“Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it’s better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.”
?Marilyn Monroe
YOU, my friend, are undeniably, unquestionably, extraordinarily amazing and powerful!
Have you forgotten this already?
In case you’re stuck in a moment of temporary confusion, allow me to remind you of some truths you need to start telling yourself more often…
1. “I do not have to settle.”
Oh, how I love your fierceness, your undying drive, the sheer wildcat intensity with which you slink through the jungle like a creature of passion – a passion that lights you up and that rises from the center of your calmest, deepest, most grounded self.
I so love it how you refuse to settle – for less than your best, for less than you deserve, for less than what it is you were made to be and to have and to do.
You won’t settle for the work that makes you a living, without also balancing in a life that’s worth living. You won’t settle for the man or woman who keeps you warm at night, but who can’t see his or her way into the depths of your soul or the breadth of your heart. You won’t settle for giving less than everything to your work, to your play, to your loves, to your life.
In fact, if there’s one thing you will settle into in this lifetime, it’s the belief that the greatest risk is never to risk at all. And oh, how you’re willing to dare greatly – for passion, for connection, for the adventure of being alive.
I absolutely love it, you powerful, non-settling soul, you!
2. “I have great reasons to trust myself and the universe.”
You’ve come a far way – from listening to the expectations and the outer shoutings of the crowds, to learning to listen to your own inner compass and your own inner voice.
You know now that the first person to check in with, always, is your deepest, truest self, and she has never let you down. She knows when to say, “Yes please” and when to say “Heck no!”, when to lean in and when to let go. She knows when to strike hard, when to back off, and when to slow down and breathe.
In every instant, she knows exactly what you need and exactly what to do.
And you’ve learned to trust her.
But you’ve learned to trust others too. You know in whom to place your trust and how to let others in fully, deeply… completely. You’ve learned it can be safe to open and let yourself be seen and heard and loved for the magnificent person you are.
Lastly, you’ve learned to trust in this crazy nest-of-a-universe that holds you and to fully rest in its inevitable care. Storms will come in this lifetime, you know, but with time the rain and the rage and the shaking wind will subside into tranquility, and even the hardest of winters will soften into spring.
With everything inside you, without a fragment of doubt, you know this to be true.
Yes, I love the way that you’ve learned to trust – wholeheartedly, fiercely, deeply – in yourself, in others, and in the universe that holds you.
3. “My weirdness is one of my greatest strengths.”
That’s right; you got it: You are powerful because you’re such an unrivalled weirdo.
I love all those weird little things about you – the way you snort when you laugh, the way you rock those glasses with style, and how you shake it out on the dance floor like no one else is judging you.
I love the way you show up in the world: unapologetically, eccentric-ly, wholly yourself, because who you are is the one and only YOU.
I love your individuality. Please say you’ll never stop showing the world who YOU are.
4. “I can continue to let my struggles open me, and not close me.”
On the days you were betrayed – not once, not twice, but again and again and again – you still vowed to keep your heart open anyway.
You were mistreated, but you learned to love others anyway.
Life sucked sometimes, but you didn’t let it suck the life out of you.
Instead of closing, you opened.
Instead of hardening, you softened.
And when life hit you hard, you chose not to die, but to let yourself be born again.
You’ve chosen love over hate, compassion over indifference, and transformation over ruin. You are blossoming more and more every day, and I couldn’t be more proud of you.
5. “I am still here learning and trying, even after all my failures.”
The truly beautiful thing about you is the way you never let your failures get you down – at least, not for long.
Remember that time you fell face down in the mud?
You came back stronger than before. You remembered that, as the proverb goes, “Rome wasn’t built in a day,” and that, as Epictetus would say, “No great thing is created suddenly.”
You let your “failures” carve out your person like the insides of a canyon wall, creating something majestic and wondrous and breathtakingly beautiful. Instead of succumbing, you let them forge you into a person of strength and of character, humility and grace.
You aren’t one to be stopped – oh no, not you. You may have had failures in one sense of the word, but in another sense, you’ve always won. You’ve won because you failed to give up and you failed to give in. You kept rowing, reinventing, learning from your defeats and pushing harder each time. Your ability to persevere astounds me, and you do it with grace every time.
You, my friend, are stronger than you know.
6. “I am powerful simply because I am ALIVE right now.”
You, Sweet Honey Child, are worthy and valuable and mighty beyond measure simply because you were born into this world – simply because you breathe – simply because you are right here, right now.
You were IT from the very instant you were born into this weird, unfathomable, joyful and painful experience called “life”: Worthy. Valuable. Magnificent. Infinitely loved.
You were IT at your highest. You were IT at your lowest. You still are IT. You are simply, purely, unquestionably, unconditionally, a ridiculously powerful human being.
It doesn’t matter who you are to others or whether you believe this to be true. It doesn’t matter what you look like, where you live, or what you’ve done in the past. It doesn’t matter what anybody else tells you (or what you tell yourself, for that matter). Look me in the eyes, Wonder Woman/Superman. You are the song in my heart, the whisper on my lips. The reason life has meaning.
You are IT!
Your turn…
What do you need to start telling yourself more often? What is one powerful, positive truth about YOU that you sometimes forget? Please leave a comment below and share your thoughts.
Author Bio: Therese Schwenkler is the Founder, CEO, and Marketer of truth at TheUnlost.com, today’s go-to source for non-sucky advice on life, love and work. Click here for a special Unlost mystery gift just for you… I just know you’re gonna love it!
Vincent says
I would have to say either 3 or 4 are truths that I need to remember. Number three is what I struggle the most with at the moment. When I was a kid, I used to worry about how different I was. I wanted more than anything to fit in.
Unfortunately, some of that had leaked in and stayed until today. I’m much better at getting rid of it, but it’s still there.
Patricia says
I am a smart, capable, successful mom, wife, and business owner. When days get tough I sometimes forget this. Thank you for reminding me that I need to tell myself this more often.
Josh Lipovetsky says
An awesome post from the lovely Therese Schwenkler! I loved the 2nd person perspective here. Very loving article 🙂
Dev says
This post reminds me that I don’t give myself enough credit for my successes. I’m way too hard on myself. It’s time to change my self-talk. Thanks for the kick.
Christy King says
I love number 3! Life is so much easier now that I’ve realized other people LIKE the ways I’m weird.
C says
Brilliant. Positive thinking is exponentially important. These truths are valuable, powerful, & thought provoking. Think I may incorporate them into counseling tools!
Marc says
Thanks for doing what you are doing with this blog. Every post is wonderful.
Meme says
Loved no. 4&5. Relates to what in going through right now I needed to read this!
barney says
Excellent perspective with thoughts and ideas that are often overlooked. Self talk determines many things and this will bring some good stuff. Thank you Theresa.
Steve says
Can you please clarify this line for me:
“You won’t settle for the man or woman who keeps you warm at night, but who can’t see his or her way into the depths of your soul or the breadth of your heart.”
Shabana says
I keep tending to forget that I have, within myself, all the courage I need to face my problems. I need to keep reminding myself of that.
Davis Nguyen says
I agree with Vincent that 3 and 4 are two questions I should remind myself right now.
Between school and everything else in my life, small mistakes will happen and sturggles will arise, but as they have in past, they have only made me stronger.
Amandah says
I need to start telling myself that people are old enough to live their own lives. If they make mistakes, even major ones, it’s their problem. They know where to find me if they want and need my help. I also need to remind myself that I AM not responsible for anyone else. I am responsible for me. Finally, I need to remind myself that I cannot control others, but I can control my actions, beliefs, and thoughts.
The one powerful, positive truth about me that I sometimes forget is that I AM not afraid to take risks, no matter how many times they don’t pay off. I still take a chance.
Lois says
Simply beautiful! Thank you so much for this brilliant telling of truths that apply to all of us. I’m going to send this to several friends who need to read these words right now, today! Blessings!
Greg says
As number 1 sometimes seems determined to define my life’s battle, I continually have to remind myself that “I can do anything.” Obviously I don’t mean in the literal sense. Hell, I can’t even roller-skate. But I do believe that If I can keep my head clear and my focus on the next step on the path instead of mirages on the horizon, then I can and will get to where I’m supposed to be…and arrive there as my most authentic self.
Doubt looms constant, but I know I can do anything. Thanks again for such a positive post. I hope to someday not need them so damn much. Happy Wednesday.
Helene says
I so much needed this- Thank you!
Holly Wolf says
I will take action on something TODAY. I will not wait and see if…I will take a first step, risk failure and not thinking through all the possibilities. But chances are, I will do more, enjoy more, celebrate more, love more because I do something.
Michelle W. says
Marc & Angel… I want you to know I truly love your blog! You by far have the best advice and the best guest posts around… words of wisdom on so many topics. Thank you for sharing with all of us!
Kathleen says
I don’t have to make apologies for being me! Thank you for opening my eyes.
Fran says
I try to always remember that if I begin to feel not worthy, to consider any kind of projection that the other person is having of me which might not be realistic, that we are *all* worthy no matter our treads of the past. We let our worst selves come to the forefront when we begin to believe another person’s idealistic image of who they think we are supposed to be. We truly are good enough. And can continue to learn to be even better…
David Rapp says
What a wonderful post. There are many gems in the content here, and well delivered.
Laura says
Amazing post! I have been going through a rough couple of months and this website has provided great therapy for me. I cried when I read this and then smiled. Thanks for putting me in a better frame of mind and starting my day off on the right foot!
Melissa Webster says
I love you guys. Beautiful post. Thanks for this.
Michelle says
This is a GREAT one today….
I have to remind myself that I am worthy of a true love. That my best quality is my big heart willing to love almost everybody and that one of my best traits is seeing the good in each and every person I meet. Despite all the hurt and pain I have been through in the last year I can not close off my heart to everybody. You simply must look at every realtionship as a stepping stone and look at the good that it taught you. Take the good and yes even the pain and keep building that path to the right love. Someone to love me for all that I am and all that I have to offer. Sad to see that someone you love from the depth of your soul can be so blinded to see it too. But you can not make someone love you. All we can do is love ourself and know that GOD has bigger plans for us. I need to tell myself that I am worth and deserving of someone that can give me his ALL.
Jamie says
This is beautiful and timely. Sometimes we need the comfort of being reminded we are good, worthy and a beautiful human being. I try to do this with my two young sons. I never want them to feel they are not “good enough”. I love this website – thank you. Jamie
Dana says
This is the most amazing thing I’ve ever read at the most perfect moment. Xo
Ragnar says
I think people settle way too often. That’s actually my biggest fear in life, that I end up just settling before getting where I want.
I actually quit the first job I ever had today. Because I felt it wouldn’t work as a stepping stone towards the future I want. So reading that definitely helped.
2-6 is something I struggle with every single day, it can be hard to maintain a positive perspective sometimes, but it is definitely worth it in the end.
Thanks for the motivation! 🙂
abolade zakari says
Thanks for this article. Nothing sets us free more than the truth we say to ourselves. I believe self honesty is the beginning of a life full of happiness and genuine fulfillment.
Millie says
“I have been given so many gifts in life. All I need to do is put them to good use.”
I already have all the necessary tools to do whatever I want. All I need to do is make sure I don’t let them go to waste.
Eulene Johnson says
I belong to a 12-step program. I have heard in meetings that it is a selfish program. But, I choose to believe that it is a self-care program. And, the ladies in the program mean more to me than I could EVER HAVE IMAGINED.
And I love reading your blog each day, because it truly inspires my very soul!
Betsy says
I need to start telling myself that yes, I am worth it. No matter who thinks differently. I AM WORTH IT. It is so comforting to know that there are so many people that think the same way I do.
Another wonderful and so meaningful post. I love your blog, and have gotten so much positive feedback from reading them. Thank you both, and thanks to all the visitors who share.
Aiyana says
These are all good truths. I had a bad day today. First my mom’s boyfriend got upset over his teeth being thrown in the trash, then while work was productive, I forgot to bring my phone with me to my pharmacy like an idiot and I stupidly let my mom wait for over an hour because there was confusion over my prescription. I ended up getting it in the end, but I felt down. I know autism isn’t all bad, but it’s a curse. I always have to be aware of others feelings and time schedules. It’s frustrating! Why can’t I live a life on my own terms without disappointing anyone? People will never understand me.
Ramona says
Wonderful truths! I was only going to peek at it and come back to it when I had more time to digest it. However, I could not stop reading!
I need to tell myself “Don’t give up…You are almost there!”
Thanks for sharing.
Susan Cochran says
I LOVE THIS!! I am living this…and never realized it until now. Lots of tears reading this..and more compassion for ‘it’. Just h(it) me to my core…like God was speaking to me (I had asked him a few questions) and as always,the universe answers back. Thank you .
Therese says
@Vincent,
I think that there will always be some of “it” there — life is ultimately a process of working through one layer after another after another. And yes, keep reminding yourself about the beautiful weirdness that makes you YOU! 🙂
@Patricia,
Heck yes, you are!
@Josh Lipovetsky,
Why thank you, kind sir! It is loving indeed <3!
@Dev,
You’re welcome. And yes, you ARE worthy of credit!
@Christy King,
Don’t you love it how the more “weirdly authentic” you become, the more the right people seem to be attracted toward you? At least, that’s been my experience :).
Therese says
@C,
Thank you! Let us know how the counseling goes with these new “tools” under your belt :).
@Marc,
Thank you — Marc and Angel do have a great site, don’t they? 🙂
@Meme,
So glad!
@Barney,
Thank you kindly!
@Steve,
“You won’t settle for the man or woman who keeps you warm at night, but who can’t see his or her way into the depths of your soul or the breadth of your heart.”
The explanation behind this is explained in the story I linked to in this section. Basically, I won’t settle for someone who is just “there” but who cannot truly see my soul and engage in the deep relationship I desire.
Therese says
@Lois,
Thank you so much, lady! I hope your friends enjoy it too.
@Greg,
Happy Wednesday to you, too! And a thought… maybe it’s not so much about “needing” positive statements in order to “make things better” as much as it is about realizing that they already ARE true. They are simply reinforcements of what already is 🙂
@Helene,
You are welcome! xoxo
@Holly Wolf,
YES! I love this!!
@Kathlene,
Heck no, you don’t! We love you for just who you are! xx
Therese says
@Fran,
Yes. Truth.
@Jeff Ray, @David Rapp,
Thank you!
@Laura,
Aww, thank you so much! So glad to hear!
@Michelle,
This is beautiful and TRUE! Sending love your way! xx
@Jamie,
Your sons are very lucky! Thank you for the comment 🙂
Therese says
@Dana,
This is the best comment I’ve ever read. Thank you xx
@Ragnar,
Striving to secure work where we are continuously learning and stretching ourselves (and that is a stepping stone toward where we want to ultimately go) is important. Keep trucking! I trust you will find what you’re looking for– but don’t be afraid to start at the bottom!
@Millie,
You have that right! We already have everything we need… it’s so simple once it “clicks” in our minds and into our realities :).
@Eulene Johnson,
We cannot truly served others until we have first served ourselves. We cannot truly love others until we have first loved ourselves. There is nothing selfish about serving your own needs — ultimately, serving your own deepest needs will also serve the deepest needs of others. 😉
@Betsy,
Thank you. I am glad you’re getting lots of goodness from Marc & Angel’s blog!
@Aiyana,
It can be an alienating feeling to feel as if no one will ever understand you. Sending you thoughts of strength & love & deep holding. Hope you can feel ’em! <3
@Ramona,
Thank you! Don’t give up! <3 <3
@Susan Cochran,
It’s amazing how the universe answers back when you’re quiet enough to listen, isn’t it? 🙂 Thank you for your lovely comment!
Enas says
I am worth it and deserve the best.
I can do whatever I put myself up to.
I have all I need.
Steve says
Ah, ha, thanks Therese for clarifying … and agreed!
Asmaa Tarek says
This is certainly the sweetest and simpliest thing I had ever read on Marc and Angel! Thank you!
Suky says
Loved this. Thank you for reminding me. 4 brought a tear to my eyes… but a happy ones.
Anwell Steve says
Life is too short to create negative thoughts in your life. Be reminded that we are unique in our own ways. We should keep telling ourselves that we are extraordinary and let go of insecurities. Having a healthy mind will keep us away from stress and negative energies, and will surely lead us to a better life.
Vishnu says
Therese – so great to see you over here with this timely reminder about these 6 powerful truths.
I used to stopped listening to myself before and thought that I had this annoying inner-voice trying to steer me off course. Then I woke up one day and realized that inner voice had never steered me wrong and should be the only voice I listened to! I’m doing more of that now and my life has changed completely for the better.
Love the point about the weirdness factor too. A lot of times we hide our true character because it might bother some people. Who cares?? The people who appreciate our weirdness will be there for us even more. We have to embrace ourselves and our quirkiness and others will too.
Glad I saw this today and thank you!
Linda Sand says
People like me. Even when I don’t like myself, there are people who think I have something of value to give to this world.
Marlys says
This is exactly what I needed to read today… Thank you for the beautiful words of encouragement!
Chim says
Truly inspirational stuff. Thank you so much. Self-love and self-appreciation is not selfish. It’s treating yourself as you would treat your best friend. It’s loving yourself, forgiving yourself, being kind to yourself, being your own biggest fan, celebrating yourself. You can’t love others if you don’t love yourself. Thanks again.
Taura says
Thanks for the insight. I have realised that I am a strong person with the ability to put forward innovative ideas at the workplace and in my personal life. I need to remember to trust me more. I am strong enough to move forward even after setbacks, if others try to put me down or belittle my efforts. It’s wonderful to be me. I am a good person.