Saying yes to happiness means learning to say no to the desires that drain you.
They say a person needs just three things to be truly happy in this world: someone to love, something to do, and something to hope for. I don’t think anything could be closer to the truth, and yet all too often we find ways of complicating things for ourselves. We look for happiness where it does not exist – in shallow goals and desires – in possessions, quick thrills, and impressing the wrong people.
Angel and I were recently reminded of this when we met a family of six staying at a hotel in near our home. We saw them hanging around outside the lobby, sharing stories and laughing hysterically. As we walked by, Angel and I said hello to them and asked where they were from. “Oh, we’re from here,” the mother said. “Our house burned down to the ground yesterday, but miraculously, all of us made it out safely. And that makes today a day worth smiling about.”
Talk about a wake-up call. Some people might say they had lost everything, and yet this family knew better – they knew they had it all. Because there really is nothing like joyful tears and deep breaths after a long, hard laugh with the people you love – nothing in the whole world like a sore stomach for the right reasons and a grateful heart to back it up. That’s a situation where true happiness is surely found.
And there are many other sources of true happiness as well. But as I’ve said, there are also lots of common traps – goals and desires that we think will bring us happiness, but actually do the exact opposite. Recognizing these traps is the key. In fact, I believe one of the best feelings comes when you realize that you can be perfectly happy without the things you once thought you needed.
With this in mind, consider the ten goals and desires (traps) below and how they may be holding you back. Each of them is popular in our culture, and thus common in our lives, but rather than contributing to our happiness, they rob us of it.
So say it out loud with me:
“To be happier, I do NOT need…”
- To please everyone – Be careful not to give so much of yourself to others that you end up completely losing yourself. When you go around pleasing everyone but yourself, you are the one that gets hurt in the end. The late and great Herbert Bayard Swope said it like this: “I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.” That is spot on advice if you ask me. Because truthfully, you are never going to please everyone anyway. At some point you will hold an unpopular opinion – one that gives you meaning and makes you feel alive. And when you do, you ought to hold on tight, tune out the noise, and make it count.
- Everything to be easy – You have to do hard things to be happy in life. The things no one else is doing. The things that frighten you. The things others can’t do for you. The things that make you question how much longer you can hold on and push forward. Because those are the things that define you. Those are the things that make the difference between existing and living – between knowing the path and walking the path – between a life of mediocrity and a life filled with happiness and success.
- Certainty and guarantees – Some people build too many walls in their lives and not enough bridges. It sounds crazy, but they would rather be certain they’re miserable, than risk being happy. Don’t be one of them. Open yourself up. Take chances. Run free. To accomplish amazing things, you must not only act, but also dream, not only plan, but also believe. Be a dreamer, a believer, and a courageous and cheerful thinker. Be a positive motivator, a productive doer, and a go-getter who keeps her head in the clouds and her feet on the ground. Let the spirit of passion and possibility ignite a fire within you to do something worthwhile today and every day, and don’t forget to spread your enthusiasm to those around you. (Read Daring Greatly.)
- To be better than others – The size of our universe shrinks dramatically when we place ourselves at the center – when we think everyone is our competition – when we think we have to be richer, smarter, and more attractive than the person sitting next to us. Such a goal just keeps a person alienated and tirelessly running in place. Now, on the flip-side, take someone who doesn’t keep score, who’s not looking to be richer, or smarter, or more attractive, who has not the slightest interest even in being better than anyone else: she’s free. Bottom line: Compete with yourself only.
- More control over everything and everyone – Sometimes we put too much interest into trying to control every tiny aspect of our lives. Learn to relax and ride the path that life takes you sometimes. Incredible change will happen in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you do not. Freeing yourself from trying to control the insignificant and uncontrollable things lets you experience more of the goodness around you. In fact, the greatest joys are often the unexpected surprises that arrive when you are flexible and open to life’s twists and turns.
- Immense moments of glory – Graduations, wedding days, lavish vacations – these times are often fun-filled and deeply celebrated, but these times pass, because time passes. This is something we rarely grasp at first. True, lasting happiness is found in the appreciation of all the small things. For me, there are random moments – tossing a salad, coming up the driveway to our home, ironing the seams flat on a dress shirt, standing at the kitchen window and looking out at the sun rising over the Austin skyline, hearing a giggle from my son who’s playing in the other room – when I feel a wavelike rush of joy. This is my true happiness: arbitrary moments of sudden, throbbing appreciation for a life I feel privileged to lead. (Angel and I discuss this in more detail in the “Simplicity” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)
- Other people to constantly validate me – Relationships are essential, but happiness originates from within. It is not exclusively dependent on external validation or on other people. You become vulnerable and can be easily hurt when your feelings of security and happiness depend entirely on the behavior and actions of others. Keep this in mind. Never give all your power to anyone else. Until you make complete peace with who you are, you’ll never be content with what you have or who you’re with. Learn to love and respect yourself first, before loving the idea of other people loving and respecting you.
- Perfect harmony in all relationships at all times – Harmony in relationships is nice when it’s sincere, but too often we try to fake it. Effective communication is king. You have to talk it out sometimes. After all, the only way to be happy in life is to live with integrity. This means: Not settling for less than what you know you deserve in your relationships. Being clear and asking for what you want and need from others. Speaking your truth, even though it might create occasional tension. Behaving in ways that are in agreement with your personal values. Making choices based on what you believe, and not just what others believe. (Angel and I discuss this in more detail in the “Boundaries & Expectations” chapter of our BRAND NEW BOOK, 1,000 Little Habits of Happy, Successful Relationships.)
- A superior time and place – The reason many people find it so hard to be happy is that they always see the past better than it was, the present worse than it is, and the future less resolved than it will be. The key, of course, is to do the opposite. Appreciate your past without reliving it, handle your present with confidence, and face your future without fear. Life is simply too short to spend at war with yourself. Letting go of the past and future is your first step to happiness and peace in the present. Realize that you are today where your thoughts and actions have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts and actions today take you. Bottom line: You can’t stop the future. You can’t rewind the past. The only way to live is to press play, and dance.
- Happiness 24/7 – Absolutely no one is happy all of the time. Because you simply can’t be happy unless you’re unhappy sometimes. This is a harsh truth, I know. Just keep in mind that it’s perfectly normal to experience considerable fluctuations in your level of happiness from day to day, month to month, and even year to year. Believing and expecting otherwise will only lead to disillusionment. But even when life is less than blissful, you are still in charge of how you respond. Choose positivity, always. The greatest act of faith some days is to simply get up and face the day, with a smile.
And let me leave you with this to think about: According to a recent scientific study published in the Journal of Research in Personality, overall levels of happiness decline from one’s teens until one’s 40s and then pick up again until they peak in one’s early 70s. So the chances are that your happiest days are yet to come. Hopefully that gives you something to smile about today.
Just keep doing your best by taking life moment by moment, complaining very little, and being grateful for the little things that mean a lot.
So, which of the points in this post do you resonate with the most? What do you sometimes forget you do NOT need to be happier in life? Leave a comment below and share your thoughts and insights.
Photo by: SuperDewa
As always, such sound reminders – advice I know but forget to follow. This is why I read one page of your book every morning – to keep the right ideas at the top of my mind for quick retrieval when I need them.
And to answer your question, more than anything else I often forget that I don’t need any more than what I have to be happy right now. Because it’s not what we have, but what we think about what we have that counts.
Marc Chernoff says
Thanks for mentioning our book (which one?), Dev. 🙂 And I love your sentiment.
This post made me think of a recent observation that my husband and I made. A new subscription to Netfix has enabled us to enjoy some TV shows that we would likely never have watched in a weekly series format. One thing that stood out in the British series is that the stars are not necessarily beautiful, in the American sense. They are quite ordinary in face and figure yet they still manage to have exciting work and romantic lives. It is very refreshing.
In other words, I’m guilty of forgetting that I don’t have to live up to societies shallow expectations of me… to be happier, beautiful, etc.
Marc Chernoff says
Great perspective about the “air-brushed” nature of our media. Thank you for the reminder.
Valencia Ray, MD says
Thank you for this! When the world feels like it is falling on top of you, you have to remember the blessings you do have! I sometimes forget this, but you’re helping me remember. And I’m happier for it.
Pique Dan says
A superior time and place. This is the one I am concerned about. I have been trying to live in the moment for many days.
Remember when we were kids we always lived in the present and a day was so long, a week was too long to wait and a month was unimaginable.We just had more time. But now we are always living in our past or future and there maybe a scientific reason that we feel time going faster but it is also because we are not grabbing the moments and living. All the time I am imagining and …
The worst part is that I live more in the present than most people. Most people are unaware of this.
You can’t stop the future and you can’t change the past.
Marc and Angel, thank you I am happier because I read this post, your emails, and and all the comments people have left on this site for the past 10 years or so. Thanks 100 million times over! I appreciate you all: Mac, Marc, Angel and everyone on this site. Thanks a lot. Love from Nigeria.
My husband just passed away suddenly and my life ended… I am frightened, disorganized, am procrastinating and fearful most of the time. On the other hand, I am a hell of a woman (and he told me that all the time), and know that it will get better. You are helping me to take the steps forward.
I am so sorry for the sudden loss of your beloved husband. I love that he left you with words to remind you that you are, indeed, a hell of a woman. As you said, it will get better, but you have to get there in baby steps and in your own time. Like you, I have found it is great help and comfort to have resources like this to help along the way. Take care…
Marc Chernoff says
Blessings and prayers to you. Yes, YOU ARE STRONG and WISE!
I am in exactly the same situation and my husband also told me the same as yours. The only thing I know is I have to carry on for his belief in me if for nothing else and I WILL. WE BOTH WILL
Anne Johnson says
Lexie, I am so sorry for your loss. I, too, just lost my husband unexpectedly in February. There I days I don’t feel the ground under my feet. My axis is totally off center. This post strongly resonates with me and I will work towards many of them on a daily basis. Each day I say to myself “One foot in front of the other”. I wish you healing and peace…..we will get there, I truly believe. I will keep you in my prayers. -Anne
Patricia Biesen says
I get a lot of self-helpy style emails but I always take the time to read your emails as there is always valuable information there. Love your style. Great reminders here.
andy sykes says
I love receiving your emails and blog posts via email. I have read your them for years, and they are always a beautiful moment in my day.
Jenny Bender says
A friend shared this with me because of a comment I made to her about practicing gratitude to combat my blues. I’m in the middle of breast cancer treatment and have found that practicing gratitude has buoyed me, has left me feeling incredibly lucky when I could easily feel sorry for myself instead. The story of the family whose house burned down, along with your list of what we DON’T need to be happy, is a beautiful reminder that life is all about perspective; and that oftentimes, I (we) can choose to be happy. Thank you for helping to spread this perspective!
As you get older you realize that you do have to put yourself first. It’s somewhat a full circle as you go through life.
I had a cancer scare 18 months ago and I will never forget how that made me feel, walking out of the doctors office and thinking “wow… what if the test results come back positive?” My entire world changed. My entire outlook changed. Everything changed. The sudden feeling of that I may not even be here next year was such a shock. I still feel it now, but then as time goes on, you get back into the day to day, and sometimes do again take life for granted, so I’m very conscious of always trying to put myself back into that week and remember how I felt.
To add to this list, I would certainly say that in this day and age, the idea of money as a solution to all your woes is probably one of the most common misconceptions on needing it to be happier in life. Our whole economic system and even culture is set up so you almost have to be part of the system in order to exist within society, whereas at the same time I don’t think its the actual reality of being poor in the lack of money sense that worries people, but more the underlying stigma of having little or no money. We as humans put so much emphasis on finding enjoyment and satisfaction from acquiring objects and experiences that need money. The greater the money you have, the greater the objects and experiences you can acquire. Take that ability to acquire such things away and we tend to see suddenly our complete path of happiness and fulfillment gone.
Marc Chernoff says
I love your sentiment! Thank you for sharing part of your story with us. And thank you for reaching out to others here too.
And to Lexie who commented above:
I’m so sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine how you must be feeling. When something as tragic as that happens so suddenly, it very easy to think what else could suddenly happen that’s far beyond our control. I had a similar very unexpected life changing moment when someone left my life and even two years on, although I am getting stronger and stronger every day, I do still wake up wondering what sudden shock life will have in store for me. You sort of think “whats going to happen next?” And that’s a hard thing to have in your life as it can make you very anxious and fearful of the future. But it does get better, I promise.
So true! I have 9 siblings and we grew up on a produce farm where we worked in the fields and at the farmer’s market starting at age 5. Being out in nature so much was the best gift a kid could have. Learning responsibility and a work ethic were priceless. I married young (17 and pregnant) and was mom to 4 girls by age 22. We didn’t have much but we did have a lot of laughter and joy. We’ve been married for 43 years and have 3 awesome grandkids. We have a lovely life with more than we need. Yet I remain a very simple person who doesn’t need anything material to be happy. In fact, I gave away my car 4 years ago to my granddaughter who needed one for work. I never replaced it because I don’t need one. Not sure about being happier after 40 because I’ve always been happy. Although I’ve read the research as well. Thanks for another great one!!
Marc Chernoff says
Thanks for sharing a piece of your story. Angel and I are very much the same way when it comes to minimalism. Although it’s not something we discuss on a regular basis, we’re a one car family with no TV, and we are 100% focused on creating happiness through simple experiences, not materialism. 🙂 And wow!!! Four children before you turned 22? How did you manage? Our one bundle of joy is a loving handful right now.
Greta post, and I love the poem, Desiderata, too. It spoke to me in my youth when I was in middle school…and specifically the sentence:
“Do not compare yourselves with others for you will become vain and bitter. For always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.”
Again, I was in middle school, a time in life when that’s all you’re doing..comparing yourself to others. I am sharing this because that poem has served me well in life, as each decade a different passage seems to speak to where I am on my journey.
Thanks for starting my day off with thoughtful, sage seeds which I plant and water throughout the day.
i think that life is a mixture of many things, and to focus on happiness and nothing else etc will leave us disillusioned because that is not how it really is, life is very hard, sometimes we over think over analyze to the point is all becomes mush. Learn to love and respect yourself first, if we get that right i think a lot will follow on, and not giving others power over your life, be responsible for yourself too, this has really helped me today to put some things in place.
To lexie: Oh sweetheart my heart really aches for you. Words are so good at times and others they make things worse, i wish i could give you a massive cuddle sadly hurt and sorrow come to us all and there is no way to avoid them, be who you are and take one day at a time, tears are for release, and being scared and upset are “very” normal when dealing with bereavement. My love goes out to you.
Thanks Marc and Angel – you’re a blessing
love Jacqueline xxx
Aaron Thomas says
“A superior time and place – The reason many people find it so hard to be happy is that they always see the past better than it was, the present worse than it is, and the future less resolved than it will be. They key, of course, is to do the opposite.” — That really resonated with me! I recommend reading Pulling Your Own Strings by Wayne Dyer. 🙂
Jane Zimmerman says
Your Erroneous Zones by Dr Wayne Dyer changed my life! Many years ago but absolutely, and I read many more of his books as well, including Pulling Your Own Strings. He was a brilliant man. If you haven’t yet read it I would like to recommend Wishes Fulfilled. It also was a life changer, much more recently. (I also recommend the audio CD “I Am” to accompany the book.) I wish you happiness.
Lindy Allen says
Having our only child pass over almost 5 years ago, is something that I will never “get over” or want to “get over”…..the grief I feel is sharper at holiday times (Easter coming up)….I look at life so differently……my greatest joy right now is watching my feeders outside…..My “pets” are 8 gray squirrels, 3 black squirrels, numerous chickadees, cardinals,redwing blackbirds, goldfinches, etc.!!
Stephanie D. says
A little over a year ago my boyfriend, 42 had a massive stroke. I have spent the time since then helping him through every single bit of his recovery. My family and friends wonder why I do it and seem to think I’m unhappy. At times, in many moments I have been unhappy. It is a very sad situation. But, I have also found great strength and have met challenges I never would have thought possible. And I’m only the one helping. In actuality, I am quite happy. I’m sad for him and for the future we had started planning together but at the same time, I am proud of him for all that he has accomplished and I am also proud of me for being able to stand by him and face challenges head on. It makes me very happy when I think about the ways my life has evolved due to his health crisis. I now have started doing what I can to learn about brain injury, advocate for others and search for ways to assist the brain injured in any way I can. In the early days, your blog kept me going, I am truly grateful to you for that.
One of the most profound statements ever to grace my ears was from a man who’s wife had been diagnosed with a rapid onset dementia. He was her caregiver and had already spent several months lovingly seeing to her every need. One day she asked him if he was tired of doing so much for her. “Tired IN it, not tired OF it,” was his reply.
Thank you for another awesome reminder of what you don’t need to be happy. I learned long ago about giving too much of myself away… to please other people… because most of them are usually only there to use you, but are not there for You when you need them. I found out who and what was really important in my life when I went thru advanced breast cancer and losing my business as a result. It changed my life in so many wonderful ways and I don’t regret a moment of the pain I endured to get to where I am now. My wonderful husband,of 42 years, and my children showed me that I was worth more than any of the “money or things” that we had. I was determined to LIVE… to see my future grandchildren and fully “live” life.
It’s funny…We started out with very little, and lived very simply… without a lot of “things” so that I could stay home and raise my kids. It was one of my best decisions…I was there to be IN all the important moments of our lives. And now due to my illness, our financial loses and my husbands forced retirement due to disability….we are back to living very simply again… and Loving most every minute of it. Especially the birth of my granddaughter and reliving all the most joyful moments of my children’s lives again thru my grandchild. That is truly what being a grandparent is all about. It’s been the most wonderful 2 years…even though we have going thru a hard time dealing with my husbands disability and financial problems. I know this is only temporary and that these problems will pass.
I wouldn’t trade my life for all the money or things in the world. “Love is all you need.”
May the spirit of the universe bless and heal all who want it.
Again, Thank you Marc and Angel… you bring light to my troubled times and remind me to keep going.
Captain Kirk says
Marc and Angel…
Again, thank you for the practical reminders and your inspiring article.
One comment on feature number 4.
– To be better than others
Coincidentally, the background on my laptop screen today features a “daily quote” that complements your message.
“Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else”.
— Judy Garland
We must celebrate our personal identity, personal voice, and unique place in this universe!
Be YOURSELF…everyone else is already taken!
Captain Kirk says
1. “To please everyone – Be careful not to give so much of yourself to others that you end up completely losing yourself…”
This feature of your post describes my personal experience. For many years, my wife has suffered from chronic health issues (physical and mental health).
During our many years together, I accepted the role of caregiver, and eventually, after many exhausting years of serving as her champion, I finally realized that I gave my wife…and children…(one girl, and two boys) MOST of my oxygen!
Following some personal, humbling and life-altering counseling, I experienced a painful reality check! Yes, I was generously giving most of my fuel (oxygen) to my family. Consequently, my oxygen level was on EMPTY! And I lost MYSELF in our world of drama and trauma….and unplugged from a a healthy power source.
After this reality check, I made some significant, life-enriching changes in my lifestyle to refill MY oxygen tank! Consequently, my family fuel – and personal fuel tanks – our refilled when needed, and I have found a NEW sense of BALANCE in life, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
I continue to devote my life to my wife and children, and reserve more oxygen for myself. And the best news is that my wife’s health and quality of life is improving.
As a friendly word of caution to everyone in our community, Please remember to refill YOUR OWN oxygen tank….to enjoy YOUR “flight of life”.
Dianne Nicole says
Points 3 to 5 really felt they were written for me. Oh how these ones have deceived me time and again so I will repeat…
To be happier, I do NOT need:
Certainty and guarantees
To be better than others
More control over everything and everyone
I am most happy when I’m lost in a slow moment – watering the garden, bugs buzzing in the sunset, a humming bird hovering nearby. Too often, we think we need to chase excitement, but adrenaline is not the same thing as happy. A tranquil mind that is receptive to pleasure lead to much more happiness, IMO. 🙂
Absolutely Tara says
I love overcoming challenges and working hard, and I find that I’m constantly having to fight the thought that I’m aiming for the easy life. A large part of this is that my husband is a creative and to him, being able to enjoy creating freely (which means ridding himself of obligations) would be bliss. Recently I’ve had to take a stand for my personality. I’m not striving for easy, I’m striving for expressing myself, through whatever means.
Thanks for sharing.
Marc & Angel,
Your personal emails and posts have helped me to deal with my on going self doubting thoughts.
I find myself worrying a lot trying to find happiness from others rather within. I under estimate and criticize myself quite often. I am always worrying about my relationship with my co-workers, my family and avoid being in a committed relationship. No matter how hard I try I seem to have too many sad days. I just keep asking myself, what’s wrong with me. And always expect the worst thing to happen.
I continue to hope for a better day/month, even years ahead when reading your post. 🙂
Ejike John says
Let me talk more on point 6. We spend so much of our time struggling to achieve something in life like graduations, weddings or parties thinking that it is only when we attain these moments that we will truly be happy.
We get to these moments and the immense moment of glory and joy only last for a short time. We are then disappointed when we later discover that we do not really need these moments to feel true happiness.
Happiness is an internal job and a continuous process. If only people could see this, they would be happier.
Thank you for this bit of wisdom. I think it is something that we often forget and need reminding of. I agree on all points. We don’t need to make others happy to BE happy. We also don’t need perfect relationships or everything to be wonderful 24/7. Life just doesn’t work that way.
Your blog is full of inspiration – post after post and email after email speaks to me. Thank you.
To Carol above:
What a positive message in turning adversity into joy throughout your incredible journey. You leave us with an important message of how money/things are insignificant compared to family, love and attitude.
thank you for that.
Marc Chernoff says
@Everyone who left a comment above that I didn’t reply to directly:
Thank you for the incredible insight and kind words. Although your comments didn’t seem to require a direct response, I do want you to know that Angel and I read and appreciate your input. 🙂 As always, your willingness to share your stories, thoughts and insights with us just gave us the fuel (ideas and inspiration) for our next post.
We will check back later to read and respond to more comments, too.
Great blog post in these uncertain times. What are your views in apps like ventout.net dealing with similar issues we might face.
Your wisdom and writing keep me coming back for more. I have been lucky enough to reach until my 50s and to have been in excellent health. Well other than being overweight, unhealthy eater and a smoker my health was always good until late last year. I thought I had food poisoning, turns out I was seriously ill – I had gallstones, a blood clot from my liver to my gallbladder, sepsis and an other infections all of which combined put me very close to death’s door. I spent 2 weeks in hospital, it didn’t scare me but it made me think that I should keep living with my little mantra that I say to everybody. ‘As long as I wake up in the morning and can put my feet on the floor, It’s a good day!’
Danielle Hartley says
Lots of great stuff here, but 2 things I disagree with.
1) it is not necessary, in every instance, to do something Hard in order to be happy. Life is full of simple, easy pleasures, that cause happiness, and even lots of things of happy things are generated from other people, with no effort of your own. It’s Absolutely Dreadful and Drudgerous, and Negative to say that you ‘have’ to do hard things to be happy. How about focus on the simple, easy pleasures in life and how easy they are to attain, quite often, such as hearing the laugh of a baby.
2) I feel that you don’t ‘have’ to have self love in order to think that you deserve to be loved and respected by others. There’s plenty of insecure people in the world, not bursting with self love, that equally deserve love and respect, Without having to hold oneself to some shallow prospect of having an adequate amount of self love. So how much self love do you think someone needs in order to be loved and respected by others? I don’t feel that I need to hold myself to some arbitrary standard of how much self love I have, in order to be loved and respected by others. I differ with your opinion that people have to impose on themselves some standard of inner appraisal in order to seek love from others. Insecure people can be happy Without this inner appraisal standard, and find meaningful, healthy relationships as well. I know, I’m one of them. I’m very insecure and not self loving, but I have a healthy relationship with my boyfriend and family, who give me love, despite my inadequacies. I don’t have to change my inadequacies in order to think that I should be loved.
Wow, Wonderful Post!
I am so glad that I read it. We are so much dependent on external stimuli for our happiness. But, in reality, happiness is all about our attitude.Thanks for sharing this wisdom with us
Shivam Gautam says
Maybe lower expectation leads to more happiness.
It’s been about 7years since I last read a post on this site, I thought I had found my way and I can now live the way I want, but to be honest life has been rougher than I anticipated, so here I am again. Guess I may never have it all figured out.
I resonate with you completely when you say that the greatest act of faith some days is to simply get up and face the day with a smile .
Rachael Paterson says
Talk about impeccable timing!
Thank you very much for this post. I am printing it.
This is one of the most comforting articles I have read in a while. I can relate to all of them, not sure which one the most. Thank you for these wonderful reminders.
Jane Zimmerman says
I’m late to the party here but still want to leave my comment! Two points really hit home with me. First, I was in tears about the “hard things in life” part”. Absolutely true! There is even a song about it! I can do hard things. And yes, I can, and yes, I have! Many hard things and I am proud of them. Not knowing how much longer I could hold on BUT I DID! And I’m now on the other side! Secondly, I can vouch for the validity of the results of the scientific study that happiness peaks in one’s early 70’s as I recently turned 73 and even though I lost my husband seven years ago, still happiest I’ve ever been. I often tell him in heaven that his presence is the only thing missing that would make it better! I’ve ordered one of your books as I find reinforcement of all of these points just helps with more enjoyment of my life, so thank you! (Also to share with family, so several copies.)