The biggest and most complex obstacle you will ever have to overcome is your own mind. Overcome that, and you can overcome anything!
Of course, that’s way easier to say than to do, especially when life as you know it starts falling apart…
Just over a decade ago, Marc and I had to deal with several painful life changes. These included:
- Losing my brother to suicide
- Losing a mutual best friend to death
- Financial unrest following a breadwinning employment layoff
- Breaking ties with a loved one who repeatedly betrayed us
It all happened so quickly, too! The pain of those experiences compounded on one another in quick succession, knocking us down and driving the wind right out of our sails for a couple years straight. At times, we felt like we had absolutely no strength left to push onward.
But, as we navigated our new reality one step at a time—facing the pain instead of distracting ourselves from it—we stumbled across morsels of strength and wisdom that we began to collect and build on. We gradually learned how to catch ourselves in negative states of emotional turmoil, so we could overcome the emotions that had once overcome us. All details aside, we pushed ourselves as hard as we could to take one tiny step every day—one journal entry, one 10-minute workout, one honest conversation, and so forth. It wasn’t easy, but the tiny steps were manageable and we gradually grew stronger.
And with each passing day, we saw more beauty hidden in life’s most painful changes.
You see, the most painful changes in life—even deaths—are simply endings, which are all a necessary part of living. And all endings are necessary for beauty, too—otherwise it’s impossible to appreciate someone or something, because they are unlimited. Limits illuminate beauty—they are reminders that we need to be aware of this beautiful person or situation, and appreciate this beautiful thing called life. Every ending is also a beginning, because while we have lost someone or something special, this ending, like every loss, is a moment of reinvention. Although heartbreaking, it forces us to reinvent our lives, and in this reinvention is an opportunity to experience beauty in new, unseen ways and places. And, of course, every ending is an opportunity to celebrate the beautiful, ever-changing journey we’re on, and to be grateful for what it has showed us and taught us along the way.
Getting to this point of understanding—changing your perspective—again, is far from easy. But it’s honestly worth every bit of effort you can muster, no matter how many times you need to remind yourself.
We all need a reminder sometimes…
Because we so easily forget how important it is to face the unexpected losses and painful life changes we’re going to encounter no matter how much we try to avoid them—to face down our pain and negative thinking and leverage it to get back up and take the next step. Yes, we need to be reminded to actually get up and DO the hard things we need to do to be happy again. The things that frighten us. The things others can’t do for us. The things that make the difference between existing and living—between knowing the path and walking the path—between a life of empty promises and defeat and one filled with renewed happiness, possibility and peace.
And that’s why Marc and I wrote our brand new book, Getting Back to Happy: Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Reality, and Turn Your Trials into Triumphs, to be that daily reminder for anyone who’s struggling to change their situation for the better. It’s a dynamic and actionable guide for taking life day by day and focusing on the little things that make a lasting difference. This book represents the culmination of hundreds of hours of work with course students, live event attendees, and lots of one-on-one work with each other, too…
And, here’s why Alyssa Milano happily wrote the foreword…
“With the help of Marc and Angel’s hard-won insights, we can always find a way to pick ourselves up, reframe our mindset to see the bigger picture, and take that first step back to happy.” —Alyssa Milano
Yes, that’s a quick snippet of what Alyssa Milano had to say in the foreword to Getting Back to Happy.
But, why did a famous, renowned actress and activist like her decide to write this foreword for a couple of coaches and authors like us?
Perhaps another slightly longer snippet from her foreword will clarify things:
“In my own journey to uncover who I truly am, and to find—and use—my voice for what I believe in, I’ve been lucky enough to meet many kindred spirits along the way, many of them online. Marc and Angel are among the fellow travelers I’ve come to value the most. Their honesty and clarity, and the generous way they share what they’ve learned for themselves, are gifts I’ve truly cherished. Sharing their ideas with others online is a way of paying forward what I’ve learned, in the hope that others will gain some insight and strength, and in turn spread the word even further. The pain of self-doubt and the isolation of modern life can make us feel like we’re the only ones struggling, while everyone else is picture-perfect. That’s why it’s so important to share not just our triumphs but also our setbacks, to “show our work” when we’re in the thick of tough times. Marc and Angel do just that—keeping it real, and creating a community of kindred spirits that gathers together in strength, growing and learning along the way.” —Alyssa Milano
In life our insights are often hard won, as Alyssa points out. And, ten years ago, when Marc and I were desperately struggling after losing two loved ones back-to-back to suicide and illness, we decided to be transparent about our story, our struggles, and our depression. And we also decided to share the tiny daily steps we were taking to cope, to heal, to grow, and ultimately to get our lives back on track. We shared all of this online via Facebook, Twitter, email, and our blog, and Alyssa was one of the people who resonated with our story and followed our journey right from the get-go… because she found personal value in what we were sharing.
And then, she continued to follow our work over the years that followed, primarily because we didn’t stop sharing what we were learning.
As Marc and I have learned—and as you’ve probably encountered too—there’s little doubt that our most important insights come directly from our hardest challenges. But we can also take these insights and pay them forward, sharing them with others in hopes that our insights might shine a light for other people who are struggling down their own paths.
The opportunity to pay forward what we’ve learned inspires us continuously in our work, whether it’s through our blog, our renowned Getting Back to Happy course and coaching, our annual Think Better Live Better conference, our books, and everything else we do. And, it’s also one of the biggest reasons we wrote our newest book, also titled Getting Back to Happy, as you know. Everything we’ve learned in the past decade of coaching and teaching others about how to build a happier life is distilled into this book.
Never before have we put it all in one place like this in such an accessible way.
In fact, here’s a sneak peek of the table of contents, so you can get an idea of what Getting Back to Happy has to offer:
- Rituals: Practice Daily What You Want To Manifest Regularly
- Mindfulness: Ease Out of Busyness and Into Awareness
- Letting Go: Surrender Attachments that Are Holding You Back
- Self-Love: Commit to Putting Yourself on Your To-Do List
- Mornings & Evenings: Establish Control with a Thoughtful Beginning and End to Every Day
- Perspective: Find Beauty in Life’s Difficulties
- Situation: Embrace Change and Take Action When Necessary
- Motivation: Harness Your Inner Drive and Keep Moving Forward
- Relationships: Foster the Loving Connections You Deserve
- Happiness: Nurture an Inner and Outer Environment that Fulfills You
When we reached out to Alyssa and shared the idea and outline of the book with her, she immediately said “yes” to writing the foreword. Specifically, she said she was “honored to be given the chance to continue paying it forward.”
We’re sincerely excited…
Getting Back to Happy is honestly the book we’ve wanted to write ever since we started on this journey, one that began with our personal struggle and evolved into a multifaceted coaching practice that has positively impacted the lives of thousands of amazing people, just like Alyssa.
I sincerely wish I could have read it a decade ago. In many ways, it would have saved me from myself. It absolutely would have saved me from intense periods of darkness that were born primarily from my subconscious attempt to take the easy way out of the painful realities I faced.
So yes, this is a big deal, and we’re excited to share Getting Back to Happy with YOU (which will be officially released this Tuesday). In fact, we’re so excited that we’re also giving away over $50 in bonuses to the first 2,000 blog readers that pre-order the book (including One Day at a Time, our 60-day workbook for implementing rewarding, lifelong rituals, and Daily Reminders We Need to Read Every Morning, with prompts that guide you to start each day in a mindful state, so you can focus and get the right things done). You’ll want to act quickly, though, because we already have 1,907 pre-orders booked as of this morning. 🙂
Also, if you haven’t done so already, check out this 2-minute video (the official book trailer):
Above all, what you need to remember is that it’s ultimately your choice…
Yes, it’s your choice.
YOUR choice.
You are choosing right now.
And if you’re choosing…
to complain…
to blame…
to be stuck in the past…
to act like a victim…
to feel insecure…
to feel anger…
to feel hate…
to be naïve…
to ignore your intuition…
to ignore good advice…
to give up…
…then it’s time to choose differently.
But, let me also remind you that you are not alone. Generations of human beings in your family tree have chosen. Human beings around the world have chosen. We all have chosen at one time or another. And we stand behind you now whispering:
Choose to let go.
Choose to be present.
Choose to be positive.
Choose to forgive yourself.
Choose to forgive others.
Choose to see your value.
Choose to see the possibilities.
Choose to find meaning.
Choose to prove you’re not a victim.
And of course, if there’s anything else Marc and I can do to assist you, please don’t hesitate to leave a reply below.
PS. Pre-ordering the new book on or before the official release on Tuesday helps us out tremendously. We’d greatly appreciate YOUR SUPPORT today.
PPS. I’m also excited (and pretty darn nervous) to announce that Marc and I will be on NBC’s Megyn Kelly TODAY show Monday, May 21 to support Getting Back to Happy’s release. Tune in if you’re able…
Andrew Sussin says
Just ordered it. Keep up the amazing work the two of you are doing! Love that video trailer too. Inspiring!
MelRo Potter says
You and Marc’s work helped to change my life! I can’t wait to get this book and host a book club around it! 🙂
Megan says
Congrats and good luck with the big media coverage. You will be great because you are both authentic! Just ordered the book on Amazon too. 🙂
Bethany says
That’s incredible! You 2 so deserve the spotlight to showcase all the wonderful love, encouragement, & support you give to those truly in need. So happy for you guys! I already pre-ordered the book a few days ago, and I’ll be tuning in to Megyn Kelly. Not a huge fan of her, but a huge fan of you… and that’s what matters this time around. 🙂
Joseph says
great! looking forward to the new book!
Sandee says
Congrats on getting the book out this is a huge achievement. Yes
sharing is of huge value, openness the same and the saying that we are all
one is so touted around the place without any thought, the Royal wedding
certainly showed that it is time to change our mindsets, and how
misconstrued and misunderstood the original message has been over the
years of so called evolution – now is the time for real in depth change.
In my book the only real teacher is experience, those who feel it know
it, and learn from it, no other way appears to get trough the hard heads
or ego of man !!!!!
I sincerely wish for you that the sales go well and bring in the needed
income so you can continue the good work you both do and have done over
the years
Peace, love, blessings and hugs to you both.
JENNIFER SCOTT says
Just bought the Audiobook to listen on my ride to/from work. Looking forward to it! Please keep us updated with any live appearances you have.
Vicky says
Congratulations! Preordered, when can I expect my book ?
Gaye Sekula says
Excellent article!
Pat Johnson says
Marc and Angel are my go to people for encouragement, inspiration, hope, and joy for the future. You are awesome. I am trying to order the new book but having a little trouble but I will get it ordered. You are the best. Thank you from my heart!!!!! Pat
Mickey says
I confess, I’m a lurker. And I’ve been a lurker for years.
I also confess I have been following you on and off all this time. I come back to Marc and Angel when I feel like I need tools to be my best self. I take notes. I analyze. I pull out quotes. I put stuff into practice. It’s just a little bit of fine-tuning and we all need that in our lives, no matter how good we feel.
Thank you, Marc and Angel (and the community of people who pop up in the comments), for being a reliable place where I know I can get all those tools, a reassuring silent guide, a gentle nudge when I need it the most.
Teri says
I just saw you two on Megyn Kelly, and your message resonated with me and the direction my life has been going, how I have been feeling…..insecure, isolated , lonely….even with people who say they love and care about me around. This has all come after multiple difficult losses and heart wrenching sadness….and all after years of amazing joy and happiness. Hoping your insights can open the door to joy and some contentment again…
Kelly Crawford says
Excited to see you both on Megan today! So very happy to see you both endure success. I pre-ordered your book and received notification I get it tomorrow. Cannot wait! I start my day with your blog and it truly is inspiring. Thank you for sharing your story , and more importantly your positive realistic attitude to surviving life’s challenges.
Rosalie says
Thank you, Marc and Angel for the reminder to think better about myself. Before reading your emails, my self talk was horrible. It’s actually no wonder why I burned out after 10 years of teaching. When I developed multiple sclerosis shortly thereafter, my nervous breakdown/mental breakdown totally made sense. In essence, I needed to break down to rise from the ashes like a Phoenix. With daily habits, a beginning routine in the morning of thinking that it is going to be a beautiful day, and an ending to the day with a meditation, thinking that I did the best I could was something I needed to teach myself about my greatness. True, multiple sclerosis has made it so I can’t walk, can’t use my hands (I’m writing this using voice activated software) and my vision is so poor that I use a huge flatscreen TV for a computer monitor and I wear glasses with a prism added to them so I do not see in double vision, but I have been noticing my life changing for the better. Like you, several bad experiences, happening one after the other, needed to happen for me to know my strengths. My husband and I lost our home, we lost three rental homes, and I developed an autoimmune disease that stole my independence. I needed to learn to rely on others in order to feed myself, dress myself, and bathe myself, and I needed to learn that I had the strength to survive. I have a seriously aggressive form of MS, a form that has taken me from being diagnosed in 2005 to being completely dependent on others in 2018, but in all this horrible nonsense I have learned that there are some wonderful people, beautiful people. Hearing about Alyssa Milano’s forward to your book is yet another validation of your awesomeness. 🙂
Rosalie
Marianne says
I never got the opportunity to meet my niece’s husband Josh and am not really a fan of motivational speakers or writers, but your segment today on Megyn Kelly has given me the impetus that perhaps your book will give me a different outlook on my life, even at my age. Just had my niece order it for me. Congratulations to both of you!
John McIntyre says
Marc/Angel.
Thanks for upbeat emails, they’ve been keeping me going. I’ve ordered the and can’t wait for it to arrive. Although I don’t know how quick the post is like from the US to the UK. Keep up the good work. You’re both stalwarts.
John
Patty says
Hi
You guys did a great job on TV this morning! Congrats on the new book. I just ordered it and am looking forward to making it a summer read. All the best.
Ajay J says
Hi Guys!
It’s my first time here and what an awesome article to begin with.
The mind can truly be our biggest barrier when progressing towards the things we want.
Although it’s easier said than done, we must try our best to choose the thoughts that empower us during life’s most difficult challenges. To envision new possibilities and keep moving forward – One step at a time.
Also, Congratulations on the new book!
Ajay J
Katrien says
Hi from Belgium,
I already ordered the book and I can’t wait to receive it!! You were both great on TV! Thank you for being who you are, sharing your knowledge and experiences! You both are a great inspiration for me! Thanks for coaching me into who I am today: happy, proud of myself, happy for what life has given me, putting the hardships behind me and seeing them as lessons I could and have learned from, courageous enough to have started my own business,…
Thank you and a big hug!
Katrien
CindyL says
Congrats to you! I’ve been following your newsletters and your blog for a long time, always finding them uplifting and inspiring. I’ve quoted your wisdom on my own blog many times, and I’m enjoying your wonderful new book. Will be reviewing it soon – and thanks for all you give to the world!
NANETTE MIRANDA says
My books arrived can’t wait to start reading Thank You so much Marc and Angel lots of love from Johannesburg South Africa
NANETTE