Be with those who bring out the best in you, not the stress in you.
This past Saturday, while Angel and I were enjoying a safe and peaceful backyard barbecue at our friend Sara’s house, her 16-year-old foster child, Cody, received an unexpected visit from his biological mother – a woman who has been in and out of prison and rehab her whole life. Although Sara was a bit hesitant about it, she let Cody and his mother talk privately on the front porch. We occasionally eavesdropped from the living room window just to make sure everything was okay.
Cody’s mother was extremely rough around the edges and almost immediately started bringing up hurtful memories from the past. About 20 minutes into the conversation, she told him, “I see your anger, and I just wish I could go back in time and raise you again, to change who you are and give you a better upbringing.” Sara was about to walk out onto the porch to interject when Cody calmly replied, “I’m not angry. I’m perfectly fine, thank you. I’m proud of who I am. Maybe you should go even further back in time and change who you are instead.” And then he walked his mother to the front steps of the porch and politely asked her to leave.
Cody’s response impressed me on so many levels. It takes a lot of courage, especially at 16 years of age, with a rough upbringing, to tactfully stand up for yourself. And he handled himself with grace.
So, whenever you’re dealing with a difficult or hostile person, remember how Cody handled himself. Take a stand! Set some boundaries! This is your life. You may not be able to control all the things people do to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them. You can decide not to let their actions and opinions invade your heart and mind. And above all, you can decide whom to walk beside into tomorrow, and whom to leave behind today.
It’s time to…
- Stop letting people drag you into needless arguments. – Never waste your time trying to explain yourself to people who have proven that they are committed to misunderstanding you. And don’t define your intelligence or self-worth by the number of arguments you have won, but by the number of times you have said, “This needless nonsense is not worth my time!” (Angel and I discuss this in detail in the “Boundaries & Expectations” chapter of our brand NEW book 1,000 Little Habits of Happy, Successful Relationships.)
- Stop letting people drown you with their negativity. – Positivity is a choice. Choose wisely. Be smart enough to walk away from the negativity around you. It is never worth your while, ever, to engage in senseless drama.
- Stop letting people make you feel ashamed of your scars. – Scars remind us that our past is real, and that we have grown beyond it. Every scar has a story. Don’t be afraid to tell it and own it.
- Stop listening to those who berate you for your honest mistakes. – To grow strong and wise, you must have the courage to make mistakes. Allow yourself to be a beginner. No one starts off being excellent.
- Stop letting others blind you from YOUR truth. – Today, the only person you should try to be better than is the person you were yesterday. Prove yourself to yourself, not others.
- Stop letting people bully you. – Bullying is not OK. Period. There is no freedom on Earth that gives someone the right to assault who you are as a person. Sadly, some people just won’t be happy until they’ve pushed your ego to the ground and stomped on it. What you have to do is have the nerve to stand your ground. Don’t give them any leeway. Nobody has the power to make you feel small unless you give them that power.
- Stop letting friends be untrue to you. – What is a true friend? Someone who loves you just the way you are, but still inspires you to be a better person. BE a true friend to others, and keep only true friends close to you.
- Stop letting the same people lie to you over and over again. – If someone fools you once, shame on them. If someone fools you twice, shame on you. If you catch someone lying to you, speak up. Some people will lie to you repeatedly in a vicious effort to get you to repeat their lies over and over until they effectively become true. Don’t partake in their nonsense. Don’t let their lies be your reality.
- Stop letting people take advantage of you. – Sometimes people don’t notice the things we do for them until we stop doing them. This is NOT right! Realize this. You deserve better. You deserve to be with people who make you smile – friends who don’t take you for granted – friends who won’t leave you hanging.
- Stop letting people treat you like a back-up plan. – Don’t settle to simply be someone’s downtime, spare time, part time, or sometime. If they can’t reliably be there for you when you need them most, they’re not worth your time.
- Stop letting the wrong people get between you and the right ones. – Don’t let the people who refuse to love you keep you from the people who do love you. Spend time with those who make your world a little brighter simply by being in it. Someday you will either regret not doing so, or you will say, “I’m glad I did.”
- Stop letting hateful people motivate you to hate them back. – As Gandhi once said, “An eye for an eye will only make the whole world blind.” Regardless of how despicable another has acted, never let hate build in your heart. Fighting hatred with hatred only hurts you more. When you decide to hate someone you automatically begin digging two graves: one for your enemy and one for yourself. (Read The Four Agreements.)
- Stop letting people leave grudges in your mind. – Remember, the first to apologize is the bravest. The first to forgive is the strongest. The first to move forward is the happiest. Always.
- Stop letting people use your past to poison your present. – Life is too short to tirelessly struggle with old news and those who refuse to let it go. Some people cannot stand that you’re moving on with your life and so they will try to drag your past to catch up with you. Do not help them by acknowledging their behavior. Keep moving forward. Practice acceptance and forgiveness. Letting go of the past is your first step to happiness.
- Stop letting people convince you that change is a bad thing. – The things we can’t change often end up changing us. This change happens for a reason. Roll with it. It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it in the end.
- Stop letting people steer you away from meaningful pursuits. – If you can smile when no one else is around, you really mean it. So don’t let other people get between you and the ideas and activities that truly move you.
- Stop letting people dump on your dreams. – Life will test you to see how serious you are about pursuing a particular path. And sooner or later you may face negative feedback from others. When this happens, remember not to let anyone crush your spirit. If you are passionate about something, pursue it, no matter what anyone else thinks. That’s how dreams are achieved.
- Stop letting naysayers talk you out of putting in the extra effort. – Hard times often lead to greatness. Keep the faith. It will be worth it in the end. The beginnings to great things are always the hardest.
- Stop letting people convince you of their quick-fix schemes. – Anything worth achieving takes time and dedicated effort. Period. Honestly, I used to believe that making wishes and saying prayers changed things, but now I know that wishes and prayers change us, and WE change things. (Angel and I discuss this in detail in the “Goals & Success” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)
- Stop letting people tell you that you need more to be happy. – Thankfulness is the start of happiness. Be sure to appreciate what you’ve got. Be thankful for the little things in life that mean a lot.
The floor is yours…
What would you add to the list? What’s one thing you will NOT let others do to you? Please leave a comment below and let us know.
Photo by: Neil Moralee
Susan Rae says
Thank you for another powerful post, Marc!
Although I’m sure Cody’s response was driven somewhat by adolescence rebellion, it does seem his biological mother showed up with a divisive attitude about “changing” who he is, etc., as if the adopted parents didn’t do a good enough job. He certainly handled himself fairly well considering his age and the circumstances.
Personally, I will NEVER let someone devalue what I VALUE in life. What I consider important may not be what others consider important and that’s fine. Just don’t let others ignorance about what is crucial to you cripple your thinking about what you hold important in your life. This means, people, animals, beliefs, a lifestyle, etc. (I know this is something you and Angel advocate in other articles and in your amazing books too.)
Marc Chernoff says
I appreciate your sentiment, Susan. Thank you for sharing.
Patrick Hardy says
Cheers to standing up to the rude and negative people around us, and smiling anyway!
This is such a wonderful blog, and an incredible post that seems so simple yet speaks volumes to those who are willing to listen. We are greater than anyone is able to predetermine! We are free to fly, live passionately and achieve greater goals than ever thought possible.
I stand firm in who I am and I honor, love, respect my mind, body, soul and heart. I will not allow another to control my state of well being! I am empowered because I know who I am and I am amazing! I love myself unconditionally and I know that I am human.
Live fully my friends! And cheers to little Cody, whom I agree handled the situation with grace, considering the dynamic.
Agreed, this is a great post! We need to be reminded of certain influences people can have on our spirits, minds and hearts. Especially when you are working toward being the best person you can be.
I have been having a difficult time setting boundaries with people in my life, and I appreciate the suggestions you make in your 1,000 Little Things book about setting and keeping healthy boundaries. And I would also love it if you dedicated a new article to this topic someday soon.
Ps. I just saw on your last post that you new book on relationships in releasing soon. So excited! Pre-ordered!
Marc Chernoff says
Great suggestion, thank you. And thanks for the kind feedback, too.
Johari MP says
Marc and Angel, as always, you guys rock. This is an awesome list! I have incorporated a number of these boundaries in my life over the past year through covid. Though, I ultimately had to let a LOT of people go, things have honestly never been better from a personal perspective with relationships. Total props to Cody btw!
Fabulous! I would add: Stop letting people tell you that you are not allowed to feel what you feel.
They are not you and have not been where you have been. They have no right to tell you that you are wrong for having the emotions that you have.
William Moore says
These lifestyle postings are spot on. I’ve been copying and pasting these columns for future inspiration. Somehow these articles are spot on with me in my situation now and in the past. Man oh man, did I let people put me down in the past but the past is past, over 40 years ago when i dumped a bunch of so called ‘friends’, some I knew since grade school simply ’cause they couldn’t or wouldn’t handle the fact I’m gay. To them it was a big joke and the joke’s on them. I’ve moved on, moved to a new city shortly thereafter and ‘am glad it’s in the past yet the only regret, not doing this sooner.. these lifestyle suggestions are so simple yet so profound and are timeless!
Ken [email protected] says
Great insight here, as always, Marc. I especially appreciated #s 16-18. Doing big things in a big way can cause some people with smaller lives and smaller characters to try sabotaging or belittling our attempts at stepping life up several notches. It is so important to get wonderful, supportive people in your corner. It really does make a huge difference.
Thank you for the reminders in your posts! My 12 year -old son has been through quite a lot in his short life and he loves when I forward your emails to him. He often comes to me days later, perhaps after processing what you’ve said, to talk about how applicable your words are to his life.
Your words assist in opening a healthy dialogue regarding hope, hurt, thankfulness, forgiveness, abandonment, self-worth, values, love, and so much more. Your words hold no judgement, which have allowed us to use what we need and make them our own mantras.
Thank you again for sharing your wisdom. And thank you for soothing a young boy’s frightened heart, so that he can feel the joys in life more abundantly, counting each passing day as a gift!
Marc Chernoff says
Beautiful! Thank you for sharing our articles with your family. It’s inspiring to hear how the information can be relatable to people of all ages. Tell your son we said Hi!
After 32 years of a friendship, I hit my threshold of pain back in august of 2019 and took space from a good friend who is extremely toxic. I have no desire to continue this friendship. I am happy, calm and enjoying my life.
This is a great article–it reinforces much of what I’ve learned from the my personal experience.
I’ve had a similar experience. Walked away from a very long time relationship with a friend whom I was growing more and more uncomfortable with over the years. I realize many people value “history” in a friendship and try to preserve it based on the past, however for me, I’d rather be without that person in my life than feel uncomfortable so often by their words and actions. Its often a difficult and lonely road but peace of mind is well worth it.
Ando Mierzwa says
Thank you! A great list of self-defense tips for the mind and spirit. I would add:
Don’t let anyone convince you what you create is less valuable than what others create.
Everything we see, hear, and use started out as an idea. Even the best ideas were mocked and challenged before proving themselves.
So, let your ideas flow and protect them from ridicule. Your ideas may or may not work out, but they should at least have a chance to grow.
Great post to start off the week!
I would add, “Stop allowing others to guilt you into doing things or being who you are not.” Guilt, if you allow it, will eat you up and exhaust you. Avoid the trap of people who like to put ‘guilt trips’ on you. It’s draining. Do what’s best for you. If you want to help someone, great. If you can’t, then don’t. Get rid of guilt once and for all!
Great post and very complete. Thank you! So glad I signed up for you emails after a loved one gifted me your 1,000 Little Things book for Christmas.
To answer your question: This is likely a sub-category, and an issue I have faced in the past with several family members … Don’t allow yourself to get caught up in the drama created by others . This is their attempt to pull you into their own web of issues and divert you from your path.
Nancy G says
“Never waste your time trying to explain yourself to people who have proven that they are committed to misunderstanding you.” Thank you for that. I have a sister who tries to bait me into arguments about religion and politics, and who judges me because I don’t believe the way she does. I was about to fire back, I will walk away instead. No one ever changes anyone’s mind by arguing.
Sandy Peckinpah says
This list is thought provoking. I could think of so many instances where I had been affected by most of them. I also would like to add that one family member who uses sarcasm to provoke always answers with “you’re too sensitive. That was funny.” To number 6 “don’t let people bully you” I’d like to add, hold them accountable for their behavior and don’t let them try to convince you that it’s “you” that’s hearing it wrong.
Silouan Green says
Great post. I work with sufferers of PTSD and many are involved in manipulative relationships that have brutal triggers for their condition. Sometimes this manipulation can be subtle. This is great practical advice on taking control of life, whatever your situation.
I usually do not react to the posts ,nevertheless I always appreciate them a lot. As far as today, once again, by “ miracle?” Or coincidence.. this one falls in the middle!
Everything seems so easy when Marc and Angel write them down!
But always complete, precise and very helpful to boost our- my- way of life.
Very difficult as far as getting away from toxic brothers and sisters..
It is a daily work to get rid of repeated sayings that ruin energy and peace…
But I work at it, thanks for your recurring support! It is a healthy help for my way to happiness and in-peace!
I just prayed last night for God to help me deal with my overbearing husband and here is this article. Such great advice! Doesn’t solve all my problems, but does give me some healthy perspective right now that I need. Answered my prayer inn many ways. Thank you.
Will definitely share with my adult daughter. She is a strong person but has some people in her life who try to do many of these things to her. I also need the reminder to let it go when all I want to do is defend her knowing it would be a waste of my time and breath and would not help her but it’s very hard not to sometimes. Guess we can both benefit from the ideas in this post.
Dave Nordella says
How fortunate Cody is to live in an environment where he learned skills that will make him a happy person in spite of his rough start. His physical mother would be well advised to listen to her son’s counsel. She could be happy too instead of wasting time blaming people or her circumstances for her misery.
Cory already knows that a happy person gives love freely and accepts it as well. He is politely but pointedly telling his physical mother how love comes from loving yourself first. It is up to her whether she learns the lesson.
Sara has made the world a better place by teaching love, rather than recrimination. She is a remarkable person and an inspiration to me.
You have remarkable friends because you live the life that you model. Thank you for extending your friendship so freely through your blog. Maybe it could go without saying (but I won’t let it); you and Angel are making this world a whole lot better for your readers.
PS. I see you have a new Relationships book coming out soon! Congrats and per-ordered!
Cody is my new hero, and I don’t even know him. I’m more than twice his age and I’m still mastering the art of calmly dismissing a similarly toxic relative the way he did so adeptly. Well done, Cody!
I really like your columns and have learned a great deal from them. They are very uplifting and encouraging. My toxic, bully is my husband of 26 years and I am having a hard time cutting the cord, so to speak. What I need is the courage to do what NEEDS to be done and say what NEEDS to be said.
Thank you so much. This post could have been written especially for me, especially today. In a big way, you have saved my sanity today…
I like the suggestions. One thing that slightly bothers me about what Cody said to his mother is the possibility that she was trying…it appears…to apologize. It doesn’t sound like she was purposely being disrespectful to his current parents…only that she felt bad or remorseful about her past. Maybe it would have been good for him to have listened. Then he could have forgiven her and then told her that he came out fine, etc. Forgiveness…it’s the way to go…for the one being forgiven and the one forgiving.
I think you need to know more about the relationship between Cody and his mom before you can really judge his reaction to her bringing up the painful past. And look what she said; she said she wanted to change Cody, “I wish I could go back in time and raise you again, to change who you are and give you a better upbringing”, like there was something wrong with him. And he simply replied, “I’m perfectly fine, thank you. I’m proud of who I am. Maybe you should go farther back in time and change who you are instead.” He was speaking up for himself. Too often, victims of abuse are taught to always feel sorry for the abuser; she said a downer thing to him. Why didn’t she say, “You’re looking good Cody” or if she was sorry just, “I’m sorry I wasn’t a good mom to you”. She needs to work on herself and not drag Cody into her misery. Cody shouldn’t have to feel guilty or ashamed for having a good life with a supportive foster family because his biological mom is having problems. She needs prayers and so does Cody but he does not need to be constantly reminded of the painful past and his mother’s problems.
No. I think he handled it properly. He could’ve left out the jab at her but he’s sixteen. I hope new mom counseled him in that.
She wasn’t apologizing. She was judging. She framed it in a way that appeared to make herself accountable but that was framing not real accountability. She was saying he was broken and it’s her fault but she’s still saying he’s broken. He distilled that masterfully. Some people never figure that kind of thing out. That’s how abusers succeed and successfully break down your confidence till you absolutely are dysfunctional without them.
Great job kid
What? She said she wished she could give him a better upbringing and change who he is! That’s SELFISH and is a very sad thing to hear from your own mother. In essence, he wasn’t “good enough” apparently, in her eyes.
As a mother you should take responsibility and blame yourself if you see something I your child that you didn’t approve, because people learn from their parents and most of the time will mimic what you do. You are their role model and eventually they will take on good traits or bad traits . What she should of said is that I wish I was a better role model for you, but I see you have turned in to a fine person, or I wish I would have done this, a different way so that you would have done this differently. This is not to say that it is always the parents fault for kids actions, but you are their role model in life and they will do at least one thing or take on one personality that they have seen from their guardians or parents.
The point I would add is to stop letting people blackmail you by withdrawing their “love” when they don’t get their way; then returning it when they do. Manipulation of this type has nothing to do with love – it’s about the fantasy of gaining external power over others and it sucks to be used in this way.
Sounds like Cody is well on his way to being his own person… kudos to him for knowing what’s in his own best interests.
My addition is to stop letting others dictate your decisions through money. Get out of debit and live below your means.
My goal is to put the past behind me and do the work it takes to achieve financial peace of mind.
Ps. Looking forward to you new book on relationships. I bet it will tie in nicely to many of the points here.
WOW!! This truly hit home for me and I was meant to read it today.
I decided to not allow an ex-boyfriend of mine to continuously bring up my mistakes. Even though we agreed to be in a platonic relationship, he is the one who keeps talking about my past and he can not let it go. I apologized for my actions and moved on but obviously he hasn’t and I can not allow myself to bring his negative spirit into my atmosphere.
Thank you Marc and Angel for reminding me that I truly have made the right decision to not allow him back into my life.
I love this post! Keep up the good…no…great work!
Stop letting people insult you indirectly and not call them on it because you are unsure they are talking about you. You know the type, they tell you a story about someone else that sucks, wanting you to internalize it and apply it to your life. They are cowards and they are trying to put you down and make you feel like less than you are, but doing it in a context where they can deny what they are doing. If you do call them on it, they will say you are mistaken, judgmental, insecure, or my favorite, crazy. They are master manipulators and they expect to get away with their indirect put downs.
Cody’s response was outstanding, he must be an awesome young man!!!
Miranda Rocca-Circelli says
As a parent, it is always a challenge to raise your children in the best way you know how. Our innate methodology is to raise them the way we were raised, but this is not entirely the best approach, depending on how we were raised, of course. We need to allow our children to live through their own creation of experiences and not through ours, this again presents a challenge especially when we are thinking in our heads…I know best! Our parenting skills are also challenged by whatever current circumstances we find ourselves in. Much like cody’s mother, she was in a circumstance that she ultimately chose (consciously or not), that obviously affected her parenting skills. When we are dampened by lifes events, it ultimately affects our parenting ways. Using your highlighted approach can definitely aid in making better choices on how these events affect us. If we choose to not allow them to affect us, and have acquired behaviours that allow us to choose otherwise, we can instil such behaviours in our children providing them with the building blocks and conditioning they need to become all that they can be throughout their journeys as well.
Angie Atkinson says
These are each really important if we ever hope to become truly happy, and I’ve been lucky enough to master many of them. But the first one you mentioned, about being drawn into useless arguments…it really hit home for me. Through covid, in closer quarters, I’ve been struggling with some negative people who I love dearly….but it’s tough to stay positive when they take out their negativity in someone they trust (me) and when it almost seems that they need to break me in order to relieve themselves. Like a major narcissistic thing, I think.
At the very least, this post provides some healthy reminders for me right now!! Thank you. 🙂
These are really wonderful things to remember, and equally strong comments. Let them sink in.
I can say from experience change IS possible. Changing the way one thinks, the way *I* think takes time, and it will take practice. I have to remind myself to reframe my thoughts and my initial reactions to people and situations. It gets easier, and it has become more ‘automatic’, more innate, and yes, there are still times I revert to my old ways of thinking, until I catch myself, and I start again. The cool thing for me, is that I accept that that is part of my process, and I don’t very often at all feel badly about reminding myself of how I want to be.
Joyce Hubble says
Great post! Many of the does and don’t you mention are addressed in a book call “Boundaries” by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend. Many people mistake where their boundaries end and someone else’s boundaries begin. Your blog helps to reinforce those lines. Thank you
I will not let others change what the facts are and what all they have said, I’m not wrong and I will stand up for myself.
Thanks for the extra reading recommendations.
Gillian Knebel says
Thanks, these are such good reminders – I will pin them up somewhere I can see them. Most especially as I let myself be upset by a couple of snide and most possibly unconscious comments made about me the other day – hanging on to them made me feel bad. A couple of seconds of words and a couple of days me feeling lousy.
There’s a time to stand up and be counted and a time to walk away, whether this is mentally, spiritually, emotionally or physically – methinks this takes practice, which includes making mistakes, to know which path to take at any given juncture.
Mary Ann says
Sometimes the only way to stop the relentless attacks of a person is to distance yourself from them. I have a close relative that makes me a target as soon as I see her – her verbal attacks begin in a subtle way and then escalate to where it’s fairly obvious and uncomfortable for everyone. I’ve learned over the years to just limit my exposure to her (but unfortunately, to others I want to be with) because nothing else works. Her need to be superior is her ongoing pursuit in life. Love these posts because they validate how I feel and give positive direction.
Thank you for your continuous, thoughtful, and thought provoking pieces. This was excellent. While I don’t think most people are truly “mean”, I do think bits and pieces of mean energy get scattered all around us daily from lots of people in our lives. It may not be as obvious who these negative energy scatterers are- but we own the right to protect our happiness and cultivate our future. Therefore it is wise to recognize the patterns and take action to free ourselves from those types of negativities. Be impeccable with your word and don’t take anything personally— a constant lesson in session in my life.
Took me a long time to work up the courage to stop doing some of these. I’d like to add Stop Trying to Fix Others. We cannot live the life of others and we cannot force them to make decisions that may seem obvious to us. Each person interprets things differently and we simply need to decide if WE can live with their decisions or let them go.
Well written and definitely validates my feelings. Please keep this post up for others seeking guidance in finding themselves. I know that by re-reading these words, it will help others like myself stay grounded to our beliefs. I hate to see good-natured people being poisoned and driven mentally deranged by toxic family members/friends through covid lockdowns, etc. To everyone here, you are not alone! Stay strong, love yourself, and when you do find yourself–PLEASE help save others who you see are fighting that same battle. Don’t let this world become one run by toxic individuals.
Thank You so much!!!
Please anyone out there who is going through a rough time this is a great blog.
I have been reading your blog for several months. Husband in the midst of a Midlife Crisis and he is struggling, I want to work it out with him. We have 5 children. It has been very hard because of course its all my fault. We have been doing the “eye for an eye” for about a year now which accomplished nothing but hurt feelings.
The other day, he said “We will NEVER make it if YOU don’t change” I said very calmly, “I like who I am, I have changed enough.” I Love You and hope that you can love me for who I am.
For the past year, I lost 65 pounds because he said I was too fat only for him to now say I am too skinny. He wanted me to be “more athletic” so I started going to the gym and now I “must be having an affair”. He has zero transparency, locked phone, computer, etc only for me to be “hiding” something.
I am letting go so much better now than before. I used to argue about all of it now, I just ignore it. He wants to go through my phone every other day, let him. I used to believe him that all of his problems are my fault. Its so freeing to not give him that power.
I hope we make it for not only the kids but for us too. Midlife Crisis is real and I know the man I married is still inside him. However, he has to come to terms with his own problems. I realize that.
Marc Chernoff says
Thank you for sharing a piece of your story with us, Rhonda. I know your situation isn’t easy, but it does sound like you’re on the right track. Surely, you can’t change his behavior, but you can continue to be your best, collect data as it relates to his behavior, and make good decisions going forward. Please let us know if you need further assistance, coaching, etc. We’re here for you.
David McKee says
Thank you for this. In the daily ebb and tide of life’s challenging moments, this came at a good time this morning. Clear reminders helping me to think more clearly, a little bit each day.
Susan Larm says
I will not let people tell me my lifestyle is not right. If it works for me and doesn’t hurt anyone, then it’s ok. Change is good so if I need to make adjustments, I will embrace new adventures as they appear. Love the life you’ve chosen
Wonderful reminders to start my day. Thank you for your continued care. x
Carole Doherty says
This was just what I needed to read today. I have been working on standing up for myself with grace and it isn’t always easy, but it sure does feel wonderful and is empowering. I am on the path to doing it better and better.
Thank you for this meaningful post.
Thank you! This post was very much needed. I’ve been struggling with some of my family members falling into many of situations you mentioned above, but even Cody’s story reminded me that just because of blood shared- it does not always equal a healthy relationship. This gave me even more confidence to honor myself, thanks again!
Powerful message! Thank you! The timing of it was perfect. It feels like I’m always having to explain a decision. Why is No not an ok answer when you choose to not attend things….point in case….class reunions. Ugh. Total old world drama I prefer not to be a part of. It would be nice to see some people, but who needs to be treated like you never left your teen years, or that you haven’t grown beyond mistakes or decisions that got you to where you are. Always always questions and judgement. Actually namely gossip you just hear and wonder what they say about you when you walk away.
I get annoyed when my sister in law tells me how to look after my own mother & I never do what she asks. I have had amental breakdown & I can’t run myself ragged as who would look after me no one