The reason for our suffering, in all walks of life, is our resistance to the truth.
Sometimes it’s brutally hard to accept life’s greatest lessons. And yet we must!
Because it’s lessons like these that ultimately make our lives beautiful, by showing us how to thrive even through the toughest of times…
1. Happiness doesn’t start with a relationship, a vacation, a job, or money. It starts with your thinking and what you tell yourself every day.
Typically, when I ask someone “How are you?” they reply, “I’m OK.” But this morning the attendant at the gas station replied, “Oh, I am absolutely marvelous!” Her enthusiastic response made me smile, so I asked her what was making her feel so marvelous. She continued, “I’m healthy, my son and daughter are both healthy, and we all have access to clean water and food and shelter and so much more. So I don’t have any good reason not to be positive.” The difference was simply her attitude and her choice of words. She wasn’t necessarily better off than anyone else I spoke to this morning, but she sure seemed a lot happier.
For many of us, I suspect that sometime between the innocent delight that we start out with in life and the grim acceptance of grown-up responsibility, we slip into an unintentional and subconscious mindset of burden that fuels lots of negative self-talk.
Just think about how you tend to talk about your average day. Suppose you have a daily to-do list you’re working through, and a friend or colleague asks you what you are doing with your day. So you reply, “Ugh, I have to respond to these work emails… and I have to visit my new client’s office… and I have to go to my daughter’s dance rehearsal after work… etc.” Talking about your responsibilities in this way does nothing but make them feel like a drag, a heavy set of weights dropped upon your shoulders, things you have to force yourself to do – all of these burdensome “have to, have to, have to” chores.
But what if you simply changed your answers from “I have to” to “I get to”?
It’s just a one-word difference that can make a big difference in how you think, and subsequently feel and behave. Give it a try. Because the truth is, if you don’t like something, you can either change it or change the way you think about it. And the latter is often the best first step.
Each and every day, the real battle takes place in your mind. If you’re defeated in your thoughts, you’ve already lost. So why not set yourself up for a win today? Be reasonably positive.
2. If you want something in life, you have to also want the costs of getting it.
Most people want the reward without the risk. The shine without the grind. But you can’t have a destination without a journey. And a journey always has costs – at the very least, you have to invest your time and energy into it every step of the way.
So, instead of thinking about what you want, first ask yourself:
“What am I willing to give up to get it?”
Or, for those inevitably hard days:
“What is worth suffering for?”
Seriously, think about it…
If you want the six-pack abs, you have to want the sore muscles, the sweaty clothes, the mornings or afternoons at the gym, and the healthy meals. If you want the successful business, you have to also want the long days, the stressful business deals and decisions, and the possibility of failing twenty times to learn what you need to know to succeed in the long run. But if you catch yourself wanting something day in and day out, month after month, yet you never take action and thus you never make any progress, then maybe you don’t really want it after all, because you’re not willing to suffer through the effort and work it’s going to take to achieve it.
But if you decide that you DO want it, then take a long, hard look at your daily routines and activities, and ask yourself another question:
“Based on my daily routines and actions, where can I expect to be in a year from now?”
This question can be helpful because if you have an idea about what you want the next chapter of your life to look like, you have to consistently DO things that support this idea. An idea, after all, isn’t going to do anything for you until you do something productive with it. In fact, as long as that great idea is just sitting around in your head it’s doing far more harm than good. Your subconscious mind knows you’re procrastinating on something that’s important to you. The required work that you keep postponing causes stress, anxiety, fear, and usually more procrastination – a vicious cycle that continues to worsen until you interrupt it with positive ACTION.
3. No matter how hard you work, you can’t have everything you want.
Eventually, most of us end up settling in some part of our life. We let go of certain ideals and dreams, we compromise, and we make trade-offs. We gradually learn that we can’t have everything we want, because not every outcome in life can be perfectly controlled. But if we pay close attention, we also learn that we can make the best of every outcome, and still get a lot of what we want in life, if we manage our time, energy and attitude appropriately.
And these realizations collectively lead to an interesting question:
When should you settle, or compromise, and when should you continue fighting hard for what you ideally want to achieve?
There is no one-size-fits-all answer to this question, but when you encounter a situation that forces you to choose between compromise and fighting forward against the opposition, it might help to also ask yourself:
“Do I really need this, or do I just kinda want it?”
Being able to distinguish needs from wants is essential in every walk of life. Never let go of an outcome you truly need in your life, but be reasonably flexible on the outcomes you want but could live fine without.
In other words, choose your battles wisely, and don’t let ‘perfect’ become the enemy of ‘great.’ Remind yourself that what you pay attention to grows. So focus on what really matters and let go of what does not.
Don’t give up 50% of your life working 50-hour weeks at a day job that makes you absolutely miserable. Don’t abandon your sanity for the wrong reasons. Don’t neglect lifelong goals and dreams that have withstood the tests of time, and still bring incredible meaning into your life.
If you really need something, fight hard for it!
But for everything else, let go a little. Loosen your grip, compromise… settle.
Settle on less of the unessential, to get more of what you really need and want in life.
4. Your fantasies are your biggest enemies.
The older you grow, the more quiet you become. Life humbles you gradually as you age. You realize how much nonsense you’ve wasted time on.
The biggest nonsense creator of them all?
Your mind… and the fantasies it likes to project into every facet of your life. You’ve likely fantasized your way into headaches and heartaches hundreds of times in the past! And you aren’t alone either.
We all stress ourselves out… because of fantasies.
We all procrastinate to the point of failure… because of fantasies.
We all get angry with others, with ourselves, and with the world at large… because of fantasies.
We all miss out on many of life’s most beautiful and peaceful moments… because of fantasies.
This might seem hard to believe at first, so let’s look at some super common examples…
- When we wake up and immediately start fantasizing and worrying about all the things we have to do, we aren’t really doing anything but adding stress to an otherwise pleasant morning.
- When we fear the potential of failure, and we procrastinate in response to our fear, our fearful fantasies force us to miss great opportunities for success.
- When someone upsets us, this is often because they aren’t behaving according to our fantasy of how they “should” behave. The frustration, then, stems not from their behavior but from how their behavior differs from our fantasy.
- When we think about making a healthy change in our lives (like getting in shape), we are initially inspired by the fantasy of what life will feel like while we’re getting healthier, but… that’s not reality. So when the reality of working hard to exercise and eat right surfaces, and it doesn’t match up with our inspiring fantasy, we give up.
- When we’re having a conversation with someone, we’re distracted with fantasies of how this person views us, or we’re distracted by our propensity to fantasize about how to respond before they even finish talking, and thus we miss the opportunity to connect more deeply with them.
- When we move through our days, our minds are stuck fantasizing about other times and places, and so we miss the pleasant surprises and simple pleasures surrounding us.
- And the list goes on…
Of course, sometimes we get out of our own heads long enough to focus on the present and make the best of it, but it’s NOT often enough. So remind yourself, as often as necessary, to see the moment for what it really is, not what you think it should be. Accept it, so you can make the best of it.
Move through each day and practice seeing life as it is…
Do what you have to do without worrying and fearing the worst, lamenting about what might happen, or obsessing over how difficult your work is. Just begin, take it one step at a time, and do the best you can.
See others for who they are, and accept them, without needless judgments. Choose not to allow their behavior to dominate your thoughts and emotions. Just be present and accepting. Then decide if you want to spend extra time with them. If not, part ways peacefully.
Carry your presence with you wherever you go. Appreciate the little moments. Remind yourself that there are few joys in life that equal a good laugh, a good conversation, a good morning walk, a good afternoon hug, or a good deep breath at the end of the day.
In the end, we can fantasize all we want, but it doesn’t improve our reality.
So let’s replace our fantasies with full presence…
And invest our best into what we’ve got, right here, right now. (Angel and I build actionable rituals for making the best of the present with our students in the “Happiness & Positive Living” module of Getting Back to Happy.)
5. Everyone and everything in life is limited.
You can never read all the books you want to read. You can never train yourself in all the skill-sets you want to have. You can never be all the things you want to be and live all the lives you want to live. You can never spend all the time you want with the people you love. You can never feel every possible color, tone and variation of emotional and physical experience possible in life. You are incredibly limited, just like everyone else.
In the game of life, we all receive a unique set of unexpected limitations and variables in the field of play. The question is: How will you respond to the hand you’ve been dealt? You can either focus on the lack thereof or empower yourself to play the game sensibly and resourcefully, making the very best of every outcome as it arises, even when it’s heartbreaking and hard to accept.
In the end, what matters most is to focus on what matters most. By doing so, you get to truly experience the various sources of beauty and opportunity in your life while each of them lasts.
Let’s take a moment and revisit the notion of being limited by the reality of not being able to spend all the time you want with someone you love. When someone you love passes away too soon, that’s undoubtedly one of the most heartbreaking limitations to cope with, and the general principles for coping with this kind of tragic limitation is universally applicable to less severe situations too…
Imagine a person who gave meaning to your life is suddenly no longer in your life (at least not in the flesh), and you’re not the same person without them. You have to change who you are – you’re now a best friend who sits alone, a widow instead of a wife, a dad without a daughter, or a next-door neighbor to someone new. You want life to be the way it was, before death, but it never will be.
Angel and I have dealt with the loss of siblings and best friends to illness, so we know from experience that when you lose someone you can’t imagine living without, your heart breaks wide open. And the bad news is you never completely get over the loss – you will never forget them. However, in a backwards way, this is also the good news.
You see, death is an ending, which is a necessary part of living. And endings are necessary for beauty too – otherwise it’s impossible to appreciate someone or something, because they are unlimited. Limits illuminate beauty, and death is the definitive limit – a reminder that you need to be aware of this beautiful person or situation, and appreciate this beautiful thing called life. Death is also a beginning, because while you’ve lost someone special, this ending, like every loss, is a moment of reinvention. Although sad, their passing forces you to reinvent your life, and in this reinvention is an opportunity to experience beauty in new, unseen ways and places. And finally, of course, death is an opportunity to celebrate a person’s life, and to be grateful for the priceless beauty they showed you.
6. Not everyone you trust will be trustworthy (and you’re better off without some relationships).
“It was just a mistake,” he said. But the really painful thing was, it felt like the biggest mistake was mine, for trusting him.
Can you relate in any way? I’m sure you can.
Eventually, every one of us suffers from some kind of heart-wrenching betrayal. And in a backwards way, it’s what unites us. When it happens to you, the key is to not let one person’s despicable decisions destroy your trust in everyone else. Don’t let them take that from you.
Trust is essential to building and maintaining deep and meaningful connections – it is the foundation for all healthy relationships. Rebuilding trust after betrayal, of course, is not easy, and sometimes not even appropriate with the person who betrayed you. But regardless of the details, and what you ultimately decide to do with that particular relationship, the most important decision is who YOU decide to be after a betrayal.
Do your best to be resourceful.
People will come in and out of your life for different purposes and periods of time. Every one of them can be a teacher if you are willing to learn. Some lessons are far more painful than others, but all have the power to add to your strength of character.
By processing a betrayal resourcefully, you are mining that experience for the pearls it holds so you can let go of the rest.
The bottom line is that some people will only be there for you as long as you have something they need. When you no longer serve a purpose to them, they will leave. The good news is, if you tough it out, you’ll eventually weed these people out of your life and be left with some great people you can count on.
Just keep doing your best to spend time with nice people who are smart, driven and like-minded. Relationships should help you, not hurt you. Surround yourself with people who reflect the person you want to be. Choose friends who you are proud to know, people you admire, who love and respect you – people who make your day a little brighter simply by being in it. (Angel and I discuss this in more detail in the “Relationships” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)
7. Owning your truth can be hard, but not nearly as hard as spending your life running away from it.
“I don’t think others like me. They like versions of me that I have somehow spun for them… versions of me that they have invented in their minds… versions of me with only the characteristics that are easy to like. But that’s not who I really am. And it scares me. After all, who’s going to like the guy that can’t stop second-guessing himself? The guy that cries? The guy that’s losing control? The guy that hides from his problems? The guy that keeps pushing everyone away? Who’s going to like the real weakness in me… who’s going to like the real me?”
I wrote those lines in my journal fifteen years ago when I was struggling through a mild bout of depression. What gradually healed me was my willingness to own my truth and be openly vulnerable about it. Doing so, of course, isn’t easy. Being vulnerable means accepting who you are and having the courage to share it with the world. To show up, not as who you think you should be or who you want people to think you are, but as the real YOU, and to be open and welcoming to however the world responds. It’s risky, but not nearly as hazardous as giving up on true love and honesty and acceptance – the priceless experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the dark corners of ourselves will we discover the hidden power of our inner light.
So please remember, no matter what age, race or sex you are, underneath all your external decorations you are a pure, beautiful being. You have light to shine, and missions to accomplish. Celebrate being different, off the beaten path, a little on the weird side, your own special creation. If you find yourself feeling like a fish out of water, by all means find a new stream to swim in. But don’t deny yourself… embrace yourself!
Be YOU in a world that’s trying to influence every move you make.
Take the road less traveled when it feels right under your feet.
Do more than just exist.
We all exist. The question is: Do you live?
Own your truth. Learn from it.
And LIVE!
Closing Thoughts… on Making Life Beautiful
If you only remember two words from this whole article, let them be: “Learn” and “Believe.”
Learn: As in… learn through experience. Learn from others. Remain humble, open-minded and teachable. Put yourself out there and let it all sink it. Push yourself to the edge of your comfort zone, so you can expand it and grow a little more confident every day.
Believe: As in… believe in yourself and your ability to succeed. Believe in your intuition, especially when you have to choose between two good paths. Believe that the answers are out there waiting. Believe that life will surprise you again and again. Believe that the journey is the destination. Believe that it’s all worth your while. Believe that you are confident enough to see it through.
Your turn…
If you’re feeling up to it, we would love to hear from YOU.
Which lesson mentioned above resonates with you the most today, and why?
Leave a comment below and share your thoughts.
Also, if you haven’t done so already, be sure to sign-up for our free newsletter to receive new articles like this in your inbox each week.
Heather says
M&A, this post is absolutely fantastic! One of the longer posts I’ve read on your site, but well worth the read. I’ll be sharing with with some friends in a moment.
As for which lesson resonated most with me, I have to say number 3 is the very reason I began reading your blog, and eventually took advantage of your course and coaching offerings. I didn’t know when to let go. I’m a reasonably successful individual in both my professional and personal lives, but for the longest time I was trying to be everything to everyone and I didn’t realize it.
On the business end, I always wanted bigger and better, and on the personal end, I wanted to be loved by everyone all the time. This led to some pretty serve moments of confusion, desperation and depression.
The self-inquiry tools and tiny daily rituals you’ve guided me through gradually turned my thinking around, and thus turned my life around. As you’ve said in this post, I figured out how to work on what was important and let go of the rest.
Anyhow, thank you as always for your guidance and service.
Jay says
Marc, every lesson you mentioned is important, but for me it’s number 4 — letting go of fantasies — that’s been my ongoing battle. After attending your Think and Live Better event last year, I began practicing the self-inquiry strategies that you and Angel challenged us to use. It’s made a world of difference in my life. And although I still struggle, the struggling is getting far easier to cope with.
Thanks for dropping this on in my email box when I needed a good reminder that I’m on the right track!
Vivian says
Just wanted to leave a quick comment to say THANK YOU Marc and Angel.
Thank you for being consistently helpful in my life. Your blog and book are invaluable resources of inspiration to me.
Every point in this article makes perfect sense to me, and yet I needed these reminders. I’m a work in progress and I’ve still got a lot of good work to do.
Judith says
Reading these articles is like renewing my spirit each time. Amazing, authentic and most of all absolutely impacting. Thank you guys!
Rajan Thomas Choondal says
It’s a beautiful article. Half the globe away, it resonates with the local wisdom. But you have put it so beautifully, that it was a compelling read. All the points mentioned are equally valuable to follow in life. I am trying sincerely to make these lessons a part of my daily routines.
Monica says
These are so good. Sharing with my Facebook followers now. 😉 Thank you for the insightful list!! Aloha- 🙂
Shebaz Mehdi says
Absolutely insightful lines! I like every word! I am also facing some depression in my life but now I am struggling to change myself gradually. Please pray for my success.
Alex says
Wonderfully and beautifully said. We all need to remind ourselves and stay positive no matter what situation we’re in. Life is not only a destination but a journey of ups and downs that bring great lessons and value.
Suusey says
Great article! The part about journey being the destination struck me as so true! Also I loved the stress on being willing to learn.. ego often stops us from learning from others. Thanks for a great read..
Martie says
Thoroughly enjoyed reading this! So many good thoughts to take in. For me, numbers 6 and 7 resonate. People pleasing really takes its toll on one’s authentic self. And believing everyone has the same standards and values you do, may not always hold true. Lastly, reading the comments here is beneficial too. I see others identify the lesson that speaks to them and realize we are all on the same path, experiencing our own unique learning curve. Here’s to a safe and happy journey for us all….
Rima says
Hi Marc and Angel, I look forward to your emails regularly and each one touches me and appears to be answers to my personal struggles.
Having worked for decades as a Mental health professional, I have been saying similar things to others, but it gets difficult to maintain resilience in life some times….and that’s when the universe brings angels like you in life. Thank you for your support. You can never imagine what your words mean to me. God bless.
Elizabeth says
I would have to Echo this thank you Marc and Angel, the main point for me today is it’s incredibly decent and caring of you two to provide so much content and good guidance without charging people for it. That is exceptional in today’s world.
Joyce says
One of your very best posts… it was honest and heartrending and vulnerable. It helped me to see myself… thank you so much.
Eileen says
Love this blog.
For me I have to distinguish between want and need.
Most of my wants are unnecessary fantasies.
Thanks for reminding me.
Eileen
Benjamin says
The limited nature of almost everything is something that has resonated deeply with me. It has opened up my eyes to appreciate time, life, people, friends and family more.
Thanks.
barbara falvey says
Love your posts! This one is particularly helpful and insightful. Thank you!
Fred says
Sublimely sober.
Gil says
Just gout through 6 months unemployed. Spent 3 of it living in an un insulated, un heated garage. Can’t tell you how many very cold nights your words got me through. The journey is the destination, I love it.
Thank you so, G
Kim Baines says
Thank you a really resonant piece I think I am mired in quite a few of these.
Constance says
You had me at #1 … I do believe that many times the universe is looking out for us. I have in the last several months gotten into a very morbid frame of mind. This is not like me. I am normally a very upbeat, positive and forward moving person. I find myself in a position where I have become very dependent and unable to take care of myself. It is a long story but in short I do believe it has been the cause of this negative thought process. And the part about fantasizing!! I have recently created an entirely different life for myself, day dreaming that I would do one thing or another which basically require me to completely abandon everything I have in my life now; therefore making lots of room for wasted time. I’ve come a long way in my life; from being the person you speak about working 50 hours a week in a job that I hate to spending half my year in Costa Rica. Your article has made me realize how lucky I am despite a change in circumstances. Time is limited for me to discover how I should be earning a living, but I see now that even if the worse happens and I have to do the normal 9-5 thing again for a while, I have had experiences that many of my peers never will. Life is full of surprises indeed. I am lucky to have come across the 2 of you and am continually grateful for your posts … especially this one that I came across today.
Michele says
This was your best post so far, Imo. So truthful. So real and honest. That’s what I’m aiming for this year. Truth and honesty. Nothing more. ?
Robert Vasquez says
Really appreciate you two! You continue to put out beautiful things out in the world. Your double presence is felt among many people. I encourage my friends and family to get on your email list. I am very proud of what you two have accomplished and the impact you have had on my life and many others.
Shantae says
PHENOMENAAAAAAAAAAL POST…THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!??
Jessika says
This post contained exact words that I needed to hear after a long weekend (and life) of torturing myself with fantasies.
This post helped me to realize that I am not alone and that these feelings are a part of life.
Thank you.
Sally HIRALDO says
I love ur blogs and ur words are so inspiring!!!! I’m working on my own inner journey and all ur writings are helping me see things very differently. THANK U!!!!
Erin says
Really needed to read this today! Ahh-mazingly true…
Chelsey says
This post is everything! I needed to hear these words today, I have shared this with my close friends. Thank you for your words of wisdom! I always turn to your blog 🙂
Karen Conrad says
I have been working with depression and ptsd all of my 60 years of life . It is a difficult journey to say the least. I try my very best and hold on to precious times with all of my 11 grandchildren. And often I have limited energy to do so.
Every day is a challenge. And I work in so many modalities . I would certainly like to see more progress and better outcomes.
Rebecca says
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately (the good kind!)
Late last year, I realized that my imagination has frequently sabotaged my success. In particular in social relationships. I have a habit of creating an “image” of who someone is in my mind then being hurt when I finally realize that’s not who they were at all.
I was responding to my fantasy of who that person was.
I was suddenly able to step out of my thoughts and realize what I was doing. For whatever reason, this fact never occurred to me until recently. Now, I’m super-aware of it and try to stop myself if I start to go down that mental path. For me, this one principle alone has been life-changing. Now, I’m sharing this revelation with my friends. Now, when friends ask me if I’m interested in a particular man, I will say, “I don’t know. I’m just trying to get to know him and that takes time.” This is HUGE for me.
I’m also trying to practice mindfulness, to stay in the present moment. This has absolutely helped. I would love more resources on how to stop this habit.
Daniel Blazevski says
Hello,
I am quite young, compared to most people who are likely to visit this sight. But this blog has helped me nonetheless. I am a transgender (polysexual) male, although you may not tell by viewing my physical appearance. I am going through tough times, my parents may never accepts me, and I have other problems besides being transgender (such as anorexia and anxiety). But, where I reside, is my school holidays. This means that I have to spend time with a family which doesn’t accept me. I tend to have fantasies about leaving, but this blog helped me view things in a different perspective. I can still be who I am, but I need to be careful, for my well being. I feel more proud of myself, and I know I deserve happiness.
So thank you, Marc and Angel, for confirmation that I am not the monster most of society think I am. 🙂
Helen says
Well done Daniel. Just keep being you. In a perfect world you would be accepted by everyone but the ones that accept you will be “your people” and you will find your way. You are very brave and good things will come your way. Peace, love and blessings to you.
Nita Lestari says
Dear Marc & Angel,
Thank you very much for this very insightful reading! You have brighten my life! 🙂
Made Pramana says
Thank you so much for this article. I learned a lot.
John Paul Lim Gabule says
Your words have touched my soul again.
Erik says
M&A AS ALWAYS SUCH TRUE RARE GEMS I’M SURE THAT MY MOST GLORIOUS DAYS ARE IN FRONT OF ME .HAPPY NEW YEAR PEACE&BLESSINGS TO ALL.GOD SPEED
Amy Stainthorpe says
Great motivational article. I think point 2 rings true for me. I’m trying to get my home business off the ground and if I’m honest, I’m probably not embracing the cost of what is involved to succeed. Instead of being desperate to sit on the sofa each night, maybe I need to put a few more hours in. It’s finding the balance which as I get older I’m definitely getting better at. Thanks for some useful tips
Liam says
Just brilliant big thanks
Deanna says
This is so beautiful, and different than anything I have ever read. Number 4 and 5 resonated with me the most. I think 4 has to be reminded to us all the time, so thank you. And 5 is something I have been going through for the last year, it has been a lot of learning and many of the things you have said, I have seen all the beauty after death. Thank you, keep doing what you’re doing.
sammy Nganga says
This article was a great eye-opener. I just realized my fantasies are my worst enemy. I’m learning to accept the cards life has dealt me and making the best out of every situation, no matter how good or unpleasant it may be. Thanks for your weekly lessons. Much appreciated.
Kumar says
These are extremely brutal but necessary life lessons. Thanks for this fantastic post.
Megan says
This post really hit home for me especially the last two parts on learning and believing in yourself. I have been working on improving my confidence in myself and reading this was so inspiring, thank you for sharing your thoughts!
Debbie Saporta says
You are both so insightful, genuine, & compassionate people. Your articles have always touched parts of my heart! I share your posts on my page, so others can benefit from your wisdom! Keep up your great work! You have helped me & so many more than you know!
Thank you!
John says
Very good article, comes at the right time.
Andee says
Hey hey, #4 really resonated with me. It’s exactly what I needed to be reminded of at this particular time, to stop getting caught in my head about relationships, work, etc. I’ve always been a dreamer and sometimes get caught in them and need to get re-grounded. Perfect timing, as always. Thank you 🙂
Jonathon Martin says
This article was really special to me, it built confident and hope it inspired people like me. The journey on the reading made fun with me, and I came to know more life facts that really help to survive with strong soul.
Chris Mage says
The sixth point ‘ Not everyone you trust will be trustworthy ‘ is a lesson i have already learnt in my life the brutal way. When people get comfortable with someone in a relationship they tend to open up and tell their deepest secrets. Sometimes the other person shows their true colour later in the relationship and it hurts and it changes the way you trust people the rest of your life.
Faith says
I LOVE this. All are great lessons and I intend to re-read as I’m sure each day something different will resonate with me. Today it’s #1. I have been searching for a replacement for “have to” and you’ve solved that for me.
Vela says
Thank you for this lovely inspired writing. Today, when a colleague behaved in a way that was inconsiderate, I asked myself if that was because I was expecting him to behave according to my fantasy of how he should behave. The very act of asking that question made me feel better.
Piper D. says
This post is one of the best I have read about these topics. Im currently working through something and this website in general really helps! Please keep posting. It helps. It really does.
Tipi says
Wow this is what I really needed to be reminded of right now. All points resonate! Thank you!
Sanskriti Jitani says
Hi M&A,
This is something that came to me when I needed it the most!
So beautifully relatable! So empowering!
Though easier said than done, these are pearls of wisdom.
THANK YOU! Keep up the great work!
O says
Great job again, m & a.