NOTE: This post has been updated with new information and moved to here:
18 Important Reminders About Living Up to People’s Expectations
Photo by: Erin
Archives for April 2014
9 Things You Should NOT Have to Give Up to Be Happy
“All happiness depends on courage and work.”
?Honoré de Balzac
“This morning my best friend, Karl, confided in me that he’s having trouble playing a depressed character in our school’s end of the semester play. ‘Call me one of the lucky ones,’ he said. ‘But I just have no emotional tie to the role, and I know it’s hurting the quality of the character I’m trying to portray.’ The kicker, Karl is one of the kids, just like me, who constantly gets picked on by the popular jocks at our school. We’re always being called names, but Karl never lets it bother him. He loves who he is, and he’s happy.”
Those are the opening lines to an email I received this morning from a reader named Darin. The remainder of Darin’s email discusses his personal struggle with finding happiness. “I feel like I’ve given up too much in the pursuit of happiness,” he says. “And it’s only recently that Karl has helped me come to grips with the fact that there are some things I should NOT have to give up to be happy – like giving up my time and energy worrying about the hollow words of teenage bullies.”
Darrin’s words hit home with me, not only because I once let a high school bully get the best of me, but because I know all of us, in all walks of life, have taken a wrong turn in the pursuit of happiness a time or two. And all of us could use a bit more of Karl’s innate self-confidence and poise.
So my hope is that this post helps serve as a reminder: Although sacrifices must be made, you should not have to give up…
1. Your God-given truth.
There will always be people who refuse to respect you – the way you look, the way you talk, the things you say, the styles you enjoy, your beliefs, your interests, your loves, etc. In other words, they won’t support you in being true to yourself. The good news is, it’s up to you if you want to let them mess with your character, or if you would rather stand up for yourself and accept yourself just the way you are. I beg you to choose the latter. [Read more…]
6 Easy-to-Steal Rituals of Extremely Successful People
We ultimately become what we repeatedly do.
Over the years Marc and I have studied the lives of numerous successful people. We’ve read their books, watched their interviews, interviewed them ourselves, worked with them, and researched them extensively. We’ve truly learned a lot from their stories. But above all, we’ve learned that most of these people were not born into success. They simply did, and continue to do, things that help them realize their full potential. In other words, they follow a set of prolific rituals.
In today’s video blog post we’re going to take a look at six rituals you can steal from them and immediately implement in your own life.
Video Blog Post:
6 Easy-to-Steal Rituals (video transcript):
1. Do the work… practice, practice, practice your craft!
Sure you can be good with a little effort. You can be really good with a little more effort. But you can’t be great, at anything, unless you put in an incredible amount of focused effort for a set amount of time every day. It’s as simple as that. Scratch the surface of any successful person with incredible skills and you’ll find someone who has put thousands of hours of effort into developing those skills. There are no shortcuts in life. There are no overnight successes. Almost everyone has heard about the 10,000 hours principle, which states that it [Read more…]
40 Little Ways to Find Happiness in What You Already Have
Happiness is an attitude we act upon. We either make ourselves miserable, or happier and stronger. The amount of work is the same.
“My body sometimes feels sore, but it works. I don’t sleep well most nights, but I do wake up to experience another day. My wallet is not full, but my stomach is. I don’t have all the things I’ve ever wanted, but I do have everything I need. I’m thankful, because although my life is by no means perfect, it is MY life and I choose to be thankful in it, as I continue to do the best I can.”
That’s an entry from my grandmother’s journal, dated 7/20/1977. It’s one of a few entries I photocopied a decade ago, and still have hanging on my bulletin board today. And it continues to remind me that happiness is valuing what you have, and enjoying the people, places, objects and events in your life for what they are. It’s not about making massive breakthroughs every minute… sometimes it’s simply about being, appreciating, and making small tweaks. And you can almost always enjoy the things you have and make the best of the events happening around you if you decide firmly that you will.
No, life isn’t perfect, but it’s pretty darn good. You just have to…
- Embrace your humanness. – Do not endlessly search of sanctity, sacredness, and purity – these things are found after this life, not in it. But in this life you can search to be human – to feel, to give, to take, to laugh, to dance, to get lost, to be found, to love and to lust… to be so unapologetically and beautifully human in every imaginable way.
- Realize your greatness. – Contrary to what others may say, you do not need to rise to the top, or be the cream of the crop, before you can feel great about yourself. For you are not a failure because you’re not perfect, got rejected or laid off, struggle to make ends meet, or have a family with issues. You are great because, despite your circumstances, you keep loving, you keep getting back up after every fall, and, above all, the little steps you keep taking, you take with grace. [Read more…]
25 Things You Should Never Stop Doing for Yourself
Sometimes you have to do what’s best for you and your life,
not what’s best for everyone else.
When I was 16 years old and too young to fully grasp the sensitivity of the situation, I interviewed my grandmother’s friend, JoAnn, who was terminally ill, for a school project entitled “The Speed of Life.” About five minutes into the interview I began questioning JoAnn about her illness and her life situation.
“So,” I tried to delicately ask, “What is it like to wake up every morning and know that you are dying?”
“Well,” she replied, “What is it like to wake up every morning and pretend that you are not?”
Whoa! In an instant, JoAnn’s response opened my young eyes to one of life’s greatest truths: Today is the oldest each of us has ever been and the youngest we will ever be again.
In other words, life is short and the clock is ticking. It’s kind of scary, but it’s true. If there was ever a perfect day to stand strong beside your values, your ambitions, and what’s best for you, that day is today.
So today I challenge you to…
- Never stop stretching and improving yourself. – Always dream and shoot higher than you think is possible. Do not bother trying to be better than your peers or predecessors. Try to be better than you ever knew YOU could be.
- Never stop listening to your own inner voice. – The unhappiest folks are those who care the most about what everyone else thinks – those who let everyone else drown out their own inner voice. So stand strong beside yourself. There’s great freedom in leaving others to their opinions. [Read more…]