I spent my days crying very much begging for her love she been rude with a cold heart .
It was tough time if my life cause then i was loving her truly.
But now i am grateful to almighty Lord i have moved on.
SHE WAS A TEACHER BY EXPERIENCE AND I LEARNED MY LESSON.
Thank you for your words. I am struggling with a husband who is nothing like he used to be. Married 21 years, 2 kids. He was amazing for so many years. The best dad, and husband, but for the last 5 has been emotionally abusive cheated, and frankly mean. He’s nice one week, then cruel the next. He has pulled me into a hole I find very hard to pull out of. Trying to live his new life with him to avoid conflict. Drinking, gambling, not being the mom I used to be. He doesn’t want change, but I desperately do. But at what cost? I have to let him go to move on, he doesn’t want to change. He was an awesome dad, but now is a horrible role model and a horrible husband spending many nights at the bar til the wee hours of the morning. I need to let go. It feels almost impossible, but your words tell me what I need to do. Thank you!!!!
Your article is uplifting…have chosen a solo life having experienced a difficult divorce and left desolate …but I had the pleasure of bringing up a beautiful daughter who is now a professional, married and I recently had the joy of witnessing the birth of a lovely grandson…but what a gift since I experienced near death thru cancer just before the birth of my grandson… My daughter uplifting me thru each chémo and radio phase…she and her husband didn’t want me to let go…and Life is a Journey…filled with rays..there is sunshine…reach out, no matter how bleak it seems…la vie est parfumé …
Tania Lennartz says
I stumbled upon your blog when I was looking for inspiration on how to move forward from a friendship that fell apart. You see I have a friend that I’ve known since we were in kindergarten. The last 3 years we had reconnected and became extremely close, like family actually. My kids even came to know her as an Auntie. She has had a rough go of life in the last 3 years as well and over time has become increasingly angry and rage filled. A month and a half ago she had a breakdown, involving threatened self harm and a whole chaotic event of police involvement. Thus consequences arose threatening her career in law enforcement and the trickle down effect as such. In turn I put my life on hold for a month and did everything in my power everyday to help her. It was exhausting and scary but I did it and wanted her well again. Once settled back into her home I continued to help. Until one day her request for a renovation consisted of numerous angry outbursts as things didn’t go her way. I knew this to be apart of her personality but as of late it had been so much more elevated. It all came crashing down when a simple common mishap from my 3 and 5 year old (they tangled her cord on her blinds when left to their own devices on and off for the day of renos) resulted in her verbally attacking them and me and completely losing her composure. My mama bear came out, as I’m sure did the mounting exhaustion of my helping over the last month and a huge HUGE argument ensued. We haven’t spoken since. I’ve attempted once at conversation and was ignored. I am a nurturer, I like to have things nice and fixed and happy. I can’t fix this and it’s tearing me up. Reading your blog above makes so much sense. I just hope I can figure out how to apply it.
Hi. The hardest thing for me to do is to let go because of the fear that I am feeling right now, fear of being alone, fear of not being loved from anyone. I knew that he doesn’t love me anymore but I can’t let him go.. I love him so much.
Thank u. Am having problem letting go and accepting changes right now. The pain just wont go away, these points somehow helps ease the pain am feeling and understand things out. In time i know i can let go and move on.
Saeedullah Khan says
To live and love this moment which is the PRESENT. The preceding moment is PAST and only for the recollection and wisely use of the experiences of it. The forthcoming moment is FUTURE which is a hope and we are not permitted to control it anyways.
Thanks for the splendid article on Let it Go.
this article is so nice! i really need to move on. yesterday, my boyfriend broke up with me. i even tried to talk to him personally to fix our relationship. he keeps on blaming me why he decided to let me go. i was crying in front of him and he even wanted me leave. today, i tried to talk to him but it did not succeed. he even destroyed in front of me those gifts that i gave him. he even pushed me away so that i could leave him. i guess God wants me to realize that i deserved to be respected. that was the time i figured out that i should let go and move on with my life. there are beautiful things ahead of me. i should not dwell on him anymore. it’s about time spend it with people who truly appreciates me. thanks for this article.
Hmm. I can’t find the balance. My husband is chronically ill and won’t do anything to make it better when he could turn it around. He is slowly losing his self. He has become so negative, hateful towards people, doesn’t want anyone around, and is pressuring me to quit doing all the things that I do in my life outside of being with him.
He loves me dearly, and I promised “Til death do us part”. I love the parts of him that are still there. But this excruciatingly long death march is affecting me so that my health is starting to suffer. I used to be OK with just changing the way I thought about this, keeping my own optimistic viewpoint and active life to some degree, and felt pretty good. Now I am stuck somehow. Can’t seem to figure out where to turn. But I do know it’s somewhere in this Letting Go and letting life Flow.
Feeling lost but hopeful for the future.
I consistently feel like their is a dark cloud over me. Like I’m always playing catch-up and then something else knocks me back down. Or I keep waiting for my next life moment to happen and it doesn’t, meanwhile everyone around me is getting their moments; engagements, weddings, babies, buying a house, new cars, etc. I am happy for them, but I feel so jealous and sad on the inside. Like when is it my turn to be happy. And I realized the other day that I can’t wait for someone else or something to make me happy, it’s up to me to do that and be happy with where I am in life.
My expectations are so high for myself and for others, that I usually let myself down and feel so disappointed in others when they don’t live up to my expectations. I want to be happy. I don’t want to dwell on the negative things or the crappy people who continue to fuel my self sadness. I want to move on from those that have hurt me and learn to forgive even when I disagree.
Learning to live a more positive and forgiving life.
Sherrie Small says
I just wanted to say thank you for all of your information that you put out there, it is really inspiring and helps me to see things in a much better light. I have a friend and I was in a relationship with him for two years, and we have remained very close friends for 3 almost 4 years. He has become a habit, but is not honest with his personal life all the time, and I am. It hurts, so I’m slowly getting away from him by not talking to him on a consistent basis and just moving on with my life because I know I need to break this cycle in order to see what life has to offer in the future, relationship-wise. it’s just very hard for me to connect with anybody on an intimate basis so he was my go-to for that; it’s not good because we are just friends without any sexual relations, but it’s very hard because I can lean on him to talk to for anything, an he can lean on me to talk to but he is not honest at times. I know I have to break off of this n order to meet that right person in my life for everything that I want in a person as my mate.
Eve Marshal says
I am very thankful to this article of yours, it gives me new insight about my current situation.. I have living in pain in my entire life… always escape from accepting the truth of who and what I am… I’m just an ordinary woman who always choose what I think and believed what is right to do… Not realizing.. that I’m hurting my own self deeply from what I thought is right. I’m living myself with great confusion seeking for an answer why I became like this? And until now, I just don’t understand why I need to suffer in this situation. I know deeply within myself that this is not my choice.. I am trap for something I don’t like… I want to escape from it… But, I can’t find a way how to do it. Realizing the truth.. that we cannot get all the things that we want. And now.. I’m trying to believe in myself that Love is not meant for me. It can never be will… My situation forbid me to LOVE.. And I cried why I can’t be LOVED and be LOVED? I should be happy if I free to love…. It brought massive pain and emotional torture whenever I try to pursue it. And I’m tired for it.. So I’m Letting it go and accept that LOVE is not for me. I know I’m not deserve this… but I’m giving up this to God and I’m surrender. I hope I may find happiness in my life.
My big problem is that I am having trouble accepting the fact that certain people I used to enjoy spending time with, and certain experiences, etc. are probably over permanently and will never happen again and I miss those times and those people. I have tried reaching out to people to get together and make new fun experiences, and it never happened (and probably just made me feel worse).
Then I think “why did I make such lousy friends? is there something wrong with me and my choices, etc.?”
What are good strategies for getting over things that made you happy? Finding new things? I do have new things but I can’t help thinking about the fun times from not long ago and wanting them again.
Thank you for this article. I’m still depressed since my boyfriend broke up with me 2 weeks ago. And it’s like I’m lost without him in my life. I thought he was the one for me. But I was wrong. He’s currently happy with his new girl. And it killed me inside. But as i read your article, i realized that i still have a chance to be okay and be happy without him. It may take a long process to moving on, but I know someday, I will get there. Maybe we’re not really meant for each other. And I deserve to be happy someday with someone who knows my worth. Thank you again.
Thank you! its inspiring.
I have taken a long journey in my life, since the day I met this guy I lived the most important and loving adventure of my life, he gave me the power to end many things in my life that were not making me happy, then after a few months I left home to travel to the most wonderful experience of my life, spent the most amazing time with him, discover places and felt deeply in love with him.
We lived together then one day he changed, he was not the same.
I tried so hard to be with him, i beg him to spend time with me, i asked him to not leave me alone, i wanted him to be there with me in all the things I have accomplished for myself, one by one my life was right on track but he wasnt there, he was gone, he turned his back, he left me… It was very hard because I took this journey hoping that he was the one, and the love I felt with him was something never experienced before, it was pure, adventurous, kind, and my heart felt so right beside him, my heart still feels he is the man I always dream of… But my head is clear that he doesnt deserve me, he never did, he played and fooled me, lied and made me feel so bad and lonely… So now I am moving on, he asked me to dissappear and so I will, it has been hard because I miss him, because I wish he was there to talk to me, to share with me, to laugh and hug when things are going bad but he is no longer there. I beg him until the last minute but I want to make his wish come true, I want to forget all of this, and the pain that is causing me.
I have been doing my life, I am trying everyday to move on, i meet new people, make new friends, date a new guy (this lat one didnt feel right to do)… Thanks to all this I know what I want in life, and I have accomplished many things in a very short time, I have set my goals, and i am on the right track. It is okay to miss him and to sometimes feel like I want to hold him one last time, but i keep looking up, no turning back and knowing that I deserve better than that, because I learnt to love myself, to feel proud of myself for how far and well i am doing and to realize that he will miss seen me growing. I feel fearless and no doubt in my heart where I belong and that this adventure is only mine….
I dont think dating is the best thing to do when you are trying to move on because it doesnt help giving hopes to someone who might end up wanting to spend time with you. date yourself, treat yourself to dinner, movies, enjoy the beauty of life and heal, find meaning and try to be happy with little things.
Thanks for the article cause i think now I might be able to move on with my life by stopping holding things that I can’t change.
I googled the subject of “moving on” and your page popped up. Wow! Just what I needed. It’s keeping me on the forward path, and I’m not looking back. Thank you for every word written, and I have much clarity now and more strength to move on and stay focused. Thank you!
Thanks for the wonderful article. It made me feel alive again.
It rightfully said, that we need to accept the facts, and focus on what only has changed. Whether it be career, or life itself. Some people are only meant to strengthen you, not be with you forever. Its better to move on and lead a happier life rather than clinging to the past which cannot be changed. Have the courage to face the good and bad in all situations. Take the initiative, bloom where you’re planted.
Donel Butler says
Thank you for this life changing advice. For a while now. For a long while now, almost 4 years to be exact, I have been holding on to things I should have let go of a long time ago. In my effort and long journey to be free, I have made my parents look like fools, I made my boyfriend look like a fool, and I have made myself look like the fool. I use to lie about being on drugs and being raped. Fortunately, I have stopped that and choose the path for freedom. And I struggle with Movign Forward. But I am done with my complaining. Life is amazing! Looking at the snow gave me hope and Joy. I have an incredible boyfriend. Soon to be husband one day if I play my cards right. No longer will I let my past transgressions WIth myself ruin my chances of a fulfilling life. Life begins today!!!!
I’ve held onto fear at the detriment of a new relationship that started this year. I apologized for my behavior but I’m sure he is tired of my actions (making accusations and not being completely honest about my feelings). I know it’s time to let go and move forward but I’m not doing a great job with being hurt in my past.
Maricel Bongo says
This is very timely. I am at the point of holding on from my past while trying to move forward. I know I should learn to let go and keep moving. I have always wished to stay from the memory and hopefully see it again in the future, but I know it will never be the same again. Your past will never become your future. Accept, forgive and forget. I hope it’s as easy as a blink of an eye. But it’s harder than I thought. But at the end of the day, it’s what we choose that matters. And I choose to be happy. And being happy means letting go and move forward without looking back.
QUEENIE FABRICANTE says
I’m actually in a hard situation right now. I am caught between holding on or letting go. It was very hard to let go of someone you’ve love so much more. I fight so far for this relationship to work but I always feel alone. I’m still on the process of healing but I don’t know how to start. Thank you for this article.
Leslie Albright says
Just yesterday I said good bye to someone I didn’t want to say goodbye to. I love her very much. But there in lies the very essence of what you have been conveying here. She doesn’t have the same feelings for me as I do for her. And as of now, yesterdays exchange was in the midst of some pretty fresh emotions. We try to be respectful and kind in the moment. But the situation was at it’s pinnacle and hence, it’s understandable that communication would be at a heightened state. Having had a nights sleep, I know now that I will message her and express my heartfelt sense of things in a kinder and calmer manner. But this does not change the actuality of the need to move on. I can only hope that she feels and remembers the good things that we brought into each others lives. I am truly grateful for what she has brought into mine. She is the reason someone else is not hurting my heart anymore. I pined for this other girl for a very long time, and now because of knowing, I’ll call her Jennifer, I don’t hurt over the old relationship. Truly, a wonderful gift. I can now move on from here now too knowing that this is the reason I met her in the first place. Not to have her be my end all, but rather that we both brought each other gifts that Jesus intended for us to have. Once I could let go of the unrealistic dream of her and I till death do we part. Is now when I can start to heal the pain of losing the dream and getting back on the road to what is real. 🙂
Thank you for uplifting my spirit, I have invested a lot in my relationship and its about time that I accept the loss so that I can move on. I’m giving this situation to God…. and hoping to find true love, joy, peace and happiness in my life.
John Louie Orari says
I had my first job last 6 months ago. One of the things that I said during the interview when they asked me what will be the reason you leaving this job?
I abruptly said, ” I will consider leaving my job if I feel no happiness in what I do” .. moving forward 6 months.. tada! What are the odds
At first i felt like this sadness in the work, though it is stressfull but the people around me are really supportive, really honest and not cynical and I am very thankful of that. But as day progress so as the non-happy mood of mine.
They say maybe it’s because it’s my first job and I’m young. But I know myself, i know what i am capable of , and most special i know what I am good at.
I considered as well many things apart from the work itself before thinking of resigning. I thought about my family, colleagues, my boss’s and the salary as well ( my job though pays a lot ) but the happiness that I am looking for and found before is not anymore visible today.
Many had happened, opportunities started to raise and so as the demands. At this point of my life I can say that I do experience the mid life crisis – thunking about what. You really want to do apart from the things i feel towards the job but who am I to judge though.
What I learned about reading this article is that lesrt to step back once in a while and learn to see all the learnings I’ve gathered through this journey and be thankful. Learn to step forward without hesitation for it will cause you to grunge on your past.
Thank you 🙂
Inam ullah says
Not only the article is great but the readers who shared great information in comments are also awesome. I spend an hour reading comments here.
this article about letting go helped me in more ways than I ever before thought possible, I Myself went through the worst stages of depression but today with the insight of knowing that some things are just meant to stay a mystery (Eg. Watching a movie for the first time with someone who has already seen said movie and always hearing what happens next, isn’t as exciting as watching it with someone who themselves never seen it, You lose interest, because of him/her constantly emphasizing the upcoming happenings in a given scene or completing an actors sentence before he/she had said it; makes the point of why? or the punch! in the line not as appealing or surprising and does not allow the viewer the emotion the writer of the script was initially going to accomplish in making them experience in their own way what he/she did when constructing the visual interpretation of given scene portrayed on the screenplay ; This creates interest and anticipation in whatever scene is playing at that given time that got you hyped and experiencing great expression of emotion together; hence the phrase “There’s a first time for everything”.) to take everyday with a pinch of salt and to never wallow in what happened in the past but to just be relaxed but not negligent towards the lies, yet never ask why and overall patiently await what the future of tomorrow holds and the blessings that come along with it but most importantly next time a situation presents itself (whatever it may be) I know which way to approach it.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR THE INSPIRING ARTICLE!!!