It’s time to break the habits that have been holding you back. Respect yourself enough to let go of the mindsets and routines that have been sucking you dry.
Bear with me for a moment. You know when you’re driving to an unfamiliar place, blasting the radio while simultaneously watching your GPS spit out directions? Then you suddenly get to that one part of the route that’s ridiculously confusing, so you lower the volume even though it has no direct impact on the way you read the directions?
That is your life. The radio noise you need to cut out to concentrate? That is the needless, energy-sucking noise in your head.
Turning down the radio in the car re-energizes your mind and offers you clarity when you need it most. You don’t really think about how or why this makes such a huge difference, you just know that it does.
Now it’s time to apply this same principle to all the other noise in your life, starting with the noise in your head.
The first step is to eliminate toxic, energy-sucking habits that support this noise. With over ten years of experience as life coaches behind us, here are ten such habits Angel and I have seen thousands of people struggle with, again and again:
- Pretending like everything is OK when it isn’t. – Do you feel overwhelmed? Do you feel like giving up? There’s honestly no shame in it. You are not a robot; and even if you were, you’d still need to stop for maintenance sometimes. There’s no shame in admitting to yourself that you feel exhausted, doubtful, and low. This is a natural part of being human. The simple fact that you are aware of this means you are able to turn things around. It’s okay to fall apart for a little while. You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there’s no need to constantly prove that everything is going well. You shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking either – cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your tears. The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.
- Letting pain from the past devastate the present. – I am stronger because of the hard times, wiser because of my mistakes, and happier because I have known sadness. The same is true for you. Every difficult conversation you have had included someone who was teaching you something about yourself. Every trying situation contains an opportunity for deeper self-reflection and learning. Every irritant, heartbreak, frustration, disappointment, and fearful moment is a teacher. Remember, nothing is as bad as it seems. Nothing. There’s a benefit and a blessing hidden in the folds of every experience and every outcome. So don’t you dare give up on today because of the way things looked yesterday. Don’t even think about it. Every day is a new day to try again. (Read The Road Less Traveled.)
- Believing that your best days are either in front of you or behind you. – You spend your whole life stuck in the labyrinth, thinking about how you’ll escape one day, and how incredible it will be, and imagining that pristine future keeps you going, but you never do it. You just use the future to escape the present. This is precisely what keeps so many of us stressed and unhappy. The flipside is true as well – obsessing about the past. What you need to accept is that there are only two days in the year that nothing can be done. One is yesterday and the other is tomorrow. So today, this moment, is the right time to love, to laugh, to work and to live boldly. Yes, this moment needs your undivided attention, for this is the only time and place you are truly alive.
- Trying to hold on to who you were before one of life’s storms. – Hard times are like strong storms that blow against you. And it’s not just that these storms hold you back from places you might otherwise go. They also tear away from you all but the essential parts of your ego that cannot be torn, so that afterward you see yourself as you really are, and not merely as you might like to be. This is a great thing. It may seem impossible now, but one day you will look back at the storms you have weathered and give a silent thank you. For many of us, it is the storms of our lives that have given us compassion, kindness, and gentleness that we otherwise may not have known – and that we can now give away to others, because these qualities are inside of us. (Angel and I discuss this in detail in the “Adversity” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)
- Resisting change and growth. – You must consistently check with yourself and ask: “Am I committed to feeling good, or am I committed to growing?” Because growth does not always feel good, and feeling good does not always provide growth. Neither is wrong, as long as there is balance. The important thing is to remember that being uncomfortable is important too, and this discomfort often arrives right on time. Don’t avoid it – embrace it. Channel your energy into progress. All growth begins at the end of your comfort zone. When you’re feeling uncomfortable, know that the change taking place in your life is a beginning, not an ending.
- Worrying and worrying and worrying and never taking action. – Worry is the biggest enemy of the present moment. It does nothing but steal your joy and keep you very busy doing absolutely nothing at all. It’s like using your imagination to create things you don’t want. Break this negative habit! It is far better to be exhausted from effort than to be tired of doing nothing but worrying. Don’t waste your effort avoiding effort. Go ahead and get it done. Today, ask yourself what is really important and then have the courage to build your day around your answer.
- Sacrificing all of your Self for everyone else. – Don’t sacrifice yourself too much, because if you do, there will be very little left that you can give to anyone, even those you love dearly. Whenever you feel trapped and it’s difficult to breathe, let me remind you – don’t forget to secure your own oxygen mask first. Taking care of yourself does not make you selfish; it makes you selfless. In fact, it’s the truest form of selflessness one can experience. Only through attentive self-care can you care for others. In order to truly have a loving, supportive relationship with someone else, you need to learn how to be your own best friend first. It’s all about falling in love with yourself first and sharing that love with others who appreciate you, rather than looking for love to compensate for a self-love deficit.
- Taking everything personally. – There is a huge amount of freedom that comes to you when you take nothing personally. And rarely do people do things because of you anyway. They do things because of them. So even when it seems personal, it probably isn’t. Remember this. And when you find yourself feeling angry, heartbroken, or victimized by the actions of another, see if you can you find within you any seed of softness, some place deep within that understands how much pain that person must be in, how burdened their soul must be, how devastatingly hardened they must be in their heart in order to behave in a way that is surely out of alignment with their own integrity. (Read The Four Agreements.)
- Letting negative thoughts get the best of you. – Don’t believe everything you hear – even in your own mind. Choose to be miserable and you’ll find plenty of reasons to be miserable. Choose to be happy you’ll find plenty of reasons to be happy. It is this simple 99% of the time. Talking about our problems is our greatest addiction. Break this negative habit. Talk about your joys, your loves, and your dreams instead. Be outrageously and unreasonably positive. Be funny and creative and ridiculous and joyful all at the same time. It’ll make you feel better.
- Refusing to let go a little and open up to uncertainty. – True happiness takes courage. I’m talking the vulnerable, put yourself out there and risk looking like a fool sort of courage. It’s not easy, to push the limits of your vulnerability, to dig deeper and deeper into the core of who you are as an individual and not only love and accept the imperfect parts of yourself, but also expose them to others. You’ve got to be willing to break free from the norm, appear uncool and stop caring so much about what everyone thinks. It’s about taking a stand. In fact, we’ve ALL got to take the time to slow down, to break away from the crazy pace in life and take a minute to sit and stare at the sky without checking for the next text, watch the sunset without uploading it to Instagram, and just free ourselves to be ourselves. We’ve got to shelve our egos and say “yes” to the present moment, to love, to opening ourselves up to being hurt beyond hurt again, and above all, to saying “yes” to taking chances.
The floor is yours…
If you can relate to any of these toxic habits, remember, you are not alone. We all get caught up in our own heads sometimes, doing things that hold us back from our true potential. The key is awareness – recognizing these habits and changing them.
So, what’s one toxic habit or thinking pattern that sometimes drains your energy? How do you cope? Leave a comment below and share your insight with us.
Photo by: Lauren Rushing
Very helpful thoughts! Thank you. The two energy-draining habits I need to give up:
1) Trying to control everything (including what already happened) – this only leads to disappointment and unhappiness, because you have to accept that some things are just beyond your control and in the past.
2) Worrying about my failures – This used to cripple me.
And this quote from your book has been one of my guideposts for giving these negative habits up:
“Give up worrying about past failures. Accept your past without regret, handle your presence with confidence, and face your future without fear. You are today where your thoughts and actions have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts and actions take you.”
Emotional blackmail by my mother for years since I was young. Trying to detach from her guilt always sneaks into my mind to try to cripple me. Since my father died it has gotten worse to the point of her expecting me to support her financially in a place she can’t afford to live. I’ve told her to move in to a place she can afford but she argues with me about that too. It’s tough, but I have decided no to give her any money to stay where she is at and no communication with her because it is so toxic for me.
Most people, myself included, have a bad habit of believing “life owes me something,” because of the environment we were raised in as a child. Shaking off the ’stink’ of a crappy childhood isn’t cut and dry or easy. It can takes months or even years of self-reflection and counseling. You must be willing to forgive your parents, grandparents, etc. and have the courage to choose a different path. This may include severing ties with those you call “family.”
Also, there’s no guarantee that because you take action (inspired, or not) you’ll receive (fill in the blank). If you’re chasing a dream that isn’t meant for you, you can waste a lot of time and energy. You have to know when to cut your losses and find something else to do.
Being “stuck in your current life situation” is tricky because if you want to move to another city, state, or country, it takes money. If you don’t have the funds to move then you will be “stuck” in your current life situation. However, you could take steps towards moving by finding a day job which will provide you with a means to an end: money so you can move.
I think it’s important to examine any false belief you have because it may not be yours. You could have picked it up from your parents, grandparents, teachers, friends, siblings, etc. If you discover that a false belief is not yours, drop it like a hot potato and choose another belief that works for you. 🙂
Sandra Pawula says
The blasting radio is such a fabulous metaphor for our noisy lives!
I can honestly say that most of these patterns don’t have a strong hold on me, but I still have work to do on worrying and take things personally. It feels good though to see how far I’ve come.
A Beautiful Patience says
Hello all! For Tanika and me, the negative/toxic pattern that we consistently engage in is waiting until ‘we feel like it.’ The false belief that ‘we will get around to it eventually’ has left us blocked us from changing as quickly as we’d hoped. We cope by embracing the realization that we have to start some where and that the present offers us a great opportunity. The act of choosing to decide is such a Godsend because it gives us more power than we’ve previously thought! It also certainly helps reading great articles such as these!
@Amandah- Today, I just wrote a post entitled, On Lemons and Entitlement talking about entitlement thinking.
Take care and have a wonderful week!
Tasha and Tanika, Writers for A Beautiful Patience
Jeff Ray says
You guys are hitting closer and closer to home with every post I read. Or maybe I’m moving “home” closer to where it belongs. Either way, I’m appreciative.
One habit that I’ve let get the best of me in the past is thinking that “What others think matters most.” No it doesn’t. I now realize that what others think about you is none of your business (for the most part). It primarily reflects on their own views and perspectives and limitations. What matters most in your life is how you feel. Live for yourself, not for the approval of others, and you will find happiness.
Man, #2 really hits me hard because I cannot tell you the number of times my parents and aunt didn’t stop shoving my past failures down my throat. Even when I told them that it was irritating and embarrassing, but they refused to listen and they think it “helps” me proceed.
Still, it just took them years to realize that constantly reminding me of my past failures doesn’t help me at all. It poisons me. Just look at them, my brother was much, much worse and they NEVER shove his past failures down his throat.
This is a wonderful post! This is really helping me with my worries and anger. This post shines a joyous light over the dark cloud of cynicism. Marc Chernoff, thank you so much!
Thank you for your emails. I read them all and purchased your book too – it’s great! 🙂
Odd that there is lots of press now about ALS. My sister has it and is getting much worse rather quickly fast. Do you have anything written that would help someone who is in her position. She won’t get through this alive I fear. My heart is breaking for her. She is unable to do even simple things. She is as you can imagine in a terrible emotional state.
I’m sure most people can relate to this! I’m glad I ended up reading it, and thank you for putting it on paper 🙂
Fiona Cook says
I would like to add;
Putting responsibility for your own happiness in someone else’s hands.
And I know you already discuss this, but in the past I have been guilty of this and see it so much In others.
The constant dialogue, thought processes, speculating, analyzing about other people in your life and their behaviour…and if only their behaviour was different so too would be your life, better, happier, shinier… The moment that you have the epiphany that you are all you need to make you feel…content, satisfied, without want, full of gratitude….would that be happy?
It is so simple! So many people sat to me it’s difficult to be happy, to have confidence, to be accepting..
But it is not…..it’s so easy and so simple. It’s your head making it complicated.
Now that particular toxic habit is exhausting!
Just a thought whilst writing this…maybe we should all individually define what we regard as “happy.”
I think a simple exercise of writing down the components of being “happy” as you see it would immediately identify what parts of your life are waiting to be “happy”, what areas are “I would be happy if..” Who’s behaviour needs to change to make me “happy” And maybe identify where gratitude is not active enough?
Humongous, huge, titanic, monstrous word…”happy” don’t ya think?
All that expectation, failure, success, acceptance, self love in such a small childlike word.
Yet it is an absolutely perfect word as a child…
Wonder, delight, complete self unaware, trusting, believing……happy.
Mine is definitely thinking that somewhere along the road I took a wrong turn, or had the wrong start in life, and that nothing will ever be as it should be… so I take a very negative view on everything that is. All those “If onlys” that haunt me! It causes huge amounts of toxic shame, which has become something of a game. How much toxic shame can I generate today? Go on, you can do better than that! The strange thing is that no one on the outside would know that anything like this is going on in my inside. Somewhere the real me got buried, or I buried it. I think the only way to cure toxic shame like this is to do whatever it is you always wanted to do. You have to find that path, and I think then everything falls into place.
I remember earlier this year there was a period of time where I felt like everyone else needed me more than I needed me. I gave all of myself to all of them, and it stressed me out beyond belief.
The thing I realized was that others were doing all the taking and nobody was giving to me. I kept waiting for the favor to be returned but it wasn’t.
Once I realized this and started taking care of myself, I started to feel better. I was able to be better for myself and those I loved. Because I wasn’t holding resentment or expecting others to give me what I thought I deserved.
Some of your points really hit home about that time in my life.
Melissa Wilson says
These are all really important habits to be aware of. They can do so much harm without us actually realizing it. If we want to be the person we are capable of being then we have to stop being our own worst enemy.
I am guilty of taking things too personal and getting too emotional with my husband. I want to stop it but my husband is not helping matters,he does not know how to speak to a lady or at least to me. He is good and everything but not with his verbal expressions . How do I overlook that aspect of him because it is affecting me. I have tried talking to him but their is no improvement.
#6 took me the longest to learn! I was a worrier and used to be afraid to take action. I now know that nothing changes unless I take that first step. And when I do take that first step, everything changes! It’s like I’m on a different path… and as if the path leads me on…
I take everything personally. Many of these resonated with me in some way, but especially #8.
But it’s not that I have trouble forgiving people, or seeing where they’re coming from. It’s the contrary, I always see their point of view, which leads me to the conclusion that I should try harder, I should learn to behave in a way that doesn’t make them feel bad, or angry, or shamed.
When people criticize me, I listen to their negative feedback, take it to heart and try my best to realize where I went wrong. But sometimes, it’s actually they who are wrong! Sometimes they are acting “out of alignment with their own integrity” as you put it, sometimes their integrity is out of alignment with mine.
I have no idea how to see what’s what in these situations, and always end up taking the blame, always feeling like a bad person who must try harder to improve.
I was in a relationship like the one described by “Loveth” for many, many years. I finally took myself seriously enough to realize that I wasn’t getting my needs met in that situation. But I am still devastated that it had to end, that I couldn’t make it work. In retrospect, what I should have done, of course, was to work harder at communicating my needs, instead of putting all my energy into the hopeless struggle of becoming less emotional, of changing myself into something I will never be. My heart goes out to you, and I hope you will find the strength to reach through to your husband. It is not acceptable to be treated in a way that makes you cry. You are who you are, and if they love you, they really, really need to accept that.
Great insights Marc. Also its very important to stay away from a negative environment. Just by changing the environment from a negative environment to a positive environment can be big step to feeling better.
Thank-you so much for this post, I really needed it!
I was engaging in all of these toxic habits, to some degree I still am. I have recently had very bad anxiety which has lead to insomnia and panic attacks – I realise that most (if not all) of this came from these toxic behaviours.
It took a huge emotional breakdown on my part in order to realise that things needed to change, that I needed to change – my behaviour, my thoughts and my actions. The first decision I made was to focus on me and what I needed to do to feel better – this is extremely difficult and uncomfortable, but I know that I need to do it in order to grow and to be happy again. I’ve had to simplify my life: this included me having to stop taking my Uni classes this study period, reducing my study-load to part-time study, and saying no when I can’t do something instead of trying to ‘fit it in’.
At the moment I am incorporating exercise and healthy eating back into my lifestyle (as they had fallen by the wayside during the last month), I’m trying to focus on each day as it comes; to focus on what I’m happy about and grateful for each day. I think the most difficult thing for me is to admit that something is wrong and that I need help. I’m working on it though!
Telling family, friends & my doctor what I had been dealing with was very hard and emotional, but I feel so much better now with a bit of the weight lifted off my shoulders.
I know that I will still struggle with these behaviours, but I now know how to deal with them in a much better, and healthier way.
So here is the “rub”. The title of this post has to do with “habits”. By their very nature habits are things that are difficult to stop doing. Many of us (me) have been “practicing” these habits for a long long time. In my case probably over 30 years…thinking that somehow they work to accomplish something. I’ll take just one example…..having to do with letting the past devastate the future. You write…..”So don’t you dare give up on today because of the way things looked yesterday. Don’t even think about it. Every day is a new day to try again.” This is true but how does one give up a habit that they have “depended” on to possibly preserve their ego or some other strong reason? I can remember thinking in this destructive way since I was a teenager. No matter how good the present was I overlaid the past onto it and eventually did this more and more. I have read the Road Less Traveled, Many RET books, have been in therapy on and off for numerous years and yet can’t seem to let go of the past and what I now see as patterns in behavior that I let myself continue to repeat. It is as if I have painted myself into a corner and can’t get myself out. It is as you write that the “storms” of life have blown away significant parts of myself and now I feel that I nothing left to “work with”. I have gone through many many changes in my life moving toward focusing on what was best for me……and just when I had all the blocks where I thought they needed to be………(Of course the old story)…..Everything fell apart (due to many of the habits you mention) and I lost things that I had worked many many years to build. What I need is to somehow revitalize my spirit which over the last 10 years has gone dark. I gain some hope from reading your posts and trust that with time and re-focus I will move forward again.
All this is so true, I could not relate more to anything else right now. How do you do it each time? I’m definitely going to implement these points in my life. Thanks for sharing!
My age and comparing myself to where everyone else is at. I am right in the thick of a failing business, failed marriage and the reality of starting over with nothing to show for my 7 years of hard work on both other than a huge amount of debt and divorce. I need to somehow destroy my toxic thoughts and replace them with some type of hope. Anyone have any spare hope lying around?
I used to do #1 a lot but now, I tend to just go with it instead of trying to pretend nothing can ‘touch’ me.
Just have to be careful not to get swept up in it all so much so that it drags on for longer than necessary.
Crying can sometimes clean my head to feel strong again… Then, I can wake up with the smile on my face. Every today means a new opportunity to try new things for me. Don’t ever postpone your dreams for tomorrow! On the other hand, the habit number 7 is a tough one. Sometimes you want everybody to be happy and forget about yourself. It’s my case quite often. I like your idea about learning to be my own best friend first. I haven’t thought about it this way. This article helped me to realize many things about myself and I put in in my bookmarks so that I can read it more times later. Very inspiring! Thank you!
Sebastian Aiden Daniels says
This list comes at the perfect time for me. I can definitely relate to all of these. I had a tough week last week because a lot of these. I got through the other side and have a lot more clarity and understanding because of it.
I think letting people in is the hardest and at the same time it is the most beneficial. I fear it everytime and at the same time, it really hasn’t ever hurt me in the past. It has just been of benefit.
I also think that living in the past is tiresome and burdensome. Focusing on the present has helped me in a lot of ways. It is a continual process because my mind likes to go back or think forward and at the same time I experience the most peace in the present. It is ridiculous how much time we spend in our heads in the past or future rather than enjoying what is happening to us in the present.
Sara SS says
I am choosing to focus on an attitude of gratitude. Initially I was mentally compiling my daily list while I walked my dog. This week I started writing five things in my journal so I can go back and review them when I hit a negative wall. They must be different from day to day, and at least one needs to be about my husband. I am in a negative space and hope this small task will spill over into my heart and mind in bigger ways every day. I am seeing small results and for this I am grateful. Thank you all for sharing your struggles and wisdom
Alison Phillips says
I wouldn’t have thought up all of these by myself, but I can certainly say I’m guilty of them all at one point or another. Maybe it’s about how long we let it keep us down, or how long is allowable to feel sad or down about something before moving forward, because at the other end of the spectrum is not feeling at all, and apathy may be just as bad.
I just love your blog and posts. I’m in the “trying not to sacrifice too much of myself” point. HA HA – But it’s so true!
I identify a lot with what you say. Sometimes it feels like we are crushed by the weight of what has happened and our “toxic” thoughts. Without others to remind us that there is hope in the midst of the pain it can almost feel unbearable. So I am sending you some of my spare hope to let you know that others are thinking of you. -Zel
Negativity. #9. Yup, that’s one that should go. It drains me to have an internal negative dialogue often about things I have no control over.
That’s a great list.
It’s so important to let go of the the past and not worry yourself continually about the future. I was lucky to find a wise counselor who helped me see this. However, life continues and you need to continue to let go and not worry.
Rita, blogging at The Survive and Thrive Boomer Guide
Marc and Angel,
I haven’t visited the page in a few days, but I must say that I am VERY happy I stopped by to read this empowering article. I struggle with number one and number 2 in particular. It’s beyond draining to have all of these things going on in your life and feeling like you have to pretend that everything is going great. The art of release and letting go is something I am still trying to master.
Marc Chernoff says
@Amandah: As always, great message. Welcome back!
@Debby: I am so sorry to hear about your sister, I think she could benefit from this article: 6 Reasons You Aren’t Dead Yet (Good food for thought for all of us.)
@Fiona Cook: I love the “happy” exercise idea. I challenge each of you to give it a try and see what you discover about yourself.
@Nickolas: With that being said, what path are you going to take?
@Diana: You started feeling better once you made yourself a priority. A lesson we could all practice more often. Thank you for sharing!
@Loveth: I don’t think this is something you “overlook.” You deserve respect. Just because it’s not physical abuse doesn’t mean it’s any less hurtful. Ask him if he would speak to his mother or daughter that way?
@Justine: You’re growing by leaps and bounds. Continue the hard work. It’s worth it… YOU are worth it!
@Zel: Forgiveness is the remedy. It doesn’t mean you’re erasing the past, or forgetting what happened. It means you’re letting go of the resentment and pain, and instead choosing to learn from the incident and move on with your life. Remember, the less time you spend hating the people who hurt you, the more time you’ll have to shape your present. Make the choice to start anew today.
@Jacy: Life always offers you a second chance – it’s called tomorrow. But this second chance doesn’t mean anything if you haven’t learned from the events of today. You have to acknowledge your troubles but gather strength from them, and laugh at your mistakes but learn from them. Getting a second chance in life is about giving yourself the opportunity to grow beyond your past failures. It’s about learning as you go and positively adjusting your attitude and efforts toward future possibilities.
@All: When we are aware of these toxic habits, we can take action every day to slowly release them. Many great examples of how can be found in the comments above. And for that, we are grateful. Thanks for sharing your wisdom with us.
Janice Taylor says
I can certainly relate to number 1, pretending that everything is all right when it really isn’t, especially to other people.
A really helpful list.
I have been subscribing to your blog for two years now and I thoroughly enjoy it. Sometimes I admit to quickly skimming over a few of your posts simply because I feel like a topic doesn’t really pertain to me (like this one). However, I took the time and read through this one slowly and SURPRISE! I can take away MANY great points to remember. Lesson learned.
Captain Kirk says
Marc and Angel….
Thank you for the variety and abundance of articles to move us FORWARD >>>>> in personal growth and achievement.
“don’t forget to secure your own oxygen mask first.”
This statement – included in number 7, was a shocking reality check for me! Most of my life, I generously offered most of my oxygen to my wife and three children. Consequently, my oxygen tank level was on EMPTY.
Fortunately, I recognized the urgent need to refill my own oxygen tank, before, I became “unconscious” of my personal (selfless) need to plug into MY own life……and find a path to “fully charged” again.
This was a painful lesson, and required some adjustments in my lifestyle; however, it was one of the most important decisions that I have made to improve my quality of life, and still be family- focused.
Our minds are our greatest strength – and our greatest liability if we let our inner judge rule and stop us from stepping forward and growing. Just love the quote “Taking care of yourself does not make you selfish; it makes you selfless.”
We’re so good at beating ourselves up, getting caught up in the judgements others have of us. Time to cast off the “Monkey Mind” and be at peace with ourselves so we can move forward.
I am thinking “blame” would be a great addition to this list, don’t you think? Blaming others builds up resentment, blaming ourselves drags down our self esteem, blaming some greater outside force like “God” or “fate” makes us feel helpless. Just bad all around I’d say. Great list by the way.
I am not able to decide what to do in life. My self confidence has gone down very badly due to cheating and backstabbing by everyone related to me. I feel used and thrown. I want to do stand on my feet once again morally and financially. But due to lack of self confidence, I feel something is pulling me back. Can anyone here give me some advice?
I think the first step you have to take is avoid blaming yourself for any cheating or backstabbing you’ve suffered. Keep in mind you don’t deserve any of it.
Second, forgive yourself for any mistakes, choices and indulgence you have given to those people Don’t get stuck thinking about what you could have done to avoid those to act as they acted
Third, tell yourself how amazing you are. How able you are and how strong you are. Just think of what might give you pleasure as for work and go for it. It might be difficult to figure out in the beginning but on the bottom of your heart you know what would you give the extreme pleasure as a work activity.
Hope it could help you. Don’t permit the troubles to carry you out of your life.
Hello, thank you very much for the article. It is very impressive and makes you really think about personal stuff. I do not have anyone to talk to about my current situation because I’m afraid nobody around me will understand. So for the moment I feel lost and alone. But I will try to find my happiness again. Thank you again.
Learn to be in peace regardless of any situation. Peace in the heart could be attain if one practice meditation on reciting Amituofo in the heart during walking, sitting or any moments happening in a day. Just be mindfulness thru the realization the true facts of relationships one with the whole word perhaps the universes as well. God Bless / Amituofo.
Thank you for the post! Reflecting… I have a huge problem taking things personally. I tend to internalize things that have nothing to do with ME. I’m going to learn to say, “it’s not ME. It’s THEM.”
My wife is an emotional super vampire draining me each day. Today she got angry because I mentioned that my mother made me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich go figure.