Let’s end this crazy year with a quick story about life…
Tragedy strikes a woman who isn’t yet old. A minivan traveling toward her on a dark mountain highway hits her car nearly head-on just after sunset. She grips her steering wheel as hard as she can and veers into the rocky mountainside until her car screeches to a halt. The minivan flips onto its side and skids in the other direction off a cliff, plummeting nearly 500 feet to the ground below. Inside, a young family of five on their way to grandma’s house for New Year’s Eve.
The woman doesn’t recall the events that followed during the next several days. She doesn’t recall the three eye witnesses who comforted her and assured her that it wasn’t her fault—that the other driver had swerved into her lane. She doesn’t recall how she got to the emergency room or the fact that she stayed there for over a week, well into the New Year, to treat a severe concussion and broken bones.
What she does know—and clearly recalls—are the endless string of days she passes sitting alone in her bedroom, crying and thinking, “Why me?” Why after 48 years of Sunday church attendance, unwavering faith, and regular community service and charity work, would God ask her to spend the rest of her life knowing that she single-handedly killed an entire family?
She has a family of her own that tries to comfort her ailing heart, but now she sees them only as the family she has taken from the world. She also has an overflowing network of close friends who want to see her smile again, but they now represent friends that others have lost because of her.
The woman who isn’t yet old begins to age more rapidly. Within a few short months, she is a shell of her former self—skin and bones, wrinkles creasing under her eyes, a despondent downward gaze, and a hole in her heart that has grown so wide she feels like there’s nothing left at all.
All the people around her—those family members and friends who care so much—have done everything in their power to revive her to her former self. When love didn’t work, they tried relaxing vacations. When vacations didn’t work, they tried getting her involved in healthy community activities. When the community activities didn’t work, they tried doctors. And now they have resigned from trying. Because the woman who is now an old woman has completely resigned from everything.
A night comes—New Year’s Eve exactly one year after the accident—when she decides that it’s just not worth it any more—that it’s time to leave this world behind. Perhaps to go somewhere better. Perhaps to go nowhere at all. Luckily, she decides to sleep on it, because she barely has the strength to keep her eyelids open. So she closes her eyes and instantly falls into a deep sleep.
And she begins to dream. In it, she is sitting in a dimly lit room at a round table across from an elderly woman who looks a lot like her late mother, who coincidentally passed away on New Year’s morning five years before the accident. They stare at each other in silence for several minutes and then the elderly woman speaks.
“My dear, tragedy is simply a miracle waiting to be discovered. Because within tragedy lie the seeds of love, learning, forgiveness, and empathy. If we choose to plant these seeds, they grow strong. If, on the other hand, we choose to overlook them, we prolong our tragedy and let somebody else discover the miracle.”
The old woman cries in her dream and in her sleep. She thinks about her husband, her children, and all of the wonderful people who love and care for her. And she suddenly realizes that instead of using the tragic accident to notice how precious life is, she has prolonged the tragedy and essentially ceased to live her life. And she is very close, now, to passing all her pain and sorrow over to the people she loves the most in this world.
She opens her eyes and takes a deep breath. She is alive. She realizes that she still has an opportunity to change things . . . to mend the broken pieces and experience the miracle that comes after the tragedy . . . to plant the seeds of love, learning, forgiveness, and empathy, and water these seeds until they grow strong.
She rolls over and kisses her husband on the cheek and ruffles his hair until his eyelids begin to flutter. He opens his eyes and looks at her, totally confused. There’s a spark in her eyes he hasn’t seen in a long while—a spark that he thought had died with her youth on the day of the accident. “I love you so much,” she says. “I’ve missed you,” he replies softly as he kisses her lips. “Happy New Year, and welcome back.”
Our Stories . . . After a Hard Year
The woman in the story above is a close friend. Her name is Wendy, and I’m happy to say she’s alive and well, and not nearly as “old” as she once was. With that said, however, Angel and I know many beautiful souls just like her who are still desperately struggling in these final moments of 2020. We’ve been speaking with them every single day.
Through a decade of coaching sessions, course trainings, heartfelt conversations, and live annual seminars, Angel and I have learned a lot about the human condition and the stories we hold on to and recite to ourselves. And, for so many of us, the end of the year is when it all comes to a head. We spend the final days of the year off from work and school, reflecting on the state of our lives. It’s not all bad of course, but even when times are generally good our minds have a tendency to drift back to (perhaps less intense) personal versions of Wendy’s accident on that dark mountain highway.
And Angel and I are no different. To say the least, 2020 hasn’t been the easiest year to reflect on. Certain recent memories are painstaking to process.
Our solution?
Keeping things in perspective. We proactively feed ourselves the right reminders—our year-end mantras—to ease our aching minds and redirect our energy effectively. We challenge you to remind yourself, too . . .
Mantra #1: You are not alone.
Don’t be scared to let someone special in when you’re in a dark place. You know who this person is. Don’t expect them to solve your problems; just allow them to face your problems with you. Give them permission to stand beside you (even if it’s virtually via FaceTime or Zoom). They won’t necessarily be able to pull you out of the dark place you’re in, but the light that spills in when they enter will at least show you which way the door is.
Above all, the important thing to remember is that you don’t have to face hard times by yourself. No matter how bizarre or embarrassed or pathetic you feel about our own situation, there is someone in your life who has dealt with similar emotions and who wants to help you. When you hear yourself say, “I am alone,” it’s just your mind trying to sell you a lie. Don’t believe it! You are NOT alone.
Mantra #2: Be here now, and breathe.
Life often leads us on journeys we would never go on if it were up to us. Don’t be afraid. Have faith. Believe. Believe in yourself through hard times. Believe in your capacity to heal. Believe that the answers are out there waiting. Believe that life will surprise you again and again. Believe that the journey is the destination. Believe that it’s all worth your while.
Yes, you’ve been hurt. You’ve gone through numerous ups and downs that have made you who you are today. So many things have happened—things that have changed your perspective, taught you lessons, and forced your spirit and soul to grow. See the beauty in this. Appreciate your progress. Give yourself credit for your resilience and how far you’ve come . . .
You’ve lived.
You’ve learned.
You’ve survived all your bad days.
And you’re still here growing.
So, just remind yourself right now: You are not your bad days. You are not your mistakes. You are not your scars. You are not your past. Be here now, and breathe.
Mantra #3: This is the beginning.
Everything in life—every situation and every relationship—has to come to an end eventually. It’s important to appreciate and accept the end of an era—to walk away sensibly when something has reached its inevitable conclusion. Letting go, turning the page, moving forward, etc. It doesn’t matter what you call it, what matters is that you leave the past where it belongs so you can make the best of the life that’s presently available to be lived. This ending is not THE END, it’s just your life beginning again in a new way. It’s a point in your story where one chapter fades into the next.
To a great extent, this happens to us constantly. It’s happening right now.
Every single day we have to accept the fact that things will never go back to how they used to be, and that this ending is really the beginning. This concept might be tough to accept sometimes, but it’s always the truth. Life is endless impermanence. And it’s beautiful. It means nothing is really behind you. It means life always begins now—right now—not tomorrow or the next day or the next. And it means you can have the fresh start you want whenever you want.
So be humble. Be teachable. The world is always bigger than your momentary view of the world. Right now there’s plenty of room for a new idea, a new step . . . a new beginning. (Note: Angel and I discuss this in more detail in the “Happiness” chapter of the newest edition of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)
Mantra #4: In your response is your power.
The goal isn’t to get rid of all your negative thoughts, feelings, and life situations from this past year. That’s impossible. The goal is to change your response to them.
The first step?
Anchoring yourself in the present. Because no matter what, you can always fight the battles of today. It’s only when you add the infinite battles of yesterday and tomorrow that life gets overly complicated.
The easiest way to find presence, and change your immediate response, is to start by evaluating the tension in your body and posture. In fact, I bet you can find some kind of tension in your body at this very moment. For me, it’s often in my neck, but sometimes it’s in my back and shoulders.
Where does this tension we feel come from? We’re resisting life in some way—perhaps we’re disheartened by the truth, frustrated at our circumstances, or overwhelmed by the road ahead. And our mental resistance generates a tension in our bodies and unhappiness in our lives. Therefore, Angel and I often recommend this simple strategy to our course students who are struggling to relieve themselves of their resistance and tension:
- Locate the tension in your body right now.
- Notice what you’re resisting and tensing up against—it might be a situation or person you’re dealing with or avoiding.
- Relax the tense area of your body—deep breath and a quick stretch often helps.
- Face the same situation or person, but with a relaxed body and mind.
Repeat this practice as often as needed—make it a small daily ritual. Face the day with less tension and more presence. Change your mode of response from one of struggle and resistance to one of peace and acceptance. And see how doing so changes your life. (Note: Angel and I build small, life-changing rituals with our students in the “Goals & Growth” module of the Getting Back to Happy Course.)
Mantra #5: You have enough to move forward.
What if you woke up tomorrow with only the things you were thankful for today?
Seriously, look around, and be thankful right now. For your health, your family, your friends, and your home. Nothing lasts forever.
And even in times of uncertainty—even when life seems far from perfect—it’s always important to keep the simple things in perspective.
- You are alive.
- You didn’t go to sleep hungry last night.
- You didn’t go to sleep outside.
- You had a choice of what clothes to wear this morning.
- You haven’t spent a minute in fear for your life.
- You know someone who loves you.
- You have access to clean drinking water.
- You have access to the Internet.
- You can read.
Some might say you are incredibly wealthy and privileged. So remember to be thankful for all the things you do have. Let your enthusiasm rise from the doldrums by seizing the very real and present opportunity you have to be appreciative. Breathe it in. And then do your best to take the next smallest step forward into 2021.
It’s your turn…
I sincerely hope you will join us in keeping the points and principles in this post at the top of your mind today and into the New Year. 🙂
But before you go, let us know:
- Which point or principle above resonates the most right now and why?
Leave a comment below and share your thoughts with us.
Also, if you haven’t done so already, be sure to sign-up for our free newsletter to receive new articles like this in your inbox each week.
B says
Thank you.
Christine says
I would say that you’re daily emails, coaching and books have all played a big role in staying alive while battling a mysterious life threatening illness in 2020, one that is not curable but none the less no matter how many doctors & friends said I would never make it, I’m still here! You messages gave me different perspectives to choose from. This one in particular is so very close to being me and after I thought it couldn’t get any tougher, don’t ever believe it! I’m now taking care of my mom who was vibrant & was the one who stood by me all the way , no matter what came next but now it’s her turn. The doctors gave her a Ned that she was clearly allergic to and she stroked. Even though I had just suffered a heat stroke I put my place up for sale and moved up her to care for her, doubting she would ever return to the greatest Mom you could ever imagine having. Since I’ve spent my whole life in medicine I felt at this point she was more important than my health knowing my siblings weren’t going to help and also knowing my stabilization would not last. Well as God has always done so many times before he worked tirelessly through the hands of the best men I could find and picked up her pieces. It was absolutely amazing to say the least. Unfortunately my condition has hit the lowest of lows since the very beginning which I knew was to happen but she was far more important to me. Unfortunately now her husband has taken over and cancelled all the things that make the recovery remain in tack and I truly don’t have any more fight left in me. I’m so sad, sick, tired and devastated by the loss that comes ahead for the only person who ever stood by my side through life. I’ve read your 1000 Things book times today and probably will 3 times every day for a long time to hold on to sanity and make something positive of the future.
Liane says
Oh, Christine, I feel your pain although not to the extent you feel it, having experienced it to a lesser degree. All I can do is say I’m so sorry, and I hope something comes up positive and loving for you.
Nababteh says
God bless you! stay positive, strong, and thankful
Polly says
I am, once again, going to try my hardest to make 2021 a special year for myself. So many people talk about being alone and then mention a relationship with a significant other, a friend, a sibling, a parent and/or a child. In my case, I have absolutely nobody. I do have 2 sons that have chosen adult child estrangement nearly 6 years ago.
I have joined gyms, gone to churches, volunteered and many other things to try and meet people, all to no avail. Worst of all is when I finally meet someone that I feel is a real friend, I find out the hard way that I was simply being used. Obviously, I am doing something wrong.
I do have a fatal disease and I never talk about it unless I am asked. Typically I will give them the quick version of the disease and finish the conversation with, “Aren’t we all terminal? I just received a warning where as others did not”.
I did have a friend and he helped me out so much. We were strictly platonic but he stayed at my place quite often when I needed extra care. He was my emergency contact for everything. He was adopted and both of his parents were deceased. He had no extended family so we spent all of the holidays together and went on 3-4 day mini vacations occasionally.
I had been in the hospital for nearly a month in December, 2019. He stayed at my apartment to take care of my dog and also came to spend time with me when he got off work. I had to stay over Christmas and the New Year but I was finally released on January 8, 2020. After being home for a few days, I noticed that my friend was using protein drinks as his only source of food. I finally realized that he was not able to keep anything down including the protein drinks. On January 30th, I took him to the emergency room. He was diagnosed with esophageal cancer. Sadly he passed 35 days later on March 5, 2020. This is my first time being completely alone on all of the holidays. It has been extremely difficult but I am still here.
I want more than anything to try to locate other people that are completely alone and invite them to a Thanksgiving dinner, Christmas dinner and a New Year’s dinner. Maybe we could all be friends and have a monthly get together. Since I live in an apartment, I have access to the clubhouse. It has a full kitchen and I love to cook. It’s unfortunate that I am physically unable to cook everything myself but I would certainly try.
I plan to graciously accept all of the help that Marc and Angel provide to help me heal mentally. I believe that I still have a lot of love and compassion left to share. Furthermore, I believe in body, mind and spirit healing so if I am able to heal my mind, with God’s help, maybe the body will follow. Happy New Year to all of you and may God bless us all.
NANETTE MIRANDA says
Thank You so so much Marc and Angel 2020 has been nuts! But I am going to keep this to ‘re read it all the time…… what impressed me in this post and related email and I’m grateful. If you are grateful so much more will be added to you. Trust me i forget often and down in misery but after having read this it was certainly uplifting. This can be an emotional time of year and one tends to look at things past….. it can weigh heavy on one so I am so grateful for people such as you to show things in a different light. THANK YOU MANY MANY TIMES FOR YOUR GREAT WRITINGS. I wish I could attend your next live event or do some one-on-one coaching with you soon……. Nanette from South Africa
Karen says
How did you know that this was me today and those were just the words I needed to help me through a very black patch.
In just 1 year 5 people died and I lost my whole support network – best friend, grandfather, mother, father and then a car pulled out in front of me and knocked me off my bike. I limped along for another 2 years at work with a changing situation and my own position there going from bad to worse til I left and then started my own firm. It was just my 14 year old son and me and when I started it was about paying the mortgage and keeping things together long enough to get him through school.
That was 6 years ago now and he’s in his 2nd year at Uni and doing well.
The black times come particularly this time of year as the end of October is my mother’s death day and the end of November was when I was knocked off my bike. The ghosts and the pain haunt particularly badly now and I feel so alone. This year is really bad as my dog died at the end of September and I blame myself in part for it.
After reading your blog I’ve made a resolution.
On my mother’s Death Day I’m going to celebrate her life – she had so much love and loved to dance and laugh.
Next year – on her Death Day I’m going to celebrate her life.
Joanne says
Karen,
I love Marc&Angel too. I enjoy reading others’ comments- it’s reassuring to know we are not in this boat in the dark alone. Read your post and just wanted to reach out to you and let you know your post of your “sister’s” untimely passing did not go unnoticed. My thoughts and prayers for your family’s healing are with you. Again, there is incredible strength in numbers and in the shadows of the people who have blazed the path before us. One day at a time…
Liz Roberts says
just about everything you say “resonates” with me at the end of this year.
…powerfully, too.
and I think what really resonates is the sincerity behind it.
you speak from experience….you understand the pain, the sorrow, the fear, the trauma, the tragedy….because you KNOW IT.
you’re not just opining or trying to console with the right-sounding cliches.
when we are suffering, we can tell the difference.
Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom and compassion.
you are a tremendous help.
J says
I agree, this time of year can be tough sometimes.
I have certainly gone through my own versions of your friend’s heartache, and your style of writing and wisdom here reminds me of what it’s like to pick up the pieces after such a tragedy. Also, I’m actually in the process of consoling a friend who lost her sister in a car accident last December, so this post has given me a lot to think about. Thank you, as always.
ps. I just sent five copies of your 1000 little things book to five family members I love for the New Year. 🙂
Nev Kline says
Your emails are my bi-weekly medicine for the mind. Thank you so much from placing the link to this article in my inbox
What really struck me was this line: “Tragedy is simply a miracle waiting to be discovered. Because within tragedy lie the seeds of love, learning, forgiveness, and empathy.”
Though there is no immediate tragedy that is currently marring my life, I do feel I have some smaller yet troublesome problems blocking my road. Just now I thought to myself: “Could these problems be turned into an opportunity to love and forgive?”
Yes, why not? They truly could.
Thank you. For the immensely helpful perspective you’ve given me in this moment.
Oh, and I just purchased a recording of your most recent Think Better event in San Diego. I’m looking forward to watching it to start 2021.
Carla says
Wow – “ What if you woke up tomorrow with only the things you were thankful for today?” really got to me.
Thank you for this.
Kevin says
The opening story really moved me. But I also deeply appreciated your first point on not being alone, and the article you linked to in the first paragraph of that point on helping someone you love through depression. I suffered from mild-moderate depression over the past couple years and your online teachings and coaching were my gradual saviors. In fact, I actually remember Angel telling me to let my wife in, and I remember resisting that advice for months, but I eventually listened. And that was easily one of the best decisions of my life.
I’m also going to try to make my schedule work for some one on one coaching with you guys soon. It’s something I’ve been putting off for too long.
Henatta Eve says
The quote” Tragedy is simply a miracle waiting to be discovered” is so true. I have had many of these and have managed to find most of the miracles that tragedy has brought. I am especially thankful for a tragedy that happened to my daughter and her family. We live in northern California…where the center of the firestorms hit (and COVID has been tough). In January we had some strong storms that caused a large tree to fall on their house…destroying it and leaving them scared and homeless with 2 small children. Fortunately they moved the baby out of their room 2 days prior to the storm…which is were the baby would have been when the tree came down thru the roof. It would have killed her. They were blessed to not have been hurt or lost everything…were able to find another house to live and move forward with a new job. That house that was destroyed then was such a blessing…It was totally burned down in the firestorm that ensued, along with the whole wooded country neighborhood around them. They would have lost everything…maybe even their lives. And they would have had a horrible time finding housing now….there isn’t any affordable housing out there. It has definitely opened our eyes to what blessings tragedy can bring and how important family and friends are in your life.Your email was such a great reminder of living life with hope, courage and love from the people around you…if you let them. Have a wonderful holiday season! ….Blessings to you both…and all who share their stories…. We are all in this Life together!
Ray Mercer says
Thank you for these thoughtful words and mantras…I needed to hear most of that this time of year….Even though things are tough for me right now,, I am thankful for where I am, the loving friends in my life and the start of each and every new day…May God bless you and your ministry…
Heather Butcher says
I totally enjoy reading your advice…your encouragement…your honesty Marc and Angel…….
I am here in Barbados and yesterday there was an accident….a bad one…a head on collision …one car had one occupant …a male…and the other a couple – husband and wife……the male had just dropped home friends from a karaoke session and was heading home at 4:00 a.m. when the collision occurred……he died on the spot …the couple had to be rescued by the ‘jaws of life’ from the Fire Department. But they will be okay…the husband has several broken bones and the wife has complications due to chest pains….but they will make it.
Reading your story this morning was so comforting.
I suffer with a bit of anxiety and flying fears…but I am comforted by your words today and from others that I have read.
Keep on encouraging and being there for others …..it is truly a blessing and a wonderful gift that both of you have.
Happy early New Year!!! It couldn’t come sooner.
Heather
Carol says
“Anchoring yourself in the present. Because no matter what, you can always fight the battles of today. It’s only when you add the infinite battles of yesterday and tomorrow that life gets overly complicated”
Borrowing trouble, my Mom would say. Your email/post today eased my heart noticeably with just that simple advice. Thank you!
Tina says
I actually haven’t had time to read your wonderful e-mails for the last few years, as my job kept me busy & exhausted from am to pm. I thought I was happy, and in many ways I was. But for the past 6 years, I have been silently grieving the loss of my small family on the East Coast, while forging ahead with me life with my husband on the West Coast. My mother, brother, father, uncle all have passed in the last 5 years, and I just kept going and going… My position suddenly was terminated last month and now I am face to to face with loss of family, loss of a position that kept me very busy and a good income. Now looking at finding a job through the holidays, fearful that I will not find another that provides the income needed.
Thankfully, this e-mail packed with all the reminders that change is inevitable and learning and growing through the scary dark times, is always going to present itself, over and over again, in some form. Remembering to be grateful and appreciate all of the wonderful things that I take for granted sometimes, is what will see me through. We are not alone, we are all going through changes, and how we grow and learn through these changes, can be the difference between a loving vibration that surrounds us or the heavy feeling of sadness that I know I can easily fall into.
Thank you for remaining steady with your messages to help me get through the difficult times. Merry belated Christmas and may 2021 be a grand year of rebirth, recovery and celebrations for the little things and big things in life!
Monique says
Just a short but heart-felt “thank you” for each and every post you send out. Always clear and concise, uplifting and timely, and a pleasure to read.
All the best for 2021.
Mollin Sithole says
This was for me, it came at the right time, thank you so very much, this will help me pull out of my darkest moment in my life, thank you.
Jan says
Your down-to-earth comments and reminders to stay in the moment help me the most. Many of them I hear and have heard in 12 step recovery groups for many years. My oldest adult child has estranged herself completely from me for 3 years now, she blames me for everything wrong in her life. She has a successful career, is financially secure,etc. She is divorced; I don’t know if she has a current relationship. She is close to her dad and his current wife (her second step mother), spends holidays with them. Her siblings will not discuss her per her instructions. Holidays, her birthday, Mother’s day are so emotionally painful. Rejection hurts, but I’m am doing my best to move forward.
Angelcat47 says
I want to thank you both for being a bright light in the night to so many of us.
I have health issues, financial problems and I’ve lost all my original family members. Still, I’m very happy. I have sons and a grandson who love me, two wonderful best friends and extended family members.
I started saying a gratefulness prayer a few years ago and it has made a major difference in my outlook on life. I have so much to be thankful for, even when others will look at me as if I have nothing.
Merry late Christmas and Happy early New Year, to Marc, Angel and all the community members here.
christine says
Thank you. Sometimes I need a reminder that although I don’t have everything I want, I do have the things you talked about ie a bed to sleep in, roof over my head etc, and I feel very grateful. You give so much and there are many times when your words help me. This has been especially true this past year.
Best wishes for the season and for a better 2021.
cheers Christine
Olanrewaju Sherif says
Your Messages Bring Me Back To Reality. Thank You.
Louise says
Happy early 2021, Marc and Angel, you have helped me so much through 2020 and I’m so grateful to you—your coaching and teachings have been changing my life. -Louise
Judy says
Thanks for, “ Every single day we have to accept the fact that things will never go back to how they used to be, and that this ending is really the beginning“. It’s helped me much on this Christmas when my kids are can’t come home due to COVID19. Life is always changing, I will only know peace and happiness if I am content with exactly where I am right now. (I got that from you also). Looking forward to 2021.
Wendy Lee says
“You have enough to move forward.”
I think this point sits well with me right now. Being in the middle of study I have most of the skills needed to put into a job.
But having the certificate VI is like a prize. An achievement that I am worthy of. Something that hopefully makes me a better person.
With what I have there is a lot that can be done, just locating the pathway is the challenge I face. Not giving up and finding a way to cope with the pitfalls that come my way. Whether it be with study or my health or covid.
This statement makes me realise that even though I don’t have much now to offer in reality there is so much I do have, just need to look on it positively, find happiness and surely things will start to happen again.
Cheers Wendy Lee
Tessa Lovell says
After going through a very difficult time, which seemed like the worse thing that had happened to me, I decided after reading your blogs to view it differently and turn it into the best period of my life. I started my following an at-home exercise program on the internet and started to exercise each day. I then started practicing mindfulness at least twice a day. It has always been my aim to learn a language so I now see a tutor each week to learn Spanish. I also keep a gratitude diary which helps me keep focused on positive events instead of negative. I view life totally differently now and see life as a gift, which is limited.
I have had multiple sclerosis for 33 years and have now started to see an improvement in my health. I am now waking more with aid of a walker instead of always using wheelchair.
Thank you so much for your help and for reaching out to me you have helped me enormously.
Perla Milner says
“Gratitude is the vitamin of your soul” and even though we take for granted so many things we have many others do not, I want to tell you both once again how grateful I am to feel part of you… signs that there is always hope and each day lived is a blessing??? Wishing u all a healthy and peaceful new year.
Anderson Rhonda says
I hear what this article is saying. How do you just let go of someone you loved and lost so unexpectedly? I feel so empty inside My faith is blank even though I know where my faith lies., I can’t seem to grasp it. I need help and want to feel complete, whole, peaceful and happy. But I don’t know how you just let it all go. To an extent, I feel like I am betraying the one I lost. Anyone have any specific insight?
Vincent says
M&A,
This is a lovely post to reference throughout the new year. I’m also enjoying the digital recording of your think better live better conference. Thank you for all the guidance and value you’ve brought into my life this past year.
Lillian G says
I would say #5. I am still here, believing in myself, being true to myself, I have gathered tools all my life and met the most wonderful people who are like earth angels. I am me and I need to use those tools to be in the present. Every morning! Sending love and light with hopes of a brighter year ahead.
Iyer NAGANATH SUBRAMANIAN says
Dear Marc and Angel,
So much positivity. A great entry in to the Ne w Year reading your beautiful article.
Wish you a Very Happy New Year and keep writing.
God bless you.
Hope says
I have followed you for years. In fact when my previous relationship ended in 2011, a friend sent me your site. Now, as an Oncology RN who has had yet another massively heartwrenching breakup during this pandemic I nearly lost it all. Had no desire to go on. Dealing with this breakup in a small place, being confined with the person who crushed me until July when he moved out (he sprung the breakup on me in January when i returned from a 4 day trip), losing so many patients and recently putting my pup to sleep, well, 2020 really took its toll. Had it not been for my daughter I would have been ok sleeping forever. I NEVER EVER thought I’d come out of this darkness. I look back now at the depth of pain and heartache and that first mantra – oh how truly I felt alone. He was cruel and unsupportive through this all. Not being able to see my family or have my friends near me, not feeling any human contact AND this… There are no words to describe how this year decimated me. There but for the grace of God and video chatting with family, I’ve moved forward. Each day I’ve made a few steps forward slowly, steadily. My advice to anyone feeling the deep despair of solitude, of a loveless situation, feelings of hopelessness ~ HOLD ON! Today I have met the man of my dreams who I could marry tomorrow if I could! As a first responder I pray everyone has a better and safer New Year!
MANDLA MKHIZE says
GOD BLESS YOU! STAY POSITIVE,STRONG AND LIVE LONGER.
Twisa says
Thank you for such a positive and powerful motivation for 2021. I am in love with your wisdom and thoughts.
For me Mantra 5 is the best magic to look forward always.
Mantra #5: You have enough to move forward.
What if you woke up tomorrow with only the things you were thankful for today?
Seriously, look around, and be thankful right now. For your health, your family, your friends, and your home. Nothing lasts forever.
And even in times of uncertainty—even when life seems far from perfect—it’s always important to keep the simple things in perspective.
You are alive.
You didn’t go to sleep hungry last night.
You didn’t go to sleep outside.
You had a choice of what clothes to wear this morning.
You haven’t spent a minute in fear for your life.
You know someone who loves you.
You have access to clean drinking water.
You have access to the Internet.
You can read.
Ruth Daniels says
Thank you for this. Mantra #5 You have enough to move forward. This is the one that resonates for me the most. The past 5 years has been full of change. Starting with a diagnosis of stage 3, colorectal cancer and a full year of treatment and 2 surgeries. I made it through that much to the surprise of my oncologist. Then came the realization that I was too old and broke to keep my house any longer. My house of 40+ years that I loved. So then I had to learn how to go about selling it and found a buyer much too soon as my house was full of stuff that needed to be gone through and gotten rid of or packed up to move. The buyer wanted me out as soon as possible. I had to hire a wonderful lady to help me as I didn’t have the strength or energy to do it myself. I gave away tons of stuff and threw away things that I am sure I wanted to keep. But I made the move date she wanted just a couple of weeks late. Now I live with a friend in a part of town that I never wanted to live in. The majority of my stuff that is left is in a storage unit and I don’t know where anything is. I need to move from here into my own place but the covid has kept me locked down for the most part. I also needed a 3rd surgery in March so 6 + weeks of healing for that as well as doctor visits and osteo nurse visits turned into phone calls. Then covid 19 lockdowns. I broke out in August and drove across the country to my sister’s 90th birthday party, stopping in OK to pick up my son to go with me. I enjoyed traveling and evidently so was the rest of the country. When I dropped my son off on the way back I got to see my granddaughter and her two sons and celebrated my 76th birthday with my son and his wife and son. Freedom!! Then drove back home to AZ and lock down again. Now I still need to find a place to live and figure out what to do with the rest of my stuff and what do I want to do now. How did I get to be this old? Thank you for some common sense talk. I will read you some more and maybe get the energy to move on now.