Outstanding! It’s like you followed me around in 2017. I mean everything is on point! And I’m ordering book and trying to get tickets for SD. Nothing more right on the mark. Merrry Christmas and Haapy New Year I’m all in and most of all thank you I appreciate it.
Marc and Angel do you talk to God directly? Very informative material WAOOOH!!!!! Am not getting tired of reading. I started reading some articles in the morning, and now it’s been many hours. May God abundantly give you more material to write. Its a talent. Thank you so so much
Thank you so much for this entire article: every point resonates with me but if I had to choose one it would be #17 Saying goodbye so you can say hello! I just ended a 15 year relationship and it is the most painful thing I think I ever had to do. Now I truly understand that that situation and that person was not good for my personal growth! Out with the old and in with the new!
Thank you both so much for this…. looking forward to a happy, healthy, prosperous new year!
Awesome write up, I have started taking chances and creating my own happiness. From now on my watch word…. I love these words. Thanks and a happy blessed Christmas.
You guys are so good! You emails and blog posts always make a difference. Thank you for inspiring me to take positive action in my life. Merry Christmas and Happy New year ahead.
Again and again Thanking u for making a difference ? Wishing u a merry Christmas and a very healthy and peaceful new year….? missing San Diego in Feb but ? ti make it happen in attending your next one in Miami. My love and appreciation always! Perla
What a wonderful reminder to keep in mind when we are counting down the last few days of the year. The 18 uncomfortable things to start doing for yourself in the year ahead is a good guideline to reference when I get off track. After reading your article I did notice that I avoided many things because I talked myself out of doing it. No more! This is the year that I prove to myself that “I matter.” Thank you!
Have a wonderful Holiday!
I wish I could afford to go to San Diego. I miss it, used to live in Pacific Beach. Your emails over the last year have inspired me to make a lot of changes in my thinking.
Thank You and Happy Holidays
Dear Marc and Angel
Just “Thank You”. And a Beautiful Christmas to you and your family. I wish you many blessings as you have been a blessing to me and so many people! I hope and trust that you know that!
Joanna
wow, am humbled to be part of this Great inspiration. its been a year since i subscribed to Your daily emails and believe me I have never been the same Again. While going through these 18 Steps, i felt challenged, it seemed like you have been trailing me this whole time And reminder 18 has Set me going for 2018. thanks Mac and Angel. Happy holidays.
Birthdays always make me more contemplative, and so I found this on just the right day. I know I am definitely guilty of taking the comfortable way out, of doing the lazy thing because the world doesn’t end when I do. But when life moves on, closer and closer to the last day, I realise that whilst the world might not actually end, it’s not very exciting or interesting or fulfilling either. I’ve realised that there is no inherent meaning or purpose to life other than what we choose to give to it, and so it is up to me to decide, over and over, every day, what I want my life to mean, what I want to do with it, even if that changes from day to day. I just need to work on this tiredness thing so that I have the energy to keep moving forward, however small the steps.
I guess “want less and appreciate more” resonates with me the most right now. The challenge is that wanting less and appreciating more can feel like “settling for less” sometimes.
Don’t get me wrong, there are moments that life seems very beautiful, but often it looks like I have to downgrade my hopes or expectations in order to get to a space of gratitude.
For example, I have met this amazing person, who already has a very positive influence on my life. Due to circumstances it will most likely never go beyond friendship–which is already great. But after meeting this person, how could I ever “settle” for a relationship with anyone less amazing? Even though it doesn’t seem totally rational, the only way seems to be to convince myself I don’t deserve to be with someone that wonderful.
Mark, there are so many amazing people out there, not just one! You deserve the best, and if you convince yourself that you only deserve the best..the best will come. It may not be the one you wrote about, you may not be their best but you are someone’s. Stay positive and keep looking and keep knowing you are enough!
Hi, my husband of 20 committed suicide almost 6 yrs ago. We were happily married, sadly without children, and there were no drugs or alcohol in our lives. However he did have ongoing problems with depression. Since then I’ve received very little support from my mother and siblings. They were ok for the first 6 months, but after that they have added unsessasary stress on top of unimaginable pain and grief. Not one of them have bothered to educate themselves on suicide grief for the remaining spouse. Their collective bullying, lack of understanding ( forget sympathy empathy or compassion, that’s way beyond them ) attempts of manipulation and control has had me in hospital 3 times.
With the help of my therapist I have faced my biggest fear, and that is the fear of being alone. And I have overcome it.
I can now see my family for who they are, and my mother in particular. We never bonded when I was a baby, ( I was premature and in a incubator for 9 weeks, then she left me with her parents for another few? Weeks. They lived 1.5 hours drive away ) It’s obvious to me I’ve had abandonment issues throughout my whole life. I also believe my mother has never liked me. Pls read Peg Streep. I have always lacked self confidence and self esteem. This is a result if the mother constantly undermines or belittles their child, and / or withholds physical affection and / or is mentally and emotionally detached and dismissive. My mother was all of the above, and still is.
The first five years was a unbelievable horror roller coaster of emotions. I tried to drink myself to death for the first 3 years, the next 2 yrs were a bit better, and this year has been a revelation. I cut all contact with my Mother and 2 toxic sisters, stopped drinking totally and started to look after myself physically as I did before all of this happened.
I can now stand tall on my own and if I ever see my mother again, I can look her in the eye and tell her that I can see her for what she is.
Next year I shall start to see a clinical psychologist to help me with PTSD and shattered assumptions in the hope that I will be able to move on, have hope in life, and learn to trust again.
I feel I truly know myself these days, I understand my past reactions to life’s events have been dictated by my mother’s conditioning of me. I believe I am a better stronger person for the lessons life have given me.
Thanks for sharing your struggle, wow. So glad to hear you are doing better. Life is often not fair and for some it’s really off the charts unfair as you found out. Good to see that you are becoming a better and stronger person. It really hurts when family is not there during difficult times. Can’t understand that. I’ve heard that parents that lost children find support and understanding from others that have lost children as well. Perhaps talking with others who have lost a spouse to suicide would help you as well.
Take care and God bless you!!!
What a true and positive blog. All 18 I truly will work on from now on!
Thank you Soo much, when you read it in print it’s all there, the truth right up in our face!
Thank you for your insights Marc & Angel, and for being a regular part of what I share with my audience at Chuck’s Lemonade.
By now much of my audience should also be fans of your work…
I look forward to continuing my journey of growth and living…and I look forward to continuing to receive your inspiration along the way…Here’s to 2018!
Chuck
I am still growing and learning everyday. Last year I wanted to call my mother more often…to do the uncomfortable thing…to maybe make a better relationship. She had said that I should call her more and I had said that she could also call me more. I did. She didn’t.
This year, I realize I need to call her only when I feel emotionally stable enough to hear whatever it is she might say. In the midst of a decent conversation she always manages a comment the is cruel and unnecessary. Of course that’s the thing, the one thing I remember.
Thank you for your encouragement and suggestions. They are helpful, very helpful.
Love this. Your posts are always very inspirational. This is a great reminder going into the new year. The idea of getting out of your comfort zone/not having regrets later stuck with me from this post.
No. 14 is hard. I have two non-hurtful people in my life, that’s all. That leaves a very small social group for me with just two others. Other people are either hurtful or very distant, not really connecting with me. I try hard to make friends but each time I’m rejected, I retreat a bit more and a bit more until I don’t bother anymore.
Hi Marc & Angel
Wow, I love this website. My friend sent me a link to your article:-
Five Rules for turning Endings into New Beginnings. Having just recently walked away from the love of my life I find myself in a strange place, numb, heartbroken, angry, frightened. Life never ceases to amaze me, you just don’t see things coming! So thanks for creating this wonderful website, it gives me hope!
This article really resonates with me. All the points really hit home. Bottom line, it provides inspiration motivation, and encouragement for the New Year.
Thank you so much.
I like the piece about directly confronting the things that worry me. I often push them to the back of mind and worry about them when it becomes imminent.
Love what you represent and how you inspire, push, engage and pull no punches!! I read your work daily and incorporate anything that makes sense; every message is not just TIMELY, but just . . . in . . . time . . .
Keep doing this important work and continue to keep it HUMAN (not not socioeconomic-based, gender-based, not ethnicity-based, BUT HUMAN [there’s something here for all of us; whether we know it yet or not . . .])
As usual, M&A, your writing is simply amazing. I always feel so lifted every time I read your blog. This year I have stepped completely out of my comfort zone and I have to remind myself to keep going no matter. Sometimes its so hard because happiness and a peace of mind is very important to me. Thank you for this!!
Marc and Angel, I’m speechless. Whenever I am ready to drop the towel, I read one of your emails or posts, and I get back on track again. Thanks and happy new year.
Regardless of the ‘specifics’ of each of the 18 pointers, the overall message, each reminds us that we actually have a great amount of control over our immediate lives.
Nothing can be better than this. Following you gives so much inner strength each and every points seems like are related to me. May 2018 brings joy and happiness in everyone’s life.
Thank you and keep rocking your blog.
P says
Outstanding! It’s like you followed me around in 2017. I mean everything is on point! And I’m ordering book and trying to get tickets for SD. Nothing more right on the mark. Merrry Christmas and Haapy New Year I’m all in and most of all thank you I appreciate it.
Robbie says
Awesome 🙂
and merry xmas
W Taylor says
Great article. Lots of good points. I really needed to read this. Hopefully, following some of these will put my mind at ease.
E.rain says
Wonderful read as we approach the New Year! Thank you.
Samuel says
Marc and Angel do you talk to God directly? Very informative material WAOOOH!!!!! Am not getting tired of reading. I started reading some articles in the morning, and now it’s been many hours. May God abundantly give you more material to write. Its a talent. Thank you so so much
Naomi says
Thank you so much for this entire article: every point resonates with me but if I had to choose one it would be #17 Saying goodbye so you can say hello! I just ended a 15 year relationship and it is the most painful thing I think I ever had to do. Now I truly understand that that situation and that person was not good for my personal growth! Out with the old and in with the new!
Thank you both so much for this…. looking forward to a happy, healthy, prosperous new year!
Zeqe Gashi says
Great piece of writing, it pretty much explains me.
Need to work on a couple of the points highlighted especially “Say no when you need to.”
Medinat patience says
Awesome write up, I have started taking chances and creating my own happiness. From now on my watch word…. I love these words. Thanks and a happy blessed Christmas.
Atolagbe nimota says
You guys are so good! You emails and blog posts always make a difference. Thank you for inspiring me to take positive action in my life. Merry Christmas and Happy New year ahead.
Fiona says
Such a wonderful read for Christmas morning. Thank you for sharing this – definitely some important things to focus on for 2018 🙂
Perla Milner says
Again and again Thanking u for making a difference ? Wishing u a merry Christmas and a very healthy and peaceful new year….? missing San Diego in Feb but ? ti make it happen in attending your next one in Miami. My love and appreciation always! Perla
Peggy says
What a wonderful reminder to keep in mind when we are counting down the last few days of the year. The 18 uncomfortable things to start doing for yourself in the year ahead is a good guideline to reference when I get off track. After reading your article I did notice that I avoided many things because I talked myself out of doing it. No more! This is the year that I prove to myself that “I matter.” Thank you!
Have a wonderful Holiday!
Charles A McHugh says
I wish I could afford to go to San Diego. I miss it, used to live in Pacific Beach. Your emails over the last year have inspired me to make a lot of changes in my thinking.
Thank You and Happy Holidays
Joanna says
Dear Marc and Angel
Just “Thank You”. And a Beautiful Christmas to you and your family. I wish you many blessings as you have been a blessing to me and so many people! I hope and trust that you know that!
Joanna
Fortunate says
wow, am humbled to be part of this Great inspiration. its been a year since i subscribed to Your daily emails and believe me I have never been the same Again. While going through these 18 Steps, i felt challenged, it seemed like you have been trailing me this whole time And reminder 18 has Set me going for 2018. thanks Mac and Angel. Happy holidays.
onkar says
Thank you. Your message is outstanding!
Caroline Driver says
Birthdays always make me more contemplative, and so I found this on just the right day. I know I am definitely guilty of taking the comfortable way out, of doing the lazy thing because the world doesn’t end when I do. But when life moves on, closer and closer to the last day, I realise that whilst the world might not actually end, it’s not very exciting or interesting or fulfilling either. I’ve realised that there is no inherent meaning or purpose to life other than what we choose to give to it, and so it is up to me to decide, over and over, every day, what I want my life to mean, what I want to do with it, even if that changes from day to day. I just need to work on this tiredness thing so that I have the energy to keep moving forward, however small the steps.
Judy says
Wow!! An absolutely wonderful message.. Thank you so very much!
Jparrish
Mark says
Hi,
I guess “want less and appreciate more” resonates with me the most right now. The challenge is that wanting less and appreciating more can feel like “settling for less” sometimes.
Don’t get me wrong, there are moments that life seems very beautiful, but often it looks like I have to downgrade my hopes or expectations in order to get to a space of gratitude.
For example, I have met this amazing person, who already has a very positive influence on my life. Due to circumstances it will most likely never go beyond friendship–which is already great. But after meeting this person, how could I ever “settle” for a relationship with anyone less amazing? Even though it doesn’t seem totally rational, the only way seems to be to convince myself I don’t deserve to be with someone that wonderful.
Thanks for letting me rant.
Ann says
Mark, there are so many amazing people out there, not just one! You deserve the best, and if you convince yourself that you only deserve the best..the best will come. It may not be the one you wrote about, you may not be their best but you are someone’s. Stay positive and keep looking and keep knowing you are enough!
Stephanie says
Hi, my husband of 20 committed suicide almost 6 yrs ago. We were happily married, sadly without children, and there were no drugs or alcohol in our lives. However he did have ongoing problems with depression. Since then I’ve received very little support from my mother and siblings. They were ok for the first 6 months, but after that they have added unsessasary stress on top of unimaginable pain and grief. Not one of them have bothered to educate themselves on suicide grief for the remaining spouse. Their collective bullying, lack of understanding ( forget sympathy empathy or compassion, that’s way beyond them ) attempts of manipulation and control has had me in hospital 3 times.
With the help of my therapist I have faced my biggest fear, and that is the fear of being alone. And I have overcome it.
I can now see my family for who they are, and my mother in particular. We never bonded when I was a baby, ( I was premature and in a incubator for 9 weeks, then she left me with her parents for another few? Weeks. They lived 1.5 hours drive away ) It’s obvious to me I’ve had abandonment issues throughout my whole life. I also believe my mother has never liked me. Pls read Peg Streep. I have always lacked self confidence and self esteem. This is a result if the mother constantly undermines or belittles their child, and / or withholds physical affection and / or is mentally and emotionally detached and dismissive. My mother was all of the above, and still is.
The first five years was a unbelievable horror roller coaster of emotions. I tried to drink myself to death for the first 3 years, the next 2 yrs were a bit better, and this year has been a revelation. I cut all contact with my Mother and 2 toxic sisters, stopped drinking totally and started to look after myself physically as I did before all of this happened.
I can now stand tall on my own and if I ever see my mother again, I can look her in the eye and tell her that I can see her for what she is.
Next year I shall start to see a clinical psychologist to help me with PTSD and shattered assumptions in the hope that I will be able to move on, have hope in life, and learn to trust again.
I feel I truly know myself these days, I understand my past reactions to life’s events have been dictated by my mother’s conditioning of me. I believe I am a better stronger person for the lessons life have given me.
brian Bodnar says
Stephanie
Thanks for sharing your struggle, wow. So glad to hear you are doing better. Life is often not fair and for some it’s really off the charts unfair as you found out. Good to see that you are becoming a better and stronger person. It really hurts when family is not there during difficult times. Can’t understand that. I’ve heard that parents that lost children find support and understanding from others that have lost children as well. Perhaps talking with others who have lost a spouse to suicide would help you as well.
Take care and God bless you!!!
Melody says
What a true and positive blog. All 18 I truly will work on from now on!
Thank you Soo much, when you read it in print it’s all there, the truth right up in our face!
Thank You for cleansing our souls.
Ellen says
You appear in my inbox when I need you most. You’re my guardian angels. Thank you is not enough.
Chuck says
Thank you for your insights Marc & Angel, and for being a regular part of what I share with my audience at Chuck’s Lemonade.
By now much of my audience should also be fans of your work…
I look forward to continuing my journey of growth and living…and I look forward to continuing to receive your inspiration along the way…Here’s to 2018!
Chuck
Ruby says
Thank you so much, Timing is perfect. I really need it.
Marie Hughey says
I am still growing and learning everyday. Last year I wanted to call my mother more often…to do the uncomfortable thing…to maybe make a better relationship. She had said that I should call her more and I had said that she could also call me more. I did. She didn’t.
This year, I realize I need to call her only when I feel emotionally stable enough to hear whatever it is she might say. In the midst of a decent conversation she always manages a comment the is cruel and unnecessary. Of course that’s the thing, the one thing I remember.
Thank you for your encouragement and suggestions. They are helpful, very helpful.
Laura says
Love this. Your posts are always very inspirational. This is a great reminder going into the new year. The idea of getting out of your comfort zone/not having regrets later stuck with me from this post.
Thanks! 🙂
Sibongiseni says
Point 16 and 12, they just hit me in the head
Catherine says
No. 14 is hard. I have two non-hurtful people in my life, that’s all. That leaves a very small social group for me with just two others. Other people are either hurtful or very distant, not really connecting with me. I try hard to make friends but each time I’m rejected, I retreat a bit more and a bit more until I don’t bother anymore.
Miriam says
I love #3. My theme for 2018 is “diligence” and your blog post confirmed it for me. Thank you.
Emma says
Hi Marc & Angel
Wow, I love this website. My friend sent me a link to your article:-
Five Rules for turning Endings into New Beginnings. Having just recently walked away from the love of my life I find myself in a strange place, numb, heartbroken, angry, frightened. Life never ceases to amaze me, you just don’t see things coming! So thanks for creating this wonderful website, it gives me hope!
KM says
This article really resonates with me. All the points really hit home. Bottom line, it provides inspiration motivation, and encouragement for the New Year.
Thank you so much.
Arnetta Jones says
I like the piece about directly confronting the things that worry me. I often push them to the back of mind and worry about them when it becomes imminent.
Dora says
Love what you represent and how you inspire, push, engage and pull no punches!! I read your work daily and incorporate anything that makes sense; every message is not just TIMELY, but just . . . in . . . time . . .
Keep doing this important work and continue to keep it HUMAN (not not socioeconomic-based, gender-based, not ethnicity-based, BUT HUMAN [there’s something here for all of us; whether we know it yet or not . . .])
Priviledge veremu says
This post came to me via email at a time when I was about to agree to something deep down i knew I didn’t want to do. Thank you!
Pam says
Choose the challenge! Just a different way to say choose the discomfort 🙂
Lynndrell washington says
As usual, M&A, your writing is simply amazing. I always feel so lifted every time I read your blog. This year I have stepped completely out of my comfort zone and I have to remind myself to keep going no matter. Sometimes its so hard because happiness and a peace of mind is very important to me. Thank you for this!!
George says
Marc and Angel, I’m speechless. Whenever I am ready to drop the towel, I read one of your emails or posts, and I get back on track again. Thanks and happy new year.
Malek says
Thank you for your wonderful inspiring messages.
Wish you a very happy new year.
Abate says
Thanks.
Elizabeth Griffiths says
Really helpful post; thank you so much. The lure of the comfort zone has definitely been my downfall….
Terry Michaels says
Regardless of the ‘specifics’ of each of the 18 pointers, the overall message, each reminds us that we actually have a great amount of control over our immediate lives.
Sheen says
Nothing can be better than this. Following you gives so much inner strength each and every points seems like are related to me. May 2018 brings joy and happiness in everyone’s life.
Thank you and keep rocking your blog.