You will never achieve what you are capable of if you are
too attached to the things you’re supposed to let go of.
Many people believe holding on and hanging in there, infinitely, are signs of incredible strength. But there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go, and then to actually do it.
In today’s video blog post we’re going to take a look at some signs it might be time to let go.
Video Blog Post:
Signs it’s Time to Let Go (video transcript):
1. Someone constantly expects you to be someone you’re not.
A great relationship is about two things: First, appreciating the similarities, and second, respecting the differences. So be cordial, but don’t completely change who you are for someone else simply because it’s what THEY want, or because it’s what THEY think is best for you.
If someone expects you to be someone you’re not, take a step back. It’s wiser to lose relationships over being who you are, than to keep them intact by pretending to be someone else. It’s easier to nurse a little heartache and meet someone new, than it is to piece together your own shattered identity. It’s easier to fill an empty space in your life where somebody else used to be, than it is to fill the empty space within yourself where YOU used to be.
2. A person’s actions don’t match their words.
Be wary of people who only tell you what you want to hear. It’s so easy to believe someone when they’re telling you exactly what you want to hear, but you have to watch what they do too. Actions speak louder than words – actions speak the whole truth.
Honestly, everybody deserves somebody who helps them look forward to tomorrow. If someone has the opposite effect on you, because they are consistently inconsistent, and their actions never match up with their words, it might be time to let them go. It’s always better to be alone than to be in bad company. In the end, true friendship is a promise made in the heart – silent, unwritten, unbreakable by distance, and unchangeable by time. So don’t just listen to what your “friends” say; watch what they do over the long-term. Your true friends will slowly reveal themselves.
3. You have a habit of moping and feeling sorry for yourself.
If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it. Being hurt is something you can’t stop from happening, but being miserable is always your choice. No matter how bad things are, you can always make things worse. Negative thinking creates negative results. Positive thinking creates positive results. Period. The only limits to the possibilities in your life tomorrow are the “buts” you use today. Things always turn out best for people who make the best out of the way things turn out.
Eventually you will realize that happiness is not the absence of problems, but simply the ability to deal well with them. Imagine all the wondrous things your mind might embrace if it weren’t wrapped so tightly around your struggles. Always look at what you have, instead of what you have lost. Because it’s not what the world takes away from you that counts; it’s what you do with what you have left. (Angel and I discuss this in detail in the “Adversity” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)
4. You’re clutching tight to an easy-street mentality.
Great accomplishments aren’t easy; they’re worth it! So forget how you feel and remember what you deserve. Right NOW is always the best time to break out of your shell. Chances must be taken, mistakes must be made, and lessons must be learned.
Someday you will look back on your life and realize that everything worthwhile you’ve ever accomplished initially challenged you. And that is as it should be, because big challenges often prepare ordinary people for extraordinary success. Every struggle arises for a reason – either for experience or as a lesson. A great journey is never easy, and no dose of adversity along the way is ever a waste of time if you learn and grow from it.
Remember, an arrow can only be shot by pulling it backwards, and such is life. When life is pulling you back with difficulties, it means it’s going to eventually launch you forward in a positive direction. So keep focusing, and keep aiming!
5. You truly dislike your current situation.
In life, it’s always better to be at the bottom of the ladder you want to climb, rather than the top of the one you don’t. So don’t let people who gave up on their goals talk you out of going after yours. The best thing you can do in most situations is to follow your intuition. Take risks. Don’t just make the safe and easy choices because you’re afraid of what might happen. If you do, nothing good will ever happen.
In addition, realize that it’s not always about trying to fix something that’s broken either. Sometimes it’s about starting over and creating something brand new. Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly. Sometimes growing stronger means growing apart from old habits, relationships, and circumstances, and finding something different that truly moves you – something that gets you so excited you can’t wait to get out of bed in the morning. That’s what LIVING is all about. Don’t just settle for the default settings in life, when you can customize absolutely everything. (Read The 4-Hour Workweek.)
6. You catch yourself obsessing over, and living in, the past.
Holding on to what’s no longer there holds too many of us back. Some of us spend the vast majority of our lives recounting the past and letting it steer the course of the present. Don’t waste your time trying to live in another time and place. Let it GO! You must accept the end of something in order to build something new. So close some old doors today. Not because of pride, inability or egotism, but simply because you’ve entered each one of them in the past and realize that they lead to nowhere.
Even after the toughest times, eventually you will overcome the heartache, and forget the reasons you cried, and who caused the pain. You will realize that the secret to happiness and freedom is not about control or revenge, but in letting things unfold naturally, and learning from your experiences over the course of time. After all, what matters most is not the first, but the final chapter of your life, which unveils the details of how well you wrote your story. So let go of the past, set yourself free, and open your mind to the possibility of a new beginning.
If you feel like you need to let something go, but you simply haven’t been able to do so, know that you’re not alone. Accepting what is, letting go, and moving on are skills that all of us must learn when facing the realities of life, but these are also skills that take time to master. And today we challenge you to put in a little time…
Sit quietly with yourself, and ask, “What’s the #1 thing I need to let go of right now?” Once you have it figured out, leave us a comment below and let us know what you’re going to start letting go of.
Photo by: Lotus Carroll
I need to let go of the guy I’ve been seeing for a year. I should have never gotten involved with him to begin with. He’s married (I’m considered evil I know). He said he was going to leave. We made the necessary steps in order for the transition to be a little less hard. We got a place and then a week before the date of him leaving, he told me his wife begged him to try and he feels like he has to. She doesn’t know he fell in love with me. He thought it would be more painful on her if he told her he didn’t love her anymore. This was 5 months ago. Now I’m in this place that was meant to be ours by myself. He hasn’t tried with his wife. We still see each other. He still tells me I’m the love of his life and he wishes he had the balls to leave, but he doesn’t want to hurt her because she’s a nice person and it would be hard on the kids. He’s always begging me to not leave his side, to be patient with him, to continue to love him. But I’m in soo much pain everytime he leaves me. We have this connection that’s undeniable. We see each other every day and I feel like he was meant for me. We talk all the time. While he’s home he texts me telling me he misses me and loves me. I’ve been patient, but I’m miserable. Waiting and hoping for something that may never happen. Putting my life on hold. I know I need to move on but don’t know where to begin, or how.
You need to find your own man. He will continue to keep you and his wife around and LOVE the both of you for as long as you both let him!
You deserve more, a lot more! Sometimes people don’t realize what they have until they lose it and he needs to lose you. He has no reason to leave his wife because he takes for granted you will always be there. He is blocking your blessings and you aren’t evil! If you stay it will be eventually your fault he won’t leave his wife. Be strong and realize your self worth!
Hey you! First off, you are NOT a bad person – you are simply a person looking for love in the wrong place. I have been in the exact same situation as you. He isn’t leaving her because he is a coward and takes you for granted. As much as you love him, DON’T stick around and wait for him to leave her. Even if he does, he will take time to grieve that relationship whether he tells you or not. And even if you get together after that, your pattern of always being around and taken for granted will CONTiNUE. I’ve been in your shoes – in fact we were happy together after he broke up (she found out and ended it) , we stayed together for 3 years, they had no contact. And then a few months ago they ran into each other and rekindled their relationship! Realize his behavior isn’t a mistake it’s a choice – it’s a pattern – and until you respect yourself enough to walk away from someone who’s comfortable keeping you on the backburner, he will continue to treat you this way. Step out of his drama and into the light, you deserve so much better my love!!!
You do realise that you are a home wrecker in this case? I don’t mean to judge, but just imagine how you would feel if u were in that wife’s position…. You should leave that family alone….you’ll surly get a nice guy…
I need to let go of my ex husband of 14 years. Since we were married their was the other person that never seemed to leave. She wished my oldest daughter and I to die on a trip we were taking one year to meet family. This woman never left my life in 14 years. She always lingered around. Everytime my husband and I at the time would have an argument he would find his way back to her. He would start missing us and we found ways to work things out. But i held on to the past and she was my biggest insecurity because i always knew she would always be around. I decided it was time for to me finally do something for myself after having two beautiful girls and being over weight for over 20 years , i woke up one day and said i am going to have surgery to help me get this weight off so i could feel better about myself and rebuild some self confidence back. Well i did and lost 101 #s in a year and a half. Boy i was feeling great and he would see me and get angry at me at times because i was feeling amazing about myself. One night i was invited to meet some friends and i was so excited to show off the new me. Who knew i was going to get hit on by 3 different men in one night. Well that was all it took was the right one to say the words i needed to hear. Needless to say we exchanged numbers and you know how the story can go from there. I was wrong, two wrongs dont make it right. But i did and i do have my regrets because not only now was i to blame for my divorce but i was the cause of destroying my family. He blames me for everything. I tried to work things out with him and he just refused to because I was now the cheater. I begged him through the divorce and after even up until a few days ago to work things out. Well my biggest insecurity that now has become a reality i find out he is with the woman that never left my life in 14 years and now living with her. He started seeing her through our divorce. Craziest thing was she was married Dec. 2014 and divorce her husband March 2015. Once she knew we were going through our divorce she cheated on her husband to be with him. Sorry for the long story… I blame myself for it all… I cry daily and I just don’t know how to let go. I can’t even be with anyone because all I do is think about him. I get blamed daily and it hurts deep …. how do I let go???
I believe you need to be real with yourself! The circumstances has not changed. I always tell myself when someone want to do it they will. If he is stating due to his concern for his current wife feelings. Than you are not priority. Really understand that clearly. I have been hard so many time, but the number one sign is priorities. I believe he is emotionally attached to 2 women. The more you give your time to someone that is not meeting your requirements. That means you down play your values aND the love you show yourself. When you come to an understanding that you mean first then you won’t settle.
I need to let go of the following things:
1) my current relationship that is so obviously NOT working
2) my feelings of guilt about letting go of my current relationship because I don’t want to hurt the other person
3) Fear….fear of not being who I really want to be, I want to open my soul to the world but that scares me shitless (excuse my language) lol
4) all of the judgmental, lazy, close-minded, unambitious, backstabbing people around me whom I love
5) My extreme indecisiveness…..like seriously
6)Fear of what others may say or think about me. I love me and that should be enough
7)My low self-esteem and body consciousness….it takes a toll on my free-spirit trying to come out.
8)My inability to say “no”
9)Worry…..gahhhhh I worry about EVERYTHING and I hate it because it seems to last for days at a time before something takes my mind off of it then I just find something else to worry about….
10)My religious condemnation, I don’t know what I want to believe in or if I want to believe…
I have let these 10 items single handedly steer my course of life…..not anymore because I am letting go!
Thank you!! 🙂
Literally, i feel the same exact way… :'( everything on the list is me.
My god you sound like me. Scary!
All on your list I can relate to.
You sound exactly like me too!!! Gahh!! Lol
Wow my exact sentiments.
WOW! I am the EXACT same. If you find answers please share!
The mistake. says
I would like to let go of my ex boyfriend, it’s been about 2years and I still think about him, the touch of his hands against my body.. The way he grabs my head to kiss me when he missed me. His eyes when he told me he loved me. & all the nights we stayed up and talked, my favourite is the way he used to love me.. And my tears when I left him.. It all seems so fresh in my memory. But now I have a son with someone I constantly have to over think if I love him or even want to be with anymore because I felt he sucked the life out of me. I’m a proud mother but I wish I could have done everything differently and listened to everything my ex was telling me.
I have decided to let go of a guy I use to date years ago. He has a girlfriend but contact me with all his problems. He use to be on drugs back then and I think he is still on drugs. I wish his new girlfriend knew he is a bad person. He is a liar, cheater and drug addicted. So glad I decided to let him go. Bye Melvin im glad he live hours away!
I need to let go of trying to change me and change my husband all time. It’s time to accept and forgive!
After 21 years I have finally realised that my best female friend was never really a true friend to me. I always had a gut feeling that she was jealous and never really wanted the best for me but only now I can see this. I believe that she was insecure about herself and so in making subtle digs at me, she felt better about herself. All the sighs were there, I was just blind to them. We have drifted apart in the last 18 months due to lifestyle changes and it’s been during this time away from her that it’s become so clear. I have changed and my confidence has grown and I truly believe that she’s fighting to keep me as I was when we became friends: a shy and unsure 15 year old. I’m not scared and I don’t need to follow her or anyone anymore.
I’m trying so hard to break free from her for my sanity and self preservation but she’s making it so difficult. I still love her as a friend but I don’t like what I have allowed her to do to me; I need to break away from her for good. What makes it harder is that she is my only friend but that reason and history alone can’t keep the friendship going. The thought of being free from her gives me hope and peace. I know in my heart that better things will come into my life because of this decision. What’s so sad is that you expect relationships to end at some point but not friendships, I really thought that this one would be life long. I’m ready to let go of her and the guilt that clings to this decision.
I need to let go of Clay. I never thought I would be the “stupid girl”. We were together for 4 years. Part of that time he was married then separated. He dumped me 2 weeks after his divorce was final. He finally realized he didn’t want a relationship. I don’t know how many times i asked if he was sure he wanted a relationship. I feel mislead and used. I lost four years of my life waiting and waiting. I have nothing and he has everything exactly as he wants it. He also cheated on me and had a vasectomy behind my back. I still love him and would take him back in a heart beat. Why can’t I let go of this jerk?
I am letting go of my abusive husband and our marriage that will never be.
I opened a business that I did not do much planning for initially. I am paying rent for the space, but not making any money. It’s causing more financial heartache. So I’m going to close it. Also I was in a relationship for 2 years; I thought it was going well but I guess he did feel the same. I miss him terribly. I think it’s time to let him go.
Today I am letting go of the fact that I may never become a mother. I am not letting go of hoping that, in my life, I will finally be able to adopt, but I am going to stop dwelling on it. I am wasting so much of my present time crying over the fact that I don’t have a child. I am also going to let go of wishing that I was in the past…the time when my mother was still alive. Again, I am dwelling on something and there is nothing anyone can do about it. She would want me to be happy, be strong, and live so that I may enjoy things in the present. I am also going to try to let go of the fact that my brother and sister simply don’t care about me. Again, there is nothing I can do about it, so it is time to move on and stop letting that affect my present and making my heart break. Thank you!
I have to let go of my girlfriend. She’s always running away and blocking me on everything and then wanna work things out. The same cycle has been repeating for the past 1 year. I really can’t do this anymore. I’m just gonna concentrate on my work and build it up!
I have to let go of the man I fell in love with 3 years ago. Our relationship has never been solid. I found out last summer that he has been in love with a married woman for many years. I asked him to cut communication with her but he refuses, saying she is his friend. This is so disrespectful to me. Whenever I express how I feel he gives me the silent treatment for a week or more. I am always wondering if they are talking, as she lives across the country now. I’m constantly feeling insecure and yet my love for him seems to grow stronger all the time. Or maybe it’s just my love for what I wish we could be, not what we are.
OMG !!!!! put the love and respect back into yourself .. he can’t be trusted and never will , please don’t waste anymore of your life trying to change him and wanting and needing him to respect you … pull away… it hurts … but run a mile . I have come out of a 19 year relationship , I loved him sooooo much I would have done anything for him, but bit by bit over the years he has shattered me into little pieces and I am now in the process of putting myself back together again, when someone is telling you that you are their soul mate and how much they love you in between being cruel and messing with your head and emotions its time to go your own way.. honestly .. it took me years to pluck up the courage to do it .. no one can hurt you unless you let them, its because we have made their behaviour acceptable why they carry on doing it. What would you be saying to a friend if it was happening to them? then there’s your answer.
Please don’t think I am being harsh here because that is not the intention . I had to give myself a big kick up the butt, and with the help of the police I broke away, and yes it hurts like I never want to feel again, but y’know it doesn’t hurt anymore than being with him. I am learning to love myself. AND today is the last day I will ever smoke again. I am not brave .. not at all .. but I know whats good for me and whats not and by smoking I am doing exactly what he used to do to me and I am not going to carry on abusing myself.
I am sending you the biggest hug ((((((((((big hug)))))))))))
Take control back of your life and your emotions. You are worth it.
Wow!!! I truly understand your pain, because I feel the exact same way. If only I could turn back the hands of time so many things would be different. My husband now of 5 years together for 20 had 3 kids; a 16 yr old, 12 yrs and never will you believe a 1 1/2 old and I have been with him since I was 19 years old off and on. My life has been a roller roller roller COASTER!!! I am just tired and want to be happy, but for some reason my stupidity and the love I have for my husband is preventing me from doing so.
Very well put! I need to do the same, leave the man I have been with for 10 years. He is the father of my child and I love him but he hurts me inside all the time. I want my family to work and I try and then I feel like I give up, then want to try. Its a vicious cycle. I want to leave but just don’t know how. I am the WORST anxiety today (hence me being on here typing away LOL) I need to know how to take the first step to be ok leaving….my heart hurts…my chest is tight…
I have the exact same problem and it’s eating me up inside 🙁
I need to let go of my goal to get promoted since my superiors are making it so difficult for me to achieve my goal.The feeling is heartbreaking but I need to let go because the stress of asking for the promotion every year and getting reasons why I.am not good enough is really stressful.I am really angry with my superiors and will remember them till the day I die but it won’t make any difference to my life if I won’t let go.So I shall let go and do something else to ease my anxiety.
I need to let go of my ex wife. I changed so much for her that I started to forget who I was. There was no compromising from her end at all. It became an unhealthy marriage. I know I am not perfect and I make mistakes but nothing was bad enough for a divorce. I felt like a prisoner in our home. Now that we are divorce I miss having her with me. I know she wasn’t good for me. I just put so much effort into it. She never trusted me nor gave me my own space. I never cheated on her and I never had feeling for another woman. I was 100% in love with her. I am going to stay single for awhile now because it’s so much easier and it gives me time to find myself once more.
I am going to let go of my (ex) boyfriend. I was, and still kind of am, really in love with him. Things started out great, we had a deep connection. But things changed and went downhill. He always said he wouldn’t lie or cheat but he lied to me many times, and might have cheated on me too, although he always says he hasn’t. He moved out of the apartment we shared together before the lease was up, not saying a word to me..and he told me to get out of his life at one point, so I tried. I ignored his text (he sent me only one a week after he told me to get out of his life saying he knows he doesn’t deserve me) and then a week after that he sent another saying “wow” and that’s it. I was about to block him on Facebook and finally move on when I got that text but I decided to respond. Ever since then it has been so confusing and difficult. We have seen each other and have had sex recently, but every time he leaves my apartment I feel sad. He can go all day without talking to me now which never would have happened at the start of the relationship. I know I need to let him go but it’s just so so hard. It doesn’t help that he is very charming and adorable too..I also get lonely because I live alone now (although I am in a new city) so I want to reach out to him when that happens, especially at night…*sigh* any words of advice would be helpful 🙂
I’m dealing with the same thing. My ex is manipulative too. He would insult me, say mean things, then the next day text me how he loves me. It’s just manipulation. Don’t fall for it. Keep reminding yourself that there is someone WAYYYYYY better out there for you. That’s what I keep telling myself too. Why be miserable “with” him? The pain of a breakup is only temporary. You WILL be happy again and you WILL find another love. Don’t waste any more time or energy on someone who lies to you and disrespects you. That’s not love, by the way.
I have to let go of someone who always lead me on. I dont know why i want to stay in a one sided relationship . he never see my value he never share himself what he see in me is a slut he can call if he needed one and im readily gave my everything even leveling myself at the lowest. i may not have much im considered old . no one will want to marry a 40 year old divorcee with 4 kids. or even love me for who i am. im done giving when for him its just a cheap sex. i cant say i have to value myself coz i got nothing left to brag i destroyed myself bec of love for him. whats left is the little hope i will someday rebuild myself and be a good mom to my kids. i have to let go of the fact that there is someone out there who will be my equal in terms of loving and giving. coz in reality theres none. reality bites.
Today, I will try my best to start letting go of my feelings towards my friend. We are lovers and friends but I know that there’s no hope for both of us to be together in the future. Just thinking about letting him go makes me cry but I know that I have to do it for my own sanity.
Need to let go of a friend I really love and care about. It’s toxic. It paralyzes me in all areas of my life because I linger and obsess over it. It’s worse because they still try to contact me. I have to make daily conscience decisions to stick to my guns. I miss her so much sometimes my urge To contact her gets in the way. But what it really is, is that it’s a cycle. I think it’s familiar and comfortable but when that wears off, it’s sadness, disappointment and regret that lingers. The core problem is that she does not respect me and has no boundaries. I feel devalued. It makes me feel stuck but I’m ready to let it go. I want to live again! And I need the cord cut.
I have to finally let go of a guy whom I’ve been seeing for 6months. He is only a year younger than me but the idea always bothered me. He also just completed high school and by the time he gets to freshman year I’ll have graduated from college. I tried holding on through out the six months hoping that maybe I’ll put that aside but everytime I think about us I don’t see a possible future. I need someone who I feel comfortable with. Letting go of this younger guy is the first step.
I need to let go that I was sexually abused as a child. I will never forget, but I deserve better than being hurt because of what was done to me. I am so sick being still so hurt because of it, because of how my first time was taken from me by force.
I need to let go of my fear of men and love. If I don’t, no one will ever love me.
I need to let go of the fear of not being loved for who I am and letting go of the fear of being hurt.
I need to let go that my parents didn’t give me the love I needed as a child.
I need to let go that I was bullied for most of my life.
I need to let go of my ex, let go of the hurt when he gave up on us and when he broke up with me. In the end I meant nothing to him or else he would have moved in with me, like he said he wanted to. Need to let go of the lie that he loved me and that we’d be together forever. Need to let go that I wasn’t worth his time in the end anymore.
Daniela Colorado says
I need to let go of a toxic relationship of three years. We were engaged at one point and sort of rushed into things. Verbal, emotional and physical abuse took place but I still held on to that little bit of faith that we were going to get better. He was the first one I gave my all to and I got carried away and lived in a dream where what I wanted to happen wasn’t going to happen at all.
It’s hard; it’s taken me 6 months to get over it and now; I am finally doing it. I deserve to be happy.
I’m going to let go of my old life and start a whole new, healthier one. Thank you for helping me understand what I need to start doing.
I need two let go of my partner of 11 years of which we share 3 children. It has always been a relationship built on lies and deceit and I should have left 11 years ago when he hit me the first time. I was blinded by stupid love. I need two let go of my father who committed suicide when I was 11 because he was caught molesting his step daughter, my sister although I was glad he was dead because I was sick of him beating my mum up all the time. I need two let go of my guilt for feeling bad about hating my dad soo much and I need two give myself a break because I have faced a lot and I’m still standing. Mostly I need two let him go because he is the one standing in the way of the person I’m supposed to be not the person I am right now.
I need to let go of the woman I truly love … she has found someone else and tells me she loves me but is not in love with me … it’s the hardest thing to do but I need to let go and move on with my life.
I’m so sorry. I know the feeling. It’s frustrating, difficult, & emotionally tiring.
I have to let go of my ex-husband of 17 years. It is literally killing me emotionally. It has only been 12 weeks since our divorce was final but he has girlfriend that SO serious he has introduced our 3 children & has been on vacation w/ HER parents & KIDS. It’s disrespectful to our children & our past relationship.
I need to let him go. It was an 8 month affair that resulted in me getting pregnant. We used to talk every night for hours, now I’m lucky if I get an email every couple of days. He left his wife at his home and has been living in a hotel for 2 weeks, I’m pretty sure he’s seeing someone else because hasn’t asked me to come see him when he used to jump at the chance to. It hurts so much, our baby is due in January and he told me he’s walking away when they’re born. I might as well walk now because it’s so hard wondering through the day if there’s a new woman sleeping in his bed.
He says I want more than he can give. My needs haven’t changed in 8 months, I have wanted him as much our first night together as I did our last. I think he’s just finally getting bored with me and he wants a new toy to play with if he doesn’t have one already.
Being pregnant, it hurts so unbelievably much. I know he doesn’t love me but I love him so much, I have no rational explanation for why I do. I just want him back, I want our nightly chats back, i want to hear him say again he needs me.
I know he won’t so it’s time to let go.
I’m letting go of my ex husband of 15 years. We have been divorced for 7 months now and it still hurts. He has cheated and lied and hurt our children, he doesn’t deserve my thoughts anymore! I will make an effort every time he enters my mind to squeeze him out. Me and our children deserve so much better. We must begin living for ourselves. I’m letting you and all of the future plans GO!
I need to let go of my relationship with my boyfriend/partner who I have been with for the best part of 10 years. Not only has he lied to me frequently in the past, but I recently discovered after (wrongly I know) installing keylogger software on his computer that he has been having an emotional affair with his first love/ex girlfriend from 30 years ago by email. He also phones her regularly, although her name is disguised as a man’s name on his mobile. I am going through hell as if I tell him what I have been doing ie spying due to my suspicions, this makes me look worse. For months now he has become more distant and I have asked him time and time again for an explanation but he says it’s all in my head. All the ‘signs’ are there for his changes in behaviour etc. but he has shown me a lack of respect and interest to the point I have become depressed and lost my self esteem. Apart from the fact that I have slowly become isolated from all of my friends and family to an extent over the last year, shows what a negative impact this relationship is having on my mood. I can honestly say I’m terrified of facing having to deal with possibly breaking up. I’m not sure I have the strength but the one thing I have done is started counselling over the last 5 months just to talk to someone about what’s going on. I’m not sure it ‘s the solution but it’s a first step I guess. He has never accepted responsibility for blame, and I have slowly become the submissive one in the relationship. I just want to build my life back, make new friends and build my confidence but it’s hard when you have been with someone so long, to get out. I’d be happy to hear from people in similar circumstances.
I know how you feel. I’ve been with my boyfriend for about 5 years now. He broke up with e after 18 months when we first met, and even though it was hard, I moved on. But he came back a year later, and I was sure he was ready to be with me because he came back of his own accord.
Now he has been emailing an ex for about 6 months, and I can’t tell him what I know because I’ve been snooping around on him, but he denies it, and says they’re just friends. I’m behaving like a cray person, and can’t explain it because I can’t tell him what I know. It has made things worse. I love him, and don’t know how to move on. It is the only area of my life that is out of control, and I am ashamed of it and saddened by it.
The thing I need to let go of is the most charismatic, dominant, sexiest, confident, man alive. When he walks in the room electricity flies around bouncing off of us both. I feel like he’s my yang & I’ve never wanted anyone so much & no one’s ever made me feel so alive & sexy. He also happens to be my best friend & has been through thick & thin. We started a friendship about 4 years ago. We’re both married to other ppl & while we’ve never had a sexual affair (because I said no & moved far away) we’ve had an emotional affair for years. I keep hanging onto the way he kissed me & the things he did that only happen in movies (think Christian grey) this man can drive me wild just hearing his voice & can change me from being so mad to everything is fine in a matter of seconds. I wish I could have met him at another time in my life. I keep holding on to the possibility of one day it might work out.. I waste so much time & energy wishing he was mine & being jealous he’s not coming home to me. What makes it harder is my husband is gone for long periods of time & when he’s home, I feel unwanted. I don’t think there’s anything I can ever do to make him mine. He tells me we can’t break apart our families because we each have kids. The problem is, no one compares to him…
I need to let go of having had a bad relationship with my coach and having quieted the team for my own psychological and physiological health. I have to let go of the fact that I didn’t find a way to show my teammates who I truly was, as I could never be myself in that enviroment. I need to let go of lost friendships that I once thought would last forever and have shown meotherwise. I have to let go of the fact that I had a tough year my last, senior year of my college career. I have to let you that I had mononucleosis for months and several health problems that made it difficult for me to enjoy my last quarter in school. I have to let go of the desire of having the best memories from college but that did not happened as I expected, I have to let you go of the fact that I cannot exercise for the moment and feel like I am stuck and not moving forward. I have to let go of this entire year that was filled with suffering and misfortunes. I want to let go and start all over again!
Tanemara Galea says
I need to let go of who I thought I was gonna be with for the rest of my life. She is an amazing person but we have a lot of differences. I need to forgive myself for the mistakes I made in order to set myself free. I find it near impossible wanting to be with anyone else but if I don’t try eventually I will never know. I need to let go of the hope that we can one day be together cause I am only fooling myself and it’s not helping me move on with my life.
I feel that exact same way.
I had someone amazing, then I screwed it all up and Lost her
And now I’m having such a hard time moving on with my life….we will never be again, and it’s all my fault she is in the arms of another guy. I messed up big time..such a huge mistake!
I need to let go of my ex-boyfriend. We were together for 7 years since our late teens. It was all good and loving, but as time went on, the both of us started becoming complacent with each other and growing apart due to fundamental differences in values, opinions, and personalities. The both of us lived in fantasies in which we imagined the best of each other, instead of our authentic selves.
He started pulling away from me and not wanting to be with me as much anymore. Worst, he once intimated, “I’m afraid I’m going to hit you someday”. It sent a chill through my body, but I ignored it. During our last fight, I was drunk and in tears, trying to cling to him, but he pushed me away, saying we were done. Then, the next day, as we were breaking up, he bought me coffee, he gave me snacks, and he hugged me a lot. He kept offering to be friends with me. I only said we’d see. At that moment when I said my last farewell to him, I knew in my gut that I could do better than this. I couldn’t take the confusion and the manipulation anymore. I stopped talking to him at all after we broke up. I started my journey to letting go, forgiving myself, and forging forward.
At times, you just know when to walk away for the best.
It’s time for me to let go of this relationship. He has told me that he is moving out and moving on. I have to accept that I can’t change the situation though I have tried. I need to free my mind of negative thoughts that consume my daily life and remember what I do have in my life and be grateful. I need to get back to living this life God has given. I have to let go!!!!
I need to let go of my ex that I split up with 2 months ago.
I need to let go of negative self talk.
I need to let go of anyone is negative
I need to let go of stressing out and worrying so much.
I need to let go of pessimism.
I have to let go of my husband.
Everyone was worried and warned me about marrying this young (21 year old) and i really regretted my choice. We had been dating for 5 years and think of each other as partners for life, thats why i thought it was ok to get married. Three months after our marriage, I found out that he was having an affair with a co-worker. He wanted a divorce and had 0% care in me. He did things for her that he never did for me all my life. My heart was shattered to a million pieces. I think i cannot live without him so i had to go beg for him back. Be like a dog and listen to whatever he says, including me staying at home while he goes out with her. He even asked me for hundreds of dollars to spend while with her. And i stupidly gave it to him. Still thinking that i cant live without him, I forgave him after hurting me so damn much. On and off quarrels for a year, every quarrel affected my life alot. I couldnt eat, sleep or work normally but he does. Now, we are having a cold war once again. I got so stressed and sad at work that I almost quitted my job
Also, my relative passing away doesnt help me feel happier. My best friend told me that he is affecting my life more than normal. And i should just let go of him. If he really did love me, he would not have done this to me. I need to believe i can live without him.
I need to believe that i can still find a better man.
I need to believe that mr right is going to make me feel like a princess.
I need to let go.
I need to let go of my first love. He is a sex addict and cheated on me multiple times while we were together. Every time we broke up he would tell me that he would work on himself and how much he loved and missed me, and every time I agreed. This last time was too much for me. He told me he wanted to practice celibacy since he knew that sex was his drug. He let me know every time that one of his previous hook-ups would try to contact him and how he would shut them off. No matter what he did, I couldn’t shake the pain I was feeling. When I tried to end it with him for the last time he was so hurt. Telling me how he had finally let himself be vulnerable with me for the first time and how he would never let himself do that again, especially not for me. His words still sting. I love him and care about him more than anything, and perhaps this time was different, but I just don’t know if we could survive after everything. I’m so scared, but I think now is the time to let go.
Tiffany Williams says
I need to let go of doubt, shame, sadness, hurt from a past relationship.
After being divorced 15 years I finally met what I thought was the man of my dreams a year and half ago. Soon after meeting I began staying with him every day. Two months into the relationship I found out he was continuing a relationship with a woman on another coast. While it is not sexual, it seems it was/is emotional. The trust was lost and he never did or said anything to regain it the trust again.
Since that time I have learned of several people he has either seen on lunch dates or simply just attempted to spend time with. My insecurities and jealousy has increased. He says he can’t give me a commitment because I am jealous and don’s respect boundaries. The boundaries piece is because I have resorted to spying on his cell phone and arguing with him about things I’ve read.
This past August I did move out and got a condo. Friends and family are hopeful I will not see him anymore. We have been seeing each other weekly. Crazy as it sounds I do love him but recognize it is making me feel so empty and unloved. Recently i found myself hopeful that maybe he would see me differently being strong and independent. He wants to spend time together but clearly states “we are not together right now”. This tells me his heart is open to someone else. It also tells me that he is most likely not into me or will ever give me the commitment I so need. I see many great qualities and even potential but its weakening. Any suggestion is helpful. Thank you.
Hi. I’m a 30 year old male who just walked away from a decade long “on & off again” relationship about 9 months ago. We both loved each other and were great friends but in the chivalry and romance department much was lacking. I admit that I was the one to blame in that aspect of it all because I wasn’t emotional, romantic, or passionate enough but I did treat her with the utmost respect and was an outstanding listener. I was 100% loyal and faithful to her and she was also loyal to me. Also, I’m extremely opinionated so when she asked for my opinion on any subject (no matter what) I would give it my all. I was very involved in her life as she was involved with mine. We both met each others parents and siblings and had talks to make plans for marriage.
In the last leg of our “marathon” we struggled with a lot of problems ranging from financial issues to lack of communication to heated arguments to unemployment & depression to unhealthy sleeping & eating habits to verbal abuse to harboring bitterness and eventually to overall lack of love & affection. The last year together was an awful train wreck with random happy moments thrown in. A roller-coaster if you will. Our situation went from bad to worse very quickly so I felt I had to end it. I left her and then a month later she found someone else, I became jealous, she kept constant communication with me, and somehow I found myself involved in her new relationship w/ the current boyfriend. And the answer is no it wasn’t voluntary.
They’ve been together a good six months now and the only thing I can do is reminisce on the small details that made me happy and smile while I was with my ex. Her smile, her laugh, her baby talk, expressions, her hair, unique hobbies/interests, culture, opinions, responses/reactions among other things. I miss her very much and am convinced that I’m still madly in love with her. (even aside from the jealousy) I’ve been somewhat obsessing over her for the past few months but now I think its time for me to hang up my coat. There is no evidence or a certainty that she’ll even get back with me even if she does break up with this guy so its time for me to stop wishing & pursuing. As far as I know its a pipe dream, but even so, I don’t think I’ll ever stop loving her as strongly as I do right now. I need to make peace, forget as much as I can, and leave her alone. I got too involved and know too much about her new relationship.
I’d like to let it all go to sever the pain and hurt of missing her so much.
Just Me says
It seems to me that you are already letting her go, block her and do anything possible so you don’t have to look into her new life, focus on you, focus on what makes you, you. Maybe focus on changing for the better for you. I can’t imagine how you feel but I know that time heals all wounds, so keep going, one day, you’ll find the one who will accept all of you, and bring out the best of you. <3 XoXo
My girlfriend left me 🙁 I still love her, day and night!
I need to let go of Darcy, my first love. It’s been a rocky relationship from the get-go. He was 38 and i was 21, he had 3 kids n i had none, we met at a bar n that one night stand turned into a relationship! But here we are 5 1/2 years later n it’s over, im so heartbroken, but a part of me know we are no longer good for eachother. I blame my sf everyday for not being a perfect girlfriend, it’s been a month now n im still hurting, i bother him everyday to take me back, he tells me he wants to be left alone and hes moving on… Why am i putting myself through this
Just Me says
Kelli, before you were with this “love of your life” Who were you before him? everything you accomplished before him, who did that? Was it him or was it you? You right, in that case 5 1/2 years isn’t your whole life. He was just a part of your life, don’t blame yourself for the relationship failing, it just wasn’t to be. At the end of the day, if something is meant to be it will happen, but if it isn’t it just wont. Someone who loves you shouldn’t be putting you through this pain, so love, pick yourself up every time you fall, and one day, you will be standing up strong, because of you <3 Xoxo.
I need to let go of my ex-boyfriend. He was someone who helped me overcome a lot of problems. He helped me see things that I needed to see. We were happy. We laughed; we cried; we made beautiful soul-fulfilling love. But I guess I wasn’t enough or not what he was looking for. He couldn’t accept I was his dream girl because I came with a child that wasn’t his. I broke it off with him because I felt it was the right thing to do although I didn’t want to because I frickin’ love this man. He was already talking to and texting another female behind my back and even though he didn’t physically cheat, he wanted to. I made the decision to break up with him but I’m still holding on to the past because it’s so hard to get past how someone who entered your life and helped you in a lot of ways and who you helped in a lot of ways as well, isn’t the one for you. All of his family members were sad when they found out I broke up with him. His brother told me he thought I was making a mistake and that I should give him a couple of months to figure things out. I keep hoping we get back together. It consumes me sometimes. I need to concentrate on myself and my child. I feel lonely sometimes but I’m letting go, slowly but surely. Painfully but necessarily. 🙁
I was in a relationship with the perfect man. He lavished me with gifts, took me out every weekend, professed his love every chance he got, even proposed. Then, he went away to work at another state. At first, he promised it was only temporary, so we both travelled back and forth to make things work; but then-as long distance would have it- he began to stop the lavishing love, the looking forward to travel every other weekend and even started looking for minimalist of things to pick fights about. Needless, to say I broke it off with him. At the time I thought it was the best thing to do. Little did I know 4 years is a long time to let go of. After six weeks he found a girlfriend, while I stayed true to him.!He wouldn’t answer my calls or texts. Then a week ago he began talking to me again. He broke it off with the girlfriend because he said she just wasn’t me. Now, I love him still but I don’t think I want to leave my family, friends and state to be with him, the person I feel betrayed by.
Just Me says
Marley, you see how he did it all wrong. It wasn’t you, to be honest you just admitted that you were betrayed by the person you love, and the person that was suppose to LOVE you. Let him go, family, friends and WHO you are is the MOST important part of life. LOVE the most amazing feeling in the world, but sometimes LOVE isn’t enough, and deep down you know that. Let him go, and be you again. <3 XoXo
i need to let go of my ex that has left me 6 months ago i was with for 2 years i still have this huge hole in my heart but im stronger now even if i still miss her and the kids. (her kids) im 32 yrs old and have never been this hurt but its time to let GO!
I am in a situation where I love this guy so much, but I know his not for me. It’s difficult to let go but I need to. I’ve never been so confused in my life.
I need to let go of someone who devalued me as a woman from The beginning of our relationship. At the end of it, I tried to find friendships and began to enjoy life again and he treated me like a cheating whore. He treated me like I had no worth and no value in his life. He was so demeaning and cold when I had a mental breakdown and he hurt me and punished me in the most humiliating way. He finally accepted he was
Codependent but didn’t follow through with treatment and I let him control all our time together. When I finally began to break free, he began to spy on me, guilt me for having friends. I’m so dead inside and I have no idea who I am. My friends say I am nothing like who I used to be. I was a free spirit and now I am just barely alive.
I need to let go of the belief I had that I would marry my ex. He left, I denied it, he betrayed me by breaking contact.
I was addicted to a lie.
I am ready to let go of the belief and the deceit- it hurts too much. Onwards and forever.
I need to leave my baby’s daddy. He was my best friend for 5 years and I went on vacation with him to have some fun and became pregnant. He told me he wanted to make things work and I figured why not because I do have feelings for him. I got him to stop his cocaine habits and he just smokes weed now which doesn’t bother me. But I’m realizing now he likes to still drink and have fun with his buddies, totally fine but he has this thing where he doesn’t need to tell me where he’s going, who he’s going out with or when he’s coming home. (Which usually he comes home 3-4 am) he barely helps me with his daughter gets fusterated after trying to take care of her for more than an hour. He has two kids with two other women (that work or worked at ripper bars) I know I picked a winner. This past year he has supported me and his daughter but I have contributed in other ways such as buying furniture for our apartment, painting, cleaning , cooking every day and carrying for our baby basically by myself since I left the hospital. We get into arguments all the time because I just want him to respect me and tell me when and where he’s going. We also get into arguments because I’m very family oriented and he hates family holidays and going to my parents house for dinner. But if it’s holidays and his friends invite us over for dinner etc. He’s bouncing off the walls and can’t wait to go! I’m feel sad most of the time, sort of like I’ve failed myself. I want this relationship to work for my baby girl to have her parents together but I’m hurting myself by staying. Should I just accept who he is and let him do as he pleases and stop asking him to attend my family functions so that we get along better? Or should I leave because ultimately this has been stressing me out, to the point where I’m loosing weight in less then what I was before I got pregnant and my baby is 4 months old. I think because of my stress I get my period every two weeks for two weeks I basically have been bleeding for more than half the time my baby has been alive. I’m struggling because some days I tell myself you need to go and others I tell myself stay you love him and maybe if you just let him be things will be fine. I cry myself to sleep most of the time, we haven’t been physical either because we just keep arguing. Does anyone have any advice or personal experience with this kind of situation?
I’m letting you go Kent . I’m letting go, of all our memories, that keep me coming back. I’m letting go, of the person I once knew, because I don’t know who you are anymore . I’m letting go, of all the hurt and pain that I’m going through, because it’s not worth it anymore . I’m finally letting go, because it hurts too much to hold on, because I don’t feel safe your arms anymore, because I need to love me a little more, because I deserve a man that’ll understand me, and love me for who I am . I’m letting go, because I can’t fix this, because I can’t fight anymore, because time after time you throw me away. I am a passionate, loving, hard working, strong , smart, independent, woman that has the world to offer . You have sooo so much more to lose, then I do .