You’ve come a long way, and you’re still learning and growing. Be thankful for the lessons. Take them and make the best of things right now.
For my 18th birthday, many moons ago, my grandfather on my mom’s side gave me four lightly-used flannel shirts that he no longer needed. The shirts were barely worn and in great shape; my grandfather told me he thought they would look great on me. Unfortunately, I thought they were odd gifts at the time and I wasn’t thankful. I looked at him skeptically, gave him a crooked half-smile, and moved on to the other gifts sitting in front of me. My grandfather died two days later from a sudden heart attack. The flannel shirts were the last gifts he ever gave me, and that crooked half-smile was the last time I directly acknowledged him. Today, I still regret the little thing I didn’t say when I had the chance: “Thank you Grandpa. I appreciate you.”
That was one huge wake-up call for me—one that has served me well for over two decades now.
And here are eight more wake-up calls that have also served me—some important reminders worth remembering before it’s too late:
1. You might not have tomorrow to say, “I love you.”
About a decade ago a coworker of mine died in a car accident. During his funeral several people from the office were in tears, saying kind things like: “I loved him. We all loved him so much. He was such a wonderful person.” I started crying too, and I wondered if these people had told him that they loved him while he was alive, or whether it was only with death that this powerful word, love, had been used without question or hesitation.
I vowed to myself then and there that I would never again hesitate to speak up to the people I love and remind them of how much I appreciate them. They deserve to know they give meaning to my life. They deserve to know I think the world of them.
Bottom line: If you love someone today, tell them. If you appreciate someone today, tell them. There might not be a tomorrow. Today is the day to express your love and admiration. (Note: Angel and I discuss this in detail in the Relationships chapter of our newest edition of 1,000 Little Things.)
2. Your judgments of others are often inaccurate.
You will never know exactly what another person is going through or what their whole story is. When you believe you do, realize that your assumptions about their life are in direct relation to your limited perspective.
Many people you believe to be successful are extremely unhappy. Many people you think have it easy worked their tail off achieve what they have. Many people who appear to be wealthy are in debt because of their extravagant tastes for material possessions. Many people who appear to you to be old and uncool were once every bit as young and hip and inexperienced as you.
3. Not trying is why most people fail.
It’s not the mistakes and failures you have to worry about, it’s the opportunities you miss when you don’t even try that hurt you the most. Trying always leads to success regardless of the outcome. Even mistakes and failures teach you what not to do next time. Thus, every outcome is a lesson that makes you stronger and wiser.
In the end, there’s only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the failure to try. The results you achieve are not based on what you plan to do or what you say you’ll do. Your results come from what you actually try and do consistently.
Your life will get better when you get better. Start investing in yourself mentally, physically, and spiritually. Make it a priority to learn and grow every day by building positive rituals and sticking to them. The stronger you become, the better your life will feel.
4. Patience does not mean waiting and doing nothing.
Patience involves productive activity. It means doing your very best with the resources available to you, while understanding that the results you seek are worth the required time and effort, and not available elsewhere for any less time and effort.
Patience is the realization that the quality of your life is much more significant than the quantity of things you fill it with. Patience is your willingness to accept and appreciate what you have right now, while you put forth a steady, focused effort into growing toward your dreams and goals.
5. You don’t need anything more to be happy.
Intuitively, you already know that the best stuff in life isn’t stuff at all, and that relationships, experiences and meaningful work are the staples of a happy, fulfilling life. Yet you live in a consumer driven society where your mind is incessantly subjected to clever advertising ploys that drive you, against your better judgment, to buy material goods you don’t need or even want.
At a certain point, the needless material objects you buy crowd out the emotional needs advertisers would like you to believe they are meant to support. So next time you’re getting ready to make an impulsive purchase, ask yourself if this thing is really better than the things you already have. Or have you been momentarily tricked into believing that you’re dissatisfied with what you already have? (Read Soulful Simplicity.)
6. You aren’t perfect, and neither is anyone else.
All humans are imperfect. At times, the confident lose confidence, the patient misplace their patience, the generous act selfish, and the knowledgeable second guess what they know.
And guess what? You’re human—we all are. We make mistakes, we lose our tempers, and we get caught off guard. We stumble, we slip, and we spin out of control sometimes.
But that’s the worst of it; we all have our moments. Most of the time we’re remarkable. So stand beside the people you love through their trying times of imperfection, and offer yourself the same courtesy; if you aren’t willing to, you don’t deserve to be around for the perfect moments either.
7. All the little things make a big difference.
Life isn’t about a single moment of great triumph and attainment. It’s about the trials and errors that get you there—the blood, sweat, and tears—the small, inconsequential things you do every day. It all matters in the end—every step, every regret, every decision, and every affliction.
The seemingly useless happenings add up to something. The minimum wage job you had in high school. The evenings you spent socializing with coworkers you never see anymore. The hours you spent writing thoughts on a personal blog that no one reads. Contemplations about elaborate future plans that never came to be. All those lonely nights spent reading novels and news columns and comics strips and fashion magazines and questioning your own principles on life and sex and religion and whether or not you’re good enough just the way you are.
All of this has strengthened you. All of this has led you to every success you’ve ever had. All of this has made you who you are today.
Truth be told, you’ve been broken down a 1,000 times and put yourself back together again. Think about how remarkable that is, and how far you’ve come. You’re not the same person you were a year ago, a month ago, or even yesterday. You’re always growing… stronger!
8. Excuses are lies.
Make no mistake, there is always a lie lingering in between a dream and too many excuses. And the lie is you lying to yourself.
The excuses and explanations won’t do you any good. They won’t add any value to your life or improve the quality of it by even the slightest margin. To fulfill your calling and get where you wish to go in life requires more than just thinking and talking. These feats require focused and sustained action. And the good news is, you’re perfectly capable of taking whatever actions are necessary. You just have to choose to actually do it.
No one else can succeed for you on your behalf. The life you live is the life you build for yourself. There are so many possibilities to choose from, and so many opportunities for you to bridge the gap between where you are and where you want to be. Now is the moment to actually step forward.
Now, it’s your turn…
Today, I hope you will have another inspired day, that you will dream boldly and dangerously, that you will make some progress that didn’t exist before you took action, that you will love and be loved in return, and that you will find the strength to accept and grow from the troubles you can’t change. And, most importantly (because I think there should be more kindness and wisdom in this crazy world), that you will, when you must, be wise with your decisions, and that you will always be extra kind to yourself and others.
And, please leave Angel and me a comment below and let us know what you think of this post. Your feedback is important to us. 🙂
(Finally, if you haven’t done so already, be sure to sign-up for our free newsletter to receive new articles like this in your inbox each week.)
Gina says
A million thank yous wouldn’t be enough to express the gratitude I feel towards both of you for writing such brilliant articles and emails each week. Your words inspire me every single day in every way possible! Every time I read them, I wonder “How do these people know exactly the advice I need…” 🙂
This article particularly hit home… and hard! Especially #7 and #8… I always keep coming up with excuses to not do things. I really need to work on not lying to myself. Thank you again for the constant encouragement you provide… your words always make my day. Bless u both! And I’m also enjoying your new book. 🙂
Liz Hurley says
yes lying to oneself it’s not good
Rachel Lima says
Beautiful post. Sometimes in my daily grind I tend to lose sight of what is really important. Your posts and emails are always the wake-up call I need. Thank you so much for sharing.
Namrata Chand says
I second this !
Sandy P. says
Marc, what an intimate and beautiful story about your grandfather. I can relate on so many levels. Also, number 1 is such a profoundly important message. I had an opportunity to express my forgiveness to my ex-husband for divorcing me after our son tragically died. He just couldn’t cope, and I knew that’s what it was. I am so grateful for that conversation because three weeks later he died. I’m sure it was of a broken heart.
Thank you for weekly inspiration and healthy reminders.
Kathy R says
Marc, when I was 18, my beloved grandmother died. I was finishing my first year of university and she was in hospital. The last time I saw her, she was in pain and barely conscious. I asked the nurse if she had enough medication to ease the discomfort, but I did not stay by her side. I have always regretted not doing so. My mother almost never went to see her as she was dying and I still struggle with our lack of deep empathy and love. I always try now to be there for the people I love. Thanks for your story about your grandfather. We do learn the value of the moment as we get older. I imagine your grandfather was wise and knew you loved him despite your momentary lack of gratitude.
Sonya Ritchie says
As always, wonderful.
Paul B says
I am beginning to accept that what I am, right now, in this moment, is all I need to be worthy of love and respect. I don’t need to wait for the “until” –
I am so grateful to read and practice the words you share with me regularly.
Perla milner says
Thank you again… ring tone on my phone for years… “I just called to say I love you” (Stevie Wonder)?? People seem to have no time to pick up a phone and say these three words that mean so much! I do!
Erin says
These blogs and emails that you write are so inspirational to me. I look forward to reading them. Thank you for always seeming to know the right things to say. You guys are the best!
Patrick J Sweeney says
Marc, an outstanding piece of work. It’s going out to my extended family as a must read — and a must do.
Sue Troise says
Loved this! Gratitude and appreciation of the people in our lives and all of our blessings and gifts is critical! I also liked the part about standing by others when they have weak or difficult times. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences with us.
Maria Bennett says
You both are so much appreciated.
Jesus and you guys, led by Him, keep me going .
Have a wonderful day.
Love,
Maria
Harley Semaken says
Hey there Marc,
I’ve been reading your articles for over a year now and I’m proud to say that I have learned to practice daily positive rituals and growing through experiences are important to me to appreciate what I have. Thanks for the boost! Have a good day!
Linda Fann says
Thank you for reminding me to say I love you to all the people I care about. Life is a cinch inch by inch, when we trust God.
Thanks for your inspirattions
Susan E. Ronnfeldt says
Thank you for this email and post. Your insight into what is needed arrived at the most opportune time today. It was not by accident. God had a plan and I needed to hear the message. Thank you. My husband passed 10 months ago today from cancer. The kids and I loved him so much. He was a great husband, father, and son. We miss him dearly but we know he is watching over us and looking out for us. He and God send us rainbows regularly when it has meaning. Yesterday was our 52nd wedding anniversary, and our daughter saw a rainbow on her way into work, yesterday morning.. We are so Blessed. Again, thank you for all of your positive meaningful messages.
Elle says
Because of your email and your list I took action on several issues I am dealing with. I have been sitting in the “what if’s” and worries about the unknown I was dealing with. I made some calls to get some answers and was able to erase some fears and doubts today. All thanks to you Marc and Angel. Thank you so much for this blog post.
Kim says
A few years ago, on a day I was praying to St Michael, the archangel, to intervene on my behalf for strength and guidance, one of your hack life posts mysteriously appeared in my inbox. Based upon both your website name, content, and the unreal timing, I subscribed. As I sit here now and reflect, I know it’s time to share. After a bitter divorce and having to raise 3 young kids into adulthood, I am finally able to live for me. Through pain is growth. Through giving you receive. And the timing is not of our choosing. Sometimes, faith is the only thing to hold onto. And, it is enough. Tomorrow I move from Chicago to Colorado to fulfill my calling. I don’t know exactly what that is, but would like to sincerely thank you for your part in my evolution. Blessings to you both.
Lillian says
Thank you! i love your posts! Today, this reminded me about something I have been using excuses not to do!
Wendy Malmborg says
I was 19 leaving on my big adventure around Australia as I drove away I watched my Mum waving from the footpath. I gave her my little stereo as she always said she would get one when I leave .. just one of all the things she said she would get later .. she didn’t get all those things as she died suddenly a few months later .. I have always been grateful my last memory of her and the lesson to really seize the moment, you might never get another chance to hug someone or to dance crazy or visit a friend.. Make time and life will fit in around it .That was nearly 50 years ago and have no regrets.
WD says
Thank you! I really needed this encouragement and validation in this message today. I now move forward with a better mindset than I had 5 minutes ago. Thank you!
Jane Jones says
This was the post with my name on it. I am simply miserable in inertia, procrastination and fear. Stuck is an understatement. I feel if I had a mentor, accountability partner, I could get on with things I need to deal with. I’ve heard that is a good choice for someone like me. I have a therapist but that’s limited. Should you have advice how to find one for someone with limited income, I would be grateful. Thanks for this post, it was insightful and valuable.
Sincerely,
Stuck in pain.
Lynn says
Hi Jane,
I’m happy to help mentor you, even if by email to start. I’ve been there. Now I’m free. Love yourself, love your life, but it begins with self acceptance, and self love. You are so wise to reach out and ask for a mentor, I admire this, and it takes a lot of courage to do this. So be proud of yourself! May I ask how old you are? I’m 54. I too wish I had a mentor, and I did for little while, my dear mother in law, but she lived out of State, then passed away. God has now sent me my sister in law. She’s 62. Women need women, and women need to mentor other women. May you keep turning to God for wisdom.
Alma V. says
Your words are truly delightful, inspiring, uplifting, and comforting. They are words to live by, to strive by, to just be. They are words that will never let you down because they are the words you tell yourself every day. They are words that will never leave you astray. This is not the first post I’ve read. Every blog resonates with me because its relatable. These posts are never discriminatory because we are all human, just living a human existence.
Megan says
I’m literally sitting in the airport tearing up right now over this post. Thank you. Hugs, Megan
Tina S says
Thank you. This post was much needed today. I have to have an uncomfortable conversation with a staff member this morning. Plus it has prompted me to realize that I have plateaued at my current employer. I submitted a resume to an organization that lights a fire in my belly. Keep believing in yourself.
Amelia mansellthomas says
I especially agree with the point that focusing on your mental health is important and your article brings that out. It appears , one can only self actualize once they get all your mental “ducks “ in order. Then , you are in a position to help others.
Barbara says
Daily I struggle that I should be different. Yet your posts remind me that all I have done or not done have led to the me I am today. Many experiences have taught me all the things I currently know. I’m reminded that I’m ok just as I am. I am enough, I have enough,I have done enough, etc. I know in my heart that if I died tomorrow, I’d be happy for all I had become, and done, and accomplished. Yet, I still feel an urgency to do more, see more, be more like I might die tomorrow. Perhaps that as long as I am living I want to experience all I can. Productive meetings today, literally zip lining tomorrow. I’m happy yet still yearning. That’s my life wanting to live fully every day. Thank you for your reminders to love the little things,too.
Getachew says
I am moved by your story and I learned a great deal from your wisdom. It reminded me of my grandma who passed away 3 Years back. I grew up with her till 6 years of age. She wasn’t educated and she divorced several times. But, she finally met her husband after many breakups. Unfortunately, they didn’t have a child of their own and they adopted my mother while she was only 1 year. They cared a lot for my mom who was not educated beyond 3rd grade. Both my grandmom and grandpa loved my mom so much as if she were their biological child. They lead incredibly happy and kind life. They built an amazing reputation, no one could imagine by any means. My grandpa passed away decades ago and my grandma passed away 3 years back. I had never seen them arguing and fighting. Simply, they loved each other so much. My grandmother spent the rest of life after her husband passed with my family who is not as good as they were. I stayed with her for about 10 years. And, I had never seen her complaining and using negative words. She cared a lot about her appearance till she passed away. During her last days, I was with her and cared a lot for her. She always liked talking to me and telling me stories. Although she was not educated, she had amazing wisdom and personality. She was blessing me a lot during her last days and even right shortly she developed dementia… she gave her last breath calling my name and blessing me. She lived more than 90 years and she once had a hysterectomy for myoma during her young adulthood by white missionaries. She kept telling me how they were caring and that their service influenced her. People used to call foreighners ” Ferenj” in our local language. Starting from that time I began to like white people and drawn to love them. Although I was caring for her during her last days, I still miss my grandmom no matter what she was.
The lesson I gained from my grandparent was: There is still great wisdom in humble places and uneducated peoples.
Love you all and forgive me for my crappy English.
Lots of love and blessings,
Getachew.
Jacqueline Marie Olson says
Hello Marc,
I love this post because I went through something 17 years ago and I never got to say goodbye to my brother before he passed away. He was my best friend, and he was one of the best friends that anyone could ask for. He loved and cared about everyone. He passed away while at work, trying to get his job done so he could come home to my mom and dad and my brother and I. But, he didn’t make it. Because it was his time to be called home. Tell everyone you love them. Because you never know if it will be the last time you talk or see them. Tell them how much they mean to you.
I hope everyone has a great day!
Yvonne says
I love your inspirational articles. I always learn something and in some way they are always relevant. Thank you.
Donna Sheffler says
I am finally taking the time to comment on your words today. Usually I comment on Facebook . I appreciate your response there. But I wanted to say thank you here as well for the wisdom and insight you two share with us. These 8 lessons really hit home and when I feel overwhelmed, I make a point to read your words.
Thanks a million for being there and I would like to order all of your books and articles for myself for all the hard work I am doing. Please tell me how to get them .
Sherry Lewis says
Nov 21, 2021: last Thursday a dear friend and I were involved in an act of violence. Groups of people on the interstate intentionally ramming cars from behind. They already struck many before happening upon us. Fortunately we weren’t injured and cars can be fixed but my confidence in being out of my home and driving has been shaken and the holiday is coming up and I’m worried to get in the car to travel to see my mother whom I wasn’t able to see last Thanksgiving. The two points that resonate with me in this article are #1 and #7. My friend and I are both shell shocked and are weepy and clingy telling each other how fortunate we are and that we love each other. No one ever expects to be a victim in something like this.
sampathkumar iyengar says
Great Post and a excellent reminder that LIFE goes on with LOVE INFINITIELY FELT EVERY TIME!
SIMON says
Thanks a lot for the post. It’s truly full of encouraging articles to give us strength and determination to move forward.
Brandon says
Timely and great as always thank you.
Randy Hill says
My grandmother gave me a few of my grandfather’s flannel shirts after he died. As she pulled them from the closet, she held one close to her face and smelled it – and burst into tears. His loss came flooding back to her. I will never, ever forget that moment. Cherish your loved ones while you can.
Steve Smith says
I was motivated to comment because I’ve followed you (both) for years and your wisdom and grace are truly a blessing to this world and to us, your readers and followers.
As I scrolled down the lengthy list of positive comments,, I thought ” there are already so many; why would I bother to leave yet another one?”
Because I remembered what I had just read in ##7 All the Little Things make a Big Difference” . So this is a little comment to thank you for all you’ve done to help me grow as a human being and be a better person to everyone around me. Thank you for loving yourselves and teaching me to love myself more. Thank you for witing and sharing your wisdom. Please continue!!
Agnetha says
In December 2018, I received a telephone call from my niece. Her parting words to me were ‘Bye, I love you’. I replied in kind. It was our last communication as she died suddenly at 34 in January 2019. As that beautiful song says ‘tell them in the living years’ and I’m glad I got the chance to.
Jeane says
This particular email/post really struck a chord with me. I felt deep gratitude for being one of your followers. You two provide such a light in this world. You educate, encourage, inspire, uplift, and comfort us. You ask the difficult questions, and offer positive solutions. You present hard truths in a loving way. You remind us we are human, that we make mistakes, that we can forgive ourselves and move forward. You stress the fact that we have choices in this life and the power to change. You consistently provide guidance as to how we can live our best life. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and sage advice. You are such a gift.
Perla milner says
Wow!!! Thank you so much for your e-mails! Kindness is a gift anyone can afford!!!!???
Maymay says
Another bang on reminder and wonderfully written piece !
Thank you for all you contribute out into the universe and for us to all benefit from 🙂
AL says
I read all of your email updates but THIS one is pure gold…(must be THANKSGIVING time again :)…THANK you for this one !!
Robin says
Such a relevant post as I am engaging with Compassionate Communities, aged care facilities and working to value older people. The messages are so true, and resonate so well with the concept that elderly people no longer contribute, have anything to achieve. No wonder they become depressed and we can all address that
Thank you
Terri says
Thank you so much, I believe God wanted for me to read your great words and to also get to read everyone’s reply, My story would be way more then I can put into words right now, Just for now, God bless you all, AMEN. XXXX
Esther says
Thank you for this deeply inspiring post.
Judy Connelly says
Good morning,
#3-Not Trying and # Excuses are lies were motivating for me today. I’ve recently marked some ways that CoVid isolation has effected my life- things I thought I was dealing with better than I really am. I’m working on being more vigilant in reaching out to others- no excuses! Thanks for your encouragement and Happy Thanksgiving.
Adeela says
Brilliant post, I love getting your uplifting emails.
Charles says
You two never disappoint. What a piece! Yes, I am human and I make mistakes and learn from them. I grow when I put my dreams into actions. Excuses are lies
Maria To says
Your articles everyday lifts our spirits up ! It is what we read first above anything else. It gives us peace and serenity , and fortitude to face whatever challenges that may come our way. !! We have shared this article to all of our family and loved ones. What a true blessing indeed to have come across your website off chance !! Thank you so much.
April says
Very uplifting and meaningful