Some changes appear negative on the surface but when you look back you’ll see that your deepest pain often gifted you with your greatest lessons. The same way coal is only transformed into diamonds because of intense pressure, only through our challenges will we be changed.
Truth be told, life isn’t always easy; but if you can find opportunities in your oppositions you’ll spend less time wishing things weren’t so hard and more time being grateful that they are.
Rest assured – happy people are not immune to hard days, heartbreak, or feeling like a fool! The difference is they turn frustrations into fuel and rebuild from the pebbles they discovered after hitting rock bottom.
If you’re having a hard time seeing the beauty in the ugly things life has handed you lately, here’s some truths happy people are already facing that could help you too:
- If you want the benefits of something in life, you have to also want the costs. Most people want the reward without the risk. The shine without the grind. You are praised in public for what you practice in private. You can’t have the destination without the journey. Instead of thinking about what you want, first consider: What are you willing to give up to get it?
- You are going to be inspired by your dreams and also terrified by them. Don’t run from the things that scare you, chase them. Do work that keeps you up late and wakes you up early. Don’t be persuaded by the “stability” in practicality – you can fail at something you don’t love too, so why not take a chance on what you do love. There’s no promise that passion will pay your bills, but you’ll never hit a home run if don’t step up to the plate. (Read Quitter.)
- A comfort zone is a beautiful place, but nothing ever grows there. Easy things will never make you proud. The same walls you build to protect yourself will also imprison you if you build them too high. The biggest dream killer isn’t a lack of opportunity or talent, it’s the addiction we have to our comfort zone. Fools believe they can conquer fear. But those who go far in life understand that uncertainty will never quite go away when they are doing great things. They are prepared to walk beside it everyday for as long as it takes to get to where they want to go. Don’t let fear be a stop sign. Instead, use it as a roadmap to a life well lived.
- If you want to see what’s holding you back, look in the mirror. It’s you… and only YOU 99% of the time. The toughest battles you’ll ever fight will begin between your own two ears. Before you get the rest of the world onboard, you’ll have to convince the biggest critic of all – YOU! There are a lot of things that are going to get in your way in life, don’t let yourself be one of them.
- Being “realistic” is the fastest traveled path to mediocrity. Small people will doubt big dreams. It’s easy for people on the sidelines to doubt and judge when they aren’t taking any risks themselves. So don’t dim your light just because it will hurt someone else’s eyes. Don’t let a drop of your self worth rely on their acceptance of you. Decide you’ll do it with or without them. They may call you crazy when you’re just getting started but they’ll label you a genius once you’ve succeeded.
- You can learn great things from your mistakes when you aren’t busy denying them. Life is a “practice,” not a “perfection”… and it’s only coming around once. This is IT! So live fully while you’re here. Have fun, be crazy, be weird. Go out and make mistakes. They are a necessary part of a life well lived. When something goes wrong (and it will), don’t run or try to hide. See it as an opportunity to learn something you didn’t know about yourself. The goal is not perfection; just be an excellent example of being human.
- People will love you, and people will dislike you. And most of the time, it will have nothing to do with you. How others treat you is their karma, how you respond is yours. Love them anyway. Be kind because it’s who you are, not because they have to earn it. The hardest people to love are often the ones who need it the most anyway. (Read How to Win Friends and Influence People.)
- You don’t have to live your life the way other people expect you to. You were not meant for a mundane or mediocre life. Take chances when you’re young; tell stories when you’re old. The goal is to not look back and say, “Wow, I felt safe.” The goal is to say, “Wow, that was an adventure.” If your life is awesome, it’s your fault. If your life is boring, it’s your fault. If you wouldn’t read the story you’re living right now, write a different one.
- People who are out making a difference in the world are not like everyone else. So don’t blend in. You will always be too much of something for someone – too big, too loud, too soft, too edgy, and so forth. If you round out your edges, you lose your edge. Once you’ve truly accepted who you are – quirks, flaws, and all – no one can use them against you. For those who truly care about you, there are no flaws in you larger than their love.
- Every wrong relationship leads to the right one. If you can love the wrong person so much, imagine how much you’ll love the right one. Every heartbreak presents an opportunity to grow into an improved version of yourself. Great love shakes us up, excites and terrifies us simultaneously, while making us feel so desperate and out of control that we have no choice but to transform our lives. When it leaves us, we can choose to become bitter or to become better. Will you become stronger and wiser with an increased ability to love? Or will you miss the gift? One day someone will come into your life and make you see why it didn’t work out with anyone else. Until then, use every chance you get to grow into the kind of person they couldn’t imagine living without. (Read It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken.)
It’s OK to feel confused, frustrated and even lost – happy people experience all these emotions too. It’s a sign of intelligence. Only fools are totally sure about their path and every choice they make.
Find a way to be happy regardless of what life hands you. You may not be able to control it, but you can learn and grow from it.
As you breathe right now, another person is taking their last breath. They are praying for all the things you and I are taking for granted. So don’t complain. Be grateful for every experience, every challenge, and every surprise that you’re blessed with.
If you haven’t found the lesson in your latest struggle yet, keep looking, it’s there. And if all else fails, stay grateful that you’ve been given more time to figure it out. Not everyone has been so lucky.
Which one of the truths in this post resonate with you the most? What’s one tough truth you’ve had to face, or hardship you’ve had to deal with, that taught you a great lesson and helped you grow?
Please leave a comment below and share your thoughts.
Author Bio: This post was written by Kendra Wright from HeyKendra.com. She is on a mission to banish boring in people’s lives, love, and businesses. Marc and Angel readers can get a free printable PDF of the 10 Tough Truths to keep in front of them everyday.
Photo by: Jo Munday
The articles here on http://www.marcandangel.com are so refreshing. I love reading them. They help me in so many ways, but right now I’m dealing with getting a new business off the ground. It’s been a huge struggle. But so many of the thoughts shared here resonate so well in my mind. You are helping me get through this tough time.
Also, I just bought your book last week and I’m already loving it. I will place two more orders today to give as holiday gifts. Thank you 🙂
Jean Larson says
One tough truth that I’ve had to deal with recently is that you can’t change the past no matter how much you want to.
I guess the positive is that it came as a realization that although I’ve worked hard on changing, that doesn’t mean I earn forgiveness for what I’ve done. If someone else doesn’t forgive me, there’s nothing I can do no matter how “good” I become. I can never go back and change what I did and I can never make them forgive me no matter how sorry I am. I just have to live with it, let it go, and move forward with my own life – my own new, healthier beginning.
Marc and Angel (and the amazing guest writers on this site), thank you. You’re guidance has helped me embrace this realization.
Fay Daliva says
Great article. The one tough truth I would add is: You can care for some people and still not be able to be around them all the time. There are some relationships that may be grounded in history or former experiences that eventually don’t fit with the way you’ve grown. You may still care for a person in your life but know it isn’t good to spend too much time with them. And that’s perfectly OK.
THE best part of any day is awakening to a thought provoking, well written pick-me-up from http://www.marcandangel.com !! Thank you!!!!
I feel so encouraged right now…every time I feel doubt this week, I will reread this..
I know God sees me bigger than I see myself…
I am wonderfully and fearfully made!
I cannot thank you enough for how much your words lift me everyday. I recently quit my job and moved out of NYC to pursue my graduate degree in a new career field and new city. This change has been affecting me more than I’d like and what has gotten me through, has been reading your articles everyday. I know one day, I’ll be so glad I took this leap of faith,but I must say that for now, it makes me feel so hopeful when I read your words of wisdom.
Excellent words of wisdom. A tough truth I’ve had to face is that someone who said they loved me was lying. It’s not easy, but I’m happy I now know the truth, and that I’m able to move toward more honest relationships in my present and future.
David Rapp says
Great post. A few quick comments:
3. The most dangerous place is the the comfort zone. When a radical change comes there, you will NOT be prepared to handle it.
4. In literature, there are only 3 conflicts: man vs. God/Nature, man vs. man and man vs. himself. Man vs. himself is ALWAYS the most difficult.
5. Realistic. Being realistic means being confined to your own perceived reality, or worse, someone else’s.
Thank you for the self awareness check. There is so much here to hold on to and work into my thoughts, my approach to my life, and to give me hope. It’s going to be wonderful to finally love and be loved by the right person and to live the life that I want on my terms. Thank you so much for the blessings you doing a wonderful things.
I love every one of these truths. Both number 2 and 3 particularly speak to me.
I remember Jim Carrey saying his father wanted to be safe, so chose to be an accountant instead of a comic, but he still ended up broke. Might as well do what you love. That story stuck with me.
And I love number 3 – “easy things will never make you proud”. True.
This was an outstanding article. Nice job Kendra. Every person should internalize these principles. It would change their lives overnight.
Wow, just wow. I wrote down and tweeted so many quotes from this post it is so challenging to choose just one. I really liked “building with the pebbles found at rock bottom.” And the conclusion about the last breath. Shoo.. Thanks for giving me so much to think about today, Kendra.
Going along with #6 – Fully Participate! “Maximum value in life comes when I fully participate.”
Ruth Holewinski says
Every day that we wake up and put our feet on the floor is a “do over.” Another day. More opportunities. Yay! It’s a time of celebration.
I love this: “As you breathe right now, another person is taking their last breath. They are praying for all the things you and I are taking for granted. So don’t complain. Be grateful for every experience, every challenge, and every surprise that you’re blessed with.”
Being unemployed looking for work right now your posts resonate with me more than ever. Trying to keep a positive outlook in the midst of an uncertain future can be a challenge but can be accomplished when aware of #1 through #10! Living hopeful!! (full!)
Always the best email in the inbox. Great stuff! Keep em coming.
I loved this article!. This should be like a mantra in life because once you realize this and start living by these 10 truths, life gets simpler. Thank you so much for putting these little bits of wisdom together.
Thank you thank you thank you 1000 times for writing this post; it brought tears to my eyes. I have recently made gigantic life changes and am following my true life passion after playing it safe for many years. It is absolutely terrifying and the biggest critic is myself. Thank you thank you thank you for giving me the strength to get through today <3
Bless you. I learned a lot and I will keep your words close at heart and do my best to live them.
Thank you so much for this post. I just stumbled upon your blog yesterday, and maybe it was a universal gift because the truths about I needed to read. A few weeks ago I lost someone very dear to me, and I am now back to work trying to adjust to the reality that life keeps going on. Someone who I could normally call up and tell them all about my day is no longer a phone call away. And at work I have been on edge, with very little patience because my mind is not fully there. But this article has reminded me how very wonderful life is. How much I have to be thankful for. Change is inevitable, and as hard as it is to be happy when you lose someone, I am reminded that there is a gift with this challenge that will help me grow and this article has helped me to reflect on that.
Thanks for powerful thoughts!
With depression, “mere” difficulty can trigger a slide to the depths, butterflies can bring on paralysis, and discouragement can lead to despair. I hope to learn how to fight this tendency in myself without having to fight myself – another sure fire triggering behavior.
#5 all day 🙂 GREAT article Kendra! Needed it today and saving for the future!
Thanks Marc and Angel once again. Number 9 and 10 really resonated with me. This is where all my work is going to be. 🙂 Much Love!
#3 and #7 resonate with me the most.
Currently caught in a comfort zone even though I know I should not be stuck there.
I am also learning to deal with people and everything in #7 really hit me. I think it has made me reevaluate so many things about other people and myself.
Thank you so much for this post and the guest post! I really needed a wake-up call and will have to remind myself of these things every day!
Thanks alot. You’ve been an encouragement to me.
Thank you so much for your daily inspiration! Love this one!
Awesome and inspiring… I’d like this article printed up on a blanket so i can wrap myself up in it and be constantly inspired. I’m 52 years old with a dream still in me and this is the kind of thing i need to propel me forward on a new journey. Thank you so much for this article. It really hit home.
Captain Kirk says
Marc, Angel, and Kendra…
Thank you for this inspiring article.
#5 A comfort zone is a beautiful place, but nothing ever grows there.
For many years, my comfort zone was an imaginary safe place. However, on my journey to personal growth, development, and improvement, I have transformed my comfort zone – into a “construction zone”.
The road to the new and improved personality is always under construction. This building process includes embracing my broadband personality, from strong character qualities to imperfections and weaknesses.
The secret to success was to look inside myself and find my dreams, goals, and desires that served as my fuel and forward thrust >>> to accelerate and move forward in life, always growing and improving.
The “construction project” continues…on this yellow brick road to happiness, fulfillment, and self-discovery. And I am enjoying the journey!
“Kick the Tires……and Light the Fires!” ************
Rose Costas says
Awesome post. It comes down to me. What ever life throws my way I have a choice and the choices I make are the ones that will give me the life I want if I am willing to do the work.
It is always so much easier to blame someone else but the mirror never lies.
Facing the truth is what changes a persons life.
Thanks for this beautiful, well written post.
Thank you, just what I needed to read and be reminded of from time to time.
Good reading material on a rainy Sat afternoon. We all struggle with our own demons and sometimes, it’s great there are little pick-me-ups like these to keep you going and lifted.
Keep fighting on, warriors.
NoeliA Aanulds says
This was an inspiring nice article with great thoughts for everyone to consider. Happiness is mental state that everyone can achieve regardless of their external circumstances, by practicing certain behaviors. Thank you for the reminders.
I love all your articles, they are so good and helpul!
Thank you for sharing your wisdom, Kendra. I always love to read this blog and feel that it has bettered my life and outlook. One question I have about moving ahead and working hard toward your dreams is this: What then? I am comfortable now in midlife after taking risks, being in bad relationships, and working diligently. Nowadays, comfort feels too good to make changes. I fear that if I step out of this comfort zone, then I will experience all that happened when I was young: no stability, lack of money, and struggle.
Angel Chernoff says
Super inspiring comments. Super inspiring insight by the wonderful, Kendra Wright. Thank you all.
Honestly, these words should be a daily mantra for all of us in the upcoming year. 🙂
PS: Marc is busy putting the final touches on our newest post. It will be up this evening.
Thank-you so much for having choosen this path in your lives, and sharing with us all. My partner, after 12& 1/2 years had to leave because I became blinded by concussions, self pity, and selfishness. Now, being alone, is the best time for personal growth. Once freed from our cages, and we feel alone, unsure of what to do, separated from a life we and things we understood. The uncertainty can be paralyzing. The aims of others can become our own. The more we become ourselves, the more we can connect and contribute to the world around us. Thank-you for sharing your wisdom, your courage and integrity. Most of all, thank-you for the Love. So looking forwards to reading more inspiring words form the heart & soul.
Number 1 on your list resonated most strongly with me (I swear I did read the whole thing!), because you see it all the time. Everyone wants all of the benefits, and when you achieve something, they want it for themselves. What they don’t see is the blood, sweat and tears that have gone into achieving it.
Anyway, thanks for a great post.
Michael E.J says
The most hard truth of all time that I’ve had to face, was to let go of my girlfriend whom I loved a billion times more than I love myself, and even dare to name my own company with the nearly same name..( Angel ) and so I decided to call my company, “Angels Incorporated Company”.., but I just had to let go of this relationship and keep moving forward.
Regardless of every good things that I did to her, she treated me like a ghost,. to her of course, I wasn’t existing at all.. so everything that I was doing to and for her wasn’t exist either, were obviously meaningless.
But I’m happy now, Yes I’m very happy to be just me!
Thanks to you guys, Marc and Angel => same name as my girlfriend’s.
I would add a thought about forgetting and not having regrets… as children do. Children always smile and enjoy life intensely every minute.
Number 10 really resonated with me…’cos that’s where I’ve been for the past 6 months. Have felt that I could be ever replace my “lost” relationship. But thanks to your article I now know that that anything is possible as long as I’m open to it and am honest with myself and as long as I don’t resort to “blaming” and as long as I take personal responsibility for my life!
Hi MarcandAngel, I’m a 19 year old singer with great aspirations. The one that resonates with me the most is:
5. Being realistic is the fastest traveled way to mediocrity.
This statement further assures me that in order to be especially successful, I need to be especially different, working when others are partying… Dreaming big…
7. People will love you, and people will dislike you.
is the one that I have the most hard time with. I’m learning that I cannot make everybody to like me, and that is OK. I don’t need to waste time worrying about it or being anxious about it, because in the end, the right people will come along and the wrong will naturally float away.