“Listen to the mustn’ts, child. Listen to the don’ts. Listen to the shouldn’ts, the impossibles, the won’ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me… Anything can happen, child. Anything can be.”
NOTE: This post has been updated with new information and moved to here:
4 Reasons You Need to Keep Doing Hard Things to Be Happy, Healthy and Successful
Photo by: Jake Bellucci
Great post. I had shoulder surgery 4 months ago and am trying to keep up an exercise regimen even though I have quite a bit of pain in the shoulder. Your post gives me inspiration, motivation and hope. One of my mantras is: “The pain you suffer today becomes the strength you have tomorrow.” Again, thanks for this post. I read them all. Your site is one of the Internet’s high points.
Jo Casey says
Lovely post. The phrase that gets me through tough times is:
“This too shall pass”
It reminds me that I have been through tough times before and survived, that things get better and that this won’t last either. It also reminds me to enjoy the good times and be in the moment so I can enjoy them to the fullest.
I go to the sea when I am overwhelmed.
But I am often afraid to fight for what I want and let my dreams and wishes be subsumed by others – this post has reminded me to fight for my deepest dreams and not always compromise. Thank you.
Marc, besides for the air at dawn, You are the inspiration that keeps this community believing it is possible to hold on.
I just came across this great video.
I enjoyed this article, as I do with most on your site.
I’ve been feeling anxious and on edge for some time now, having recovered from burnout a couple of years ago. Unfotunately, work seems to be the root of my stress, with me never quite able to pinpoint why I feel so out of esteem. The dilemma for me is this: work at a job that provides a good income but makes me crazy, or significantly reduce the income but find something that feeds my spirit?
It is something that I continue to ponder…
Marc Chernoff says
@Braja Patnaik: Angel can completely relate, she ran a half marathon recently. On race day you’ll be so happy you trained and overwhelmed with a sense of accomplishment. Baby steps, you’re doing great!
@Andrea: It really is all about action – small steps. Start with this list and choose a 1-3 to start checking off over the next 30 days: https://www.marcandangel.com/2011/12/25/30-challenges-for-30-days-of-growth/
@Amandah: Love the attitude and honesty; thank you!
@Nancy: Very true. =)
@Dawn: You are incredible!
@Jen: Great advice and feedback. Your input is greatly appreciated!
@Suzanne: It’s inspiring to hear that you are holding on and being strong. Your willingness to share your pain and vulnerability leaves me speechless. Please stay strong. If it gets worse, please speak to a professional.
@All: Remember, you are not a robot. There is no shame in admitting to yourself that you feel tired, doubtful, and low. The simple fact that you are aware of this means you are able to turn things around. Take time to rest, breathe and then continue to take action – even if it’s a baby step, it’s progress.
Cameron Chardukian says
#1 is completely true. Pain is temporary! Pain is weakness leaving the body!
Carolynn Varner says
I think this is very informative and helpful advice.
Thank you for this! I’m doing something right now (unpaid internship – that’s how it goes for new graduates nowadays unfortunately) that I need to get me where I want to be in life, but it’s a year of unpaid hard labour that never gets explained to me (beyond ‘___ needs doing’ said to a third party by a boss that never even so much as looks at me, let alone tells me anything directly) all day every day with people who are unhelpful, obviously hate where they are themselves and don’t like me/appreciate me/even acknowledge I exist (plus I’m tied up applying for jobs in my limited free time so I don’t sleep enough)… It’s been 4 months and today I called in sick because I just couldn’t face it any more. I’ve never done that before for anything. I feel so guilty but I feel so heavy – I slept for 12 hours. Yes, I am going to hold on, but only for another month, and then if it’s still making me feel this low, then you’re right. It is OK to let go. I want to get somewhere in life, but seriously, there must be another way.
Linda Hyams says
This post was just right for today. Feeling a little overwhelmed with medical issues and stress at work. It is good to be reminded that it’s just a speed bump. It will pass. Your messages always seem to come when I most need them and I share them with all the people I care about.
Thank you for this reading, Marc. It felt like you were speaking directly with me, since my world
felt or feels like it’s been collapsing since April. I have yet to find that one trusted person to share and tell all. I called a talk crisis hotline bc I felt like I was going crazy bc so many life events, hurt, sorrow, grieving, you name it. Unfortunately, my family is part of my stress and provide no emotional support since they keep telling me that they want to listen and when I have tried, they just tell me to “suck it up”. I cry everyday in shower and try each day to find joy. My perfect storm keeps swirling and I keep hoping that I can be out from it one day at a time.
Yes, I know I’m stressed. Yes, I know I beat odds but when external factors are keeping my life gripped & I feel ripped … well this year makes a sick waste of effort I don’t know what to do anymore. Nobody is as hyper vigilant about advocating for themselves & changing the situation, & I believe if any effort was correct it would fall into place. So I’m feeling the rejection of not belonging anywhere… not a career minded job, not an in the mean time job, poverty in a city setting is exhausting – no quality in surviving. I know I have a future & I am so greatful every day for the things I do have but extremes are taking their toll.
Lee Davy says
Shamsa Lootah says
Thank you for this post, I cannot express how much I needed this right now 🙂
Maggie Z says
I am moved by every article every mail I receive that is almost always bang on when i need it the most. I keep telling
myself to never give up , but given certain actions that speak to me makes me feel that I’m losing the battle! One can only get slapped in the face with negative thoughts or so long that you start thinking why am I being so stupid trying to win someone’s love ! That is something one should not have to battle for,,, it should happen naturally . It can’t be one sided , it takes two to dance the dance
Brandon Villano says
Without struggle how could we ever truly appreciate pleasure?
When I used to get down on myself I would try to reject it and tell myself that I shouldn’t feel this way or that I’m wrong for it. That only made me feel worse because I was basically rejecting myself.
When I learned to accept the fact that I was just experiencing a normal human emotion again and that it was just temporary, I actually became less stressed.
The feeling actually subsides as soon as you become OK with it.