“It doesn’t interest me
what you do for a living.
I want to know
what you ache for
and if you dare to dream
of meeting your heart’s longing.”—The Invitation by Oriah
I want to know what your story is…
7 Billion Stories in the World
I don’t care what you do or what you own. I just want to know who you are. I want to know your uniqueness, the experiences you’ve had and the lessons you’ve learned. I want to know your story.
What is your story? Everyone has one. And no two stories are exactly the same.
There are over seven billion people in this world and none are like you. You are unique. Your entire life journey including your upbringing, challenges, your hard learned lessons, your experiences, achievements and gifts, are all a series of footprints that have brought you to this very moment in time as you read these words.
Every person you walk or drive past on the street has their own story. Every person in front of you in line at the grocery store has their own story. Every friend and work colleague in your life has their own story.
The old man who lives alone up the street from me and wanders past my house each day, he has his own story. The girl on the train sitting opposite me right now who has small tears welling up in her eyes, she has her own story. The boy in the library who never stops laughing, even when his mother constantly asks him to be quiet, he has his own story too.
Think about the millions of moments, the series of events that leads each person to cross your path. Who are they really underneath that exterior? Where did they come from? What do they long for? What makes them tick?
Will you ask?
Life is a tapestry of people weaving in and out of your life. These people come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Every one of them has something to offer and share with you. Imagine treating every person you encounter, no matter how fleeting, as an intriguing story waiting to be told. But the story can only be told if someone asks to hear it. Will you ask? That person you see standing before you, no matter who they are, young or old, rich or poor, rude or kind, is like a blockbuster movie ready to enthrall you. But, first you have to buy a ticket.
Small Talk at Cocktail Parties
As I stood in a room full of people at a cocktail party once, I realized that every opening conversation was dominated by this question, “What do you do?”
We seek to understand and define people by their doing in the world. Yes, literally, and for some reason, we default to categorizing and ranking the entire worth of the people we meet based on what they “do.” And I think that seriously dehumanizes us!
Does what you do matter more than who you are? Absolutely not! What you do is only a small fraction of who you are as a human being.
Do we care about each other enough, and are we interested enough in what we can learn from each other, to stop asking “What do you do?” and start asking “Who are you? What is your story?”
So, I’d love to ask you something, and I’m not asking a rhetorical question. I really want to know…
What is your story?
- Where were you born?
- Where do you live now?
- What is the most important life lesson you’ve learned thus far?
- What makes you smile on an average day?
- What is your deepest and most persistent fear?
- What is your greatest dream for your life?
- Who are you?
Normalizing the Question
There’s only one way to normalize this “What is your story?” question in our society. And that’s by starting to ask it, and by each of us individually being willing to answer it wholeheartedly, knowing that the person asking genuinely wants to know.
Superficial chit chat about what we “do” and what we “own” doesn’t have to dominate our interactions with those closest to us or with complete strangers.
I probably don’t know you at all. You’re a complete stranger to me. But I genuinely want to know your answers.
I’ll go first…
Here’s my story . I invite you to respond with your answers, supporting a movement to normalize caring more about who people are, than what they do and own.
- I was born in Miami, Florida.
- After traveling all over the world (Japan, Australia, etc.) and living all around the country (San Diego, Austin, etc.) alongside my wife, Angel, we decided to settle down in Jupiter, Florida to raise our son reasonably close to his grandparents and our extended family.
- Early on in our marriage (well over a decade ago), Angel and I were knocked down hard and stuck in a rut after simultaneously losing two loved ones to suicide and illness. These losses, along with the grief we felt, impacted both our marriage and our individual emotional wellness for a long time. This tragic season of our lives taught us so much, but the most important lesson we learned—which is perhaps the most important lesson of our lives thus far—is that we as human beings are capable of healing and growing stronger through life’s most painful changes. (Note: Our journey through this season of our lives is discussed in detail in our New York Times bestselling book.)
- My son, Mac, playing loudly with his toys and laughing his little heart out is what makes me smile the most, even after I’ve had a long day.
- One of my deepest and most persistent fears (which is actually somewhat common among the people I’ve coached over the years) is the fear of taking risks to follow a dream and then failing miserably in the process. In other words, failure, which I intellectually know is good for my personal growth, still gives me plenty of anxiety.
- My greatest dream is to move gracefully forward each day with an open and present mindset, alongside people I love and respect, listening, learning, exploring, questioning and discovering as much about the human condition and life as I can. And continuing to write books, email newsletters and blog posts to share my lessons learned with YOU.
- I’m a little spark of divinity, out here having a life experience, as I believe we all are.
Your turn…
Please leave a comment below with your answers—tell me something true about YOU.
What is YOUR story?
And finally, if you haven’t done so already, be sure to sign-up for our free newsletter to receive new articles like this in your inbox each week.
Amy says
Thank you for emailing me this article! And here we go…
Where were you born?
– I was born in Sayre, Pennsylvania and raised in Bentley Creek, Pennsylvania.
Where do you live now?
– I now live in Papillion, Nebraska just south of Omaha though we are currently spending the summer in Timisoara, Romania.
What is the most important life lesson you’ve learned so far?
– That we are ignorant. No matter how much we know and how much we learn there is so much that we cannot even begin to understand it all, but that does not mean we should not try.
What makes you smile?
-Hearing the laughter of my loved ones- especially my husband and boys, and my brother who I rarely see and who is normally so quiet; mountains- they make my heart so light; and water, especially oceans & lakes- they calm my soul.
What is your deepest fear?
-That I will fail my children or disappoint my husband. That I will not succeed in teaching my boys to be strong, caring, giving people. That I will fail to be the best person I can be and, in so doing, not be the best wife, mother, and friend I can be.
What is your greatest dream for life?
-To travel the world making a positive difference, whether it be through sharing experiences, knowledge, skills, or just a smile and happiness.
Who are you?
-A strong, independent, giving woman; a loving, adoring and incredibly lucky wife; a proud, nurturing mother; a daughter, friend, neighbor, co-worker and so much more.
Bean says
I was born in Oldham, England and I lived there until the age of 10, after which I moved to New Zealand with my family. I now live in rural Auckland, I don’t like the city much. The most important life lesson I have learned is that no matter how much you think you know, what you know is only an opinion held by you. Creating art and having people genuinely enjoy my creations makes me smile. My deepest fear is that depression will eventually get the best of me and leave me broken or dead. My greatest dream is to find a way to support myself without working jobs I hate with people I despise. I want to be happy in my life and work, not miserable making others rich. I am another face on the street whom is lost in the world, searching for answers and trying to bring as much joy and love as I can into the lives of those I care for.
Elka says
Hi Bean, just wanted to reach out and say hello. I share some of your sentiments. Wishing you a lovely day.
Mario D'Agostino says
So am I.
Vinicius says
So am I. I haven´t found what I like doing in this world. I have a great life, house, car, boat, many things I don´t use and don´t need, but I am not happy with my life. I try to be grateful, to have a positive attitude, but I just can´t find the life I would like to live.
Laurie says
I was born and grew up in rural Missouri, and I currently live in the sunshine state of Florida just like Marc and Angel. My children, my family, and a beautiful day make me smile. The life lesson I am learning right now is that people are not necessarily who they say they are; rather, people reveal themselves to you over time through their actions and intentions. Realizing that there is an entity larger than myself in control of the universe makes me smile; to realize that I am truly not responsible for everything and everyone. My fear is that I will not give my children the tools that they need to be successful and fulfilled in their lives, and that something awful could possibly happen to them. my dream is to live to a ripe old age, enjoy my children, grandchildren, and their families, and to maintain my health so that I can be there for them as they grow to support them as life brings on new adventures and reveals themselves to them. I would like to have the means to travel and enjoy God’s gift of a beautiful world. I am a humble single mother of three who has seen her children experience more pain and sorrow than most grown adults can handle. I am persistent, tough, caring, and at times I can be obnoxious and pushy, but always loyal. I strive to remain grateful in every action I take and although the road is rough now, I know that things soon will change for the better. I appreciate reading everyone else’s stories and comments. Thank you so much for sharing. We all have so much more in common than we sometimes realize.
Augustus J. says
I was born in a small town in upstate NY, to a woman who had lost five children. She would later lose two more. I grew up in abject poverty. Over time, after learning to not be angry at everyone else and internalizing this anger, I learned to be compassionate and caring. I was bullied as a child and learned to help the weak. I am smart, strong, and try to be humble. I will let others lead yet take the lead when needed. I keep to myself and try to take care of my planet. I garden, ride a bike, and live simply. That is what I am and it has taken me more than fifty years to get to this point. I am looking forward to many more to come.
Vanessa says
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Papun says
Your story inspires me too. God Bless.
Tianna says
So appreciate reading everyone’s responses……
Where were you born? Lawrence, Kansas
Where do you live now? Alameda, California
What is the most important life lesson you’ve learned so far? Money can bring dis-ease, simplicity enriches and nourishment comes from all aspects of our being.
What makes you smile? Right now, it’s watching the birds and squirrels play outside our windows. And sunrise…that time of day when the world is quiet.
What is your deepest fear? I know that death is our final outcome. I know that nothing is permanent, but I fear the reaction that my body and soul will have when the finale appears and I lose those most dearest to me.
What is your greatest dream for your life? To travel and see the sights of the world, to explore different cultures & ways of life. To see that we are not so different.
Who are you? I am a seeker, a life-long learner and my voice matters.
Chand Kapur says
Love each and every word in your post. I shall surely try to shared my story soon. Thanks Marc and Angel for all your supportive posts………
Damjana says
I was born in Ljubljana, Slovenia.
I now live in Nova Gorica, 100 km away from Ljubljana. I lived in Ljubljana last 10 years. Then last year I moved as I got married.
Life lesson: don’t procrastinate. If you do small steps, no matter how small, you achieve A LOT in a longer period of time. And the daily effort is small.
I smile when I’m with people where I feel accepted and who are kind, warm persons. I smile when I hear a funny joke or when I listen to the radio and the conversation is interesting.
My biggest fear is coping with people, if I can be accepted, I fear failure and being laughed at. I fear making phone calls, going to a shop, discovering new towns, being with unknown people.
My biggest dream is to have friends and people who accept me.
I’m a very capable woman whose potentials are waiting to come to fruition.
Loving the question. I remember one person who first told me his story and then asked me about mine. Oh, it was such a good feeling. I had the feeling he cared.
Jen says
Where were you born?
I was born in Manchester, England.
Where do you live now?
After living in North Wales for a few years in my early twenties I moved back home to Sale, in Manchester.
What is the most important life lesson you’ve learned thus far?
To know that nothing lasts forever and to appreciate life a little more. After losing 2 family members in a close space of time, it taught me how quickly life can change from losing people. Looking back now I have tried to change my mind-set into a positive one. How wonderful it was to have so many years with someone I loved more than anything in the world .. how lucky I was? Whether a person comes into my life for a couple of weeks, or a lifetime I am thankful and more importantly I accept that when they leave, that was all the time meant for us.
What makes you smile on an average day?
My friends and family. Seeing them happy makes me smile. Or my beautiful cat, she’s been there for me through more than most people have. A constant in my life.
What is your deepest and most persistent fear?
That I won’t have people around me who I love and who love me. Hopefully there will be one person I can count on later on in life.
What is your greatest dream for your life?
To really help people and make a difference. Having a family of my own and the unconditional love that comes with having children. To continue the pursuit of happiness and to try my best to make other people happy in my journey!
Who are you?
An independent, strong person with a big heart. Who will always put someone before herself. Who knows her worth, and expects the same respect she gives other people. A girl who won’t settle and isn’t afraid of walking away when she isn’t being treated as she deserves to be.
Elka, Author of Kitty Kat Wants Stripes says
Thank you Marc and Angel for this post.
After reading others’ responses I can’t help but realize that we all share so much in common. Our daily lives are different, but at the soul level we all crave the same things. It gives me comfort knowing that the things that I require are not far from what everyone desires-Basic human needs. So don’t judge, don’t compare, be kind, love yourself, practice compassion with yourself and others. We’re all just doing the best we can.
I wish everyone peace & love. Thank you for sharing.
Els says
So beautiful reading all this….. Grateful!
I was born in a small town in Belgium, now living in Seville, south of Spain.
Through many experiences (sad and sometimes hard) I have learned that happiness depends only on ourselves and daily little joys are what makes it all worthwhile.
Being a mom makes me smile; I am the lucky mother of an amazing young boy. Also nature and seeing others smile.
It scares me not knowing how to raise my boy to be a healthy, stable and good person. I just try all my best. And wish him an awesome journey.
I dream of a simple life, more comprehension, true interest and less materialism.
I am still standing, sweet and a daydreamer.
Susie says
I’ve learned that nothing is more important than feeling good. And it affects everyone around me in a positive way too.
Allan F. Wier II says
I was born on the West Side of Grand Rapids, Michigan, 65 years ago, 1st of a family of 7 children. I studied foreign languages in college, German, French, Russian & Italian. I worked in various furniture factories, as a reading assistant at a couple of parochial schools & in libraries to support myself while in college. I went to Austria, spent 5 happy years there, 3 of them as an exchange assistant at Austrian secondary schools (Fulbright exchange) teaching American English and American Studies. Upon returning home to Michigan, I resumed college, did student teaching, all the while working in a 24/7 pool hall 3rd shift (my 2nd favorite job). I began translating for a living in 1989, fell in love, married a woman in Michian area & moved to Elkhart, Indiana. We have 4 children. 2 years ago we moved back to Michigan after 22 years in Indiana (Niles). Lots of things make me smile, probably what makes me smile the most are my children, my 13-year old and 9-year old daughters are very good at bringing a smile to my face. Unfortunately, for a good portion of my life fear has prevented me from “trying things”, fear of failure, fear of the outcome not being perfect etc. My niece described her “perfectionism” on Facebook a number of years ago and it helped me see myself, for the first time, as a perfectionist. I am doing my best to eliminate fear from my thinking, decision making etc., but it still lurks in the background.
My dreams are writing books, playing better pool & billiards & being the best possible husband, father & human being I can be. Namasté!
Lanette D Sweeney says
I was born in Queens, NY and then lived all around the country with my restless mother, settling in the Hudson Valley in NY to raise my own family. I’ve lived in Western Mass the past decade. I am in the midst of learning my most important lesson, as I endure the grief of my brilliant 26-year-old son’s fatal overdose two years ago. The lesson is that love — as a verb– is all that matters. My pets’ antics and the uncontrollable laughter of those I love makes me smile. My greatest fear has already happened; my son died, so now I am fearless. I dream of being present and focused with each person I encounter every day and especially with those I love — and of publishing a book of my poetry. I am a fierce femme and grieving mother here to help everyone be grateful in this moment.
Cathy M Ross says
I am so terribly sorry for your loss. I hope God embraces you and you can see through your pain, to the wonderful years you had with him. Blessings and peace to you.
Christine says
1. Where were you born?
= I was born and raised in Indonesia, North Sumatra.
2. Where do you live now ?
= I’m currently Living in Taiwan, Kaohsiung city
3. What is the most important life lesson you’ve learned this far?
= That people are not responsible for my life and life owes me nothing. That I should start taking Intentional decisions to make my life better. That mistakes are okay because we need experience to know better so that we can do better.
4. What makes you smile on average day?
= memes :> . Okay, I’ll be serious, when I see my classmates bonding and communicating well, I feel genuinely happy. Because, we are students of different countries, and when we first got here communicating was a little hard due to different cultures and language barrier. But, it has been a year now and I feel great to see them living well together :D.
5. What is you deepest and most persistent fear?
= to decide. I admit that I am not independent enough because I live my whole life based on my parents’ decision despite being the oldest child. Everything including the simplest things, e.g: whether I need certain things or not, were theirs to decide and I was wrong to not stood against that and got comfortable with it instead. So I came to society like this, having no real experience on how to decide or think. I couldn’t decide because I don’t understand that every decision comes with consequences. I went for the easy path most of the time because I’m scared of big challenges, and my life was stagnant for years as a result.
Being judged. I’m scared to think of what people have to say about me. So i was always aiming to be “good at everything” to not give them chances to judge, or avoid the task completely if I’m more likely to make mistakes.
6. What is the greatest dream of your life?
= I want to master something and make money with it. There’s nothing specific, but i really want to do something and be good at it.
7. Who are you ?
= I am what I decided to be :).
P.s : Thanks for the great contents you guys shared. Much love from Indonesia??
Anne says
Where were you born?
Pontiac, Michigan
Where do you live now?
West Bloomfield, Michigan
What is the most important life lesson you’ve learned thus far?
It is good to evolve and change through life. Our childhood does not have to define us.
What makes you smile on an average day?
My family, including my two fur babies. Their presence and love lift my soul.
What is your deepest and most persistent fear?
Taking a risk and failing.
What is your greatest dream for your life?
To help people realize their potential.
Who are you?
Someone who tries to make a positive impact with everyone I interact with daily.
Ann Michael says
I was born in Morristown, New Jersey I currently live in Saranac Lake, New York. Most people I encounter here genuinely love this place. I wonder if I will ever feel the way that they do about living here. The most important life lesson that I continue to learn is how to love myself and to have faith in a power greater than myself. I smile when I am surrounded by nature, dogs and people who bring me joy. My greatest fear is that I am not living my best life. The greatest dream for my life is dying without regrets. I am a beautifully flawed woman eager to live life to the fullest without fear holding me back.
Corina says
I was born and raised in the south of The Netherlands, and still living here in a small village.
Since I was 6 years old, death came in our home as an uninvited guest. My oldest brother who was 20 years, died in a motoraccident in Germany. My parents were not alowed to see him anymore because it was a foreign country. No one had identified him so it was a dark mystery, that could not heal and with that, I’ve lost a part of my parents too. 8 Years later my father died of lung cancer. It was a difficult time and nobody noticed the sexual abuse during all those years. I learned the hard way, that the only one I could rely on was me and I picked up the pieces. One year before I was pregnant, I found my mother suddenly dead in her bed. It felt like she took a piece from me with her. I gave birth to 2 beautiful boys and was happy. When they were 6 and 7 years old, my husband had a heart attack in front of our frontdoor and he was dead. They saw it. It was a nightmare. One year later my youngest brother died in his sleep. And 2 years later my oldest brother went to the hospital for a medical research and they made a mistake and he died a few days later. The doctor apologized for the mistake.
My husband’s parents died 2 years before he died.
There I was, alone with my children, with no family left. Always strong for my children, I learned the very, raw way that every minute counts. That counting my blessings and be grateful for everything we have, is the most important in life. To be happy with each other and not with things, but people.
I smile every day when I open my eyes, grateful for another day to be alive. To see my children when I wake them in the morning. My whole heart smiles. Sometime I dance out of joy to be alive.
My deepest fear is the question that my children ask me, ‘what will happen with us, If something happens to you?’ The fear that something will happen to me and there is nobody for them. I live healthy but that’s the only thing I can do. Sometimes I am afraid to go sleep, that I will die in my sleep and they find me, all alone.
My greatest dream is to start a business, but I am afraid to fail and lose the stability of our home. I am learning to let fear go.
I am a piece of the big picture and try to leave love sparkles around me and bless people wherever I go.
Sandy says
Amazing strength and courage, Corina. Sending hug and encouragement. ?
Corina says
Thank you x
Nan says
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Mindy says
Your attitude and joy are truly amazing! Thank you for sharing this.
Ann C says
I was born in a small town in Michigan and now at 70 live twenty miles from that little town that I didn’t leave until I was 22.
The most important life lesson was that whether you want to or not you will survive devastating losses. The loss of my husband taught me how strong I was, empathy for others going thru similar losses, and caring for those I still had in my life.
I smile every time I see a baby, bodies of water and nature. And I love a good joke.
Deepest fear took me awhile to decide. I trust in the Lord and don t fear much, perhaps another lesson learned from losing My love.
But I do fear a long drawn out illness before passing.
My greatest dream is to help others and I’ve been able to do that.
I am a person who is trying to make a difference in small ways to the people I meet in this life. I’m an optimist with a great deep faith and a deep love for all God has made for us to enjoy. I’m continuing to grow and learn thru posts like this.
Sandi says
I was born the third child of seven in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. My family moved to Mississauga, Ontario, Canada when I was 12 years of age and then to Sherwood Park, Alberta, Canada when I was 14 years old.
I met my (future) husband when I was 18 years old and married him when I was 24 years old. We had our first child when I was 29 and I was diagnosed with Relapsing Remitting Multiple Sclerosis two weeks after my 30th birthday. We had our second son after careful consideration when I was 32 years of age.
I loved being a stay-at-home mom despite the many ups and downs MS presented and outdoor walks to far away playgrounds turned into a daily morning habit I stuck with long after the boys were in school. I started a disease-modifying medication in 2000 and have become somewhat addicted to fitness since 2004 after joining a local gym. Our second child was diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease in 2005 at the age of 13 and it turned our world upside down for a number of years until it was brought under control with a strong medication that he has ‘infused’ monthly (to this day) at the hospital. Our sons work hard and have both lived away from home for a number of years but they both suffer from mental health issues to some degree. My husband finished working in November from what might be his last job after being the sole provider for our family of four. His hard years in the Oil and Gas Industry kept our family afloat and although he (age 63) would like to continue working for a couple of more years, jobs in that field are being fazed out in favor of living ‘green’. Canada as a whole hasn’t realized (yet) how much Alberta supports the rest of the country with our oil production. He and I will celebrate our 35th wedding anniversary this summer.
Jacqui says
I love this article and SO want to change that default question in today’s culture. I also want to know WHO someone is. Thanks for sharing this!
Tee says
Where were you born? West Coast of Canada
Where do you live now? After living in Europe for periods of my life, I’m back on the West Coast, but in a new city.
What is the most important life lesson you’ve learned thus far? That people matter the most and that horrible things can happen that you think you’ll never make it through, but you do. And you keep living and keep growing.
What makes you smile on an average day? I’m learning to see the small things each day as reasons to make me smile. I have a great life materially, but am working on developing those happy moments and stringing them together to create a life of satisfaction that is based on feeling the sunshine, smiling when my dog runs around the yard, breathing the fresh ocean air……
What is your deepest and most persistent fear? Being alone (not physically but emotionally), and not having people love and care for me, even when I’m old (I don’t have children).
What is your greatest dream for your life? To wake up energized for the day and feel lifted by enthusiasm for each day. To fill each day with something that makes me happy and feel whole.
Who are you? I’m not sure……I knew for a long time, but illness threw me off my path and now I’m looking within myself to find out who I am now.
Tia Shurina says
Its ‘true’, I too, have a son Mac, like u, dear Marc! And The Invitation helped me to change my life. Thank u for a lovely remind of one of my favorite poems, most cherished books and most important life lessons about intimacy.
P.S…& another trueth about me…embarking on the journey to change my entire life after my dad passed almost 10 years ago was the most beautyFull thing I have ever done!
In gratitude, ??&Love,
& with ??felt best wishes for a special 2019 to u & Angel…& Mac too??
Tia
?
Kathy says
I was born in Sydney Australia and currently live in Newcastle Australia. It’s a beautiful seaside town. The most important lesson I have learned is that dreams are for rich people and that having dreams only leads to unhappiness and unfulfilment. What makes me smile everyday is my two cats and the antics they get up to and my art. I love to create. I turned 50 on Wednesday and my deepest fear is that I will always be stuck working in jobs I hate with people I hate and using my intelligence and strength to make others rich while I barely make ends meet. That I will never make a difference in this world. My greatest dream is to make a difference in this world. To live rather than just exist. To travel the world and make it a better place. Who am I? I’m a smart sassy independent and unfulfilled 50 year old who loves to laugh and fights depression every day.
Sakhile Ndiweni says
Where were you born?
I was born in Bulawayo Zimbabwe
Where do you live now?
I still live in Bulawayo Zimbabwe with my parents and sister and my 19month old daughter
What is the most important life lesson you’ve learned thus far?
That the ones we want are not the ones we were meant to be with and that everything happens for a reason
What makes you smile on an average day?
My daughters laugh…my 18 year old sister,she’s funny…..and memes on the internet
What is your deepest and most persistent fear?
Am scared of dying and leaving my daughter with nothing,l want to make sure she can have something l left for her so she can start her own life
What is your greatest dream for your life?
To make it to my daughters 21st birthday.
Who are you?
I am someone with a lot of ambition but l don’t know where to start or which career path to take,l turned 30 on the 15th of January,shouldn’t l know the answer to this question by now!
Elisabet says
Hi! My name is Elisabet.
I was born in Argentina and I’ve been living in California for the last 18 years.
The most important lesson I’ve learned so far is that nobody is going to come and rescue me (A.K.A. I’m responsible for my own life) I’m not going to lie: I still resist the lesson.
Different things make me smile: my kids, my cat, people… Funny thing, what makes me frown: my kids, my cat, people…
My most persistent fear I guess is to move, to take action, to decide, to make mistakes, to make a fool of myself… in other words: to live?
My greatest dream is to travel and make friends all over the world, to be a storyteller.
Your last question is hard to answer: I don’t know who I am, I’m in the process to find out.
^ ^
\__/
Russell E Borner says
Where were you born?
– I was born in Rockville Centre, New York.
Where do you live now?
– I now live in Croton on Hudson, New York…35 miles north of Manhattan.
What is the most important life lesson you’ve learned so far?
– There are no coincidences…given 7 Billion other souls on the planet, we’ll never meet all of them. Those we do have a message we need to hear, and we have a message they need to hear…in the time we have together, whether it’s the 5 minutes on the train platform, the hour on the massage table or a 40-year marriage, we either share that message or we don’t…if we do, we separate, perhaps never to see each other again, the richer. If we don’t, we part the lesser. (The question you started this blog with is a good way to start)
What makes you smile?
Whenever I either do or say something for/to another person that causes me to experience an LFHRE (lower forearm hair raising experience)
What is your deepest fear?
-That I will not fulfill the mission the Good Guy has given me to pay forward what I have learned over the past 34 years of sobriety from alcohol to those millions going to bed tonight suffering the same visceral pain I did 35 years ago. After all, at 78 I only have about 22 left.
What is your greatest dream for life?
-Facilitating the acceptance and utilization of structured touch (Therapeutic Massage) as another modality for use in the Addiction Recovery Model…
Who are you?
A grateful, blessed member of the human family called to use the unique and individual gifts, talents and charisms I have been given by my Higher Power.
Julia says
Where were you born?
Portsmouth, UK
Where do you live now?
Ascot, Berkshire, UK
What is the most important life lesson you’ve learned thus far?
That it’s ok not be perfect and I can trust in God who loves me whatever.
What makes you smile on an average day?
Listening to my daughter chattering on.
What is your deepest and most persistent fear?
Not feeling good enough and destruction of our beautiful planet.
What is your greatest dream for your life?
To run my own bakery and coffee shop by the sea and increase my confidence to campaign for the environment.
Who are you?
A sensitive, caring, creative underachiever.
Aara says
Where were you born?
I was born in Ranpur, India and lived there in beautiful farm house with my parents and grandparents until age of 10, after that we moved to bigger town called Bhavnagar so my sister and I can get better education. When I was 19, I moved to Sydney, Australia to pursue my graduation and fall in love with place hence lived there for 14 years.
Where do you live now?
Later, I loved something more than just a place, a person 🙂 and an idea of discovering depth of my love which encouraged me to relocate again, and now I live in Melbourne , Australia but I always say that my heart is my home and I would live there until last breathe.
What is the most important life lesson you’ve learned thus far?
Live life , make memories and spend your time with loved ones because no one is gona get alive but you can surely make it lively and respect time you have on this beautiful earth.
What makes you smile on an average day?
Sunshine, rain drop , trees and thinking how lucky I am to have loving family.
What is your deepest and most persistent fear?
… it’s so deep that makes me numb to even write but losing loved ones.
What is your greatest dream for your life?
To live life graciously and be loved and have someone to love forever, in all seasons just like tree roots and soil.
Who are you?
I think I am an angel and a doer who’s here to experience, give & sprinkle ?
P.S. I love reading your blog and thank you for sharing your story ?.
+-Life. says
I like how different this post is from the others!
Here’s mine:
Where were you born?
Singapore
Where do you live now?
Singapore
What is the most important life lesson you’ve learned thus far?
There are so many but if I had to choose one, it would be accepting the fact that it’s better to be happy than to be right.
What makes you smile on an average day?
Waking up and realizing that I’m still alive, healthy and kicking ass!
What is your deepest and most persistent fear?
The fear of not being accepted for what and who I am.
What is your greatest dream for your life?
My greatest dream is to be able to achieve perfect balance between work and play.
Who are you?
I am a lifelong student
A personal development writer (click my name to read my blog)
And I like to hit things with sticks.
This does bring home a point too.
We need to ask other people about their stories and learn to connect with each other on a deeper level.
Thanks for the lesson!
Frank Castle says
Where were you born?
San Jose, California
Where do you live now?
I don’t. I exist. Mostly out of habit.
What is the most important life lesson you’ve learned thus far?
How not to traumatize kids, and how not to treat the mother of my children. Lots of other things too, but these break the cycle.
What makes you smile on an average day?
Cats
What is your deepest and most persistent fear?
That I’m too broken to be loved.
What is your greatest dream for your life?
Love
Who are you?
Someone nobody knows. Who grew up early, never felt safe and never learned to socialize. Borderline agoraphobic. Been worrying about money since I was a little kid. Someone who thought at least I didn’t become like the bullies. But really I just turned inward. While kind & caring towards others, I was harsh & cruel to myself with unrealistic criticisms & expectations. A kid that got threatened whenever he tried to help. So that then he had to solve the problem to save himself instead of being able to help because he wanted to help. Who had to succeed or pay the price for the attempt. Heart all thrashed from waking up to find out our parents ghosted our pets. Good morning, hey you know that creature that brings you love and joy. It’s gone now. And from getting thrown away by my first love. Like those sneakers dangling from the power lines. Still hanging in there. But nobody wants them.
Jamched Sai Shreekanth says
My name is Shreekanth.
I was born in Anantapur a district in Andhra Pradesh,India.
I now live in Hyderabad the capital city of Telangana,India.
The most important life lesson I’ve learnt so far is that never take your family for granted,these are the people who stay with you, always ,no matter what .
The thing I fear the most is ofcourse the fear of failure due to which I won’t even try to chase my dreams.I think that it’s all futile no matter what I do.
My greatest dream for my life is to go out there and do the things I do with all my heart and not have that feeling of regret at my death bed.
The thing that makes me smile on an average day is actually nothing now that I think of it:-).
I’m this guy who is always in a state of dilemma.Who is scared of menial things.always trying to bring out the best in me but failing miserably to do so and then criticising myself for not doing .
Always in a state of constant despair and have fluctuating hope.
Ann says
I was born in Michigan. I’m a 51 year old woman. As a child, my emotional needs weren’t met (which is no fault of my parents because their emotional needs weren’t met either). I was overfed as a child and quickly learned that food was comforting. I gained a lot of weight as a child and was fat-shamed every day, teased, rejected, humiliated and traumatized by gym class, unaccepted by peers and hated being me. During my HS years, I just wanted to die. I was seriously food-addicted and spent every summer on diets by my well-intended mother. I did not experience dances, prom, belonging, self-acceptance, self-esteem, or carefree happiness like most teenagers do. When I was 22, I learned how to throw up, and spent the next 25 years doing that. I never married. I never had children. I have very few really great memories. I pushed everyone far away because I didn’t want people knocking on my door while I was puking. The toxic self-loathing from my childhood has infiltrated every single cell in my body like an aggressive, stage 4 cancer. As far as years of counseling and hospitalizations go, it’s “been there, done that.” A book called “Unworthy” by Anneli Rufus shined a HUGE FLASHLIGHT on my core problem: I’m full of toxic self-hate. No doctor has ever come close to figuring this out for me. The thought of spending perhaps another 25yrs in this existence fills me with despair. I have things that I am grateful for, but truthfully, I just don’t enjoy life.
Ann says
Just want to add one thing I’ve learned: you can’t unring a bell. Choose your words wisely.?
Joan says
The responses are awesome!! People have such big life experiences which you cannot know by looking at someone. Let me share mine as well:
Where were you born? Kenya
Where do you live now? Nanyuki, Kenya
What is the most important life lesson you’ve learned thus far? Losing a loved one changes your life so much. There is a part of you that goes with them and you know that you are different. I lost my best friend in 2012 and I can tell you that there is Joan before 2012 and Joan after. I think I was more carefree
What makes you smile on an average day? My daughter Ella. Such a joy in my life and my sisters especially when we dance in the evening
What is your deepest and most persistent fear? That I clip my daughter’s wings. That happened with my mother and I feel my child hood limited my choices so much before I chose to be what i wanted to be. My home will always be filled with love
What is your greatest dream for your life? To write great love stories and leave a legacy for my children
Who are you? A storyteller who believes in God and love , who works as an accountant by to feed her family
Jennifer says
Where were you born? Paterson, NJ and moved to South Dakota when I was three. I grew up in Mitchell (home of the World’s Only Corn Palace).
Where do you live now? Centennial, CO. I’ve lived in the Denver metro area 25 years.
What is the most important life lesson you’ve learned thus far? That perfectionism is an impossible and unhealthy goal. My life is much more joyful since I’ve embraced steadily making small improvements in my attitude and the way I approach life
What makes you smile on an average day? Waking up, a hot shower, the antics of my dogs, the beauty of God’s creations, my husband.
What is your deepest and most persistent fear? Fear of failure and letting those around me down. Intellectually I know I’m doing the best I can each day with the tools I have at hand. However, that pesky perfectionism still nags. Reminding myself daily (and often more frequently) that God is in control helps me keep these fears at bay.
What is your greatest dream for your life? That I continue to be a light to those around me. For me, I have found that I need to acknowledge and embrace both the light and dark aspects of me. I get to make the choice as to how I deal with what I discover.
Who are you? I am a perfectly imperfect child of God.
Mike Terrell says
Where were you born? Texas, USA
Where do you live now? Texas, USA…though I feel like a fish out of water.
What is the most important life lesson you’ve learned thus far? Thought creates my reality. If I think positively, I get positive. If I think negatively, I get (much) more of the same.
What makes you smile on an average day?
I find joy in a sunset, a rainstorm; everywhere in Nature. I’m at my happiest when I can walk barefoot in grass, sand or soil.
What is your deepest and most persistent fear?
I’m a fraud.
What is your greatest dream for your life?
To define and then find success for myself – and for loved ones. I’m blessed with an amazing partner whose dream is to travel the world…with me. Wow. That’s a dream I ache to give him…and me.
Who are you?
I’m a nobody who wants to be better today than he was yesterday.
Finally, I really appreciate the sincerity of the writings on your blog, Marc and Angel.
Rumi says
Reading the different comments really led me to thinking that we all crave for similar things, but the way we get there might be different. Our starting points might differ but our end goal is ultimately the same. Interesting! Here’s mine.
Where were you born?
Singapore.
Where do you live now?
Still Sunny Singapore.
What is the most important life lesson you’ve learned thus far?
You may feel an intense emotion now, but you won’t feel that forever. People and things change, and we might take some time to adjust to it- but we are stronger than we seem, and braver than we think. To take on life with a positive mindset, and to cherish the people who supported you during tough times.
What makes you smile on an average day?
To spend time with my loved ones- family and friends. To create and play music. To see a corgi.
What is your deepest and most persistent fear?
That I’ll be rejected by my loved ones for being who I truly am. That I’ll not achieve anything great in this lifetime. That I’ll be full of regrets at the end of my life.
What is your greatest dream for your life?
To have a lifelong curiosity to learn, and to create art, be it in the form of music, books, films, or photography- that inspires others to be better and make a positive difference in the world.
Who are you?
I’m a daughter, a friend, a dreamer, a colleague, an advocate, a musician, a counsellor, an employee, an animal-lover, and so much more.
Disa says
Hi Marc and Angel! Kudos to this splendid article. So here I am, taking this challenge.
Where were you born?
I was born in Manila, Philippines.
Where do you live now?
Most of my life is living in Pasig City, Philippines.
What is the most important life lesson you’ve learned thus far?
Actually I learned this from one of your articles, “What you do today is important, because you are exchanging a day of your life to it.” It created a greater impact due to the words “exchanging a day.” This is what I hold dear in my heart and mind now.
What makes you smile on an average day?
Making others smile and laugh because of the jokes I throw and seeing my special guy’s message for me.
What is your deepest and most persistent fear?
That I am no longer capable to achieve my dreams, betrayed my family’s hopes for me, and will never be able to love truly.
What is your greatest dream for your life?
My greatest dream is to live a life that is simply happy and loving without the shackles of my past and negativity. I also want to inspire people like you do.
Who are you?
I am this gal who looks reserved but I’m just walking down in my own world. I am that eldest daughter the family relies and I am that loyal friend the circle of my friends can talk to.
Coralee Kulman says
Where were you born?
Auburn WA, raised in Enumclaw WA at the base of Mount Rainier.
Where do you live now?
Puyallup WA
What is the most important life lesson you’ve learned thus far?
What you focus on increases.
What makes you smile on an average day?
Strangely enough, looking in the mirror and seeing myself so happy.
What is your deepest and most persistent fear?
I’ve made friends with my fear seeing it as merely a signal to move into some new understanding.
What is your greatest dream for your life?
To publish my book series — happening this year!!!
Who are you?
I’m a soft place to fall and a teacher of living skills leading to coming alive.
Bubbles says
I was born in Karachi Pakistan and currently living there.
I’ve learned that you have to understand. You have to empathize or else the world won’t make any sense. The whole world would seem to be against you, even your Creator if you don’t try to empathize with the situation. Consoling other is the most difficult job; making yourself understand is one thing making others understand the reason behind their suffering is another thing altogether. It requires right words with the right tone at the precise moment to make a difference in their life.
I don’t know. Any cute picture I see of someone’s pet watching TV or a cute baby just being a baby or messing around with a friend or a teacher, or a friend saying something witty, or some conversation I overhear while walking to my department or a junior stopping by to greet me; I just realized these things makes my lip curve upward on an average day.
Displeasing my Allah. I’m hell of scared of drawing Allah’s displeasure. When I leave this world I want my Allah to be pleased with me. Uncertainty. Whether I’ll be able to complete a certain book I’m reading or complete a certain task before getting bored and abandoning it, how will someone react to something I said or do, or something someone else did, whether I’ll love something till the end. All I want to be is assured. Losing my loved ones. I want my parents my siblings, my family to stay together forever. May Allah protect my loved ones.
To heal people; through my words and through my speech. To do something with my degree that makes a difference to a common man. To travel the world with my parents and perform Hajj. To be able to watch thrillers and horror movies. To explore, experience, travel and never stop learning hear.
I’m a thief; of dreams, words, stories, ideas, experiences! Don’t be scared of me hehe. I‘m harmless. I just take inspiration from all of this and try to incorporate them in my life. Making my own different path.
Carina says
Where were you born?
I was born in Uppsala in Sweden.
Where do you live now?
Today I live with my husband and two teenage daughters in Dalby in the southern part of Sweden.
What is the most important life lesson you’ve learned thus far?
Try to enjoy everyday of my life instead of postponing it till the next day or week even if it is hard sometimes.
What makes you smile on an average day?
My family and meeting other people who smiles to me.
What is your deepest and most persistent fear?
That something bad will happen to my family.
What is your greatest dream for your life?
Being able to buy a country house and grow my own vegetables and keeping some hens.
Who are you?
Just an average, normal person on this earth.
Gigi says
Where were you born?
I was born in Bryan Mawr, PA.
Where do you live now?
I live in the woods in Perkiomenville, PA. I pretend I live off the grid but 10 minutes from a store.
What is the most important life lesson you’ve learned thus far?
The things in life that caused me the most pain have contributed to my growth, compassion and empathy.
What makes you smile on an average day? A dog and a cat, George and Tiger. I call them “The self esteem team”.
What is your deepest and most persistent fear?
That someday I will not have any family and I will be alone.
What is your greatest dream for your life?
Moving out west, Colorado and skiing into my 80s with great health and being free.
Who are you?
I’m unique just like everyone else.
Love Mendoza says
Where were you born?
I was born in Cebu, Philippines.
Where do you live now?
I live in the down town area of Cebu City.
What is the most important life lesson you’ve learned thus far?
By far, the most important life lesson that I’ve learned is to slowly embrace my own imperfections and start loving them, day by day.
What makes you smile on an average day?
What makes me smile? Seeing my nephews milestones in life and my puppy’s crazy habit of snuggling whenever she wants to have her playtime. *priceless*
What is your deepest and most persistent fear?
The fear of not being worthy enough. This has been my constant fear.
What is your greatest dream for your life?
To be able to give my family a happy and steady life (financially stable, physically well, spiritually and emotionally united) and for my family to support me with my endeavors of working abroad and settle.
Who are you?
I am just a commoner, a dreamer, and a fighter.
Youpele Pereowei says
My story is very short..my name is Pereowei Youpele,born in Nigeria,Bayelsa.State.I’m 29.still living here.dad died when I was 11 ever since life has not been same and have been emotionally alone and private.I never grew up with mom.music is the only thing that gives me joy..my dream is to find peace with my soul and live happily with my family..
Marygold Lemoncito says
Where were you born?
Where do you live now?
I was born and raised in Bacolod City, Philippines, a small city iin the visayas region of the Philippines, a far cry from the more overpopulated and crowded cities in Manila. I still live in Bacolod to this day…. and I am now actually questioning myself how come I never lived somewhere else my whole life.
What is the most important life lesson you’ve learned thus far?
Without me really planning it, I got pregnant and married young, and started what I thought was life. I worked, studies and raised a family early on and, no kidding, it wasn’t easy and wasn’t the life I imagined. Life struggles took a toll on my marriage, and at 32 with 4 young kids, I decided to leave my husband who became physically abusive ro me and my children. Life did not get easier though, I had to work doubly hard to singlehandedly raise my 4kids and make life a little bit comfortable for us. Also, I did find a partner after sometime, and life became a bit easy going.
Fast forward to 12 years after, as expected, lot of things changed – age, career, businesses, friends, colleagues – are not the same anymore. The kids were now young adults and have left home to study or work in another city. Then the most unexpected for me – my partner left me for a younger woman without even saying goodbye, and that also meantt losing everything I have worked for for our future and old age. I was caught off guard, unprepared, emotionally, psychologically, financially. Worse, I was approaching 50 and having bouts of hormonal imbalance and depression. And as if that was not enough, my dad passed away few some months later. It was one of the lowest point in my life. I struggled to find myself during this time – even resorted to unhealthy coping mechanisms (alcohol, drugs, gambling, crash diet, online gaming). But everything that happened reminded me that whatever I was going through was only temporary and that, things will pass and I should start doing some postive changes to myself, one step at a time, one day at a time. I started reading and listening to stories of other people going through life struggles themselves, and these inspired me knowing that if other people overxome their struggles, I can always do it, too. After all, everything happens for a reason and I should learn to let go and trust the procesa.
What makes you smile on an average day?
I can now say I smile a lot most of the time. Going through that difficukt phase in my life, I learned to be more appreciative of things, became calmer and non-adversarial, and chose to be more mindful of my reactions and response to any situation. With that mindset, I began to be smiling more often and can proudly say I no longer nurture any anger or ill- feelings anymore. Yes… I find myaelf smiling a lot- for no reason that even other people noticed how mucb my aura can positively affect others. Plus, smiling is my best antidote to wrinkles! What more can I ask?
What is your deepest and most persistent fear?
I always feared rejection. Since I was a kid, I always try so mucb harder than normal so that people will like me and notice me and praise me. And while it is not as much as I was in my younger days, I realized that I still do have a fear of rejection. This is particularly true in my romantic relationshiips. I shun the thought of someone ‘loving me’ , and unconsciously placed walls around myself to protect me from getting hurt. I am now trying to openly recognize this because I want myself to be more open to love and truly believe I am enough.
What is your greatest dream for your life?
Who are you?
My greatest dream is to live each day to the fullest, to be always present in the moments I share with the people whom I have genuinely comne ted amd bonded with. I want to learn and experience something new everyday knowing that there are so mucb unlimited possibilities in this world; i want to meet people and understand what and how we connect and create lasting relationships and make the world a better world; I dream to travel and discover as many places as I can and creating memories that reinforces my belief that life is beautiful indeed… and that I dream of sharing all these in a book or memoirs or a blog that will truly inspire people to do the same.
Phoebe-Ann says
I am new to this website and I am enjoying it already. Thank you so much.
Where were you born?
I was born on the tiny island of Tobago in the twin island state of Trinidad and Tobago in the West Indies.
Where do you live now?
I live on the island of Trinidad.
What is the most important life lesson you’ve learned thus far?
That it is okay to be different.
What makes you smile on an average day?
I derive joy from the most mundane things and I see the humour in everything.
What is your deepest and most persistent fear?
Dying old and alone. I am unmarried and have no children.
What is your greatest dream for your life?
To fall in love and get married.
Who are you?
I am a complex and multi talented and multilayered personality just trying to find my place in the world.
Jl says
Trying to find out who I am Trying to find inner peace Trying to remain calm thru many many obstacles Trying to breathe