Don’t live the same year 89 times and call it a life. Dream. Attempt. Explore… This moment is the beginning of anything you want.
This morning one of our course students, Monica – a recovering victim of a recent hit and run accident, was smiling from ear to ear the minute our Skype coaching session began. “What has you in such great spirits today?” I asked her. “I’m just thinking of how lucky I am to be alive,” she replied. “Last Friday was almost the end, but now it’s just the beginning again.”
Sitting here at the start of the New Year, her words couldn’t be more relevant.
Right now is the beginning again, for all of us. And we can prevent the wrong ideas, habits and beliefs from getting in our way.
As Monica recently learned, life is rarely easy, but it’s always worth it. There’s no reason to sulk in sorrow, disappointment or regret. Even when you are no longer able to change a situation, you are challenged to change yourself. And that changes everything.
Here’s what we all need to do, DAILY, to avoid needless headaches, heartache and regrets as we journey through the upcoming year…
- Be right where you are. Happiness is letting go of what you think your life is supposed to look like right now and appreciating it for everything that it is.
- Consider how incredibly fortunate you are to be here in this moment. Then get going and make the very best out of that good fortune.
- Tell yourself, “I am ENOUGH!” anytime you begin to feel like you aren’t. What you do in life ultimately comes out of who you believe you are. In other words, it’s not what you say to everyone else that determines your life; it’s what you whisper to yourself that has the greatest power.
- Whatever you do, do it with love and passion, with full attention and awareness. Be present and put all you have into even the smallest of acts.
- Avoid sinking into the comfortable mediocrity of doing nothing (which is always the easiest option). Challenge yourself to live with the passion and richness you deserve.
- Say “no” to good things when you must, so you are able to say “yes” to important things. We can’t do it all. Be mindful and choose wisely.
- Again and again, remind yourself why. With a strong enough reason why, you’ll be able to do what’s required at any time and in any circumstance. (Angel and I discuss this in more detail in the “Goals and Success” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)
- Doubt your doubts before you doubt your faith. How disappointed would you be to get to the end of your life and discover you were made to enjoy life while all you did was doubt it?
- Stop being afraid of what could go wrong and start thinking about what could go right. Remember, even the wrong choices can bring us to the right places. When you fail to get what you want, consider that it just might be a blessing in disguise.
- Stop focusing on how inconvenient life is, and start focusing on something positive you can do in response.
- Give yourself some extra space. Take a deep breath when you need one. Sometimes you need to distance yourself for a while to see things clearly again. Don’t make a permanent decision for your temporary emotion. (Read The Untethered Soul.)
- Be mindful. Stress comes from the way you react, not the way life is. Adjust your attitude and the stress is gone. You control the way you look at life. Right this moment, your thoughts are setting the direction for your day. Choose thoughts that lead to the day you most desire to live today.
- Let things be less than perfect. Do not dwell so much on creating your perfect life that you forget to live a great one.
- As much as feasibly possible, enjoy yourself every step of the way. It’s not selfish to enjoy life. What’s selfish is to insist on being negative despite all the positive possibilities available to you.
- Set an example. Treat everyone with kindness and respect, even those who are rude to you – not because they are nice, but because you are. In other words, don’t be lazy and make judgments about people. Be kind. Ask about their stories. Listen. Be humble. Be open. Be teachable. Be a good neighbor.
- Pay attention to people’s actions. People may not always tell you how they feel about you, but they will always show you.
- Spend a lot more time with those who make you smile and a lot less time with those who you feel pressured to impress. (And remember, you can be kind to people without choosing to be around them all the time.)
- Walk away from drama gracefully. Wherever there’s lots of drama, there’s usually lots of lying and manipulation.
- Simplify wherever and whenever possible. Clear the clutter in your physical and mental space. Instead of figuring out how to make ends meet, work on having fewer ends.
- If all else fails, the best advice I’ve found is still just to “sleep on it.” Everything changes in the morning.
Afterthoughts
Ultimately, the biggest difference between gratitude and regret is attitude. It’s all about how you look at life, and what you decide to do with it each day.
You don’t know what the future will bring. So your best strategy for living is to make the best and most positive use of the present. I hope the ideas I’ve outlined here help you do just that.
Your turn…
What do you want to do (or work on) over the course of this year that you know you will not regret? Leave a comment below and share your thoughts with us.
Also, if you haven’t done so already, be sure to sign-up for our free newsletter to receive new articles like this in your inbox each week.
Photo by: Keith Dixon
Devon says
Marc and Angel, your lessons about life and regret always ring true to me, and this article is no exception.
I know I’ve mentioned this before, but it’s worth mentioning again. After reading parts of your book on regret around this time two years ago, I called a friend of mine who was batting stage four pancreatic cancer. I hadn’t spoken to her for a while because she was having continuous cancer treatments, which made casual, friendly conversations difficult for us for numerous reasons. But I also knew I would regret not spending any more time with her, and after I broke the ice with a single phone call, I took it a step further and went to see her every day until she passed away. Thank you, again, for motivating me to do so. It’s a choice I’m still thinking about and will never regret.
And I plan on making this another year without regrets too. You better believe I will be showing up to life this year with my “A game.” Here’s a quote on avoiding regret from your book that has helped me keep things in perspective and do just that:
“Before you know it you’ll be asking, ‘How did it get so darn late so soon?’ Take time to figure yourself out. Take time to realize what it is you want for yourself. Take time to take necessary risks. Take time to love, laugh, cry and forgive. Life is so much shorter than it often seems. Look straight ahead and say ‘YES’ to the opportunities coming your way. Happiness and success never come to look for you while you wait around. You’ve got to get out there, take chances, and work at it diligently to make your life memorable.”
Marc Chernoff says
You are welcome, Devon. Thank you for the kindness. And thank you for supporting our work.
twinkle says
Am really thankful to god….
You guys Marc and Angel r doing a great work
I don’t know how exactly i came across this website..? but i know wen.. This happened to me wen i was completely broken… And i really needed help ur blogs have helped me to come out my pain.So, am really happy for all those people who read ur article’s and blogs cuz i hav come to know dat i was wrong about myself and other people but i have changed my thinking which made my lifeeven better…. A Big Thank You#
And now m always excited to visit ur blog i extraordinarily LOVE IT…… Thank you for all ur efforts and love.. u guys are simply awesome..
LittleTree says
Devon,
I admire you for being there for your friend with cancer. I lost one of my best friends to colon cancer 3 years ago. I saw him before he went to get some specialized treatment in Mexico and then Germany. I felt that couldn’t barge back into his life bc he had a gf, and I was the ex gf (years ago though we always maintained a great connection) and at this time in our lives we were friends, phone friends bc of the distance, both sides of the U.S. I didn’t want to invade their space even though it wasn’t a solid relationship to begin with. At this time, my relationship with my bf was circling the drain, and I was contemplating re-visiting the relationship with my ex and I know he would definitely be game. The ball had been in my court for a long time. Then I found out about the cancer. Somehow I went into shock and denial and I allowed his gf full reign and space. A few phone calls, about his treatment, prayers etc… but somehow I checked out due to the pain. A pain that was deeper than I could ever imagine. What I learned from it was that I have to stay present and walk through the pain and connect. I do regret that I didn’t try harder to ask for more time with him to talk about real heartfelt things. He died 6 months after he visited me. The pain of needing to tell him so much more than in that brief visit was excruciating. He was always one to teach me lessons though. And I learned that I need to express the things I need to before it is too late. I woke up from my shock and denial 3 years after his death thinking that he had just died. When I looked up his obituary online to see the exact date I was floored that I had numbed out for 3 years. Never again. To grieve after 3 years has been even harder than if I had spent more time with him and grieved with him.
Lara says
Hey guys, thank you for yet another important set of reminders. Like Devon, I’ve used your insights to avoid regrets on countless occasions over the past few years. One particular quote I got from one of your emails awhile back has really helped keep me on track — it’s been my mantra every day since I read it and it has really helped me make progress:
“There are far too many capable people who don’t pursue their dreams and goals because they let their fears, or others, talk them out of it.”
Happy New Year!
Marc Chernoff says
I’m happy to hear that quote from our email newsletter resonated so deeply, Lara. Happy New Year to you.
Braja Patnaik says
Marc and Angel, I simply love your blog. I have been a visitor to your blog on and off, and I am never disappointed by your posts. They are always very encouraging and positive and something I can relate to. Thanks for creating and sustaining this blog and community around it.
This year, I would like to live a very intentional life. I will steer the course of my life towards my goals instead of life just happening.
Marc Chernoff says
Thank you for the kindness, Braja. Cheers to living intentionally this year!
olakunle says
Your site is an inspiration to me. Your words have improved my life over the recent past. Thanks a lot and God bless… peace!!!
Rose Costas says
This is a new year and I intend on living it to the fullest. Thanks for the encouragements. I tend to regret every decision I make but after reading your blogs for a while now I am realizing that making sound decisions and standing by them allows me not to have regrets. I also tend to be hard on myself and am also learning that I will make mistakes and err from time to time but that is what make me human.
This is my year and I intend on living and enjoying every minute of it.
Thanks again for a great post to start the year off.
Mathias says
Thanks for another awesome post! I think it’s important to be reminded of a lot of these tips over the course of the year – especially in the beginning, before you start feeling like it’s “too late” to apply them.
The things that will make my year count is practicing my writing and public speaking skills. As long as I make progress in these two areas, the year will have been worth it!
sarah says
your blogs are a great comfort to me. where do I start, first of all, for this year is to have fewer financial ends to meet. thus not have the stress of it all. and to clear the mental and physical clutter that abounds in life. I can’t do it all and I don’t need to have it all. thank you guys for all that you do. keep up the good work.
Zenaida says
Thanks for this list. I think I want to focus entirely on me for a little while. I have been putting others first before me. Plus its best that I leave home and go on my own. Too much drama and my parents are toxic. I don’t want to regret it or feel guilty about my choice.
Maqsood says
Thank you, Marc and Angel. I appreciate you.
ANASTASIA says
Thank you for every piece of advice, every thought, every word of kindness you share with your blog and emails. So precious to me. All the blessings to you!
Jamie says
I can’t thank you enough for these awesome insights and inspirations. I am so grateful I found your blog. Just when I am feeling down or the anxiety seems to overtake me, another wonderful article pops up in my inbox and makes me stop and think and just be, breathe, and enjoy life in the present! You guys have a gift and I thank you so much for sharing it with each and every one of us. Happy New Year!
Lei Lani Lucero says
Thank you both for taking time out of your lives to enrich our lives. I intend to show up, in my life, every day, ready and willing and, yes, ABLE, to make today the best possible day.
liz says
Hello Marc and Angel, thanks for the list-a lot of them resonates. 2016 is my reawakening..top on the list is to appreciate and respect myself -I am enough! . Work on being compassionate and kind without burning out. Watch for actions from friends. I am looking to change careers, I intend to persevere and push through – knocking one brick at a time!. 2015 was great as I fell in love twice and while the relationship didn’t work out and were both painful at the time, I have learnt so much and ready to love again…
Andy Sillars says
Hi Marc and Angel. After finding your website yesterday I plan to read your posts daily.
What caught my attention was points 1, 12 and 20. These are ones I often forget myself as I can often be in too much of a rush to do things. It’s great to have a reminder from time to time.
Deb Tasker says
“We were intended to work through our circumstances, not stay stuck in them”. This quote empowered me to let go of a bad childhood (alcoholics) and move on. I think the message is fluid enough that it can move throughout life with me. I read this message daily.
“For today, I will focus on today & tomorrow”.
These help me for now.
Paul says
Your amazing blogs have helped me and a number of my friends and family. Often, I feel like you’re talking directly to me. Many of your insights and observations apply to my life. Fear of failure has plagued me for years despite many accomplishments and blessings. I have so much to be grateful for! I’m learning to face my fears and embrace failure thanks to you both. Many Happy New Years!
Son says
Yes this is the best advice… Just ‘sleep on it’. Work, but then wait for things to fall into place. Time heals and reveals everything.
Payal says
Love reading your mails. It gives me energy to think positive and get back to a healthy routine life by taking things easy and not panicking. You are a great help and support.
Regards~ Payal & Vibhor
🙂
Julie says
Thank you for this beautiful article. I always have trouble letting go and accepting change but this year I finally feel hopeful. When I get through this emotional time I can feel a new beginning for me.
carol says
Thank you Marc and Angel. I appreciate you both.
Ayush Bahuguna says
The 9th point is highly relatable. We have believed that uncertainty leads to a disaster, but it may, or may not, lead to a disaster. It may lead to success.
I am new to your blog, although I don’t get much time to read, but I try to read at least one post, and whatever I have read till now is great.
Alex says
These are powerful lessons of life, its a blessing to have people like Marc and Angel that tirelessly work helping us realize how life can be better…thank you for putting the work together.
Lisa says
Thank you for creating and keeping up with your site. I’m inspired every time I read through it.
The Untethered Soul is a great read and I highly recommend it as well. It’s one of those books I’ve picked up and re-read almost yearly to keep the message fresh.
Bob says
As usual awesome article. I am rather new to your blogs, this is only my second article yet they have both spoken directly to me at this time in my life…..
I was a very happy guy for oh so long but have recently realizied that is no longer the case. I am working on becoming that “Happy guy” again, I liked him and intend to get back to being him. Thus, I will be making alot of big changes in my life in relative short order. In fact, that is my one and only resolution for this year.
Thank you for this list as so many of the 20 points, if not all 20, apply directly to me and my goal for the year. I would like to know how you generate the exact article exactly when I need it, you guys are awesome and I see that reinforced by all the feedback and comments I read after the articles I’ve read todate. I have subscribed to your blog and look forward to and devour each new article. Most important is that I save them and find myself returning again and again to read them and always seem to find something I missed the first several times I’ve read them.
I think the biggest change I’ll be making to achieve my goal is directing my life in the direction I want it to go rather than letting my life direct me in some other direction. I know I will make some mistakes and bad decisions along the way but now realize that is life and feel comfortable that those bad decisions may in fact lead to positive results anyway and so won’t be afraid to make decisions along the way. I look forward to the next article. Thank you again and a very sucessful and Happy New Year to you both..!!
Marc Chernoff says
Thank you for the kindness, everyone. Angel and I truly appreciate it. Happy New Year to all of you. Let’s make it wonderful, together.
Gautam thakur says
Marc&Angel. You guys have really hacked into the life. This is really great the way you guys express it. It’s really comforting and worth reading. Thank you and Happy new year.
heaven says
Hey Marc & Angel I also luv luv luv your posts. I discovered you guys in 2014 and I’ve come to find myself checking in every so often. The words fly off of the screen with such rich color and deep passion for life and self acceptance. I have to many favorites. Anyhow I’m lucky enough to have made my mind up about really seeing my transitioning threw I’ve lost my mom and I now view my wants and dreams so much clearer now. I’m no longer ashamed and I’m sure I’ll make it this time.i do at times get a bit down for what I have not yet achieved yet I’ve found my drive to push on.no more doubts. Thanks you guys for being a star in the dark. I found that in darkness there is beautiful freedom.
Jamie says
I especially like #12 – it’s a good reminder that stress is a result of how we react to our circumstances, not the circumstances themselves. We control the reaction… It’s the same as worry. We worry about things that haven’t even happened yet, and worry can’t help anything. Recognizing that we are in control can be freeing.