You are the person you believe yourself to be.
This post has been updated with new information and moved to here:
3 Easy Things We Say to Avoid the Hard Things We Need to Do
Photo by: Brandon Grasley
Practical Tips for Productive Living
You are the person you believe yourself to be.
This post has been updated with new information and moved to here:
Photo by: Brandon Grasley
J.J. says
Excellent read, as per usual.
Sara says
This stuck a chord with me today. Thanks for helping me think differently.
Abe Stetson says
Seriously, you guys are hitting closer and closer to home with every post I read. Or maybe I’m moving “home” closer to where I belong in my head and heart. Either way, I’m appreciative.
Sandra Pawula says
I love the synchronicity of this article as right now I’m review some deeply-seated limited beliefs, in particular around dying. I’m happy to take your invitation to turn them around.
Mathias says
Great post! These beliefs have certainly held me back a lot over the years!
I think a great way to get rid of these limiting beliefs is to try to reset everything you believe in. Unlearn your idea of success, and start over from zero, where you can define your own ideas and beliefs.
Rose Costas says
Beautiful opening story. I can relate.
Shilpa says
Awesome Post…. Thanks a ton for this post! 😀
Laura Tong says
Firstly, love and success thoughts to Monica – great job on looking at life with clarity and arriving at a positive, self-affirming conclusion: you’re great, with a great future ahead! Other people’s problems or negative actions are just that – their problems, their actions – we’re really unfortunate to get tangled up with them but with self-belief, inner strength and Marc and Angel batting for you – you’re going untangle yourself and find your own fabulous niche. The self-limiting belief that kept me back until my thirties was that I didn’t have much to offer, no one was going to be interested. Thankfully, I discovered in time that everyone has a lot of offer… to the people who want it. Thank you for such an inspiring post Marc.
Yatin Khulbe says
Marc and Angel, you are doing a lovely work. The story of 18 year girl is very inspiring. I can just only visualize the happiness on your face after seeing the positive change you’ve made. When the work is shaping the future journey of other people, you can’t ask for anything else. 🙂
For the last ten years, you are making people realize their true dreams. The story of 71-year-old doing successful business, graduation at 58 years, etc… Hats off to you. I am glad I came across your work.
I always wanted to convey my positive ideas with others. But, there was always one question which loomed in my mind. Will people like the content? Now, I write what I feel. And, I am sure that at least some people will definitely like my ideas.
Thanks again for this wonderful post…Lots of love
M S Rao says
I am hugely impressed with the touching story and thoughts. I feel honored to have an opportunity of reading such wisdom on your site.
M S Rao. India.
Sherman Smith says
Hey Marc and Angel,
Great post here. I’ve had quite a few self limiting beliefs. 2 of them were about making videos for my blog and blogging itself. And I tell you that I didn’t have a lot of encouragement among my peers.
How did I get myself to go ahead to start blogging and making videos? I just turned my focus on what I really wanted to do instead of trying to meet the approval of my peers. I wanted good constructive criticism that’ll push me forward instead of what I call “lazy” criticism which is criticizing someone without doing any research to give any type of valid reasoning.
So with that said, I took the bull by the horn and ran with it. As a result my stats have been improving a lot.
Thanks for the share and I hope you two have a great rest of the week!
Chas says
As far as the entrepreneurial spirit goes… How many of us are brought up to have it instilled into us? Little girls were/are brought up listening to, “One day my Prince will Come.” Little boys hear, “Hey, Get a Good Job, Dental Plan, Pension, etc.” Those days are slowly disappearing… In this day and age and as /will be the future .. Self development and self employment will be the road to travel…The road less traveled.
Michael Gregory II says
Great Post!
From all the beliefs, one that I struggle with is determining if my friends or family will accept my goals. Where they often encourage me to walk the path of either a businessman or in medical, I enjoy spending my time writing and using my imaginations. I enjoy drawing comics and using my artistic abilities.
It’s sometimes tempting to follow their desires because that lifestyle does seem simple. But it’s not the type of lifestyle I prefer or will feel comfortable with.
Shella says
First of all, Thank you Monica for sharing your story – so uplifting and encouraging to other young adults coming from less-than-ideal family situations. My self-limiting belief that was with me up until about my late -30’s was that I wasn’t good enough because I never had the love or approval from my parents that I so desperately craved throughout childhood and well into adulthood. I never got it – but the difference is I no longer allow my idea of self to be defined/limited by this. I am so happy that Monica figured it out young! May she soar!
david says
I agree with this great post! Never let anyone bring you down.
MFK says
Struggling with life but it was a helpful read that has encouraged me to seek the cracks in my self imposed obstacles to a happy life.
Captain Kirk says
Marc…
Monica’s experience serves as an inspiration to all of us, as we recover from childhood wounds, and pursue our path of self-discovery.
One painful lesson that I learned in childhood is that our wounds can affect our personal growth and development, which can reach the core of our identity.
In fact, these wounds can be toxic and painfully damaging, resulting in feelings of despair, discouragement, low self-esteem, insecurity, intimidation, desperation, no self-worth, and chronic loneliness (and the list goes on)…….
However, if we have the courage, fire, and desire like Monica, we can recover and HEAL from this toxic shame, and find our PLACE and VOICE in this universe.
Recently, I found two profound declarations that summarizes our life journey of self-discovery and personal identity.
“Blame your PARENTS – for the way you are.
Blame YOURSELF – if you stay that way!”
“In youth – we learn. In age – we UNDERSTAND”.
Find your VOICE. and find your PLACE on this stage we call earth…and have the courage (at the risk of embarrassment) to enjoy your performance.
Instead of “cracking the shell”….SHATTER the shell! Feel the healing and growing power…..and DON’T LOOK BACK!!!
Zeeshan says
I struggled with my self-belief that ” I am not Cool enough , amazing and cute enough to be liked by any girl ” and struggled with it for almost 3 years but now I am gradually ending my this self-belief . It all started with my one close family member insulting me over my looks when I was 15 and telling my mother “I will never let my daughter even look at him ” . This made me to struggle with my self-esteem and self-belief for almost 3 years.
But now , I believe I am the best and better than several others who are in worst situation than me . Now if I see someone , insulting someone on his looks or face or color of skin , I try my level hard to support the guy or girl because I have felt this suffering and know how hard it is to get your self-confidence back when its shrunk to bottom . Thanks for this fabulous post . 🙂 . Made my day !
Michael says
I feel like my relationships suffers a lot and is an area of my life where I have not put the effort it needs to be as good and as real as I desire. I cheated on my parner a few times, had an affair and then kept it hidden for a year, thinking that if I forget about it and lie to myself for it it will make us both happy, but this hiding kept me from being open to him and being myself and he could tell something was going wrong. I then had the balls to tell him everything, and realized that this may have been the end of us. But he showed me that no matter how hard it was for him and that he could not forgive me, he still wanted to give me a chance. What hurts me most is the fact that I know I can be good and I can make him happy, but why don’t I bother with it? I have all the knowledge and tools to make this precious guy happy and I just let opportunities pass me by.
Muhammad says
You guys are soooooo cool, and awesome, and lovely, and so human. Jeez, I can’t believe I am so in love with two people I have never met in my life. I started reading your blog a few months ago and I can’t believe how big a part of my life it has become.
I wish I had friends like you guys, someone who would completely understand my fears, my insecurities, my stupid habits, my quirks. Someone who wouldn’t judge me for slipping up, or not living up to the standards I have set myself. It sounds so cliched, but I feel like your blogs talk to me, willing me to challenge my own beliefs and ideas, and make me feel so much better about myself.
I would like to be able to thank you in person someday. You make my day, everyday!
Lennae says
Great post! All of your posts always seem to hit home for me! Love your work! 🙂
Lennae xxx
lennaesworld.com
Jane says
It’s been 8 months since I was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder. These were direct results of consistent child abuse throughout the 18 years of my life.
Many times I think that I cannot do something because of my mental illnesses. I panic, I cry a lot, I get extremely frustrated and go into hellish places in my mind.
However, I’ve done some amazing things despite my obstacles. I am good at performing on the stage despite my clinical anxiety. I am extremely driven towards my goals, and I am good at meeting new people.
The fact that some very successful people had the same illnesses as me gives me the courage to keep going. Abraham Lincoln, Marilyn Monroe, Britney Spears, Angelina Jolie…
I will keep going.
Marc Chernoff says
Thanks for all the positive feedback and insightful remarks, everyone. And for those who emailed me and asked for more principles on following through with dreams and goals, I recommend you read this: 12 Quiet Rituals of Enormously Successful Humans, and also check out our course if you’re looking for one-on-one assistance.
Alison Bowling says
🙁 I think I knew when I clicked on this that I had to read it even though I wasn’t going to like the abject honesty. I didn’t, I don’t and you’re right, but then you always are. You both have such amazing insight, and I need to get to the bottom of why I’m perpetrating my own self fulfilling prophecy every single day. I wouldn’t say it is inhibiting my personal success, but it is definitely limiting my ability to be truly and completely happy without any reservation… like I used to be. Your timing with this article was amazing, and uncanny as is also usual.
Cliff says
“Because the truth is, what people say and do to you is much more about them, than you.”
I’ve been working on a theory of “haters” for a while, and I think that statement sums up a big part of it.
Another one that I always refer back to is from baseball legend Reggie Jackson:
“They don’t Boo nobodies”.
When you are faced with negativity, it is because you are worthwhile, not the opposite. It is only with notoriety, achievement, aspiration, that you can be ‘hated on’. So it’s really a sign of achievement.
I try to use that approach when thinking about these things, and eventually you will learn to love the criticism and the negativity, because it is more and more signs that you are on the right path to success…
Just my two cents 🙂
-Cliff
Edwina Too says
You have inspired me a great deal. Learning to believe and having confidence to face the reality of my true self is the best gift you have gifted me with.
Ilona says
Dear Marc and Angel,
I am enormously grateful for this post. Lately has been a time of my life when a lot of things in most areas of my life began to change at the same time. Important and dear people that were by my side, began to disappear from my life, some of them passed away… I have decided to turn my career in a new dimension to dedicate myself to things I always wanted to do and it requires new skills and time… My relationship didn’t work out in the end…. And so on. and when I think of these fronts, my biggest fear is the fear of failure. When there’s a lot of things at risk on the way to your dream, how do you manage to keep faith and enthusiasm together, keep dear people around and stay strong no matter what? Thank you
Vernessa Perry says
Thank you for this very helpful post.
Nate says
Never let anyone get to you and never let yourself down.
This is something I have learnt to do in recent months when I went self employed. Rely on yourself and try not to let what others say or do get the best of you.