Over the past couple of years, as I’ve watched my son grow from a baby into a remarkable little boy, I’ve learned that a young child can teach an adult three key things:
- to be happy for no specific reason at all
- to always be curious and engaged with whatever is going on in the moment
- to leverage all the available resources to get as much as you possibly can of what you desire 😉
It’s easy to see how the first two points reflect certain aspects of mindfulness – choosing to be happy and present. But, in my case, the third point is the most powerful mindfulness lesson of them all. You see, in our household, the third point often means Mac is begging ME to be more mindful. Because 90% of the time what he desires more than anything else in the world is more of daddy’s undivided attention – my full presence with him.
Yes, my little Mac has taught me a thing or two about the importance of being mindful and present. In fact, he has several unique ways of calling me out whenever I’m doing the opposite. Let me give you one simple, yet profound, example:
If Mac and I are playing in his bedroom and I walk out of the room for a few moments to do something, Mac will look around and shout, “Daddy, where are you?”
Seems like a logical response, right? But here’s the kicker…
If I never leave the room while we’re playing, but my iPhone vibrates with a random notification that distracts me for a few moments, Mac will look directly at me and shout, “Daddy, where are you?”
In both cases, Mac knows I’m not present. To him, my emotionally absent, distracted mindset is akin to me getting up and physically walking out of the room on him.
When I realized this, I made a change.
Recenter Your Mind – 12 Quotations
As you can tell, even though I’ve been studying and practicing mindfulness for the better part of a decade, I’m still very much a student of it (yes, sometimes my son is my best teacher too). And I honestly feel blessed by each new lesson I receive. Because, as I see it, the greatest thing about being a life-long student of mindfulness is that I learn more and more about myself with each passing day. My growing awareness of myself in the present helps me to better understand what’s really going on in my head and heart every step of the way.
If you’ve been feeling anxious a lot lately, or simply out of touch with what’s important to you, I urge you to become a student of mindfulness alongside me. It’s time to recenter your mind.
This morning, after finishing up a coaching call with a new course student who’s working diligently to be more mindful about her top priorities – her family and the impact she’s making with her non-profit startup – I’ve been reflecting on some of the key truths Angel and I live by, and subsequently pass on to our students, that have collectively recentered our minds and improved our mindful awareness over the years. I’ve distilled these truths into twelve easy-to-digest quotations for you, in hopes that you may find value in them today…
- At times, you have to say “no” to good things to be able to say “yes” to important things. You can’t do it all. Be mindful and choose wisely.
- The best gift you can give someone is the purity of your full attention. Just be present with them and pay attention to the little things. Do so and you will discover the best in both yourself and them.
- Your presence can be carried with you wherever you go. Appreciate the small moments. There are few joys in life that equal a good conversation, a good read, a good walk, a good hug, a good smile, or a good deep breath.
- Worry is the biggest enemy of the present moment. It does nothing but steal your joy and keep you very busy doing absolutely nothing at all.
- The problem is rarely the problem. The problem is often the incredible amount of overthinking you’re doing with the problem. Let it go and be free.
- The more anger toward the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving the present. And remember, letting go isn’t about having the ability to forget the past – it’s about having the wisdom and strength to embrace the present.
- Paradise is not a place – it’s a state of mind. Whenever the grass looks greener on the other side… Stop staring, stop comparing, stop complaining, and start watering the grass you’re standing on.
- What separates mindful privilege from empty entitlement is gratitude. A mindful heart is a grateful one – it doesn’t take things for granted. And the greatest gift of this gratitude is that the more grateful you are, the more mindful you become.
- The secret to happiness is not always in doing what you like, but in mindfully liking whatever you do. Be present with each step, do your very best, and let go of the rest. There is always, always, always some reason to be grateful and some interesting lesson to learn along the way.
- The most fundamental lapse of mindfulness – the most common harm we do to ourselves – is to practice ignorance by not having the courage and the respect to slow down and look at ourselves honestly and gently.
- In order to understand the world, we have to turn away from it on occasion. Sometimes we simply need to distance ourselves to see things clearly again. It’s important to remember that downtime, rest, and play are productive too.
- You should sit quietly for fifteen minutes every day to gather your thoughts, unless you’re too busy, in which case you should sit for an hour. Remember this. The world is as we are inside. What we think, we see, and we ultimately become. So gather and choose your thoughts wisely. Think how you want to live.
Mindfulness as a Daily Ritual
Mindfulness as a daily ritual is the ultimate challenge and practice. It’s a way of living, of being, of seeing, of tapping into the full power of your humanity.
Ready to get started?
Use the mindfulness quotes above to recenter yourself.
And then practice…
- Being aware of what’s happening in the present moment without wishing it were different
- Enjoying each pleasant experience without holding on when it changes (which it will)
- Being with each unpleasant experience without fearing it will always be this way (which it won’t)
Ritualize this kind of mindfulness into your daily routines, and you will undoubtedly change the way you spend the rest of your life. (Angel and I build mindful, life-changing rituals with our students in the “Goals and Growth” module of Getting Back to Happy.)
Your turn…
Please share this post with others who you think will benefit from it, and also share your thoughts with us in the comments section below. If you’re up to it, I’d love it if you shared an additional quote, reminder, or strategy that helps you to be more mindful and present, especially when life gets hectic.
And finally, be sure to sign-up for our free newsletter if you’re interested in reading more thought-provoking quotes and related life lessons like the ones covered in this article.
Photo by: Morgan Sessions
Jamie O'Brian says
I love that little story about your son. It jolted my perspective!
And I am honestly so glad I found your blog and signed up for your emails. This email/article is a perfect synthesis of everything I believe but do not always apply in my life. I just printed it and tacked it on the wall in front of me, so I can check it regularly.
Thank you Marc and Angel, your writing, course and coaching have been my guides to living more mindfully, and I’m definitely getting to a better place in my life!
Marc Chernoff says
Jamie, thank you for the extra kindness. And congrats on all the progress you’ve made recently. Let’s keep taking small steps forward, together. 🙂
J.J. says
Beautiful!
I have said before and I will say it again, your 1,000 Little Things book has been helping me let go of a lot of stress from my past, and calm my mind when life gets the best of me. I’ve been reading a couple small experts from your book every morning before I eat breakfast and every evening before I settle down for the night. This little ritual helps me keep a more mindful train of thought.
Here’s one quote I love from your book that relates to being mindful — I actually wrote on my whiteboard in my den almost a year ago, and it’s still there:
No book is just one chapter. No chapter tells the whole story. No mistake defines who we are. Keep turning the pages that need to be turned.
Marc Chernoff says
J.J., I’m so happy you continue to find value in our book. I love the idea of reading small excerpts every day. Angel and I have a ritual where we read two pages of a book we love (usually one we’ve read before), every single day.
Liz says
Excellent quotes, and a lovely story about your son’s mindfulness lesson. My children have taught me in similar ways.
An additional mindfulness quote I’d like to share, that I’m pretty sure I got from your FB page awhile back:
“Worrying does not take away tomorrow’s problems, it takes away today’s peace of mind.”
Have a great day!
Justice Bissabah says
There’s incredible integrity and insight in what I just read — lovely presentation! Wow!
Marc Chernoff says
Thank you, Justice. 🙂
Sophie Hawkins says
“You should sit quietly for fifteen minutes every day to gather your thoughts, unless you’re too busy, in which case you should sit for an hour.” This is spot on! I will be quoting you Marc (and I’ll link to your blog too of course). If we are too busy to sit quietly for 15 minutes, we are too busy, period. Thanks. I’m enjoying your site!
Peace,
Sophie
Vishal says
Awesome quotes. Especially loved #4,5 and 6. We come onto this earth to live our lives. Worrying about others, being angry about how they treated us, or being vindictive gets us nowhere.
Once we let ego go, and attach ourselves to a larger purpose, we become more receptive to mindfulness and peace. Easier said than done, though 🙂
Lovely advice here Marc. Off to share it.
sad mom says
I am very angry and heartbroken right now because my 13 yr old son’s “friends’ have been bullying him verbally and emotionally for years and I am just finding out the extent of it. He no longer wants to go to his school and is having headaches and stomach aches.
And I am worrying about it but have been told so many conflicting things about dealing with the friends and their families, or not, and I know the school will be useless (personal experience). I tell him it’s not him, it’s their own fear and anger, but he is crushed.
I am now trying to get him into another school for the fall. I have finally gotten the ok from him to talk to the other boys parents (again), especially the one he has been friends with for 9 years, but I don’t know what to say. He says I can talk now because there’s only one more week of ‘real school’ after this so he can handle the blowback for that long.
Any words of wisdom or links to help much appreciated.
Kylie says
sending you good vibes *hug*
Marc Chernoff says
Sad mom, I’m truly sorry to hear about your son’s bullying issues at school. It sound like you are already taking proactive steps to help him. The key is to make decisions with him, not for him. Keep him involved in the “moves” you make.
Here are two articles to give you some healthy food for thought:
1. 7 Smart Ways to Deal with Toxic People
2. 10 Proven Ways to Raise Smarter, Happier Children
Dolores says
The best part of the whole article:
“Practice…
Being aware of what’s happening in the present moment without wishing it were different
Enjoying each pleasant experience without holding on when it changes (which it will)
Being with each unpleasant experience without fearing it will always be this way (which it won’t)”
Meron Shebru says
Oh, you are always life saver! Thanks so much.
Gururaj NS says
Really, these quotes are the holistic approach towards mindfulness. In fact, all of your posts are. Proudly saying I’m getting fruitfulness out of it what you write and share. Thank you so much to both of you.
Thea Dunlap says
Beautiful! Thank you for sharing this. It really made my day. 🙂
hameed says
Really awesome and so useful, Marc and Angel. You guys are so awesome… keep inspiring us!
zey says
Truly inspiring! Thanks a lot.
Stefany says
Beautiful, and the story of your son is exceptional. Just to see how little children can teach us so much.
Life is so beautiful when we experience it from a mindful perspective. We start to be thankful and grateful for the smallest things.
Sana Sayyed says
I always await for your new emails (newsletter). Because each time I read your blog posts/newsletter I receive many things from it and it flushes many negative things out of me in the present. I really appreciate how, in simple detail, you get in to human behaviour — our mind, body, actions, moods and so.
And I find your newsletter a kind of lesson for my future also (not just my present) — I try my best to practice it as well. I will always keep your teachings with me forever, I will keep refreshing it by sharing with my family, friends, cousin and by practicing same on myself.
Thank you so much for doing such a great job Marc and Angel. Keep writing! Keep growing! So we keep learning & improving. 🙂
Cathy says
Thank you! You and your wife are a such a gift to so many of us.
I woke up this morning with the weight of the world on my soul and just couldn’t see the point of trying anymore. Being alone and abandoned is without a doubt the hardest emotion to live through. Life has slammed me the last 5 years and I have been working really hard on changing my mindset. I’ve bought your book and have worked hard on myself. Yet, today, I woke up so tired of trying and had allowed myself to spiral down thinking that life will never get better (and all the scary thoughts that goes with that). I really didn’t want to feel this way. I then opened up my emails and read your words.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart. It is very hard some days to live a life of gratitude but your words have hit a cord today that I needed. Even though its hard, I have to realize that nothing is permanent! You reminded me of life’s possibilities and my responsibility to live in the present. It also helps to know that I am not alone. That is huge.
I’m posting this on my mirror!
Being aware of what’s happening in the present moment without wishing it were different
Enjoying each pleasant experience without holding on when it changes (which it will)
Being with each unpleasant experience without fearing it will always be this way (which it won’t)”
Elisa says
Incredible how sometimes we feel unique and alone in our situation…..and then we read, like now, the exact description of our own experience and feelings! Thanks Cathy, thanks to the authors of this blog, you all are a great help in finding a new beginning, new dreams and peace!!!!!!
Marc Chernoff says
Cathy, cheers to being present! I’m inspired to know that this post moved your mindset in a positive way. 🙂
Betty-Jean says
Great recanting of an experience with your son that so many of us parents can relate to with our own children. I work in education where the busyness of the day can take away from being mindful in the moments we share with students. I am sure that many of our students can ask the question, “Where are you teacher?” To support the empowerment of teachers, I often share this quote with them , “The bad news is time flies, the good news is you’re the pilot.” Glad that my husband forwarded me this link. I will be following you as a perpetual student of Mindfulness.
Ivy Chang says
I’ve paid attention to being grateful for many, many years (25) because it showed me how I’ve redirected my life to be happy. For the last year, I’ve practiced being mindful and the results are life changing. Thanks.
Kevin Halls says
Back reading these articles again and so glad I have as I’ve been too stressed, which is silly because that’s when there needed. I love walking and after a good stroll or hike outdoors I always feel better in mind and body. But on a walk I like to think things over and for some strange reason I always return more positive ! Sorry if I’m going off track a bit here but for me fresh air and some time to think works for me. Just thought I’d share this. Cheers.
Irena says
Great, great very mindful quotes! Thank you for sharing.
Kat says
This is amazing. A great post! I read each and every word, related, reflected, and absolutely agree that mindfulnes is SO key to living a FULL, present LIFE. Thank you for the meaningful read. Blessings!
Lynn Vartan says
Fantastic! Really great!
Alicia says
A friend sent this to me to read, because of my present relationship situation! It has certainly given me a whole lot to think about and be mindful of how to better handle it. Loved the read and intend to read it again, so much of what you’ve have said will help me handle things better! Thank you so much!
Betty says
Truly an awe-inspiring article!
Ibrahim says
I’m sincerely suggesting your blog to all my friends… I’ve changed myself in many thing after reading your blog… Thanks and keep going.
Maria Salim says
Dear Marc & Angel,
Very grateful to both of you for helping us with cope up with the real things that we have to deal with everyday.
If you could, please elaborate one this for me: “Being with each unpleasant experience without fearing it will always be this way.(which it won’t)”.
Many thanks,
Maria
Noni says
I love #2. With a lot of distractions now – technology, gadgets, social media, etc., one can hardly give full attention we essentially need. So, I am grateful for all those people who can give me an eye-to- eye contact and give their full attention even at a short period of time.
There’s so much amazing things in life that cannot be seen by our eyes but our soul. Thanks for sharing this!
Jessie G says
I’ve gleaned helpful information from every one of the articles I’ve read ~ this one was no exception. I subscribed to emails just now because doing so will give me something to share with family & friends who are not on G+. I appreciate how you & Angel share your sage advice so succinctly; don’t have to read a whole book to gain some very valuable tips for living the best life. Thank you both for the work that you do that results in benefiting so many! May you continue to be blessed!
Ann Keane says
I am really challenged today and needed to be reminded of my knowledge of mindfulness. Slow to my pace and all the pieces fall into place. Thank you for your inspiration.
Roger Boucher says
There’s was an interesting part there where you mentioned what a person should do. Should is a negative word and the sub communication is that you are wrong or bad. We would be serving ourselves and others by doing away with that word.
You would serve yourself best to sit quietly for…. Sitting quietly for 15 minutes will allow you to….
The best part of taking 15…
You get the idea. I thought this was excellent and although I pointed out one thing I think could be different, this is something I will be passing on and using. Thank you.
Kylie says
Thanks for this! I went recently on a business trip with a colleague that I have never really gotten on with. We have worked together for 10 years, and I was secretly dreading the time we would have to spend together.
So I thought, I just have to let this go – or it’s going to be a disaster. It was one of the most productive and easy trips we have ever had. All of the participants were positive, there were no big issues, and I found a new respect for my colleague.
Liv Lively says
I’m absolutely obsessed with this post, the best one on mindfulness I’ve read so far! I hope it’s ok that i linked this post in an article about living mindfully on my blog?
If not, I’ll take it down immediately!
Thanks for the lovely post, I seriously need to take the advice!
Ashlee says
I absolutely love this! This is the third or fourth time I’ve read it in the past few days. Thank you for your amazing words!
Kathi says
I so love these quotes.. and good thoughts! Thank you!
I think I need to better understand “mindfulness” and “overthinking”
I do both.
Suzanne Ince says
Never make decisions at night, wait until the light of day.
X
Avinash Viswambharan says
I really enjoy reading your articles. It gives me a good amount of positive input daily. It helps me stay strong and focussed during my difficult times.
I also have a quote in mind in this regard:
“The PAST is lost to u forever. The FUTURE isn’t yet come. NOW is the only time u own. USE IT WELL!”
Samira Amies W says
Thank You!! I printed it out and gave it to some of my co-workers too. Love this post! ?
Jim Effle says
If I’m distracted while playing, my 3 year old grandson gently grabs my face and turns it to his, so he is looking directly into my eyes…then there is the admonition that “we’re playing right now!”
Also, a quote I use with my management training class is that “worry is like sitting in a rocking chair…you can expend a lot of energy doing it, but you aren’t going anywhere!”