Focus on what you don’t have and you will never have enough. Be thankful for what you do have and you will end up having even more.
It’s a vague feeling you can’t quite put your finger on. From the outside, people might think you have an awesome life, but they can’t see what’s going on in your head. Emptiness fills your thoughts and emotions all too often, nagging at you throughout the day. You set goals but they never satisfy your ego. The search can seem almost endless at times.
And the question continues to circulate throughout your mind: “How do I find happiness?”
You don’t have to live like this. Fortunately, there is a better way to view the world that will lead to what you seek. The first step along the way is to stop searching. You will never find happiness by continuously looking for it. When you focus on the lack of something in your life, what you seek will always elude you.
Rather than dwelling on what is missing, begin to look at what you have. This isn’t just about material items. It can be people, experiences, pets, or anything else you have present in your life. When you focus on the abundance you already have, the negative feelings that come from lacking something else gradually fade from your conscious.
Having trouble thinking of some things to feel grateful for? Here’s a short list of things you have to smile about – some obvious signs you’re doing just fine in life:
- You have food available to eat. – When you eat something today, even if it’s just a small snack, give thanks. Savor it and appreciate the fact that you can grab something to eat anytime you’re hungry. Stop and think about the farmers and manufacturers who provided it, and even the people who distributed the food to your location. A lot of work goes into making your food available to you. Be grateful for it.
- There is a nearby faucet with clean water. – In many parts of the world clean water is not readily available. Some people walk miles just to get water that is dirty and contaminated. Others struggle through tough terrain and incredible danger to get access to the very same quality of water you have on-demand access to. So next time you turn on your faucet, smile.
- You take a warm shower at least once a day. – Speaking of water, this one is so easy to take for granted, especially if you shower every morning just to freshen yourself up. So many people don’t have access to clean water, let alone clean warm water that can instantly wash over their skin and help them greet the morning. You do, however, and this is a true privilege.
- You have your own comfortable bed. – When you get home after a long day and plop down on your bed to rest, it’s easy to forget how miserable you would be without it. It’s easy to forget about the thousands of people in this world that don’t have this luxury. So next time you lay down on your bed, take a second and feel how soft and comfy it is and say, “Thank you.” As you close your eyes, let appreciation pour from your heart.
- There’s a roof over your head and walls around you. – While you’re in your bed at night drifting off to sleep, think about the roof that’s keeping you dry and safe. It’s kind of a big deal. Bugs and wild animals could have their way with you without your home’s roof and walls. You would also be at the mercy of all the elements: rain, cold, snow, wind, heat, sun, etc.
- You can control the temperature of your environment. – This one gets forgotten easily, until it’s the middle of July and the air conditioning stops working, or the middle of winter and the heat doesn’t come on. While things are in working order, be grateful each time you adjust the thermostat in your home or car and it begins to change the temperature of your environment.
- You don’t have to walk everywhere. – Whether you have a car, a bike, or just enough money to get where you need to go using public transportation, it sure is nice to have the option not to walk. Appreciate the fact that you have some way to get around, even if it isn’t the classiest conveyance available.
- You’re wearing clean clothes. – You may not have the nicest, the newest, or the trendiest clothes. You may even have a stain or two on your favorite pair of jeans, but they are clean and they keep you warm and comfortable. Every day when you open your dresser drawer, look at all the options you have and smile. Grab a piece of clothing and take a big whiff of that clean, fresh laundry scent. Life is good.
- Morning coffee and tea is an option. – (I’m mentioning this because it’s one of my personal favorites.) Instead of just gulping down your daily cup of joe or tea, try sipping on it slowly, savoring every little bit. Enjoy the steamy goodness, the earthy tones, and the smooth balance of flavors. Savor the goodness and let it remind you of how fortunate you are.
- There are people in this world who love you. – Life is happiest when it’s shared. Cherish your close friends and family members. You’re lucky to have them. Even in life’s hardest times, you can sustain yourself with the love they give to you. They are significant; never forget how significant.
- There is oxygen available to breathe. – This is perhaps the most universal luxury we all take for granted. Your life wouldn’t last very long without it. Take a deep, slow breath and feel your lungs expand. Someone once said oxygen is something we don’t think about until we don’t have it. So go ahead, take a moment and think about it now.
Recognizing these simple luxuries you already have in your life on a daily basis can take you from a mindset of wishing you had more, to a mindset of joyful appreciation. Give it a try.
Your turn…
What would you add to the list? What’s something you’re grateful for that you sometimes take for granted? Please leave a comment below and let the community know.
Author Bio: Ernest Dempsey is a counselor and fiction author from Chattanooga, Tennessee. Check out his books and his powerful blog posts at ernestdempsey.net or follow him on Twitter @ErnDempsey.
Photo by: Tanzil Tafheem
1968Michelle says
Faith: We can’t forget our friends who comment on the posts.
1968Michelle says
Marc and Angel, my apologies. I sent a blank. My fingers and keyboard are not gettin along well today, lol.
Faith. “Being certain of what you wish for, and sure of what you do not see.” Wishes do come true when we wish for the right things. I’ve seen it and felt it but it’s hard to explain in words. It does make me smile from my toes to my eyes when it comes. I am thankful for the long time friend who recommended getting connected with Marc and Angel, and all of you above. Without even knowing it we keep each other grounded, and we don’t even know each other personally.
Kevin Halls says
I’m so grateful for inspiration when I want to write poetry or a football article. I often wonder where inspiration comes from? Maybe you could use that for one of your wonderful pieces? But wherever it comes from… either from within or from the universe… I give thanks.
Dona Middleton says
I’m so grateful for having the ability to read (thank you teachers everywhere).
Thank you for another great article to remind me to be grateful for the things I so easily take for granted.
Parita @ myinnershakti says
I am thankful for this article! And if I were to add one thing it would be freedom. As a citizen of the US, I would say this is a big one for me. Way too many people are not so lucky.
Joanne Guidoccio says
Grateful for this post! Thank you for reminding us of the many blessings we take for granted.
Melissa Webster says
THIS: Vincent, yes. Literacy and education, the ability to obtain knowledge and information, is the foundation to everything beautiful in this world, and I am so grateful for it. My laptop has been my most prized possession for a very long time.
I’m also grateful for this website and all the people who comment on here every week. You guys helped me through a really difficult time.
As someone who’s gone without all of the things (except oxygen) on this list in the recent past, I am grateful every single day for the little comforts I have now in my life, and all the “angels” who helped me along the way.
Going through hunger without enough food to eat, without the safety and stability of shelter, without a support system of people who love and accept you, without a simple shower, really puts life into perspective and makes all those ‘first-world’ problems seem shallow and insignificant. What a spoiled brat I had been! I’m grateful to have experienced what it’s like for the less fortunate among us, here in our own country. And I’m even more grateful for the resources I had to pull out of it.
Life may not be how I’d planned it or hoped it would turn out, but it’s still really damn amazing.
Thank you once again for a wonderful post to start the day with. – Melissa
Cath says
Thank you for helping to put things in perspective, and also for all your postings. Much appreciated.
Donna says
Everyday… I’m grateful to have a job to go to and receive my pay check every second Friday.
lakisha jones says
Thank you for reminding me of how selfish I can be sometimes. There are tons of things that I am grateful for, but yet and still I complain… I am 100% grateful for a sane mind and the ability to read this article. I’m grateful for my family and my life period. I am grateful for GOD having my back.. I needed that..
Deborah Bountiful says
Interesting. I do NOT have several of these things, and I feel VERY blessed and abundant!
Linda Gillis says
I am grateful that I can make choices. As a retired person (with more than adequate finances, but not “wealthy”) I can chose what I want to do every day.
Jessica says
The simple joy that my new kitten brings me….. especially this part in the day when I’ve just got home and he comes running up to me to say hi. Being able to provide for and love what would have otherwise been a feral city cat is awesome.
Ernest Dempsey says
Love it, Deborah!
Upasana says
Wow what a great article! So happy to have found this blog. This article does put things in perspective. Its the little things that we take for granted so often.
Clean water, morning coffee! Just be grateful and happiness will come.
Dave says
A nicely written reminder of what we are blessed with is not always those grand things of our dreams but the simple things in life that nourish, sustain and encourage our growth.
Jennifer Vogel says
A job. And one that I am fortunate enough to enjoy most of the time!
Irene says
Cool sun-filled spring days, the gentle patter of rain, green trees and birdsong.
Drew says
Someone to love, and be loved in return…
Larry Hochman says
Here’s one…I am happy about and grateful for the ability to reach out to people around the world, through the technology and social networks we’ve set up. I am happy about the opportunity to serve people far and wide…to let my stuff influence them and vice versa.
All this communication is raising the level of consciousness and awareness…in individuals and collectively. May not always seem like it, but it is something very good.
Thanks for some great reminders.
Sylvie says
Stretching my legs out in bed to get more room and feeling my feet hit a rock: my dog who won’t budge. And loving it, no matter how uncomfortable I am.
Connie says
I just opened a letter from the tax man and have been reassessed and now owe six times, yes six times what I previously owed…but you know what?
I decided to sit and meditate and not let this situation take a hold of me and send me spiraling.
I’m grateful for the following:
– God
– my life and health
– my wonderful son
– my job and amazing boss
– my warm, cozy home
– the ability to sit, comfort and listen to my coworker who was overwhelmed and crying
– that I will find a way to pay off my tax debt!
Jyotika says
Thanks a ton, Marc and Angel, for sharing another beautiful post! I feel blessed for the people in my life more than anything else..they are what make my life worth living!
Reading all the pointers above as well as the comments make me feel grateful for the quality of life I live! I’m thankful for all the technological advancements we have..be it cellphones or the internet..it helps me stay in constant touch with my loved ones…however far away they may be…
@Patrick Edbald: I’ve been practicing the same method of writing down 3 things to be grateful for every day (guess I started it after reading about it in one of these blogs) It really does make a difference! 🙂
@Drew:I couldn’t agree more!Love makes the world go ’round!
Looking forward to more…
Carrie says
I am grateful for God. When I am at my lowest point and feel like I have no one to turn to, I can always bow my head and say a little prayer to praise him, or to ask for forgiveness, or for a little help, a pick me up for that day or week. Even if you have little to no friends or family for that matter, you do have a Father who is there for you at all times. He doesn’t judge you or neglect you no matter what you have done. I am so very grateful for him and to know that when I pass on, I will be meeting him at the glorious gates of Heaven. Without God, we wouldn’t have those 11 little things to be grateful for. Always remember that!
Raziuddin Shaikh says
All your articles that I’ve been reading for the past maybe 3 months are so great… so full of inspiration & positive thinking that I am really grateful to you from the bottom of my heart. I sure want to meet you two sometime, though I don’t know if & when it will be possible.
Gilly says
Although in the Autumn of my life, I have never lost the ability to be grateful and to see beauty in all and everything. I also seem to be able to forgive readily, (although I can get hurt again) and forget past problems to leave space in my heart and mind for what’s happening TODAY! And thank you for pointing out even a cuppa can be savored too!
Weaver says
I have slept on the street, I have gone days without food or fresh water, I have lived in ways that few people my age could imagine. I am 20. Even in my darkest days, I reminded myself to always be grateful for the human ability to feel. No matter how horrible life gets, you will always be able to reach out and run your fingers through a cats fur, fall and scrape your knee, feel the velvety softness of the petals of a rose. Life is truly a miracle.
Samir Atalla says
I always believe one should start with the little things we take for granted, the list you gave is pretty inclusive, but I would also add the use of all your senses and limbs, that is one blessing we should have and not take for granted, to be able to take a breath naturally and easily without struggling.
These small things can help the ball rolling into the bigger things.
Meg says
Great post! I am so very thankful that my fingers work just fine so that I am able to respond… smiling…
Thank you.
Lauren Raso says
I love the title of this post (and the post)!
It is easy to get caught up in the trials we all experience, but when you sit, take a moment and really just let life sink in, then we truly are doing just fine.
Ejaz Karim says
Thanks for awesome post. We forget about the natural gifts and we do not thankful for what we have. We should be thankful to God for his gifts and for this awesome life.
Rebecca Antholz says
I am grateful that whenever I read your incredible bits if wisdom, I become a better person. Thank you for your insights and wisdom.
Jackie says
I am grateful to all the people who commented! 🙂
Thank you for sharing your life experiences, especially you Weaver! 🙂 Even in the darkest of days, there is always HOPE!
Marc & Angel, I can’t thank you enough!
Andrea says
I’m appreciative of being able to read. Sadly there are many in this world who can’t enjoy the beauty of literature or many other aspects of reading because they don’t know how to.
neeru says
Parents – I am grateful to my parents by whom I am here on this planet.
Health – I am grateful to my good health; I can enjoy all the happiness of life.
Family and Children – Healthy and beautiful family with whom I spend my life happily and safely.
Consciousness – I am feeling my being only when I am consciousness about my self.
Allie says
Wonderful post. It’s always good to be reminded that mindfulness can really have a dramatic impact your life.
Denise says
In addition to the obvious (thankful for my healthy, happy little boy) I am grateful for the gift of a solid education and the fact that I can continue to pursue more educational opportunities!
Jim DeRoy says
I certainly hope that we don’t run out of oxygen to breathe any time soon! Great reminder, here, about how good we truly do have it here in the U.S. Thanks for keeping it positive M&A!
Vishnu says
Love this post and so many things that people are grateful for here.
An LOL for sewage systems, Lori. No doubt about that!
I can appreciate and have started spending more time appreciating all the natural beauty around us. So many sunsets, blooming flower and beaches we take for granted.
Awesome reminder, Ernest. I do write ten items down I’m grateful for each day – definitely a spiritual practice.
Gayle says
I have the education I need to take care of myself and my family. Priceless.
Angel Chernoff says
Wow! Such beautiful, heartfelt replies from everyone. Marc and I are grateful for so much, but tonight, after reading all your comments, we are truly thankful for YOU.
Thank you for continuing to inspire us.
Emmanuel says
I’m so grateful for being able to think for myself. Some may require others or aids to think for them. Ability to think and think through is a great privilege and should not be taken for granted.
Diane says
I would add computers & the internet, without which we would not have access to this wonderful post.
I am thankful for the general good health of my family, and our ability to get medical care when needed.
It’s funny, I had just been thinking about these things before reading this post, because I’d been at the dentist with my 22yo son, who had an abcessed tooth and needed a root canal.
I was a bit bummed about the sudden expense, but driving home I realized that we are so fortunate that I could get him the treatment he needed immediately. I put it on a credit card, which I can take money from the emergency fund to pay. There was a long time in my life when this would have been a crisis, but thankfully not today.
So I was already feeling blessed when I came home to find this post. Thanks everyone for sharing your comments!
jan says
I am grateful to everything that has made me smile in life, right from my pet to my maid who lessens my work in the kitchen. I am grateful to my son for loving Me for what I am. To my husband who wholeheartedly loves me forgiving all my mistakes.vMy parents who had given me healthy body and great education.vI am grateful to God for creating everything under the sun which in some way adds beauty to my life 🙂
Mistress says
I am grateful for not only the insightful list, but also everyone’s polite and heartfelt comments, which I also learn from. (In this mean and nasty world we live in, one doesn’t have to go beyond a site like youtube to get a sad dose of the vitriol some people enjoy spreading and actually seem to enjoy doing it. Glad I don’t see any of that here. For that I am grateful.
Patty says
The ability to think clearly
The ability to walk without pain
The ability to choose
The ability to hear music
The ability to speak
To have a friend
To have someone that lives me
Someone to love
Someone to share memories with
To know about GOD
terri corrigan says
The greatest gift we have is freedom.
Ron Miller says
Amen Marc!
Chris says
Lol, as a founder of a new tech company. I have 6 out of the 11, barely. I am happy though. Stressed, but happy.
Mel says
Having seen my mom struggle to breathe in the end stages of lung cancer, I really appreciate every day I have… just the oxygen around me and the ability to effortlessly breathe it truly is a blessing. It really is a lasting blessing passed on to me by my mother – the simple reminder that there is always, always something to be grateful for, in every moment, whether we’re consciously aware of it or not.