“Being alone never felt right. Sometimes it felt good, but it never felt right.”
— Charles Bukowski
“This morning I felt lost and alone as I was driving home after a brutal breakup with my boyfriend. I turned on the radio and the Michael Jackson song ‘You Are Not Alone’ was playing. A few seconds later, at the exact moment the chorus began, I passed a huge billboard sign with big black letters that read, ‘YOU ARE NOT ALONE!’”
That’s the opening paragraph of an email I received today from a reader named Ella. It made me smile because I love when life delivers seemingly coincidental, positive messages like that, right when we need them most.
However, the rest of Ella’s email further described her ongoing struggle with feeling “lost and alone” in life. Which got me thinking…
Why do people have to feel this way? What’s the point of it all? Millions of people in this world, all of them craving connection, and looking for specific experiences and people to satisfy them, yet inadvertently isolating themselves in the process. Why? Was the planet put here just to nourish our loneliness?
The more I’ve experienced and explored my own feelings of uncertainty and loneliness, the more I’ve realized how necessary these feelings are. It’s good for us to spend time exploring unknowns, alone. It gives us an opportunity to discover who we really are and what life is all about.
Here are some things to keep in mind when you feel lost and alone:
1. You are not alone in being alone.
So many of us are fighting the same exact battle alongside you. We are all in this together. So no matter how embarrassed or pathetic you feel about your own situation, know that there are others out there experiencing the same emotions. When you hear yourself say, “I am all alone,” it’s just your worried mind trying to sell you a lie. There’s always someone who can relate to you. Perhaps you can’t immediately talk to them, but they are out there, and that’s all you need to know right now.
2. Sometimes when you’re lonely, you need to be alone.
Sometimes you need to be alone, not to be lonely, but to enjoy a little free time just being yourself and finding your way. In other words, the moments you feel lonely are the moments you may most need to be by yourself. This is one of life’s cruelest ironies.
We need solitude, because when we’re alone we’re detached from obligations, we don’t need to put on a show, and we can hear our own thoughts and feel what our intuition is telling us. And the truth is, throughout your life there will be times when the world gets real quiet and the only thing left is the beat of your own heart. So you’d better learn the sound of it, otherwise you’ll never understand what it’s telling you. (Read Quiet: The Power of Introverts.)
3. You have to be a little lost first to find what you’re looking for.
Not until you are lost in this world can you begin to find your best path. Realizing you are lost is the first step to living the life you want. The second step is leaving the life you don’t want. Making a big life change is pretty scary. But you know what’s even scarier? Regret.
I can tell you from my own life experience that I’ve found love, lost it, found it, lost it and then I found it once again. But each time what I found was more incredible than the last. So remember that everyone suffers in life at some point. Everyone feels lost sometimes. The key is using your experiences to grow. When you apply what you’re learning to your future choices and actions, you move forward not backward. You become stronger and wiser. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it in the end.
4. It’s all about accepting the reality of what is.
You cannot find peace by avoiding life. Life spins with unexpected changes; so instead of avoiding it, take every change and experience as a challenge for growth. Either it will give you what you want or it will teach you what the next step is. And remember, finding peace in life does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, no challenges, and no hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things while remaining calm in your heart.
Honestly, life is too short to spend at war with yourself. The biggest disappointments in our lives are often the result of misplaced expectations. Letting go of needless expectations is your first step to happiness. Come from a mindset of peace and acceptance, and you can deal with almost anything and grow beyond it.
5. In every situation, YOU choose your attitude.
Be determined to be positive. Understand that the greater part of your misery or unhappiness is determined not by your circumstances, but by your attitude. A happy person is not a person who’s always in a good situation, but rather a person who always has a good attitude in every situation. So smile at those who often try to begrudge or hurt you; show them what’s missing in their life and what they can’t take away from you. Doing so doesn’t mean forgetting or giving in, it means you choose happiness over hurt. (Read Buddha’s Brain.)
6. Being alone does not mean you are lonely, and being lonely does not mean you are alone.
The trouble is not always in being alone; it’s being lonely in the presence of others. One can be lonely in the midst of a crowd. Wouldn’t you agree? So keep this in mind and choose your relationships wisely. It’s always better to be alone than to be in bad company. And when you do decide to come back for someone, do so because you’re truly better off with this person. Don’t do it just for the sake not being alone.
7. Everyone you care about does NOT need to support your decisions.
Friends and family won’t always support your goals, but you must pursue them anyway. Follow your intuition. Following your intuition means doing what feels right, even if it doesn’t look or sound right to others. Only time will tell, but our human instincts are rarely wrong. Even if things don’t turn out as you anticipated, at least you won’t have to spend the rest of your life wondering what could have been. So don’t worry about what everyone else thinks; just keep living and speaking your truth.
Ultimately, you know you’re on the right track in life when you become uninterested in looking back, and eager to take the next step, regardless of what anyone else thinks.
8. You are not who you used to be, and that’s OK.
You’ve been hurt; you’ve gone through numerous ups and downs that have made you who you are today. Over the years, so many things have happened – things that have changed your perspective, taught you lessons, and forced your spirit to grow. As time passes, nobody stays the same, but some people will still tell you that you have changed. Respond to them by saying, “Of course I’ve changed. That’s what life is all about. I’m still the same human being, just a little stronger now than I ever was before.”
9. The best you can do changes from day to day.
Always do your best. And realize that “your best” is going to change repeatedly. For instance, it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick.
Under any circumstance, simply do your best in the present moment and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret. And remember that no matter what’s happening, you can efficiently fight the battles of just today. It’s only when you add the battles of those two abysmal eternities, yesterday and tomorrow, that life gets overwhelmingly complicated. It’s necessary, therefore, to let yourself live just one day at a time – just today – just right here, right now. And do the best you can in it. (Angel and I discuss this in more detail in the “Self_love” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)
10. It all matters in the end – every step, every regret, every smile, and every struggle.
The seemingly useless happenings add up to something. The minimum wage job you had in high school. The evenings you spent socializing with colleagues you never see anymore. The hours you spent writing thoughts on a personal blog that no one reads. Contemplations about elaborate future plans that never came to be. All those lonely nights spent reading novels and news columns and comics strips and fashion magazines and questioning your own principles on life and sex and religion and whether or not you’re good enough just the way you are. All of this has strengthened you. All of this has led you to every success you’ve ever had. All of this has made you who you are today.
The floor is yours…
What helps you stay positive when you feel lost and alone? What’s something encouraging you try to keep in mind when you’re up against lots of uncertainty? Leave a comment below and share your thoughts.
Photo by: Little Zoker
Marc Chernoff says
@Teri: So honest, direct and true. I love it! 🙂
@ All: These beautiful comments are a great reminder that we are not alone. We are all in this together, learning and growing every single day. Use this time to reflect, be present and most of all, be thankful for all your blessings. Thank you for the continued support. Till next time…
Kirk says
I’ve been reading this blog for a loooong time and this is the most profound thing I’ve ever read on here. This is such a fantastic list that I intend to put it up somewhere where I can see it and go through these points one by one. Thank you for writing it!
Rinny says
Without words. You truly have inspired me to keep fighting to beat the odds. I just ended an unhealthy relationship after about a year of on and off. Your wisdom helps me.
kanmuri says
I think I’ve suffered from depression most of my adult life. It comes and goes. I’m in a really rough spot now. I know what I want to do, need to do, but feel like it’s all pointless. I feel alone and at the same time, I want to isolate myself more, cut all ties. Your post has given me positive something to think about.
Laura says
Thank you Marc and Angel for all that you do. Your words of inspiration give me great encouragement and hope during difficult times. It is good to know that I am not alone, that there are others dealing with similar struggles and emotions, finding ways to move forward on a positive path. We are all connected.
Your list has given me a new perspective, and it has encouraged me to turn this alone time into something more productive and positive. I will definitely sleep better tonight, and am looking forward to a new day. Thank you and God bless 🙂
Connie says
Hey Marc, I came trough a lot of problems and struggles in my young life and how it seems, things won’t get better. I heard a lot similar words from family and friend who have tried to tell me how beautiful life can be and that every sad moment is a wasted one but I never really had listened to them. Couple days ago when I came across your site I had never thought that words like those could help me but honestly after a few articles I had never felt so strong and confident. Maybe it will took a while to get my butt in gear but I’m sure you’re words helped me out a lot! Thanks for that!
Joe says
Wow! Great post “The seemingly useless happenings add up to something.” This really resonated with me.
Rachel says
For the past few months since 2013, I have been feeling “alone” even if I am surrounded by many people each day. I even feel alone in the midst of my special someone. Thank you for this very inspirational write-up.
Your posts always makes me feel better after every read. It makes me remember that I am human and that it’s okay to make mistakes. Thank you. 🙂
Shawn Lowe says
Your articles are always so helpful and touch me just when I need it. It’s like they are sent directly from the Universe to me. Whenever I am struggling with a question, an issue, or I can’t stop crying from my heart break, I open Facebook and your articles are the first thing I see. It truly is divine intervention. Thank you.
Maribel says
Thank you! xoxo
Joe Murphy says
I’ve just stumbled over this article…. Every day I’m going to re-read this…. Each section of this speaks to me so many ways.
Much love to every one going through the struggle. And Marc, congratulations on such a well written piece.
HYUN says
Thank you a lot. This article is really helpful.
Marie Joy says
I used to be alone and stick to the people who are kind and understanding . But sometimes I try to hang-out with someone or group of people that are not really my “type” and most of that time , I felt out-of-place . That’s why I strongly agree that “it’s always better to be alone than to be in bad company”. 🙂
Lorraine says
I just want to quickly add and note those signs may not be coincidences at all. God loves everyone even those who don’t know Him. And he knows when your heartbroken and he is really understanding and caring toward you. I believe those messages were from Him directly to you…. 🙂
Patrick says
I have a partner and she seems to enjoy being alone sometimes and I do not. When I’m not texting or talking to her I begin to go crazy, not much about her but about myself. I begin to question and rethink my entire life. Even though I bursted into tears by the 5th one, this really helped.
lulu says
AWESOME ARTICLE!!
I made a meme with this quote and gave you credit:
“Take every change and experience as a challenge for growth. Either it will give you what you want or it will teach you what the next step is”.
-Marc Chernoff
Janice says
Dear Teri and Marc
Teri you haven’t stated your situation which is most unfair, don’t accuse people who are lonely that they are doing meaningless activities, such as both of us writing on this blog? I have spent my time volunteering for organizations, when you are single and have had failed relationships, do not have children, over 50 with virtually zero partner prospects in sight and no I am not ugly, I am normal, what are you to do after working all day? The house is empty at night and weekends, single friends are a long way away and they have their kids. You can’t just visit everybody, they don’t want you to come and visit a single person, especially more so if any of your friends may be married, they keep their distance the most. A person does there best to socialise and help out, it’s just not the same as having a partner and/or children. 5 years of this now and it’s very depressing. Walk a mile in someones shoes.
Miriam says
Very helpful. I really needed to read something like this. Thanks!
Elizabeth says
“You are not who you used to be, and that’s OK.” – something I seem to be struggling with recently. Unwilling to accept change in myself is my battle right now.
lauramichelle says
When I feel most alone I exercise. I also am fortunate to live with my nieces and nephews and just go visit with them and cuddle or spoil them. The love a child can have even if its not your own is so amazing how instant and sincere it feels! Family doesn’t have to have the same dna, just a simple love for one another. Go get that. A quote from one of the other lauras that commented really helped: to new people, new paths, new loves.
Cynthia says
Life is hard. Once we accept that, then we can get on with the process of living.
I often think of those words these days.
Two years ago, I was married to my best friend, who I spent all of my adult life with. We had one son. We had a busy life with work, businesses, family and little time for friends, sorry to say. Loads and loads of acquaintances, though!
And then the skies opened and one huge kaboom hit my world.
Within six months time period, both of my in-laws died, both of my parents died, my sister suffered an illness that left her a vegetable, a lifelong friend died, my husband died at 59 years old in my arms, and my son move 2000 miles away. I shut down my in-home business to take care of my husband while he died and my halftime university job got defunded.
Yikes, hmm?
So very suddenly, I went from a world living within my really connected “tribe,” a home filled with life, holidays that I took for granted and meaningful, busy work to being smack dab all alone — and I do mean all alone — in the middle of rural America!
I am now on Day 17 of not having an out loud conversation with any other human being. I am mastering “cat,” “cow,” and “horse.” I keep Pandora playing for the obvious sound reasons.
I work all day from a home office — internet business — and in the evenings, I toil lovingly for hours in my 1600 sq foot vegetable garden (yep, 1600). I have zero family now so life is quiet.
This is really hard. Really hard. But physical work helps. And exposure to the sun for 30 minutes increases endorphins and that helps too. Do I want to live like this forever? Oh boy. No! I hope I don’t. Goodness! What a thought!
In my age group, everyone is at a stage where their focus is inward on family, on grandchildren, on husbands. Friends are different. They’re outside “the tribe.” This isn’t so much the case when one is younger. But it’s sure a truth that the older generation should share with the younger generation, imho. They need to prepare for that chapter in life. I wish someone had told me!
What strikes me as odd, though, as I read the many posts here is how in the world, I can’t even remember one person telling me that they were living life as alone as I am.. How interesting that so many, many people feel so similarly and yet we only find out about it by going online.
So online is where honesty lives? And in our daily worlds, we live lives of pretend?
I’m off now to talk with the cat, horse, and cow about it. Who knows? They might be more profound in their thinking than us humans! lol..
Everyone here — a huge hug from me to you.
Life is hard. Once we accept that, we can get on with the process of living!
Starla says
@ Cynthia ~ thank you so much for sharing your personal story. You may never know how much you helped someone get through a terribly difficult time, simply by telling it.
My story is very different, as I left an abusive relationship over 16 years ago and it caused me to be very distrustful of men. So I determined that I would build my whole world around my friends and children.
Now my boys are gone, no mate and not a whole lot of dating options, and just one dog left here with me. And just recently, my very best friend announced that she too, will be leaving soon, going all the way across the country for a job opportunity… Suffice it to say, “The silence is deafening.”
I have taken to crying myself to sleep of late even though I know that I am supposed to be doing something else… something meaningful, but for the life of me, I cannot figure out what that is??
Reading your post made me realize that I have no clue what it really means to be alone. I have my mom, my children are still alive, and I still have friends that I cherish (just not as many these days) and I am daily working on my health and emotional well being.
You are an insanely strong woman and I stand humbled and almost embarrassed as I have never experienced anything as dire or devastating as you, yourself, have had to endure.
Your words and your story have made me realize how precious the time we have left really is… so THANK YOU, truly!!
Here is a huge hug of gratitude from me to you.
!!!HUGS!!!
Blessings upon Blessings and May you find someone to share your lovely garden and your precious non human companions.
Daniel Samson says
Wow!!
I’m so happy and feel great to read this. I actually felt very much depressed before now. I’ve been gazing at my computer with no idea of why to do or who to talk to. It’s not a good feeling I must confess. So, I just Googled “I feel lost.” Then I clicked on this and I think I feel very delighted and elevated now. Thanks!!!
Linda says
I just found this and wow, thank you so much for writing this. I needed to read this and realise that being lonely is not the end of the world, that’s it’s okay to be by yourself. This part really clicked for me: “And the truth is, throughout your life there will be times when the world gets real quiet and the only thing left is the beat of your own heart. So you’d better learn the sound of it, otherwise you’ll never understand what it’s telling you.”
Again, thank you for writing this, it’s helping people. It’s helping me.
Prachi Pathak says
Hey Marc thank you so much…your post helped me a lot wen i needed it most…thanks a ton 🙂
Sheila says
I find strength in pistachios, my two cats, and hash oil. Also Jesus.
Julia says
I remind myself that this isn’t “it”, its not the end point, its just a stepping stone towards something better. I find strength from my dog. Animals teach you to love unconditionally and to live in the moment.
Gigi says
I am never grateful for what I have. I am never present in the moment. And I always think grass on the other side of mountain greener. I am 50% happy, other 50% lost/unhappy. I came to to conclusion that I don’t have to be happy all the time. It is ok to be sad, question life, dislike some people and be grumpy. I do not have to have fake smile if I feel blank inside. I feel like “feeling lost” is side effect of being so very happy because when I am happy it is highest point of happiness. So I am used to it now.
H says
Thanks a lot Marc and Angel. Your word is really inspiring and helpful. even if when i feel alone in crowd when reading your writing it make me happy and it support me. Hope you can write many good article and God Bless you.
JR says
I’m so very glad I ran across this webpage. I needed it badly. THANK YOU so much Marc and Angel for this list of 10 Things to Remember When You Feel Lost and Alone. And thankyou to all the others who have posted here with your own stories and feelings of loneliness. You all have helped me to bring my feelings of loneliness into perspective as well as provide many helpful comments and tips as to how to handle this feeling.
I was married for a long time and have been struggling with being alone after my husband passed away. As a couple of others have already posted “the silence is deafening”. Sometimes overwhelming. Even though I work at trying to stay busy. I have my 2 dogs, one who is getting old and was very close to my husband, and I work full time. It’s the weekends that are the hardest for me. I used to look so forward to them, now I feel sad when they roll around. Never thought that would happen!
I’ll be coming back to re-read everything here. Bless you Marc and Angel for sharing your writings and wisdom!
favour says
Thank You for the inspiring words. May God continue to give you more understanding to follow up. God Bless
Red says
Wow just wow… I can’t sleep right now because for no reason at all I just feel lonely, sad and just down I guess. I have been battling depression lately and I came here just to get some ideas of how to make myself feel better but at the same time I was thinking that this wasn’t even going to help me at all… Well I was wrong! After reading just the first one on the list it just for some reason made me feel better like instantly! Thank you so much. I really appreciate it!!!
Mindy says
I found this by googling “feeling lost”- all we can do sometimes when we feel overwhelmed. I wonder sometimes if there would be a way to connect with others feeling like this, so we know we’re not so alone after all. Thank you to all the courageous commenters for sharing your stories and pain. We heal by doing so.
A few things help me when I’m feeling lost:
1- I try to reach out and communicate with people I haven’t seen in a long time. When something happens to us, we feel like it’s the entire world, and by reaching out to others not involved in my daily life, I realize, it’s not really so big after all. Here’s someone who isn’t even aware of it.
2- In a similar vein, I think, if a billion people across the ocean don’t care about this, why should I? That’s not intended to belittle anything happening to me, but just to remind myself that there’s more out there than this.
3- When I went through a particularly difficult trauma, a dear friend said to me “We don’t know what’s around the corner”. I hold onto that truth. We’re all familiar with how fast things change, and how something can show up from nowhere. Sometimes from our deepest trauma is birthed our deepest joy and triumph.
Tom says
Like Mindy, I found this through googling ‘I feel completely alone.’
The rational part of my brain understands all these points, they make complete sense. I just have absolutely no idea how to put anything into action with my own life.
I constantly feel like I’m on the outside of groups at work and in my social life.
In relationships I’ve been really hurt, and now my confidence and willingness to trust are at an all time low. I really want to be able to meet new people, but it always seems like such hard work and I feel like inevitably I get let down/hurt again.
I’m always worried about what other people think of me, and I always, always overthink things. If someone doesn’t text back, it’s never because of a simple/logical reason, it automatically has some kind of meaning attached to it. It’s these things I find myself obsessing over when I’m trying to sleep (like right now).
Even something that might have happened a few years ago, I’ll replay that in my mind over and over again. My mind plays tricks on me and I find myself thinking through arguments and things I wish I’d had/said. I’ve been known to overthink a situation to the extent where I’ve had a hypothetical argument with that person in my head and end up being upset with them/myself over an argument that has never even taken place!
aloni says
Wow. I have read all of the posts. Good to see so many seemingly happy people out there.
My distress is that I lost a father and brother at a young age. Thinking that life would certainly have to get better for me and that I had had enough unfair circumstances, I got married at 32 to my best friend and soulmate and had a child at 35. My child subsequently had seizures that resulted in her having cerebral palsy. She is a beautiful and charming child and I am grateful for that. However, she is fully dependent on me for her to do everything, and I work a full time very demanding job so I have little time for myself. This leaves me most days completely exhausted and my marriage has seen better days. Additionally, there are not many people that can really fully understand the depth of this issue, so I find that I rarely talk about it with others because the ones that I have spoken to, often times dismiss it or minimize my situation.
At this point, I feel that the pain that I am suffering has turned everyone that I care about away. I feel so alone and beaten and do not know what to do about it. I have tried to pull myself out several times, but keep falling into a slump of overwhelm.
I remember a time when I was happy as a lark. No worries and I could relate to all the posts about being positive because of that time. But now, it seems like such a difficult thing for me. How do I get back to that? How do I find joy and peace again?
Akshay says
There was a time when I used to rely on my girl for emotional support and care. Being a Cancerian, I need a lot of that, but after the break-up it seems as if everything is lost and even the friends whom I used to talk with to find solace stopped talking because of I have never been good to them. Now, I have lost my girl and my friends and have nothing left. But like you said Marc, there are others like me and this is the time to become stronger and better. Sometimes I think for whom should I become all that now? Maybe just for myself. Its difficult as hell. It feels like living in a prison. Only a little safe prison. I have got so much used to love and care that living without them seems impossible. But I have to forcibly change that attitude. Its all just messed up right now and articles like these really help in making you believe in yourself.
Thanks a lot!
Iryna Storozhuk says
I am very happy with myself and my life, but lately i have been feeling that i am missing something, i am not doing something i am suppose to do, i feel this next step is coming, but i have not realized what is exactly it is i am gonna do to step forward. It is like i am waiting in a silence for a sign, for further direction. At the moment nothing makes me happy or upset, it is total calmness of my being. The anticipation brings out the sadness and i start to feel depressed. But i know i am not depressed. I am extremely happy, but what is next? What is it i must do to find myself all over again? I have a feeling i must reinvent myself, but how i am in need of direction…. Your article just confirmed all i have been thinking about, thank you.
Klc says
I cried a bit, then you made realize how to be strong again.
Thank you,
Klc
Ang says
I feel like I hit rock bottom. Feel like no one is in my corner. I’ve prayed everyday and I know God hears me because I have great friends and family. So I know that I’m not alone and I have grown from what I use to be. I still have some doubts but to know that there are others who feel the way I do helps. Today I was feeling really down ready to let life go. But my son came to me this morning and he made me feel like I am important. He said he loved me no matter what. He’s definitely my blessing. Where would I be without him? Thank you Marc and Angel for helping me believe in myself again.
Crystal Bourne says
God speaks in so many ways, and this article is truly a gift from above. You have opened my eyes to something new, that I chose to ignore. People like you through God makes is the reason for life getting better each and everyday. Thank you!
JP says
Thank you for this. It is very well written.
I really needed this today.
Anupama.V.R says
It’s really a God’s gift to know other people’s problems and make an appropriate solution for that. By your article, so many people who are feeling really depressed and lonely will move definitely to their way to true happiness. Thank you for such a great article
Jamie says
Thank you. I really needed to read this.
Jenn says
I needed this today… and I needed to be able to read every one else’s responses. Sometimes I feel absolutely crazy with anticipation. Like someone else mentioned, it is the anticipation that is causing depression and anxiety. I also think at this time in my life I will have to re invent everything … I am currently in a relationship that I feel has no solid ground to build on. We have been off and on for some time, including me moving out and back in to my parents. This is currently where I am staying at the moment, and I can say this has made my state of mind much worse. I am generally a very happy person, and I have been through so much in my life, that I know this shall to pass. Sometimes it is a simple reminder that everything I have thought about and done that might seem mundane or trivial is actually not in vain.
I see my friends and family getting married and starting families of their own, and, even though I squash my jealousy, I feel like a green monster most of the time. I look forward to the day that I am able to celebrate those things as well.
I try and focus on the things that I do have, and the friendships with three particular people that are like stars in the night- incredible. This keeps me hopeful. I believe in Karma as well… knowing that by being a kind, compassionate and genuine person, those things will find me as well. I try and focus on the fact that I have my health ( something that was in jeopardy a few years ago) and I try and find solace in the education that I managed to achieve. My degree in Social work has taught me so much. My family has also been wonderful, especially my mom. She is my rock, and I am lucky to have her support.
I read a saying that really made sense to me the other day, and that was “everything you are looking for is on the other side of fear”. I know that I let my insecurities get the best of me frequently… I have a few choices to make in the next few months, as I see it… it is good to know that there are others who have the same feelings about loneliness…
In my experience, tough times are happening in our lives in order to propel us in to something great.. I sure hope that I can find my way out of this maze… I look forward to the time when I can look back and truly believe in the saying ” The things that are ahead are much greater than anything we leave behind”.
Thank you for reminding me that sometimes we need to be lonely.
Eunice says
This article are very much appreciated. It reminds me on who I am that i forgot. I was lonely and lost, still looking for that single light.
I did talk my problems with my mother and she did encourage me, yet there’s this feeling within me that says ” You’re the only one who could decide if it’s right or wrong. With no judgments, and just truth.” I keep reminding myself that.
Honestly, it’s quite ironic, when people around me feels sad and alone I tried to reached out and encourage them, but if it’s me who’s in the situation no one would reached out because they would say “You’re strong and tough unlike me.” If only they would know that I was just trying to be ‘Okay’.
Sharon says
This has been the most profound reading for me in a long time! Thank you to Marc, Angel & to all that have left responses.
Like some I just Googled ‘I feel so lost’ as I am currently back with my Dad after leaving my husband – although he is an incredibly amazing man, I cannot see the rest of my life with him.
This decision has left me heartbroken & I have wondered if it is the right decision but going back to the post ‘Following your intuition means doing what feels right, even if it doesn’t look or sound right to others’ this has helped me look at myself again & feel what my gut is telling me. It is the right decision despite how awful & sad it is.
I also lost my Mum to cancer 2.5 years ago & although she is with me always, she isn’t here for me to hug or talk too especially through this time. She was & still is my world but my world has been turned upside down/inside out & I am doing my best to come through the other side.
I do believe in angels & I know the universe has a lot more in store for me / for all of us & taking this time of sad & loneliness is getting us prepared for that time.
Every day is a struggle but I know I’ll get through it.
On a side note to Tom : your response matches my world also! But we will get there – we will all get to where we need to be.
Love to you all & try to smile once a day (even if its to yourself 🙂 ) xx
Bill says
I have been single and in my original hometown for three years now. Its a small town and I know all my old friends that live here and when I do see them we still say hi and are friendly. That is why I moved back home. I had a major surgery and can not work right now and have stayed here to be close to my older parents.
Sitting at home every night by myself with no true friends anymore makes life so boring I just don’t know what to do. I waste time on the computer and that is one of the ways I waste time. I have tried dating sites to meet people but no success. I just want a friend. I don’t want to be alone for all my life. I do like this website.
Jeremy says
Wow. This was incredible! You have incredible talent! Being alone does suck, but reading your article helped remind me I’m not so alone! Ending a 5 year relationship is a super sad situation… But this read really opened my eyes. Thank you! 🙂
Lovely says
What’s helping me when feeling lost, alone, forgotten? Sometimes watching TV but know that’s not helping but like a drug it’s painting over only. Reading helps me, good books like the one I’m reading now (Men like God) or sometimes walking. I was never alone in my past, always lots of people were around. So now I’m struggling sometimes as it’s nice to imagine to have someone to lean on a shoulder. This is what I’m missing mostly. Without talking, just feeling understood.. And knowing that this feeling will pass the moment I hear a song I love or I see the smile of my child.
Thank you for this great post, love it!
Sue gill says
How is it you know this. I needed to read these words. Thank you.