Where you ultimately end up is dependent on your daily attitude and response.
This morning one of our coaching clients, Monica—a recovering victim of a fairly recent and debilitating car accident—was smiling from ear to ear the minute our FaceTime coaching session began. “What has you in such good spirits today?” I asked her. “I’m thinking differently about things…about how lucky I am to be alive,” she replied. “I thought the injuries I sustained in that accident last year signified the end of life as I know it, but now I realize they signify the beginning.”
All details aside, Monica decided to begin again, in her mind first and then in her life. It’s taken her several months of healing and practice, but she has consciously let go of the “shoulda, woulda, coulda” attachments in her head about her circumstances, and she has stepped forward with grace and determination. Her new beginning has nothing to do with the recent New Year, and everything to do with a new way of thinking.
Truth be told, today is really the beginning, for all of us. And we can prevent the wrong thoughts and beliefs from getting the best of us as we move forward with our lives in 2021. We can train our minds to make the very best of the present moment, even when our circumstances are far less than ideal. All it takes is practice.
The mind is like a muscle, and just like every muscle in the human body, it needs to be exercised to gain strength. It needs to be trained daily to grow and develop gradually over time. If you haven’t pushed your mind in a dozen little, positive ways over the course of time, of course it’ll crumble on the inevitable days that get overwhelmingly stressful.
The easiest way to begin strengthening the mind?
Positive Morning Reminders
The morning is vital. It’s the foundation from which the day is built. And that’s why we have to be mindful of how we speak to ourselves when we first wake up. What we tell ourselves first thing in the morning is a big part of what we hear for the rest of the day.
Positive morning reminders are honestly one of the simplest and most powerful tools for mental growth.
It’s all about keeping the right thoughts top of mind from the get-go every day, so they’re readily available on those hard days when you need them most. For Monica, that has meant sitting down quietly with herself every morning after breakfast and reflecting on precisely what she needs to remember. She reads quotes (most of them are excerpts from our books and blog archive) like the ones below to do just that. Some people call them affirmations, or prayers, or convictions, but in any case these positive morning reminders keep Monica on track by keeping peaceful, productive thoughts and perspectives centered in her mind, even as she struggles to cope with her injuries.
She has ultimately learned that peace does not mean to be in a place where there is no chaos, trouble, or hard realities to deal with—peace means to be in the midst of all those things and still remain mentally and emotionally centered.
Starting today, I challenge all of us (Marc and myself included) to follow Monica’s lead for the rest of the year. Let’s choose one of these reminders every morning, and then sit quietly for a couple minutes while repeating it silently to ourselves. Let’s see how doing so gradually changes the way we think through life’s twists and turns and forks in the road…
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Challenge Yourself to Embrace Every Experience
Too often we yearn for a very small and selective range of life experiences—the fun times, the happy situations, the things that make us feel comfortable. And yet, the full range of our reality is often quite different. Life gives us an extensive array of experiences that evoke feelings ranging from sadness to regret to pride to anger to love to loneliness… to happiness to excitement and more. These feelings are all part of being a living, breathing human being.
So we can revolt against the unfairness of life—the unfairness of having to deal with loss, having to live through a pandemic, having to feel lonely and uncomfortable and upset. Or we can embrace every experience life gives us, including all our highs and lows—all the blissful moments and painful ones and everything in between. Life is not just happy and comfortable 24/7. It’s well-rounded, it’s full-featured, and it’s real.
Embracing the full range of life’s experiences for the remainder of this year means embracing every moment with our full presence, being open and vulnerable to reality, being gentle with ourselves when times are tough, and practicing sincere gratitude no matter what happens.
It means accepting life as it is, and accepting ourselves as we are.
It means not expecting the best to happen every time, but instead accepting whatever happens every time, and making the very best of it.
This isn’t easy, of course, but it’s worth working on.
YOU are worth working on, starting first thing every morning. I sincerely hope you leverage the reminders above to do just that. And if you’d like some extra support as you move forward, we’d love to work directly with you via our two-on-one coaching or the Getting Back to Happy course.
Your turn…
If you’re feeling up to it, we would love to hear from YOU.
Which reminder mentioned above resonates with you the most today, and why?
Leave a comment below and share your thoughts.
Also, if you haven’t done so already, be sure to sign-up for our free newsletter to receive new articles like this in your inbox each week.
Jason Leve says
Such a great read all the way through to reinforce the positive possibilities for the year ahead! I sincerely love how your reminder #1 wraps back around perfectly to reminder #12. Those are my two favorite, but the reminders in the middle certainly round them out.
Thank you for your emails, book, and your live conferences. What you two share continuously helps me grow! Also, I attended your Think Live Better conference in South Florida a few years ago, and I just bought a digital ticket/recording to your most recent Orlando event for my wife and me to get a head-start this year. Cheers!
Marie says
M&A, reminder number 6 above is something I used to struggle with desperately to no end. I actually found your website about three years ago when I was stuck in a bout of depression. Between stressful job responsibilities, and difficult family obligations, my tank was utterly dry. In a nutshell, I was stretching myself far too thin — I was giving all of myself to the projects and people I care about and leaving zero time to nurture my own wellness. After reading your blog posts and emails, I signed up for your back to happiness course and started coaching with you. The rituals we designed na implemented for dealing with my self-neglect and balancing my time and energy so that I’m now nurturing both myself AND others, has been a an absolute life-saver.
Although it’s been awhile since I checked in here and left a public comment, I do often read your new posts and emails when they arrive in my inbox. This one—especially number 6—was such a great reminder for me as I embark on the next step at the moment that I had to leave you another quick “Thank you!” And I’m looking forward to a better year this year.
jamie says
Marc&Angel,
I resonate deeply with the positive morning reminders you’ve shared here and I will start using them tomorrow when I first wake up. But I also want you to know how much I deeply connected with the way you ended this article…the challenge to accept every life situation and experience. Gosh, I really need to hear this right now because the past couple years have left me in some tough situations. Too often I find myself avoiding situations, experiences, relationships, and realities in my life that aren’t ideal nowadays. I resist the truth far more often then I even realize, and quite honestly I think many folks I know do the same exact thing. We avoid reality rather than opening ourselves to the possibility of making the very best of it.
Anyhow, I’ve been a long-time reader of your work, and my husband and I sit down together every week and use your articles, emails and excerpts from your 1,000 Things book to reflect on our lives. This article has helped us do just that today as we press forward to end this year right. Thank you, yet again. 🙂
Hareem Gillani says
Reminder no. 8 really opened my eyes. I’m studying for my GCEs and honestly, I’ve been stressed this past month because I couldn’t get over my Physics and Chemistry concepts. I want to be at Cambridge University after my A-Levels but I seriously believed that maybe I wouldn’t be able to. But these reminders did their work – of reminding me – that I need to be able to do what I hate right now and embrace it so I can be at the place I dream of.
Thank you so much! You can’t imagine how much you have helped.
Ryan Pedersen says
I think reminder #6 resonates with me the most right now. I manage mental illness and have been very open about it with my current, and past, employers. I have always assumed and expected that my mental health should be a priority to my employers because I work so hard and the stress that comes from Corporate America has often left me in less than desirable circumstances to effectively manage my mental health. This past Monday was my first day back at work after 2 weeks off for medical leave due to work stress. There was no email letting me know what had been done, no welcome back, no apology from anyone. When I asked our HR person about the situation I even got some finger pointing and blame for the situation. The fact of the matter is that outside of my fiancé and my parents, no one on this planet is going to prioritize my health…especially not Corporate America. Just this week I freed myself of that expectation and I’ve never felt better
Jessica says
I resonate with number 6. You must make yourself a priority and love your life as is. You must take care of yourself and you cannot wait for others to chose you. You are responsible for your own self worth and fulfilling your own needs. No one else can complete you but you. Do what makes you happy everyday and attract the love and light you want into your life!
Tamara Lee Thilmany says
I could not love you guys more. I look at the obstacles other people are facing and feel mine seem so minimal but they are huge for me. I have never wrote a comment anywhere for life coaches but have felt inner feelings getting so bad. I am 49 and repeat negative insecure feelings and responses in mostly relationships and am my own worst enemy. I feel I will never change. I feel ridiculous talking about it because I feel it makes me look week minded. Your articles have helped me in so many ways I have actually told others to sign up for your emails. They have helped with me and I have my boyfriend read them so we can both improve, however I always fall back into old patterns and have so much remorse. Finally I have looked into Concealed Depression and I fit the mold. I have told only 1 person but do not want to tell others. I feel I can figure it out. Your articles I look forward to and I write myself little notes as reminders for myself but it just seems so hard sometimes to change. Just wanted to say you two, in my eyes help in more ways than you know. You have helped me try to focus on the here and now and focus on me. Sorry this is so long but I will just sum this up with you two have made a difference in my life in such a way that I can never explain. they have turned my thinking around when it was needed most, even if just for a moment. You have helped me and I want to say thank you!!! I will fight theses battles everyday but your articles, even just for the moment get me thinking better and feeling stronger. Thank you for all your caring, and time, and selflessness living a life of helping others. You are truly angels and I will continue to do what I need to do. Thank god for you and your spot on advice. I have turned off social media to focus more and me and what is in front of me and between nature, getting outdoors, and your articles I have a more positive mindset.
Lu says
Hello everyone. These are all really good positive affirmations that I plan on reading every morning from here on out. But #11 speaks to me on a very personal level. This year has been a rough year for my family. My Dad’s health had been steadily declining. We lived in a tiny room at my parents’ house all year while we tried to sell our home so that we could be buy a house closer to them. My husband and I had 2 failed infertility treatments. My dear great aunt passed away. One of our dogs got ran over by a car and had to have both his front legs reconstructed though he still can’t walk that well. We had a lot of financial difficulty and I had to pull money out of my 401K just to stay afloat. We had to put our 15 1/2 year-old dog down (different dog). Our neighbor’s dog attacked our cat almost killing him costing us yet another sky-high vet bill. Yet another one of my dogs of 14 years was diagnosed with hip displasia, can barely walk and will also have to be put down in the near future. I got 2 speeding tickets – one of which was so bad I almost lost my job. And worst of all to end the year off with a bang… my best friend, my Dad, passed away from complications with pneumonia unexpectedly leaving my mother with no source of income and a lot of debt. It’s easy for me to get down thinking about all that we’ve been through (and still going through) this past year, but a couple years ago I got a tattoo that says “Be Present”, because I knew that at 34 if I didn’t start being more present every day my life would become a revolving door of sadness, regret and worry from constantly thinking about what happened yesterday and what could happen tomorrow. I can’t say that I’ve perfected the art of being present yet, but my tattoo has been a constant reminder to look around everyday and be grateful for what I have right now. It may not be here tomorrow so enjoy it today. Nothing lasts forever. And life is not always rainbows and butterflies, but we somehow we always make it through to the other side a stronger wiser person because of it. ~May you all have a wonderful and “present” remainder of the year 🙂
Delci Organ says
I just found your blog today. It’s such a blessing when God provides you what you need the in the moment you need it. I love everything written in this blog and can relate to most of them. However, #9 hit me the hardest. I found your blog by doing a google search on the following words “The hardest part of getting a second chance at life is becoming keenly aware of the pain you inflicted on others”. The second chance I am referring to, is best described by telling you that after a near death experience, God has given me a new set of eyes, a new perspective. To quote the movie “Father Stu”, God has given me the scenic route to life. Just 10 short months ago, I was in a tragic motorcycle accident on 12/18/2021 and was given less then 1% chance of survival. I coded 3 times, the 3rd time my trauma surgeon cut open my chest, pulled out my heart and massaged it by hand until it could beat on it’s own. I lost over half my organs and lost my lower left leg. The first month in the hospital was touch and go. My family had to sit in ICU with me and pray I would make it through the night for over a month. I shocked my trauma team and any member of the medical staff that cared for me those first few months. They never thought I would make it. In fact, to this day I run into medical staff that worked on me in the beginning and their first words are always “you’re not supposed to be here”. Lucky for me, God is the ultimate decision maker and according to him, it was my time. I still struggle to comprehend all that I went through. I had 16 surgeries and 85 blood products to which I remember none of. I have always been a person with determination, resilience and will power. When faced with a challenge I hit it head on. Those traits, I believe also helped to save my life, they most certainly have gotten me through the last 10 months. Trauma, it sneaks up on you when you least expect it. The days that trauma is kicking my butt and I’m feeling down in the gutter, I used to get really pissed off because I couldn’t shake it and couldn’t keep it from returning. I have learned now that those days will come and go and when they are here I give myself permission to take a mental health break. I no longer beat myself up. This 2nd chance that God has given me, he’s shown me who I was, where I made the mistakes. It’s been humbling and heartbreaking. My 19 year old daughter told me this week that I ruined her life 6 years ago when I divorced her father. I was so proud of her for finally speaking up while at the same time my heart ripped in half. In that moment I did ask myself, “was my life really worth saving”. Who am I to question God. He saved me for a reason, some has already been revealed but I believe He wants me to see who I was and learn from it so I can focus on the areas in which I need to grow. I am overjoyed and honored that God has given me a testimony that I believe proves his existence, grace and love. And for the first time in my life, I feel more love than I have ever felt before. God’s love, my Heavenly father. It’s an amazing feeling. I’m struggling with the knowledge of the depth of pain I caused my daughter. This struggle is harder than being newly disabled, and harder than the humility of struggle I deal with daily due to my ileostomy. so, taking the advice in #9 above, I will give myself credit for my resilience and I will step forward again with grace.
Harold Tinker says
I woke up this morning in great need of what I read. I’m 83 and realize I need to accept the fact I’m getting old. It doesn’t last forever.
After over 30 years pouring concrete and being active every day, doing very little now isn’t easy for me. I guess letting myself accept the fact that life goes on regardless if I accept it all or not.Time waits for no man. Not even me. I know the rest of my life will be what I make it. If I mess it up, I can’t blame it on anyone but myself.
God said it’s not good for man to dwell alone, but I lost a good wife 11 years ago so I dwell alone. Easy to feel sorry for myself. But I’m focusing forward. 2020 was hard, but I grew stronger inside. I sincerely believe this.
Thanks for all you effort helping folks, like me, to make adjustments.
Paul Murphy says
Number 2 all day long. You can in no way shape or form perfect control over how you feel when something unexpected happens to you. But you absolutely can learn how to react more effectively—that reaction is totally a choice. It’s not an easy skill to learn of course but once the realisation sets in that you can indeed choose a response then at that very moment you acquire a hugely powerful ability and your quality of life will begin to improve considerably. Great article!
Maggie says
Dear Marc and Angel and all commenters
Thank you all. I love all of you and you all help me by being positive and resiliant and not giving up. I’m 60 and this is a new start for me as I just stopped working a few months ago and need to find new ways to make my life meaningful and satisfying. I feel positive today after reading this article and the comments. I particularly loved hearing from the 83 year old man who lost his beloved wife. If you are reading, you inspired me by your openness to life and your willingness to accept that you are still learning. I want to be like that at 83.
Love and blessings