We ultimately become what we repeatedly do.
Over the years Marc and I have studied the lives of numerous successful people. We’ve read their books, watched their interviews, interviewed them ourselves, worked with them, and researched them extensively. We’ve truly learned a lot from their stories. But above all, we’ve learned that most of these people were not born into success. They simply did, and continue to do, things that help them realize their full potential. In other words, they follow a set of prolific rituals.
In today’s video blog post we’re going to take a look at six rituals you can steal from them and immediately implement in your own life.
Video Blog Post:
6 Easy-to-Steal Rituals (video transcript):
1. Do the work… practice, practice, practice your craft!
Sure you can be good with a little effort. You can be really good with a little more effort. But you can’t be great, at anything, unless you put in an incredible amount of focused effort for a set amount of time every day. It’s as simple as that. Scratch the surface of any successful person with incredible skills and you’ll find someone who has put thousands of hours of effort into developing those skills. There are no shortcuts in life. There are no overnight successes. Almost everyone has heard about the 10,000 hours principle, which states that it takes roughly 10,000 hours to completely master a complex skill, yet despite sound evidence, so few follow it… except extremely successful people of course.
Whatever you decide to do, do it well. Do it so well that when others see you do it, they enjoy it so much that they want to come back and see you do it again… and they also want to bring their friends along so they can show them how incredible you are at doing what you do.
2. Build trust by standing behind every one of your promises.
If you say you’re going to do something, DO IT! If you say you’re going to be somewhere, BE THERE! If you say you feel something, MEAN IT! If you can’t, won’t, and don’t, then DON’T LIE. It’s always better to tell people the truth up front. Don’t play games with people’s heads and hearts. Don’t tell half-truths and expect people to trust you when the full truth comes out; half-truths are no better than lies.
Regardless of the business you’re in – selling products to consumers, or selling hours for dollars – the only question you have to ask yourself is: “Do they trust me enough to believe what I’m promising to deliver?” Without this trust, you have zero, zilch, nada. If your target market knows you and they’re still not buying what you’re offering, they simply don’t trust you as much as you would hope. Earn their trust, and the rest of the puzzle pieces will be easy to arrange. (Read The Impact Equation.)
3. Focus more on less.
Having too many choices interferes with decision-making. Here in the 21st century, where information moves at the speed of light and opportunities for innovation seem endless, we have an abundant array of choices when it comes to designing our lives and careers. But sadly, an abundance of choice often leads to indecision, confusion, and inaction.
Several business and marketing studies have shown that the more product choices a consumer is faced with, the less products they typically buy. After all, narrowing down the best product from a pool of three choices is certainly a lot easier than narrowing down the best product from a pool of three hundred. If the purchasing decision is tough to make, most people will just give up.
So if you’re selling a product line, keep it simple. And if you’re trying to make a decision about something in your life, don’t waste all your time evaluating every last detail of every possible option. Choose something you think will work and give it a shot. If it doesn’t work out, choose something else and keep pressing forward. Focus more on less, and do your very best.
4. Only use quality tools.
While we’re on the topic of focusing more on less, make sure the only tools you’re using are the only ones you truly need. There’s no point in keeping low quality tools around. For instance, trying to cut through a thick piece of fresh lumber with an old, dull handsaw would be a pretty foolish endeavor. You would have to work extremely hard to make the even the slightest impact. This very same principle applies to everything in life.
Don’t let inefficiency defeat you. If the tools in your toolbox don’t fit the requirements of the job, find someone who has the right tools and barter with them, hire them, invite them into the process of what you’re trying to achieve. Possessing the right tools (and skills) can easily shrink a mountainous task into a miniscule molehill. With a good idea, determination, and the right tools, almost anything is possible.
5. Spend quality time with quality people.
You are the average of the people you spend the most time with. And that’s why it’s not always where you are in life, but who you have by your side that matters most. Some people drain you and others provide soul food. So be sure to get in the company of those who feed your spirit, and give the gift of your absence to those who do not appreciate your presence. There’s no need to rush into a relationship you are unsure of, or socialize with those who hold you back.
Spend more time with nice people who are smart, driven and open-minded about personal growth and opportunity. Use websites like meetup.com to search for local community groups of people with similar passions and goals. These people are out there.
The bottom line is that relationships should help you, not hurt you. Surround yourself with people who reflect the person you want to be. Choose friends who you are proud to know, people you admire, people who care about you and respect you – people who make your day a little brighter simply by being in it. Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the energy and hope out of you. (Marc and I discuss this in detail in the “Relationships” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)
6. Study, rehearse, and get super comfortable with the art of selling.
About a year ago Marc and I interviewed ten extremely successful business owners and CEOs for a side-project we were working on. We asked them to name the one skill they felt contributed the most to their success. Every one of them, in their own words, said: the ability to sell themselves, their ideas, and what they had to offer.
Keep in mind “selling” in its truest sense isn’t an act of manipulating, pressuring, or being deceitful. Selling is explaining the logic and benefits of a decision or point of view. Selling is convincing other people to work directly with YOU. Selling is overcoming concerns and roadblocks, and calming other people’s unwarranted fears. Selling is one of the principal foundations of both business and personal success. It’s about knowing how to negotiate, how to deal with a “no” when you receive one, how to maintain confidence and self-esteem in the face of rejection, and how to communicate openly, honestly, and effectively with a wide range of people so that you can build long-term relationships that garner long-term trust.
When you truly believe in your idea, or your business, or yourself, then you don’t need to have an enormous ego or an overly extroverted personality. You don’t need to “sell” in the traditional sense. You just need to communicate your point of view clearly, cordially, and confidently.
The floor is yours…
So there you have it, six rituals we’ve seen repeated over and over in the lives of some of the most successful people we’ve studied and interacted with over the years.
And today we challenge you to implement one new positive ritual in your own life. It’s all about breaking up your overarching goals into tiny, repeatable, daily actions. So let’s take the idea of mastering a particular complex skill, for instance. Obviously this can’t be accomplished in a day. It’s about choosing a set time every day to practice diligently, and perhaps even tying your practice time to a recurring trigger, like: Every time you walk into your office you will immediately spend 30 minutes doing XYZ.
So please leave a comment below and let us know about one new, positive ritual you want to implement in your life, AND one small step you’re going to take TODAY to get started.
Photo by: Charlie Wollborg
Kevin B. says
Nailed it with this video post! Thanks for being such an inspiration and calling it like it is.
I really liked the way you framed number 6 – associating selling with clear, honest communication. I run a small business and I often struggle with selling my services and creative ideas. It’s crazy how “selling” has a stigma to it in the eyes of the masses, yet it’s such a necessary skill for so many of us. So, again, thank you. Your point of view here was helpful.
Dev says
Loved the video! All of these points make a lot of sense, especially as it relates to professional growth. If we intend to witness true success and happiness, then we better start implementing these rituals. Furthermore, what’s equally important is to make these new positive rituals in place of old negative ones that get us nowhere.
Your advice here reminds me of this quote from your book, which I love and live by:
“You are the only person responsible for your success. The best part of your life will start on the day you decide your life is your own – no one to lean on, rely on, or blame. You are in full control of your future. Believe with all your heart that you will do what you were made to do. It may be tough at times, but refuse to follow some preordained path. Make your own rules and have your own game plan. There is no happiness and success to be found by playing it safe and settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.”
As for my rituals, I really need to focus on #3 and #6 right now. I am often far too scatter-brained and, because of it, I sometimes do not communicate (or sell) my point of view clearly to friends and business partners.
Sonia says
For me, it’s all about #1 – walking the talk every single day. Failure, small steps, persistence and action! This is my focus. I had a conversation with a friend last night who was concerned I would hit a roadblock on my new business and quit (a not unreasonable concern based on past history). I told him this time things are different because I know there will be missteps and failures, but no matter what I have to keep moving forward. I don’t have the luxury to quit this time.
Uvarajan Arumugam says
Dear Marc, Angel,
This video is sweet, simple and straight to the point. I need to focus on ritual 3, 4 and 5. Thank you so very much. I am so glad that I came across this site.
Cheers,
Rajan
Mikey Mike says
Superb post. Thank you! I have learned to embrace #3 (Focus More on Less) and #5 (Quality Time/Quality People). Seems the more distractions that are surfacing over the past five years disguised as “tools” are actually a detriment to me focusing on the core things. That seems to blend in to the next element, spending quality time with quality people. I am working on minimizing those that drain or distract me from the folks I consider “the best” in my life. That is sometimes a challenge – especially if those “best” are looking elsewhere…at all the distractions.
Wan says
No. 2 and no. 6 are two rituals I need to implement in my life. I think there are the hardest of the rituals because you’ll need to be strong and confident to be able to do both regularly. I guess with practice, as we become stronger, these rituals get easier and easier.
Great post, Marc and Angel.
Subhorup Dasgupta says
Dropping in after ages to comment. This post touches on one of the most important aspects of success training – modeling. I especially loved the focus more on less, since I think one of the most counterproductive patterns is taking on too many things as areas of change (or outcome) and struggling to allocate attention to all of them in a high-quality manner.
Z. Sanders says
I got so much from it (as I do from just about everything you share)! I usually don’t reply, but instead pass the blog post’s url along. For some reason today I’m replying. (With many thoughts!).
Point 6 captured my attention. The reframing of “selling yourself” to mean what it actually means . . . Wow! Thank you! Equipped with that definition and sense of the concept, I get it: In that case, I can see that it is true indeed that you need the skill/art of being able to “sell” yourself. Paradigm-shifting for ME! Going forward, that is oh, so going to be help me. 🙂
The last one I’ll comment on is the TOOLS item.
The longer I live the more and more strongly do I concur! And I wonder: Setting budgetary matters aside for a moment, why might we struggle with this?
Thinking aloud for a moment, perhaps it can be hard to abandon a tool that’s “working” because we want to get the most “life” out of things and tools and we want to be good stewards. Perhaps sometimes that’s why we will talk the self out of investing in the “upgrade” or replacement.
Possible response/thought I can take in light of that: It might work to remind myself that being a good steward includes being a good steward over TIME. And swapping out that tool that’s become a hindrance (e.g., it doesn’t work or makes me comparatively slower) for a tool that constitutes “sharpening-the-saw” (Stephen Covey) or a tool that then might go on to function like a “game-changer” for my workflow IS being a good steward over my time. (Because then I can be more available for others and self!)
A last reason that came to mind to possibly account for why we don’t get ourselves the tools we NEED when money is not the issue is that sometimes perhaps the hesitance to invest in a better tool is about our not feeling like we our worthy : “I’m fine. I can manage. It’s okay. I can make do. I just bought a ___ yesterday, and even though I have the money for this additional tool I need, I just . . . You know I’ll just wait.” When that dragon tries to rear its ugly head, I can try to pause and remember: “Saying I’m not worthy is saying I’m not WORTH it, is saying the recipients of my work are not worth it,” etc. Of course this is all relative (one has to do a cost vs. benefit analysis and sometimes then the tool is not the best investment). But if that “worthiness” element creeps in, whether I eventually determine that it’s prudent to get the tool or not, I can try to reconnect with what I know from my spiritual education about the worth of every human being. Pause, stop, remember: “Spiritually, humans ARE ‘worth it,’ so go shopping!” (Just kidding!). In all seriousness, I do need to remember the true why BEHIND a desired purchase before making a decision off-the-bat to neglect pursuit of help/efficiency. Knowing that people and good works are worth it, I can factor that into my budgetary considerations perhaps toward better outcomes and enjoyment of work over the long haul.
Those are my reflections, and I thank you for instigating them via sharing your post content. All of this is SO right on time for me (I’m completing a huge project at the moment). Marc and Angel, many blessings!
Valerie Parv says
“If you say you’re going to do something, do it.” I’ve followed this principle all my adult life, in small things and big ones, until I don’t make a promise unless I can deliver. I write myself notes and the promise nags until it’s kept. This also applies to promises made to ourselves. After a while you start to see yourself as a person worthy of trust, and project that to others in your life.
Lynn says
I’m thinking I need to focus on being trustworthy & spending time w/quality people. I need to be energized not drained when I leave a conversation/social event, etc. And lately, that does not seem to be the case.
BoricuaMestiza says
You guys are amazing and inspire me every day. There are times that I go on an email deletion binge, but I NEVER delete any if yours! 😉
Kim says
One of the reasons I became obsessed with your blog is I can often times find a sentence or thought that is really unique and intriguing. The one I found in this post is: be sure to get in the company of those who feed your spirit, and give the gift of your absence to those who do not appreciate your presence.
What a beautiful way to think about people that have been consistently unkind! Thank you! That statement gives me a lot of joy!
Charlie says
Thank you guys for this post! Its words of wisdom are perfectly timed for me for where my life is now. Having gone into business for myself at the start of the recession in 2008, with nothing more than £150 and limitless self belief, I have recently closed my doors to relocate to the other end of the country to be with my soul mate.
In the last 18months I have recovered from a nervous breakdown, met my wonderful guy, and had the opportunity to train under a worldwide recognised Academy in my favourite aspect of my industry, thus fulfilling my life long career ambition. Yet now I have moved and opened for business, I have experienced a crisis of confidence. Even though I have done it before, without the support I now have, and even though I have only been open for a month. Crazy huh!?
Your posts regularly strike a chord with me, but today’s has particularly resonated because it reminds me that the business model I have DOES WORK and that I just need to keep doing what I’m doing. And also, that whilst I’m not using my skill set every day at the moment as I don’t have the client base to do so yet, I do need to keep practising in the meantime. So a huge THANK YOU for your motivation boost and the kick up the butt that I needed!
Mitch K says
The reason so few people seem to follow the practice 10000 hours to master a skill mantra is that when you look at it, 10000 hours is spending eight hours per day practicising ONLY that skill, for five days a week for nearly FIVE YEARS. So, roughly the training commitment required to qualify to become a doctor.
Most people have to spend most of that time earning a living, raising a family or simply interacting with the rest of the human race (being a spouse or parent). After all, who the hell would want to be married to someone who did nothing but work, sleep and “achieve mastery”.
So, step it down to two hours practice a day every day, five days a week (probably the limit to what most people can manage while holding down a job and not getting divorced/disowned) and you’re getting towards spending 20 years achieving “mastery”. At the end of the day, most people don’t have the patience to wait 20 years to achieve “mastery”. They’ve got bored or real life has got in the way! In other cases, after twenty years the rationale for achieving mastery no longer exists (you’re master of a craft no one wants to use any more) or the cost/benefit ratio just doesn’t stack up.
Angel Chernoff says
@Dev and Kevin B: As always, thanks for the support. Glad you both resonated with this one.
@Z. Sanders: Interesting point how not feeling worthy will get in the way of investing in the right tools (or simply investing in oneself). Thanks for sharing.
@Sonia: You certainly have the right attitude. Keep on keeping on. Good luck to you.
@Mikey Mike: Sounds like you’re working on the right things. Keep rockin’!
@Subhorup Dasgupta: Glad you finally dropped in to say hello. 🙂
@Charlie: Glad we could help you refocus. Honestly, we all lose a little self-confidence from time to time. It comes in waves. Cheers to riding the waves skillfully.
@Mitch K: I agree that investing 10,000 hours of time isn’t easy, which is precisely why so few are willing and able to do it. And regardless of whether exactly 10,000 hours is needed or not, putting a substantial amount of focused effort into mastering something is important if (and only if) “mastery” is your goal. Most of the successful people we have interacted with over the years are indeed masters of their particular field of expertise, and I imagine that everyone would be as successful as them if it weren’t for all the required time and effort.
And this goes for personal success as well as professional success. For instance, if parents don’t spend a substantial amount of quality time with children from day one, there parenting skills (and their relationship with their children) won’t be as strong as they could potentially be.
In addition, from what we’ve gathered with research over the years, most world-class champions – whether athletes, musicians, or scientists – tend to limit arduous practice to about four hours a day. Rest and restoring physical and mental energy get built into their working/training regimen. They seek to push themselves – their minds and bodies – to the max, but not so much that their focus gets diminished in the practice session. In other words, it’s about balancing periods of heavy work, light work, and rest.
Anyway, just some food for thought.
@All: Thanks so much, as always, for sharing your thoughts with us. Marc and I will check back in later to read and respond to new comments (something we love doing). Have a great one! 🙂
David Rapp says
Just some quick commentary:
1. We are too quick praise efficiency versus effectiveness. Something handmade or custom made takes longer to create, but most often has more value than the mass produced replica.
2. Perfect practice vs. normal practice. Michael Jordan, Jerry Rice, Itzhak Perlman, Eddie Van Halen, etc. all practiced 3 ways. Daily, to their limits, and with great passion. That is perfect practice. Not going through the motions, not just showing up, but hardened effort combined with uplifting emotion. It’s that way on the playing field, your work, your home and your relationships. 10,000 hours of practice sounds tremendous, but if it does not have your passion…its just 416.67 days wasted.
3. There is another side of the coin on #6 and #2. Its called being a good customer. Yes, you consume all the time, you are being sold to, being marketed to, asked to join clubs/groups/rewards programs/loyalty programs. DO you know what you want, what you are looking for?
Are you being all the things in #2 as a receiver? How about discerning what to trust when you are the client or the customer? What matters more to you price, quality or the relationship as customer?
Henal says
Hi Marc and angel, the above points are the most spoken of but easily forgotten ones.This was something i truly needed to hear at the moment. Thank you for your aptly timed little doses of positivity! Your articles literally help me cope week after week!
Katleen says
Thank you for another great post.
Ando Mierzwa says
Fantastic advice all around. Thank you!
It took me years to appreciate the power of buying quality tools. Investing in yourself is definitely an expression of self-respect.
As for selling, I prefer to avoid the word altogether and just say educating or sharing. When you educate people about what you’re trying to do, or share the good of what you offer, the rest should fall into place naturally.
alfred says
You really inspire me. Such important reminders. #5 means a lot to our future life endeavors… spending quality time with the right people actually resurfaces the foundation of our success.
Dave Nordella says
My new daily ritual is to write every day.
This ritual is providing with a number of benefits.
– Writing (and of course,editing) content every day requires that I focus to clarify my thoughts in order to be an effective writer.
– Writing daily builds my confidence in my abilities to write.
– The confidence that I am finding through writing daily enables me to persuade others of my skill as a writer.
Thank you for writing this post, Angel. This post was timely for me. You have written content that is timeless in application for everyone that reads your post.
Duck says
Nice post… glad you guys are doing videos. Marc watch those “karate chop” hands. Angel you were perfect!
Lisabeth Rosenberg says
Great post… I wish I could have written it, but I never did so I’m going to share it. 🙂 I like how the two of you work as a team. That would make your collective knowledge so much the richer, like a big brain.
I posting this to may FB Marketing Page where I curate interesting Business and Marketing News. So much has changed over the years (and yet stayed the same).
Matt says
You should be complimented on the brand/blog you’ve built and quality of the message you routinely deliver.
Well done Marc and Angel. Keep up the good work.
Suresh Rao says
Wonderful methods. I am sure you can add one more to it. Having faith in what you do and your own abilities to perform that job. Faith in your own self.
Aqilah Norazman says
No. 2 is what I truly try to implement in my life and in business. You’re right that without trust from our consumers, we have nothing. Don’t take it for granted and always stay real.
Thanks for the post Marc and Angel. Love it. 🙂
Tana Callahan says
#6 is something that does not come naturally to many people and I am one of them. I was told growing up to be humble about my accomplishments. Now that I am a business owner I find it extremely hard to do the opposite when speaking to new clients. This is a craft that requires practice, practice and more practice so that a comfort level is reached with selling your skills.
Anoop says
The best article I have ever read.
@M&A I’ve been reading your blog post since 2011. This one is one is seriously awesome! I have much gratitude for you. You both, and your articles, are helping me immensely.
Thank you so much.
Amanda LaRose says
First off, I love the videos! It’s great to see you and put your upbeat, shining beautiful faces to your words.
I am currently trying to live out my professional and personal dreams and I am finding myself buried beneath a mound of work, responsibilities and quite frankly, chaos. I love the words that you used about keeping it simple when you “design” your life.
I find a nice parallel to those words as I am a designer by trade and understand the significance of that word in relationship to the actual life I would like to have. I am in the middle of a transition from being an employee to working for myself and as anyone who is been through that can attest it is a difficult transition. I am seeing my situation as temporary and using some carved out pieces of time to figure out how I want to “design” my life.
I also loved the proposition of buying into quality. With this mantra you can invest purposefully on your tools and put your full attention into them, and like your craft, learn to wield your tools like a pro. I think this type of focus in critical in composing a meaningful, full and successful life.
Thank you, deeply and truly, for what you do. I can honestly say that you have had a tremendous impact on my life and how I march forward everyday that I am blessed with being on this earth.
Kevin H says
I have this problem with trying to do too much. Like I like to have my hands in more than one cookie jar per se. For example, I launched multiple small businesses and also work my 9-5. I’ve learn that it is better to focus on a select few then try and do everything. So your ‘Focus more on less” hits home. Great reminder!
Kaan K says
That’s really a great post… thank you for sharing this valuable material with us.
Craig says
I think the one that gets forgotten the most is number 1, a lot of people think that success will just come and forget that there is a lot of hard work involved to being successful. Basically if you’re not working at it then you will never get it.
“you can’t climb the ladder of success with your hands in your pockets”
W says
I needed this motivation in my life right now. Excellent insight.
xx
Jackie says
i stumbled upon this blog while browsing Bloglovin’ and was immediately blown away. i had to read every word including all the comments. During the past year my life has been turned upside down and not in a good way. i find myself at nearly age 65 having spent more than half of my entire life being a wife and mother, with no marketable skills and no money. Your #3 really resonated with me ~ Focus More on Less. As i consider my options, i realize that there are every so many things that i am interested in but am unable to choose one of them to really focus on. My plan for today is to make a list of all of these things, rate them in order of importance to me and see if i can see some direction for the next part of my life. Thanks so much for sharing these principles. They may have just changed my life!
Angel Chernoff says
@Jackie: A great exercise is to make a list of all the things you enjoy doing, all the things you’re good at, and what relevant services people might be willing to pay you for. Find the overlap.
@All: Mix in persistence and dedication and we’re all unstoppable. Things are about to get really good. Thanks, as always. Your comments keep me inspired. 🙂
Holly says
This is a really great post!
goose says
#4 is BIG for me!
This concept is crucial when it comes to being productive not “busy”.
Thanks 🙂
Lois Curtis says
I stumbled across this blog today and the 6 rituals piece was just what I needed to read today, especially No.6. Thank you, the article lived up to the title, really motivational!
Lois
JErm says
I am in the process of rebuilding my life from scratch and I simply start the day with a morning walk.
“An early-morning walk is a blessing for the whole day.” ~ Henry David Thoreau
Kellie says
Loved this article, I just found your facebook page and have spent my afternoon reading all of your amazing messages. My husband works in a very self motivating, self driven business (real estate) and his mind set is critical to his success. These sorts of articles are going to benefit him greatly and I cannot thank you enough. Please keep them coming. Thanks again. 🙂
Azaria says
This sure will help me… thanks guys!!! ^__^
Ian says
Wouldn’t attitude be another attribute that successful people have? They have the attitude to get to where they want to be.
A nice post though and interesting to get your take on your study of successful people.
Taylor says
I love when I posts pops into my twitter feed that I need in the moment! 1 and 3 really resonate with me. I’m just starting out in my solo career and it’s really easy for me to want it now, now, now. I need to remember everyone pays their dues. I can also get scatterbrained on my services and not specializing I think has lead me to miss some potential opportunities. Something to think about.
Cathryn says
Your words are exactly what I needed to hear. I happened on your facebook page and I am thoroughly enjoying your posts. My positive ritual for the next few days is every time I get in my car I will recite these 6 core beliefs until I know them like the back of my hand, my step is starting today.
Norma Maxwell says
This is so, so good. #6 is my weakest area and what you wrote, “Selling is explaining the logic and benefits of a decision or point of view. Selling is convincing other people to work directly with YOU. Selling is overcoming concerns and roadblocks, and calming other people’s unwarranted fears.” is going to help me shift my thinking about selling.” Thank you!!!
Shannon says
Great lessons! I think I’ll be implementing PRACTICE. I think that’s the key thing for me. Also, focusing more on LESS. I have an issue with wanting to do too much. So much so, I haven’t mastered anything.
Shweta Chandravanshi says
Thanks a lot Marc and Angel.. I love all your articles. The ritual I need is to practice more to attain the skills I desire.
EL says
Great advice. Being confident and learning effective communication skills will help you achieve greater results in life.