The truth does not cease to exist when it is forgotten.
You know how you can read or hear something dozens of times in dozens of different ways before it finally sinks in? The little truths listed below fall firmly into that category — timeless life lessons that many of us likely learned years ago, and have been reminded of ever since, yet for whatever reason we tend to forget in the heat of the moment.
This, my friends, is my attempt at helping all of us, myself included, “get it” and “remember it” once and for all, especially as we collectively cope with the evolving struggles in the world today…
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1. Life is short, and nothing is guaranteed.
We know deep down that life is short, and that death will happen to all of us eventually, and yet we are infinitely surprised when it happens to someone we know. It’s like walking up a flight of stairs with a distracted mind, and misjudging the final step. You expected there to be one more stair than there is, and so you find yourself off balance for a moment, before your mind shifts back to the present moment and how the world really is.
LIVE your life TODAY! Don’t ignore death, but don’t be afraid of life either. Be afraid of a life you never lived because you were too afraid to take positive action today. Death is not the greatest loss in life, neither is illness. The greatest loss is what dies inside you while you’re still alive and well. Even in these difficult times, be bold, be courageous, be a scared to death, and then take the next step anyway. Just change the way you do it.
Invest your heart and soul into whatever you have right in front of you. Bring passion into otherwise ordinary moments. You don’t have to be surrounded by lots of people either. You don’t have to be going anyplace new. You can distance yourself safely if you choose, and still passionately engage in each moment.
2. Everything will change again soon.
Embrace change and realize in many ways it’s necessary. It won’t always be obvious at first, but in the end most forms of change are worthwhile because they force us to grow. So keep yourself in check right now.
What you have today may become what you had by tomorrow. You never know. Things change, often spontaneously. People and circumstances come and go. Life doesn’t stop for anybody. It moves rapidly and rushes from calm to chaos in a matter of seconds, and happens like this to people every day. It’s likely happening to someone nearby right now.
Sometimes the shortest split second in time changes the direction of our lives. A seemingly innocuous decision rattles our whole world like a meteorite striking Earth. Entire lives have been swiveled and flipped upside down, for better or worse, on the strength of an unpredictable event. And these events are always happening — like all the senseless violence we see in our world today.
So just remember, however good or bad a situation is now, it will change. That’s the one thing you can count on. Accept it. Breathe. Be where you are. You’re where you need to be right now. There’s a time and place for everything, and every hard step is necessary. Just keep doing your best, and don’t force what’s not yet supposed to fit into your life. When it’s meant to be, it will be.
3. Changing your response is what puts you back in control.
Have patience with everything that remains imperfect or unfinished in your head and heart. And realize that patience is not about waiting, but the ability to keep a good attitude while working hard to stay true to your intuition and values. This is your life, and it is governed by your choices. May your actions speak louder than your words. May your daily choices preach louder than your lips. May your inner sense of satisfaction be your noise in the end.
And if your present life only teaches you one thing, let it be that taking a passionate leap is always worth it. Even if you have no idea where you’re going to land — even when there are so many unknowns — be brave enough to stand up and listen to your heart. Remember that the most powerful moments in life happen when you find the courage to let go of what can’t be changed. Because as Viktor Frankl said, when you are no longer able to change a situation, you are challenged to change yourself — to grow beyond the unchangeable. And that changes everything! (Marc and I discuss this in more detail in the “Passion and Growth” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)
4. Life’s storms can be a great source of strength.
Hard times are like strong storms that blow against you. And it’s not just that these storms hold you back from places you are trying to go. They also tear away from you all but the essential parts of your ego that cannot be torn, so that you are left only with the foundation of who you really are.
Ultimately, you realize you are here to endure these storms, to sacrifice your time and risk your heart. You are here to be bruised by life. And when it happens that you are hurt, or betrayed, or rejected, let yourself sit quietly with your eyes closed and remember all the good times you had, and all the sweetness you tasted, and everything you learned. Tell yourself how amazing it was to live, and then open your eyes and live some more.
Because to never struggle would be to never grow. You must let go of who you were so you can become who you are. Again, it is within the depths of the strongest and darkest storms that you discover within you an inextinguishable light, and it is this light that illuminates the path forward.
5. You don’t need all the answers right now.
Accept the feeling of not knowing exactly where you are going, and train yourself to love and appreciate this sensation of freedom. Because it is only when you are suspended in the air, with no destination in sight, that you force your wings to open fully so you can fly. And as you soar around you still may not know where you’re traveling to. But that’s not what’s important. What’s important is the opening of your wings. You may not know where you’re going, but you know that so long as your wings are spread, the winds will carry you forward.
Truth be told, some of the greatest outcomes that transpire in your life will be the ones you never even knew you wanted. As long as you keep your mind open to new perspectives and yourself moving forward, there really are no wrong turns in life, only paths you didn’t know you were meant to travel. And you never can be certain what’s around the corner. It could be everything, or it could be nothing. You keep gliding steadily forward, and then one day you realize you’ve come a long way from where you started.
All details aside, someday all the pieces will come together. Unimaginably good outcomes will likely transpire in your life, even if everything doesn’t turn out exactly the way you had anticipated. And you will look back at the hard times that have passed, smile, and ask yourself…
“How in the world did I get through all of that?”
Now, it’s your turn…
What else would you add to this list?
Which point above resonates the most right now?
We would love to hear from YOU.
Leave a comment below and share your thoughts.
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Bonnie Staughton says
Loved it. What resonated to me the most was the last paragraph of #5–“someday all the pieces will come together”. Thanks so much for this. I intend to read it several more times to get the true meaning–slowly.
Marc Chernoff says
Thanks for the kind feedback, Bonnie. 🙂
Susan Gauthier says
Me too I have taken a big leap love wise. Trying to live in the moment and not ruminate about what might be ahead. It’s hard but is anything forever?
Nancy Nielsen says
“When you are no longer able to change a situation, you are challenged to change yourself!” This is a great reminder and it has a lot of meaning to many of us today.
Marc Chernoff says
Great to hear that statement resonates, Nancy. 🙂
Frances Frawley says
Your words of encouragement, wisdom and compassion have made a difference in my life, over the years of being a part of yours. I have been writing essays on many ways to survive, and what I am doing to be grateful for all in the past, and the hope of a good life in the future. Thank You for all your kind and wise thoughts over the past years.
I have shared your “Getting Back to Happy” book with family and friends over these past years too.
Sending love and strength to you two, and all those in your life.
Frances J. Frawley
Emmy Steve says
Love this. Time would pass. It’s what we choose to do now that matters – our attitude and response to challenges.
Lorraine says
I really like the reminder that when we’re going through hard times, being grateful may be more difficult, but it’s still a helpful practice in small doses.
Tere Saad says
All your writings are excellent, this one is one of your best. Thank you for taking the time to encourage others. I would only add the mention of God to this piece, since He is the one that can transform our lives….turning even bad situations into a blessing somehow. I understand that not everyone believes in a creator but pretty much you stated what the Bible says….have courage, don’t be afraid, live today without worrying about tomorrow, I will be with you, the pieces will come together. It shows Marc and Angel that you have love for others, that you don’t judge and that you have a deep desire to see others happy and free…..may blessings fill your lives and may you always be able to carry on with your beautiful work.
Teresa says
I liked what you wrote that patience is having a positive attitude about the situation. Due to illness, I have been staying at home alone for the past two weeks and it is very difficult. But, a better attitude will see me through these troubling times. Thank you for all of your encouragement.
christine says
Beautiful, Beautiful, Beautiful!
Stay well xx
Lisa says
Thank you, as always, for your encouragement and words of wisdom over the years Angel & Marc. (I two of your books and refer to them often, I’ve also recommended them to many people.)
#hope #faith #peace
celine healy says
This is such a timely article for me and many I assume. The simplest things are often the easiest to forget, as you say in the heading: 5 Painfully Obvious Truths We Tend to Forget in Hard Times. We have grown up in an instant and remote control life so we often want instant change. We wan tot click the button and have everything different.
Those points you outlined:
1. Life is short, and nothing is guaranteed.
2. Everything will change again soon.
3. Changing your response is what puts you back in control.
4. Life’s storms can be a great source of strength.
5. You don’t need all the answers right now…
are spot on.
The one that stood out for me was the last point. I find that when trying to learn a new topic I want to see instant results and get very frustrated when I do not see the results I want.
What I would add is to be grateful for what you already have. Where you live. For your work, your family and your relationships. And be kind to yourself, especially in difficult times.
Joy says
Hello,
Thank you for this article. I chanced upon this while browsing on my emails. I believe it is God’s way of speaking to me what my heart yearns. This article is for me. I am going through a big change in my life after so many years. I got used to planning and looking ahead. Got so used of being comfortable of what I can see ahead of me. Now I followed what is my heart. I must say that I do not know yet where I am going but it is true that the leap to the unknown is kind of liberating from my comfort zone which has become a prison because I was afraid to take the plunge. Also, exciting for what this bravery will take me. I believe in what you said that as long as my wings are spread, the winds will carry me forward. I may not have all the answers right now or where I will be, but it is worthwhile to try, take the adventure, and live life passionately. Thank you
Arleen Romano says
There is so much wisdom in every paragraph you’ve written As a long time follower of your work, I am always inspired and frankly amazed at your depth of insight and way of conveying it. Thank you for your words of comfort and encouragement.
Jennifer says
Thank you for this beautiful reminder that all things are possible, even during difficult times.
I am a cancer patient that was living in another province with my fiancé, who was a recovering alcoholic. I never seen that side of him until the stress became too much for him to cope and he turned back to alcohol. Unfortunately, he wasn’t the gentle, kind man that I feel in love with. He was violent. Two days after major surgery and COVID still lingering in the world, I managed to gather my strength belongings, and with just enough money for a flight home I did it. I felt like a failure, like a victim at 52 years old,. Now I feel stronger, I have been through worse through out my life and I will pray to the universe that he becomes the good man that I fell in love with again. The words he used on me I know that I am not. If I stayed longer I probably would eventually have broken down to believe him. After any storm the sun will always shine. Thank you for the reminder.
Alex Tucker says
Beautiful article. The one thing I would add, which I try to remind myself of every day, is that I have the ability to handle life’s challenges gracefully. Even if it’s incredibly difficult some days and I lose my way frequently, I can become the force of good I’ve always admired in others.
tia says
dear marc & angel
what a read tonight. the whole piece was very moving but i especially loved #3. thank you for the reminder to ‘have patience with everything that remains imperfect or unfinished in your head and your heart’. made me think of ranier maria rilke’s letters to a young poet…which is very near & dear to me…as i pray a prayer of thanks i have allowed myself to live my way to the answer, finally, these last 11 years…mistakes, and heartaches and pains and all…after being afraid to play it any other way than safe, and controlling, in my life, up to the point of his passing. My father’s 11 year anniversary is soon, and my birthday, one week after. I truly feel was a message, a gift, right from him at this very special time for me.. ‘perhaps someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer’. thank you for a beautyfull gift.
i hope you are both well. and wish you both a joyous summer.
love
tia
Elaine Furphy. From Glasgow Scotland says
Thank you so much guys for the reassurance that things get better eventually and this will pass . Nothing is permanent in this world. Good times. bad times . All the uncertainty in the world at the moment is making more and more of us anxious to turn on the tv and social media. At times like this we can turn inward and create a calmness within us. I get out your 1,000 Little Things book and constantly read the positive reminders , and while burning incense. This helps me a lot. Keep up the good work guys. you are doing amazing!
Tawanda says
I really needed to hear this
Amy says
Hard times. We just lost our mother a few months ago due to COVID. and your right we just have to keep going day by day. We have our good days and hard days. My son took it very hard. He has a lot of angry upset days but I tell him one day at a time. Before my mom passed away I was up at the hospital seeing her and I just broke down , started crying. She said its ok to cry. Cry if you need to. So I tell my son that it’s ok to be sad and angry and anything you are feeling. We are here for each other.
Lynne Stalbaum says
All 5 of these points have been a blessing to me. These have given me hope to continue during the trauma in me life and now feel I will some day I will look back and say “How in the world did I get through all of this?”
Thank you for all you have helped me with during these rough times!
Olaf Klein says
I appreciate the work you do honestly.
Some of the truths were poignant for me and others were truly uplifting. I have to say my favorite is, like many have already mentioned, is #5.
I have recently began to apply that truth to my life and I’ve found it too be noticeably more peaceful. I wish I knew this much earlier.
susan learned says
Living with chronic illness/pain sometimes leads us to believe that our life is over. If you do the hard work, the shadow work and find where you sail high and free, then its kind of fun actually to watch the pieces that follow, the ones that let us realize that things are playing out just as they should happen. Patience is the hard part during this waiting..but keeping ones brain entertained, focused on the positive and watching ones life play out with all the positivity engaged can be rewarding.