The goal every day for the rest of the year is to gradually grow stronger on the inside, so that less and less on the outside can affect your inner wellness without your conscious permission.
Truth be told, how you cope with unexpected stress and frustration can easily be the difference between living a good life and living an unhealthy one. If you choose unhealthy coping mechanisms like avoidance or denial, for example, you can quickly turn a tough situation into a tragic one. And sadly, this is a common mistake many people make.
When you find yourself facing a disheartening reality, your first reaction might be to deny the situation, or to avoid dealing with it altogether. But by doing so you’re inadvertently holding on even tighter to the pain that you wish to let go of — you’re, in effect, sealing it up inside you.
Let’s imagine someone close to you has grown ill, and supporting this person through his or her illness is incredibly painful. You might not want to deal with the pain, so you cope by avoiding it, by finding ways to numb yourself with alcohol and unhealthy eating. And consequently, you grow physically ill too while the pain continues to fester inside you.
Obviously that’s not good.
If you notice yourself doing something similar, it’s time to pause, admit to yourself that you’re coping by avoiding, and then shift your focus to a healthier coping mechanism, like using the quotes listed later in this post (several of which are excerpts from our books) to help you open your mind.
When you face struggles with an attitude of openness — open to the painful feelings and emotions you have — you find out that it’s not comfortable, but you can still be fine and you can still step forward. Openness means you don’t instantly decide that you know this is only going to be a horrible experience — it means you admit that you don’t really know what the next step will be like, and you’d like to understand the whole truth of the matter. It’s a learning stance, instead of one that assumes the worst.
The General Benefits of Healthy Coping
Coping certainly isn’t an easy practice, and I’m not suggesting that it is. What I am suggesting is that it’s worth your while. With practice, healthy coping allows you to find better ways of managing life’s continuous stream of unexpected and uncontrollable circumstances. For example…
- A task is harder than you expected it to be — Instead of running from a daunting and overwhelming task, you can accept it and see what it’s like to feel uncomfortable and overwhelmed, and still take action anyway. Writing a book, for example, is daunting and overwhelming, but you can still write one even with those feelings rolling through you (just like Angel and I did with our NY Times bestselling book).
- An interaction with someone you love angers or frustrates you — Instead of lashing out at a loved one when you’re upset with them, you can sit quietly with your difficult feelings and just be open to what it’s like to feel them. And then, once you’ve had a moment to breathe, you can see what it’s like to deal compassionately with someone you love who you’re also upset with. To try to understand them instead of just judging them at their worst.
- Unhealthy cravings overwhelm you out of nowhere — You may be inclined to indulge in unhealthy cravings like alcohol and sweets for comfort when you’re feeling stressed out. But you can sit with these feelings and be open to them instead, and then gradually build positive daily rituals for coping in healthier ways—taking walks, meditating, talking with someone about your feelings, journaling, reviewing the relevant quotes from our book provided in this post, etc.
- You are forced to deal with a loved one’s death — When someone you love passes away, the grief and sense of loss can seem overwhelming. And at that point, it’s incredibly easy to give in to unhealthy, “quick-fix” ways of alleviating the pain. But you have to force yourself to do the opposite—to give yourself compassion, to sit with the powerfully difficult thoughts and feelings you have, and to open your mind to what lies ahead. Gradually it becomes evident that death isn’t just an ending, but also a beginning. Because while you have lost someone special, this ending, like all losses, is a moment of reinvention. Although deeply sad, their passing forces you to reinvent your life, and in this reinvention is an opportunity to experience beauty in new, unseen ways and places.
And of course, we’ve merely just scratched the surface of an endless pool of possibilities for healthy coping. The key thing to understand is that by learning to cope in healthier ways, you will find that you can better handle anything life throws your way, and come out stronger, and oftentimes even happier, than you were before.
In the end, the world is as you are inside. What you think, you see, and you ultimately become. So gather and choose your thoughts wisely — think how you want to live today. And use these quotes to guide you:
Quotes for Letting Go and Healthy Coping
In moments of unexpected stress and frustration, an uplifting reminder can make all the difference in your mindset. And that’s exactly why I’m sharing the quotes below with you today. Together they collectively serve as a healthy coping mechanism for life’s inevitable disappointments. And understanding how to cope in a healthy way, as we’ve discussed, is an invaluable skill.
Truth be told, Angel and I personally reference these quotes on a regular basis to bring perspective, shift our mindset, and cope with the unexpected troubles we can’t control. And although this practice is indeed a personal one, it’s also been vetted by its extensive use in hundreds of successful one-on-one (and two-on-one) coaching sessions that Angel and I have administered with our course students, live event attendees, and coaching clients over the years. Perhaps they will help you too…
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…and I dare you to dance today! 🙂
But before you go, please share this post with others who you think will benefit from it, and also share your thoughts with us in the comments section below. Which quote above resonated the most today? Or perhaps share an additional quote or personal saying that has helped you let go and cope more effectively with the things you can’t control.
Finally, if you haven’t done so already, be sure to sign-up for our free newsletter to receive new articles like this in your inbox each week.
Headline photo by: Roman Kraft
therese F. says
Marc, I couldn’t agree more with your opening thoughts on the importance and power of healthy coping mechanisms. And I think these quotes from your book are one good tool for the job. From your work I have also learned the importance and power of self-inquiry…the practice of questioning our thoughts and beliefs, and bringing greater awareness to how our inaccurate thoughts and beliefs bring incredible amounts of unnecessary stress. This too has helped me cope and ultimately move my life forward following a prolonged period of struggle. Anyway, I just wanted to say thanks.
Oh, and if I had to share just one other quote with the world, it’d be the serenity prayer:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.
Michelle Rogers says
These are simple but powerful. Thank you for sharing.
JB says
Amen.
LeAnn Anderson says
Thank you for each and every one of those quotes. I can totally relate to everyone on them. I am going to share these with my boys. We all could use some inspiration lately and I know these will help.
Jason Kolee says
Such a great highlight of daily reminders, M&A! I just saved several of these pics to my phone so I can reference them as affirmations when I need a quick shift in perspective. Also, your 1,000 Little Things book is a daily source for guidance to me.
And now I’ll add one of my longtime favorites from one of Angel’s past email newsletter emails…
“Paradise is not a place – it’s a state of mind. Whenever the grass looks greener on the other side… Stop staring, stop comparing, stop complaining, and start watering the grass you’re standing on.”
So incredibly important to remember as I continue to work on being mindful and putting my best foot forward. And many of the quotes in this blog post help reinforce this too.
Thank you for another solid resource!
TESSA SIMMONS says
Amen!!!
Rahman says
Thank you very much for these valuable tips and reminders you send me via email each week. What you aggregate and share gives me much strength and confidence to the days ahead in the midst of my problems worries and frustrations..
Bethany says
Like Jason mentioned above, I too have several go-to daily quotes and affirmations that I’ve gradually written down or snap-shotted from your marcandangel.com emails and your books over the years. So thanks for all the inspiration.
One quote from your book that I reference and repeat to myself the most is this one:
“Too many people say they want a new life, but then they take the new one they get every minute for granted. Don’t do this to yourself. Don’t hold on to what’s no longer there. Don’t wait until your life is almost over to realize how priceless the present moment is. The good life is here – it begins right now, when you stop wanting a different one.”
Laiba says
Your quotes and reminders here totally changed my mindset about a few things today.
Bless you.
KWASI says
Yes nothing is permanent. Truly, all shall surely come to pass.
Such a harsh yet necessary reminder.
Thanks for sharing. Been following your work for over 10 years now.
Gail says
These reminders and quotes are wonderful and so true to live by….I love watercolours and I am currently doing a daily art journal. I will use these reminders in my art in the days ahead. Simple and so beautiful are these quotes. I want to pass them on.
Christie says
Hi – Just found your website via your 1000 little things book and already feeling a shift from the reading. I always thought being a good person would somehow magically keep bad people away (like they’d be repulsed by positivity or something). Of course, that never worked and I’d get crushed. I started to suspect my belief, but seeing you articulate different perspectives in different ways really hits home. Many thanks for the continued guidance.
Mel says
As always deep wisdom contained as a kernal within each of these quotes. Each one could be the basis for deep reflection to see its truth and to think about how to start to apply it in my own life.
I really really needed to read many of these quotes today and they all resonated with me and I love that they are a call to action – no one can change me but myself – thanks for the inspiration and some tools to start and keep going with the process.
Chin says
A quote that I like is this :
Happiness comes when you stop complaining about the troubles you have and give thanks for the troubles you don’t have.
Agnetha says
I have copied many of your wisdom pieces into a Word document which I read every Sunday to give me confidence for the coming week.
Rosie says
Thank you both so much for your gracious wisdom – your words are soothing to my spirit – your quotations are as gold – treasures to be kept and respected – so often your emails pop into my inbox and as I read them and their wise words work their magic – I find myself slowing down from busy life – somehow your words cause my soul to sing – its like a different dimension – one of peace calm serenity – thank you for today’s quotations – I will write them.and read them every day – you save my sanity – thank you both xxx
Carmen Mota says
Love your short, beautiful and meaningful quotes. So much substance behind them.
Have shared with our grown kids and g-kids.
Blessings!
Henly Dopo says
Thank you for always coming up with the best. It fuels my energy and motivates me to keep pushing on for the good. I got a lot of motivation out of this reading and the quotes shared. They are all equally important.
Thank you.
Micky says
“I Avoid Looking Back, I Prefer Fond Memories to Regrets”
-Grace Kelly
Lou says
THANK YOU. ALL GREAT QUOTES. PASSING THEM ON TO MY 2 DAUGHTERS.
Linda says
Loved all the quotes but the last one is my favourite. Whatever else you must always dance even if you don’t dance well just keep dancing.
Arun Dongrey says
Dear Mark & Angel,
I agree with all your points except your point Number: 16.
You should not go away from the stressful situation,
on the contrary, you should be able to face it peacefully and with dignity being firm within yourself thinking that
this external situation can not change your inner bliss and peace…
acayo Evelyn says
I want to start by saying thank you for the daily inspiration words you always share.
I personally,I was a person who went through valley of despair to the extent of engaging in unhealthy habits like alcohol in order to escape the reality for a moment…..was never decided, wanted everything for myself, became mad to the extent my bro telling me I need a therapy… wow, the word therapy sounded really serious to me till I happened to bumped into your daily readings n really it changed my whole life n I can fully attest that I no longer need a therapist.
I’m really grateful to you n the family.
C L says
Yes! LOVE the serenity prayer! Also (from AlAnon, possibly AA?):
“I didn’t cause it.
I can’t control it.
I can’t change it”
The 3 Cs – one of my FAVES!
Margaret says
Throughout my life I have experienced many different forms of ups and downs along with back and forth and can see the value in each of your quotes. Life is a journey that doesn’t promise everything will be perfect everyday but if we truly take a good look around us we can find at least one perfect thing each day, be it a beautiful sunrise or gorgeous sunset, a brilliant smile on a small child’s face or the sweet tender smile of an old person, just look around and you will find something to make you feel better about each day. Be thankful for each blessing you receive and always know you never have to walk alone because God is always there with us. If he brings us to it, he will bring us through it! My strength most often comes when I know I have handled a situation as best I could and then expressed my favorite quote “Let go and let GOD”.
Thank you for sharing your quotes and bless you!
Anna Horst says
Dear Marc & Angel,
I love what you do and I often find your quotes on Pinterest.
I had multiple left brain damage 7 years ago this month. As I look back on the things that happened in my life, I thank you because it is like putting all my sentiments in place.
But ultimately, God’s Faithfulness, Grace, and Mercy are what kept me pushing forward to this day!
SimplyAnnamazing
Scott Siwicki says
Thank you for sharing these 40 quotes. They are all valuable; I will keep these. And read them again; and pass them along.
Scott