Learn to value yourself, which means: fight for your happiness and peace of mind.
This post has been updated and moved to HERE:
7 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself When Life Doesn’t Go as Planned
Photo by: Sarahtanml
Practical Tips for Productive Living
Learn to value yourself, which means: fight for your happiness and peace of mind.
This post has been updated and moved to HERE:
Photo by: Sarahtanml
Erica says
I love all of this. Inspiring.
Ali says
Every point here so true and very important.
Marc Chernoff says
Lacking gratitude is an excellent addition. Thank you, Erica.
Laurie says
That’s awesome. I’m happy to read your progress. It’s a reminder to be thankful for what we have in the current moment.
Mel says
Wow these points are spot on!
Kevin B. says
Thank you for inspiring me to change.
Rose Costas says
It is so easy to say this is true but since I know better I will confess that even though I know this to be true, I allow life to steal my happiness regularly. It seems like life is a constant fight because I try to force it to be what I want it to be instead of allowing life to unfold as it should.
Great post.
isha says
Great post! For me 1,2&6. Most of the times these won’t bother me sometimes I totally forgot them thanks for reminding me again.
S. Hughes says
Thanks for another excellent and uplifting post. Even though I fought a good “mind over matter” battle, I let some recent financial setbacks seep into my thoughts and steal my happiness. Tried again and again to focus on the positive, think abundantly and shift gears. But somehow my mind (i.e. attitude) remained stalled on “the lack” instead of the possibilities. Thank you for the timely reminder: “And whatever you do, don’t live with yesterday’s stress, live beyond it. You cannot stop what has already happened, but you can let it make you stronger and more determined. The journey to emotional clarity requires that you review the events in your life to find the wisdom and purpose they contain.”
Yatin Khulbe says
The story in the beginning leaves behind a powerful message: We must be ready for any odd situations in life. It is always better to keep a backup in life which will act as a cushion in tough times.
I can connect with your 5th point easily. In the beginning, I was projecting myself in dim terms with the fellow bloggers. But, today, I am confident about my approach. Ir is a wonderful lesson to keep moving forward.
Earlier, I also expected the same kind behavior from the other person. Now, I don’t have any expectations. It’s useless to think about the same treatment.
Thanks Marc for this wonderful list.
Marc Chernoff says
Glad to hear you’re making progress, Yatin. Keep on doing your thing.
Joyce says
I did subscribe on your free posts and am so grateful since i came across your inspiration messages as am still going through my toughest moment in life but i believe am finalizing the last chapter to embark on a different new chapter in ma life. One thing i know for sure is that if you don’t give up and continue to fight, you will experience a great breakthrough because our God sees the struggles and rewards us when we least expect it. Thanks for your every day post. You are such a blessing to me.
Semiramis says
#6 has been especially challenging for me (emphasis on “especially”). Your posts, together with a variety of other select resources (Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Dr. Travis Bradberry) have become my training. An additional element that can never be completely satisfied is a blueprint of the personalities surrounding us; not all, but certainly those in our immediate circles. This “understanding” bridges the gaps caused by non-verbal communications to help us manage the cues that trigger our own personal reactions. Thank you, for another wonderful post.
Marc Chernoff says
Excellent book recommendation. I’ve read it. And thanks for the kind words So happy to hear our words are helping you.
Bliss says
I reviewed my journal pages for last year about this time and found my current complaints and concerns are just about the same as they were then, even though many important things are much better now. My fears and resentments never seem to change. But at least I am attempting now to note some of my accomplishments as well as reviewing my failures. Thank you for your inspiration.
Jake Mcspirit says
Hi Marc,
This is a very thoughtful list and reminder. It’s funny how we let things bother us regularly, yet forget to quell it at the source of it. We create all these ways of ‘dealing with it,’ but so often we miss eliminating the issue entirely.
Thanks!
Marc Chernoff says
You got it, Jake. Half the things we think we do well, we should not be doing at all.
TAF says
I enjoyed # 6 and can struggle w/ 1-3. However one I didn’t really see – or spelled out was that in challenging times, a negative word from another can resonate and bound/roll around like a marble in my head. I could be OK with how things are going – challenges and all, but when some criticizes my approach or makes “predictions” of what may happen to me they stick. So it’s NOT listing to the outer voices, but focusing on the inner ones.
Really Good post. I’ve enjoyed reading “your” POV since becoming a follower.
TAF
Marc Chernoff says
Excellent addition to the list, TAF. Thanks.
Ginger says
Thank you for helping me understand a situation that I thought would be resolved by people handling it like I would- when they didn’t …..
Mercy Ekwere says
Thank you Marc and Angel.
Your words of wisdom is changing my mindset . Thank you again for this wonderful post. I’m so thankful for the day I stumbled on this site. I am learning a lot here. I see better days and a better me ahead!
John Casper says
Remember perfectionism can be an important step on the way to trans formative creativity. Don’t miss all the steps…but pray that the revelation WILL breakthrough….this is the essence of what we call Faith. If you have not experienced this sense of growth, keep working, striving, learning and loving and the prize will be yours…
Virginia Allain says
This is a great list, but you missed one that I think sums up her ability to stay cool in this stressful situation. She took precautionary measures/set up a safety net for possible failure. By having her files backed up and having insurance, she could then afford to roll with the punches.
Marc Chernoff says
Excellent point, Virgina. As the saying goes: Those who fail to plan, plan to fail.
Mara says
Beautiful post! My points that I need to work on: 4, 6 and 7.
Taking a deep breathe: I don’t want put too much weight into …
When I was walking this evening, I’ve thought a lot of your words: thank you :-)))
Deb Weaver says
Thanks for the reminder about happiness “stealers”. A few months ago, there was an unfortunate episode where someone whom I thought was a dear friend, suddenly cut-off all contact after a remark I made: blocked cell phone contact and emails. After a few weeks, we spoke again, but things weren’t the same. It made me stop and think about how I evaluate friendships, and more importantly what I consider important in a friendship: the ability to constructively disagree. Now, I am spending time with friends that I don’t need to walk on eggshells with, and don’t need to placate if we don’t agree on something. Life is way too short.
Dawn says
What a GREAT post. Very apropos for what just happened to me in terms of who STOLE my happiness. Well – my boss. I had been caregiving for my mother who passed away. We have something called the Family and Medical Leave Act where you can take up to 12 weeks off to care for seriously ill family members. My mother was in her final weeks of life, on her death bed and my boss still expected me to come into work. A VIOLATION by the way under the Act. Because he could not control me and force me to come in – he wrote me up and tried to fire me. What a jerk! It took me 2.5 years to get vindication and keep my job. However, the hostility still remains – I have to get over it, look past, and NOT let him steal my joy. I need to follow ALL THE ABOVE of this article and just get down to brass tacks and the fact that NO, OTHER PEOPLE DO NOT CARE AND HAVE NO HEART AND DON’T EXPECT THEM TO! Now I can move on and live for myself – not my boss who is a miserable human being. He stole 8 weeks of precious time between me and my mother. He’s not going to steal any more from me!!
tee says
Thanks so much Marc and Angel. I’m one of those people who just cant let go of my past and this post has helped me become a little stronger. Awesome!
BlackDiamond says
Great post , as usual, I would have to say of myself I’m actively working on 3,6 and 7. Especially, 3 and 6, where I’m working on progress more and not perfection in regards to 3. As far as #6, I’m very big on reciprocity so I’ve had to come to the harsh reality that people don’t look at the world through the same lens and beliefs systems that I do. So I have to remind myself that everyone I deal with relatively will not always reciprocate in the same way that I do and to be okay with that but not except less that I deserve in behavior also.
#7 for me is just a matter of experience more and be more playful in my life doing those things that I enjoy. Just doing much more of that.
Jamie says
Allowing my whole day yesterday to be consumed with thoughts of my ex that I ran into Sunday. He is still best friends with my brother and from time to time I run into him at by brother and sister in law’s house. I feel a tad betrayed by my brother and wife at times, but they will never stop being friends with my ex, regardless of our past and how crappy he was to me. Not only did I run into him there, I got to hear he has a new girlfriend now. I have got to distance myself from them…. it just isn’t worth wasting a day of feeling awful. If I can just get that through my head once and for all.
Tessa says
Living well is the best revenge. Let go of the negative feelings. He is not worth one more second of your time! Work on you, your goals and happiness. Then when you run into him, smile to yourself and start cataloging all your successes because you put your energy to work for you and not wasted in futile negative feelings about things you cannot change. Live well and leave him wondering!!!
Humberto says
Thanks a lot!
sathishw.r says
Excellent post!
Nigel Abery says
What stole my happiness and peace of mind yesterday?
Well, in business chasing clients and preparing for the sale can sometimes be an involved process. Then after the client having given all the right signs that they are interested and confirming that what you are offering them is superior to what is elsewhere the client backs out. What went wrong?
Today, you can’t win them all, there will be other chances!
Great article!
Steffen says
One big problem is to assume that there will be no problems. There are always problems.
If there are none, that’s great. But if there are, that’s greata swell. Because it’s better to learn a lesson when the stakes are low, than when the same problem would be devastating at a later time.
Discover problems as soon as possible.
coralcrue says
I thank God, the internet and you for your blog!
Nicolas says
Thank you
Larissa says
Every point resonates with me but #2, expecting everyday to be easy or obstacle-free, really hit home. I discovered this crazy thinking a few months back during a Bible study I was doing. I discovered that I was setting myself up to fail everyday thinking life should be easier and obviously this line of thinking did not serve me well. Great list! Great post! Thank you!
Atul says
Everyday I hope it gets easier with my work but it never does. It’s just an endless cycle. Maintaining a good balance socializing with friends and listening to music is perhaps what I need. And you’re right, expecting people to be as kind and caring as yourself only leads to disappointment.
Stephen Smith says
Very well said, i can see every point in my daily attitude. Read alot of motivational quotes, kind words, but, I never really see myself as much as i did in this post. I feel like today would be a great time to take a deep breathe and say ENOUGH!
Egbeana Idogbo says
Thank you for this inspiring article, becoming more hopeful and uplifted knowing that i can take charge of my attitude towards unexpected negative issues that life brings my way.